college essay jokes

Laughing Through Lines: 100+ Hilarious Essay Jokes

Introduction:.

Writing essays can often feel like a daunting task, but adding a touch of humor to the process can make it much more enjoyable.

In this collection of essay jokes, we’ve compiled a series of pun-tastic one-liners that will not only give you a good chuckle but also remind you that even the most serious tasks can be met with a smile.

Elevating Essays Through the Power of Laughter:

Why did the essay go to therapy? It had too many unresolved issues.
What’s an essay’s favorite type of music? Heavy paragraphs!
Why did the student bring a ladder to the library? To get to the high points of the essay.
How do you organize an astronomy essay? In a “space”-ful order.
Why did the computer get an award? It had the best “byte-sized” essay.
Why was the essay cold? It had too many drafts.
Why did the essay break up with the conclusion? It felt too final.
What did one essay say to the other? “I think we’re on the same page.”
Why was the grammar essay so confident? It had a lot of “periods” in its life.
What did the detective say to the suspect essay? “You’re under a very well-constructed paragraph.”
Why did the essay apply for a job? It wanted to support its arguments.
Why did the tomato turn red while writing an essay? It saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a haunted essay? A ghost-writer.
Why did the essay wear glasses? To “see” through the text better.
Why was the essay good at baseball? It had strong points.
Why did the outline break up with the essay? It couldn’t handle the commitment.
Why did the essay enroll in dance class? It wanted to work on its “flow.”
What’s an essay’s favorite exercise? Running paragraphs.
Why did the essay get an “A”? It aced the content.
Why did the bibliophile write an essay? To share his “book”-ish knowledge.
Why was the math essay stressed? Too many problems.
Why did the essay go to the doctor? It had a bad case of “word” flu.
What’s an essay’s favorite time of day? The “conclusion” of it.
Why was the essay never lonely? It had plenty of supporting evidence.
What’s a computer’s favorite type of essay? One with lots of “clickbait.”
Why did the essay break the internet? It had too many “hits.”
Why was the essay a great dancer? It had perfect “footnotes.”
What did the essay say to the pen? “You complete me.”
Why did the essay get in trouble? It had too many “arguments.”
What’s an essay’s favorite dessert? A well-structured “pie”ce.
Why did the essay visit the art gallery? It wanted to brush up on its “strokes” of genius.

Essays Crafted with a Dash of Jollity:

How did the essay know it was in trouble? Its margins were shrinking.
Why was the essay good at gardening? It knew how to cultivate ideas.
What did the essay do at the gym? It worked on its “body” paragraphs.
Why did the essay refuse to play hide and seek? It could never find a good “conclusion.”
What’s an essay’s favorite movie genre? Suspense – it loves building tension!
Why did the essay feel embarrassed? It had a “comma” sense of shame.
What did one essay say to the other during an argument? “Let’s not lose our paragraphs.”
Why did the student bring a ladder to English class? To reach the lofty expectations of the essay.
Why did the essay apply for a visa? It wanted to explore different “sentences.”
Why was the essay always polite? It had impeccable “grammar.”
What’s an essay’s favorite social activity? Going to “sentences” parties.
Why did the essay go on a diet? It had too many “fillers.”
What did the essay do when it was cold? It grabbed a “blanket” statement.
Why did the essay bring a flashlight to the library? To shed light on the topic.
Why was the essay a great swimmer? It had strong “current” arguments.
What did the essay say to the procrastinator? “You’re treading on thin paper.”
Why did the essay bring a map to the writing session? It wanted to navigate its ideas.
What did the essay say at the end of the day? “I think I’ve made my point.”
Why did the essay become a chef? It wanted to “season” its arguments just right.
Why did the essay sit near the computer? It wanted to catch some “screenshots.”
What’s an essay’s favorite game? Connect the “ideas.”
Why was the essay a great public speaker? It had excellent “delivery.”
Why did the essay go to the bank? It wanted to check its “sentences.”
What did the essay say to the dictionary? “You’re my thesaurus-t friend!”
Why was the essay invited to the party? It had a reputation for being “engaging.”
Why did the essay blush? It found itself between two “covers.”
What’s an essay’s favorite weather? “Punny” days!
Why was the essay always at the top of the class? It had a “high” level of intelligence.
What did the essay say to the research paper? “Let’s join forces and cite some sources!”
Why did the essay get in trouble at the zoo? It couldn’t stop “paw”-graphing its ideas.
What did the essay do during the earthquake? It added a little “tremor” to its thesis.
Why was the essay an excellent detective? It always found the “clues” to a compelling argument.
Why did the essay have a great poker face? It could “bluff” its way through any topic.
What’s an essay’s favorite mode of transportation? The “senten-cab” – it gets you where you need to go!
Why did the essay get a promotion? It had outstanding “paragraph-formance.”
What’s an essay’s favorite fruit? Puns – they’re both juicy and delightful!
Why was the essay so popular at parties? It knew how to “hook” the audience.
What did the essay do when it got locked out? It looked for the “key” point.
Why did the essay get a standing ovation? It had impeccable “stance” on the topic.
What did the essay do when it was hungry? It devoured the “bite-sized” arguments.
Why did the essay apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to knead its ideas into shape.
Why was the essay great at telling jokes? It had a strong sense of “pun”manship.
What’s an essay’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Arguments” – where the points spin!

Wit and Wisdom in Essay Jokes:

Why did the essay become an astronaut? It wanted to explore the “cosmic” depths of knowledge.
What did the essay say during a job interview? “I’m here to make a strong ‘impression.'”
Why did the essay start a garden? It wanted to cultivate its “thesis seedlings.”
Why was the essay a fantastic dancer? It had smooth “transitions” between paragraphs.
What’s an essay’s favorite type of coffee? “Espresso” – it gets the ideas flowing fast!
Why did the essay go to the beach? It wanted to “shore up” its arguments.
Why was the essay the life of the party? It always knew how to “compose” itself.
What did the essay say to the joke book? “You’re my ‘witty’ reference!”
Why did the essay take up archery? It wanted to hit the “bull’s-eye” conclusion.
What’s an essay’s favorite accessory? “Quotation marks” – they add style and substance!
Why did the essay become a gardener? It knew how to plant “seeds” of knowledge.
Why was the essay so confident? It had a strong “thesis” of self-assurance.
What did the essay say when it made a typo? “My bad, that was a ‘write’ of passage!”
Why did the essay bring a ladder to the party? To reach the “climax” of the conversation.
Why was the essay a great painter? It knew how to “color” its arguments convincingly.
What’s an essay’s favorite dessert? A “compelling” argument layered with evidence!
Why was the essay always calm during storms? It had a strong “thesis” of inner peace.
Why did the essay become a musician? It loved playing with “notes” and rhythms.
What’s an essay’s favorite dance move? The “conclusion” spin!
Why did the essay become a judge? It had a knack for delivering “sentences.”
Why did the essay become a detective? It excelled at finding “clues” in the text.
What’s an essay’s favorite board game? “Argument”-opoly – where ideas are currency!
Why did the essay throw a party? It wanted to celebrate a well-“structured” argument.
Why did the essay always carry a map? It never wanted to get “lost” in its thoughts.
What’s an essay’s favorite type of comedy? “Wit”-ty humor, of course!
Why did the essay apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to “rise” to the occasion.
Why did the essay go to the art class? It wanted to learn how to “draw” in readers.
Why did the essay become a tour guide? It loved leading readers on a “journey” of ideas.
What’s an essay’s favorite game at the amusement park? The “rollercoaster” of arguments!
Why did the essay go to the spa? It needed to “relax” its tension-filled sentences.
Why did the essay join the comedy club? It wanted to sharpen its “punch”lines.
Why was the essay a great dancer? It had perfect “syntax” on the dance floor.
What’s an essay’s favorite app? The “i-dea” generator, of course!
Why did the essay become a gardener? It knew how to “cultivate” a blooming argument.
Why did the essay apply for a job as a chef? It loved adding flavorful “spices” to its content.
What’s an essay’s favorite winter activity? “Essay”-lting snowballs of creativity!

jokes about august

jokes about pencils

Conclusion:

In the world of academia, where essays often carry the weight of knowledge and analysis, injecting a little humor can go a long way in lightening the load. We hope these essay jokes brought a smile to your face and reminded you that even the most serious tasks can benefit from a touch of laughter.

So the next time you find yourself staring at a blank page, remember these pun-tastic one-liners and let them spark your creativity.

Are these essay jokes suitable for all ages?

Absolutely! These jokes are family-friendly and can be enjoyed by essay enthusiasts of all ages.

Can I use these essay jokes to impress my English teacher?

Certainly! Teachers appreciate creativity and a good sense of humor. Sprinkle these jokes in your assignments to add a dash of fun.

What’s the best way to incorporate these jokes into my essays?

While a little humor can be refreshing, remember to strike a balance. Use jokes sparingly and ensure they align with the overall tone and topic of your essay.

How do I avoid overusing jokes in my writing?

Just like seasoning in cooking, moderation is key. Use humor strategically, focusing on enhancing your content rather than overpowering it.

Can I share these jokes on social media?

Of course! Spread the laughter with your friends and followers. Everyone could use a good chuckle, especially in the midst of essay-writing woe

Essay Jokes

I finally got an a on my essay, professor: what inspired you to write this essay, an essay should be like a skirt., i did an essay on the room., i think i have a fetish for the last paragraph of an essay. how do i know, i wrote an essay on communism, i was asked to submit a 1,000 word essay.., my teacher told me to turn in my essay..., difficult essay exam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My teacher said "Nathan! Turn in your essay!"

A teacher asked her students to write an essay about " what would i do if i were ceo of a company", my chemistry teacher told me i had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid., the professor told me, “you don’t deserve an a for this essay”, apparently they're removing the essay section from the sat, "how long should my essay be", the teacher asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. little johnny got up to read his. it began, "my daddy fell in a well last week." "good grief" the teacher exclaimed. "is he ok" "he must be," said little johnny., a teacher has his students write an essay on, "what is bravery" - one kid's entire essay was:, i did really well on my essay about communism., how does a pirate open an essay, russian kids were writing an essay about their heroes...., i was revising an essay the other day..., my professor made me write a 30 page essay on differentiates an integer from a decimal..., i wrote an essay about american patriotism, did you hear about the guy who was sexually attracted to the end of essays, i accidentally sent my essay to a 3d printer, tom was asked to write an essay about family, i forgot to put the reference in italics on my essay., a 300 page novel with a 50 page introductory essay written by the author walks into a bar., 50% of essays, why do spaniards frequently plagiarize essays, satan was angry because jesus was always so much better on the computer than he was., i fell in love while starting my essay., keith flint failed his english at school. it was a really tough break because his final essay was excellent, how does a pig write an essay, professor gave us a 2000 word essay..., before the mother's day, the teacher gives her class an assignment to write an essay about their mothers., summer essay, i pour maple syrup over my essays, an english teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars., where does chewbacca research his college essays, my professor wanted me to write an essay on existentialism..., my dad told me that colleges are cracking down on ghost-written essays..., i'm pretty sure somebody hid the final paragraph of my essay on the shelf i can't reach, why did the mexican fail his writing class, i just graded a social studies essay on capitalism, i had an important essay on the relation between occam's razor, red herrings and chekhov's gun..., what did the mexican say when his homework flew out the window, i had to write an essay on plagiarism today, kids from around the globe were asked to write an essay..., for school i had to write a thousand word essay, my english teacher got really angry about the format of my essay., what's the most assigned elementary school essay in chicago, i used to get paid to write other students essays in high school., my history teacher is a communist, so i made lots of references to the soviet union in my essay., i wrote an essay once comparing various versions of the bible., i think the professor wants us to skip most of this essay, my religious studies professor assigned an essay about the last days of christ., why was civil disobedience such a good essay, in order to write a good essay about trees.., simple instructions from an english teacher for a great essay., i thought i could finish this philosophy essay..., why are mexicans such prolific writers, my professor called me into his office., so they made the essay optional for the new sat test..., i like my children how i like my essays., why did the criminal get released from prison after he wrote a short essay, need help solving a joke with no punchline, i want to do an essay on chronology and hand it in late..., my professor gave me an f for my essay on late 19th century european history...., there's only one mother., at school the teacher tells the students:, square enix, ubisoft, ea and valve are all in class., steve sees an ad for hiring a music producer., what do you call a long piece of writing about america, why did the blonde college student have sex with a mexican, i'm pretty sure someone stole the last paragraph of my essay, and hid it on a really high shelf..., what do you call a mexican that is only 4’6”, my father is my favorite redditor., a brother and sister, an engineering student is called into the dean’s office…, a college class was asked to write a short story in as few words as possible., the difference between theory & reality., some dick jokes.

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Should You Be Funny In Your College Essay + Examples

What’s Covered:

Why are college essays important, should you be funny in your college essay, tips for adding humor to your college essays, essay examples, how to make sure your humor is effective.

College essays are an important part of your application profile. They humanize you and provide you with the opportunity to prove that you’re an interesting individual beyond your grades and test scores.

Some ways students humanize themselves include reflecting on their values, clueing readers into their backstory, showing off their personalities, or any combination of these.

One question that may come up with regards to showing off your personality is: can I be funny in my college essay?

Read along to hear our expert opinion on the subject and tips for writing a funny essay, the right way. You can also check out a few examples of essays that have successfully included humor to give you a good idea of what’s appropriate for your writing.

To put it simply, college essays are needed because top colleges have lots of qualified candidates and, to get accepted, you need to stand out. It is estimated that, at top schools, there are at least four academically-qualified applicants for every open spot. This means that students hoping to gain admission to top schools must supplement outstanding grades with other outstanding qualities.

Ways to make yourself stand out include extracurriculars, recommendations and interviews, and essays. At the nation’s top schools, reports tell us that these non-academic factors are weighted respectively as accounting for 30%, 10%, and 25% of your overall admissions chances. The fact that essays account for 25% of your admissions chances means that they could be your key to acceptance at your dream school.

If you are interested in the specific factors that determine how important essays are for individual candidates at individual schools, check out this post .

Essays are heavily weighted in the admissions process because they are the only place where admissions officers get to hear directly from you. An individual’s voice says a lot about them—how mature they are, how comfortable they are with their experiences, and even how likable they are. These are important factors for admissions officers who are trying to see how you would fit in on their campus!

The gist of our answer: if your personality is funny, feel free to be funny! As we’ve said, an important opportunity provided to you by the college essay is the opportunity to show your personality. Humor, if done correctly, can be an important part of that.

That said, if you are only attempting humor because you think it is what admissions officers want to hear or because you think it will help you stand out, abandon ship and find a way to shape your essay that is true to your personality. Try writing down how you view your personality or ask friends and family for adjectives that describe your personality, then show that personality through your voice. It will be more natural this way!

Some elements of personality that could define your voice, if humor isn’t for you:

Thoughtful/reflective
Extroverted/social
Charismatic
Clever/witty
Honest/authentic
Considerate
Practical/rational

Additionally, if you cannot follow some basic guidelines (listed below) for how to incorporate humor into your essay, you might want to change your course.

1. Be Appropriate

First things first: be appropriate. Humor is, of course, subjective, but make sure your subject matter would be considered appropriate by absolutely anyone reading it. Think about the most traditional person you know and make sure they would be okay with it. No jokes about sex, drugs, lying, crimes, or anything inappropriate—even if the joke is “obviously” against the inappropriate thing you are mentioning.

2. Don’t Be Overly Informal

You want your essay to position you as mature and intelligent, and the way you control language is a sign of maturity and intellect. That said, lots of humor—particularly the humor of young people and internet humor—are based on informality, intentional grammatical errors, and slang. These types of humor, while arguably funny, should be excluded from college essays!

As you write, remember that you know nothing about your admissions officer. Of course, you do not know their age, race, or gender, but you also don’t know their sense of humor. The last thing you want to do is make a joke with an intentional grammatical error and be perceived as unintelligent or make a joke with slang that confuses your reader and makes them think you don’t have a firm grasp of the English language.

3. Avoid Appearing Disrespectful or Inconsiderate

Humor often involves making fun of someone or something. It is very important that you do not make fun of the wrong things! In the last example, the student made fun of themself and their failed cooking experience. That is totally acceptable.

Things that you should not make fun of:

Other people (particularly those in positions of authority)
Political ideas
Religious ideas
Anything involving ethics, morals, or values

When you make fun of others, you risk sounding cold or unsympathetic. Admissions officers want to admit candidates who are mature and understand that they can never understand the struggles of others. That means you shouldn’t make a cutting joke about your old boss or an unintelligent politician who was running for your city mayor, even if they are the villain in your anecdote.

Similarly, avoid jokes about types of people. Avoid stereotypes in your jokes.

In general, it is hard to write a humorous essay about a controversial subject. Controversial issues are typically issues that require deep thought and conversation, so if you intend to engage with them, you should consider a more reflective approach, or consider integrating reflection with your humor.

Here is an example of a student successfully poking fun at themself with their humor, while alluding to controversy:

My teenage rebellion started at age twelve. Though not yet technically a teenager, I dedicated myself to the cause: I wore tee shirts with bands on them that made my parents cringe, shopped exclusively at stores with eyebrow-pierced employees, and met every comforting idea the world offered me with hostility. Darkness was in my soul! Happiness was a construct meant for sheep! Optimism was for fools! My cynicism was a product of a world that gave birth to the War in Afghanistan around the same time it gave birth to me, that shot and killed my peers in school, that irreversibly melted ice caps and polluted oceans and destroyed forests.

I was angry. I fought with my parents, my peers, and strangers. It was me versus the world.

However, there’s a fundamental flaw in perpetual antagonism: it’s exhausting. My personal relationships suffered as my cynicism turned friends and family into bad guys in my eyes. As I kept up the fight, I found myself always tired, emotionally and physically. The tipping point came one morning standing at the bathroom sink before school.

This student engages with controversial subject matter, but the humorous parts are the parts where she makes fun of herself and her beliefs— “ Darkness was in my soul! Happiness was a construct meant for sheep! Optimism was for fools!” Additionally, the student follows up their humor with reflection: “ However, there’s a fundamental flaw in perpetual antagonism: it’s exhausting. My personal relationships suffered as my cynicism turned friends and family into bad guys in my eyes.”

This student is both funny and mature, witty and reflective, and, above all, a good writer with firm control of language.

4. Don’t Force It

We have already mentioned not to force humor, but we are mentioning it again because it is very important!

Here is an example of a student whose forced humor detracts from the point of their essay:

To say I have always remained in my comfort zone is an understatement. Did I always order chicken fingers and fries at a restaurant? Yup! Sounds like me. Did I always create a color-coded itinerary just for a day trip? Guilty as charged. Did I always carry a first-aid kit at all times? Of course! I would make even an ambulance look unprepared. And yet here I was, choosing 1,000 miles of misery from Las Vegas to Seattle despite every bone in my body telling me not to.

The sunlight blinded my eyes and a wave of nausea swept over me. Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator? It was only ten minutes in, and I was certain that the trip was going to be a disaster. I simply hoped that our pre-drive prayer was not stuck in God’s voicemail box.

As this student attempts to characterize themself as stuck in their ways (to eventually describe how they overcame this desire for comfort), their humor feels gimmicky. They describe their preparedness in a way that comes off as inauthentic. It’s funny to imagine them carrying around a first aid kit everywhere they go, but does the reader believe it? Then, when they write “ Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator? ” they create an image of themself as that goofy, overprepared kit in a sitcom. Sitcom characters don’t feel real and the point of a college essay is to make yourself seem like a real person to admissions officers. Don’t sacrifice your essay to humor.

5. Make Sure Your Humor Is Clear

Humor is subjective, so run your essay by people—lots and lots of people—to see if they are confused, offended, or distracted. Ask people to read your essay for content and see if they mention the humor (positively or negatively), but also specifically ask people what they think about the humor. Peer feedback is always important but becomes particularly useful when attempting a humorous essay.

Essay Example #1

Prompt: Tell us an interesting or amusing story about yourself from your high school years. (350 words)

Cooking is one of those activities at which people are either extremely talented or completely inept. Personally, I’ve found that I fall right in the middle, with neither prodigal nor abhorrent talents. After all, it’s just following instructions, right? Unfortunately, one disastrous night in my kitchen has me questioning that logic.

The task was simple enough: cook a turkey stir fry. In theory, it’s an extremely simple dish. However, almost immediately, things went awry. While I was cutting onions, I absentmindedly rubbed at my eyes and smeared my mascara. (Keep this in mind; it’ll come into play later.) I then proceeded to add the raw turkey to the vegetable pot. Now, as any good chef knows, this means that either the vegetables will burn or the turkey will be raw. I am admittedly not a good chef.

After a taste test, I decided to take a page out of the Spice Girls’ book and “spice up my life”, adding some red chili paste. This was my fatal mistake. The bottle spilled everywhere. Pot, counter, floor, I mean everywhere . While trying to clean up the mess, my hands ended up covered in sauce.

Foolishly, I decided to taste my ruined meal anyway. My tongue felt like it was on fire and I sprinted to the bathroom to rinse my mouth. I looked in the mirror and, noticing the raccoon eyes formed by my mascara, grabbed a tissue. What I had neglected to realize was that chili paste had transferred to the tissue—the tissue which I was using to wipe my eyes. I don’t know if you’ve ever put chili paste anywhere near your eyes, but here’s a word of advice: don’t. Seriously, don’t .

I fumbled blindly for the sink handle, mouth still on fire, eyes burning, presumably looking like a character out of a Tim Burton film. After I rinsed my face, I sat down and stared at my bowl of still-too-spicy and probably-somewhat-raw stir fry, wondering what ancient god had decided to take their anger out on me that night, and hoping I would never incur their wrath ever again.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay is an excellent example of how to successfully execute humor. The student’s informal tone helps to bridge the gap between them and the reader, making us feel like we are sitting across the table from them and laughing along. Speaking directly to the reader in sentences like, “ Keep this in mind; it’ll come into play later, ” and “ I don’t know if you’ve ever put chili paste anywhere near your eyes, but here’s a word of advice: don’t. Seriously, don’t,” is a great tactic to downplay the formality of the essay.

The student’s humor comes through phrases like “ Now, as any good chef knows, this means that either the vegetables will burn or the turkey will be raw. I am admittedly not a good chef.” As this student plays on the common structure of “As any good (insert profession here) knows,” then subverts expectations, they make an easy-to-understand, casual but not flippant joke.

Similarly, the sentence “ I decided to take a page out of the Spice Girls’ book ,” reads in a light-hearted, funny tone. And, importantly, even if a reader had no idea who the Spice Girls were, they would recognize this as a pop-culture joke and would not be confused or lost in any way. The phrase “ raccoon eyes” is another humorous inclusion—even if the reader doesn’t know what it’s like to rub their eyes while wearing mascara they can picture the rings around a raccoon and imagine the spectacle.

As you can see from this essay, humor works well when you engage universal and inoffensive concepts in ways that are casual enough to be funny, but still comprehensible.

Essay Example #2

Prompt: Due to a series of clerical errors, there is exactly one typo (an extra letter, a removed letter, or an altered letter) in the name of every department at the University of Chicago. Oops! Describe your new intended major. Why are you interested in it and what courses or areas of focus within it might you want to explore? Potential options include Commuter Science, Bromance Languages and Literatures, Pundamentals: Issues and Texts, Ant History… a full list of unmodified majors ready for your editor’s eye is available here. —Inspired by Josh Kaufman, AB’18

When I shared the video of me eating fried insects in Thailand, my friends were seriously offended. Some stopped talking to me, while the rest thought I had lost my mind and recommended me the names of a few psychologists.

A major in Gastrophysics at UChicago is not for the faint hearted. You have to have a stomach for it! I do hope I am accepted to it as it is the only University in the U.S. with this unique major. My passion for trying unique food such as fish eye has made me want to understand the complexities of how it affects our digestive system. I understand that Gastrophysics started with a big pang of food, which quickly expanded to famish. Bite years are used to measure the amount of food ingested. I look forward to asking, “How many bite years can the stomach hold?” and “How do different enzymes react with the farticles?”

Gastrophysics truly unravels the physics of food. At UChicago I will understand the intricacies of what time to eat, how to eat and how food will be digested. Do we need to take antiparticle acid if we feel acidity is becoming a matter of concern? At what angle should the mouth be, for the best possible tasting experience? When I tried crocodile meat, I found that at a 0 degree tilt, it tasted like fish and chicken at the same time. But the same tasted more like fish at a negative angle and like chicken at a positive angle. I want to unravel these mysteries in a class by Professor Daniel Holz in gravitational gastrophysics, understanding the unseen strong and weak forces at play which attract food to our stomachs.

I find that Gastrophysics is also important for fastronomy. I want to learn the physics of fasting. How should we fast? Hubble bubble is a good chewing gum; an appetite suppressant in case you feel pangs of hunger. I have read how the UChicago Fastronauts are stepping up to test uncharted territories. Intermittent fasting is a new method being researched, and UChicago offers the opportunity for furthering this research. Which is better: fasting for 16 hours and eating for 8, or fasting for 24 hours twice a week? It is just one of the problems that UChicago offers a chance to solve.

I can also study the new branch it offers that uses farticle physics. It is the science of tracking farticles and how they interact with each other and chemicals in the stomach space. It could give rise to supernovae explosions, turning people into gas giants. It would also teach about the best ways to expel gas and clean the system and prevent stomach space expansion.

I want to take Fluid dynamics 101, another important course in Gastrophysics; teaching about the importance of water and other fluids in the body, and the most important question: what happens if you try to drink superfluids?

I hope to do interdisciplinary courses with observational gastrophysicists and work with environmental science majors to track how much methane is given by the human and animal gastrointestinal tract in the atmosphere and how much it contributes to the global climate change. I believe, with the help of courses in date science, they have been able to keep a track of how much methane is entering each day, and they found that during Dec 24-Jan 3 period, a spike in the methane and ethane levels could be seen. Accordingly, algorithms are being programmed to predict the changes all year round. I would love to use my strong mathematical background to explore these algorithms.

These courses are specially designed by the distinguished faculty of UChicago. Doing interdisciplinary research in collaboration with biological science students to determine what aliens may eat, with fart historians to know more about the intestinal structure of medieval Italians, Japanese, Chinese, Swedish and French people to better their lives is what I look forward to. The Paris study abroad program is an immersion course into fastronomy, where I will have the opportunity to test my self-control with all the amazing French food and desserts around!

My stomach rumbles now, so I am going out to try out new food – hopefully it will be in Chicago a few months later.

This is a fun essay! This student’s voice is present and their goofy personality is especially evident. Not only did they change the name of their major, but this student incorporated word play throughout the essay to showcase their imagination. Phrases like “ the big pang of food ”, “ bite years ”, “ fastronauts ”, and “ farticle physics ” keep the tone lighthearted and amusing.

Incorporating this style of humor takes a lot of creativity to be able to still convey your main idea while also earning a chuckle from your readers. While some jokes are a bit more low-brow—” farticles ” or “ fart historians ” for example—they are balanced out by some that are more clever and require a bit of thinking to get the A-ha moment (referencing the Hubble telescope as “ Hubble bubble chewing gum “). You might not feel comfortable including less sophisticated jokes in your essay at all, but if you do want to go down that path, having more intellectual sources of humor is important to provide balance.

Another positive of the essay is the continued thread of humor throughout. Sometimes humor is used as a tool in the introduction and abandoned in favor of practical information about the student. This essay manages to tell us about the student and their interests without sacrificing the laugh factor. Weaving humor throughout the essay like this makes the humor feel more genuine and helps us better understand this student’s personality.

Essay Example #3

Prompt: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (650 words)

Scalding hot water cascades over me, crashing to the ground in a familiar, soothing rhythm. Steam rises to the ceiling as dried sweat and soap suds swirl down the drain. The water hisses as it hits my skin, far above the safe temperature for a shower. The pressure is perfect on my tired muscles, easing the aches and bruises from a rough bout of sparring and the tension from a long, stressful day. The noise from my overactive mind dies away, fading into music, lyrics floating through my head. Black streaks stripe the inside of my left arm, remnants of the penned reminders of homework, money owed and forms due.

It lacks the same dynamism and controlled intensity of sparring on the mat at taekwondo or the warm tenderness of a tight hug from my father, but it’s still a cocoon of safety as the water washes away the day’s burdens. As long as the hot water is running, the rest of the world ceases to exist, shrinking to me, myself and I. The shower curtain closes me off from the hectic world spinning around me.

Much like the baths of Blanche DuBois, my hot showers are a means of cleansing and purifying (though I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me). In the midst of a hot shower, there is no impending exam to study for, no newspaper deadline to meet, no paycheck to deposit. It is simply complete and utter peace, a safe haven. The steam clears my mind even as it clouds my mirror.

Creativity thrives in the tub, breathing life into tales of dragons and warrior princesses that evolve only in my head, never making their way to paper but appeasing the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me all the same. That one calculus problem that has seemed unsolvable since second period clicks into place as I realize the obvious solution. The perfect concluding sentence to my literary analysis essay writes itself (causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely).

Ever since I was old enough to start taking showers unaided, I began hogging all the hot water in the house, a source of great frustration to my parents. Many of my early showers were rudely cut short by an unholy banging on the bathroom door and an order to “stop wasting water and come eat dinner before it gets cold.” After a decade of trudging up the stairs every evening to put an end to my water-wasting, my parents finally gave in, leaving me to my (expensive) showers. I imagine someday, when paying the water bill is in my hands, my showers will be shorter, but today is not that day (nor, hopefully, will the next four years be that day).

Showers are better than any ibuprofen, the perfect panacea for life’s daily ailments. Headaches magically disappear as long as the water runs, though they typically return in full force afterward. The runny nose and itchy eyes courtesy of summertime allergies recede. Showers alleviate even the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control.

Honestly though, the best part about a hot shower is neither its medicinal abilities nor its blissful temporary isolation or even the heavenly warmth seeped deep into my bones. The best part is that these little moments of pure, uninhibited contentedness are a daily occurrence. No matter how stressful the day, showers ensure I always have something to look forward to. They are small moments, true, but important nonetheless, because it is the little things in life that matter; the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy. Wherever I am in the world, whatever fate chooses to throw at me, I know I can always find my peace at the end of the day behind the shower curtain.

While the humor in this essay isn’t as direct as the others, the subtle inclusion of little phrases in parentheses throughout the essay bring some comedy without feeling overbearing.

The contrast of elegant and posh Blanche DuBois and “ germs from children at work sneezing on me ” paints an ironic picture that you can’t help but laugh at. The ability to describe universal experiences also brings a level of humor to the essay. For example, the reader might laugh at the line, “ abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely,” because it brings to mind moments when they have done the same.

This student also achieves a humorous tone by poking fun at themselves. Admitting that they were “ hogging all the hot water, ” leading to “ (expensive) showers, ” as well as describing their stomachache as a “ guacamole-induced lack of self-control, ” keeps the tone casual and easy-going. Everybody has their flaws, and in this case long showers and guacamole are the downfall of this student.

While the tips and tricks we’ve given you will be extremely helpful when writing, it’s often not that simple. Feedback is ultimately any writer’s best source of improvement—especially when it comes to an element like humor which, naturally, can be hit-or-miss!

To get your college essay edited for free, use our Peer Review Essay Tool . With this tool, other students can tell you if your humor is effective/appropriate and help you improve your essay so that you can have the best chances of admission to your dream schools.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

College Jokes – Lighten Your Academic Load

18 March 2024

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By Delaney Jameson

Diving into the world of college jokes, we peel back the layers of the quintessential college experience, marked by a blend of academic challenges, social escapades, and the unforgettable journey of self-discovery.

But, amidst the cram sessions and caffeine binges, what truly lightens the load? A good, hearty laugh. Why do calculus exams and liberal arts students become the center of jest?

It’s in these shared moments of humor that we find common ground, a release from the pressure cooker of grades and deadlines.

Ready to crack a smile? Let’s explore how laughter becomes our universal language in the college saga.

Best College Jokes

Why did the music major take a ladder to college? To reach the high notes.

Math majors throw the best parties. They know how to count on a good time.

Psychology students never procrastinate. They just analyze why they haven’t started.

Art students always clean up nicely. They know a thing or two about shading.

Why are computer science students great at essays? Because they can’t resist a good byte.

Engineering students love their projects. It’s a concrete relationship.

History majors are always on time. They hate repeating themselves.

Why did the plant biology student break up with the math major? They had too many problems.

Physics majors are terrible at hide and seek. They always find the momentum.

Chemistry students have strong bonds. They stick together through thick and thin.

Why do English majors have a way with words? They always know the write thing to say.

Business majors are great at parties. They add value to every conversation.

Philosophy students are always lost in thought. They wonder why they’re not wondering.

Why don’t literature students get lost? They always follow the plot.

Sociology majors are great listeners. They’re all about understanding your position.

Environmental science students are always grounded. They keep it real.

Why do linguistics students excel at languages? They know how to talk the talk.

Political science majors love debates. They always stand their ground.

Why did the astronomy major miss the exam? They were spaced out.

Anthropology students dig their field. They love getting into the dirt of it.

Economics students are all about efficiency. They maximize fun while minimizing effort.

Why did the philosophy major cross the road? To question why.

Communications majors are never alone. They always get the message.

Theater majors are never fake. They’re just in character.

Why do art historians make great detectives? They notice the little details.

Biology majors have a natural curiosity. They’re always exploring.

Nutrition majors bring snacks. They know the importance of feeding the brain.

Why do geology students rock? They know the earth like the back of their hand.

Sports science majors are always moving. They live life on the run.

Why are nursing students so calm? They’ve got patience.

Education majors have the best stories. They’re all about learning from experience.

Fashion design students are never underdressed. They stitch together the perfect outfit.

Why did the medieval studies major get lost? They took a wrong turn at the Middle Ages.

Film students have great vision. They see the big picture.

Why do marine biology students dive deep into their studies? They’re immersed in their work.

Architecture students build their dreams. They start from the ground up.

Dance majors have the best moves. They’re always stepping up.

Why are journalism students always informed? They keep up with the times.

International relations majors have a world of knowledge. They’re globally aware.

Veterinary science students are animal lovers. They’ve got a lot of pet projects.

Funniest College Jokes

Why did the textbook go to therapy? It had too many problems.

Roommate asks, “Are you taking notes wrong?” You reply, “No, I’m taking them write.”

What’s a college student’s favorite type of tree? The exam tree, because it has so many leaves.

How can you spot a freshman? By their brand new textbooks and the hope in their eyes.

Coffee to a college student is like a report card. It’s better when it’s full of Es.

Why don’t college students get knocked down easily? Because they’re always on a balanced diet of ramen and caffeine.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Due. Due who? Due tomorrow, do tomorrow.

Professors like to tell students, “Time is precious.” Students reply, “So is sleep.”

A pen and a pencil had a race. The pencil had a point to prove, but the pen was ink-redible.

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the professor said it was a piece of cake.

“How do you handle stress?” “I don’t. We’re on a first-name basis now.”

What’s a college student’s favorite season? Football season, because finally, something scores more than they do.

Why are college students like old library books? They both have too many issues.

What do you call an A in college? A myth.

Lectures are like ancient spells. Both put people to sleep.

“Did you finish the reading?” “Yes, the title.”

A student emails a professor: “Sorry for the late submission, my dog ate my laptop.”

What’s a college student’s idea of a balanced meal? A coffee in each hand.

Finals week is the college version of the Hunger Games. May the curves be ever in your favor.

Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems no one could solve.

Campus squirrels are just students who’ve aced their transformation spells.

“I’ve got so much to do tonight.” “So, we’re napping or procrastinating?”

A study group is where everyone comes together to confirm they know nothing.

Why do college students never clean their rooms? They’re afraid they’ll find a missing textbook under the mess.

“What’s your major?” “Undecided.” “Oh, so, you’re majoring in confusion?”

Assignments are like laundry. They pile up until you can’t ignore them anymore.

Why did the music major get locked out of their dorm? Because they couldn’t find the right key.

What do you call a group of singing college students? A debt choir.

“What did you learn in college?” “The art of referencing Wikipedia without getting caught.”

Finals are like horror movies. You know something bad is about to happen, but you can’t look away.

College Dad Jokes

“Studying history is fun!” said no one ever after pulling an all-nighter.

Calculus class is where dreams go to lie, I mean, lie in a curve.

Heard the joke about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.

“Majoring in philosophy? So, your career will be thinking about jobs?”

Why did the scarecrow go to college? He wanted to be outstanding in his field.

“I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

Have you tried eating a clock? It’s very time-consuming, especially during finals.

“Don’t trust atoms; they make up everything!” Like my excuses for late assignments.

Why did the computer take its shoes off? To reboot.

“Son, if you don’t ace your test on electricity, remember, there’s no charge for retesting!”

“Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.” Wait, didn’t I already use this one?

Biology is the only science where multiplication is the same as division. Welcome to cell division 101.

“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad. Welcome to college; it’s a permanent state.”

“Why did the student throw his watch out the window? He wanted to see time fly during the lecture.”

“Did I tell you I’m reading a book on helium? I can’t put it down!”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.” Kind of like me with midterms.

“If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!” Chemistry jokes 101.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. Just like half my essays.

“Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.” Just like my thesis.

“I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.” College has me questioning more than just letters.

“Why don’t we ever tell secrets on campus? Because we can’t trust the walls. They have ears and ivy.”

“You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.” Including my mounting assignments.

“How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.” That’s also how I do my theology homework.

“Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!” Like how I’m barely holding up my grades.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. Like me during finals week.

“Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.” Just like my roommate and me at 2 a.m.

“I would tell you a joke about an unfinished book, but it’s missing a few pages.” Like my term paper.

“Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired.” Just like me, every day.

“I’ve got a great joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.” Timing is everything, in comedy and exams.

“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!” Like how I feel during presentations.

College Exam Jokes

Exams are like laundry. They pile up unnoticed until it’s too late.

Why do we never play hide and seek with exams? Because good luck hiding when they find you every time.

“I was going to study for my exam, but then I remembered, diamonds are made under pressure.”

How do exams keep their figure? They always have a lot of questions on their plate.

“Do I believe in love at first sight? Absolutely. I fall in love with every answer choice I see.”

Why was the exam booklet nervous? It was about to be tested.

What’s an exam’s favorite type of music? The blues, because that’s what it gives everyone.

“I don’t always calculate my grades, but when I do, I prefer not to.”

Exams are like vampires. They drain you of your will to live.

“How’s your exam prep going?” “On a scale from 1 to 10, I’m at ‘what’s the due date?'”

Why don’t exams apologize? Because they always think they’re right.

If exams were pets, they’d be cats. Ignoring you until they want something, then suddenly all over you.

“Studying for finals is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire.”

How do you describe an exam in three words? “What was that?”

Exams have a great sense of humor. They’re always testing me.

“Why did the student bring a ladder to the exam?” “To reach the top marks!”

Why are exams like art? They’re both open to interpretation.

“What’s the best way to study for an exam?” “By osmosis. Hopefully, the book will leak into my brain.”

Exams are like old friends. They always come back to haunt you.

“I’m not saying I’m going to fail… But there’s a reason my plan B includes circus school.”

If exams had a motto, it’d be: “Bringing students together since forever. To cry.”

Why are exams optimistic? Because they believe every student has potential. To fail.

“I studied for my exam by candlelight. Wanted to feel enlightened.”

Exams are like a bad date. You spend a lot of time preparing, and it’s over before you know it.

“During my exam, I felt like Picasso. I had no idea what I was doing.”

Why do exams ask for essays? They love a good story.

“My favorite exercise during exams? Running out of time.”

Exams are like fortune tellers. They predict a lot of sleepless nights.

“Why do I always study at the last minute?” “Because it’s the only minute that matters.”

If exams were a movie, they’d be a horror film. Plot twist: The syllabus was the villain all along.

College Admissions Jokes

Why was the admissions essay nervous? It was about to be judged.

Admissions officers must love Halloween. They see thousands of ghostwriters!

“Applied to college as a joke. Now the joke’s on me. I got in.”

What’s an application’s favorite game? Guess who’s getting accepted!

College applications are like pizza. Everyone wants a piece of you.

“Why did the application go to therapy?” “It had too many issues.”

How are college essays like magic? They disappear as soon as you hit submit.

“I treat my college applications like my diet. Procrastinate now, panic later.”

Why are admissions officers great at poker? They never reveal their hand.

What’s scarier than submitting your college application? Waiting for a reply.

College applications ask for your achievements. So, Netflix marathons don’t count?

“Told my computer I was applying to college. Now it’s frozen with fear.”

“How do you make your application stand out?” “Use glitter. Lots of it.”

College essays are like selfies. You take 100, only one looks good.

Why did the application blush? It saw the admissions officer’s criteria.

“I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed. That’s going on my application.”

Admissions decisions are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.

“Why did the skeleton apply to college?” “To increase its bone knowledge.”

College applications: where “additional comments” means “confess everything.”

“My application’s extracurriculars? Mastering the art of being broke.”

Why are admissions essays tough? They’re full of ‘character’ limits.

“Applying to college is like a sport. Except the only exercise is typing.”

Why did the application go to the party? To get accepted.

“What’s your admissions strategy?” “Pray to the Wi-Fi gods during submission.”

Admissions officers are like dentists. They make you wait and wonder what they’ll say next.

“Why are college applications like cats?” “They demand your attention, then ignore you.”

College applications are the only time begging in 650 words or less is a skill.

“How do you survive admissions season?” “With lots of chocolate and even more hope.”

College applications are like lottery tickets. You invest a lot, hoping for a big return.

“Why did the admission letter go to school?” “It wanted to be outstanding in its field.”

5th year College Jokes

“Graduating in four years is like leaving the party at 9 pm. Why miss the fun?”

Professors see me and think, “Didn’t I already teach your younger sibling?”

Fifth year means you’re on a first-name basis with the campus squirrels.

“My major? It’s a mix of ‘still deciding’ and ‘surprise me’.”

“I’ve been here so long, freshmen ask me for historical tours.”

“Year five: when ‘super senior’ sounds better than ‘still here’.”

“Thought about changing my major to archaeology. I’m good at digging myself deeper.”

“I’m not old. I’m just academically experienced.”

“My college career? It’s a trilogy. No, wait, a saga.”

“Fifth year’s the charm!” Said no one, ever. Yet here we are.

“Picked up a minor in library science. By accident. From being there so much.”

“In my fifth year, I finally learned the campus layout. Time to graduate?”

“Why graduate when you can become part of the faculty unofficially?”

“I’ve been here so long, I’m starting to look like the statues.”

“Fifth-year fashion? Anything from the lost and found. It’s vintage.”

“I’ve seen enough freshmen to start my own study on youth culture.”

“Considering a career as a professional student. Seems I have the experience.”

“Got my tenure as a student before some professors.”

“Why rush graduation? It’s not like adulthood is going anywhere.”

“Do I get a loyalty card for the cafeteria after five years?”

“Year five means I’m on the syllabus as a guest lecturer, right?”

“I’m not behind; I’m just pacing myself differently.”

“Fifth year is when you start giving campus tours. Unofficially, of course.”

“They said college flies by. Guess my clock’s broken.”

“In year five, my coffee loyalty card earns me a free degree, right?”

“I should have a reserved parking spot by now.”

“At this point, my student ID photo is a throwback.”

“Think of the fifth year as a victory lap. Very slow victory lap.”

“By your fifth year, ‘all-nighter’ just means sleeping through the night.”

“I’ve taken ‘lifelong learning’ to a whole new level.”

Freshman College Jokes

Freshman motto: “I’m not lost, I’m exploring.”

“Why do freshmen always travel in groups? Because they’re told to stick to the buddy system.”

First day of college: buys all the books. Second day: wonders if return policies apply to homework.

“How do you spot a freshman?” “They still have the energy to raise their hand in class.”

“I asked a freshman for directions, and we both got lost.”

“Freshmen are like Wi-Fi signals, strongest during orientation.”

“Why are freshmen like smartphones? They light up for no reason and die too quickly.”

First exam reality: studying five minutes, complaining on social media for five hours.

“A freshman’s diet: 50% ramen, 50% hope.”

“Why did the freshman sit on the watch?” “To be on time for class!”

“Freshmen think ‘study group’ means ‘let’s meet and panic together.'”

“I told a freshman to break a leg during their presentation. Now there’s an ambulance outside.”

“Freshmen look at the syllabus like it’s a letter from Hogwarts.”

“Why do freshmen always carry a map? Because ‘X marks the spot’ doesn’t work in the library.”

“Asked a freshman for a pen. They gave me a quill.”

“Why are freshman dorms like antique shops? Full of things you don’t need but buy anyway.”

Laundry day for freshmen: discovering new shades of pink they never knew existed.

“Why do freshmen take showers in pairs?” “One to read the instructions on the shampoo bottle.”

“A freshman’s idea of a balanced meal: two types of cereal mixed together.”

“Why did the freshman bring a ladder to the library?” “Heard the grades were high.”

“Freshmen treat the ‘free printing’ like a limited-time offer.”

“Why do freshmen walk in groups?” “Their survival instincts tell them there’s safety in numbers.”

“Told a freshman the elevator was broken. They waited for it to get fixed.”

“Why do freshmen stare at the microwave?” “They’re used to instant gratification.”

“A freshman’s major changes more often than their laundry.”

“Why are freshmen like squirrels?” “They collect books they’ll never read.”

“Freshman year is when ‘group project’ means ‘solo mission with spectators.'”

“Why do freshmen bring a surfboard to their first lecture?” “Heard there was a wave of tests coming.”

“Told a freshman to find their class in the west wing. They brought a compass.”

“Why do freshmen look scared in the cafeteria?” “They’ve heard the legends of Mystery Meat Mondays.”

Delaney Jameson Author at inspiremymantra

I’m Delaney Jameson, the soul behind inspiremymantra.com! As a healing expert, writer, and self-growth enthusiast, I’ve made it my mission to share my passion for affirmations and personal transformation with the world.

Through life’s ups and downs, I’ve discovered the power of healing and self-discovery. With every challenge, I’ve grown stronger, wiser, and more connected to my authentic self. This journey led me to create inspiremymantra.com, a space where I can share the lessons, love, and light that have transformed my life.

Join me as we explore the magic of affirmations, embrace self-improvement, and create the lives we’ve always dreamed of – one mantra at a time. Let’s grow together and unleash our full potential!

Millennial Jokes – Humor for Digital Natives

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How To Write: The Humorous Essay, for College Applications

There are all sorts of different essays that you can write for your college applications. The intellectual essay. The identity story. The tale of the underdog. Cardinal Education is here with a series on the different types of angles you’ll want to take in your writing. We’ll start with one of the most fun to write, yet one of the hardest to truly pull off: the humorous essay.

So, What Makes “Funny” Funny For College Admissions Officers?

There’s no doubt that funny essays can be wildly successful with admissions officers. The college application is all about showing off your personality, and what better way to show your personality off than by demonstrating that you know how to make a joke? Obviously, though, if you want to write a funny essay, it has to be funny. Here are our thoughts on how to achieve that.

Humor is so diverse and complex that there’s really no one way to define it. There’s self-deprecating humor, there’s slapstick humor, there’s wordplay, there’s satire, and more . Many will say that there’s no one formula to make something hilarious and that everyone has to find a way to be funny by themselves. While this is true to some extent, these are a few things that different styles of humor have in common:

Humor relies on the unexpected. This is the first thing that many will tell you in a how-to-be-funny guide: you can get your biggest laughs out of surprise twists and turns. Lead your audience to believe one thing will happen, then crack a joke about how the opposite actually occurred. Tell them how you expected a certain outcome, but something else happened and you couldn’t help but laugh. Or make a list where one of the items is not like the others. For example, things you learned while nature researching up North: the importance of biodiversity, the ability to work on a team, and…never leaving the house without an extra pair of socks. Think beyond simply telling a story to all the surprising things that happened along the way.

Humor is all about setup and delivery. Every punchline has a setup, and you’ll want to structure your narrative to set up for all the remarks you’re going to pepper through your piece. You don’t want to turn the whole thing into a joke after joke because then each one you write has less impact; instead, spend some time narrating the setups to your best punchlines in a way that makes them as—well—punchy as possible. Yet it’s not as though these narrations should be completely unfunny themselves. Think about the tone you’re trying to set, bring it ahead, and then yank the expectations right from under your readers’ feet.

Humor makes witty observations on the commonplace. This is part of the fact that it relies on the unexpected—it finds something new, fresh, and snappy to say about everyday things, from farming to fishing to the embarrassing moments that inevitably make up our lives. Poke some gentle fun at commonplace expectations and situations; stand-up comedians are experts at this. If you’re the type of person who can see something special in the mundane, admissions officers are sure to appreciate it.

Good humor punches up, rather than punching down. What is meant by this is that humor makes fun of those who are in a position of great power in society, rather than people who have relatively little power. You can joke about CEOs—that’s called satire—but not about janitors; that’s called classism. And you certainly can’t make jokes at the expense of students at your school that you don’t like—that’s called bullying. As you craft your essay, make sure to keep this in mind.

The Best Humor for College Essays Has a Point

Now you have a few pointers on how to write funny. You probably also have a few jokes in mind about your experiences. Once you start writing out what you’ve envisioned in your head, you then need to ask yourself: what is the overall point you’re trying to make?

This is the sort of thing that makes a lot of comedy great—it’s ultimately aimed at saying something deeper about society and about the way we do things. It would be good to learn from such comedy about how to tie your humor back to a deeper meaning behind it. Use your sense of humor to expose personal truths about what you’ve learned throughout the story of your journey. Use it to show admissions officers that you’re truly a better person, more ready for adulthood because of what you’ve discovered. If you can leave them in stitches while also leaving them with a profound takeaway, the beautiful picture you’ve created of yourself will be complete.

One Last Word of Advice: Don’t Force It

If you find yourself struggling too hard to write any of this, trying to force out jokes, then maybe the humorous essay is not your style. This essay can be a favorite at the admissions table if done right, but potentially disastrous if it’s not. Perhaps you’re not a natural comedian, and that’s perfectly fine. What matters most is that your essay reflects who you are on the page; maybe in our next installment of the How To series, you’ll find what’s best for you!

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68 College Jokes That Prove Higher Learning Is Hilarious

You don’t have to have a college degree to find higher learning hilarious. There’s something universally relatable (and comical) about college students, dorm life, and everything else that’s wrapped up in getting an undergrad education. You’ve got your eccentric teachers . Everyone’s on a Ramen noodle diet . Students go to school in their PJs. The colleges jokes basically write themselves, don’t you think? And hey, it’s healthy to be able to laugh about it after the fact. Otherwise, your student loans might reduce you to tears.

RELATED: These College Supplies Are So Genius, You May Just Want Them For Yourself

So, if you are a college grad yourself, the following 60+ jokes and puns will probably make you look back on your college years and laugh your head off.

How do you know that you have been in college too long?

Your parents are running out of money!

Why did the sun skip college?

It already has a million degrees.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?

Scholar-ships.

College student: Hey, Dad — I’ve got some great news for you!

Father: What, son? College student: Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean’s list? Father: I certainly do. College student: Well, you get to keep it!

Professor: Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?

Because they keep breaking out!

A new student at Harvard stopped an upperclassman and asked, “Where’s the library at?”

The upperclassman said, “Never end a sentence with a preposition. Cops do it on TV, but it isn’t proper, so to speak.” The new student said, “Pardon me. Where’s the library at, MORON?”

A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: “Have you read Marx?” The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.”
What do you call hiking U.S. college students?

The walking debt.

My local college has a program that lets students earn their tuition by working in the on-campus bakery.

The opportunity isn’t open to everyone. It’s run on a strictly knead-to-know basis.

I think college athletes should get paid to play sports .

Except Tennessee. They’re Volunteers.

When I told my family I graduated from clown college…

They all laughed at me.

Employer: Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.

Potential employee: I never went to college. Employer: Oh, sorry. Unfortunately, you’re not qualified to work here.

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans.

The first says, “I’m planning on going into farming. It’s what my father did and it makes good money.” The second asks, “What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?” “I don’t know, man; there are so many fields to choose from,” the third responds.

A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine, and minored in taxidermy. “Either way you’re getting your dog back,” he says.
What is a Gen Z’ers favorite college?
What do you call a test tube with a college degree?

A graduated cylinder.

My wife was disappointed to find out the real reason why my nickname in college was “The Love Machine.”

It’s because I sucked at tennis.

In college, I was so broke I couldn’t pay the electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of my life.

My old girlfriend wanted me to do her college algebra homework for her.

But frankly, I didn’t want to solve for ex.

A college professor was very worried about his recent study on earthquakes.

It turns out his findings were on shaky ground.

My dad told me that colleges are cracking down on ghost-written essays?

I asked, “What about mummy-written essays?”

Why did the music note drop out of college?

Because it couldn’t pick a major.

What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college?

“You’re the man of the house now.”

The dean of a college told the auditorium, “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?” At this, a student in the crowd raised their hand and asked, “Er… how much for a season pass?”
How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb ?

Only one, but it may take them more than five years to do it.

An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school . “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?”

“Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”

All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done. One night Grady heard a noise under his bed. Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and whispered, “Anybody there?”

“No,” said the burglar. “That’s funny,” the boy said to himself. “I could have sworn I heard a noise!”

A young man was putting himself through college as a waiter. When he gave one diner the bill, the diner asked, “What is the usual tip?”

“Well, this is my first day here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great,” the college student replied. “Is that so?” snorted the diner. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks!” replied the student. “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying?” asked the diner. The student smiled and said, “Applied psychology.”

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper, there was a single line that simply said, “Is this a question? — Discuss.”

After a short time, he wrote, “If that is a question, then this is an answer.” The student received an “A” on the exam.

One day a college professor, after getting irritated in his college class, stands up in front of the class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot and, if there is one, then they should stand up.

After a minute, a young man stands up. The professor then asks that guy if he actually thinks he is an idiot. The boy replied, “No, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”

What is the definition of an optimist?

A college student who opens his wallet and expects to find money.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.

“In English, a double negative forms a positive,” he said. “In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language where a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room said, “Yeah, right.”

How did the fraternity brother get a bump on his head?

He was attempting a keg stand.

A professor has a classroom filled with students about to take a philosophy finale. The only question on the test is, “Why?” All of the students begin to write feverishly. One student, however, writes, “Why not?” and leaves. The professor instantly give him an “A.”
What is the best way to save money during college?

Use Happy Hour as your main dining option.

Two parents were talking one day and asked the other what their son was taking in college. The one replied, “He’s taking every penny I have!”
Astronomy professor: What causes a half-moon?

College student: When you can’t get your jeans over your thighs.

What’s the difference between an American student and an English student?

About 3,000 miles.

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien?

Something from another universe-ity.

Chemistry professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?

Student: No. Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not? Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn’t put it in.

In a way, colleges and insane asylums are both mental institutions. The major difference being you have to show some improvement to “graduate” an asylum.
A student comes back to the dorm & finds his roommate near tears.

“What’s the matter, pal?” he asked. “I wrote home for my parents to send money so that I could buy a laptop, and they sent me the laptop,” he moaned.

A father, passing through the son’s college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second-floor window.

“Whattya want?” “Does Jimmy Duncan live here?” asked the father. “Yeah!” replied the voice. “Dump him on the front porch and we’ll take care of him in the morning.”

“How’s your song doing? Is he one of the bright young men in this area that is going to college on a scholarship?”

“No. He’s going to college on a second mortgage.”

A woman called the dean of the college that her freshman son was going to.

“I’m worried. I don’t know who my son can hang out with. He doesn’t have the kind of money all the other students have.” The dean replied, “Well then, he can hang out with the faculty.”

What did the music thief do in college?

Take notes.

What do you call a hotdog in college?

A FRAT-wurst.

What do cats major in college?

String theory!

50. How many fraternity brothers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That’s what pledges are for.

51. I want to reenact a scene from Fifty Shades of Grey . You know the one where she gets a job straight out of college?

52. High school graduates: You’ve just sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time you pay for it?

53. When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room and I used to clean hers.

We were maid for each other.

54. What form of art is very popular among college kids?

Ramen doodles.

55. My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number.

I wonder what he’s up to now.

56. In college, I lived on a houseboat and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually, we drifted apart.

57. Thank you, student loans, for getting me through college.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.

58. I can’t remember what I majored in at college.

I skipped classes to some degree.

59. In 2020, I’m finally making use of my college degree. What was it?

Mask communications.

60. I was so broke in college that I sometimes had to choose between laundry detergent and breakfast.

It was All or muffin.

61. Why do sorority girls walk in groups of three or five?

Because they ‘can’t even!

62. As a college girl, I never understood the whole Sorority thing

It’s all Greek to me.

63. I decided to surprise my parents by visiting from college unannounced — only to find out they’d taken a vacation and not left the keys behind. Not a problem, though, all I have to do is talk to the door lock.

They always told me “communication is the key.”

64. My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number.

I wonder what he is up to now.

65. What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college

66. I’ve been friends with a small group of fellow chemistry majors since college.

I guess you could say we developed strong bonds.

67. Why do encyclopedias make such bad neighbors?

They have so many volumes.

68. What did the fashion design student have to do when she missed her final exam?

Take a makeup exam.

This article was originally published on November 19, 2019

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36 Hilarious Posts That'll Make You Roll With Laughter If You've Ever Been A College Student

"College is a constant battle of should I work out, eat, study, socialize, or cry."

BuzzFeed Contributor

If you've ever felt like you were selling your soul for textbooks or cramming for that final exam, you know just how hard college can be.

While the years of studying, term papers, and classes may feel strenuous, it all pays off in the end once you finally graduate with that degree you worked so hard for.

What's your favorite college-inspired joke or meme? Share yours in the comments!

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Funny Personal Statements: How to Use Humor in Your College Application

James Eimers

June 16, 2017

The Art of Writing Funny Personal Statements: How to Use Humor in Your College Application

When 650 words or fewer play a critical role in determining where you’ll pursue your degree, it’s hard to think of admissions essays as anything other than serious business.

With such a small space to give admissions officers a glimpse into who you are and why you’d be a great addition to a given school, it’s always tempting to paint a professional, straight-laced picture of yourself; after all, what school wouldn’t want a mature student highly focused on academic success?

Indeed, for some students, this might be a completely reasonable approach to the Common App personal statement . However, as with many things in life, there is no one-size-fits-all strategy when it comes to admissions essays, and it’s important to take a step back and recall their purpose. Test scores, grades, and letters of recommendation all play an important and informative role in the application process, but none allow you to present yourself in your own words—that’s the beauty of the admissions essays.

There are as many approaches and possible answers to essay questions as there are applicants, including those with a keen sense of humor. Admissions readers count on this because, aside from assembling an incoming class that meets the academic profile of their schools, they hope to admit interesting students with diverse talents who will enrich the educational and life experience of those around them. As a result, even though it feels a bit untraditional, letting your personality—including your sense of humor—shine through your essays can be an excellent way to create a memorable application.

Although humor can go a long way to demonstrating an applicant’s creativity and personality, this doesn’t mean that the approach will work for everyone. It actually can be a common personal statement mistake to try and use humor. Funny personal statements can definitely pack a punch, but they're difficult to do well. When writing what I call a “humorous/offbeat” admissions essay, there are a few key concepts to keep in mind.

Remember that humor itself should never be the main point of the essay. It’s perfectly acceptable to make your reader smile or even laugh out loud, but only in the course of telling a story that reveals something important about yourself. In other words, ensure that you use humor only as a device to highlight or enhance the underlying substance or reflective nature of your essay. Funny personal statements are effective only in showing the personal qualities of the writer at the same time.

You should never force humor into your essays, even when attempting funny personal statements . It is an unfortunate truth of life that making others laugh does not come naturally to all of us, so the offbeat/humor essay might not be an option for everyone. Admissions essays should indicate who you really are; forced humor that falls flat will indeed leave a memorable impression, but for all the wrong reasons.

When writing funny personal statements , the peer-review process becomes even more important than it already is. Humor is subjective by nature, so before clicking “submit” on your applications, make sure that a wide variety of people in your life (friends, parents, and teachers) have read your essays. If all your readers think your essay is appropriate and lighthearted, you’ve likely composed an essay with humor that will land well with an admissions office. If not, it might be time to go back to the drawing board.

When done correctly, f unny personal statements can be extremely effective. One of the best essays I’ve ever read followed this formula: Rife with stories about fanciful white lies he had told others over the years, this student’s essay at first seemed risky. Why reveal to an admissions office the fact that you have, at times, stretched the truth?

However, the student soon made it clear that stretching the truth in his younger days was in fact an early manifestation of his larger desire to tell stories—he wanted to study creative writing and ultimately become an author. His past storytelling revealed much about his creative character and also the fact that, although he had done quite well in school, he didn’t take himself too seriously while doing so. Ultimately, the student was admitted to a number of top schools.

I’ll leave you with some final tips to review when thinking about using humor in your admissions essays:

Stay away from potentially controversial topics—at best, you will demonstrate a lack of self-awareness, and at worst you might personally offend the admissions reader. Again, peer review your humor before submitting!
The humor should be original. By writing funny personal statements , you are illustrating the fact that you are a creative student with a good sense of humor—recycling humor falls short here.
You can use humor in many different types of essays, but remember that the humor should be added only after you already know what story you want to tell; humor alone should never be the substance of your essay.
Subtle humor can often make a stronger impression than can loud, straightforward humor.

Tags : essay , College , applying to college , college application essay , college admissions essay , college personal statement , Personal Statement

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24 Hilariously Accurate College Memes All Students Will Understand

Via Runt of the Web

Holiday Humor

These funny college memes poke fun at the so-called best years of your life. College is full of fantastic experiences—discovering academic passions, making lifelong friends—as well as downsides like stress and student debt. Luckily, college students are always happy to satirize their institutions of higher learning, as these hilarious college memes demonstrate.

Group Projects Are the Worst

Via Instagram

At least they would finally be doing what you asked them to do.

Very Young Small Early Peas

Via Twitter

Just need to add a few more words that mean the same thing. Now where did I put that dusty old thesaurus?

Going, Going, Going, Gone

Look around in any 8 AM lecture class and you'll encounter students in all four stages of this process.

So Many Questions

Via Bored Panda

"Can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the things?"

"The Walking Debt"

Via Wannajoke

Is there anything scarier than racking up tens of thousands of dollars in debt?

"My Neighbors (College Kids) Are Testing a New Cash Flow Alternative."

These students might be geniuses. If you can't stop people from throwing trash in your yard, at least get them to throw trash that can be exchanged for cash.

This Is Fine

The "This Is Fine" dog knows exactly how it feels to put on the blinders and pretend your bank account isn't in the red. Or that money doesn't exist.

Take a Good Look at Your Future, Kid

Via Facebook

Hey, who said realism is such a bad thing?

Peak Student Status

When you show up to the lecture only to crash out on the floor with your blankie, you've achieved a new level of college.

Kuzco's Writing Technique

Anyone who's ever written an essay at the last minute can relate to the struggle of searching for ten different ways to say the exact same thing.

If College Held Parent-Teacher Conferences

Cue every class-cutter thanking their lucky stars that parent- teacher conferences are behind them.

Check Out This $1,000 TV Stand

College students often spend hundreds of dollars on a textbook, only to discover that the book is only referenced once or twice in an entire semester. Luckily, those pricy books have another potential function: furniture.

Shock and Awe

Have we mentioned how difficult it is to work when your entire grade hangs on your fellow students?

I'm Outta Here

Just make sure to wave those super slick finger-guns on the way out the door and you're sure to ace it.

Write Faster!

So what if it ends up looking like chicken scratch that even you can't read? Write faster!

College Groceries

This industrious college student has discovered what we like to call the lunchroom loophole.

"Went to Visit My Son in College. This Is His Porch Furniture."

Please ensure that your seats are in the upright position before crashing on the porch.

It's Not Stupid if It Works

This might be one of the most ingenious dorm life hacks we've ever seen.

"After Three Hours of Writing"

We've all been there—staring at that blinking cursor for hours while waiting for inspiration to strike. Here's what this student has written so far: "What I learned in boating school is."

Concentration Troubles

But if we could study for exams by playing video games, we'd be all set.

Procrastination Power

Via Cheezburger

After all, procrastination is a skill that many college students practice daily.

The Eternal College Student Dilemma

"How do I get experience when no one will hire me without experience?"

Word Count Woes

Oh, the lion's brother is also a lion? What a fascinating detail.

Seven-Year Senior

Via The Chive

Well, you can't rush perfection!

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