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How to Write a Great Wedding Speech

writing grooms speech

A person’s wedding day is one of the biggest moments of their life, and when it comes to choosing someone to give a speech, they’re going to pick someone who means a lot to them. It may be the best man or maid of honor, or it may be another loved one who’s in attendance. Either way, if you’re the chosen one, you have a big task ahead of you. But writing a wedding speech doesn’t have to be hard when you follow these tips:

Start by Brainstorming.

Most people are honored when the future bride and groom ask them to give a speech at the wedding, but they may not know where to start. If you’re not sure what you want to stay, brainstorming can help. Write down a list of personality traits, funny stories, touching memories and anything else you can think of that shines a positive light on the couple. Consider asking others who know them well for ideas to add to your list. Once you’ve completed your list, you’ll have several options on what to include.

Introduce Yourself and Thank the Couple.

Even once you have your brainstormed list together, it be difficult to know how to open the speech. The safest thing to do is to introduce yourself and explain how you know the bride and/or groom. During this introduction, you can also thank the couple for inviting you and the other guests to share in this big moment. If their parents or other relatives helped throw the wedding, it’s also appropriate to thank them for having you.

Share a Personal Story.

Now, it’s time to add a personal touch. This is where your list of brainstormed ideas can come come into play. A funny or touching story about how the bride and groom met is always a good idea. If you’re the bride’s sister — and you often played wedding during your childhood — you can touch on that. If you’re the groom’s roommate — and you watched him frantically clean up your apartment before his future bride came over for the first time — you can share that. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something that will make the audience laugh, cry or relate to the sentiment.

Consider Using a Relevant Quote.

Something else you may consider adding to your speech is a famous quote about love and marriage from a historic figure, a piece of literature, from the bride and groom’s religious faith or anything else that may seem relevant. Just be careful that it fits in with the the speech and doesn’t seem awkward. For example, if your entire speech is packed with jokes or has a lighthearted tone, it may feel odd to throw a poignant quote about love from the Bible or Shakespeare into the mix.

Give Some Words of Encouragement.

Once you’ve shared some personal stories about the bride and groom, it’s time to start wrapping it up. You can transition into an ending by offering some words of encouragement to the happy couple. Tell them you knew from the moment they met that they were perfect for each other, or tell them what you wish for their future. If you’re single, tell them you hope to one day find a love like they share, and if you’re married, consider some fun advice for their own married years.

Avoid Making a Faux Pas.

Now that you have the bulk of the speech written, look it over to make sure you haven’t included something you shouldn’t. Avoid anything negative about the bride, groom or their loved ones, including insults. Don’t bring up old boyfriends and girlfriends or ex spouses. Do not be crude, use curse words or use explicit sexual material. Remember, their parents, grandparents and coworkers may be in the audience. Finally, avoid copying a speech from the Internet or a book, and don’t be too generic.

End With a Toast to the Couple.

Now that you’ve written your speech and gone over it to make sure the material is appropriate, end it with a toast. Ask the audience to raise their glasses to the bride and groom. Make it short and sweet.

Practice in Front of Others

Finally, practice the speech in front of other people before the big day. This not only gives you practice delivering the speech in front of an audience, it allows you to get some feedback from others. Perhaps the speech is too long or too silly. Maybe you’re not speaking loud or enough or looking at the audience enough. Ask your practice audience for any constructive feedback so you’re ready to do it right on day of the wedding.


writing grooms speech

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Everything to Know About Your Groom Speech: Tips, Advice, and Examples

All you need is 15 minutes to prepare.

writing grooms speech

Photo by Chi-Chi Ari

In This Article

While it’s not a steadfast requirement, a groom's speech adds a powerful pre or post-dinner touch to the wedding if you address the crowd for a few short minutes. I’m confident that when you finish this article, you’ll actually WANT to say a few words.

Meet the Expert

Pete Honsberger has been a serial groomsman, speaker, and wedding toast advisor for most of his adult life. When it comes to wedding toasts, he's seen just about everything.

As a guy who grabbed the mic at my own wedding, and who has spent years cultivating wedding speech stories for my book Wedding Toasts 101: The Guide to the Perfect Wedding Speech , I can honestly say that it’s a beautiful moment and one you won’t want to skip.  

And here’s the best part: Reading this is the only major preparation you’ll need to complete. So follow me and let’s set you up for success! 

Groom Speech Tips

You only need a few minutes to prepare, and about two minutes to deliver your speech . This is your chance to recognize the hard work that others (and you) have put into this amazing day, to thank everyone for giving you the gifts of their time (and money, haha!), and to add another twinkle in your love’s eyes.  

My advice? Keep it brief, but make it count. From my experience and those that I’ve witnessed, it’s so worth it.  

Groom Speech Preparation

In my experience, you won’t need more than 15 minutes to complete all the steps in advance. Just be sure to have a tidbit for each and you’ll look like a pro. Most importantly, you’ll show the crowd, your family, and your partner that you genuinely appreciate them.  

On the big day, it's customary to give your speech either right before or right after dinner is served. You'll want to speak to your planner in advance about fitting your toast into the reception timeline , but once it's go-time, simply gesture for a microphone and ask for the guests’ attention.

Groom Speech Template

To begin, simply prepare these five steps.

Step 1: Give Thanks 

Regardless of wedding size, you’ve had people traveling distances and giving their time to be in attendance. Most (and hopefully all) have brought you gifts , many of the pieces of green paper that will serve you very well as you start your new life. And even more than that, they deemed you important enough to spend a day of their lives participating in your celebration. 

Any and all of these efforts deserve a huge thanks. Now’s your chance to share that gratitude with everyone directly. In spite of our best efforts, my wife and I were not able to physically speak to every one of our 284 guests during our 2018 wedding. You likely won’t either, so use this opportunity to address everyone at once, and don’t forget to put some emotion on display.  

For example, a simple way to thank everyone would be to say:

"The only thing I want to say is WOW. People have told me this would be the best day of my life, and I can honestly say it’s true, because of all of you (pointing at the crowd), and especially you (pointing at your partner). I cannot thank you all enough for being here."

You may choose to keep it even more simple, perhaps something like:

"I’m a lucky guy. To have friends like you, family like the [your last name]s, in-laws like the [in-laws’ last name]s, and a wife like [name of your partner] is all I could ever ask for. Thank you to everyone…and don’t let me down on the dance floor."

Whatever you do, make sure to show love and respect for your in-laws. Whether they contributed $1 or $100,000 to the wedding, remember that you’re marrying them as well as your partner. 

Step 2: Give One Compliment to Your Partner

At its root, this person is what your wedding day is all about. Cue up a classy and perhaps playful compliment about their dress or tux, the work they did to make the day possible, their patience in dealing with you, their resilience in wedding planning while you were out of town on a business trip, or simply their unwavering love throughout a challenging process.  

If you’re currently planning your wedding, you know exactly what I mean by “challenging process.” With so much to do and so many decisions to be made, there’s no way it could have gotten done without your better half.

Tell them this publicly. You only need one or two lines to share your appreciation and to make their eyes sparkle and their face blush with slightly embarrassed happiness.  

For example:

“[Name of your partner], I’ll never forget seeing you walk down the aisle today. You are beautiful in more ways than I can count.”  

If you know your partner would prefer something playful/funny, you can put on a very serious face and then say something like:

“[Name of your partner], you must be a parking ticket because you have FINE written all over you right now!” 

Then pause for the inevitable roar in the room. 

Step 3: Recall One Memory 

You don’t have a lot of time for this, so pick out one noteworthy anecdote or short memory from your relationship, from the wedding planning process , or from your interactions with their family and friends. Share your most compelling and enthusiastic version of that story and you’ll delight the whole crowd.  

You may have already been through the best man and maid of honor toasts , so this is your chance to toss in your two cents. The people don’t need a whole nickel here, so to speak, just two cents will do. Keep it short and sweet, and be sure to share something that hasn’t already been said.  

“When [name of partner] and I first met, we talked for hours until our friends all wanted to leave. I started to panic since I didn’t want to stop getting to know them. So I suggested we keep the party going by getting some pizza while everyone else went home. We’re only here tonight because my [husband or wife] likes pizza!”

Here’s another idea:

“When I first met my father-in-law, he asked me what my intentions were with his daughter. I told him it was to treat her like a queen no matter where the relationship went. That’s what I said out loud. What I really meant was, ‘my intentions are to survive through this meal’. But I’ve made it this far!”

Step 4: Share One Reception Comment 

Whether it’s about the dinner being currently served, the signature cocktail available at the bar, the DJ/band, or the overall atmosphere in the reception hall, pull out one comment to share aloud related to the evening’s experience.  

The purpose of this is to connect the whole room with your vision for the night. If you want the dance floor absolutely packed, speak it into existence. If you have a specially requested song you want to tease, mention it here.  

For example, my wedding included a Serbian dance called the “Kolo” in the middle of the reception. This was an opportunity for me to speak to that contingent of guests, to let them know that we would be participating in that tradition. For the uninitiated in that culture, it was an invitation to learn something new in a fun way. The pictures of that dance speak for themselves—a joyous mixture of great and horrible Kolo dancing from guests of several different backgrounds having fun together.  

Maybe your reception comment is about a special treat that someone’s grandmother has added to the dessert table. Or maybe the décor was chosen for a personal reason. Heck, this is even an opportunity to explain the table favors and how you want people to enjoy them.  

“You might notice the noise-makers in the middle of your table right now. And you might be wondering why those are there. All I can say is to put one in your pocket now and trust me. You’ll know when it’s time to use them.”  

Step 5: Give Thanks Again

One more round of thanks will put a bow on your short, sweet, and powerful groom toast. If there’s anyone you forgot to thank the first time, now’s your chance. For your new spouse, their family, and yours, this is one more well-deserved shout-out to them.

It may be in your favor to mention the priest or officiant of the wedding, as well as the staff who is working hard to make the reception flawless and fun for the guests. A half-joking “please give an extra scoop of the mac & cheese to Uncle John and pour the drinks strong for my college friends” will earn you a good-hearted chuckle as you wrap things up.  

You’re welcome to ask people to raise a glass to share a toast. May I suggest, however, that the toast is to your partner, your families, and all of the friends here tonight.  

What to Know About Virtual Toasts

If the wedding was unexpectedly modified, made virtual , or downsized due to conditions outside of your control, then attendees have gone through even more to be present. If they are attending via Zoom or live stream , they’re sending the message that they’ll be there for you even if they can’t enjoy the open bar (which, let’s be honest, is a sacrifice).  

At my brother’s wedding in the summer of 2020, a party of 200 was reduced to about 50. Those who attended went to great lengths to still be there amidst uncertainty. So many would-be-guests showed their love in different ways, like commenting/making song requests on the live stream, pre-recording messages of congratulations for the couple, replicating the reception in their own homes by dressing up to dance in their living rooms and so many others. While it should have been sad to have loved ones miss out in-person, the creativity and support were overwhelming and absolutely unforgettable.   

Remember this when preparing your speech and adjust steps one, four, and five accordingly. After all, your goal is to connect with everyone on Zoom just as you want to connect with every guest in the room.

Congrats! Now that you've mastered your toast, feel free to share the below link with your best man to ensure that his speech is just as impactful.

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writing grooms speech

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How to Write The Perfect Groom’s Speech (With Examples)

Published date: 2nd April 2021 | Author: Hollie Bond

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How to Write a Grooms Speech

Funny groom's speech ideas, emotional groom's speech ideas, unusual groom's speech ideas, famous groom's speech ideas.

No idea where to start when it comes to making a speech on your big day? We’ve compiled all the best tips and inspiration to help you write and deliver the best groom’s speech ever.

The groom’s speech is always a highlight at a wedding. It’s a chance for guests to hear all the romantic and heartfelt sentiments that you, as a newlywed, will be experiencing.

It’s also a feel-good part of the day where you get to acknowledge all your guests and thank individuals who have helped you bring this special day together. Everyone in the ‘audience’ will be friends and family, so put any public speaking nerves aside, as everyone will be willing you on to do your best and if you stumble over your words or well up when you’re talking about your new wife or husband – well, they’ll just love you even more!

We’ve rounded up 40 of the best groom’s speech ideas, with inspiration for funny, emotional, and unusual speeches, plus examples from famous grooms, to help you write your own Oscar-worthy speech.

What should the groom say in his speech?

Good news! The groom’s speech is one of the easiest speeches to write and deliver as it is essentially just one big thank you.

A groom’s speech should focus on thanking everyone who has helped make the wedding day special including the mother and father of the bride (or equivalent), the guests, his own parents, the best man, the bridesmaids, ushers, and anyone else who has contributed to the wedding.

The other main focus of the groom’s speech is to lavish praise and compliments on his new wife (or groom) and to tell them how happy he is to be married. Finally, the groom should raise a toast to his new wife or husband.

How long should a groom’s speech be?

Any speech at a wedding, including the groom’s speech, should be no longer than ten minutes. When written down this is approximately 1500 words, but make sure to time yourself before the big day in case you’re a particularly slow or fast speaker.

Ten minutes is the ideal length to get across everything you need to say, but not so long that your guests get bored and start to fidget. If you’re not a confident speaker you can always just say a few lines lasting a couple of minutes.

Less is definitely more when it comes to speeches. That said, if it’s too short you could sound flippant! Anywhere between five and ten minutes and you’re in safe territory.

1. Don’t be too formal

Unless you’re known for your love of a bit of pomp and circumstance then you don’t suddenly have to become the master of all things etiquette and stuffy speech-making just because it’s your wedding day. Your guests will want to hear you speak in your usual way, and as long as you cover the expected formalities like thanking everyone for coming, both sets of parents, the bridal party, and anyone who went above and beyond to help you with something like making a cake, then you don’t have to worry about anything else.

2. Focus on the start

If you can get guests smiling from the very beginning of the speech, then both you and your guests will feel relaxed and enjoy the rest of it. Have a think about something humorous that specifically relates to your guests or wedding situation rather than an obvious/ heard-100-times-before gag. Perhaps you’re known for your non-stop chatter, so you could open with “I know you’re all thinking you should take a loo break before I start talking, but I promise I’ll keep this as short (as I can!)…”

3. Don’t forget the main purpose of the speech

A romantic and heartfelt ode to the person you’ve just married should be the main focus of this speech. Try to avoid just saying empty words that anyone could say like “she/he is wonderful, beautiful, kind” etc. Think of specific things that your other half has done that makes you proud/ really love them/ that makes them unique. Anecdotes and stories that highlight a personal trait are the best way to do this.

4. Be romantic, not cheesy

Try not to fall into the trap of sounding like a compilation of all the lines you might find inside a cheesy Valentine’s Day card. Instead of “I’m so lucky to have found you” think about “My parents always told me nothing good would come of always being late, but I’m so glad to say I proved them wrong. I missed my train (as usual) that fateful day and the best thing ever came out of it… you.” Or a simple list of all the things that you particularly love about your partner, from the way they constantly fiddle with their hair to the way they talk to your dog like it’s a human.

5. Don’t give out gifts

This isn’t prize-giving at school and giving out weddinggifts to bridesmaids and ushers etc. will just take up valuable partying time. Give your bridal party their gifts in the morning when you’re all getting ready as it’ll be more personal in private.

6. Think about timing

A speech around the 7 – 10 minutes mark is considered the perfect amount of time for a groom’s speech (written down that’s about 1200 – 1400 words). Any less and you’ll sound a bit flippant. Any more and guests will start getting bored.

7. Don’t go into massive amounts of detail

We all know someone that tells a story as intricate and descriptive as a Tolstoy novel and how we automatically glaze over as soon as they start speaking. Don’t be that person. Your guests don’t want War and Peace – they want a nice easy to listen to a speech that doesn’t mentally challenge them, especially once they’re a few drinks down.

8. Find the perfect quote

If you’re not a wordsmith, let someone else more qualified sum up your feelings for you. There are plenty of amazing quotes from authors and famous orators out there and one or two of them may be exactly what you need to succinctly put all your feelings about the day and your partner into one neat sentence. Just make sure to acknowledge the original author!

9. Give your partner a promise

A lovely way to be funny and also heartfelt at the same time is to make a promise or two to your partner in front of your guests. Don’t just repeat your vows here, promise something that is unique to her/him. Perhaps she’s an avid rock climber and you’re more of a couch potato? Promise you’ll learn to love her crazy hobby. Maybe you’re not exactly Heston Blumenthal in the kitchen? Promise you’ll learn to cook your partner more than beans on burnt toast. Perhaps she/he is the world’s greatest Swiftie. Promise you’ll learn the lyrics to all their favourite Taylor Swift songs… you get the idea.

10. Prepare the delivery

The biggest mistake you can make is to write a great speech on paper and then not read it out loud before the big day. You need to practice talking slowly and confidently and leaving little pauses after funny bits (for any of the slower guests to get it!). Also, some written sentences don’t sound great when spoken, so reading out loud will help you to iron out any clunky syntax. Plus, you’ll want to know the speech almost by heart so that you don’t have your head in a piece of paper reading word-for-word on the day. Eye contact with your guests is one of the most important parts of delivering a successful speech.

You don’t have to be the next Michael McIntyre, but giving your guests a giggle and making them smile is the quickest way to make both them and you feel at ease with the speech.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to pepper your speech with gags and silly one-liners to make it funny. Instead, just focus on things that are unique to you as a couple or for the audience (perhaps the region you’re from for example) and have a bit of fun at your/ their expense. Be careful not to reference something that only a few members of the audience will understand as that will very quickly alienate your other guests.

Here are ten funny speech ideas to take inspiration from:

Focus on your differences

Comparing your differences can be an easy way to make the guests smile. Are you obsessively tidy and your new partner a bit of a slob perhaps? Can you cook like a pro while they can’t even heat soup without burning the place down? Whatever your differences, exaggerate them and make a joke out of them to get guests giggling.

Tell the crowd something they don’t know

Do you know some funny things about your bride/groom’s past that others in the audience might not? Now’s a good time to reveal that she/he did some hilarious hobbies or geeky things as a child. Perhaps they have a funny secret crush or can do a really odd trick.

Exaggerate your weaknesses

Putting yourself down and acknowledging something everyone knows about you can be a good way to make guests smile. E.g. “Would you believe it? The bride/ groom has finally given up holding out for Ryan Gosling and decided a bald, beer-swilling Insurance Broker from Newcastle is a better option instead.”

Here’s a good example of a funny, self-deprecating groom’s speech:

Make a joke about the wedding itself

“Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There’s a medical team waiting outside the building and I’d like them to have a clear run when my in-laws are presented with the final bill.”

“I’d like to thank Mastercard and Visa, without whom this would never have been possible. My wife and I will be forever in their debt.”

Mother-in-law jokes

These always go down well if you actually get on with her! Reference something unique to your mother in law like her shopping obsession or how long she takes to get ready perhaps. Or keep it classic with: “I’ve been told that this is usually one of the only times in a man’s life when he can be around his wife/husband and mother-in-law and not be interrupted – so hang in there, I’m going to take full advantage.”

“In [in-law’s names], I have found the perfect in-laws. I always cringe when I hear jokes about difficult mothers-in-law because my own experience has been far from that stereotype. [Turn to in-laws and whisper audibly] Did I read that right? Please don’t hurt me…”

Tell a story

If your first date, engagement or the time you asked the in-laws if you could marry their daughter/ son has a funny element to it, go ahead and tell the story. Just remember not to kill the humour with too many details.

Talk about your partner’s quirks

Does your wife/ husband have any weird habits? Divulge a few to the guests but make it romantic by saying how much you love her/him even though they… still get drunk after one glass of wine/ still go to bed with a teddy bear at the age of 33/ always get the words to songs wrong/ always have to be the last person on the dance floor even when the lights come up…

Make the thank yous funny

Instead of a boring list of thank yous, try and inject a bit of fun. For example: “I’d like to thank my mother in law for passing on such wonderful traits to her daughter; her kindness, her humour, though unfortunately, an unwavering support for Arsenal has also slipped down the genetic line.”

Trip the guests up

Everyone expects the first line of the groom’s speech to mention his new wife/ husband. Momentarily confuse them with a sentence like this: “My ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend and I would like to thank you all for coming today” – and then pause while they work it out and laugh.

Use props or videos

If there’s a funny prop or a video that you can show during the speech go for it, plus holding something or giving yourself a break in video form can help stop the nerves.

Leave guests guessing

It’s fine to reference the stag do , but don’t tell a long and boring story about something that happened while you were on it. That’ll only be funny to the stags. It’s best to mention something and leave the end of the story untold as a cliff-hanger so that guests can fill in the blanks with all manner of funny thoughts.

As a groom, you have free reign to get emotional and if you’re not normally an emotional person it will really surprise and delight guests as they will realise just how much the day and marrying your loved one means to you.

You don’t want to get too over the top though and make your guests feel uncomfortable. Keep the really mushy stuff for your bride or groom on your honeymoon and instead focus on the sort of emotional sentiments that will make guests smile.

Here are some ideas for how to make your groom’s speech just the right amount of emotional:

Look guests in the eye

The quickest way to get guests to buy into what you’re saying and to feel the raw emotion of your words is by looking them in the eyes as you deliver each sentence. If you’ve had a difficult time in the run-up to the wedding and are really grateful for the support they’ve all shown, say so while looking sincerely at the guests you really want to show your gratitude to.

Put your heart into the thank yous

If you don’t want to make the thank yous funny or witty, how about making them emotional by not just thanking the person for what they did, but by explaining how much it meant to you.

Mention absent friends

If a member of your family or a friend isn’t at your wedding and is greatly missed then make sure to raise a toast to their memory. You don’t want to be morbid, but a few words about how much the person/ people meant to you both and how much you miss them, followed by inviting all guests to raise a toast to them is a lovely emotional gesture.

Let yourself feel the emotion

If you feel yourself welling up don’t stop the emotion – guests won’t mind if your voice breaks a bit or if you have to take a deep breath. In fact, it just shows how much the words actually mean to you.

Be creative when it comes to describing your partner

If you want to inject emotion into your speech, don’t just say sentences that could describe any bride/ groom. Think specifically about your partner and be poetic when you talk about them and it will be much more sincere than just saying: “My new wide is beautiful” or “My husband is kind”. Here’s a lovely example from a groom’s speech about how to reference your new spouse:

Want to make sure your speech is unforgettable? Make it unusual and unique with some of these stand-out suggestions…

Rap the speech

Got a hidden talent for rapping (or if you don’t it can still be hilarious), then why not attempt to rap the speech instead. You could do part of it normally, before breaking out into a fun rap perhaps.

Sing the speech

Got a good set of pipes on you? How about singing your speech instead? Choose a famous song and then write personalised lyrics to fit. You can make it funny or heartfelt – whatever suits your personality best. Having the words on PowerPoint beside you can help in case some guests miss the words.

Write your speech on blackboards around the room

If the idea of public speaking really is too much for you and threatens to ruin your whole wedding day, why not write it up on blackboards that can be displayed around the venue for guests to read instead. You could even pre-record a video of you reading the speech too. Guests who know and love you will appreciate the effort and know how stressful making a speech in person would be for you.

Speak in a different language

Are you marrying someone who is originally from another country and has another language that you don’t speak? Impress both your new wife or husband and especially their family members who make not speak your language by learning some lines in secret in their language. Starting the speech in English for example before changing seamlessly into French will wow your audience and be very emotional for your new partner.

Get other people to do it for you

Track down important guests who can’t make it to the wedding or some famous people if you can and ask them to say something special that you can record and play as part of the speech.

Borrow the words

If you don’t want to make a traditional groom’s speech, how about performing a poem or reading out the lyrics to a song that means a lot to you as a couple (just don’t make it as awkward as Pam and Mick’s rendition in Gavin & Stacey!)

Write a story

Why not make your groom’s speech sound like the start of a novel or children’s story in a ‘once upon a time’ format, but insert yourself and your new spouse as the main characters. After all, your wedding is part of your love story and you can end your speech with a toast to your happily ever after.

Get your guests involved

Don’t like the idea of all eyes being on you? Surprise your wife/ husband by prepping guests beforehand to each say a sentence. Or you can encourage audience participation by turning your speech into a quiz about you as a couple/ the wedding day.

Perform a musical mash-up

Make it themed

If your bride or groom has a love for something specific, theme your entire speech around it. Take these maids of honour who did a Disney medley as an example:

Tom Fletcher from band McFly did one of the most famous and unusual groom’s speeches of all time. If you can hold a tune why not replicate his speech with your own song…

Nick Jonas went down the heartfelt route for his groom’s speech at his wedding to Priyanka Chopra in 2018 and nailed the thank you to his new mother in law.

Mark Wright from TOWIE gave way to the tears when talking about new wife Michelle Keegan at their wedding: “Not only are you beautiful, but you are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You truly are sensational in every single way.” Take inspiration from his touching way to be emotional without making everyone feel awkward.

Not a groom’s speech, but you could definitely steal the idea from the best man speech of Danny McKenzie at footballer Jamie Milligan’s wedding – he pretended he had forgotten the speech and then played a video that “showed” him racing through fields and various places James Bond-style to retrieve it…

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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12 Groom Speech Tips: How to Make a Killer Groom's Speech

Are you nervous about giving your groom's speech? Our experts have 12 top tips to giving the ultimate speech and help calm your nerves

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Have you been worrying about giving your groom’s speech ever since you popped the question? You’re not alone! This is arguably one of the most daunting parts of your entire wedding planning journey. 

You’ll need to consider how long your speech should be, your groom speech structure, and who you should be thanking. If you’re following the traditional order of speeches, your speech will come after the father of the bride (or groom) speech , and he could have set the bar pretty high.

But, don’t fret! We spoke to wedding speech writing experts to help calm your nerves. Speechwriter Chris Dance , Adrian Simpson from All Speeches Great and Small  and Heidi Ellert-McDermott from Speechy gave their best advice on what it takes to deliver a great groom speech.

What Does the Groom Say in His Speech?

12 Groom's Wedding Speech Tips

1. acknowledge this special moment.

“A great groom speech should be a really good dollop of entertainment and fun, whilst at the same time acknowledging what a very special moment this is. It’s your chance to stand up and acknowledge the people who have brought you to this point and, of course, to talk about the person you’ve been lucky enough to marry,” explained Adrian.

2. Think Carefully About How to Begin

Heidi advises that the best way to begin your groom speech is “quickly”.

She says: “Grooms often make the mistake of thinking they should sound formal and get overly stressed about following traditional etiquette. The aim is to get people laughing as soon as possible, certainly within the first three lines of your speech as it puts everyone listening at ease.”

As well as keeping it light and funny, Adrian points out that it’s important to address your partner's father and thank him for his speech: “Make it a warm and inclusive introduction, however, don’t be tempted to detail his financial contribution. A reference to his generosity should be sincere but very general.”

3. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience applies to all speech writing and Chris emphasises this by explaining that you should: "Keep in mind who you're talking to and make the speech accessible to everyone in the room. Don't use in-jokes that only you and your workmates will get, don't risk anything offensive or controversial, and steer clear of politics."

4. Add in a Few (Appropriate) Jokes

“There’s a lot of emotion on the big day and making people laugh with some wedding jokes or amusing stories is the best way to balance that out,” explains Adrian.

Keep your stories short, funny, and appropriate! You don’t want to be embarrassing your new wife or husband on your first day as a married couple.

“Are you already concerned that your bride’s ‘pinot posse’ have started chatting up the bar staff? Or are you finding it hard to recognise your middle-aged cycling buddies in clothes that they usually wouldn’t be seen dead in? Make your humour personal and seemingly spontaneous – your guests will really appreciate it,” adds Heidi.

Adrian advises grooms to steer away from a speech that’s more of a ‘dry procession of thanks’ as you’ll struggle to keep your guests’ attention – so even if you’re not a naturally charismatic person, make sure your personality shines through above the mere thank-yous.

Take a look at these groom speech jokes for inspiration! 

5. Remember to Thank Everyone

Traditionally, the groom will need to thank the following:

Heidi advises that although there are probably plenty of other people who you would love to thank for their contributions and help towards your special day, try to avoid thanking half of the guest list.

A simple way to thank everyone would be to say:

"This is the best day of my life and it's because of all of you, and especially you (referring to your partner). I cannot thank you all enough for being here."

When it comes to thanking parents, there’s one thing Adrian warns grooms to be careful of. “Don’t fall into the trap of waxing lyrical about your new parents-in-law for several paragraphs, dismissing your own parents in a sentence. They should both be given equal measure.”

An example to combine them both would be to say:

"Thank you for my parents for bring me up to be the person I am today and thank you to my in-laws for welcoming me into your family."

6. Focus on Your New Partner

Heidi suggests that your new partner should be the main focus of your speech. She says, “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to drop a public love-bomb on your partner and considering they’ve just agreed to tolerate all of your habits and box sets for the rest of their life, it’s the least you can do!

“Remember, every groom thinks his partner is gorgeous, kind and generally amazing so avoid cliché terms and words and concentrate on what makes them unique. Nailing their individual and quirky characteristics shows that you really get your new husband or wife and your friends and family will love you for that.”

Chris recommends that you do this by giving examples: "Don't just say that your partner is kind and thoughtful; illustrate it with the story about the time that they dressed up as Boba Fett and threw you a surprise Star Wars party, or about how they still hold your hand at the dentists because you hate the sound of the drill."

7. Forget Giving Out Gifts

Heidi advises that if you’re planning on giving thank you gifts to bridesmaids , parents or anyone else, either do it earlier on in the day or announce that you’ll be personally thanking them later as to not disrupt the speech.

She says: “Gift-giving is basically an excuse for guests to start checking their WhatsApp!”

8. Don't Be Too Ambitious

The time you take to the mic to make your groom's speech will no doubt be a big moment, but Chris shares that it is important to be realistic about what your comfort zone is and stay in it.

"It's a speech to your friends, not an audition for Britain's Got Talent. If you're terrified of public speaking, keep it simple. Don't give yourself unnecessary stress by filling your speech with tongue-twisters or trying to be Billy Connolly." 

9. Think Carefully About the Structure

Adrian says, “There are lots of people to talk about and you should deal with them one at a time and avoid repetition.

“Resist the urge to launch straight into how amazing your new partner looks and then pepper the speech with references to them. They are the star of the show so save the latter half of the speech to be dedicated to them and what they mean to you.”

10. Eight Minutes is the Perfect Length of Time

Adrian says that the length of a groom’s speech can really make or break it: “Too short and people are going to be wondering why you bothered. Too long and nobody will be listening. Keep it to a ‘stand up-sit down’ time of 10 minutes – that’s a talking time of around eight minutes and the rest will be made up from laughter, applause and heckles.”

Heidi also stressed the importance of not boring people with a lengthy speech, but also not coming across like you’re enjoying the attention a little too much.

11. Avoid Too Much Detail

Adrian explained that it’s too much detail that really slows a speech down: “A great speech demands the very least from the guests in order for them to enjoy it, so now is not the time to recount exactly how you know each of the ushers individually. A good guide is to aim for a total of 1,350 words – if you’re edging well over that, then it’s time to strip out some of the content.”

12. Think About Your Ending

According to Adrian: “Tradition says that you should end on a toast to the bridesmaids and a little aside to the best man. I’ve never found this works – in my opinion, the focus of the speech should be exclusively on your partner, that’s why I suggest toasting to the bridesmaids earlier in the speech and making the final words all about your partner.

“You should have talked about the best man earlier in the speech but there’s no harm in having a quick one-liner referencing him at the end but make sure it’s after the final toast.”

Groom Speech Preparation To Calm Your Nerves

Never Ending Stories

Heidi has a lot of advice when it comes to calming nerves around your wedding speech, starting with just how important the planning and preparation is.

“The key to being confident on the day is writing a wedding speech that’s so good you can’t wait to deliver it. If you know you’re going to make your friends laugh, your mum cry and your bride/groom love you even more then you’ll ooze confidence whilst delivering your speech.”

1. Film Yourself – Use your phone to film yourself practising your speech. Watch it back and channel your inner Simon Cowell – work out how your delivery could be improved and what you would change.

2. Dutch Courage Isn’t Always the Answer – Although lots of grooms swear by a bit of Dutch courage, this is based on wishful thinking rather than solid science!

3. Smile and Breathe – It may sound obvious but taking a deep breath is surprisingly effective at reducing those stress nerves and smiling is scientifically proven to be infectious, making them a fool-proof combination.

Does the Groom Give a Speech?

Traditionally, the groom will give a speech at the wedding reception, following the ceremony. You can do whatever works for you, but the traditional order for speeches is for the father of the bride to speak, then the groom, best man and any other toasts.

How to Write a Groom's Speech

If you are writing your groom's speech yourself the key points to remember are to compliment your new spouse and thank any key guests. Any other additions are nice extras! 

Writing not your strength? Hiring a professional speechwriter is a brilliant option. "It’s not cheating - if it is then so is ordering a wedding cake when you’ve got perfectly good eggs and flour at home," shares Chris.

"Speech writing is a specialist skill: giving the task to someone who can mould your words and articulate your thoughts is as valid a use of your budget as any other wedding service you’re paying for – arguably more valid, given that it’s probably the bit of the day you’re most worried about."

"The groom should focus on thankyous," explains Chris. "He should thank everyone for coming to the wedding - especially Jim and Tania who’ve kayaked all the way from Gdansk; anyone who contributed to it significantly, his partner’s parents for spawning such a catch; his own parents for loving and/or tolerating him.

"When he’s done that he can get on with lavishing praise on the person he’s married and saying how deliriously happy he is. That’s what the guests really want to hear from him, so he needs to do that bit well and sincerely."

How Long Should a Groom's Speech be?

Ideally, you want your groom's speech to be no more than ten minutes. Make sure to rehearse it a few times before the big day and time yourself - you don't want your guests to start getting bored!

"Just remember, if there are two or three other speakers then you’re asking your guests to sit still and listen patiently for half an hour, which is a long time when you’re stuffed full of wine, sea bass and tiramisu and you want to stretch your legs.

"However long your speech lasts (I find seven to ten minutes is usually enough), try to keep it punchy, lively and relevant: there is such a thing as a five minute speech that’s so dull it feels like a lifetime, yet fifteen minutes can race by if your speech is bright, engaging and funny," says Chris.

Still feeling nervous? Fear not – here’s our guide on how to deliver an amazing wedding speech !

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writing grooms speech

The Groom’s Speech

Groom's speech being given at a wedding

The groom’s biggest duty on his wedding day – after getting married! – is giving the groom’s speech. We’ve put together a guide to giving an excellent groom’s speech, complete with a speech checklist, tips on staying calm and examples of amazing groom’s speeches. What are you waiting for?! We answer all your speech questions here.

Who does the groom toast and thank?

writing grooms speech

The Tradition of the Groom’s Speech

The groom’s speech traditionally comes at the end of the wedding breakfast. It’s part of the transition from the formalities of the day into the party.

In a very traditional wedding set up, a toastmaster would introduce each speaker ahead of their speech, but you could ask a member of your wedding party to do this, or just introduce yourself for a less formal feel.

Groom laughing whilst reading a groom's speech

How long should the groom’s speech last?

Ideally, you want your speech to be no more than ten minutes. Practise it a few times ahead of the big day and time yourself. Make sure you speak slowly and clearly!

You don’t want your groom’s speech to last more than ten minutes so your guests don’t start to feel fidgety and bored. Save the extended gushing about your partner for a private moment!

If you’re very nervous about giving a speech, you can keep it as brief as you like. Just lead a toast to your partner and perhaps one to thank those who have helped you get married. We would recommend discussing this with your partner beforehand so they know what to expect from your shorter groom’s speech.

Groom's speech being given to bride

When does the groom’s speech happen?

The groom’s speech follows the father of the bride’s speech typically. The father of the bride would traditionally go first as the host of the day, however this might not be the case for your wedding set up.

More and more couples are opting to have the speeches before the wedding breakfast so you can relax and enjoy your meal. You can find out more about the order of the wedding speeches here.

writing grooms speech

There is etiquette around who traditionally says what at a wedding . The groom traditionally thanks and leads toasts to the following in his speeches:

writing grooms speech

How to Write a Groom’s Speech

Writing a groom’s speech isn’t as daunting as you might think it is. As long as you’ve complimented your new spouse and thanked your key guests, you’ve basically done your job! We’ve included a groom’s speech checklist for you to make sure you have included everything you need, but here are some further pointers…

Be sure to practise your speech so you feel confident reading it aloud. Perhaps read it to a trusted friend or relative to get their feedback ahead of your wedding. Make sure you time it as well so you know that it doesn’t go on for too long.

writing grooms speech

The Groom’s Speech Checklist

Compare your speech to this handy groom’s speech checklist to make sure you’ve included everything you need to and haven’t missed anything off:

Read more: Sample toasts for the groom’s speech

writing grooms speech

How to Make a Groom’s Speech

You might feel totally fine about writing a groom’s speech, but be more nervous about actually giving the speech. That’s totally understandable!

It helps to remember you’re giving your speech to a room full of your friends and family – they all love you and are there to celebrate with you, not judge you. No one will care if you stumble on a word and no one will think badly of your speech.

The old confidence trick is to image everyone naked or in their underwear but, having just got married, you shouldn’t really be imagining anyone naked! The best thing to do is take a deep breath before speaking and pick something at the back of the room – a picture, a plant, a column – and address your speech to that item.

By doing that, you’re looking out across the room and directing your voice to the furthest reaches of the space – ideal if you haven’t got a microphone!

If you have got a mic, don’t hold it too close to your face and remember to keep your speech slow – it can be tempting to rush to get it over with, but no one will be able to understand you! Pause briefly between your sentences and keep focusing on that plant at the back of the room if you need to. Remember to look at your new wife or husband from time to time though, so they don’t think you’re totally besotted with a floral arrangement!

writing grooms speech

Short Groom’s Speech Template

We’ve put together a free short groom’s speech template to help you if you’re really stuck with writing your speech:

“Hello everyone. You should all know me, I’m [NAME], the groom, and if you don’t…how on earth did you get on the guest list?

I’d like to say thank you [NAME OF FATHER OF BRIDE/EQUIVALENT] for those kind words. And thank you [PARTNER’S PARENTS] for welcoming me into the family – not just today, but from that (terrifying/lovely/memorable) moment we first met, [NUMBER] of years ago.

I don’t know who was more nervous that day, me or [PARTNER], but luckily we all hit it off and I’ve felt like part of the family ever since. Thank you [NAMES] for that, and for all your help pulling off the wedding of the year.

Whilst I’m thanking parents, I’d also like to thank my own. Thank you for all the support and love you have given me over the years, and thank you for your help making today what it is. [GIVE GIFTS HERE IF DOING SO]

On behalf of my wife [OR EQUIVALENT], I’d like to thank you all for coming here to celebrate with us today. I know some have you have travelled very far – it just goes to show what some people will do for a free meal!

Whilst I’m thanking people, especially those who’d do anything for a free meal, I suppose I better thank the best man. [NAME], thank you for your help today, thank you for not upstaging me too – I didn’t ask him to look like that ladies and gents, but that’s how good of a friend he is. Thanks also to all the stags – but the less said about the stag do the better, we’ve all agreed.

And [BRIDE’S NAME] and I would also like to thank the bridesmaids. Thank you for organising a fab hen do and for keeping [NAME] calm today. I’m not sure how you pulled it off, but I might be asking you for tips. I’m sure everyone will agree you all look beautiful today, second only to my beautiful bride. Would everyone join me in raising a glass to the bridesmaids? To [NAMES].

Now, it wouldn’t be much of a speech if I didn’t thank my beautiful bride [OR EQUIVALENT]. [NAME], what can I say? I didn’t think you could look any more incredible, but yet again you’ve proven me wrong. You simply took my breath away today and I feel like the luckiest man in the world.

I knew I had to marry you when [INSERT ANECDOTE], and here we are. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together and feel as lucky as I do today every single day. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in raising a glass to my beautiful, funny, caring, smart wife – to [NAME].

Now I’ll hand you over to the best man – but be warned. He had an accident as a child and as a result has a terrible tendency to lie and exaggerate. Don’t believe everything he says…”

Read more: How to thank people in the groom’s speech

One-Liners for the Groom’s Speech

Here are 15 of our favourite one-liners and ice-breakers to add to your groom’s speech to give your guests the giggles:

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In This Article

Groom Speech Tips

The Great Groom Speech Template

Groom wedding toast ideas, the best groom speech examples.

Groom Speech Wedding Templates And Ideas

groom speech bride vintage dress veil

phuket_wedding_planner via Instagram

Everyone wants to hear the groom say something at the wedding because he’s the man of the hour. For this reason, you must make the opportunity count. While it’s easy to celebrate the good fortune of finding your beloved, giving a speech is a different matter.

Ironically, brides are always prepared, but grooms often leave the speech at the last minute, probably from panic. So whether you’re shy, confused about what to do, or don’t have the time to whip up something, we’ve got you covered. See our Post for the best groom wedding speech tips and ideas ever.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What should the groom say in his speech.

Well, below is a list to guide you on giving a great groom speech.

When should the groom give his speech?


How Long Should A Groom’s Speech Be?

groom speech bride great crying bridesmaids

emiliobphotography via Instagram

Many grooms are spontaneous, but overall you have about ten minutes to prepare the speech and three minutes to deliver it. The guests are also settled and very attentive to you before or after the meal. So here’s how to write a groom‘s speech that wins every time.

groom speech bride couple

A lot of grooms always get confused when trying to write a speech for their wedding. Days before the wedding, they go into a fit of panic because they know absolutely nothing to write. While writing such speech, you are conscious about the introduction, body, and conclusion. You want to catch the guests at the beginning of your speech, keep them interested and close off to a magnetic finishing.

Other things to consider are the length of speech, speech structure, word usage and time spent. All these done in the right format will help you pull off a great groom speech. We did a lot of findings and consultation on what best obtains and captures everyone. As such, we have come up with some groom speech tips to help you shine. With these speech tips and the right emotions, your message will hit its target right in the heart.

The speech tips below are simple, concise and will give answers to all your questions.

Groom Speech Dos and Don’ts

groom speech bride vintage dress veil

kreativwedding via Instagram

To avoid a wedding speech disaster, there are some things to do and not to do. Things that one would often times not give much thought to but they mean a lot. These dos and don’ts can make or mar your wedding day.

A perfect speech will give you unending applause from everyone. But a bad speech? The disasters are too much to mention. You will have in-laws getting pissed at you, the bridesmaids coming for your head. Your best man gunning to have you quartered and your wife preparing to give you hell.

Let us not talk about the guests who may start exiting your wedding venue in their numbers.


Here’s a groom speech template that will help you create a winning speech with ease.

groom speech

The groom’s wedding toast is quite numerous, most of which he will give as he makes his speech. For every stage he concludes in his speech, there is a toast. A toast to the father-in-law, to his best man, to the bridesmaids, to the guests present, and many more. The most important toast is to his wife and both of them as a couple.

This is a form of honor and acknowledgment to everyone present and in his life. The groom has the choice to either make each toast while giving his wedding speech or make it all at once after giving his speech. We make toasts before taking the drinks anyway.

To the father of the bride

“Let us toast to my father in law for raising and giving me this beautiful woman. For being a wonderful father to her, although I’m taking over. For accepting me as a son……. “

To the best man

“To my right-hand man for being there all the way. For taking time off work to make all things ready for my big day. For all the sacrifices you made from way back until now. For being my best friend in the real sense and too many more years as friends…..a toast to my best man (insert name)”

Toast To the guests

“A toast to you wonderful people. You are all amazing. Thanks for being here today and sharing in our joy. To many more years of celebration and happiness………. “

To the bride

“Whoever thought this angelic beauty seated here will be mine? Let’s all make a toast to my heartthrob, whose smile lightens my world. A toast to you baby, for all you are, for all you’ll be. To us, to life, to our love, to your happiness, too many blissful years with me, to our future, to forever…………”

groom speech bride vintage dress

As against the best man speech which focuses more on the groom, the speech of the groom is for everyone, his bride inclusive. As a result, a groom’s speech is either light-hearted, funny, or witty. It has no blueprint or strict rules but two elements are ever-present regardless of what kind of speech it is – emotion and sincerity!

It is a special day and a lot of people made the day possible. In his speech, he will thank everyone and even those absent. He will salute his new father-in-law, the bridesmaids, the maid of honor, and even the bride’s mother.

He will thank his groomsmen and especially his best man for holding him up all the way. The highlight of this speech is when he would make a wedding toast to his beloved, with so much love in his eyes thanking her for coming into his life. He’d tell his love story and show his optimism and willingness to be her husband.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention. Apparently, it’s my job to do all the thank you’s, so on behalf of my lovely new wife and I, the biggest thank-you goes to all of you for coming. The day would not have been the same without you and neither would my bank balance! But on a serious note, it is lovely to see so many of you here. Particularly those of you who have had to travel many miles. Amy and I would like to thank our parents for all the love and support both emotional and financial they have given us. And a special thank-you to Vanessa who is responsible for making our fantastic wedding cake. Sharon, Sue, Vanessa, Ray, Steve We’d also like to thank Darren for his services as the best man today and of course our ushers. You’ve all done a grand job. Darren, Mark, Jon, Jim, Adam That brings me onto our bridesmaids. Thank you all for your help and for being there for Amy through the ups and downs of wedding planning! I’m sure everyone will agree that you all look stunning today. Nina, Laura, Charlotte, Kirsty, Fiona, Lillie, Jordan, and Emily. Finally, I would personally like to thank my lovely wife, Amy, for having me as her husband! I read somewhere that “You don’t marry the person you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without”. Well, we’ve lived together for five years and I know I’ve married the right person. I’m so glad I can at last call you my wife. Now all that remains is for me to say please enjoy the rest of the day…… and mine’s a foster!
………..Good evening ladies, gentlemen, family, and friends. First of all, I must say a big “thank you” to Colin for his kind words. His speech was so good, he’s going to do mine for me too. As many of you will know, I am of the shy retiring type that likes to keep quiet and keep my opinions to myself, therefore you can understand my nervousness at standing up here in front of all of you making a speech. And as many of you will also know, I’m also a compulsive liar, but I am still nervous, that bit is true. I have been fearful of this bit for weeks, and as you can imagine, this isn’t the first time today I have arisen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. I read while researching wedding speeches that a good speech has a good beginning and a good ending. But the best speech of all is one that keeps these close together. So I will try and keep this as short as possible and will try my best not to do a “Gwinny” with my list of thanks. Firstly I would like to thank any Rangers fans for still being here and not walking out at 4.30 as usual. Pause for cheers But then again, I don’t think we’re friends with any of them anyway. I would like to thank my parents, Ian and Margaret for all the help they have given me over the years, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here now. So, Helen, if it doesn’t work out you know who to blame. I would also like to thank Helen’s parents, Colin and Sandra, for making me feel like the son they never wanted, sorry the son they never had, right from day 2. Day 1 was a bit rough, but hey, they’re over it now……….
……….You are all aware of our problems over the last few years and one of my biggest worries, especially when I was “down South”, so to speak, was that my two children, Michelle and Nick would go off the rails. I’m pleased to say that they didn’t and they’ve both made us so proud of their achievements so I’d like to propose my toast to them….Michelle and Nick. Very few of you will know, but I am an erstwhile poet when the mood takes me. Anita has always complained that I have never written a poem for her, so I will today amend that omission. It’s called Wedding Day…………
………..On behalf of Julia and myself, or should I say on behalf of my wife and me, we would like to thank everyone for coming today. Everyone has traveled in some way to be here and share this special day with us and we’re delighted to see you all. A special thank-you goes out to those of you who have traveled a greater number of miles to be here today. It’s quite humbling to realize that you’re friends and family that care so much and are willing to travel all that way to share in your special day. Thank you for your cards, kind thoughts and of course all your wedding gifts. They’re all greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, there are two people who can’t be here today, my Dad and my granddad so, it would mean a lot to me if you would all stand for a toast in their memory – To Billy McCleery and James Harrison Snr…………
………….On a serious note, I’d firstly like to say a big thank you to my new Dad Dave. I’m proud to be his son-in-law and hope I can live up to his expectations, which should be easy, compared to his other son Mick! But let us not take this Father, Son thing too seriously, as I’m not into 10-mile runs before breakfast like you were in the Paras. Both Sharon and I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone for coming here today and sharing this special occasion with us. Especially those who brought expensive presents. Its much appreciated! Thank you to Edwin and Elsa, Margaret and Linda and many others who have traveled a long way to be here. It’s certainly a long way from Brighouse! We hope you all enjoy the day, have fun, relax and be merry…………….

Groom Rehearsal Dinner Speech

Congratulations on your upcoming rehearsal dinner speech! Here are three tips to help you write a memorable and meaningful speech:

Here’s an example of a groom rehearsal dinner speech that incorporates these three tips:

Good evening everyone, and thank you for joining us on this special night. I want to start by thanking our parents, who have been there for us every step of the way. Your love and support mean the world to us. I also want to thank our friends and family who have traveled from near and far to be here with us. We feel incredibly blessed to have you in our lives. As we sit here tonight, I can’t help but reflect on how lucky I am to have found my soulmate in [bride’s name]. I knew from the moment I met her that she was the one for me. Her kindness, intelligence, and beauty continue to amaze me every day. [Optional: insert a personal anecdote here] [Optional: insert a joke or humorous story here] As we prepare to start this new chapter of our lives together, I am filled with gratitude and joy. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us. Thank you all again for being here tonight. Let’s raise a glass to love, laughter, and happily ever after!

The groom’s speech is one of the most anticipated speeches at a wedding. It doesn’t need such long preparation but could flop if you don’t get the hang of it. Give the best groom speech ever with the tips, ideas, and templates we’ve curated in this post. Speak from the heart, let your love shine, add some humor and you’re home free.

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8 Tips for How to Write a Groom's Speech

8 Tips for How to Write a Groom's Speech

Are you planning to recite a groom's speech during your wedding reception? 

Great! Now the real question is, how exactly do you write one? 

As a wedding vow and speech writer , I have worked with many grooms to ghostwrite their wedding speeches.

So here is my guide for you to follow so you can create a groom’s speech that you feel confident delivering on the big day. 

Tip #1: Determine the Goal of Your Speech

There are many different directions you can take with a groom’s speech. Before you put pen to paper, decide what direction you want to take. 

Here are various goals you can achieve through a groom’s toast:

Thank and welcome guests

Thank a few key and influential people 

Honor loved ones who have passed

Pay tribute to your new spouse

Entertain guests

 Which of these ideas is a goal you want to achieve with your speech? Most likely, you’ll want to include more than one of these concepts. You may even want to touch on all of them throughout your speech.  

You don’t have to limit yourself. Just make sure the speech is thoughtful in its intention and focused on communicating your key points so that your delivery feels most impactful. 

Tip #2: Organize your Speech into Sections 

Now that you have your ideas, it’s time to organize those thoughts.

The best way to do this is by creating an outline for your wedding speech. 

Here’s the outline I’d recommend you follow for your groom’s speech:

Brief introduction 

Welcome and thank guests

Thank anyone who deserves a special mention (parents, grandparents, or anyone who has been influential in your life and making your wedding day happen)

Story about your journey to getting to this moment

A few words about your new spouse

Your wish for guests

Close with a toast 

Tip #3: Keep the Thank Yous Succicent

One of the main purposes of your groom’s speech is to thank guests . While this is vital, don’t let the thank you section become so verbose that you lose the guests’ attention.

For example, if you mention more than two to four specific people, your thank you list will be so long that you won’t achieve that level of impact that you’re striving for.

Instead, focus on the most important people.

For anyone else who you’d like to thank but doesn’t make the cut for the speech, consider writing them personal thank you notes and distribute these either at the rehearsal dinner or after your honeymoon. 

I recommend organizing the thank you section of your speech into two sections:

A general thank you to all guests

A specific thank you honoring key individuals 

Example of a General Thank You:

My new spouse and I would like to thank everyone for traveling from all over the country to celebrate with us today. Your presence makes this moment more special.  

Example of a Specific Thank You: 

We’d especially like to thank both of our parents.  

To my mom and dad, Sheila and Donny. You’ve always encouraged me to chase my dreams and if it weren’t for your constant encouragement, I wouldn’t be living out my greatest dream today.

And to my in-laws, Jenny and Dave. Thank you for welcoming me so warmly into your family and for raising the love of my life. I promise to show her as much admiration, support, and love that you two always have.  

Tip #4: Balance Humor with Sentiment

Everyone appreciates a funny wedding speech . But make sure you balance that humor with the sentiment of the moment too.

You can keep guests intrigued and your speech interesting by bouncing back and forth between playful energy and a more sentimental tone. 

To do this, have a few jokes interspersed within serious sections. 

For example, after you recite a light-hearted line or a self-deprecating joke, circle back to a serious tone where you share something more heartfelt. 

Tip #5: Share a Story About Your Relationship

The number one way to capture guests is through storytelling so consider including a story within your groom’s speech.

Choose an anecdote that will show some insight into your love story but can also be tied back to the present moment of your wedding day.

writing grooms speech

When I showed up at Bar Logan for our first date, I was prepared for good drinks, decent food, and terrible karaoke filling the air between us…but I could never have been prepared to meet such a gorgeous woman who was as funny as she was smart, as strong as she was vulnerable, and as sweet as she was sassy.

Now I’m proud to say that for the rest of my life, I get to call that wonderful woman my wife.  

Tip #6: Work with a Speech Writer

To ensure you include everything that’s important to you and your new spouse within your groom’s speech, consider help. 

As a speech writer , I work with grooms to gather all the necessary information needed to write a speech that will make your guests feel both entertained and honored to attend your wedding.

Plus, getting married is nerve-wracking enough. You don’t need to add anything else to your plate that will cause you to be anxious on your wedding day. 

Get in touch to see how I can help.

Tip #7: Understand the Logistics

Common questions I receive for a groom’s speech are things like, “How long should my groom’s speech be?” And, “When do I recite my groom’s speech?”

So here are your answers to these popular questions:

Keep your speech impactful and to the point. The best way to achieve this is to not speak for too long. Reciting a 1 - 3 minute speech is ideal.

The groom’s speech is often recited after the ceremony and before dinner. If you’re having other guests give speeches, your speech should be first. This is because you’re a host of the event and so it makes sense for you to officially welcome and thank guests before others give their toasts.

Tip #8: Practice Reciting Your Speech Out Loud

Writing your groom’s speech is a huge task but to really leave a positive impression, practice your delivery.

Here are my top public speaking tips to keep in mind:

Speak loudly and slowly

Use a microphone

Don’t try to memorize your speech and don’t read it from your phone. Instead, print a copy of your speech and read from the paper while making natural eye contact throughout your delivery. 

Keep hand gestures to a minimum 

If you mess up a line, don’t apologize. This will only call attention to a moment that, otherwise, most of your guests may not have even noticed. 

Smile at appropriate lines. This will add a natural inflection to your delivery. 

Your presence at the mic combined with the words you write is what will leave a lasting impression on guests.

Love my vows Katelyn!!!! It’s such a relief to have this out of the way so I can focus on all the rest of the stuff I need to do!  You were my very favorite part of the process!! Your experience and confidence in the process took all the stress out of writing my vows!

— Natalie, Florida

I thought the process was outstanding. You did a great job communicating, and I thought the turnaround time for editing was perfect. I also thought the video interview was great in that it was personal and meaningful!

I am a storyteller, not a speechwriter. I was incredibly intimidated about writing one.

So thankful to find Katelyn to get my thoughts all in order. Very proud of how the speech came out. Looking forward to giving it!

— Jennifer Whitley, Texas

I had such a wonderful experience working with Katelyn. She truly helped mold perfect vows that I can’t wait to tell my fiancé on our wedding day!  Katelyn was friendly, sweet, and super easy to work with. I will definitely be calling her up if I have to give another speech in the near future.

— Jordanne, California

Katelyn was professional, easy to talk to, and made the interviewing process fun. She came well prepared with unexpected and thought-provoking questions to get a better understanding of our love story and who we are as a couple.

She was a pleasure to work with and made the vow writing process enjoyable.

— Kimi Kinsey, South Carolina

Working with Katelyn on my maid of honor toast was an incredible experience. She really took the time to understand my relationship with my best friend and used my responses to craft a toast that put my thoughts and feelings into words in a way that I never would have been able to do on my own.

Before working with Katelyn, I was nervous and stressed about giving (and writing) such a big, important speech. But now I’m so relieved that it’s done, and I honestly can’t wait to stand up and tell everyone exactly what my best friend means to me.

— Allyssa, New Jersey

I didn’t actually know this service existed until I discovered Katelyn! It was such a fun experience to video chat with her about my best friend who is getting married this summer.

I don’t have to stress about writing this a few weeks before my best friend’s wedding. Thank you so much and I can’t wait to read it at my best friend’s wedding!

How To Write The Perfect Groom Speech

best man speech video

So, if you want a speech that will leave your guests laughing, your partner touched and you feeling just a little bit smug, it might be worth reading this Ten Point Plan of Attack…

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(Of course, if you want more than simply advice, check out our Groom Speech Template , Speech Edit Service or even our Bespoke Writing Service . We’re rated ‘Excellent’ on Trustpilot for a reason).

1. How to Start Writing the Perfect Wedding Speech

Never mind ‘how’, worry about ‘when’.

Start soon , ideally two months before the wedding. Do not be tempted to put off writing until you’re hit by divine inspiration and do not get side-tracked by table plans or biscuits.

Don’t underestimate how long it can take to be witty, meaningful and memorable. Yes, you know your subject rather well (we’re hoping) but even professional comedians can take weeks to ‘knock out’ a sketch.

Lock yourself in a room, shut off all social media and get writing.

Wedding Speech Edit

2. What You Need (And What You Don't)

A speech is not about handing out gifts and it’s not (just) about thanking people. It’s about reminding everyone why they should be celebrating the newlyweds getting hitched. It’s explaining why two sane people have just promised to tolerate each other’s crazy habits and personality quirks for the rest of their lives.

So, forget the old fashioned etiquette books, the essential elements in a modern groom speech is relatively simple…

And that’s it really.

wedding speeches funny hire speechwriter

3. Know Your Speech Etiquette

There’re plenty of good etiquette guides online but sound the klaxon, they come with a warning.

Etiquette guides can seriously damage your speech. They can make you think your groom speech has to include a long list of thank-yous and old fashioned clichés. Resist the urge.

Here’s our no-nonsense guide to speech etiquette –

Wedding Speech Writer Speechy UK

4. Wedding Speech Material

So, other than the speech ‘to dos’ what makes up the bulk of your speech? Well, stories of course…

STORY HUNTING – Imagine you’re one of those detectives you see on TV (only without the Swedish accent or psychological problems). You have a theory, maybe that you’re marrying someone kind of special. It’s now up to you to prove it.

Retrace your romantic steps (metaphorically not literally, that could take some time) and work out the key bits of evidence.

What moments have been meaningful, funny or illustrate a point? If you want to reference the fact she’s a bit ditsy, remember the time she reported her car stolen only to discover she’d parked it round the corner.

GET INSIGHTFUL – Hunt down the things that make you and your partner unique. This is what adds depth, meaning and humour to your speech – and helps you avoid sounding like a generic cliche of a groom.

So, how does your partner put up with you? Are you the husband who can’t open jars? Do you eat your burgers with a knife and fork? It’s time to confess.

And what unique traits does she have? The ability to respond to Whatapp messages before they’re actually sent? An encyclopedic knowledge of The Great British Bake Off and its soggy bottoms? A ridiculously long tongue?

Whatever it is, make sure you paid tribute to her individual quirks. It says much more than just saying how beautiful she looks (though it’s essential you say that too!).

father of the bride speech

5. Find a Theme

Right this is the important bit.

Your speech is made up of lots of different elements but it needs to hook people in from the beginning, establish a theme and carry that through to an almighty climax. It needs to tell a story .

An example of how to use a theme to bring everything together is a bride who used her teaching profession as her hook. She talked about what she and her husband had learnt from each other over the years, ranging from the comedy to the soppy, from the perfect poached egg to understanding rugby’s scoring system (she taught him). She toasted ‘ a lifetime of learning new and wonderful things about each other’ and everyone rather liked it.

So write a list; five things that people would associate with you, your partner and your relationship and see if you can spot a theme.

Heidi Ellert-McDermott Writer Wedding Speeches

6. Be Funny

Even if the crux of your speech is emotional and romantic it’s still good to have some humour in there too.

Nobody is expecting you to be a stand-up comedian but try to find the comedy in your reality. Are you and your partner really alike or really different? Do you share a guilty pleasure? Do you have a distinctive style of arguing? These sorts of areas make great speech material.

Reveal surprising facts or even, in some cases, props, like the fashionista’s teddy bear dressing gown.

For our comedy scriptwriter insider tips, read our how to be funny guide.

Best Man Speech

7. Be Sweet (Not Sickly)

Firstly, be honest. There’s no point making declarations of love if people don’t recognise the person you’re talking about.

Don’t pretend that your partner is perfect or that you don’t argue over control of the TV remote control. Love her for the crazy nut-job she really is.

Secondly, don’t go OTT. You have to get the balance right between sweet and just showing off. Leave the pet names at home and keep anything overly gushing for the bedroom.

A good trick is simply writing a list of all the little, quirky things you like about your partner a la When Harry Met Sally .

Groom speech

8. Be Different

Try to avoid cliches like ‘ special’ or ‘ the one’ and create new ways of describing love.

One groom said he was attracted to his wife because she looked like ‘ Bridget Bardot dressed up for a night at The Hog’s Head disco’ .

Another groom said his first date with his wife had left him with ‘ the feeling you get after the three course special at The Raj; very happy, completely satisfied but slightly nervous about what’s to come’.

If you’re really stuck, replace a generic cliche with a good, solid quote. Whilst plagiarism and being boring is never acceptable, using quotes is seen as positively inspired. Check out our favourite Groom Speech Quotes.

bride and groom

9. Keep It Short

Aim for somewhere between seven and nine minutes. And that includes the pauses you leave for the laughter. Jokes are funnier shorter and emotion more powerful.

You may feel you have SOOOOOO much you want to say but the real test is saying it in the least amount of words. It’s kind of like a perverse game of Scrabble.

wedding toast

10. Test It Out

Firstly on yourself. Read the speech out loud and if you find yourself stumbling on the same bit every time, change it.

Then get an audience. It needs to be someone whose advice you value, so don’t ask your mum if you’re going to ignore her.

Deliver it as you would on the wedding day. Leave pauses for the laughter (ironically speakers often talk over the laughter they’ve worked so hard to achieve). Remember to smile. Look at your audience.

And then – be receptive to criticism. If someone doesn’t get a joke, don’t waste your time explaining it as you won’t be able to do that on the day. The point of testing your speech is you still have time to change it.

And if at the end of all this, you still feel you need help…

Work with Speechy

We’re a team of speechwriters at the top of our game and you can exploit our talent. 

We’d love to help you craft a speech less ordinary and add an awesome moment to your day. 

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Let's Chat...

Speechy team

We’re happy to give you 15 mins of our time with no obligation to work with us.

WhatsApp us, call Heidi on 07971 224 245 , email [email protected] or request a callback.

We’re a global service and help clients all over the world.

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The ultimate groom speech guide

The most important speech you’ll ever make.

The Groom Speech is a really busy speech. There are a lot of bases to hit – you’ve got all the acknowledgements, thanks and tributes, and if you’re not careful it can easily unravel into one long procession of thanking people, and several hours of your life you’ll never get back. So, things to remember;

It’s an amazing opportunity to say lovely things about people who are, or have been, important in your life, and you really need to make the most of it, because whilst it’s 10 minutes or so on the day, it’s something that will stick with you for the rest of your days, and so getting it right is very important.

You need to make all those thanks, acknowledgements and welcomes, in the most creative and entertaining way possible, and the magic ingredient is humour. If you can make people laugh in an original and personal way, they will love you for it and listen to everything you’ve got to say, and it acts as a perfect balance for some of the more profound things you might like to say.

On this page I’ve written out pretty much every idea, hints and tips that you’re ever going to need to write a really great groom speech.

Quick Links

Opening lines.

Absent Friends

Groom's parents.

Closing Lines

The devil is in the details

Some really bad ideas

How to write a great groom speech.

Here’s a short video with all my hints and tips for writing a great groom speech. I’ve expanded on those thoughts and ideas on this page to give you the complete guide to writing your own.

This is very straightforward. I am not a fan of clichés in wedding speeches and avoid them as much as possible, with one notable exception, and that’s the opening lines of the groom speech. There really is no better way to kick off the speech and to get people cheering from the beginning, than to welcome everyone on behalf of ‘my wife and I’. It works every single time, and anyone looking to better it, really is trying too hard to be different, sometimes, and only very rarely, the dusty old wedding clichés get it spot on.

“Good afternoon everyone…on behalf of my wife and I…thanks you all so much for being here with us, and making to day today even more special….even the best man Dave”

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, it is so wonderful to have you all here with us today, it really does mean a great deal to us both…I’m just glad that the best man Dave made it here in one piece…because the last thing I heard his full time carers weren’t going to release him”

The structure of a groom speech is really important, because without a clear framework, it can all too soon become a rambling mess. Where people usually go wrong is to keep flitting back and forwards with the same ideas – once you’ve mentioned someone, then you should really keep moving on to different areas. Don’t forget, you’ve only got limited time up there before you out stay your welcome.

  The structure can be very basic. The beginning of the speech should of course, be the welcome, and then you can include thanks to anyone that’s really helped out. Avoid going straight into talking about your bride, as in my opinion and experience, the speech should always build towards her part in the latter stages. Once you’ve got the ‘admin’ bits of the speech covered, you can then include a toast to those no longer with us.

That brings us to the next part of the structure which is all about the important people. This should include:

Things to remember:

Special thanks

I like to include any thanking that needs to be done at the top of the speech and to get it out of the way as early as possible.  

“I would like to thank Uncle Dave for coming all the way from Australia to the UK…which, let’s face it, is just like Australia but with slightly more swimming gold medals and slightly fewer blokes with non ironic mullets”

“I would really like to thank Mary for all her hard work making our cake, and for Cassie for making all the beautiful bridesmaids dresses, thanks to them you haven’t had to look at, or eat anything or look at anything that I’ve been responsible for which can only be a good thing. I have on the other hand been responsible for the free bar which I’m not saying is as good as a dress…but it’s a pretty close second.”

Some people go to extraordinary efforts and expense to be make it to weddings on the other side of the world, and quite rightly that should be publicly recognised in the groom speech. You should try to group these together as much as possible, so if you’ve got several different guests coming all the way from New York, put them under one umbrella and avoid thanking them individually. It’s also an opportunity to have some fun with where they’ve come from and where the wedding is, so a comparison between Los Angeles and Stevenage is ripe for the picking. Maybe as a pay off you could offer some way in which all that effort is going to be worthwhile such as the free bar/meal/watching you dance.

‘Don’t worry uncle Dave your carbon footprint all becomes worthwhile when you see me dancing later on”

“I would like to thank Dave for coming all the way from New York, not saying that Dave’s usually late but to get him here on time we actually told him the wedding was last week.”

There should only be one absent friends toast in the series of wedding speeches, and that’s usually taken care of by the groom. I like to put the absent friend’s toast towards the start of the speech because you want to end on a positive, celebratory note and not to bring things down.

It all depends on how close your relationship was with friends and family that have passed away, but obviously the closer you were, the more detail you’re going to put into this section. Parents who have died, obviously deserve a really special mention, and as difficult as it may be, you’re still going to have to treat this as an overview, and don’t be tempted to go into too much detail. The day is about one person: the bride, and you need to keep the spotlight on her – in other words don’t write a mini eulogy.

“Unfortunately, my father cannot be with us today. He was a much loved family man, son, uncle and friend to many, and he is missed greatly every day.”

This is pretty much the only time in your life that you’re going to stand up and tell a room full of people what amazing parents you have, and what a great job they’ve done, so don’t blow it.  

“Dad, I would like to thank you for passing on your brains…well, I say thank you but as they only led me to becoming an estate agent, the juries out as to exactly how useful they really have been.”

“Dad, thanks for the hair genetics, you really shouldn’t have. I mean you REALLY shouldn’t have.”

The Bride's Parents

What you’re looking to do here is achieve roughly the same world count for both sets of parents. Focussing on one set of parents is the kind of thing that really sticks out in a speech, and usually grooms are guilty of giving their new in laws the big up, and skimping on their own mum and dad, so make sure it’s even.  

The Best Man

I much prefer to handle the best man in the middle of the speech and avoid any clumsy handover at the end, because I believe the conclusion of your speech should be all about the bride. You need to say what a great friend/brother he has been and how much better your life has been for having him in it. This isn’t to be taken lightly, best men are appointed because of their close connection, and it’s the only time you’re ever going to get to let everyone know what he means to you, so make the most of it. Then you need to find a way of having some fun with his character and exploiting some of his weaknesses etc. that might suggest why his judgment could be poor.

“Jake is an estate agent, he’s paid to tell lies, so prepare yourself for some of his most creative work yet!”

“It should be noted that Dave is a Sunderland fan and so has never been amongst a crowd of happy people before and will probably react by creating controversy just s he can feel comfortable again.”

It’s groomsmen in the US and Australia, and ushers in Europe, but they all do the same job: support the groom in the run up to the wedding and ion the big day itself. When you’re thanking ushers keep it general, light and funny, and please don’t find things to say about each and every one, otherwise we’re going to be here all day. This should be fun as well, so if there’s a way of collectively having a laugh with them, exploit it. If you are going to mention the stag weekend or bachelor party, and it’s not something I’d recommend, then do it here, and go light on detail.

The Bridesmaids

It’s your job to talk about and toast the bridesmaids, not the best man. You need to mention them by name, and say what a great group of friends/sisters they have been and how great it is that you’ve got them in your life as well. You could thank them for organising the hen weekend, and say what a culturally enriching experience that was for all concerned. If this involves sisters you should say how amazing it is to now be related…even if you don’t mean it! The toast at the end is the only toast that the groom has to make.

‘Sarah, you are an amazing sister to Jane, and I am so happy that we are now officially family…you don’t have to agree but at least I come with access to free plant machinery hire”

“ladies you all look absolutely amazing, the facts that there are seven of you, and one looks quite grumpy is in no way going to lead me make any Disney comparisons”

This is the conclusion of the speech and in reality, should make up about 30% of the total word count. In these words, you need to describe how you met, what an incredible positive impact she’s had on your life, what her character is like, what she means to you and how you proposed.  

There is a lot to fit in there, and these words will stay with you for life, so make what you say really count. On the other hand, you can’t be too gushy, because that can come across as a little clumsy too. Think about what makes her character unique in your eyes; what is it about your wife that makes her the person you want to share your life with? In these words you could include some short anecdotes of the times you’ve shared so far that highlight her character, passions and unique sense of humour.  

This cannot be one huge chunk of emotion, there needs to be light and shade, funny ideas and observations about your new wife always go down well, and you should sprinkle these throughout. A common mistake is to repeat what you’ve already said but in a slightly different way. So, if you’ve said how much you love her in one way, then that’s enough.

The Final Toast – You’re looking to finish the speech in the most succinct way possible so don’t drag it out too long. I always avoid toasting the bride in isolation, it’s never felt right and I think in the celebration of marriage only toasting one half is a little weird. Instead, just make it a general health/happiness toast and you’re done.

The closing lines in a groom speech are a contentious issue, and I’ve always diverted from tradition. The usual status quo when it comes to the closing lines in a groom speech, is to then hand over to your best man, and this for me, is getting it completely wrong.

The best man should have already been mentioned, the last sentiment and words you should say has to be all about your bride, so why make the best man the final part? Forget handing over to him, and leave at a toast to the future. Everyone knows he’s on next, and many weddings have an MC to remind them.

Other things to consider

Delivering the speech, divorced parents.

This is a really common tricky area, and on that needs to be handled very carefully especially if new partners are involved. Take them one at a time and make sure you give each parent an equal measure. If their new partners have been around for a long time and have had a big impact on your life, then this needs to be recognised.

I usually start with the father, but with Jewish weddings you should probably start with the mother. What you’re looking to do is not give any opportunity for inequality, so don’t wax lyrical about your dad’s new partner and go light on your mum – the ramifications of this speech will last for many years. If either parent has a very new partner on the scene, then it’s best to just omit them altogether.

This is a hugely important ingredient to any really great groom speech. If you make people laugh, they’ll love you for it and listen to everything you’ve got to say, and it acts as the perfect balance to some of the more profound things you might like to say. This should be an entertaining speech with some pretty big messages wrapped up in it – the entertainment factor keeps people interested because there’s only so much emotion people can take.  

However, when it comes to jokes and comedy, I’m not talking about the scripted gags you’ll find on the internet, this is about working out how to make situations and events in your life funny when you’re introducing people and thanking them. Work out what it is that’s funny about your new father in law and have some fun with it. What is it that your new wife doesn’t like about you? How can you exploit your best man’s character flaws? There’s comedy gold out there, you just have to look for it!

Many grooms see the speech as an opportunity to dish out a little treat to people that have helped and who also mean a lot to them, unfortunately it’s one of the most counterproductive things you can do in a speech. Making the whole room twiddle their thumbs whilst various people make their way up to the top table to collect tankards etc. not only makes the speech unbearably long, but also it stops it dead in its tracks.

Forward momentum is the key to a great speech and the last thing you want to do is have to get everyone back on board again. I always recommend handing out the gifts in a private moment on the morning of the wedding.

Marrying across nations

So many weddings involve the coming together of different nationalities and cultures, which adds extra fun and excitement to an already amazing day, but it can also provide a few challenges when it comes language barriers. I have written for countless grooms in this position, and here’s what I recommend:

The groom’s speech is the one that can run away with you and take on epic proportions if you’re not careful. The main problem is that most grooms want to include far too many people in the speech, and talk about them in far too much detail, and there simply isn’t time to do that.

You should really aim for a total word count of 1400 words, which on the day, when read at a steady pace, will come in at around the 10 minute mark, maybe a touch longer with stoppages. Speeches always take longer on the day than they do when you’re practicing at home, but if you’re looking at anything over 1500 words then it really is time to snip a few words here and there.

You’ve also got to bear in mind that if the Father of the bride has spoken for a while and you’re up for half an hour, guests will have sat through an hour of speeches before they get to the best man, and that’s way too long.

It may sound counterintuitive, but detail really kills a speech. That doesn’t mean your speech should be a bland overview, but rather save the detail for where it really matters.

writing grooms speech

Lead the way

Most grooms don’t make the most of their position, and that’s a shame because as the guy in charge you can do your bit to ensure that the speeches are a huge hit, and not several hours of your life you’ll never get back.

The maximum number of toasts I would have is 4. You need a general toast at the end, a toast to the bridesmaids, a toast to the parents, and also a toast to those no longer with us.

Of course, this is completely optional but ending your speech without a toast would be odd and also tradition states that you should toast the bridesmaids, so if you’re going to drop any of them it should be the parents and those departed. I would resist the urge to make more than four toasts, so forget the best man, ushers, helpers etc.

One of the pitfalls of a groom speech is having no balance to it because you’re far too keen to talk about your bride. Diving straight in to the subject of the bride might seem like a great idea, but the latter end of the speech and conclusion should all be about her, and so there’s no point in beginning the speech talking about her and then ending it talking about her. I have seen many groom speeches which are only made up of talking about the bride and how amazing she is. You can try it, but it won’t work.

Stag weekend

Ok, it was a great few days away in Magaluf, Berlin or Ljubljana, but those things are best shared with all the survivors at the pub rather than in the groom speech.

Of course, you can thank the best man for organising a great stag weekend, but don’t isolate the rest of the room by recounting stories that make 6 people laugh and the rest of the room scratching their heads. All too often it comes across as boorish and a little conceited, and so far, has never made it into any groom speech that I’ve ever written.

One of the most entertaining areas of wedding speeches is reading what other so-called experts suggest adding to, or indeed making, your speech. You may not have the greatest speech in the world, but as long as you avoid these appalling pieces of advice, seen elsewhere, you’ll at least scrape through with your dignity intact. So, never ever …

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writing grooms speech

The Groom Speech: Here's What to Write, Say & Do

Groom giving speech during wedding reception.

Traditionally, the father of the bride, the best man, and maid of honor are the ones who take the mic during the wedding reception to share a few words and toast the newlyweds as they embark on their new life together. These days, however, grooms are also opting to stand up and give a speech to welcome guests and thank them for being there to celebrate the special day. Writing and delivering a memorable wedding speech is no easy feat, though, especially if it's your first time. It requires preparation, creativity, and a hefty dose of confidence. To help ensure you give a great groom speech on your wedding day, we chatted with wedding vow and speech writer Alexis Dent of XO Juliet . Ahead, learn how to write a heartfelt, entertaining groom's speech and speech tips on how to deliver it with confidence on the big day.

How Long Should a Groom Speech Be?

Grooms speeches typically take place during the wedding reception. In general, it's best to keep wedding speeches relatively short, especially if there will be multiple speeches such as the father of the bride speech, the best man speech, and the maid of honor speech. You don't want the speeches to cut into the dinner and dancing portion of the wedding reception. According to Dent, about three minutes is the sweet spot for a groom's speech. That would equate to about 300-400 written words, depending on how quickly you speak.

How to Write a Groom Speech

A groom speech template.

Every groom's speech will be unique and different depending on their personality, what they'd like to share, and who they want to thank. But, in case you need some guidance, here's an outline of a structure Dent recommends following as you write your groom's speech. Whatever you do, Dent adds, ensure that you tap into your emotions and write your groom toast from the heart.

Thank your new spouse. First and foremost, start by thanking your new spouse and say a few words about how much this new phase of your relationship means to you.

Thank VIPs in your life. This could be your own parents, mother and father in-law, friends, family members, your wedding party (bridesmaids and groomsmen), or anyone else who made the wedding day possible.

Share a story. Next, follow the thank yous with a story. Dent suggests a positive anecdote that illustrates the road you and your new spouse had to travel to make it to this milestone.

End with a toast. And last but not least, Dent recommends concluding the groom speech with a toast to your forever partner and a lifetime of love together.

Who Does the Groom Thank in His Speech?

"Grooms should thank everyone that made an impact not only on their wedding day but on their relationship as a whole," Dent says. "Most grooms thank both families and members of the wedding party." Be sure to include a thank you to anyone else who is particularly special and those who traveled far as well, she adds. You can also throw in a quick thank you to your wedding vendors (wedding planner, photographers, staff, etc.) for making the wedding day possible.

That said, ensure you keep the focus of your speech on your significant other. "While it's important to thank the people in attendance and the people who made this day possible, at the end of the day, it comes down to you and your new spouse — and your speech should reflect that," Dent says.

How to Give a Groom Speech

Groom speech jokes.

For jokes in a groom speech, Dent's best piece of advice is to know your audience. For instance, a dirty joke may be funny at an adults-only wedding reception but not appropriate if kids are in attendance. Use your best judgment on whether a joke will be well received. Also, Dent recommends avoiding inside jokes as only a handful of guests would understand them and can make things feel awkward if the joke doesn't land. If you're unsure of what joke to include, Dent's fail-proof groom's speech joke is to mention how guests are here for dinner drinks and not to listen to long speeches like these.

Closeup of two bridesmaids holding wedding flowers

Groom Speech Example

Got writer's block? No worries. Below Dent shares a fully written groom's speech you can use as inspiration.

"Good evening everyone!

I know everyone is probably dreading one of my infamous and long-winded stories right now, but I promise to keep it short so we can all hit the dance floor.

I wanted to take a few moments to express my appreciation for all the support we've received; it has made this day and evening one to remember. There are too many people that I am utterly indebted to for helping our wedding go off without a hitch, but I want to shout out our photographer, our wedding party, and our parents in particular. To all of our guests, who traveled from both near and far, I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time out of your lives to celebrate Alex and me. This day would not be nearly as magical without you all here, and I'm incredibly grateful for your presence.

Quite a few of you are involved in our love story and have played an integral role in us making it to this amazing milestone in life. I want to give special thanks to Alex's family in particular. You have accepted me entirely, you treat me as if I was your own, and you have really helped Alex and me over the years when times were tough. I have felt such a level of acceptance from all of you in a way that I never could have expected. Marie and Dan, you have truly raised a wonderful human, and all she is is because of you.

Now for my own family! Mom and Dad, thank you for the unwavering emotional support you have shown me throughout the years. You have given me more grace than I deserve and have loved Sam like she's your own. I aspire to have a marriage half as strong and a love half as unrelenting as yours.

Once again, thank you Trina, Kari, Tom, and Rick for helping us make it down the aisle. You guys are the best friends and most epic entourage that a guy could ask for.

Last of all, thank you, Alex. I still cannot believe how lucky I am.

Let's raise a glass to each other, to love, and to happily ever after.

How to End the Groom Speech

The end of any speech tends to be the most memorable as it's the last thing your guests will hear so you really want to make it count. Don't let this stress you out though. Dent says keeping the groom speech close super simple is best. She recommends simply raising a glass to your new spouse and toasting to many happy years of marriage. Classic, short, and to the point—you can't go wrong.

Write the groom speech on paper.

Although it may be tempting to just read your speech off your phone, Dent advices writing it on paper or printing it out instead. "Reading from a piece of paper is much more visually appealing, and it'll look much more timeless when you look back at your photos," she says.

Practice, practice, practice.

Preparing for public speaking requires repetition. Even though you'll be reading it off the paper and don't need to memorize it, be sure to still practice reciting it a few times before the wedding day so you feel confident in your delivery and can maintain a nice rhythm and eye contact. Dent suggests practicing in front of close friends and family as well who can provide feedback on the content and the delivery. "You want to be sure that they are happy with the speech and that it is reflective of both partners," Dent says.

What NOT to Say in a Groom Speech

When it comes to what not to say in a groom's speech, negativity is definitely at the top of the list. "Focus on the amazing wedding day and the joy it has brought — even if everything about the wedding has not gone as planned," Dent says. Also, she adds, avoid sharing embarrassing stories about your new spouse in your speech, unless, of course, you've discussed it with them and it's an interesting or funny anecdote that would entertain your guests.

Groom and groom's parents walking down the aisle

writing grooms speech

Groom Wedding Speech Guide with Examples

The groom’s speech is a big part of the wedding experience for everybody and for good reasons. This is an opportunity for the groom to share with all guests, family, and friends just how much he loves, appreciates, and is excited to be the husband of his new wife.

It is also his chance to thank the bride’s parents, welcome everybody, perhaps while also showing his personality and funny side. Yep, the groom has a lot of work to do during his wedding speech.

To help you write an unforgettable groom speech we put together this helpful guide. It includes everything you need to write and deliver your groom speech.

Groom delivering speech at wedding with bride by his side.


Like we mentioned, the groom’s speech has a lot to accomplish in a short amount of time. The most important part of the groom’s wedding speech by far is to acknowledge his new wife in front of all of the wedding guests. That is what makes a groom’s toast so meaningful. We like to see the groom focus on his wife. How they met, how much she means to him, why he loves her so much, and sharing just how excited he is about the future.

The groom’s wedding toast must also thank the people involved in making their wedding a memorable occasion, thank the parents of the bride for their daughter, and for welcoming him into their family. The best groom speech also thanks guests for supporting the bride and groom and for all their good wishes and gifts. Finally, the groom’s speech says thanks to specific people who helped organize the wedding and thanks to the bridal party.

Nice-to-have elements of the groom’s speech (if there is enough time) include mentioning family who couldn’t attend the wedding. The groom can also have a go at his best man in a lighthearted fashion, maybe saying some memories of the two terrorizing while single and young.


You could just get up and ramble for 10 mins, or you could plan ahead and write your groom’s speech ahead of time. You guessed it; we’re fans of planning ahead. Let’s start with the basic groom speech structure when you sit down to write. This is an easy starting place:

The tone of your speech needs to balance sincerity and humor. Spend some time thinking about how you want to deliver the speech. With the above vital points written, think about how you can add a touch of humor to them.

Humor helps make the speech entertaining for sitting guests and relieves some of the pressure felt standing in front of a crowd. Keep the humor appropriate and positive. Nobody wants to hear you giving off-color jokes. A joke or two and maybe a few one-liners is perfect.

Don’t be afraid to add some genuine comments about how you feel about your new wife and your family and friends. The easiest way to do this is to think about your new wife. Talk about your feelings for her, remember how you first met and why you wanted to marry her.

An easy technique is to directly address that part of the speech and tell her how happy she has made you, how you can’t believe your luck, and how you’re looking forward to building a future together.

Use specific anecdotes, such as when you realized you were in love and would be with your now wife forever. Also, don’t forget to tell her again how beautiful she looks.

Time is the other issue with the groom’s wedding speech.  Avoid a long toast at all costs. Remember that typically several speeches will take place, so you want to take up too much time, and you definitely want to avoid boring all the guests.

While your groom toast should have substance, keep it short and sweet for the best results. You have a lot to say and can’t spend 20 minutes doing so. When you sit down to write your groom speech, the most challenging part will be fitting in so much into such a short space of time.

Once you start writing, coming up with ideas and things to say won’t be the issue. It will be challenging to weave all these elements together in an original, memorable way while being very concise.

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If you are not a talented writer or a professional motivational speaker, finding the right words to say at your wedding can be challenging. It is much easier to get started when you can see (or hear) what other grooms have done before you. We get it!

That’s why we rounded up some great examples of groom speeches. You can see from the list that we tried to cover various groom speech examples. Everything from funny groom speeches, the best groom speeches we could find, short groom speech examples, groom speech jokes, groom speech quotes, and more.


When it comes to wedding speeches, humor is not the only thing that can and should be the focus. We absolutely love how this groom shared many heartfelt thoughts about his new wife. This groom speech is an example of how you can truly share the love you feel by using words.


This groom speech example is more traditional in nature. It hits all the right points and is a safe play for a groom.

“Ladies and Gentlemen: I would like to thank Steve for those sincere words and both Bobbie and Steve for the love that they have both shown me, not only in preparation for today but from the first moment that we met some two and a half years ago.

I don’t know who was more surprised that first night when Marcella brought me home without warning when they were sitting there all ready for bed in their satin bath robes and Steve in his Snoopy slippers.

Anyway, quickly moving on, I did have a speech all worked out for this occasion, but, of course, now that I’m a married man, Marcella has insisted that I read from the one that she has written for me.

So here goes:

On behalf of my wife and me…I suppose I’m going to have to get used to that; I would like to start by thanking everyone here today for sharing our very special day with us. Thank you for all the wonderful gifts and cards that you have given us; we are very touched by your generosity. I’m certainly looking forward to seeing how Steve has managed to gift-wrap the Wheelbarrow!

We have both been very nervous about today, and it means a great deal to us that you are sharing our day with us; and we hope that you are enjoying the occasion every bit as much as we are.

Most people on their wedding day describe it as the happiest day of their lives. That worries me because it implies that tomorrow there’s a lifelong decline ahead, so I’m making the most of today. However, I’m so happy today that even days less happy would still be blissful.

I would like to say a special thank-you to those of you that have traveled some distance to be here today. It is quite a humbling experience to realize that you have friends and family that care so much for you. And I do genuinely mean that.”


This groom also took the traditional route. This sample groom speech is a little longer.

“On behalf of my wife and I, we’d like to thank you all for coming here today and sharing our special day with us. There are times when it’s good to be surrounded by people who are important to you, and for us, this is one of those occasions. We hope that you’re enjoying it every bit as much as we are, and we’d like to thank you for your kind wishes, cards, presents, and support.

We must say we’ve been impressed by the number of people that have rallied around to help us in preparation for today; if you’re not mentioned by name, and that’s most of you, please be assured that Kate and I are very grateful.

David and Maggie, thank you not only for your hospitality this evening and your kindness but also for giving me your very beautiful daughter. I promise I’ll take good care of her and, of course, do everything she tells me to, even if it involves golf! I must confess I did actually try it a while ago, and during one lesson with the local pro, I asked him whether he had seen any improvement since my last lesson. And he said, “er… yup, that’s a much better haircut”.

So, Maggie, we have a present here for you.

I also want to say thank you to my parents who put up with me for all these years; you have both been there for me when I’ve needed you and given me a wonderful start in life, and I’m very fortunate and proud to have you as my mum and dad. I have a present for you here, Mum, as a thank you.

I can imagine that Neil, my best man, is getting impatient to make his speech soon. Now many people don’t know that Neil suffers from a rare medical condition that causes him to invent fanciful stories. He really does believe these stories to be true, and I thank you for humoring him during his speech.

I am absolutely delighted to stand here today with Kate; I never knew what was missing in my life before I met her. Kate has been a source of friendship, support, and love. Of course, I do not doubt that she is going to tell me afterward that the only thing missing in my life at the moment is golf. However, I am still waiting for her to explain the attraction to a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

And finally, the bridesmaids, thanks for calming Kate nerves and helping in her preparation today. I’d also like to thank you for getting her to the church in one piece and on time; you’ve done a brilliant job. We have a small gift for each of you as a token of our appreciation.

Well, that’s it from me for now, but before I pass you over to my best man, Ladies and Gentlemen, please stand and lift your glasses and join me in a toast to bridesmaids.


This is a short speech but gets to the point quickly. We love the simplicity, definitely one of the best short groom toasts.

“Firstly, I would like to say thank you to Bob and Karen. Thank you for your beautiful daughter, Amy. Your contribution to today has been amazing. Thank you for taking me into his family; it has meant a lot to me. Most importantly, thank you for raising such an amazing and beautiful woman. Doesn’t my wife look amazing today? Wow, called Amy, my wife. Feels weird.

Secondly, I’d like to thank all of you for coming today. It is amazing to feel all this love and friendship. Thank you for your good wishes and for joining us in our celebration. Thank you for your gifts; I am sure they will help us in our new life together, so thank you.

Also, thank you to the bridesmaids; you all look amazing. Today wouldn’t have been the same without you helping my beautiful bride through today. So thank you.

Finally, to my wife. I just want to say a massive thank-you for always being here for me, making me happy, and marrying me. I love you.

For those of you who don’t know, we men do have dreams of our wedding day when we are younger. They may not be about the same as you women, about dresses and big churches, but nevertheless, we do have the dreams. When I was younger, my dream was to marry a beautiful woman, be happy for the rest of our lives, have a family, and have a nice home. This is what I wanted from marriage. When I met Amy, I knew that she was different. She made me laugh in different ways, and the feeling of happiness I get when I am around her cannot be described. My wife is more than I could ever have hoped for. I love you, honey.

There are so many good times that Amy and I have enjoyed together, days out, holidays, and nights out with friends and family. But like all couples, we have had lows. Fallings out, family bereavements, and arguments between ourselves. But all these factors have made us who we are today—a strong couple who work brilliantly together.

Finally, I would like to thank you again to all of you for celebrating with us today.

And could you all please raise your glasses to my beautiful wife, the one I love, Amy?”


“Distinguished guests, guests of no particular distinction, relatives young and old, friends, freeloaders, hangers-on, gypsies, tramps, thieves, and anyone else who may have wandered in, you are all about to witness a unique event in history. The very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. However, it is a privilege and an honor to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don’t let Sue down.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention! To be honest, I didn’t really know where to start, so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours, I‘d found some really, really good stuff. But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech. Before I start, there will be plenty of toasts over the next few minutes, so please make sure that your glasses are charged.

Firstly, we’d like to thank Philip for his kind words and good wishes. And to thank him for paying for this lovely reception …(pause and look at him) What? I thought you said…….No, I’m only joking – you don’t need to find the key for the padlock on your wallet!

It’s lovely to see so many of our family and friends here today to help us celebrate the happiest day of our lives. I know that some of you have traveled a long way to be here, and that means a lot to us. It really wouldn’t be the same without you all. It’d be a darned sight cheaper, but that’s not the point. Thank you all for your very generous gifts, and a special thanks to those of you who have given cheques. No, we are grateful for those, especially as we’ll be using the checks’ details to set up direct debits paying our bills for years to come. Who said that identity fraud is a bad idea?

Unfortunately, it’s not been possible to have everyone we love here with us today, but we know they’re here with us in spirit, and they’re not only in our thoughts today, but more importantly, they’re with us in our hearts. So, with them in mind, would you please all stand, raise your glasses, and join me in a toast to absent family & friends.

2023 Wedding Trends We’re Looking Forward To

(To absent family and friends)

I’d also like to thank Sue’s mum sincerely and dad, Val and Peter, for making me feel like the son they never wanted – sorry, the son they never had, right from day two. Day one was a bit rough, but I *think* they’re over it now. Her brothers, too, have never made me feel anything other than welcome, and I thank them for that.

It can be very difficult when two families come together, but we have been extremely lucky. Sue’s children, Philip and Emma, have welcomed me into their family, and my children, Molly and Emily, have welcomed Sue into theirs. We all get on so well, and that is a rare thing indeed. And something that has been made possible by all of our children. So I’d like to propose a toast to Philip, Emma, Molly, and Emily.

 (To Philip, Emma, Molly, and Emily)

My Dad has helped me enormously over the years and has seen me through thick and thin. Mainly thick, if I’m honest, but he’s been there for me, and I hope that I have done him proud. I really couldn’t have asked for a better father, and I thank you for everything that you have done, not just for me but for my wife and me. Thank you.

There is an unwritten rule of wedding etiquette that states that nobody should look more handsome than the groom, and I’d like to thank our ushers, Steve and Peter, for sticking to that rule to the letter. They have both lent an air of ‘nightclub bouncer respectability’ to their roles, and I particularly admired the way they searched the ladies’ handbags and frisked the men as they came in with such discretion and subtlety. I’m not quite sure that saying “You’ll sit where you’re ruddy well put” was really in the spirit of the day, but we’ll let that pass. Thanks to both of you.

I have known Richard, my Best Man, for nearly seventeen years now, and throughout that time, he has been there for me when it matters and is always ready with an encouraging word and a welcome bottle of Rioja when things are going badly. And, if I’m honest, when things are going well. I’d like to thank him for all his help in organizing the stag do and for creating the table plan for us. But, most importantly, I’d like to thank him for being a true friend. However, there is something that I need to make you aware of. Rich suffers from a strange condition that occasionally causes him to drift in and out of weird, strange flights of fantasy. He has been known to make up fanciful stories, absolutely believing them to be true. Anyway, it’s only right that I advise you all of this ahead of his speech. As I say, he is a true friend, and I wouldn’t want you to go upsetting him, so if you could bear with him, even join with him on his journey of make-believe, I would appreciate it.

Apart from my wife, there are three other beautiful ladies here today: Sue’s daughter Emma and my daughters, Molly and Emily. We’d like to thank them very much for being such wonderful bridesmaids. So, please stand and join me in a toast to the bridesmaids.

(To the bridesmaids!)

Finally, I would like to thank my wife – I think I’m going to enjoy getting used to saying that – for agreeing to marry me and making me the happiest man in the world. I think you’ll agree that she looks absolutely gorgeous today, and when she walked up the aisle, she took my breath away.

They say you don’t marry someone you can live with-you marry the person who you can’t live without, and I think that sums us up perfectly. Now, if I had to single out one thing about why I love Sue so much, it would be the fact that she makes me happier than I ever dreamed I could be. And I intend to spend the rest of my life making sure that the reverse is also true. I know that Sue has put a huge amount of effort into making today perfect, and I think that she has done that and more. Having lived with Sue for a couple of years now, I have learned a valuable lesson – when I’m wrong, admit it. When I’m right, keep quiet! Seriously though, I never have a problem finding the words to express my love for Sue, but if I start then, I probably won’t be able to stop. Suffice to say that, Sue, I love you so much, and I can’t wait to grow old with you. Ladies and gentlemen, please stand and raise your glasses to my wife, Sue.

Now, I’m not going to stand here all afternoon and bore you all with a load of stale old jokes. That’s the Best Man’s job! So, without further ado, I’d like to hand it over to Richard.”


“Ladies and Gentlemen, friends and family, on behalf of my beautiful wife and myself, thank you very much for being here today. I can safely say it wouldn’t have been the same without you all…although it would have been cheaper.

More specifically, I’d like to thank Jerry, my new father-in-law, for all the kind words and wishes.

In addition, I’d like to thank both Jerry and Jan for all their kindness in the last 2 years and for keeping a straight face when they heard I had proposed to their daughter. I’ve always chosen to assume those were tears of joy, Jan.

I would also like to thank mom and dad, Beth and Lee, for all their love and support growing up. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be standing here now. Thanks for the ride, guys.

Thanks to Ross, my best man who’s been a speech is, we might even stay friends.

I’d also like to thank Jen’s bridesmaids, Grace and Zoe, for keeping her calm over the last 24 hours or so and, of course, for being such good friends to her all this time.

Which love, support, friendship, trust, and a million other things. Basically, thank you for being you.

So with no further ado and despite my better judgment, I’ll hand you over to Ross.”


Here is a great video example of a groom using humor to get past his fear of public speaking. Check it out now.


What an incredible speech! This is an example of a groom speech that touches on two cultures joining together. In this speech, the groom shares why he still believes in “weddings”. He has some great promises to his bride. You can really get some great groom speech inspiration from this awesome speech. Have some tissues handy, you may shed a few tears. WOW! Love is so magical.


Here are some fun quotes you can use in your wedding speech. These groom speech jokes should be used sparingly; remember that the idea is to add some humor but not go overboard.


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Free returns, taxes & duty paid, how to write a groom speech in 2023, a guide by professional speech writers speechy..

Groom in black checked wedding suit preparing to give a groom speech.


By professional speech writers, speechy.

Writing a groom speech is challenging, among the dozens of other things you need to do on the day of your wedding. But, a great speech is still the ultimate accessory. We asked the wedding speechwriting team at Speechy for their advice on how to write a modern groom speech.

Prepare to adapt

The last few years have taught us that nothing is certain. Despite this uncertainty, it’s no excuse to leave your speech till the last minute, even if that’s your normal style. Sadly, it’s rare for grooms to be hit by divine inspiration in the fortnight before their wedding, so take the time to put the work into your speech early.

Write the core of it and adapt the opening and toast depending on whether you’re addressing a smaller audience than you expected or one that is overjoyed to be back in a room together celebrating together.

Tell your story

Don’t get bogged down with etiquette guides and feel you have to be overly formal. Yes, thank the important people but it’s fine to start your speech with a ‘Well hello everyone’ rather than addressing your guests as ‘ladies and gentleman’ (chances are they’re not!).

Begin with a few insights about you as a couple: perhaps an anecdote from when you started dating or an account of any bumps in the road you hit while planning your wedding. If you’ve both managed to choose your wedding outfits (including your wedding suit ) and accessories without a fuss, well done. These are the big decisions.

Don’t be shy in acknowledging the difficult times you might have faced; guests will naturally be able to relate. This needn’t be maudlin – humour lightens the hefty reality of all that’s happened since 2020 and helps you bond with your audience.

Cut the groom speech clichés

If there’s one thing every boring speech has in common, it’s being packed full of platitudes. Resist the urge to use catchwords like ‘best friend’ or ‘soulmate’ to describe your spouse. These are unoriginal and add nothing to the speech.

Every groom thinks his partner is gorgeous, kind and generally amazing, so make sure you prove, don’t tell. If yours has been checking in with all your elderly neighbours throughout the pandemic, give this some well-deserved acknowledgment.

Think about their unique character quirks – wedding planning may have accentuated some of these. Perhaps their super creative, DIY frenzy made you discover one of their hidden talents. Or maybe you were amazed at the way they made every effort to include people you love in your wedding ceremony.

grooms speech tips

Hunt the humour

Step away from the Googled jokes. Yes, it’s tempting but wedding one-liners are just not on these days. Ask yourself lots of questions. How does your partner make you laugh? What do you regularly ‘debate’? What do you do that annoys them? Remember the old adage ‘it’s funny because it’s true’.

Avoid starting your speech with the thank yous. Hook your audience with the entertaining stuff and get round to the formal stuff later. Don’t turn your speech into a roll call – there’s no obligation to namecheck half your guests. You certainly don’t need to thank anyone who’s been paid for their help.

There might be people whose support has been particularly significant in the past year. Give them a special mention, of course, but consider offering gifts and a more personal thank you at another time, to spare the guests who are there for the laughs.

Keep it punchy

There’s a skill in keeping your speech short. A groom’s speech should generally be between a thousand and 1,300 words. Any longer and you risk losing your audience.

Stories and jokes are stronger the punchier they are. ‘Command X’ is your friend – get rid of anything that needs too much explaining. If an anecdote is particularly long-winded, it’s unlikely to win any genuine laughs – drop it. We promise the more ruthless you are at the cutting stage, the funnier your speech will be.

No one even sat through a wedding speech and thought ‘If only it was longer’.

grooms speech tips

The minimony

That’s jargon for ‘small wedding’ if you’re wondering fellas, something that’s become super trendy since the pandemic. Delivering a speech to a very exclusive guestlist requires a change of tone. Having fewer expectant faces in the audience allows more of an ‘in-joke’ vibe to your anecdotes which, chances are, most of your guests have heard before in a less formal setting.

Less background noise might feel intimidatingly quiet, but embrace the intimacy of the occasion – a small group, giggling together is a real tonic. These are literally your nearest and dearest, so give your speech the affectionate tone that warrants.

Prepare to deliver

A confident delivery is key, and sadly, Dutch Courage is a myth. Limit yourself to no more one than one drink before the speech. Using notes is fine (on thick quality paper, or maybe off your phone at a push) but you need to know your speech beforehand. It’ll help it to flow more naturally.

In the run-up to the day, film yourself giving the speech, then watch it back and decide where you should put more emphasis or slow down. Don’t forget to delete it off your phone or risk your performance being outed before the big day!

As a general guide, slow down and talk at half the speed you would do in normal conversation. It feels odd at first, but it really does make you sound more confident.

On the day, maintain as much eye contact with the guests as possible, especially the people you’re thanking. Prepare for good-natured heckling and make sure you pause where you expect laughter (it will come, promise). And relax – smiling is contagious, and if you’re feeling comfortable then people will be able to see that and they’ll feel relaxed too.

Do what you need to feel confident

Whether it’s practicing in front of the mirror, roping your best mates or family in to be the practice audience (even though they might hear it in real time too) or getting the right fit for your  suit  so that you look your best, do what it takes to boost your confidence. You need to feel prepared and at free from nerves, sometimes that just takes a haircut, some practice and a bit of peace.

If you need to take yourself away from things beforehand just to have a little relaxation time and to mentally prepare, that’s cool. Just mention it beforehand so that no one thinks you’ve bailed.

Once your speech is over you take a little time out to reflect, relax or decompress if you need to. We’re sure you’ll have smashed it!

Speechy is a team of ex-BBC TV scriptwriters who now specialise in wedding speeches. Make a speech to be proud of with its quality speech templates, speech reviews and bespoke speeches.



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