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How to write the pitt honors college application essays, school supplements.

UPDATE: The Pitt Honors College application essays have been updated for 2020-21.   Learn all about the changes!

To win admittance to the University of Pittsburgh Honors College, you'll have to respond to two short answer questions. Like the other Pitt essays ( check out our guide here ) the Pitt Honors essays are to the point, with a recommended length of 200-300 words. The prompts give you the perfect opportunity to display two traits that are essential for any Pitt Honors College student: contribution to the public good, and intellectual curiosity.

Let's start by looking at the Pitt Honors College application essay prompts!

In lieu of an essay or personal statement, we ask interested applicants to answer short answer questions. The Admissions Committee reviews responses for quality rather than length. However, the most effective responses typically range from 200-300 words per question. Responses that are longer or shorter are acceptable.

• An important emphasis of PittHonors is working for the public good. Please describe how you have worked for the public good in the past and how you expect to continue to do so as a student at the University of Pittsburgh and after graduation.
• A hallmark of students in PittHonors is intellectual curiosity. Please describe how you have demonstrated intellectual curiosity in the past and how you expect to manifest that intellectual curiosity as a student at the University of Pittsburgh.

Step One: Past Evidence

The key to both of the Pitt Honors application essay prompts is that phrase "in the past." This tells you that Pitt wants you to describe specific incidents from your life when you have demonstrated these key qualities. That is, don't just tell them you like to give back, and that you are passionate about learning, give them the evidence!

Try a brainstorming exercise to come up with ideas. Open up a new document, or grab a notebook, and write down as many answers as you can think of to the following questions.

Public Good : What's an issue that you care about? What have you done to raise awareness of that issue? Can you think of a time where you made one or more people’s lives better? What communities are you a part of (school, neighborhood, church, clubs, etc.)? How would they be different if you weren't there? What is something you frequently do that others in your community will miss when you are in college? What in your world wouldn't exist without you, or wouldn't be the same without you?

Intellectual Curiosity : What is a subject or topic you learn just for the fun of it? Describe a time you found yourself immersed in a topic. What did you learn? How did it change how you think about the world, yourself, or others? What was your favorite school project, and how did it inspire you or affect your plans for the future?How do you seek out additional learning outside school, whether it's through programs or independent learning? Are there any barriers you have overcome to gain knowledge? How did you overcome them?

Step Two: Future Plans

Both Pitt Honor essay prompts also ask you to look to the future. This is a perfect opportunity to connect your goals to specific resources at Pitt. This time, start with research. Browse the University of Pittsburgh website (paying particular attention to the Honors College section ) and use it to help answer the following questions.

Public Good : What's the problem in the world that you would most like to solve? How would a degree from Pitt (especially a BPhil from the Honors College) equip you to solve it? What classes (especially honors classes ) or academic resources would you use to prepare yourself? How would you utilize PittServes ? Are there any community service or advocacy organizations at Pitt that you want to join? How do they connect to work you've done in the past, or work you hope to do in the future?

Intellectual Curiosity : What are some specific classes or honors classes , inside or outside your major, that relate to the topic or project you want to discuss in your essay? If you were to apply for an Honors undergraduate fellowship , what project would you use it to fund? Are there any intriguing centers or institutes at Pitt that relate to the topic you want to discuss? Are there any specific professors that interest you, or Pitt grads working in the field you are passionate about?

Remember, these essays should work together! They can complement each other, or even cover the same passion, but you don't want to repeat your specific evidence between essays. Let's take a look at an example student's brainstorming list.

Public Good

• Past evidence
• Volunteering to teach self-expression through art at a camp for children dealing with grief.
• Future plans
• Advocate for art therapy in schools
• Seminar in Composition: Service Learning
• Community research project with a local outreach group for refugees

Intellectual Curiosity

• Art history project- drawing a portrait of mom in ten different historical styles
• Honors research fellowship in art history
• Internship with Collecting Knowledge Pittsburgh consortium
• Studio Arts option in History of Art and Architecture major

As you can see, both brainstorming lists cover the student's interest in art, but mention different resources at Pitt and tell different stories from the student's life.

Step Three: Put it all Together

When you sit down to write the Pitt Honors essays, keep the structure simple and straightforward. You don't have time to set the scene! Instead, begin by summarizing the biggest, most important takeaway from the story you are telling. For example:

• "When I decided to create a Monet-style picture of my mom for her birthday, I had no idea it would lead to a year-long, ten-painting project that would cover the entire history of European art."

Aim to spend two thirds of each essay on "past evidence" (that is, a story about something you've done that shows your contribution or intellectual curiosity) and one third on "future plans" (specific resources at Pitt that connect to your interests and motivations).

Remember, the most important part of writing the Pitt Honors application essays is finding the right topics, so don't skimp on the brainstorming and research. (If you need more help figuring out what to write about, sign up for a Prompt account to get access to our free brainstorming tools .) Happy writing!

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Length of Honors Essays?

I’m just wondering what the length of the Honors essays should be for Pitt. The website says nothing about this, and I tried googling but nobody else seems to have asked this same question. So, how long do you think they should be? Currently mine are 300-400 words, and I’m wondering if they should be longer. Thanks in advance.

I submitted my application around a week ago, and I’m 80% sure that it says on the top of the essay page that they prefer around 200-300 words. Mine was a little longer than 300 though.

That’s what it says for the normal college, not the honors college,

I think H2P said that the Honor’s essay should be a normal structured essay at 650 word length cap.

@coryindahouse there is no length limit but use our tips while you’re writing!

Pitt Honors Essay Tips: -Use the essays to tell us something your application, grades, and test scores cannot. -Don’t summarize or restate your accolades, activities, and awards; use this opportunity to provoke thought and engage your reader. -Proceed as if these essays are the most important factor in the Pitt Honors admissions process.

@hailtopitt1787 The honors college website indicates the average SAT is 1450 for honors students. May I ask whether you know if 1450 is the cutoff for honors. Should one with a lower SAT expect not to get in – maybe shouldn’t bother applying?

@sugaree20 that is an average so some students could have scored lower. The essays are really the chance for you to stand out!

@Sugaree20 Unless you have some other, incredible hook, you need an SAT score of at least 1450.

little worried now because I thought the honors essays were supposed to be the same length as the other ones so mine were between 200 and 300 words.

Quality essays are about content not length. In fact, many believe it’s much more difficult to write a compelling short essay (than a longer one). Editing is challenging.

An outstanding writer I know views it as valuable real estate. Make every word count. Editing is more than correcting sentence structure. It’s about discernment. Do the ideas matter? He judges every sentence with the “who cares” filter. Be brutually honest with yourself and don’t get married to any word, sentence, or thought. The final product will be far shorter than the original.

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University of Pittsburgh | Pitt

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Want to see your chances of admission at University of Pittsburgh | Pitt?

We take every aspect of your personal profile into consideration when calculating your admissions chances.

University of Pittsburgh | Pitt’s 2023-24 Essay Prompts

Personal statement essay.

If you have written a Common Application Personal Essay you are not expected to also submit a Personal Statement below. We will receive your Common App personal essay if completed.

Submission of either the optional personal statement or Common App personal essay is required for scholarship review, if applying without SAT or ACT scores, and may increase the likelihood that you are considered for guaranteed admission programs or given special consideration due to extenuating circumstances.

The personal statement is your opportunity to communicate directly with the Admissions Committee. Applicants are welcome to submit anything that helps tell their story, being mindful and thoughtful about the quantity and quality of information shared. Share information not included elsewhere in your application.

Select-A-Prompt Short Response

Please select one of these questions

What is something you would like to see change in the world? Explain why.

If you had 10 minutes and the attention of a million people, what would your TED Talk be about?

What does it mean to be “educated”?

What will first-time readers think of your college essay?

The Honors Degree program consists of a structured program of curricular and co-curricular activities that provides an enhanced academic experience which includes opportunities for interdisciplinary study. 

The Honors Degree program requires 24 credits to be completed upon graduation. Of these 24 credits, a minimum of 18 credits of David C. Frederick Honors College approved academic course credits and a minimum of 6 experiential course credits are required. The 18 academic course credits may include courses with the David C. Frederick Honors College course attribute value (honors courses); courses with the Civic Learning course attribute value; graduate-level courses; courses which are used to fulfill the following (including courses which do not have the David C. Frederick Honors College attribute): Leadership and Ethics Certificate   ; Conceptual Foundations of Medicine Certificate   ; Engineering for Humanity Certificate   ; Engineering Science   ; Gender, Sexuality, and Women’s Studies Minor   ; Global Health Certificate   ; Pitt Business Honors Program ; Politics and Philosophy, BA   ; Public Communication of Science and Technology Certificate   ;  Undergraduate Certificate in Sustainability   ; and any additional course work beyond those used for the 6 credit experiential course work requirement. The 6 experiential credits may include courses with the Civic Learning + Engagement course attribute value, as well as academic research, independent study, study abroad, internships, or co-op programs, all of which require completed credits to appear on the transcript. In addition to the curricular requirements, students are required to complete the Honors Outside the Classroom Curriculum  (Honors OCC) that provides non-credit enhanced experiences for honors students. A minimum cumulative GPA of 3.25 upon graduation is required for completion of the Honors Degree program. Upon successful completion of the program, students receive a degree/diploma jointly-conferred by the David C. Frederick Honors College and their primary school/college of admission. Students admitted to the Honors Degree program in their first year will be granted priority access to the honors living learning community within the residence halls. Students who remain in good academic standing in the Honors Degree program will also be granted priority registration throughout their time as undergraduate students (priority registration for students admitted to the Honors Degree program as a first-year student begins with spring term enrollment).

Admission Requirements

The admissions process includes criteria for three categories of students:  first-year admits, external transfers, and internal (Pitt) transfers.

• Admission for first-year students is conducted by Pitt Admissions and is based on evaluation of high school transcript, extra-curricular activities, and response to an essay prompt.
• Admission for  external transfer students is conducted by Pitt Admissions and is based on the evaluation of the completion of a minimum of two college semesters (24 credits) that meet the University of Pittsburgh criteria for transfer and review of an essay prompt.
• Admission for internal transfer students (current Pitt students in all campuses) is conducted by the David C. Frederick Honors College and is based on an evaluation of a current Pitt transcript with minimum GPA of 3.50 after completion of two semesters (24 credits), review of an essay prompt, and one academic letter of recommendation from an instructor or academic advisor.

Total Credits: 24

Requirements for students in the school of nursing.

• Minimum GPA: 3.25
• 18 credits of honors-approved course work
• 6 credits of experiential course work
• Completion of the Honors OCC

18 Credits of Honors-Approved Course Work

18 credits minimum from the following:

• NUR 0005 - HONORS FRESHMAN SEMINAR     *
• Any course with the David C. Frederick Honors College course attribute value or Civic Learning course attribute value which also fulfills the Art, Music, Creative Expression, or Literature BSN Curriculum Requirement
• Any course with the David C. Frederick Honors College course attribute value or Civic Learning course attribute value which also fulfills the Anthropology/Culture Requirement: American or Foreign BSN Curriculum Requirement
• Any course with the David C. Frederick Honors College course attribute value or Civic Learning course attribute value which also fulfills the Electives BSN Curriculum Requirement (e.g., NUR 1142 - PROFESSIONAL ISSUES IN ADVANCED PRACTICE NURSING: NURSE ANESTHESIA     )**
• Any course with the David C. Frederick Honors College course attribute value which also fulfills the Senior Special Topics BSN Curriculum Requirement ( NUR 1142 - PROFESSIONAL ISSUES IN ADVANCED PRACTICE NURSING: NURSE ANESTHESIA   , NUR 1143 - FOUNDATIONS OF PERSONALIZED HEALTH: TRANSLATION FROM BASIC RESEARCH TO CLINICAL PRACTICE    , etc.)**
• Any course with the David C. Frederick Honors College course attribute value or Civic Learning course attribute value which also fulfills the Directed Elective BSN Curriculum Requirement**

* Required course for students admitted into the David C. Frederick Honors College concurrently with their admission to the University of Pittsburgh; not required for students admitted to David C. Frederick Honors College after or during their first semester at the University of Pittsburgh

** May also be fulfilled by any graduate-level course (e.g., NUR 2004 - PATHPHYLGY ACROSS LIFE SPAN     , NUR 2010 - HEALTH PROMO/DISEASE PRVNTN     , NUR 2011 - APPLIED STATISTICS FOR EBP     , NUR 2061 - ORGANIZTNL & MANAGEMENT THEORY     ), any additional coursework beyond those used for the 6 credit experiential course work requirement, or courses part of the David C. Frederick Honors College approved programs (including courses which do not have the David C. Frederick Honors College attribute).

6 Credits of Experiential Course Work

6 credits minimum from the following:

REQUIRED COURSES (2-4 credits)

• NUR 1091 - NURSING HONORS CAPSTONE 1     
• ​ NUR 1092 - NURSING HONORS CAPSTONE 2       

SELECT FROM AT LEAST ONE OF THESE OPTIONS (2-4 credits)

• Option One: Mentored Experience ( NUR 1061 - INDEPENDENT STUDY     )
• Option Two: Study Abroad Program (Any study abroad program approved via University of Pittsburgh Panther Program)
• Option Three: Clinical Practice-Oriented Courses ( NUR 1121C - ADVANCED CLINICAL PROBLEM SOLVING CLINICAL     ; NUR 1135 - TRANSITION INTO PROFESSIONAL NURSING PRACTICE CLINICAL     )***

*** Clinical courses should be taken as co-requisites with NUR 1092 - NURSING HONORS CAPSTONE 2      as a venue for disseminating the capstone results; needs to be arranged with permission from course instructors.

Requirements for Students in the School of Social Work

• Minimum GPA: 3.25
• 18 credits of honors-approved course work, 9 credits of which must be from the BASW program. All BASW honors courses are required ( SWRES 2023 - DIRECTED STUDY IN RESEARCH     can be substituted for either SOCWRK 1079 - CHILD WELFARE SERVICES    or SOCWRK 1000 - INTRODUCTION TO SOCIAL WORK    )
• 6 credits of experiential course work ( SOCWRK 1025 - PRACTICUM 1    / SOCWRK 1027 - PRACTICUM 2     can be used for experiential course work)
• Completion of the Honors OCC  

Social Work Course Sequence Options

This presents three ways in which students could complete the 9 credits of Honors-designated BASW classes.

• SOCWRK 1000 - INTRODUCTION TO SOCIAL WORK
• SOCWRK 1079 - CHILD WELFARE SERVICES
• SOCWRK 1020 - INTRODUCTION TO SOCIAL WORK RESEARCH
• SWRES 2023 - DIRECTED STUDY IN RESEARCH

Students must complete an additional 9 credits of Honors-designated courses (3 courses). At least 6 credits (2 courses) of the 9 credits must satisfy social work co-requisites:

• Africana Studies (3 cr)
• Anthropology (3 cr)
• Economics (3 cr)
• English Composition (3 cr)
• Gender, Sexuality, and Women’s Studies (any course with a GSWS class attribute) (3 cr)
• Human Biology (3 cr)
• Political Science (3 cr)
• Psychology (3 cr)
• Religion/Spirituality (any course with a Religious Studies class attribute) (3 cr)
• Sociology (3 cr)
• Statistics (3 cr)

A maximum of 3 credits (1 course) can be any other course with a David C. Frederick Honors College course attribute value.

Craft Your Own Unique Experience

The Frederick Honors College seeks to create an inclusive, equitable, and diverse student body by offering multiple points of admission for prospective, current, and transfer students. Furthermore, our three distinct and flexible academic pathways to graduation offer our students accessible opportunities to craft their own unique experience.

Schedule An Individual Appointment

Apply to the Frederick Honors College as part of your University of Pittsburgh application and gain early access to FHC benefits starting your first term.

As an upper-division student, you can apply to the Honors Degree program to enhance the learning you’re already participating in.

If you are transferring from another institution, we encourage you to apply to our Honors Degree program and find your home as a member of our Frederick community.

Our Location

The David C. Frederick Honors College is located on the 34-37th floors of the Cathedral of Learning on the University of Pittsburgh’s campus in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The 34th floor houses our Student Engagement Center and Academic Advising Center. Students can utilize shared communal spaces to study, prepare a snack, and have class on 35. The Dean’s Office and support staff are on 36, while the Office of National Scholarships and Post-Graduation Success and the Office of Research are on the 37th floor.

University of Pittsburgh 2023-24 Supplemental Essay Prompt Guide 

University of pittsburgh 2023-24 application essay question explanations.

The Requirements: 1 essay of 200-300 words

Supplemental Essay Type(s): Oddball

Hello, future University of Pittsburgh grads. (We’re speaking it into existence!) The prompt below is only for applicants who wish to apply to Pitt Honors. Let’s dive in!

In lieu of an essay or personal statement, we ask interested applicants to answer a short answer question. The Admissions Committee reviews responses for quality rather than length. However, the most effective responses typically range from 200-300 words per question. Responses that are longer or shorter are acceptable. The question is required for Pitt Honors consideration.

Please select one of these questions., what is something you would like to see change in the world explain why..

The Admissions Committee wants to accept ambitious students who want to change the world for the better. So, if you could change anything in the world, what would it be? Take some time to brainstorm and write down anything that comes to mind. Maybe, if you had the power, you would make sure that no one in your city went to bed hungry. Why is this particular issue important to you? What steps would you take to enact this change? If, after reading this prompt, you immediately thought of something on the sillier side (flying cars! superpowers! robot dogs!), don’t be afraid to explore that topic and why it matters, too. As long as you are giving admissions better insight into who you are and what makes you tick, you’re on the right track. Let your imagination run wild and show the University of Pittsburgh admissions committee that you aren’t afraid to dream big.

If you had 10 minutes and the attention of a million people, what would your TED Talk be about?

We at CEA love this question because it’s a unique way of asking applicants the following questions: What do you care about and why? What’s important to you? What information do you wish other people had access to? Start by making a list of topics you could discuss or read about for hours. Maybe you’d like to use your TED Talk platform to speak about media literacy and how we can and should consider what we see online through the lens of the powers that dictate how and when we receive information. Perhaps you’d want to discuss AI art, plagiarism, and how it threatens human artists’ livelihoods. What keeps you up at night? What kind of positive effect do you want to have on the world? These are the questions you should be asking yourself when brainstorming for this prompt. Bonus points if you can speak to how a Pittsburgh education will prepare you to address this issue head-on in the future! 

What does it mean to be “educated”?

Since this question is for those applying to the honors college, we can assume that most applicants answering it are high-achievers in the traditional sense. But we all know that’s not the only type of education out there. Pitt is looking for a deeply considered, creatively written essay , so as we here at CEA so often recommend, grab a sheet of paper and start brainstorming! Which words, feelings, or characteristics do you associate with the word “educated?” Are there any people you can think of—people in your life, thought leaders, or even fictional characters—who don’t have a formal education but whom you would consider to be highly educated? What different kinds of education can you think of? In what ways are they different and in what ways are they fundamentally the same? Bonus points if you can describe how a Pitt degree would educate you in more than one way! 

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2 Great University of Pittsburgh Essay Examples

The University of Pittsburgh, or Pitt, is a public research university just a few miles east of downtown Pittsburgh. Pitt enrolls almost 20,000 undergraduates, offers 17 different undergraduate and graduate schools, and has several alumni currently playing in the NFL, most notably three-time Defensive Player of the Year Aaron Donald. 

That combination of academic variety and athletic notoriety makes Pitt one of the most popular public universities in the country, which means you want to make sure your essays will help you  stand out from the crowd. In this post, we’ll break down two essays submitted by real students to Pitt, so that you can get a sense for what admissions officers are looking for.

Read our University of Pittsburgh essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

Example 1 – Personal Statement for Pitt

Submission of either the optional personal statement or Common App personal essay is required for scholarship review, if applying without SAT or ACT scores, and may increase the likelihood that you are considered for guaranteed admission programs or given special consideration due to extenuating circumstances. 

The personal statement is your opportunity to communicate directly with the Admissions Committee. Applicants are welcome to submit anything that helps tell their story, being mindful and thoughtful about the quantity and quality of information shared. Share information not included elsewhere in your application. (750 words)

I’ve always wanted to know more about the human body. One day, while out walking, my dad explained to me the science behind his diabetes. He detailed the function of the pancreas, and how without it functioning properly, his blood sugar needs to be well managed in order for him to be healthy. I went home and researched the pancreas, and the more I knew about this one organ, the more I wanted to know about the rest of them. Then I was visiting my uncle in the hospital. His kidney had failed, and he was about to go through surgery. Through listening to the doctor explain my uncle’s ailment, I learned more about the function of the kidney and why it’s possible to live with only one of them. 

Both these experiences opened my eyes to the field of medicine, and ever since, I’ve been drawn to the science behind it. From reading textbooks about anatomy and microbiology to participating in summer programs in neuroscience and genetics, I’ve strived to immerse myself in many different fields of science to gain a wide range of knowledge. 

While I enjoy science in general, I know that I want to specifically become a physician because of what being a doctor means. With their vast knowledge, they have the ability to solve almost any medical problem and can do so in almost the blink of an eye. Having the knowledge to consider a patient’s symptoms and quickly make a diagnosis that could be the difference between life and death draws me into this career path. I want the opportunity to make an impact on people’s lives, and a hospital is one of the most critical places where I can make an impact on others. 

When looking at the opportunities Pitt provides for students looking into the medical field, I stumbled upon AMSA, a student organization for pre-medical students. This organization provides opportunities for students to shadow medical professionals, be paired with mentors who are also on the pre-med path, and partake in cutting-edge research labs. At Pitt, I would join the AMSA in order to pursue as many opportunities as I can to be a successful pre-med student. 

Further, I am interested in many of the Biology elective courses provided at Pitt. The Cell and Molecular Biology of Disease class piqued my interest as I am interested in the diseases that affect the structure and function of our body. From my learning in AP Biology and Anatomy to my internship in Genetics, I have been open to learning more about how the human body works in face of threats such as pathogens and other illnesses. At Pitt, I would take this Biology class in order to further my understanding of science and prepare myself for a future in medicine. 

My dream is to become a physician, and I believe I can most successfully reach this goal at the University of Pittsburgh.

What the Essay Did Well

The author has chosen to use this space to provide more context about the major they hope to pursue in college, making this essentially a “Why Major?” essay. They do a great job of including the details you hope to see in that kind of essay, including how they first became interested in medicine and how they envision Pitt helping them realize their dream of becoming a physician.

Additionally, the student uses their interest in medicine to highlight aspects of their personality that will make them an asset not only to a hospital, but also to Pitt’s campus community. For example, in the third paragraph, they say they want to be a physician because of the potential to be the difference between “life and death” for a patient. This explanation shows that the student is mature, altruistic, and unafraid of responsibility, all qualities that admissions officers value highly in applicants.

As noted above, the student also does a great job of explaining how they see Pitt specifically helping them on their journey towards becoming a doctor. Pretty much every school has resources for pre-med students, but by highlighting the student organization AMSA, as well as several specific courses they would like to take, the student shows admissions officers that they see Pitt, not just any old school, playing an essential role in helping them realize their medical dreams.

What Could Be Improved 

Technically speaking, this essay does do what the prompt asks, by “shar[ing] information not included elsewhere in your application,” as Pitt does not have a “Why Major?” prompt. However, when given the opportunity to write a personal statement , your primary goal should be addressing the following four core questions:

• “Who Am I?”
• “Why Am I Here?”
• “What is Unique About Me?”
• “What Matters to Me?”

These questions are not answered by this essay. Admissions officers are looking for a narrative which shares the author’s personality, feelings, and perspective, and unfortunately a “Why Major?” essay isn’t the best way of doing that. 

Including details about their interest in medicine isn’t a bad idea by any means, but the essay would be more informative if their overall topic was, say, their passion for “ mak[ing] an impact on people’s lives.” Then, they could describe several examples that showcase their selfless nature–for example, helping their elderly neighbor with groceries during the pandemic–with their intended career being one of them.

On a more technical level, although this essay is well-organized and has all the components of a “Why Major” essay, it would benefit from more showing, not telling . While we get a clear sense of how this student’s interest in medicine developed through conversations with his family, and then independently through textbooks and summer programs, that development would be more engaging if we felt like we were going on this journey with the student, rather than just getting a play-by-play.

For example, say the line “ With their vast knowledge, they have the ability to solve almost any medical problem and can do so in almost the blink of an eye” was replaced with with something like:

“While volunteering at a local hospital, I never ceased to be amazed by the doctors’ ability to rifle through towering stacks of charts and tests, the numbers making my own head spin vicariously, and instantaneously synthesize the complicated, often contradictory information.”

This version makes the same point in a much more engaging way, by placing us directly in the scene, and also includes information about how the student reacted to the hospital environment, which gives us a clearer sense of how their interest in medicine has shaped their personality more broadly.

Finally, one of the basic rules of college essay writing is to use as much of the space given to you as possible. College applications are limiting by nature, so you don’t want to voluntarily limit yourself even further by leaving words on the table. 

This student has used less than 500 of 750 possible words, which means they’re missing out on an opportunity to share more details of their personality with admissions officers. While you obviously don’t want to pad your essay with unnecessary information just to add words, 250 words is more than enough to say something substantive about yourself, and that extra information could be just the thing that convinces admissions officers to accept you.

Example 2 – Adapting to a New Environment

Black hole! Atom bomb! Brain functioning! Want to be a doctor!? Engineer!? Scientist!?

Here’s a ball. When you toss it upwards, there comes a point where it stops, reaches terminal velocity, and moves its way back to its starting point. That’s free fall and part of the one-dimensional motion.

Here is someone flying kites, wondering about their velocity, judging their height, and the length of the shadow, and tracing their motion. It is no longer just formulas, theorems, derivations, integration and differentiation, determinants, and determining permutations-combinations.

The transition from grade 10 to grade 11 class is definitely hard, crucial, and perplexing. Apart from the inner struggle, confusion, and dilemma of choosing the right stream that will determine one’s career path, a student faces pressure from external factors as well. Be it from parents, relatives, friends, or teachers, every student receives a plethora of advice, building the ongoing confusion in their mind. My mind was constantly juggling between the pros and cons of every field I was considering or was recommended to consider. My mind was in a state of confusion about whether I should prefer a high-paying job and go with the “popular subjects” despite having little interest in them, or if I should follow my heart and study the subjects that I love.

I finally decided to choose a stream that many would not. I heard many voices say, “Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, and Biology are not the ideal subject choices”. Hearing these words made me determined to prove my choices right and I soldiered on with my selection.

One of the major challenges was handling the rich curriculum of grade 11 and balancing the course curriculum with preparations for competitive exams. I was struggling to maintain my grades and hit the equilibrium that I needed to succeed in both of these concurrent responsibilities. I kept trying and refused to give up. My parents supported me constantly and conferred encouraging words upon me, motivating me more than the dopamine increase that coffee could ever give me. 

With mere two months from my high school graduation, I can proudly say that I persisted!

I have attained stability and equilibrium within my studies. I have also picked up on how to give proportionate time to every subject, along with steady participation in extracurricular activities, competitive exam preparation, and focus on my mental peace. J. Peterson remarks that “Experience is the best teacher”.

Indeed, I fathomed that I would walk my own path, however long it would take me to see it through. If I want to have a good life with a successful career and emotional satisfaction I have to work hard and I am prepared to do so. The results of my own decisions and actions will always mean much more than what has been bestowed upon me. I would risk it all again because I know that I can only enjoy what I have earned and what I have not earned is neither for me to claim nor find fulfillment in. Breaking away from the risk-averse crowd that holds an exaggerated fear of what can be lost and blazing my own path has been thoroughly refreshing, to say the least. I trust myself to defy the odds to achieve an unimaginable level of happiness and satisfaction that follows.

Please note that this essay was written by a non-native English speaker, so grammatical and phrasing issues will not be discussed in this analysis. While these issues would be problematic for a native speaker, admissions officers understand that non-native speakers face additional challenges in writing their essays, so they won’t judge minor linguistic mistakes.

Wow! This essay starts off with a whirlwind that immediately sucks us into the student’s train of thought (ironically, just like a black hole), and concludes with an emphatic statement about their chosen area of study. Writing a strong hook is difficult, but this student has done a fantastic job of making the essay engaging from the first word.

Furthermore, they maintain an honest, open tone throughout the essay. That candidness is crucial to any college essay, as it proves to admissions officers that the way the student is presenting themselves is genuine. Lines like “My mind was constantly juggling between the pros and cons of every field” and “Hearing these words made me determined to prove my choices right and I soldiered on with my selection” present their thoughts and feelings in a way that is personal, but that readers can still relate to.

Most importantly, the last paragraph includes several bigger picture lessons the student learned from their “new environment” of 11th grade. While the prompt doesn’t explicitly ask them to include takeaways, when reading any college essay admissions officers want to know why this story is relevant to what you would bring to their campus community, and this student’s last paragraph lays out a whole host of ways this experience will impact their mindset moving forward.

While, as outlined above, the experience the writer discusses was clearly formative for them, writing about academic challenges is a cliche essay topic , and thus one we recommend avoiding. Just about every student struggles to some extent with the transition from 10th to 11th grade, which means making that topic feel truly personal is incredibly difficult. Remember, the point of the college essay is to help yourself stand out. So, while you want to pick a topic that is genuinely meaningful to you, you also want to pick one that will help distinguish you from other applicants.

Additionally, the student writes “I finally decided to choose a stream that many would not. I heard many voices say, ‘Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, and Biology are not the ideal subject choices.’” While these sentiments may have been ones the student often heard, STEM subjects are actually more commonly selected as intended majors than subjects like English, history, or a foreign language, which makes the line about “choos[ing] a stream that many would not” feel somewhat contrived.

As a general rule, you want to avoid making broad statements of any kind in your college essay, and instead keep a narrow focus on your experience. For example, this student could replace these lines with something like:

“My friends found peering down a microscope all day to be good for nothing other than developing a bad neck cramp, so choosing to focus my grade 11 studies on biology meant I wouldn’t know most of the people in my classes. But I decided to take the plunge anyways: I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see, with my very own eyes, the cellular interactions that form the basis of all life.”

This version doesn’t make any big picture claims about the popularity of various subjects, and instead keeps the story grounded in the student’s story, and the particular obstacles they faced in choosing an academic path. Additionally, we get more details about what exactly drew them to STEM subjects, as right now their interest in those subjects seems to be largely grounded just in the fact that nobody else thought they should study them.

Finally, while this prompt doesn’t have a hard word count, this essay is over double the suggested length. As frustrating as word counts can be to navigate, they exist for a reason, as admissions officers have thousands of applications to evaluate and thus don’t have the time to read a novel for every student. Plus, overshooting the word count so substantially may suggest to admissions officers you have trouble following directions, which generally isn’t a quality they look favorably upon.

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay 

Want feedback on your Pitt essays before you submit? That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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