how to solve your family problems

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• Family Life

How to Solve Your Family Problems

Last Updated: February 24, 2023 References Approved

This article was co-authored by Jin S. Kim, MA . Jin Kim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based out of Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ individuals, people of color, and those that may have challenges related to reconciling multiple and intersectional identities. Jin received his Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles, with a specialization in LGBT-Affirming Psychology, in 2015. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 16 testimonials and 90% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 393,722 times.

Most of us have been there: Families can be very difficult, and family problems are very painful. However, there are ways to solve family problems and restore peace to the dynamic. Life is too short to waste time bogged down with negativity towards the people you love. How you approach the family member and what you say can make a big difference.

Beginning the Discussion

• Don't discuss the family problem when you're still feeling upset or emotional. If you wait even a single night, the intensity of the emotion is likely to subside somewhat, even if you're still unhappy.
• Waiting allows you to approach the issue logically, rather than emotionally. If you take a step back and give yourself some time to think before dealing with the issue, you won’t deal with it so reactively.
• Approaching someone when you are angry will heighten the intensity around an already tough situation. There's no reason you can't wait to make your point tomorrow, so control your instant impulse.

• That's because tone can too easily be misperceived by electronic communication. You might not think you sound angry, but you might sound angry by text to the person receiving it.
• Instead of sending off a text, pick up the telephone or, better yet, arrange an in-person meeting. Electronic communication means people lose the touchstones of body language, which can convey empathy and reduce the sting of a painful conversation.
• People say things by electronic communication that they would never say to another person's face, which is another reason to avoid it.

• Understanding that family members have faults, but you can still love them, is the first step toward addressing longstanding problems. Try to understand why they might act or think the way they do, as it can be a reflection of themselves rather than you.
• Accept your own faults, too. Accept blame when you deserve it. Try not to see family issues as all or nothing equations where someone is wrong and someone else (perhaps you) is right. Instead, try to perceive the gray areas. Nuances are exciting!
• It can do wonders to be the first person to apologize even if you really, truly, don’t think you did anything wrong. Say something like, “I can see you’re upset, and although this has been hard for me too, I am sorry. I really want to fix this, so let me know how I can do that.” That way if the family member continues the feud, at least you can say you took the high road.

• That means avoiding judgment words or name calling of the family member. It means avoiding accusatory words that are said in an angry tone. Blaming other people will make them defensive and prone to counter attacking, which will make the argument worse.
• Avoid the need to “win” the argument about the family problem. Instead, try to accept that there are two, or more, ways to see the point. Develop a plan for solving the problem together. Then, focus on organizing activities where you can have fun together, avoiding anything that could serve as a “trigger,” reigniting the problem. Explore new sides of your family members and new ways of relating to them.
• Keep your tone and voice calm and modulated, not raised and upset. Calmly and methodically explain your points, but with empathy for the other person. Always try to put yourself in the family member’s shoes. Make attempts to cool down the argument by throwing out conciliatory comments, like, “I see your point.”

• However, ultimately forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the corrosive nature of the dispute. Forgiving the family member is about letting go of the past so you can build a healthier future that is free of tension and stress.
• Tell the family member you forgive him or her if the family member has readily admitted blame for whatever is causing the problem. Say this with empathy. It will go a long way.
• Remember that every human being is imperfect and needing of forgiveness at one time or another on life’s journey. That’s including you, probably, at some point.

Getting at the Root of the Problem

• You may need to engage in some self-analysis here. Why am I hiding my issue from my family? Why am I so upset at this family issue? For example, perhaps you are struggling with financial concerns over how your mother is spending her money. You may then realize that you are concerned because you do not want her to end up with no way to support herself financially, as you do not have the means to provide for her.
• Don’t assume what other people are thinking. You need to talk to them to find out what they are really thinking. Avoid gossiping about other people in the family as this will probably get back to them and make it worse. Focus on causes, not symptoms. [1] X Research source
• However, a trusted family member, such as a parent or another sibling, might be able to help you figure out what is really going on, so it’s OK to talk to them in a way that is heartfelt and designed to solve or address the issue.

• In contrast, asking questions softens the conversation and can draw out what's really bothering the person. Questions make the family member feel like he or she is not being condemned. Ask the other family member his or her ideas for making the situation better.
• For example, let's say that your sister has been really distant from you lately and not inviting you out for coffee like she used to. You could say, "I've noticed that we haven't seen each as much as we used to. Why do you think that is?" Or, you may try to address your mother's spending habits by saying, "I've noticed that you have been spending more money on clothing lately. Are you being responsible with money?"
• Make sure the questions are open-ended so that they provoke the other person to elaborate. Then, truly listen to what the family member has to say.

• Perhaps an older, wiser family member can be asked to intervene and set up a meeting or talk to the other family member first, acting as sort of a mediator. In order to open the line of communication, you will have to set aside your pride. Remember it takes a big person to be the first person to tackle the problem. [3] X Research source
• Ignoring the problem while it festers will probably only make it worse in the long run as the coldness grows between you. It’s better to express how you feel, but choose the right time and way to do so. For example, it may be a bad idea to bring up a family problem at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
• Avoid drinking before having a tough family conversation. Alcohol can fuel emotions in a lot of people, even when used in moderation, and that’s usually not the best thing when trying to have a difficult family conversation.

Jin S. Kim, MA

Communicating with others doesn't have to be done face-to-face. If you're struggling to communicate with a family member, you could write a note or letter and leave it for them to find, or you could send a text message to discuss an issue and ask about talking later.

• Some family problems can be caused by differences of opinion, such as differing cultural values or beliefs. Parents and children may end up not able to agree on lifestyle choices and personal preferences or beliefs.
• Other family problems stem from substance abuse, mental health problems, bullying, lack of trust, change in family circumstances, financial issues, stress, sexuality-related issues, and jealousy.

Addressing the Family Problem

• The first step is trying to figure out whether the problem is solvable. That depends on the nature of the problem, and what’s already been done to solve it. If you’ve tried and tried and keep getting the same result, that may be different.
• But consider what points of common ground you have with the other person, and what points you would be willing to give in on. If you don’t give in on anything, you’re less likely to make headway in the dispute.
• One technique to develop compromise is for both people in the dispute to sit down and draw two circles that relate to the family problem. In the first circle, write down everything you’re not willing to compromise on. In the outer circle, write down the areas where you are willing to bend. Then, share the circles.

• Instead of broaching painful family problems at holiday gatherings or a big family dinner, try to figure out who the conflict is really between. If it's between you and one other family member, the rest of the family may feel very uncomfortable being dragged into it, because no one likes to be forced to take a side.
• Instead, ask the family member in question to meet you for lunch or coffee. Talking one-on-one in a neutral space can be a much better way to redress whatever grievances you have or they might have. People will say things individually that they would hesitate to say in a group.
• Don’t try talking to the family member when you’re distracted, working on a big work project, fielding a bunch of phone calls, doing the dishes, or the like. Instead, put everything down to focus on the issue and them.

• For example, perhaps the family problem involves a job loss, disability, or money problems. Calling the family together to come up with ideas to solve the problem helps everyone feel like they are doing something useful.
• Use the family council as the foundation to develop a strategy to move the family forward in a positive manner. More minds are usually better at tackling a problem than one is.
• Make sure one family member doesn’t dominate the discussion, and explain that anger or name calling should be checked at the door.

• Handwriting is good because it's more personal. It shows that you put care and thought behind the letter, and it seems warmer. That will make the other family members realize that you are trying.
• Some people communicate better in writing but veil their thoughts and emotions more in person or on the phone. If you are one of those people, a letter might be the way to go.
• In the letter, you should explain how you feel and why you want to address the family issue. Use the word "I" more than the word "you" in the letter so you are stating your perspective and not blaming or speaking for anyone else. Explain how the problem is affecting you, but also explain how you would like the problem to be resolved and why.

• Place the problem in front of the child. Explain the problem very clearly. You might say something like, "We have noticed that you don’t get out of bed easily, making you late for school a lot. This is a problem that we need to solve."
• Don’t act angry. Instead, ask the child for help solving the problem. Suggest that the child come up with a plan to solve the issue with your help.
• Give the child positive reinforcement if the child makes progress toward solving the problem. Try to dig out the real reasons for the problem. Is the child hard to wake up because the child is on social media too late, for example?
• Don’t play favorites with children. Let the child know you love the child and that you want to solve the problem because you care about the child and want things to be better.

Letting Go of Family Problems

• The question to ask yourself is whether the family member has brought negatives into your life, draining you emotionally, stealing from you financially, undermining you, or any number of bad behaviors.
• You have a right to draw boundaries to protect yourself. For example, perhaps you still see the negative family member at family events, and you treat them with respect when you do. However, perhaps you have decided to never visit with them one-on-one or lend them money. This is within your right to do.
• Explain the boundaries to the family member in a warm and loving manner. However, be firm. Perhaps you can't stay over at a family member's house because fights always occur when you visit, so you will stay at a nearby hotel instead.

• Some family problems, like grief over a loved one or a parents inability to accept you for who you are, may not have solutions. Instead, you may need to accept that you have tried your best to communicate and connect with your family, to no avail. You may then need to move on from the issue and try to live your life the best you can.
• Although such situations are intensely personal, generally you should consider cutting the family member out of your life if the family problem involves abuse, either physical or sexual. Abuse should not be tolerated, of yourself or others. Abuse situations should be reported to the police or child protective services. [5] X Research source
• Serious substance abuse issues that continue to impact your life could be another reason. You can try to get a person help, but if they continue to refuse, you might have to cut them out for your own peace of mind.

• If the family member in question will not go to counseling, perhaps you could go on your own. A professional therapist can help you figure out how to deal with the family member and how to heal the rift. Reading books on relationships also can help some people, as can joining a support group. [6] X Research source
• If the family problem is rooted in issues like mental illness or substance abuse by you or another family member, a professional may be the only way for the family to start to heal. Some problems may be too complex for you to solve on your own.
• A counselor can help by simply being a neutral, objective ear on the problem. The professional might offer suggestions that you didn't think of or perceive aspects of the conflict that you wouldn't because you are too close to it.

Expert Q&A

You might also like.

• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pride-and-joy/201205/solving-common-family-problems-five-essential-steps
• ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them
• ↑ http://inspiyr.com/solve-family-problems/
• ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kenneth-barish-phd/how-to-solve-common-famil_b_3366853.html
• ↑ http://www.ilanelanzen.com/familyandparenting/how-to-solve-family-problems-that-could-devastate-a-family/
• ↑ http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-solve-family-problems-solutions-toxic-relatives/

About This Article

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

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If you want to solve your family problems, pick a time to discuss the issue in person when you aren't angry or upset. At the beginning of the conversation, remember to accept everyone's faults and imperfections, including your own, and talk about how you're feeling, rather than blaming others. Be open to forgiving someone who has wronged or hurt you. Throughout the discussion, be honest about what's going on, and ask questions to try to come to a mutual solution to the problem. For advice on addressing tough problems and learning how to let go, scroll down! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Family conflict

Actions for this page.

• Conflict can happen when family members have different views or beliefs that clash.
• Peaceful resolution depends on negotiation and respect for the other person’s point of view.
• Seek professional advice if you think you need help.

On this page

Common causes of family conflict, agreeing to negotiate, try to listen, work as a team, professional advice, where to get help, things to remember.

Conflict can happen when family members have different views or beliefs that clash. Sometimes conflict can occur when people misunderstand each other and jump to the wrong conclusion. Issues of conflict that are not resolved peacefully can lead to arguments and resentment. It is normal to disagree with each other from time to time. Occasional conflict is part of family life. However, ongoing conflict can be stressful and damaging to relationships. Some people find it difficult to manage their feelings and become intentionally hurtful, aggressive or even violent. Communicating in a positive way can help reduce conflict so that family members can reach a peaceful resolution. This usually means that everyone agrees to a compromise or agrees to disagree. Sometimes, strong emotions or the power imbalances that can be present in relationships are difficult to resolve and can only be addressed in a counselling situation.

It is well recognised that some of the stages a family goes through can cause conflict. These may include:

• Learning to live as a new couple
• Birth of a baby
• Birth of other children
• A child going to school
• A child becoming a young person
• A young person becoming an adult.

Each of these stages can create new and different stresses and potential conflict. Changes in the family situation can also take a toll on the family and contribute to conflict. This may include events such as:

• Separation or divorce
• Moving to a new house or country
• Travelling long distances to work
• Commuting interstate for work.
• Change in financial circumstances.

The opinions, values and needs of each parent can also change and they may find they are no longer compatible.

Usually, our first angry impulse is to push the point that we are right and win the argument at any cost. Finding a peaceful resolution can be difficult, if not impossible, when both parties stubbornly stick to their guns. It helps if everyone decides as a family to try listening to each other and negotiating instead. Suggestions include:

• Work out if the issue is worth fighting over.
• Try to separate the problem from the person.
• Try to cool off first if you feel too angry to talk calmly.
• Keep in mind that the idea is to resolve the conflict, not win the argument.
• Remember that the other party isn’t obliged to always agree with you on everything.
• Define the problem and stick to the topic.
• Respect the other person’s point of view by paying attention and listening.
• Talk clearly and reasonably.
• Try to find points of common ground.
• Agree to disagree.

Conflict can escalate when the people involved are too angry to listen to each other. Misunderstandings fuel arguments. Suggestions include:

• Try to stay calm.
• Try to put emotions aside.
• Don’t interrupt the other person while they are speaking.
• Actively listen to what they are saying and what they mean.
• Check that you understand them by asking questions.
• Communicate your side of the story clearly and honestly.
• Resist the urge to bring up other unresolved but unrelated issues.

Once both parties understand the views and feelings of the other, you can work out a solution together. Suggestions include:

• Come up with as many possible solutions as you can.
• Be willing to compromise.
• Make sure everyone clearly understands the chosen solution.
• Once the solution is decided on, stick to it.
• Write it down as a ‘contract’, if necessary.

There are services available to help family members work through difficult issues of conflict. Seek professional advice if you think you need some assistance.

• Your doctor
• Parentline Tel. 13 22 89
• Family Relationship Advice Line Tel. 1800 050 321 Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm, Saturday, 10am to 4pm www.familyrelationships.gov.au
• Other parents
• Family counsellor
• Conflict and negotiation, Children, Youth and Women’s Health Service, Department for Community Development, South Australian Government.
• Relationships with parents, Children, Youth and Women’s Health Service, Department for Community Development, South Australian Government.

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The following services provide specialised healthcare for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people in Victoria.

Information about medication abortion (also known as medical abortion or the 'abortion pill') - includes how medication works, appointments, what to expect, side effects, possible risks, self-care.

Services include parent education to maternal and child healthcare, child care, crisis support, child protection, family violence and relationship services

Adoption can give a secure family life to children who can?t live with their birth family.

Alcohol is responsible for most drug-related deaths in the teenage population.

From other websites

• Child Support Agency.
• Raising Children Network.

Content disclaimer

Content on this website is provided for information purposes only. Information about a therapy, service, product or treatment does not in any way endorse or support such therapy, service, product or treatment and is not intended to replace advice from your doctor or other registered health professional. The information and materials contained on this website are not intended to constitute a comprehensive guide concerning all aspects of the therapy, product or treatment described on the website. All users are urged to always seek advice from a registered health care professional for diagnosis and answers to their medical questions and to ascertain whether the particular therapy, service, product or treatment described on the website is suitable in their circumstances. The State of Victoria and the Department of Health shall not bear any liability for reliance by any user on the materials contained on this website.

7 Most Common Family Problems And How to Solve Them

Family is life, they are everything we need when we’re in trouble or we just need support. Family is the one that has our back and the one we count on as we celebrate our success or mourn our losses.

Family laughs with us, cries with us, but is always ready to support us whenever we need it. This doesn’t mean that families don’t have problems.

Each family is unique and each family has its problems and issues. But some most common family problems plague each family alike. In this blog, I’ll explain the common problems of a family and what you can do to resolve them.

Let’s begin, shall we?

7 Most Common Family Problems And Solutions

1. distance.

Distance, whether of work or emotionally, can take a heavy toll on a family and put a strain on the family relationship. If you have kids, then distance – often for an extended period – can be challenging to bear through.

If you travel and cannot change the distance, then you can take steps such as nightly video chats, playing online games, or watch movies online together to help curb the distance.

Issues can also arise if you’re not keeping enough distance, too. Spending too much time with the family can also become a problem. Every relationship, even a happy and successful family , needs space, even if you’re a stay-at-home parent.

Solution: Get some space for yourself. Engage in a productive hobby or do something you love. Too much distance and/or not enough distance can put a strain on a family relationship.

2. Parenting Disagreements

Every parent has a different view when it comes to raising their child. For many, how they raise their children can come from their own childhood experiences and upbringing. If you and your partner disagree on parenting styles then it’s a good time to talk it out. Discuss the pros and cons and understand their views on your parenting style .

Solution: If you and your partner are having disagreements on each other’s parenting styles then you need to learn to compromise. It is better to raise your children keeping in mind both parents’ values.

3. Communication

Most disagreements, fights, and arguments are caused by poor communication or lack of communication. Adults and children all need space to explain their problems in all fairness. Making assumptions, even in the case of a family, is not the right thing to do.

A common problem with a blended family can be a lack of communication. Having a step-parent, step-sibling can be disconcerting at first, and openly communicating might be a problem in the beginning.

Solution: Many teenage children refuse or hesitate to express their emotions fearing ridicule or shame. Explain to the family that each of them is welcome to express their honest views. Encourage them to communicate openly and fairly. Even parents and grandparents are entitled to their views.

4. Arguments And Conflicts

As I mentioned in the previous point, disagreements, conflicts, and fights are a part of a family dynamic. We all are entitled to our opinion however, arguments and conflicts can damage relationships within a family if not resolved in time. Emotions should not get the better of you during arguments. We may say something hurtful even without meaning to.

Arguments are not a bad thing at all. They are normal but if they get out of hand then they could be a problem.

Solution: Instead of focusing on the words, focus on the why of the other person’s actions and behavior. If the disagreement is turning into a fight, call a time-out and come back to the point when you and the others have had time to cool down.

5. Money Problems

One of the biggest stressors in any relationship can be finances. Financial stress can raise tension and create dissonance in a family relationship. Arguments about money and money management are common family problems that need to be addressed.

Solution: However, there are many ways to deal with financial stress including creating a monthly budget. Cutting back on unnecessary expenses – on either side – can also help. Financial troubles test a relationship in ways not many things do. If you and your partner are open to solve the issues together, you can get through tough times together.

6. Rebellious Children

A common problem between parents and children comes when children become rebellious and refuse to listen to their parents.

From raising toddlers to teens, times can certainly be challenging. Rebellious children can test your patience and will push all your buttons. In such situations, remember that while you may not be able to control your children’s actions, you can control how to teach them the consequences of their actions.

Solution: Set a positive example of how you react to your emotions. If you are dealing with an angry teenager , then you can try listening to their grievances and discuss with them, offering them advice only if they ask you for it. One of the best ways your child can learn is by making mistakes.

Let them. As a team, you and your partner can offer them support and help when you see them flounder.

7. Work-Life Balance

Another common family problem can be not having a healthy work-life balance . With both sets of parents working more and more, it can create a certain problem when it comes to balancing work and life. The need to provide for the family and the want to spend time with them can cause an unhealthy work-life routine.

Solution: One of the best solutions to this common family problem is to leave work at work and focusing on family when off work. Make time for family when it comes to family time. If possible, delegate tasks at work so that you are not too overworked.

It is also important to remember to spend time on yourself as well. Also, with a better work-life balance , you’ll be able to focus better on work and family, at their respective times.

Tips To Solve Common Family Problems  

Some additional tips to help you solve day-to-day common family problems are; 

1. Try to spend time with family members. It’s OK when each family member has different activities and interests that can make it hard for others to find time to spend with one another, but try to schedule events and activities to try with each other.

2. It’s important to have open (and honest) communication between family members so that there is no misunderstanding. Encourage each other to share their thoughts and feelings and make sure that no one feels rejected or judged for expressing their feelings.

3. Each member of the family needs to feel represented, heard and validated. In a family, each member needs to have equal power in decision-making. Once a member realizes that they are losing their representation or is not feeling safe to express their concern, then it could create conflicts.

4. In every relationship (yes, family relationships too), there could be unresolved feelings between each other. Sort of a leftover from the last argument, conflict, or disagreement. These unresolved feelings can also hinder further growth within the family. Here, you need to make sure that all past disagreements are resolved with no hard feelings left between the members.

5. The biggest mistake we do is not giving each other space in the family. And I’m not talking about privacy for once. It’s good to be together, but it’s also good to spend some time apart from each other. When you’re constantly in the presence of each other, it increases the risk of lashing out unnecessarily. All the pent-up negative feelings might be taken out on each other if there’s no space granted. 

How Family Therapy Can Help?

Many studies over the years have explored the importance of counseling and therapy when it comes to improving family relationships . Family and couples counseling help in understanding each other, resolve conflicts easily and come up with effective solutions.

With more and more therapy platforms going online, you can find the perfect family therapist for you and your family from the comfort of your own home. Even when dealing with separated and divorced parents, online therapy can be helpful.

Book Your First Therapy Session

Final Thoughts…

All families go through turbulent times and the above common family problems can plague all families – divorced, separated, or blended families. But this doesn’t mean that there is no solution to help resolve family problems. 

Understanding what causes the problems to arise in the first place, the different kinds of family problems, and how you can control them before they get out of control can help you prevent family conflicts and disagreements in the future. 

I hope with the above-mentioned common family problems and solutions, you can improve your family relationships and learn how to prevent these common family problems from turning destructive and ruining family relationships from within. 

For more, you can write to us at [email protected] or DM us on social media. You can also comment with your thoughts and any tips you have when it comes to resolving family problems below. 

Remember to always be kind to each other.

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About The Author

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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All families deal with relationship difficulties, small or large, at various times throughout the family experience. Family problems come in all shapes and sizes, impacting family dynamics and shaping family relationships. The ways that family members cope with and solve issues provide a framework for family dynamics and set the tone for family life. 

How to Solve Family Problems

• Create an Environment of Sharing
• Acknowledge the Problem
• Get to the Deeper Issue
• Focus on the Relationship – Let Go of Anger and Pride
• Get Professional Help

Remember to Take Care of Yourself

Creating a family culture of openness and security, and taking the steps to resolve family issues, can improve relationships and maintain positive family dynamics. 

Common Family Problems

Families face a variety of problems, both large and small. Family conflict and relationship problems can include arguments, miscommunication, and misunderstanding. They also can involve deeper issues such as substance abuse, financial instability, mental illness, grief, health problems, and divorce. Sometimes, these issues exist between only two family members, and other times they spread throughout the entire family, creating extended family issues . Some issues, like grief after the loss of a loved one, appear plainly on the surface, while others can be more subtle. Perhaps your child refuses to communicate with you, or your wife doesn’t seem to be a happily married woman .

Family issues often have underlying causes which are not always apparent.. And yet the impact of these root causes can spread throughout the family, creates conflict or emotional strain in several family relationships. Such conflict is especially impactful on a child’s life, creating emotional difficulties that are often carried from their childhood and adolescence into their adult lives and future family relationships.

Create an Environment of Sharing 

Families are built on relationships, and relationships are strengthened through healthy communication. An environment of sharing creates the foundation for healthy communication. Family members need to feel safe to share their feelings and discuss their issues and emotions. As a family oriented parent , that means allowing your child to share their point of view without fear of judgment or punishment. Sometimes, a child just needs to feel certain that what they say will be taken seriously. A child who feels safe can talk about difficult or emotional subjects, such as mental health, self-identity, anxiety, or substance abuse. Children who feel safe and respected are much more likely to open up to a parent when struggling with a situation or trying to make a difficult decision. This is also true for other family relationships—not just between parent and child, but between siblings and within the marriage.

Ways to achieve an environment of sharing include:

• Listen. Really listen to the other person before providing advice or counsel. Sometimes, it is better to first ask if advice is welcome. If the answer is no, let it go and follow up later.
• Be willing to share your own feelings. Sometimes things seem obvious to us, but they may not be obvious to your child, spouse, or sibling. Sharing your own feelings without placing blame can bring up new points of view.
• Speak for yourself and avoid blame. When sharing your perspective, present it as just that - your perspective and not the facts. 
• Recognize others’ experiences as valid. Telling others how they feel or should feel creates barriers and discourages sharing.
• Be human. Admitting you are wrong, or that you made a mistake, can help others feel more comfortable to admit their own mistakes.
• Model the behavior you want to see. We are all influenced by the people who surround us. Modeling healthy ways to express thoughts and emotions encourages others to do the same.
• Do things together. Families that spend time together engaged in positive activities achieve a sense of closeness that encourages open communication and sharing. Explore shared interests, sports, or service ideas for families . Activities that involve serving others and getting outside are especially fulfilling and often instigate future conversations and closer relationships.

Sharing openly among family members sets the stage for solving family problems and preventing future issues from arising.

Acknowledge the Family Problem 

Sometimes family problems stem from  something simple like a lack of closeness. Other times the problems involve something much more serious, like abuse. Acknowledging that a problem exists is the first step in doing something to fix the situation. Ignoring issues and pretending everything is fine are common unhealthy coping mechanisms for family members experiencing relationship conflict or emotionally difficult situations. 

Lack of acknowledgment can exacerbate issues, fuel negative situations, and culminate in negative or damaging behavior, such as lashing out in anger, aggressive argument, substance abuse, or family violence. Acknowledging a problem as early as possible allows positive action to be taken toward fixing the situation, and may prevent unhealthy coping mechanisms that lead to negative situations.

Sometimes we avoid discussing problems because our past efforts to do so only seemed to make things worse. As a result, we believe that avoiding is better than continuing to fight. In truth, avoiding instead of fighting just leads to other side effects in families. Feeling stuck is often a sign that involving a third party is needed, such as a good marriage and family therapist.

Get to the Deeper Family Issue

After acknowledging that a problem exists, steps can be taken to identify the source of the problem and improve the situation. Most family problems are merely symptoms on the surface of a deeper-rooted cause. Knowing the cause paves the way for greater empathy among family members and illuminates situations that require change. Here are some examples of family problems and their deeper issues:

Conflict between siblings – The majority of families will experience some sibling conflict between children at various times. But if that conflict extends beyond the occasional bickering to consistent emotional arguing or angry or hurtful behavior, then a deeper issue is likely the cause. That deeper issue could involve jealousy or feelings of inadequacy, where one child feels overshadowed by the other. One child could be putting pressure on the other to keep a secret from their parents (such as breaking a rule or lying). The cause could also be external, affecting one child who in turn uses their sibling as a dump truck for unloading their stress, frustration, or anger. 

Alcohol abuse or other substance abuse – Family members who abuse alcohol or other substances are often using the activity as an escape mechanism. They could be escaping from a difficult emotional situation, such as grief over the loss of a loved one, financial instability, marriage conflict, or divorce. Or, they could be escaping from physical pain from illness or other health problems. Professional help from a therapist or support group can help to break down the deeper issues that lead people to substance abuse and start them on the road to recovery.

Stress and anxiety in children – These are common effects of a variety of deeper issues. Often, anxiety is triggered by an event or a difficult situation. The stress that stems from it leads to further anxiety, creating a cyclical pattern. The root of the anxiety could be a social issue at school or concern for a friend. It could relate to feeling overwhelmed in school or struggling with an undiagnosed learning disorder. Children often perceive more than they let on and could be reacting to a passing comment from a parent, such as “Our budget is tight this month.” Talking with your child and maintaining trust through open communication encourages children to reveal the source of their anxiety.

Sometimes, identifying the deeper issue and bringing it out in the open is all it takes to resolve a problem. Other times, merely identifying the root cause is just the beginning of the long road to resolution. This important and necessary step will help to develop a plan for resolving issues and encourage understanding within family relationships.

Focus on the Family Relationship – Let Go of Anger and Pride 

Anger and pride are the enemies of healthy family relationships. They feed negative emotions, hamper empathy and understanding, and thwart positive and open communication. Holding on to these feelings blocks the path to conflict resolution. Anger and pride are divisive to family relationships and damaging to individual mental health. They are fuel for the cyclical patterns of stress, anxiety, and depression. Despite knowing this, however, letting go of such emotions can be difficult – and sometimes painful. The fear of pain, vulnerability, or failure are often what keeps a person from improving their family relationships and focusing on the importance of family .

One of the best ways to move beyond that fear is to focus on the relationship. Prioritize the goal—a healthier, happier relationship—over the fear of being hurt or the fear of failure. When family problems exist, a person has usually been hurt already, which makes the fear of being hurt again even greater. But while that risk of further hurt is real, the potential for healing and resolution is also real. Focusing on that potential, and letting go of those negative emotions, opens the door to healthier communication, relationship healing, and better mental health.

Get Professional Family Help

Getting professional help is one of the best ways to handle family problems. Some situations, such as those involving abuse, dangerous behavior, or domestic violence, require immediate professional help and formal family assessment . In other situations, such as ongoing disagreements over a certain topic or lack of closeness within a marriage, brief therapy help can provide the catalyst you need to get unstuck and achieve the fulfilling relationship that you each desire.

Many people hold back from seeking professional help because of fears or misunderstandings. Here are some facts about therapy that help to debunk some of these common myths and misconceptions:

Therapy is for everyone - A common misconception about therapy is that it is reserved for people with mental illness, individuals with an emotional disorder, or people who are too weak to handle their own problems. This could not be further from the truth. As humans, we need other humans to work through issues with us. Therapy provides a safe, confidential environment to do just that. 

Professional help is available for all types of issues, whether large or small, and in a variety of formats. Family therapy, marriage counseling, support groups, and individual sessions with a therapist are just a few examples. There is also a variety of specialties, including psychology, psychiatry, religious counseling, and much more. At the end of the day, therapy is merely a safe space to work through your family problems with the support of a trained professional.

Therapy is worth your time - Another common misconception is that therapy is a waste of time or money. You could talk to anyone, so why talk to a therapist? Therapists have special expertise gained through extensive professional training. They will not only help you talk about your family issues but will help you to develop strategies for resolving difficult situations. A family therapist can also discuss various types of issues you may be dealing with, and different options for resolution or treatment, such as new scientific approaches to treating a specific issues.

Therapy is safe - One myth about therapy is that there are risks. The risk of being judged (by the therapist or by friends and family) or the risk of being medicated. On the contrary, therapy provides a safe and confidential space to explore all options for healing. Often, professional counseling is all that is needed or desired for family conflict resolution.

Professional help can provide growth and healing for a parent, child, or an entire family, improving family dynamics and emotional health. It can provide mediation and conflict resolution within a marriage, between siblings, or any type of family relationship. Think about the type of support (such as family therapy, religious counseling, or psychiatry) that feels right for your family and seek it out.

It is true that the quality of the professional you work with can make a big difference in the outcome of your therapy. For this reason, it’s often best to seek a referral from a trusted friend or family member. If that feels uncomfortable, consider asking for a referral from your family doctor. If you’ve had a negative experience in the past, consider giving it another try, this time with a trusted referral.

Taking care of yourself and maintaining your mental health is essential when attempting to solve family issues. Maintaining positive, healthy family dynamics starts with a healthy self. Being in a healthy mental space allows you to let go of negative emotions. This, in turn, paves the way for safe and open communication between family members and helps the entire family focus on relationships. 

Not only does this place you in the right frame of mind to address family conflict, but it models a healthy example for your children to do the same. It is integral to maintaining a strong family structure that provides a sense of stability and security for children. For a parent, maintaining your mental health can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to maintain the necessary qualities of a good father and mother, such as understanding and empathy.

Taking care of yourself is often easier said than done, especially while feelings of stress, anxiety, or emotional dissatisfaction prevail. Finding a healthy outlet to decompress and let go of stress and other negative emotions can help to maintain a healthy state of mind. Choose a regular time in your schedule just for maintaining you. This could include a daily exercise routine, a therapeutic hobby (such as gardening or journaling), or a weekly therapy session. Taking care of yourself leaves you open to model healthy behavior for your children and to focus on family relationships.

Impact of Family Problems

When not addressed, family problems can have serious impacts on individual family members. Issues such as increased levels of stress and anxiety, emotional difficulties and disorders (such as depression), substance abuse, and addiction, are all likely to surface. Sometimes, these impacts carry on throughout a child’s life. Family problems can especially impact children, who are often capable of perceiving much more than one might think. Children may also perceive a problem, but not be able to fully understand it. Such misunderstandings can lead to greater issues, further affecting family dynamics and individual emotions. Where family issues exist, acknowledge the problem, and take the steps to resolution.

Solving Family Problems

Families experience a wide range of issues, some small and some large. These issues typically involve strain or conflict within family relationships. They can have lasting impacts on individual family members, especially children. Taking steps to address family issues, and seeking resolution among family relationships can ease emotions, promote mental health, and maintain a positive family culture. A family culture quiz by Kinmundo is an easy way for families to evaluate and improve the culture within their family.  

A positive family culture requires a structure built on family values that maintains a safe environment for sharing. Open communication in an environment safe from fears of judgment provides a model of stability and security for family members to acknowledge and address important issues with understanding and empathy. Creating such a culture is paramount to solving family issues when they arise.

A family that feels open and safe to share emotions, acknowledge issues, and seek help when needed can maintain positive relationships and mental health. When family members are prepared to resolve family conflict, they can reduce the lasting impacts of difficult situations and fix relationships that may seem broken.

5 Ways to Become a More Family Oriented…

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4 Signs of Family Problems & How to Resolve Them

In This Article

It is normal to experience problems and issues in personal relationships.

All families go through conflicts and difficult times. Family problems can be overwhelming and stressful for a person. In such cases, you need advice on family problems.

Here, we have discussed the causes and tried to figure out what helps in resolving family problems and conflicts.  

Before we delve into how to deal with family problems, let’s take an overview of signs of family troubles.

Signs of family problems

Here is the first family problem advice.

The first thing that you should look at while figuring out if anything is wrong between the family members is to ask yourself, what are some family issues that are disturbing your family dynamics? 

Here are some common family difficulties. If any of these family relationship problems resonate with your situation, it’s time to seek family advice.

1. Frequent arguing

Family members are arguing with each other on a frequent basis. There are very few things you can reach a consensus on. This is one of the signs that there is an underlying problem.

2. Disagreements

It seems as if you disagree with everything , and there is not a single thing that you could agree upon and work on together.

3. Breakdown In communication

You don’t communicate much with your family members.

If there are issues going on in your life, because of them or otherwise, instead of talking about it, you tend to stay away from them.

A few other signs of underlying conflicts include angry outbursts , physical conflict, etc.

Reasons for family problems

The next piece of advice on family problems is to figure out the causes of those issues.

The following are some of the reasons which form the basis of problems among family members.

• Your opinions are different
• Your personalities don’t match up
• You share different beliefs
• Your stance on moral values and ethics differ
• You have goals that are separate from one another
• Financial problems can also cause issues amongst members of the family.
• If you have been newly divorced / separated, that can also be a cause of family issues.

If you or your family member is undergoing some stress-related issues because of work or anything else, that can also be a trigger for problems and conflicts.

A few other causes might be as follows:

• Gambling issues
• Mental health problems
• Natural calamities
• Lack of Trust

Consequences of family problems

Family members are very important to a person.

Each member of the family plays a key role in any individual’s life. Their importance is unprecedented. 

So having issues with them can be very hard on a person. They can lead to the accumulation of negative emotions such as anger and sadness and can make you anxious.

Family problems can be very stressful. You tend to be confused and exhausted as a result of it.

You start feeling isolated and become withdrawn. It is very hard to concentrate and focus. You face difficulties in everyday functioning, eating, and sleeping.

One may start using alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism. However, the impact of substance abuse on a family is devastating and sometimes beyond repair.

If there are children in the family, they end up paying a heavy cost of growing up in a dysfunctional family

Reconciling family conflicts

Families can be difficult; most of us have been there. So, how do you solve family problems?

Developing healthy problem-solving is the key to repairing damaged family relationships.

The first step in finding solutions to family problems is communicating.

To solve family problems, discuss your problems with your loved ones calmly and honestly.

You should accept the fact that opinions differ, and you may not always agree on the same things. Accepting the differences goes a long way in solving the conflicts .

Even when you are having issues, try to make time for your loved ones.

Another advice on family problems is to have fun together.

Having fun together helps in resolving the conflicts between family members.

You should plan things properly. If you are having financial issues, making a budget will definitely help in resolving your issues. I

If you are unable to solve things on your own, don’t hesitate to ask for external help.

Where to go for help

Problems in the family? Where to go to help?

If you need the best advice on family problems, you can talk to your friends and other family members.

You can also get relationship counseling from an LMFT-Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist or ask for mediation from someone who can equip you with the right advice and tools on how to fix family problems while also helping you identify the root cause of problems with family.

A trained, verified professional is credible, experienced, and well equipped to understand common family problems and solutions and can dispense useful advice on family issues from an unbiased lens. 

Suppose you need help with family problems but feel reluctant to approach a third-party mediation. In that case, you can also check out helpful information online on common family problems and seek good advice for family problems.

That way, you won’t feel like you are exposing your family-related issues to anyone while also getting the right help with family issues. 

You can attend courses and workshops on communication, budgeting, etc. If you are concerned about health issues of yourself or other members, you should consult your general physician.

Also, watch this video:

Final take away

All of us have faced difficulties and issues at times.

Facing these problems within the family can be very difficult.

However, there are methods and ways by which you can solve family conflicts. Everyone needs advice on family problems as they can manifest at any point in life, even in the happiest of family units.

Talk to your loved ones, or seek professional help and sort out your issues.

Embrace the differences in each of the family member’s mindset, lifestyle, and be open to overcoming difficult times together as a family , solidly, and successfully.

Strive to bind your family with love and solidarity for a healthy future.

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Are Your Relatives Toxic? How to Deal With Family Problems

• December 11, 2020

Learning how to deal family problems doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth the effort. Why? Because your health and happiness is at stake! And so is the health and happiness of your family.

You can’t change your family, but you can change how you deal with them. These tips on how to cope with toxic family problems and relationships are inspired by a reader who doesn’t want to talk to her mom anymore.

On my article about  dealing with difficult parents , a reader said she decided to completely cut ties with her mom. Her mother constantly criticized her and her boyfriend, tried to manipulate them into lending money, and called and texted at all hours of the night. My reader doesn’t know what to do anymore, she’s tired of it, and she doesn’t know how to handle family problems. It’s been going on for four years, and she wants to cut her mother out of her life. Below are my suggestions for her, which may help you deal with your own relatives.

Some family problems can’t be solved, and you can’t change any one of your family members. The only thing you can do to solve family problems is to change your response to your relatives. This is the best tip because it gives you some power. You’ll never have enough power to change your toxic relatives, but you can find the strength you need to respond to them differently.

6 Ways to Deal With Family Problems

The best tip on how to handle family problems is to try different things until you find what works for you and your family.

If you’re struggling with potential in-laws, read  How to Stop Your Boyfriend’s Mother From Ruining Your Relationship .

1. Get in-person or online counseling support

I’m not a certified counselor or life coach, and I can’t offer online counseling here. But, there are hundreds of online counselors and psychologists who can help you solve your relationship and family problems – and I suspect there are many counselors, life coaches, and psychologists in your area. You don’t need to commit to years of therapy; sometimes all you need is a session or two to give you the guidance and support you need.

2. Find a support group

I’ve recently joined a “support group” (it’s more of a book club) of women who need to set and stick to healthy boundaries. Talking with people who have similar problems and experiences is a great way to find solutions! My support group is studying the Boundaries  book, and we discuss both the book and our personal life experiences. A support group can help you solve problems and make you feel less alone.

If alcohol, drug, or other addictions are complicating your family problems, contact a group such as Al-Anon. Find people who are going through something similar.

If one of your family members is struggling with alcoholism, you may find 6 Ways to Help an Alcoholic Brother or Sister helpful.

3. Look for books that address your relationship or family problem

I’m a huge fan of reading books that directly relate to what I’m going through! My husband and I are dealing with infertility, and so we both read books on living a childless life. My mom is mentally ill, so I’ve read a ton of literature on how schizophrenia affects family life – and I even got a degree in Psychology! If you need to solve toxic family relationships and learn how to handle family problems , sometimes it’s most helpful to go the library and look for the right books.

4. Remove yourself from the situation – find ways to get unstuck

I often get comments and questions about bad breakups, unhealthy relationships, toxic parents, family problems, and other situations that I can’t provide adequate advice for.

“How to Solve Family Problems” image via Elaine Mao, Wikimedia, CC License

So many people say they’re “stuck”, they can’t get out, and they don’t know what to do. One possibility is to remove themselves from the situation – as difficult as it may be! That may mean letting go of someone you love because it’s a bad relationship. Or, it could mean changing the expectations you have of your loved ones. Sometimes the only solution for relationship and family problems is to take a step back and give yourself time to breathe and think. In the meantime, get in-person or online counseling help!

5. Talk to a life coach about how to handle family problems

You don’t necessarily have to see a therapist or counsellor when you’re learning how to deal with toxic relatives. Sometimes a life coach can offer more practical and “actionable” tips for handling family problems.

If you’re dealing with marriage problems, consider talking to a marriage coach. I’ve heard nothing but good about marriage coach Mert Fertel, who helps couples rebuild unhappy relationships. If online marriage counseling doesn’t work for you, then talk to a life coach, your pastor, or even a wise trusted mentor. To solve your problems and achieve your goals, you need to find the right people who can help you!

6. Get as emotionally and physically healthy as possible

You can’t change your partners, friends, or family members. It’s futile to wish they were different or try to change them into different people. But, you can change your expectations, your responses, your attitudes, and your thoughts. And that’s where books like Boundaries are so important in when you’re learning how to handle family problems. Get your mind, heart, body, and souls as physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy as possible – without worrying about trying to solve all your relationship and family problems.

I welcome your thoughts below. I can’t give advice on how to solve family problems, but sometimes it helps just to write about how you feel. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you gain more insight into your relatives.

Need encouragement? Stay in touch! Get my free weekly email

6 thoughts on “are your relatives toxic how to deal with family problems”.

If you can’t solve your family problems on your own (and most of us can’t!), then you need to talk to somebody in person. Find someone wise and trustworthy, and share what you’re going through.

It’s scary and sometimes embarrassing and even shameful to open up about family problems, but honestly it’s the only way to solve them. You need to talk through your problems before you can fix them.

Can you do this?

I’ve had family problems my whole life and I do not know why.Its like I’m in a living hell. my late mother also complained. I do not know what to do.

Hi there, my name is nicole i am 24 and married with 3 children, i am seeking some kind of support or help, me and my husband have lost eachother so bad. he was such a wonderful husband always made me laugh and the best dad you could ever ask for. But he doesnt laugh with me anymore all he ever laughs with are the ppl he works with and as soon as he comes back home from a week away he doesnt seem happy with me or his kids. i try to talk to him about it but he just just gets upset because he’s taking it the wrong way . yes i do get mad but thats only because i could talk to him about his kids and my feelings to him always leaving and he shuts us out with either the tv or he just says OK! IM SORRY! just to shut me up. yes i do feel like he is probaly feeling bombarded by all my concerns and worries with him . please help what do i do how to i make myself better for him and me to be happy

Im so confused im in love but restricte/bordered with religious belief&emotional and health like-wise conciousness. Pls help

Iam and adult child living back home with my child. I left and abusive marrage. Now I am living with my parents I love them dearly but the way they raise thier children is differt. My mother is always butting in when my daughter and I aruge then my daugher is now getting her way. It is very upsetting that no is backing me up. I don’t know what to do anymore.

For the Women. Who do you let check the oil and water in your car for you and why? Secondly How often do they check it for you? Thirdly when is the last time they checked it for you?

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Confine All Family Problems With Simple Family Problem Solutions

No family in the world is perfect. You might visit a friend or colleague and love their hospitality. Once you’re home, you think to yourself, “I wish I had a family like theirs.”

It is human nature to believe everything is better on the other side. We often see other families and think about how the other person has such a perfect family. There is always a half-truth in our thoughts.

What may seem perfect to us might not be perfect to others. Every family has its own problems. Family issues are very common in today’s time when everyone wants independence and freedom of speech.

Family problems can manifest even in the happiest families. It can result in a challenging and frustrating home environment. The interactions between family members can turn tense.

While I was young, people used to look at our family and think we were a very happy and complete family. Guests who would come to our place would often say, “You are such a sweet and perfect family.” 

Little did they know the struggle we had to go through each day. My mother started staying unwell when I was quite young. She would behave weirdly at times. All of a sudden, she would get aggressive, abusive, or sad. We thought it was her nature. I was in class sixth when I started teaching tuitions to run our house.

When I had to give my tenth board, she would not let me study and call me, again and again. I had to gather a lot of determination to be able to complete my study. However, around that time, her condition started deteriorating, and she would often talk about committing suicide. It was 1982, and we could not really understand her condition.

When finally we took her to a hospital, it was detected that she was suffering from severe depression. The doctors said it was too late for them to start the treatment, but they decided to give her electric shocks. No matter how late we were, we saved her life. Her medications were managed by me and soon she recovered. Our awareness and dedication could save her life.

I was just ten when I had to take the charge of the complete family. I was earning, studying, doing household chores, and managing everything single-handedly. To other people, our family seemed normal, but it is only us who know how we zoned out of that critical time. 

What I am trying to say is, no matter how much we believe that it is only our family that has problems, every family has it’s own struggles. No family is perfect, and you don’t need to create havoc of family problems. 

Family Issues and its Consequences

Family issues can be manifested even in the healthiest of families. As soon as a family issue arises, the situation becomes tense, and the communication becomes rigid. 

Family issues can be challenging, frustrating, and painful for the family problems. The little irritations of today can lead to bigger problems tomorrow. Family issues can start with buried resentments to dramatic arguments. 

Family is the purest bond in the world. Everyone expects someone to be emotionally supportive to them. When we come home, we all seek harmony and peace. However, with family problems, people end up coming to heated arguments, feelings of guilt, disappointment, and anger. 

Many times when a problem arises, the counter-effects overshadow the root cause of the problem. The issues that are brought up during these times were not even known that existed. The consequences of family issues are devastating. A person experiences the most intense emotions during such situations.

What are the most common causes of family problems?

Family is the support system of everyone. We all rely on our family for emotional, financial, mental, and social support. Family provides strength and unbiased feedback to us. We feel love and concern for our family members, and it is why we somehow break emotionally when something wrong happens to them.

However, it has been developed that only a few families can meet this expectation all the time. As I had discussed earlier, a family that might seem ideal from away might not be ideal in reality. They might have their own amount of stress, misunderstandings, disconnections, and disloyalty.

According to my experience, these are some common causes of family problems.

• Financial Reasons

One of the most common causes of family problems is financial reasons. In India, it is seen that most disputes arise over wealth and finances. It is commonly seen that siblings fight with one another over the inheritance of their parent’s finances. Being a lawyer and a family coach, I meet many clients coming with such issues.

Another financial problem that leads to family problems is the lack of money. A person is expected to earn and support the family finances. From utility bills, grocery bills, to rent, every basic family necessity needs finances. When a family lacks money and is unable to support the family efficiently, it leads to family conflicts. 

• Staying Away from Family

One of the most neglected reasons for the rise in family problems is the moving away of children from their families. Children move to different cities or countries at a very young age for study or job purposes. When a person stays away from home for a long time, they learn to live an independent life. I have seen many children who find it very hard to adjust to their families upon returning from a different country. 

They feel they are not given enough space or listened to. When they are alone, they have the liberty to manage things in their own way. However, in a family, you need to behave and work according to the family environment and it leads to bigger conflicts. Even after marriage, many couples find it hard to adjust in the families because of the carefree and independent life they were living before.

• Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is by far the most complained and common cause of family issues. Many people who come for counseling for family problem solutions have problems with their siblings. In fact, sometimes even a minor issue can turn into a big problem in the future. Parents do not realize, but sibling rivalry often starts when parents start comparing their kids. 

Parents build competition between their children, and they never form a loving bond. They see the other sibling as a competitor and not a family. Be it for grades, studies, jobs, relationships, or friends, the competition gets life-long. If you wish to prevent any conflicts in the future, you have to be very careful while raising siblings.

Also, some sibling rivalries are not because of comparative parenting. In India, sibling rivalries for property and inherited wealth are one of the most common family problems. Families spend years and years over a disputed family but do not solve their family problems.

• In-Laws and Extra Interference

Many times families do not encounter any family problem unless one of their sons gets married. A family might be happy and content throughout, but when it comes to in-laws and extended families, conflicts start to arise. When a girl becomes a part of a family post her wedding, the family and girl both need to adjust and adapt to the newer environment.

However, if either of them is stubborn or too rigid to change and adjust, problems are bound to arise. The family needs to make changes to welcome a new family member and help her feel comfortable. On the other hand, the girl should also learn to respect the family values and take the new family as her own. 

The constant interference of in-laws or other family members is never liked by anyone. It can lead to negativity in hearts and distance in bonds. 

• Single Parent Family Problems

Single-parent families have seen a rise over the past few years. One of the most common reasons for the increase in single parents is the lack of commitment and more independence among people. Today, children are young and dynamic. They are confident enough to take their own life decisions. If they feel unhappy with a relationship, they do not think of compromising at any step.

Today, both men and women are financially independent, and so if they have to make crucial decisions such as a divorce, they think more practically than emotionally. Being a single parent myself, I know the struggles and hardships a single parent has to go through.

In fact, many times families do not support their child’s decision to remain a single parent. It creates even more problems for them, and their struggles increase even more.

• Stress in Marriage Life

Marriage is a pious bond between two individuals. When two people are tied in the bond of marriage, they dream of a happy and exciting life ahead. Things might not go as smoothly as you expect. Problems in marriages are extremely common. You might not experience them initially, but with passing time, you’ll start seeing differences and the true side of your partner.

Sometimes marriages turn toxic with time. My husband and I had a great and happy married life initially. Everyone in my in-laws loved me and respected me. However, my husband started indulging himself in extra-marital affairs. My relationship kept going toxic. We had severe problems at our family end, while we pretended to be a happy family to others. In this way, marriages become weak and boring with a time that leads to many family problems.

• Child Issues

One reason that I think often leads to family problems is the decision of giving birth to a child. Today, science has made a lot of progress, however, the inability to conceive still remains a hot topic of family problems.

Many families face problems in child-birth, and sooner or later, it starts soaring relationships. Couples have to go through a hard time emotionally, and somehow it starts bringing differences in families. 

Another reason for family issues is the decision to not have a baby by one of the partners. Sometimes, the husband or wife is not ready to become parents, and it starts causing trouble in their relationship. The decision of not having or the inability to have a baby creates significant family problems.

• Parent-Child relationship 

A generation gap has always been a cause of concern in family relations. Many times kids do not respect or follow their family-values or want to modernize things at their homes.

However, orthodox families ate too rigid to adapt to the new cultures and changes. Their stubborn nature often causes problems in their relationships. Many parents who come to me for counseling often complain that their children do not obey them or follow their guidelines.

The communication gap between a parent and child creates family problems in almost every household.

7 Most Common Family Issues

Each family has issues, and the sooner we understand that there is no ‘amazing cheerful closure’ of any story, the better we will be at dealing with the circumstance. Each individual has imperfections thus does each family. However, the issues you may be confronting are extremely regular regardless of whether you think you have the most exceedingly terrible situation of all.

Some common family problems faced by people are:

• Constant Arguments: Many families have an environment where argumentation is very common. An argument between two individuals spoils the environment for everyone in the family. Even in married couples, arguments are one of the most common family issues.
• Parental Restrictions: Most family fights are about kids and their raising. It begins with the decision of having kids or not and ends up in almost all aspects of life. From schools, courses, colleges, names, and lots of other things about the child. 
• Work-Life and Home Balance: Another common family issue remains between the decision of giving priority to your career or family. No matter what you prioritize, make sure you create a balance and manage your time to serve both places.
• Improper Communication: Many families hardly communicate with one another. It is because of the busy lifestyle that today people hardly take out family-time. It often leads to miscommunications and family issues. Open communication is the key to a happy family.
• Stressful Member: There’s no doubt that most of the time, it isn’t the entire family, but a certain family member that stresses you out. It can be your wife, child, or extended family. If you have a personal clash, it will always raise issues in the family. If the other person isn’t ready to change, then you should change and move ahead in life.
• Home Duties: Today, both men and women are equal. Not only outside the home but also inside. However, many people expect the lady of the house to do all the household chores. It leads to a lot of chaos and problems in the family. The distribution of chores should be equal for husband and wife.
• Divorce: Divorce is not a family problem but a family destruction. It is one of the ugliest family issues. Not only the couple but the entire family has to go through a stressful phase. Even if you’ve decided to take a divorce, it is better to move ahead with things peacefully. 

Effortless Family Problem Solutions

On the off chance that you are experiencing family issues that you can’t move away through, then you are not alone. Everybody endures problems when living in a family. Marrying the person you love and beginning a family isn’t a fantasy. A few issues run over the excursion, yet there are likewise a lot of approaches to deal with those issues. 

One crucial way of solving almost all kinds of family problems is the adjustment. When we live in a family, each person is different from one other. Your opinion might not match the other person. But, this doesn’t make any one of your opinions better. Living in a family is all about adjustment. From sharing rooms, personal space, kitchen to sharing beds, a family is all about love.

When you learn about other family members, their nature, and attitude, it gets easier for you to live with them. However, if you remain rigid and are not ready to change a bit, then living in a family gets arduous. Parents often ignore many mistakes of their kids because they are family, and they need to adapt and adjust to each other. In the same way, if you wish to end all your family problems, then start adjusting to the people around you.

• Share feelings with each other

Lack of communication slowly destroys relationships. Families are strengthened by communication. You should create a family environment where all of you share your feelings, thoughts, and fears openly. It will create a harmonious family environment. If you are a parent and your child is too afraid to share his feelings with you, then it is a critical family problem. Being parents, you should always show support to your children so that they share their worries and mistakes with you.

• Respect All The Members of Family

I often see that parents never show respect to their children. Elders always expect that they should be regarded and respected by the younger people of the family. However, when it comes to respecting the younger family members, people do not take them seriously. No matter how you are related, when living in a family, it is essential that all family members feel equally respected and valued. It will not only solve the ongoing family problems but will also prevent any future problems.

• Family Counselling

Family counselling is the best and most effective way of dealing with all sorts of family problems. A family coach will not only listen to your problems but will also guide you about the solutions. Being a life coach myself, I have helped many families get-over their lifelong problems. 

A family counselor will end your problems from the root. I use innovative and quantitative methods to help revive family problems. You may even opt for marriage counseling or parent counseling based on your needs. If you are a single parent, then family counselling can also help you deal with single parent family problems.

When you acknowledge a problem in your family, you have already taken the first step towards its solution. Many families are too afraid or feel ashamed of accepting that there’s anything wrong with their families. A family issue cannot be resolved, unless you accept that a problem exists.

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