narrative essay scoring rubric

The Personal Narrative Essay

A Rubric-based Guide To Writing about Personal Experience

TheCraftedWord.org

Tell Your Story

Writing a Personal Narrative Essay

Use This Rubric-based Approach To Writing a Five Paragraph Personal Essay

Use the Narrative Paragraph Rubric and the Personal Narrative Essay Rubric to craft a compelling, well-structured and insightful essay that describes the details and explores the deeper meaning and lessons of a personal experience.

Writing with Rubrics

The only way out is through….

Damn! Another long post…

For better and worse–and through thick and thin–I keep piling on rubric after rubric to help guide the content, flow, and direction of my students’ writing pieces.  The greater irony is that I never set out to create or use rubrics with them. I was always (and still am) a great proponent of just writing until  your writing skills reach the omega point–that place where you write well just because you don’t know how else to write, except “well.” 

I don’t believe this because I think it; I believe it because I know it and have seen it hundreds of times over: if you write a prodigious amount and you try to use good and accepted writing skills, you will become a better writer. By “prodigious” I mean something along the lines of 1500-2000 words a week, week in and week out. By good and accepted writing skills I mean that you practice and imitate and hone those skills that have worked for countless generations of writers before you. 

And for those of you with a particular slant of genius, you can be that writer who creates a new way of approaching writing–a way that simply works for whatever audience you envision!

I am not so vain and ignorant to think that I have found a solution for weak writers to become little Billy Shakespeare’s, but I am wise enough to see when something just works. I saw it last weekend when I trawled through the myriad depths of your portfolios and joyfully read post after post that were engaging, enlightening, and edifying. Some of the posts had the raw quality of uncooked food that would benefit from a bit more cooking–more proofreading, organizing, and  revising for clarity, conciseness, and completeness. Some more of the posts were utterly perfect in vision, crafting and follow through.

My dream and hope and intent is that you feel and see what I feel and see. I started The Crafted Word out of a belief that words are the clay of our soul and that crafting, shaping, and forming that clay into the shape of your unique and enduring mind and soul and being in an intentional and disciplined way will transform you into  craftsmen of words  and, ultimately, into fully independent  artists  that seek and desire the perfection that only true artists can attain–and I want to give you the workshop and studio that helps you reach that perfection.

Which to me is why you are here reading this right now, and today is as good a day as any to start or to continue, for one is as important as the other.

I started making rubrics a few years ago as a way to help writers get started. I spent a long time looking, reading–and listening–to how conversations and writing pieces were structured, and I tried to see what patterns those pieces followed and what irrefutable and universal logic was inherent in what I read and heard; and then I tried, and am still trying, to recreate these patterns as a guide to how we, as writers, consciously and unconsciously follow those patterns.

Are there other ways to do this?  

Of course there are other ways. The only true judgment of a writer is in the willingness and desire of a reader or readers to read what you have written–and to want to read more of your writing again and again, but to flail blindly in a thicket of words is no way to reach your destination; while, to boldly carve a new route the same morass is noble and courageous and what every true writer sometimes has to do. Or wants to do! The rubrics are just a map that show “a” way through and out–and sometimes around–a writing block.

All you really need to be a great writer is a realization that once your words are uttered or printed they are no longer yours. They are an intentional gift to an audience. 

Give your audience what they need and want and will cherish. Give yourself the time to make that sea of words. It really does work.

And that becomes your reward and your inspiration to reach that higher level.

Read Fitz’s Essays

Some more cool tips & tricks to help you write well…

 Rubrics…

The Literary Analysis Paragraph Rubric

The literary analysis essay rubric, all quiet video essay rubric.

• Narrative Paragraph Rubric Example

& Resources…

How To Write Opening Paragraphs

How to write essay conclusions, henry david thoreau.

Write often, write upon a thousand themes, rather than long at a time, not trying to turn too many feeble somersets in the air–and so come down upon your head at last. Antaeus-like, be not long absent from the ground. Those sentences are good and well discharged which are like so many little resiliencies from the spring floor of our life–a distinct fruit and kernel itself, springing from  terra firma . Let there be as many distinct plants as the soil and the light can sustain. Take as many bounds in a day as possible. Sentences uttered with your back to the wall. Those are the admirable bounds when the performer has lately touched the spring board. (November 12, 1851)

Kurt Vonneghut

Vonnegut offers eight essential tips on how to write a short story:

• Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
• Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
• Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
• Every sentence must do one of two things–reveal character or advance the action.
• Start as close to the end as possible.
• Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them–in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
• Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
• Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

James Joyce

Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you desire to arrest attention, to surprise, do not give me the facts in the order of cause and effect, but drop one or two links in the chain, and give me a cause and an effect two or three times removed.

Annie Dilliard

Why are we reading, if not in hope of beauty laid bare, life heightened and its deepest mystery probed? Can the writer isolate and vivify all in experience that most deeply engages our intellects and our hearts? Can the writer renew our hope for literary forms? Why are we reading if not in hope that the writer will magnify and dramatize our days, will illuminate and inspire us with wisdom, courage, and the possibility of meaningfulness, and will press upon our minds the deepest mysteries, so that we may feel again their majesty and power? What do we ever know that is higher than that power which, from time to time, seizes our lives, and reveals us startlingly to ourselves as creatures set down here bewildered? Why does death so catch us by surprise, and why love? We still and always want waking.

~The Writing Life

The Power of a Narrative Paragraph!

Fitz's Essay Formula

•  Set the scene and state the theme :  Use your first paragraph to lead up to your theme. If the lead in to your essay is dull and uninspired, you will lose your readers before they get to the theme. If you simply state your theme right off the bat, you will only attract the readers who are “already” interested in your topic. Your theme is the main point, idea, thought, or experience you want your writing piece to convey to your audience. (Often it is called a “Thesis Statement.) I suggest making your theme be the last sentence of your opening paragraph because it makes sense to put it there, and so it will guide your reader in a clear and, hopefully, compelling way. In fact, constantly remind yourself to make your theme be clear, concise and memorable. Consciously or unconsciously, your readers constantly refer back to your theme as mnemonic guide for “why” you are writing your essay in the first place! Every writing piece is a journey of discovery, but do everything you possibly can to make the journey worthwhile from the start.
•  Say what you mean :  Write about your theme. Use as many paragraphs as you “need.” A paragraph should be as short as it can be and as long as it has to be. Make the first sentence(s) “be” what the whole paragraph is going to be about. Try and make those sentences be clear, concise and memorable (just like your theme) and make sure everything relates closely to the theme you so clearly expressed in your first paragraph. If your paragraph does not relate to your theme, it would be like opening up the directions for a fire extinguisher and finding directions for baking chocolate chip cookies instead! And finally, do your best to balance the size of your body paragraphs. If they are out of proportion to each other, then an astute reader will make the assumption that some of your points are way better than your other points, and so the seed of cynicism will be sown before your reader even begins the journey.
• Finish it clean:   Conclusions should be as simple and refreshing as possible. In conversations only boring or self important people drag out the end of a conversation. When you are finished saying what you wanted to say, exit confidently and cleanly. DON”T add any new information into the last paragraph; DON’T retell what you’ve already told, and DON’T preen before the mirror of your brilliance. Just “get out of Dodge” in an interesting and thoughtful (and quick) way. Use three sentences or less. It shows your audience that you appreciate their intelligence and literacy by not repeating what you have already presented!

Set the scene; state the theme; say what you mean, and finish it clean  is a simple rubric for writing to keep in your head as you read and comment, and to practice in your writing as you reflect and express yourself with words.

Telling a Narrative Story

How to Tell a Good Story

Call me Ishmael ~Herman Melville

We are born to tell and listen to stories of all kinds, but the most popular and pervasive of these is the narrative story—a story which retells an experience you have had. Every time someone asks you: “how was school? how was your trip? did you catch anything? what do you like about him? “was it a good game”? … and you answer with more than a grunted single-word response, you are telling a narrative story and YOU are the narrator. The only difference between a narrative story and a fictional story is how much you can play with the truth. The art of the story is the same.

Of course, some people tell better stories than other people, but why? The answer is probably because they tell more stories or they read more stories. They are not satisfied with the single grunt because they love and want to recreate the moment as vividly and compellingly as possible, and by the process of elimination and addition they have figured out how to tell a good story. Good storytellers know what goes into a good story, and, just as important, they know what to leave out. They know that a good story, well told, brings great satisfaction to them as the tellers and writers and to their audience as listeners and readers.

Truth be told, if you can’t tell a good story, it will be hard to get people to listen to you when you really want and need them to listen to you, like when you want to get into a certain school, or you want a certain job, or you are meeting new friends, or you are asking someone on a date, or you desperately need to get through that border crossing…really, anytime you are in a position where someone or somebodies want to hear your story, you need to be able to produce—and to produce, you need to practice.

Kind of like I am doing now.

Thankfully, you probably are already a good storyteller, at least in your head. The harder job is to get your mouth to say it like you think it or your hand to write it like you think it—it being the story. Sometimes this means you have to ignore what your teachers may have taught you about writing, for a good story needs to sing and flow with the unique rhythms of your natural way of speaking, which is rarely what a teacher is looking for in your essay. Imagine if your speaking was graded as harshly as your writing pieces? You would barely get out three sentences without being stopped dead in your tracks! Your mouth would be covered in so many red x’s that you probably would never speak again–and that would be the end of good stories. At least from you. (Even now, my grammar checker is underlining way too many phrases and words–even whole sentences–with green scribbly lines asking me to reconsider how I am writing. I just ignore them. For now.)

The irony for you as a writer is that to recreate your inner voice into a story your readers enjoy reading, you have to write deliberately and carefully to be sure that it sounds and “feels” like you, and that (at least for me) takes a good deal of editing and revising and reading aloud–something most of us know how to do. We just don’t do it enough. But if you do, and if you like what you have created: man oh man, what a great feeling!

Hopefully, I have written well enough that you are still with me, and if you are still with me, and if you want to be a better writer and teller of stories, you will “listen” just a bit longer. As Maria sings in “The Sound of Music” when teaching her gaggle of children: “Let’s start at the beginning/ It’s a very good place to start/ When we sing we begin with do, rei, me…”

Rule #1: Get your reader’s attention! (set the scene)

• Your opening line is like the opening whistle in a soccer game, the first pitch in a baseball game, or the kickoff in a football game. It creates excitement and anticipation. No one knows what exactly is coming, but it certainly keeps us in our seats to see what is coming.
• Your opening line (or sometimes even just a word!) should be an expression of your passion for the story you are about to tell. As Robert Frost once said: “If there are no tears for the writer, there are no tears for the reader.” So open with a line that gets you as excited as your reader.
• I enjoy fishing. [NO NO NO: Nobody cares about you!]
• It was a day that every fisherman lives for. [YES YES YES: Every fisherman that has ever fished (or wishes to fish) lives for that day!]
• Sally is a good friend of mine. [Nooooo….]
• A good friend stands by you come hell or high water. [Yessssss! Everybody (especially your readers) wants a friend like that.]

Rule #2: Let your reader know where you are taking them. (state the theme)

• The best place to let your reader know the overall direction and guiding theme of your story is at the end of the first paragraph. Few readers will continue on reading if he or she is not reasonably sure that reading your story is going to be worth the effort.
• Make the last line of your opening paragraph a clear, concise, and compelling statement of where your story is going to take your readers.
• I am going to write about what a good skier I am. [No, no, no, no…no one cares about how good a skier your are!]
• It was that last run through the deep powder that proved to me that even the greatest fears can be overcome. [Yes, yes, yes….now there is some thematic “thing” that any reader–even those who don’t ski–can relate to in a meaningful way; hence, reading your story “might” be worth the effort!

Rule #3: Paint visually rich scenes. (say what you mean)

• Your readers need to see and think and feel the way you see and think and feel. They are not in your head, so you need to put them in your head using images and actions, which are created using nouns and verbs, not vague thoughts. Brain studies have proven that when a brain is presented by words representing images and actions, the part of the brain that commands motion is prompted into action. This is a great time to use similes and metaphors to help make your words feel alive and real ad make your reader feel the motions of your narrative.
• The weather was lousy. [NO NO NO: What do you even mean by lousy weather?]
• The clouds cracked open and dropped unending sheets of pelting rain that scattered the screaming children like startled blackbirds from a muddy field. [YES YES YES: Your readers brain is now saying, “Run, run for cover!” and they are now a part of your story, not just a passive onlooker.]
• The game was really long. [Noooooo: what do you mean by long? Everybody has a different idea of what long means.]
• The game dragged on like a dull movie until even the referee was snoring. [Yessss….Now we know what you mean by loooong.]

Rule #4: Weave your thoughts into the story (say what you mean)

• Tie your thoughts directly to the images and actions of your story. No one really likes to hear or read a story that is just a bunch of one person’s thoughts. Once your readers are engaged in your story, they will relish your thoughts about what is happening, and, if done well, these thoughts will spark their own thoughts, and not only will they be reliving your story, they will be creating a story of their own; they will wonder what they would think and feel and do in that same situation. The story then becomes their wondrous story, too—not just your story.
• The weather was lousy. I wish I wasn’t there. [NO NO NO: Stating the obvious is not stating much at all. And, oh yeah, nobody cares about you–unless you make them care through the miracle work of words strung like emeralds in the sky.
• The clouds cracked open and dropped unending sheets of pelting rain that scattered the screaming children like startled blackbirds from a muddy field. I could almost hear them thinking “Why did I ever come to this godforsaken place!” In the chaos of the  mad cloudburst we must all have been experiencing the same nightmare of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but at least we were all in it together [YES YES YES: This is not just sorry old you in a rainstorm; it is everybody who has ever been caught in the wrong place at the wrong time—and a universal and vexing conundrum.]

Rule #5: The End is a new beginning (finish it clean)

• Your story may seem to end with the last line, but for your readers, the end is a new beginning full of the thinking and pondering and satisfaction that is evoked from a story well-told. No reader wants to hear or read, “That’s it. It’s over. Move on.” We don’t need to be reminded with some pithy summary that your story is over because we know it’s over. If we are reading your story, we can see it ending; if we are listening to your story, we will hear your story drawing to its close. This is not the time to point in the casket and say, “He’s dead,” as if it is a revelation we need to hear. It is a time, however, to more carefully and precisely craft your words into a final gift to your audience—like a parent, friend, or lover pressing a handful of gems into your palm before you leave on a journey and saying, “Here, take these; use them as you need them!”  Your final words should read more like poetry than prose—a final reward of the best your head can create because the story is no longer yours: it is ours.
• Not… “Sooo, that’s Johnny Fitz’s story about catching a big fish.”
• But, like Norman Maclean in the closing of A River Runs through It :” I am haunted by waters.”
• Not… “This was an experience no one should have to go through.”
• But like Joseph Conrad in the last phrases of The Heart of Darkness : “The Horror, the horror.”
• Not… “It is important that all of us live and think differently.”
• But like Henry David Thoreau in the last words of Walden : “The sun is but a morning star.”

Every story is ultimately given away. It ends when you abandon it to your audience, and it then becomes a new experience—a new beginning—for your audience, and it is these final words they will mince and chew on through eternity, and so they should be crafted with care; however … remember that you have already given your audience the meat and bones of your story, so you do not need to feed them again with any kind of bland and boring summary.

When I finish reading or listening to a really good story, I get an urge to sit down and think for a really, really long time.

The better the story, the longer I think.

Fitz’s Rubric for a Personal Narrative Essay

A Sentence is a thought fully-expressed; A Paragraph is a thought fully-explained; An Essay is a thought fully-explored!

My rubric for writing narrative paragraphs and narrative essays is simply that–a rubric. Not a law, rule, or even always the best way to write a personal essay–but it is a solid and practiced approach that can help anyone construct an essay that is unified in theme, that has a logical and natural flow, and which does what a personal essay need to do: engage, enlighten, and edify your readers.

This rubric is geared towards writing the classic “Five Paragraph Essay,” which seems to be the staple of many academic assignments. In the end, use your best judgment, take risks–and always, always, always write in the way that you think and speak and converse with others. A personal essay that is not personal and real is a worthless collection of drivel and hubris.

To truly understand the “Art of the Essay” you must explore how other writers write; you must write in a sustained and focused way, you must hone your craft as a writer, and you must think deeply about how and why a good piece of writing affects you–and most importantly. Check out my essays and you will see where and when I follow my rules and where and when I ignore them, for every writers journey is a journey of discovery

Try this rubric and see how it works for you. When and where it doesn’t work for you, ignore it, but at least give it a shot. You’ll be surprised by what you write.

And that is pretty cool!

For the best results, especially when first starting out:

• Use the “Narrative Paragraph Rubric” for your body paragraphs (watch the video, too!)
• Read “How to Tell a Good Story” for insights
• Use “How to Write Opening Paragraphs” for your open
• Use “How to Write Conclusions” for your conclusion
• Use the “Personal Essay Rubric” to compile your essay
• Proofread, edit & revise like it is religion
• Share because what your write is worth sharing!

…and have fun… Readers sense when you are not having fun!

Set the Stage

Before anything else a reader “sees” the essay–and often makes his or her first judgment at this point. A well-formatted setting of the stage guides the reader in the direction your essay is going to go.

1. Assignment Details:

• Use a single appropriate and readable font
• Be sure that your assignment information is in the top right of your document:

Name The Crafted Word: Personal Narrative Essay Date

• All paragraphs should be single spaced with double spaces between paragraphs.
• Feel free to include an image or images in your narrative essay.

Chris Ruedigger Fitz English Personal Narrative Essay 12/18/2012

MAIN TITLE:

• Your main title tries to capture the major theme or themes of your essay in a broad and interesting way
• It should be centered on your page in size 18 font two double spaces down from your assignment information.
• Consider inserting an image above your Main Title

Nothing Gold Can Stay

  SUBTITLE:  

• The subtitle points the reader in a more narrow and focused direction and it should contain a reference to the major theme of the essay
• Make this as interesting and compelling as you can.
• Use size 14 italic font centered directly below the main title.

How a Baseball Game Taught Me To Cherish the Moment

Guiding Quote:

• Find a really cool quote to put above your story that captures the major theme of your story.
• A good source for quotes is http://brainyquotes.com but you can use a quote from anywhere if it works
• Use size 12 or 14 font centered on the page.
• The quote is in italics; author’s name in regular font

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

The Opening Paragraph

Set the Scene & State the Theme

  The Hook:

• Open your first paragraph with a real hook of a sentence that grabs your reader’s attention and prepares your readers for what is coming.
• Sometimes a single word is all you need!

The dreary dark skies shone over the baseball field as I dug my foot into the soft and chunky dirt on the mound.

Set the Scene:

• Drop your readers into the scene.
• Show us what is happening by describing in vivid detail a single scene from the experience you are retelling.
• Use plenty images and actions (and dialogue if you can) to paint with words a complete picture of the action taking place.
• Remember that your readers were not with you, so be sure to include who was there; what was happening; when it was happening; where it was happening, and why it was happening.

Feel free to use any of the other techniques listed in “How To Write an Essay Opening”

I wiped off the rubber, and stared down my last opponent. I took the signal and wound up from the stretch. I fired in a blazing fastball for strike one. Cheers came from the infield, cheering me (Rudy) on for the next pitch. This time a snapped off a curveball that dropped into the zone, and the batter swung. I weak ground ball came right to our shortstop, who cleanly made the play. In the moment, it seemed like an ordinary out, but after, I realized that was the last pitch I will ever throw at Fenn.

State the Theme:

• stating the theme is a way of creatively and effectively capturing the main reason you are telling this story!
• This is often called the main theme, premise, or thesis of a story.
• a story can always include other themes.
• Don’t promise more than you are going to give; otherwise, a reader will feel cheated!
• Put this sentence (or sentences) right at the end of the first paragraph. It is a logical jumping off place for the any essay, narrative or otherwise.

As I walked off the field ,I nearly started to cry. It wasn’t the last pitch that struck me, it was the sign that this was my last ride and time here at Fenn. For the past five years Fenn has been a crazy ride, but one that I will never forget. Fenn has been so special to me because of the numerous opportunities and warm and caring teachers that support me.

The Body Paragraphs

  Tell Your Story.  Say What you mean.  Write Well. 

• Now tell the whole story using as many paragraphs as you need.
• Consider using the Narrative Paragraph Rubric to write most of your body paragraphs.
• Be sure to include images and actions AND your thoughts and feelings about what is happening as you go along.
• Dialogue is always good to include.
• Remember that whenever a new person is speaking you need to create a new paragraph.

  First Body Paragraph

• Copy and paste your first body paragraph you created using the narrative paragraph rubric.
• Your first body paragraph is the mother of all other body paragraphs: there must feel like there is a natural flow and gravity to the order of your paragraphs.
• Since your first body paragraph is followed by another body paragraph, you want to be sure that your last line “sets up” the next paragraph in a logical way. This is called a transition sentence.
• Not every paragraph needs to use the rubric. A bit of variety is always good!

          “Nobody ever made a mistake if they never tried something new.” Albert Einstein once said. As I went through my time at Fenn, opportunities for growth were pounded all over campus. Over these years, I have grown so much from all of the opportunities, but the most memorable one was Acapella. I came to Fenn as a somewhat shy, timid fourth grader who didn’t have a strong passion for music. In seventh grade I finally decided I would   a try. I had played piano and guitar, but never felt comfortable with signing. After a quick audition I came to the first rehearsal. Ever since that day, I have loved Acapella and become so much more confident on stage. I can really put on a solid performance. Acapella has been a unique and distinct group I will never forget; however, theres plenty more opportunities that I have been apart off. Not many places can say they ofter a broad range of activities for kids to grow and learn from. Sure, I made some mistakes, but I am just like everyone, as Albert Einstein says. I have grown way more than I ever expected, thanks to the opportunities Fenn has provided. It’s not just the opportunities tough, it is the warm and supportive teachers that I also remember.

Second Body Paragraph:

• You may always write more than three body paragraphs, so these point apply to all inner body paragraphs.
• Copy and paste your second body paragraph you created.
• You may need or want to revise the beginning broad theme of your second paragraph, so that you don’t lose the continuity of your main theme.
• At the end of this paragraph (or series of paragraphs) you need to transition to your final body paragraph, so in your last sentence give your readers a clue that there is still more to come!

          Everyone needs care and support. During my days at Fenn, it has been from all the faculty that care so deeply about me. I can trust and feel comfortable around any teacher now; however, it is no more evident than with Mr. Sanborn, my sixth and eighth grade math teacher. As I found myself in his class in sixth grade, I often understood the math work we were doing. Except, one day, I completely zoned out and couldn’t learn any of the material. Nervous and scared, I approached Mr. Sanborn to ask for extra help. Despite my fear, I knew it was the right thing to do: to get caught up. After quietly asking to check some problems, he patted me on the back and sat me down. There, for the next forty-five minutes, we discussed the work and the best way to approach it. It is rare that a teacher can give each student that kind of care and warmth, and I am every so grateful to have had this. It hasn’t just been Mr. Sanborn tough, it is all the loving and supportive teachers that make Fenn the amazing community it is. The care and support that I received is something that I will never forget as I depart from Fenn.

  Third or Final Body Paragraph: 

• Copy and paste your third or final body paragraph you created using the narrative paragraph rubric.
• Be a preacher, philosopher and wise person and “tell” your readers what you learned from this experience.
• This paragraph needs to “feel” like a final paragraph. By the end of this paragraph your readers should feel like you delivered on the promise of your thesis.
• In this paragraph, reflect upon what you learned from this experience and why it was an important experience in your life.
• Since you are not transitioning to a new body paragraph, your final line of this paragraph should be conclusive, confident—and above all—clear and concise.

          It is still bittersweet emotions, and I know I will miss Fenn deeply, especially the opportunities and respect from teachers. As I walked off that rubber, it was walking away from Fenn. Moving on is difficult, but I will take my growth and apply it to my next school. There is no way that you can go through Fenn without accomplishing or trying some new thing. That is special. There is no way that you can go through Fenn without connecting to some teacher. That is special. Acapella and Mr. Sanborn are just two examples of many, but two that will certainly stick with me.

The Conclusion: Parting Words

Finish it Clean

• Remember to finish it clean! Your conclusion wants to remind readers of the promise in your thesis and the overall importance of your main theme or themes that you so amazingly explicated in your body paragraphs.
• Don’t introduce any new experiences in the conclusion–only reference what you have already written.
• There is no need to overdo it, but don’t be dull either. Be sure to include your main theme(s) and a specific reference to the experience you just wrote about.
• If you need more help, go to “How to Write an Essay Conclusion” for more tips and tricks.

It is important to cherish all the moments you get at Fenn, and never take them for granted because someday when you step off the rubber, you will see what I mean.

Cherishing the Moments at Fenn

          T he dreary dark skies shone over the baseball field as I dug my foot into the soft and chunky dirt on the mound. I wiped off the rubber, and stared down my last opponent. I took the signal and wound up from the stretch. I fired in a blazing fastball for strike one. Cheers came from the infield, cheering me (Rudy) on for the next pitch. This time a snapped off a curveball that dropped into the zone, and the batter swung. I weak ground ball came right to our shortstop, who cleanly made the play. In the moment, it seemed like an ordinary out, but after, I realized that was the last pitch I will ever throw at Fenn. As I walked off the field,I nearly started to cry. It wasn’t the last pitch that struck me, it was the sign that this was my last ride and time here at Fenn. For the past five year Fenn has been a crazy ride, but one that I will never forget. Fenn has been so special to me because of the numerous opportunities and warm and caring teachers that support me.

“Nobody ever made a mistake if they never tried something new.” Albert Einstein once said. As I went through my time at Fenn, opportunities for growth were pounded all over campus. Over these years, I have grown so much from   opportunities, but the most memorable one was Acapella. I came to Fenn as a somewhat shy, timid fourth grader who didn’t have a strong passion for music. In seventh grade I finally decided I would give Acapella a try. I had played piano and guitar, but never felt comfortable with signing. After a quick audition I came to the first rehearsal. Ever since that day, I have loved Acapella and become so much more confident on stage. I can really put on a solid performance. Acapella has been a unique and distinct group I will never forget; however, theres plenty more opportunities that I have been apart off. Not many places can say they ofter a broad range of activities for kids to grow and learn from. Sure, I made some mistakes, but I am just like everyone, as Albert Einstein says. I have grown way more than I ever expected, thanks to the opportunities Fenn has provided. It’s not just the opportunities though, it is the warm and supportive teachers that I also remember.

Everyone needs care and support. During my days at Fenn, it has been from all of the faculty that care so deeply about me. I can trust and feel comfortable around any teacher now; however, it is no more evident than with Mr. Sanborn, my sixth and eighth grade math teacher. As I found myself in his class in sixth grade, I often understood the math work we were doing. Except, one day, I completely zoned out and couldn’t learn any of the material. Nervous and scared, I approached Mr. Sanborn to ask for extra help. Despite my fear, I knew it was the right thing to do: to get caught up. After quietly asking to check some problems, he patted me on the back and sat me down. There, for the next forty-five minutes, we discussed the work and the best way to approach it. It is rare that a teacher can give each student that kind of care and warmth, and I am every so grateful to have had this. It hasn’t just been Mr. Sanborn tough, it is all the loving and supportive teachers that make Fenn the amazing community it is. The care and support that I received is something that I will never forget as I depart from Fenn.

It is still bittersweet emotions, and I know I will miss Fenn deeply, especially the opportunities and respect from teachers. As I walked off that rubber, it was walking away from Fenn. Moving on is difficult, but I will take my growth and apply it to my next school. There is no way that you can go through Fenn without accomplishing or trying some new thing. That is special. There is no way that you can go through Fenn without connecting to some teacher. That is special. Acapella and Mr. Sanborn are just two examples of many, but two that will certainly stick with me.

It is important to cherish all the moments you get at Fenn, and never take them for granted; because someday when you step off the rubber, you will see what I mean.

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9th-12th grade narrative writing rubric

Rubric for formative and summative assignments with tasks involving writing that tells a story, either personal or literary.

Rubric suitable for formative and summative assignments with tasks involving writing that tells a story, either personal or literary. Use this rubric when asking students to write a personal essay or a fictional narrative.

Consider using the 9th-12th Grade Narrative QuickMark set with this rubric. These drag-and-drop comments were tailor-made by veteran educators to give actionable, formative feedback directly to students. While they were explicitly aligned to this particular rubric, you can edit or add your own content to any QuickMark.

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Critic’s Pick

‘Civil War’ Review: We Have Met the Enemy and It Is Us. Again.

In Alex Garland’s tough new movie, a group of journalists led by Kirsten Dunst, as a photographer, travels a United States at war with itself.

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‘Civil War’ | Anatomy of a Scene

The writer and director alex garland narrates a sequence from his film..

“My name is Alex Garland and I’m the writer director of ‘Civil War’. So this particular clip is roughly around the halfway point of the movie and it’s these four journalists and they’re trying to get, in a very circuitous route, from New York to DC, and encountering various obstacles on the way. And this is one of those obstacles. What they find themselves stuck in is a battle between two snipers. And they are close to one of the snipers and the other sniper is somewhere unseen, but presumably in a large house that sits over a field and a hill. It’s a surrealist exchange and it’s surrounded by some very surrealist imagery, which is they’re, in broad daylight in broad sunshine, there’s no indication that we’re anywhere near winter in the filming. In fact, you can kind of tell it’s summer. But they’re surrounded by Christmas decorations. And in some ways, the Christmas decorations speak of a country, which is in disrepair, however silly it sounds. If you haven’t put away your Christmas decorations, clearly something isn’t going right.” “What’s going on?” “Someone in that house, they’re stuck. We’re stuck.” “And there’s a bit of imagery. It felt like it hit the right note. But the interesting thing about that imagery was that it was not production designed. We didn’t create it. We actually literally found it. We were driving along and we saw all of these Christmas decorations, basically exactly as they are in the film. They were about 100 yards away, just piled up by the side of the road. And it turned out, it was a guy who’d put on a winter wonderland festival. People had not dug his winter wonderland festival, and he’d gone bankrupt. And he had decided just to leave everything just strewn around on a farmer’s field, who was then absolutely furious. So in a way, there’s a loose parallel, which is the same implication that exists within the film exists within real life.” “You don’t understand a word I say. Yo. What’s over there in that house?” “Someone shooting.” “It’s to do with the fact that when things get extreme, the reasons why things got extreme no longer become relevant and the knife edge of the problem is all that really remains relevant. So it doesn’t actually matter, as it were, in this context, what side they’re fighting for or what the other person’s fighting for. It’s just reduced to a survival.”

By Manohla Dargis

A blunt, gut-twisting work of speculative fiction, “Civil War” opens with the United States at war with itself — literally, not just rhetorically. In Washington, D.C., the president is holed up in the White House; in a spookily depopulated New York, desperate people wait for water rations. It’s the near-future, and rooftop snipers, suicide bombers and wild-eyed randos are in the fight while an opposition faction with a two-star flag called the Western Forces, comprising Texas and California — as I said, this is speculative fiction — is leading the charge against what remains of the federal government. If you’re feeling triggered, you aren’t alone.

It’s mourning again in America, and it’s mesmerizingly, horribly gripping. Filled with bullets, consuming fires and terrific actors like Kirsten Dunst running for cover, the movie is a what-if nightmare stoked by memories of Jan. 6. As in what if the visions of some rioters had been realized, what if the nation was again broken by Civil War, what if the democratic experiment called America had come undone? If that sounds harrowing, you’re right. It’s one thing when a movie taps into childish fears with monsters under the bed; you’re eager to see what happens because you know how it will end (until the sequel). Adult fears are another matter.

In “Civil War,” the British filmmaker Alex Garland explores the unbearable if not the unthinkable, something he likes to do. A pop cultural savant, he made a splashy zeitgeist-ready debut with his 1996 best seller “The Beach,” a novel about a paradise that proves deadly, an evergreen metaphor for life and the basis for a silly film . That things in the world are not what they seem, and are often far worse, is a theme that Garland has continued pursuing in other dark fantasies, first as a screenwriter (“ 28 Days Later ”), and then as a writer-director (“ Ex Machina ”). His résumé is populated with zombies, clones and aliens, though reliably it is his outwardly ordinary characters you need to keep a closer watch on.

By the time “Civil War” opens, the fight has been raging for an undisclosed period yet long enough to have hollowed out cities and people’s faces alike. It’s unclear as to why the war started or who fired the first shot. Garland does scatter some hints; in one ugly scene, a militia type played by a jolting, scarily effective Jesse Plemons asks captives “what kind of American” they are. Yet whatever divisions preceded the conflict are left to your imagination, at least partly because Garland assumes you’ve been paying attention to recent events. Instead, he presents an outwardly and largely post-ideological landscape in which debates over policies, politics and American exceptionalism have been rendered moot by war.

‘Civil War’ Is Designed to Disturb You

One thing that remains familiar amid these ruins is the movie’s old-fashioned faith in journalism. Dunst, who’s sensational, plays Lee, a war photographer who works for Reuters alongside her friend, a reporter, Joel (the charismatic Wagner Moura). They’re in New York when you meet them, milling through a crowd anxiously waiting for water rations next to a protected tanker. It’s a fraught scene; the restless crowd is edging into mob panic, and Lee, camera in hand, is on high alert. As Garland’s own camera and Joel skitter about, Lee carves a path through the chaos, as if she knows exactly where she needs to be — and then a bomb goes off. By the time it does, an aspiring photojournalist, Jessie (Cailee Spaeny), is also in the mix.

The streamlined, insistently intimate story takes shape once Lee, Joel, Jessie and a veteran reporter, Sammy (Stephen McKinley Henderson), pile into a van and head to Washington. Joel and Lee are hoping to interview the president (Nick Offerman), and Sammy and Jessie are riding along largely so that Garland can make the trip more interesting. Sammy serves as a stabilizing force (Henderson fills the van with humanizing warmth), while Jessie plays the eager upstart Lee takes under her resentful wing. It’s a tidily balanced sampling that the actors, with Garland’s banter and via some cozy downtime, turn into flesh-and-blood personalities, people whose vulnerability feeds the escalating tension with each mile.

As the miles and hours pass, Garland adds diversions and hurdles, including a pair of playful colleagues, Tony and Bohai (Nelson Lee and Evan Lai), and some spooky dudes guarding a gas station. Garland shrewdly exploits the tense emptiness of the land, turning strangers into potential threats and pretty country roads into ominously ambiguous byways. Smartly, he also recurrently focuses on Lee’s face, a heartbreakingly hard mask that Dunst lets slip brilliantly. As the journey continues, Garland further sketches in the bigger picture — the dollar is near-worthless, the F.B.I. is gone — but for the most part, he focuses on his travelers and the engulfing violence, the smoke and the tracer fire that they often don’t notice until they do.

Despite some much-needed lulls (for you, for the narrative rhythm), “Civil War” is unremittingly brutal or at least it feels that way. Many contemporary thrillers are far more overtly gruesome than this one, partly because violence is one way unimaginative directors can put a distinctive spin on otherwise interchangeable material: Cue the artful fountains of arterial spray. Part of what makes the carnage here feel incessant and palpably realistic is that Garland, whose visual approach is generally unfussy, doesn’t embellish the violence, turning it into an ornament of his virtuosity. Instead, the violence is direct, at times shockingly casual and unsettling, so much so that its unpleasantness almost comes as a surprise.

If the violence feels more intense than in a typical genre shoot ’em up, it’s also because, I think, with “Civil War,” Garland has made the movie that’s long been workshopped in American political discourse and in mass culture, and which entered wider circulation on Jan. 6. The raw power of Garland’s vision unquestionably owes much to the vivid scenes that beamed across the world that day when rioters, some wearing T-shirts emblazoned with “ MAGA civil war ,” swarmed the Capitol. Even so, watching this movie, I also flashed on other times in which Americans have relitigated the Civil War directly and not, on the screen and in the streets.

Movies have played a role in that relitigation for more than a century, at times grotesquely. Two of the most famous films in history — D.W. Griffith’s 1915 racist epic “The Birth of a Nation” (which became a Ku Klux Klan recruitment tool) and the romantic 1939 melodrama “Gone With the Wind” — are monuments to white supremacy and the myth of the Southern Lost Cause. Both were critical and popular hits. In the decades since, filmmakers have returned to the Civil War era to tell other stories in films like “Glory,” “Lincoln” and “Django Unchained” that in addressing the American past inevitably engage with its present.

There are no lofty or reassuring speeches in “Civil War,” and the movie doesn’t speak to the better angels of our nature the way so many films try to. Hollywood’s longstanding, deeply American imperative for happy endings maintains an iron grip on movies, even in ostensibly independent productions. There’s no such possibility for that in “Civil War.” The very premise of Garland’s movie means that — no matter what happens when or if Lee and the rest reach Washington — a happy ending is impossible, which makes this very tough going. Rarely have I seen a movie that made me so acutely uncomfortable or watched an actor’s face that, like Dunst’s, expressed a nation’s soul-sickness so vividly that it felt like an X-ray.

Civil War Rated R for war violence and mass death. Running time: 1 hour 49 minutes. In theaters.

Manohla Dargis is the chief film critic for The Times. More about Manohla Dargis

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