Bertha Alvarez Manninen

Bullying: A Personal Story

The psychological consequences of bullying..

Posted May 11, 2012

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I recently went to see the new documentary Bully and came out feeling that the movie needs to be seen by as many people as possible – particularly preteens, teens, parents (even of very young children), teachers, and school administrators. In this entry, I will discuss the aspects of the movie that most concerned me, both as a parent and as a human being; one who was horribly bullied throughout almost all of her school years, even, sometimes, by otherwise well-meaning friends. Throughout the course of this entry, I will reveal rather personal things – mostly to help reach out to others who went through similar experiences, but also as a method of exorcising my own demons.

Three of the stories central to the film deal with what would seem to be extreme reactions to bullying . Tyler Long committed suicide after years of persistent bullying. We aren’t talking about a shove or being tripped in the hallway – his peers literally called him worthless and told him to hang himself. So one day, at the tender age of 17, Tyler heeded their advice and hung himself in his bedroom closet. 11-year-old Ty Smalley also committed suicide because he was being consistently tortured in school. We also see 14-year-old Ja’Meya Jackson who is awaiting a hearing after she brandished a gun on her school bus against a group of kids who were also relentlessly bullying her (the charges were subsequently dropped, but the judge orders her hospitalized for a period of time). Ja’Meya was not a troublemaker; in the movie, her mother proudly displays her various sports trophies and medals, and describes her as a good student. But one day she snapped, and her reaction could have had severe consequences for the many children involved. All these cases hit close to home. I was each of these kids. While the outcome was very different in my case, it doesn’t erase the fact that, when I was 17, I both tried to commit suicide and almost severely hurt a classmate due to the constant physical, mental, and emotional abuse I endured in school (and at home).

I was always overweight, quiet, studious, and wore glasses. In 2nd grade a boy stabbed me in my thigh with a sharp pencil; I still have the little blue dot as an enduring souvenir. I was teased, pushed, threatened, beaten. In the 8th grade a girl grabbed me around my neck and banged my head against the wall while I left the classroom to go to the bathroom. In high school I was teased on a daily basis because I did not conform to traditional gender stereotypes: I had no interest in doing “girlie” things and was branded a lesbian as a consequence. I remember lying in bed one night contemplating if my peers were right – what if I were gay? I didn’t think I was, since I had always liked boys, but maybe they were seeing something I did not. The idea terrified me – had I been gay I would have been undoubtedly ostracized amongst my family. I would have most certainly been treated like another teenager in the movie, Shelby, whose family was shunned after she came out as a lesbian and who experienced cruel bullying from other students and teachers as a result. Years later, what concerns me is not the possibility that I were gay, but that I was so scared at the thought of being gay. I cannot imagine the pain that gay teenagers experience every day of their lives; adolescence is hard enough without having to worry that the very core of your being will be so derided and hated by others. The experience was painful, but it has forever opened my heart, and honed my compassion, toward homosexual youths and adults.

One day, during my senior year of high school, a boy who had been bullying me for the past two years started verbally abusing me for the umpteenth time that week. I was having a particularly bad day, and remember quietly warning him that he should walk away and leave me alone. He taunted me in response. I snapped. I took the heavy wooden chair I was sitting on and threw it at him; the chair missed him by inches and ended up in pieces against the classroom wall. I then chased him and almost choked him until a few of my friends grabbed me and held me back. All I can remember is how badly I wanted to hurt him; I didn’t want to just trip him or give him a scratch or a bruise – I wanted to hurt him badly enough that I may have caused permanent damage. I could have ended up in vast amounts of legal trouble. I had never before been as irrational, and never since. I am forever grateful to my friends for preventing me from hurting him. I am not a violent person, and never once got in any trouble my entire academic career . But every human being has her breaking point. Ja’Meya had hers; I had mine.

Sometime that year I tried, obviously unsuccessfully, to commit suicide. Years of bullying at school and physical, mental, and emotional abuse at home led me to this very dark, despairing, place. I just wanted to sleep. I wanted to have one day when I didn’t feel any pain; one day when I didn’t feel like a worthless human being. I understand what Tyler and Ty felt, the anguish that led them to take their lives. I wish their suicide attempt had mimicked my own (i.e., that they had been unsuccessful), and now, as a mother, I cannot imagine the pain their parents are suffering. Like many of these children, my parents did not know I was being bullied and neither did most of my teachers. Of the ones that did notice, they turned a blind eye. In fact, some of them participated. I remember one teacher who told me, upon learning that I had been admitted to college, that the university in question must had lowered their standards.

When a parent hits, chokes, and verbally torments a child, we (rightly) call it abuse. When a kid does it to another kid, we dismiss it as a “normal” part of childhood . Victims of bullying are often told to “man-up” or to develop a thick skin, as if it is their fault for daring to be effected by years of demeaning treatment. It is a similar phenomenon to how we talk to our girls about rape – we spend too much time telling them how not to get raped, rather than teaching our sons not to rape. Similarly, instead of teaching our children the requisite compassion and care that may lead to a decrease in bullying, we deride the victims for taking it too personally, for not standing up for themselves, or for being weak. I think this treatment can be partially attributed to a lack of knowledge about the nature of bullying in this day and age, and a lack of understanding of its deep-seated effects. The psychological and emotional repercussions do not end when school does; the scars run deep and can carry into the child’s adult life. This is far truer now than it was when I was a kid, since social networking has made it so a child has little respite from bulling. At one point in the movie, 12-year-old Alex tells his mother that his primary coping mechanism for dealing with being bullied is to rid himself of emotion altogether, and that his impulse is to become a bully himself.

What is imperative for adults to understand, parents and teachers alike, is that what is going on is not just random and sporadic teasing. Kids are dangerously threatening each other; in the film, one boy tells Alex that he’s going to cut his face off, and another tells him that he’s going to break his Adam’s apple. Shelby was so alienated in her community that students wouldn’t even sit next to her at school. And her teachers, the very people who were supposed to care for her while in school, were condemning her to hell in front of the other students due to her sexual orientation . Bullying in America has become a microcosm for the hate, prejudices, violence, and fears that permeate so much of the adult world. We hate homosexuals, Muslims, Jews, Caucasians, Blacks, and Hispanics because they represent “the Other,” the outcast, the people we want exiled from our communities. What utterly puzzles me is that whenever this behavior takes place in the “real world,” it is generally reviled (as it well should be). When it happens in schools it is dismissed. Yet children, given their age, mental development, and emotional vulnerability, are the ones most at risk for long-term psychological maladjustment as a result of such treatment. In other words, we are essentially ignoring, and in general refusing to allay, some of the most detrimental abuse possible. The fact that the perpetrators are children themselves does not ease the problem, or render it less serious. On the contrary, the fact that people so young can be capable of such cruelty reveals another side to the bullying issue not often addressed: what is the mental and emotional state of a child who beats, threatens, and emotionally tortures another? Bullying claims, at the very least, two victims: primarily, the child being bullied, but also the character of the bully himself. The philosopher Aristotle wrote in his Nicomachean Ethics that one way to cultivate character traits is to repeatedly perform actions that manifest those traits. If one wants to become an honest person, one must consistently tell the truth; if one wants to be a compassionate person, one must consistently act in a compassionate manner. The same, of course, goes for vices. Bullies, therefore, consistently act in ways that humiliate, frighten, and hurt others. The character traits that are likely to arise from repeatedly acting in this way are nothing short of concerning.

Is bullying an inevitable consequence of going to school and growing up? I suppose that some amount of teasing is to be expected. Even the adult world is full of bullies; there will always be people who are drunk on their own power and take advantage of the weaker and most vulnerable. But I do believe that a lot of bullying can be curbed – and doing so requires a joint effort on behalf of parents and school employees alike. Parents are their children’s first, and most important, moral educators. It is our job to teach them compassion, selflessness, integrity, and to instill in them the importance of helping, rather than exploiting, the vulnerable. School employees must understand that what is going on in between their walls is nothing short of child-on-child abuse; just as teachers have a moral (and in some cases legal) responsibility to report child abuse to the proper authorities, there should exist a similar responsibility here. We cannot monitor every child’s actions, but we can implement some severe consequence for the students who do get caught bullying, and we can help schools become a safe place for the victims, rather than a place of incessant dread.

My suicide attempt failed. I grew up. Went to college. Went to grad school. Got married. Had a wonderful, beautiful, child. I am a respected member of my university community. I was lucky. Tyler and Ty could have done great things. We could all do great things if we really want to. It is too late for them, but it isn’t too late for our children. We can help save victims from their bullies – and in doing so save bullies from themselves.

Bertha Alvarez Manninen

Bertha Alvarez Manninen is an assistant professor of philosophy in the Division of Humanities, Arts and Cultural Studies at Arizona State University.

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Home / Essay Samples / Social Issues / Bullying / Surviving a Bullying Experience: My Story

Surviving a Bullying Experience: My Story

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  • Topic: British History , Bullying , Personal Experience

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Personal Narrative Essay Definition

What is a Personal Narrative Essay? 

A personal narrative essay is also referred to as short storytelling. It depends on the writer's type of story they want to tell the readers. This type of essay can be composed of the personal experience of the writer. 

A personal narrative essay is usually written in the first person participle. It helps to depict a clear narrative that’s focused on a specific moment.

Usually, high school students are usually assigned to write such essays. Writing these essays helps them to enhance creative writing skills. Also, they help to provide insight into a student’s personal life. 

To write a personal narrative essay, the writer specifies a plot around which the entire essay revolves. Moreover, the plot should also discuss the characters that have played some part in the story.

Sample Personal Narrative Essay (PDF)

How to Start a Personal Narrative Essay?  

The personal narrative essay requires a balance between objectivity and subjectivity. To write about an event or situation with significance, you must first identify what's important to share with the readers.

As with other types of writing - there are some guidelines you need to follow some guidelines. These are;

1. Choose the Right Topic 

A good topic can not just make your essay look good, but also it will make the writing process much easier. Since personal narrative essays are written on personal experiences and thoughts, make sure you choose your most interesting experience. 

Keep in mind that the topic you choose matches the intended audience. It is the reader who decides the scope and success of your essay.

2. Choose a Theme 

You can also choose a theme for your essay. This will help you focus on what you want to say. You can use your personal experiences to explore the theme in depth.  For example, if you choose the theme of love, you could talk about your experience of love with your sister(s).  Alternatively, you can start writing out the story and see if any ideas might relate to a bigger theme. When you are writing, pay attention to any ideas that keep coming up. See if they might be related to a bigger topic.

3. Create a Thesis Statement 

The thesis statement is the most important sentence and tells the reader what your essay will be about.  

In a personal narrative essay, the thesis statement can briefly explore the story's events. Or it can tell the reader about the moral or lesson learned through personal experience. The thesis statement can also present the main theme of the essay. 

For example, if you are writing an essay about your personal experience as a refugee. You may have a thesis statement that presents the theme of freedom.

Check out more thesis statement examples to learn how to write one!

4. Create an Outline 

Once you have your topic, it is time that you create an outline for your essay. The essay outline is an essential element of an essay. It keeps the whole composition in an organized order. 

Also, it helps the reader through the essay. With the help of an outline, a writer can provide logic for the essay. 

Personal Narrative Essay Outline

Being a student, you must know how important an outline is for an essay. It provides an organization with the whole content.

To create an outline for a personal narrative essay, you need to follow the following traditional method.

Introduction

These three major elements of a  narrative essay  are further elaborated down below.

The introduction is the most important part of essay writing. It is the first impression on the reader; by reading this part, the reader decides the quality of the essay. This part should be the most attention-grabbing part. 

It should have an attention-grabbing hook and some background information about the topic. Moreover, it should include the thesis statement, which explains the main idea of your essay.

Keep in mind that the essay introduction should always end with a transition sentence. This will make a logical connection with the rest of the essay. 

Personal Narrative Introduction Example

Body Paragraphs 

After the introduction, the body paragraphs are written. These paragraphs help you to explain the key elements of your personal narrative essay. 

In a standard personal narrative essay, there are usually three body paragraphs. These paragraphs help the writer to describe the subject of the essay in all possible aspects. 

With the help of these paragraphs, the writer describes their point of view to the readers. To support the essay, the time and place of the event happening are also mentioned. Moreover, these paragraphs have all the information about the characters. 

Keep in mind that a body starts with a topic sentence . This sentence is a kind of introductory sentence for that particular paragraph.

Another important thing you need to keep in mind is the order in which you will present the details. Make sure that you use chronological order for this purpose. 

Personal Narrative Body Example

In conclusion, you need to provide the climax of the story. 

In this section of a personal narrative essay, you should wrap up the whole story. Do it in such a way that you provide a summary of the entire essay. 

Your conclusion should be just as impactful as your introduction. End with a memorable sentence or thought that leaves the reader with a lasting impression. You can summarize the main points of your essay or reflect on the significance of the experience in your life.

Make sure that you do not add any new points in this part. It will not give the reader a sense of accomplishment and will leave them in confusion. 

Personal Narrative Conclusion Example

How to Write a Personal Narrative Essay

A personal narrative essay is considered very good when it is expressive, and the reader enjoys your personal narrative. The key to writing an amazing personal narrative is to use sensory details as much as possible.

An excellent narrative essay doesn't tell what happened. Instead, it shows what happened precisely and how you have felt at that moment.

Here is how you can write a personal narrative essay:

  • Start With a Good Hook 

For any type of essay , a hook statement can be a game-changer. But, particularly for a personal narrative essay, hook sentences are very important. 

Usually, the introduction of the essay starts with this sentence. You may use a famous quotation, verse, or an interesting fact for this purpose. This sentence helps to attain the reader’s attention and persuade the reader to read the entire essay. 

  • Vivid Description 

For a narrative essay, it is a must to be vivid enough to let the reader imagine the whole scene. This is why it is necessary that the writer uses as much descriptive language as possible. 

For instance, if you are writing about a visit to the beach, you can describe how the sun felt on your face. On top of that, making use of strong verbs and adjectives will also help to provide an engaging experience for readers.  

  • Use Transition Words 

For any essay, be it an argumentative essay , descriptive essay , or personal narrative essay. It is very important to have some transition sentences and words. These transition words help to make a logical connection in all parts of the essay. 

In other words, the transition words help to make links between the storyline. You may use transition words like this, however, whereas, therefore, moreover, etc.

  • Add Emotions 

The purpose of a personal narrative essay is to show the reader what and how you have felt. Hence don't forget to add the emotions, as you have to make the reader know about the feelings. 

Describe all of the emotions and feelings using very descriptive words. 

  • Be Consistent 

Consistency is the key to writing an essay in a professional way. Make sure that you don't get distracted by any irrelevant details. 

Stay focused on one single point, and add details related to your specific idea.  Make sure that you inter-link all the events of the story in a regular manner. This will help the reader to relate all the events. Also, use first-person impressions as you are writing a personal narrative. 

You also want to show the reader that you are telling your own story. Make sure that you follow the same participle in the entire essay. 

  • Prove the Significance of Your Experience 

You know that behind every event, there is a reason. Similarly, let your readers know the reason behind your essay and its significance. 

Also, mention that the story you just told was important to share. 

As it is a personal narrative, you don't have to provide evidence to prove the significance of your story. Rather, you have to convey a broader message through your story. 

  • Use Dialogue

Dialogue is an excellent way to bring life to your story and make it more engaging. It can reveal the character’s personalities and add a touch of realism to the essay. 

When you use dialogue, make sure to punctuate it correctly and indicate who is speaking.

  • Show, Don't Tell

When writing a personal narrative essay, avoid summarizing events and simply telling the story. Instead, use sensory details to help the reader experience the story with you. 

Describe what you saw, heard, felt, tasted, and smelled to bring the story to life.

  • Reflect on the Experience

Reflection is an important part of any personal narrative essay. It is an opportunity for you to reflect on the experience you are writing about and what it means to you. Take the time to think about what you learned from the experience and how it has shaped you as a person.

Once you are done with writing your personal narrative essay. It's time that you put a little effort into making it error-free. Proofread the essay more than once and look for minor spelling mistakes and other grammatical mistakes. 

This will ensure that you have written an essay like a pro. You can do this yourself or you may ask a friend to do it for you.

To understand better how to write a personal narrative essay, take a few moments to watch the video below!

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Free Personal Narrative Essay Examples

Examples help you to understand things better; here are a few well-written  narrative essay examples . Read them thoroughly and use them as a guide to writing a good essay yourself.

Personal Narrative Essay 750 words

Personal narrative essays can be long or short. It depends on the writer how they want to elaborate things.

750 Words Personal Narrative Essay (PDF)

Personal Narrative Essay Examples for High School Students

Personal narrative essays are often assigned to high school students. If you are a high school student and looking for some good examples, you are exactly where you should be.

Best Summer Memory of My Childhood (PDF)

Near-Death Experience (PDF)

Personal Narrative Essay Examples for College Students

Being a college student, you will often get to write personal narrative essays. Here are a few examples of well-written personal narrative essays to guide college students.

Climbing a Mountain (PDF)

My First Job (PDF)

Want to get a better understanding? Dive into the wide collection of our narrative essay examples !

Personal Narrative Essay Topics

It is important to choose a good topic before you start writing. Here are some interesting  narrative essay topics  you can choose from for your essay.

  • My worst childhood memory
  • My favorite summer activities during vacation.
  • The first time I had a serious argument with my best friend
  • The first time someone broke my heart.
  • Things I could tell myself.
  • How I balance my family life and my professional life.
  • The most important rule in life
  • Teachers who inspired me in my college.
  • Why I love to write a diary
  • My favorite New York Times Article.
  • My favorite movie.
  • Personal advice for the youth of today.
  • How I overcame my stage fear.
  • The toughest decision I have ever made.
  • What I regret most

Need some inspiration to craft your essay? Our expansive list of narrative essay topics will provide you with plenty of ideas!

Personal Narrative Essay Writing Tips

You need to follow a few things in order to start your personal narrative essay in a proper way. Those significant things are as follows:

  • Think of a memorable event, an unforgettable experience, or any that you want to tell the readers.
  • Plan your narrative essay. Make yourself clear on the order in which you want to mention all the details.
  • Start your personal essay with a hook sentence. This will help you to grab the attention of the readers.
  • Use vivid language so that the reader can imagine the whole scene in mind. Describe the actions, mood, theme, and overall plot.
  • Make sure that you use descriptive language.
  • Use proper sentence structure.

In conclusion,

writing a personal narrative essay can be daunting for many students.

So, step into the world of professional essay writing with our specialized narrative essay writing service . We're committed to crafting compelling stories that capture and engage.

For added convenience and innovation, don't forget to check out our essay writer online , an AI tool designed to refine and elevate your writing experience. Join us today and transform your writing journey!

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personal narrative essay about bullying

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  21. Personal Narrative: My Experience With Bullying In Elementary...

    Bullying Although being bullied in elementary/middle school can lead to many negative things, it can also impact me in a positive way. When I was in elementary school I was bullied a lot because I was chunky, tall, had thick/ busy eyebrows, and had puffy natural hair. From being known as the ugly fat girl with huge bushy eyebrows and puffy hair ...

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    Descriptive Essay : A Short Story Of Bullying At School. There was a young Boy named Steve which had parents named Kelli and Matt. They were a very poor family and almost didn't have enough money for school let alone food. Steve always got bullied at school all the time because he was very poor.

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    Personal Essay: How Bullying Changed My Life It was from then on, I carefully chose my friends and put my trust in very few who had earned it. I have experienced, firsthand, what bullying can do to someone whether it was directed towards me or if I was a bystander.