baby whisperer book reviews

The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg – Book Review

Published by admin on june 26, 2018 june 26, 2018.

As I sat in my hospital bed for 5 days recovering from an emergency c-section after the birth of my first born, I spent a lot of time reading through Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (or The Baby Whisperer as lots call it).  I had taken it into the hospital with me thinking that I might find time to flip to some important bookmarked pages if I found time. The one thing that surprised me most during those first few days post birth, was the amount of time that I found myself with. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer got a good workout!

But, I will never forget my favorite midwife, commenting on my reading material. “You should be reading your baby, not a book love”.

She was right. There is no substitute to reading your baby. Your baby will tell you when they are hungry, when they are tired, when they are bored and when they just want to hang out with you. However, learning to read your baby is not easy. Just like when you first learned to read words and recognise the different letters, sounds they make and how to put them together into a meaningful word and then sentence, learning to read a baby is exactly the same.

After my second child was born, I don’t think I picked up Secrets of the Baby Whisperer once. I knew what I was looking for in his behaviour and temperament, and everything just worked. Sure he was different than my firstborn, but to use the reading analogy, because I already knew how to read, it wasn’t hard to learn how to read a different book.

The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer was my learn to read manual for my firstborn. It helped me remain calm, connect with my daughter and communicate with her.  It taught me to respect her as a unique individual.

I took on certain parts more than others (I didn’t use any of the breastfeeding advice for example) and when I struggled with 45 minute catnaps and the EASY rhythym went out of wack, I just dropped it and did the best I could. (While I found EASY – Eat, Activity, Sleep, You a great foundation and overall routine to follow, when your baby only has a short sleep and they aren’t ready to start the cycle back at “Eat” again it tends to throw the routine out the window!)  Because I had followed Tracy Hoggs advice on connecting with my baby I was able to discern what she needed, even if she wasn’t following the traditional Baby Whisperer pattern.

The Baby Whisperer Routine

Tracy Hogg is fairly clear in the beginning of her book that she doesn’t like schedules or sticking to the clock. She prefers a routine, which is a set series of events that can be repeated throughout the day. While Tracy doesn’t necessarily advocate attachment parenting, she doesn’t advocate strict schedules either. Tracy describes her style as somewhere in the middle ground.

Her overall guidance is that mom and baby thrives best when they follow a routine she calls EASY: E = Eat

A = Activity

In the early days, the routine will repeat itself every 2-3 hours. But by four months of age, a baby will be on a 4 hour routine. (Lots of parents find that their 4 month old routine is still at 3 to 3 and a half hours long, and it can take up to 6 months, or even longer to reach a 4 hour routine).

The routine progresses this way until the 9 month old routine which usually includes a short 45 minute nap at around 9am in the morning followed by a longer sleep in the middle of the day. Eventually the morning sleep disappears.

Tracy Hogg does not include a lot of details regarding the actual timing of routines (although there is a short example towards the front of the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer book for illustration purposes only) as she believes each child is an individual and each family is different as well.

I can highly recommend reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and think you will be sure to find at least glimmer of good advice that will apply to your own baby, family and situation.  As with all parenting books, everyone has a different parenting style and is going to relate to different advice. The thing I liked most about Tracy Hogg’s Secrets of the Baby Whisperer is her encouraging nature and words that empowered me as a parent to make my own parenting decisions.

Tracy Hogg has a number of books available as followups to her first “The Baby Whisperer” classic, which you can purchase from Amazon.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer is Tracy’s first book, and the best one to start with. The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems goes into more detail than the first, and trouble shoots common problems that parents have asked her throughout her career. This is a definite ‘must have’ in my opinion. But make sure you’ve read the original first! Sleep (which can also be bought from Amazon’s Kindle store – which means you can start read it straight away!) is a book that I haven’t read, but I’ve heard amazing things from those who have used it. If sleep is your main issue, I would highly recommend it. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers might not be something for you right now, but don’t forget it for a few years time. I found her advice very practical and calming.

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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg More book reviews coming soon.  

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby

The first time I read Dr. William Sears’ warning against “baby trainers,” I couldn’t help picturing a man in a top hat sending beleaguered babies through a series of hoops. Now I can replace that image with the smiling face of “Baby Whisperer” Tracy Hogg, the apparent ringmaster in today’s world of baby trainers.

In Secrets Of The Baby Whisperer: How To Calm, Connect, And Communicate With Your Baby , Hogg and co-author Melinda Blau promise to help new parents maintain balance by preventing a newborn from dominating their lives.

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Sorting fact from opinion from flat-out fiction in this book’s nearly 300 pages is something no new parent should have to do. But parenting advice sells, a fact attested to by the book’s New York Times bestseller status, so you can bet plenty of moms and dads are trying out Hogg’s suggestions.

Of course not all her advice contradicts the basics of attachment parenting (which itself is a parenting style that varies from family to family). And I share her fondness for such things as cloth diapers and infant massage. But so much of what Hogg serves up as wholesome, commonsense guidance for mums and dads (she hails from the U.K. and likes to play up her “Englishness”) is so obviously counter to natural parenting, and breastfeeding in particular, that this book should come with a warning label.

The backbone of Hogg’s parenting system, a “structured routine” she calls E.A.S.Y., has four components: the amount of time she prescribes for eating (25 to 40 minutes every 2 � to 3 hours), activity (45 minutes), sleeping (one half to one hour), and you (an hour or more for mom while the baby sleeps). While she acknowledges that the exact amount of time will vary from baby to baby and with the baby’s age, she makes it clear that following a schedule such as the one she outlines is crucial to preventing “chaos in the house.”

When she lays out the case for her E.A.S.Y. parenting routine, Hogg takes a couple of paragraphs to dismiss rigid schedules and on-demand feeding, setting herself up as a champion of the reasonable middle ground between these two “extremes.”

When Hogg states that feeding on demand simply makes babies demanding and that parents who do so will be giving up their own lives, anyone who knows what attachment parenting is and is not probably will put the book down.

Those who keep reading should, as Hogg herself recommends more than once about other people’s advice, take what they read with a grain of salt.

On the issue of breastfeeding, Hogg again plants herself on self-proclaimed middle ground. She laments the “controversy” over feeding choices and sympathizes with new moms who must wade through “huge propaganda campaigns.” (I would think her attempt to equate the efforts of volunteer organizations such as La Leche League with the money-driven marketing of formula companies must be insulting to many readers, regardless of their feeding choices.)

Even as Hogg congratulates herself on her “even-handedness,” she manages to vastly understate the benefits of breastfeeding while giving considerable ink to the merits of formula, which, she informs us, “is more refined and chock-full of nutrients than ever.”

The section of her book titled “Making the Choice” reads more like a defense of formula than an objective overview of feeding choices. Among other things, she poo-poos bonding as a reason to breastfeed, complains that the health benefits of breast milk have been overblown, warns that nursing mothers must carry an extra five to 10 pounds to ensure proper nutrition for their babies, makes a point of emphasizing that studies merely suggest – not prove – that breastfeeding might offer women protection from a variety of health problems, and maintains that women concerned about body image might be better off using formula since breastfeeding can leave them “flat as pancakes” or “sagging.”

Hogg seems so eager to make up for the breastfeeding advocates who are, she implies, out to make mothers who choose formula feel guilty , that she can’t seem to discuss breast milk without plugging formula in the same breath:

“The proverbial bottom line is that while it is good for a baby to have some breast milk, especially during the first month, if that’s not the mother’s choice or if for some reason the mother can’t breastfeed, formula-feeding is a perfectly acceptable alternative – for some, the preferable alternative.”

When it comes to the practical how-to’s of breastfeeding, Hogg provides nuggets of accurate information, but she offers up numerous duds as well, including such incorrect or incomplete information as:

• “After breastfeeding, always wipe off your nipples with a clean washcloth. The residue of milk can be a breeding ground for bacteria .” (Just not true; there is no need to wipe your nipples after every feeding.)
• “. always wait one hour (after exercising) before breastfeeding.” (The lactic acid buildup she’s warning about has not been shown to cause harm, and though some babies seem to dislike the taste of mother’s milk after heavy exercise, many babies show no aversion whatsoever.)
• And for a mother worried she isn’t producing enough milk: “Once a day, fifteen minutes before a feed, pump your breasts and measure what you are yielding. Taking into account that a baby can extract at least one ounce more by physically sucking at your breast, you have a good idea of what you’re producing.” (While this test might work well for some mothers, it can be misleading for others. Many mothers find that, though they get very little milk when they pump, their babies are getting plenty at the breast. Weight gain and the number of wet diapers a baby produces are better measures of milk production.)

Another low point in the book is Hogg’s take on nursing toddlers: “My feeling is that when mothers prolong nursing, it’s almost always for them , not for the baby.” She follows this statement with an anecdote about a mother who was (gasp!) still nursing her two-and-a-half-year-old. Because her husband was not supportive, she was doing so behind his back – obviously not a good situation. To make a long story short, the mother came to her senses, weaned the baby, and “was automatically a better parent, a better wife, and a stronger human being.”

The strangest line of thinking comes in a sidebar titled “Feeding Fashions” in which Hogg points out that, though breastfeeding is “all the rage” today, “in the postwar decades . the majority believed that formula was best for babies.” She fails to mention the reasons for formula’s rise, the consequences of the trend, or that the world health community now is in near-unanimous agreement that breast milk is best. Instead she shares this bizarre thought:

“As this book is being written, scientists are experimenting with the notion of genetically altering cows to produce human breast milk. If that happens, perhaps in the future everyone will tout cow’s milk.”

Hogg goes on to quote a 1999 article from the Journal of Nutrition that suggests formulas may one day be so advanced they will meet babies’ needs better than human milk.

I’m not sure where to file that last bit of information, but there is at least one thing this book makes clear: If you’re looking for a baby trainer, you can skip the circus and turn instead to Tracy Hogg. If it’s accurate parenting information you seek, look elsewhere.

— Mary Tatko is the stay-at-home-mom of 19-month-old Jake.

Mary comments:

As you can see, I mainly focused on the chapter about feeding choices, though there was plenty I could take issue with in her chapter on sleep. As you might imagine, Hogg is not a fan of shared sleep. She sets up her recommendations about sleep in the same way she takes on other issues: She dismisses those whose views are “extreme,” then presents what she claims is a “middle-of-the-road, commonsense approach.” When she’s getting ready to pitch her system for “sensible sleep,” she cites Dr. Sears, La Leche League, and “Mothering” magazine as the extremes on the family bed side of the issue. (Dr. Ferber is her example of the other side.) And while she encourages those for whom such practices work to “by all means stick with it,” she warns that “extreme practices don’t work for many people.”

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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer

How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby

Tracy Hogg, Melinda Blau | 4.04 | 10,071 ratings and reviews

Ranked #24 in Baby , Ranked #59 in Parenting — see more rankings .

Rankings by Category

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer is ranked in the following categories:

• #89 in Dalai Lama
• #80 in Effective Communication
• #83 in Toddler Parenting

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The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (by Teaching You How to Ask the Right Questions): Sleeping, Feeding and Behaviour - Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerdom Paperback – Import, Jan. 1 2017

Purchase options and add-ons.

• Language English
• Publisher Vermilion
• Publication date Jan. 1 2017
• Dimensions 18.9 x 3 x 23.6 cm
• ISBN-10 0091902517
• ISBN-13 978-0091902513
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About the author, product details.

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Vermilion (Jan. 1 2017)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0091902517
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0091902513
• Item weight ‏ : ‎ 1.05 kg
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 18.9 x 3 x 23.6 cm

About the authors

Melinda blau.

Award-winning journalist Melinda Blau has been researching,writing, and speaking about relationships and social trends for more than thirty years. Her latest book, Family Whispering is the fourth book in the popular Baby Whispering series. She answers readers' questions weekly at "Dear Family Whisperer" on Huffington Post.

Melinda began collaborating with the late Tracy Hogg (a.k.a., the "Baby Whisperer") in 2000 and has since given birth to three best-selling books: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, and The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. Her new book, Family Whispering, guides BW fans through the next (and even trickier) phase of parenthood: working together as a family. 

In her 2009 book, Consequential Strangers: Turning Everyday Encounters into Life-Changing Moments, a collaboration with psychologist Karen L. Fingerman, Melinda looked at the opposite end of the relationship spectrum: the surprisingly vital connections that extend beyond family and close friends--a subject that took her into the world of business and marketing, the Internet and social media, health and "place making."

Melinda's more than hundred articles on families, marriage, education, health, and sexuality have been featured in highly-regarded print venues such as New York, The New York Times, Utne Reader, and the Psychotherapy Networker. For six years, she also penned "The New Family" column for Child magazine and now writes the weekly "Dear Famiy Whisperer" column for Huffington Post. She also contributes to a number of online magazines, including Psychology Today, Shareable, More, BeliefNet, and RewireMe.

Melinda's other books include: Families Apart (co-parenting after divorce) with its companion reader, Loving and Listening. She also co-wrote with: family therapist Ron Taffel (Parenting by Heart, Nurturing Good Children Now, and The Second Family); civil rights activist Myrlie Evers Williams (Watch Me Fly); researchers Christopher Hayes and Deborah Anderson (Our Turn: How Women Triumph in the Face of Divorce); and life coach and empowerment expert Barbara Biziou (Joy of Ritual and Joy of Family Rituals).

A featured guest expert on Oprah, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, and numerous other national and local TV and radio broadcasts, Melinda's writing also has been honored by a wide variety of organizations, among them, the American Psychological Association, the Children's Rights Council, the Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Association of Applied and Preventive Psychology, the American Legion Auxiliary "Heart of America" competition, and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

Visit Melinda Blau's author page on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1l2L4c5 and follow her on Twitter: @melindablau

Find out more about Family Whispering at http://familywhispering.com. You can also read Melinda's other blogs at: www.consequentialstrangers.com

and www.motheru.com (a site exploring the mother/adult daughter relationship)

Tracy Hogg, RNMH, considered a "modern-day Mary Poppins" by the many whose lives she touched, died in 2004. Her legacy lives on in her bestselling books -- Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, which she also coauthored with Melinda Blau -- as well as her television series, consulting enterprise, and website.

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The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems

Sleeping, feeding, and behavior--beyond the basics from infancy through toddlerhood.

• 3.3 • 114 Ratings

Publisher Description

New York Times bestselling author Tracy Hogg, now in a new role as "Ms. Fixit," takes us beyond the basics presented in her first two successful Baby Whisperer books. In this latest book, Hogg shares her experience in the trenches, responding to questions she has been asked repeatedly by thousands of parents who have sought her out for private consultations, flocked to her book signings, and contacted her via her website (babywhisperer.com). Here she focuses her renowned baby-whispering energies on solving the most common difficulties -- including feeding issues, sleep troubles, and behavior problems -- and puts together a comprehensive package of specific and targeted strategies. In addition to explaining her most effective approaches in greater depth and detail, Hogg introduces a wealth of new baby-whispering concepts in these pages. She teaches parents of babies and toddlers how to catch everyday difficulties before they become chronic, as well as how to solve deeply entrenched problems. As such, The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems lives up to its promise, providing a compendium of surprising and deceptively simple trouble-shooting techniques and practical remedies. For Tracy's fans, this book will be a welcome addition to the Hogg library; for readers unfamiliar with her philosophy of care, it will open a new world of understanding and insight. It is a must-have for all parents of young children, a guidebook to read from cover to cover, a resource to keep on the nightstand.

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY JAN 17, 2005

Hogg, a British nurse (and author, with journalist Blau, of two previous Baby Whisperer titles) who died of melanoma at age 44 in late 2004, addresses the issues of eating, sleeping and behavior in infants and toddlers. Hogg's followers will no doubt be delighted with her tips on breast and bottle feeding, introducing solids and coping with colic and other problems (though the book probably won't please those seeking a less structured approach to parenting). A stickler for details, Hogg stresses the importance of establishing patterns and routines, and even includes meticulous feeding charts. Her chapter on sleep problems is especially useful, with troubleshooting tips to help determine whether a baby is overstimulated, in discomfort, hungry or lacks an adequate sleep ritual. Hogg espouses "PC" (patient and conscious) parenting, as opposed to "accidental" or quick-fix parenting. She uses acronyms and abbreviations freely, explaining, for example, the sequence of events known as E.A.S.Y (eat, activity, sleep, you) and the sleep strategy she calls P.U/ P.D. In spite of Hogg's easygoing tone and friendly propensity for calling her readers "luv," her approach to solving problems is quite methodical. The high-spirited Hogg is humorous yet relentless in her quest to help parents find out why their baby acts a certain way and how to manage and respond to various behaviors.

Customer Reviews

Life changing.

I live by this book. It gave me the structure my LO needed and the confidence I needed.

Not at all helpful, tends to blame parents

We were hopeful in buying this book to help us with our first child. It was not helpful at all. If anything, the author suggests that it is your fault when things are not going well, or that you have a “problem child”. We switched to Taking Cara Babies which was much more practical, useful, and helpful. We honestly did not enjoy any of this book. The message is that you are guilty if your baby is not doing the things it is supposed to.

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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer Book Review

I finished reading  Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby   over this past weekend. This book was written by Tracy Hogg . I must admit that when I started the book, I was highly skeptical that I would like it. I don’t know what ever gave me the impression, but I thought I would find it absurd. My husband was really turned off by the title. He didn’t tell me until I was done reading it, but he said his impression was that it would be kind of “ hocus pocus .”

As it turns out, I really enjoyed the book and would highly recommend it to you. I checked it out from the library, but do plan to purchase it after reading it. This is a book for mothers of newborns and meshes well with Babywise ( BW ) . The book outlines Hogg’s plan she has dubbed E.A.S.Y. Her routine is Eat, Activity, Sleep, You (you time while baby sleeps).

Summary of Secrets of the Baby Whisperer

Here is a summary of the books contents:

• Introduction of Tracy Hogg and background on her. This chapter outlines the reasons she is “the baby whisperer”
• Proper expectations for the baby you gave birth to and you. This chapter gives you a personality profile to get to know your child better. It also really lets you know what life is really like once you bring that baby home from the hospital. This is one reason I highly recommend this book to BW moms. Reading BW , you get all pumped up and ready to implement this simple plan. When baby comes and the work with it, you start to get discouraged. Hogg is very candid about life with a newborn. It is hard. It is a major adjustment. Any mom who is slightly OCD like myself will greatly benefit from reading this and learning to give proper priorities to life with a newborn.
• Explanation of the E.A.S.Y plan. This goes through her structured routine plan and the importance of structure in a baby’s life.
• Explanation of S.L.O.W. Hogg is a proponent of babies as individuals who are very human. This chapter helps mom and dad learn to respect baby’s feelings and understand how baby communicates with them.
• Eating. This chapter goes over breast vs. bottle feeding and other eating issues. This is a chapter that really irritated me as I read it. I get the impression that she thinks breastfeeding is best for the baby, but she doesn’t want to offend any bottle-feeding mothers out there. She really down-plays the benefits of breastfeeding in this chapter.
• Activities with baby. Diapering, dressing, playing, bathing, massaging.
• Sleep. This chapter goes over sleep patterns and practices. This is another chapter that brought me confusion. She says she never lets a baby cry, but also that you might have to let a baby cry…
• You. The importance of rejuvenating yourself, sharing responsibilities, and getting support.
• A chapter on adoption, surrogacy, multiple births, preemies, and babies born with health issues.
• Three Day Magic. This chapter outlines the ways parents contribute to problems with their child’s difficulties and how to change those patterns.
• Final thoughts.

Although I don’t agree with everything in the book, I found this book to be informative, interesting, candid, realistic, and beneficial. If you are pregnant, I definitely recommend this to you. If you have a baby 0-6 months in age, I also definitely recommend this to you. 6-9 months, you might get some benefit. 9-12 months…slight chance. 1 year or older….it is interesting reading, but isn’t likely going to do anything for you at this point. If you plan to have children in the future, though, I would recommend this book.

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Reader Comments:

• Jamie said… The title is a bit weird, isn’t it? The book really does mesh well with BabyWise in a lot of ways though. These were the two main books I read before bringing my son home and I think they helped me a great deal. The routines and the structure really helped. 🙂 July 21, 2008 2:29 PM Plowmanators said… Thanks Jamie. It is good to get other opinions of BW moms on this book. I think this can be a great book for any mom who is prone to hyperschedule. It can help her chill out a bit 🙂 July 23, 2008 3:21 PM
• mmonfore said… This book and Babywise are the two books I recommend to friends (or give as gifts at baby showers). I love many parts of the book. It seems to offer more detailed advice but does really mesh with BW. It sort of fills in the gaps. One part that I particularly love is the section on baby’s body language. It was so right on with my LO and helped me understand him better. And one difference with this book compared to BW is that it recommends the eat/awake/sleep routine but not on a set schedule. So for those who don’t like to be looking at the clock all day, it’s a good book. And I do love the discussion of personality types . I think both of my kids are “textbook”. My LO is borderline “angel”. Hogg has a book for toddlers but I didn’t find it as helpful. This is definitely her claim to fame. July 21, 2008 10:39 PM Plowmanators said… Maureen,I also like the personality types. I have some thoughts I am going to discuss in an upcoming post. The body language part was very interesting also. I plan to try that out with the next baby. July 23, 2008 3:23 PM
• Cristine said… I read “The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems” and BW when my baby was born, and both were essential for me! I also give them both to friends who are pregnant. This second book by Tracy gives a summary of E.A.S.Y and talks about every problem a mom might face (with routine, feeding, solids, sleep, etc). I think it’s a better option for mom’s of older babies too.I also got confused by the sleep thing…I didn’t know if I should do CIO or use her method of tapping the baby’s back saying shh. I did CIO, which worked, but now that my baby is 6 months, if I have to do something, I rather do her Pick Up, Put Down method (4 months and older) instead of CIO. July 22, 2008 4:56 AM Plowmanators said… Cristine,Thanks! I will have to read that one next. July 23, 2008 3:24 PM
• The Traveling Turtle said… I also read the Hogg book and used it as a wonderful referance tool. It was very informative in areas that BW was vague. Both are wonderful to have on hand. Although – the part about losing trust from your child if you let them CIO was a little odd. It scared me to death at first and I refused to let my daughter cry. Her outline for what you had to do to build the trust back was a little frightening. I ended up doing stricktly BW after 5 weeks and used her book as a back up tool. Thank you so much for this wonderful website! July 22, 2008 9:29 AM Plowmanators said… Traveling Turtle, I also thought that part about losing trust weird. I found myself worrying about it, then telling myself to snap out of it. Both of my kids did CIO and both are perfectly fine 🙂 You do bring up an excellent point that you need to pick one book to follow and use others as bonuses when they are in agreeance with each other. You can’t serve two masters 🙂 July 23, 2008 3:27 PM
• Rachel Stellaaa said… I also liked “The Bsby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems” (the second book). It had some really good helpful tips and was similar to BW except for the CIO and “trust issues” (which made me nervous at first but no longer do because I have found them to not be true). I think reading multiple books can be really helpful as long as you are just pick and choose what works best for you. July 22, 2008 11:47 AM Plowmanators said… Rachel, Thanks for your added benefit. I am all for reading lots of books 🙂 July 23, 2008 9:47 PM
• melissa said… I love the Hogg books too. I found the discussion on temperments of babies particularly interesting. I think many moms aren’t 100% comfortable with the whole CIO thing, so Hogg’s suggestions may be valuable, e.g. shushing, patting, etc. July 23, 2008 11:19 AM Plowmanators said… Melissa,mmmm-hmmmm. I agree–the temperment is one of the best things abotu the book. And her non-CIO solution is a good one for moms who don’t want to do CIO. July 23, 2008 9:54 PM

3 thoughts on “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer Book Review”

The reason the baby whisperer (and many others) say that crying-it-out makes babies lose trust in their caretakers is because when a child cries, they are communicating a need (whether hunger, thirst, fear, too-cold, needing affection, etc.) and when that communication isn't responded to, they learn that they can trust that their needs will be met. In a lot of second and third world country's orphanages, hungry children cry for food at first and then eventually give up, knowing that they won't get their need met. They just go hungry. I like the method she mentions about patting the back and "shhhhhh-ing" them. Also picking the child up and then putting them back down worked very well for us!

You can read my rebuttal to sleep training breaking trust here: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/06/sleep-training-and-trust.htmlIf you truely believe that comparing orphans to a loving mom teaching her child to learn to sleep on their own, you defintily don't have an accurate picture of what that is like. Orphans are left with needs unmet. That is not what sleep training is about. You make sure ALL needs are met before baby is in bed. You meet needs before baby needs to cry about it…but that is all in my post I linked.

What's a great book! Thanks for sharing this

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Stream It Or Skip It: ‘See You In Another Life’ On Hulu, About A Teen Who Participated In The 2004 Madrid Terror Bombings

Where to stream:.

• See You in Another Life

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In March of 2004, a coordinated terror attack at various train stations in Madrid killed 193 people. In 2014, Gabriel Montoya Vidal, nicknamed “Baby,” spoke to journalist Manuel Jabois about his role in the bombings; he was a 15-year-old drug dealer who ended up transporting explosives to the jihadists who executed the bombings. A new scripted series streaming on Hulu is based on Jabois’ book that came from those interviews.

SEE YOU IN ANOTHER LIFE : STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

Opening Shot: A teen staring at the ceiling in his room, while the adult version of that teen talks to a journalist about whether he has any regrets over his role in the 2004 Madrid train bombings.

The Gist: Gabriel, nicknamed “Baby” (Roberto Gutiérrez) is 15 in 2004, and three months after the Madrid terror attacks, in which he participated by transporting explosives to the jihadists that blew the train stations in the country’s worst terror attack, he thought he was in the clear. But he’s drawn outside by a phone call, where the police surround him, slap cuffs and a hood on him, and take him to a juvenile detention facility.

Given where Baby came from, this is not a surprising turn of events, as we see him as a 5-year-old in 1993 waiting in a car in Avilés as his father, Manzano (Daniel Holguín), robs a pharmacy at gunpoint. He was a small-time thief and a junkie, and was abusive towards Baby’s mother Pili (Tamara Casellas). By the time Baby is 15, Manzano is in prison and Pili is struggling to provide for Baby and his sisters.

In late 2003, a few months before the bombings, Baby starts a job with a general contractor, which the contractor gave him as a favor to Pili. But by the end of the day, he’s decided that life owes him more than a grunt work job; he borrows 30 euros from the boss, steals a car and leaves.

As he smokes weed with his friends, Baby encounters Emilio Trashorras (Pol López); he beats the crap out of a chicken deliveryman who (rightly) accuses Baby and his buddies of stealing a delivery from him. Emilio likes how ballsy Baby and his friends are, and Baby and his buddy Koala (Javier Eirda) take Emilio’s invitation to join him for lunch. He then shows the two teens his drug-dealing operation; the teens snort their first lines of coke.

Baby gets more involved in Emilio’s operation, selling the good weed he supplies, to the point where Emilio gives him a gun for protection after Baby gets jumped by rival gang members. He even gives Pili some of Emilio’s weed for her to give to Manzano when she goes for conjugal visits so he can sell it. But what Baby doesn’t know is who is supplying what Emilio is selling, which is a terrorist sleeper cell.

What Shows Will It Remind You Of? Based on the book Nos vemos en esta vida o en la otra by Manuel Jabois, See You In Another Life has a similar vibe to Under The Bridge , another Hulu series that debuted on the same day as this series.

Our Take: The 2004 attack against the public transportation system in Madrid killed 193 people; to this day it’s still the country’s most deadly terror attack. But the way See You In Another Life treats the bombing, at least in the first episode, made us scratch our heads. As far as the creators of the series, Jorge Sánchez-Cabezudo and Alberto Sánchez-Cabezudo, are concerned, the story is about how Baby got connected to Emilio, got deeper in his organization, and ultimately ended up being an accessory to the attack. The adult version of Baby (Quim Àvila) tells Jabois that he regrets nothing.

It’s not really a story about the terror attacks, and it feels like the creators treat it like just about any other crime. Even though it’s Spain’s version of 9/11, it’s minimized in this story. So what that leaves us is the portrait of a teenager who had already learned to be a mercenary from his father, a man whom he ended up having little respect for by the time the attacks happened.

So what are we supposed to get out of this story? It’s not like Baby is some good kid who fell in with the wrong crowd. Maybe it’s an illustration of how a teenager can be wrapped up in such a massive terror attack. Maybe it’s how Baby ended up turning on Emilio and the terrorists in order to save his own bacon. But it feels like the implications of Baby’s role in such a mass casualty event are hidden in what feels like a pretty standard “teen getting deeper into a life of crime” story.

Sex and Skin: Even though we are told that Pili makes conjugal visits to Manzano, we end up seeing the conjugal part of one of her visits.

Parting Shot: As we see Baby playing a shooting video game, the adult version says, “I know I’ll never regret anything.”

Sleeper Star: Tamara Casellas has the thankless task of playing Baby’s mother Pili, who gives lip service to what Baby is doing and who he hangs out with, but ends up complying because he’s also helping bring in money they desperately need.

Most Pilot-y Line: Emilio beats the snot out of that chicken deliveryman, who drives a scooter and wears a helmet with a rooster’s comb on top. Hasn’t this man suffered enough?

Our Call: STREAM IT. See You In Another Life has some good performances, and its time-jumping format doesn’t distract from the story its telling. We just hope that the terror attacks are given the proper context within this story.

Joel Keller ( @joelkeller ) writes about food, entertainment, parenting and tech, but he doesn’t kid himself: he’s a TV junkie. His writing has appeared in the New York Times, Slate, Salon, RollingStone.com , VanityFair.com , Fast Company and elsewhere.

• Stream It Or Skip It

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