world's longest essay copy and paste

Longest Text Ever (LTE)

Welcome to the website for a specific type of website or blog or whatever, a Longest Text Ever, or an LTE for short. I'm still working on some other things to add to this site, such as a supposed LTE Rules page and probably some other things I haven't thought of yet. If you've found or made an LTE not listed on here (or you have any other inquiries), email me! I may not respond all the time or in a timely manner, but I'll try!! Archival of LTEs only apply to those that are inactive (3 months without update). LTEs that become active after being archived are not re-archived unless that requirement is met.

Credit to viba for discovering most of the older LTEs on here.

Last updated on March 14th, 2024.

• Knockton's Potato LTE - 572,168 characters, started on June 2nd - 2022, active? Holds the record for being the longest on this list.
• Mckenzie's LTE - 277,687 characters, started on March 4th - 2020, active.
• The Pink-ish Pickle LTE - 258,315 characters, started on February 13th - 2020, active.
• Hermnerp's LTE - 230,634 characters, started on January 19th - 2004, ended in ~2009. (Archive)
• Flaming Chicken's LTE - 203,941 characters, started in ~2004, ended in ~2005. (Archive)
• RainbowFluffySheep's LoTeEv (Part 1) - 147,554 characters, started on March 2nd - 2018 and completed on December 7th - 2019? Original link may not be viewable on devices with a school proxy. (Archive)
• RainbowFluffySheep's LoTeEv (Part 2) - 102,992 characters, started sometime after part 1, last updated on May 5th - 2020. Original link may not be viewable on devices with a school proxy. (Archive)
• Falcon XWPlays's LTE - 107,292 characters, started on June 29th - 2023, possibly inactive.
• Iseycupcake's LTE - 92,522 characters, started on May 29th - 2020, currently inactive. (Archive)
• WhileTrue's LTE - 79,766 characters, started in March 2019, (updated recently but) ended in July 2019. (Archive)
• spice04's LTE - 70,813 characters, started on December 6th - 2023, active.
• 大円三とわはＳＭＭ's LTE - 61,369 characters, started on September 9th - 2022, active. (Old Archive)
• Slashii LTE - 50,944 characters, started on May 21st - 2023, last updated on October 1st, 2023. (Archive)
• NuclearPoultry's LTE (or The Longest Text Page) - 23,893 characters, started late July 2012, ended on July 24th - 2012? Original link may not be viewable on devices with a school proxy. (Archive)
• Kenneth Iman's LTE - 21,425 characters, started in ~2013, ended in ~2015. Original link got wiped, use the archive. (Archive)
• Textra LTE - 14,487 characters, started on September 10th - 2021, currently inactive. (Archive)
• The Book of Monika - 13,357 characters, started and last updated on June 15th, 2021, currently inactive. (Archive)
• BusterDdog's Kinda Boring Life - 12,734 characters, started on January 8th - 2021, currently inactive. (Archive)

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Absalom, Absalom! ">When William Faulkner Set the World Record for Writing the Longest Sentence in Literature: Read the 1,288-Word Sentence from Absalom, Absalom!

in Books , Literature , Writing | March 14th, 2019 35 Comments

Image by Carl Van Vecht­en, via Wiki­me­dia Com­mons

“How did Faulkn­er pull it off?” is a ques­tion many a fledg­ling writer has asked them­selves while strug­gling through a peri­od of appren­tice­ship like that nov­el­ist John Barth describes in his 1999 talk “My Faulkn­er.” Barth “ reorches­trat­ed ” his lit­er­ary heroes, he says, “in search of my writer­ly self… down­load­ing my innu­mer­able pre­de­ces­sors as only an insa­tiable green appren­tice can.” Sure­ly a great many writ­ers can relate when Barth says, “it was Faulkn­er at his most invo­lut­ed and incan­ta­to­ry who most enchant­ed me.” For many a writer, the Faulkner­ian sen­tence is an irre­sistible labyrinth. His syn­tax has a way of weav­ing itself into the uncon­scious, emerg­ing as fair to mid­dling imi­ta­tion.

While study­ing at Johns Hop­kins Uni­ver­si­ty, Barth found him­self writ­ing about his native East­ern Shore Mary­land in a pas­tiche style of “mid­dle Faulkn­er and late Joyce.” He may have won some praise from a vis­it­ing young William Sty­ron, “but the fin­ished opus didn’t fly—for one thing, because Faulkn­er inti­mate­ly knew  his Snopses and Comp­sons and Sar­toris­es, as I did not know my made-up denizens of the Mary­land marsh.” The advice to write only what you know may not be worth much as a uni­ver­sal com­mand­ment. But study­ing the way that Faulkn­er wrote when he turned to the sub­jects he knew best pro­vides an object les­son on how pow­er­ful a lit­er­ary resource inti­ma­cy can be.

Not only does Faulkner’s deep affil­i­a­tion with his char­ac­ters’ inner lives ele­vate his por­traits far above the lev­el of local col­or or region­al­ist curios­i­ty, but it ani­mates his sen­tences, makes them con­stant­ly move and breathe. No mat­ter how long and twist­ed they get, they do not wilt, with­er, or drag; they run riv­er-like, turn­ing around in asides, out­rag­ing them­selves and dou­bling and tripling back. Faulkner’s inti­ma­cy is not earnest­ness, it is the uncan­ny feel­ing of a raw encounter with a nerve cen­ter light­ing up with infor­ma­tion, all of it seem­ing­ly crit­i­cal­ly impor­tant.

It is the extra­or­di­nary sen­so­ry qual­i­ty of his prose that enabled Faulkn­er to get away with writ­ing the longest sen­tence in lit­er­a­ture, at least accord­ing to the 1983 Guin­ness Book of World Records , a pas­sage from Absa­lom, Absa­lom! c onsist­ing of 1,288 words and who knows how many dif­fer­ent kinds of claus­es. There are now longer sen­tences in Eng­lish writ­ing. Jonathan Coe’s The Rotter’s Club   ends with a 33-page long whop­per with 13,955 words in it. Entire nov­els hun­dreds of pages long have been writ­ten in one sen­tence in oth­er lan­guages. All of Faulkner’s mod­ernist con­tem­po­raries, includ­ing of course Joyce, Wolff, and Beck­ett, mas­tered the use of run-ons , to dif­fer­ent effect.

But, for a time, Faulkn­er took the run-on as far as it could go. He may have had no inten­tion of inspir­ing post­mod­ern fic­tion, but one of its best-known nov­el­ists, Barth, only found his voice by first writ­ing a “heav­i­ly Faulkner­ian marsh-opera.” Many hun­dreds of exper­i­men­tal writ­ers have had almost iden­ti­cal expe­ri­ences try­ing to exor­cise the Oxford, Mis­sis­sip­pi modernist’s voice from their prose. Read that one­time longest sen­tence in lit­er­a­ture, all 1,288 words of it, below.

Just exact­ly like Father if Father had known as much about it the night before I went out there as he did the day after I came back think­ing Mad impo­tent old man who real­ized at last that there must be some lim­it even to the capa­bil­i­ties of a demon for doing harm, who must have seen his sit­u­a­tion as that of the show girl, the pony, who real­izes that the prin­ci­pal tune she prances to comes not from horn and fid­dle and drum but from a clock and cal­en­dar, must have seen him­self as the old wornout can­non which real­izes that it can deliv­er just one more fierce shot and crum­ble to dust in its own furi­ous blast and recoil, who looked about upon the scene which was still with­in his scope and com­pass and saw son gone, van­ished, more insu­per­a­ble to him now than if the son were dead since now (if the son still lived) his name would be dif­fer­ent and those to call him by it strangers and what­ev­er dragon’s out­crop­ping of Sut­pen blood the son might sow on the body of what­ev­er strange woman would there­fore car­ry on the tra­di­tion, accom­plish the hered­i­tary evil and harm under anoth­er name and upon and among peo­ple who will nev­er have heard the right one; daugh­ter doomed to spin­ster­hood who had cho­sen spin­ster­hood already before there was any­one named Charles Bon since the aunt who came to suc­cor her in bereave­ment and sor­row found nei­ther but instead that calm absolute­ly impen­e­tra­ble face between a home­spun dress and sun­bon­net seen before a closed door and again in a cloudy swirl of chick­ens while Jones was build­ing the cof­fin and which she wore dur­ing the next year while the aunt lived there and the three women wove their own gar­ments and raised their own food and cut the wood they cooked it with (excus­ing what help they had from Jones who lived with his grand­daugh­ter in the aban­doned fish­ing camp with its col­laps­ing roof and rot­ting porch against which the rusty scythe which Sut­pen was to lend him, make him bor­row to cut away the weeds from the door-and at last forced him to use though not to cut weeds, at least not veg­etable weeds ‑would lean for two years) and wore still after the aunt’s indig­na­tion had swept her back to town to live on stolen gar­den truck and out o f anony­mous bas­kets left on her front steps at night, the three of them, the two daugh­ters negro and white and the aunt twelve miles away watch­ing from her dis­tance as the two daugh­ters watched from theirs the old demon, the ancient vari­cose and despair­ing Faus­tus fling his final main now with the Creditor’s hand already on his shoul­der, run­ning his lit­tle coun­try store now for his bread and meat, hag­gling tedious­ly over nick­els and dimes with rapa­cious and pover­ty-strick­en whites and negroes, who at one time could have gal­loped for ten miles in any direc­tion with­out cross­ing his own bound­ary, using out of his mea­gre stock the cheap rib­bons and beads and the stale vio­lent­ly-col­ored can­dy with which even an old man can seduce a fif­teen-year-old coun­try girl, to ruin the grand­daugh­ter o f his part­ner, this Jones-this gan­gling malar­ia-rid­den white man whom he had giv­en per­mis­sion four­teen years ago to squat in the aban­doned fish­ing camp with the year-old grand­child-Jones, part­ner porter and clerk who at the demon’s com­mand removed with his own hand (and maybe deliv­ered too) from the show­case the can­dy beads and rib­bons, mea­sured the very cloth from which Judith (who had not been bereaved and did not mourn) helped the grand­daugh­ter to fash­ion a dress to walk past the loung­ing men in, the side-look­ing and the tongues, until her increas­ing bel­ly taught her embar­rass­ment-or per­haps fear;-Jones who before ’61 had not even been allowed to approach the front of the house and who dur­ing the next four years got no near­er than the kitchen door and that only when he brought the game and fish and veg­eta­bles on which the seducer-to-be’s wife and daugh­ter (and Clytie too, the one remain­ing ser­vant, negro, the one who would for­bid him to pass the kitchen door with what he brought) depend­ed on to keep life in them, but who now entered the house itself on the (quite fre­quent now) after­noons when the demon would sud­den­ly curse the store emp­ty of cus­tomers and lock the door and repair to the rear and in the same tone in which he used to address his order­ly or even his house ser­vants when he had them (and in which he doubt­less ordered Jones to fetch from the show­case the rib­bons and beads and can­dy) direct Jones to fetch the jug, the two of them (and Jones even sit­ting now who in the old days, the old dead Sun­day after­noons of monot­o­nous peace which they spent beneath the scup­per­nong arbor in the back yard, the demon lying in the ham­mock while Jones squat­ted against a post, ris­ing from time to time to pour for the demon from the demi­john and the buck­et of spring water which he had fetched from the spring more than a mile away then squat­ting again, chortling and chuck­ling and say­ing ‘Sho, Mis­ter Tawm’ each time the demon paused)-the two of them drink­ing turn and turn about from the jug and the demon not lying down now nor even sit­ting but reach­ing after the third or sec­ond drink that old man’s state of impo­tent and furi­ous unde­feat in which he would rise, sway­ing and plung­ing and shout­ing for his horse and pis­tols to ride sin­gle-hand­ed into Wash­ing­ton and shoot Lin­coln (a year or so too late here) and Sher­man both, shout­ing, ‘Kill them! Shoot them down like the dogs they are!’ and Jones: ‘Sho, Ker­nel; sho now’ and catch­ing him as he fell and com­man­deer­ing the first pass­ing wag­on to take him to the house and car­ry him up the front steps and through the paint­less for­mal door beneath its fan­light import­ed pane by pane from Europe which Judith held open for him to enter with no change, no alter­ation in that calm frozen face which she had worn for four years now, and on up the stairs and into the bed­room and put him to bed like a baby and then lie down him­self on the floor beside the bed though not to sleep since before dawn the man on the bed would stir and groan and Jones would say, ‘fly­er I am, Ker­nel. Hit’s all right. They aint whupped us yit, air they?’ this Jones who after the demon rode away with the reg­i­ment when the grand­daugh­ter was only eight years old would tell peo­ple that he ‘was lookin after Major’s place and nig­gers’ even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and per­haps in time came to believe the lie him­self, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, ‘Well, Ker­nel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they?’ who even worked, labored, sweat at the demon’s behest dur­ing that first furi­ous peri­od while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable will­ing the Sutpen’s Hun­dred which he remem­bered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hope­less-blind Jones who appar­ent­ly saw still in that furi­ous lech­er­ous wreck the old fine fig­ure of the man who once gal­loped on the black thor­ough­bred about that domain two bound­aries of which the eye could not see from any point.

Relat­ed Con­tent:

5 Won­der­ful­ly Long Lit­er­ary Sen­tences by Samuel Beck­ett, Vir­ginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzger­ald & Oth­er Mas­ters of the Run-On

Sev­en Tips From William Faulkn­er on How to Write Fic­tion

William Faulkn­er Reads from As I Lay Dying

Josh Jones  is a writer and musi­cian based in Durham, NC. Fol­low him at  @jdmagness

by Josh Jones | Permalink | Comments (35) |

Related posts:

Comments (35), 35 comments so far.

Imag­ine read­ing a nov­el with a sen­tence that was 40 000 words long!

Ya know ya got ya ya girl ya ya know ya ya boy you got caught with them and then ya got a robot in the car with a car in your head that was the best dog ever and you can call me and call him when I wan­na is it time I get off work I will see if I got­ta I wan­na is a time I got a ride truck truck ride and iiiu­uyr

How did you do that. the longest thing that I have ever wrote was a 600 word para­graph and I just wrote that.

I think this is so cool that he spent this time on it but who would real­ly read this all

omg i have to read this about a week and im done and i just want to say this have made my day

i have wrote a sto­ry which has 12083 words in it. i broke the world record. but they did not give the award because i was a kid :C

Read this in an hour eas­i­ly

@arkin “It is sup­pos­ed­ly the world’s longest pub­lished nov­el in Eng­lish at 2.5 mil­lion words. If you have some extra time, you can read it at marienbadmylove.com. 4. A la recherche du temps per­du by Mar­cel Proust.”

I got a sen­tence that was 5639 words long

i just looked it up so can can copy and paste it on my school chat for fun not to read

I just want­ed to say, i real­ly like cheese, and…i think…i think my teacher is mad at me sry wait…shes mad because i was ask­ing my oth­er teacher ques­tions about work online… hmmm.…my teacher sure is a ##### ass fem­i­nist…

shutcho pick­el chin as up

i just wrote a sen­tence with 1,289 words so ha

oh real­ly i doubt it

oh real­ly i doubt it.

Maybe fact check before com­ing up with such bla­tant lies. 12083 is a mid length nov­el­ette.

hel­lo, I like to play Fort­nite it is a real­ly good game.

i just read this in a day

owfr­jt­nrgkzcb­vwruogjlv­da­jng­wruo­jl­nvdak­jefn­lvk aij hii­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­ii

This was so long

jfeo’is­b­hoaub­h­fvion­ad­k­fvb­skjvb efn­vkjnb­sx­uh­bgv hii­i­ii

Wow final­ly a wor­thy oppo­nent.

this has one word in it first per­son to see the gets $100 cash app njhce­whfb whebfuewhfjwenifbewiubfiebfebwqjfbwejnfewihfiuhweniufjeuirhfiuerfburiebfiewbjfkwefqhcewfhepwuhfiuwerfuiwqerpifjbruegferiuhfiuerwhfuiifewiviiuhuihrgiobguhtrbiuhtreiubhriurhviuwrhiuvht4rnrijpewvpiefhwnovjibrfpierfnhvipuerbfviuphrwipjvnwefkjvnpwiefv pirfnh­piejpo­er­w­pivher­w­poivh­wepri­u­vipr evi­jn­rei­jn­ro­jvwe­jr­fvoijer­reiobfr iuvfrvjo frvjr­weoijb­vweio­jr­foi­w­er­vice­br­wou­vb­wer­ou­vu perivoerijvoiuwerbviouweroiuberouvberfoefubvouiwriuebrouweuberwiuvherivyherwiubvewiurobviuwervuwervouwrewoiuvherwiuoeHIewijvhferiucbuhewjdhfewiufdhiu3riuheriufheriuhfiuerhfiuhwreiufhirwhiufhwiurhfiuhreiuhfiuheriwfhriehfiuerwhufihreuifheirhfiuwheruifherwoiuwfheruhwifhreiuhwoiuhfuerhfhwruifhriuehfueri

is it the word “be” found in the 17th, and 18th let­ters?

this is not a long para­graph it is mul­ti­ple

I am just not as pret­ty as my friend Haylee she is fab so give me a chance for this job

This has the word “his” in it

Had to trans­late this for his­to­ry class so I chose this sentence(How fing stu­pid of me)

That Was A lot Of Words

Bro I copied this and held paste and send it to my friend XD

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Word Play • Beta

Insult generator, popular keywords.

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The dropdown menu labeled “Style” is where you define the flavor of your verbal volley. Are you going for a vintage vitriol or a modern mockery? Selecting the style sets the tone, and while you’re at it, why not match the era of your insult with your outfit for the day?

Generate Your Insult

Once you’ve filled in the necessary details, the “Generate an Insult” button awaits your confident click. This is the moment of truth. Prepare to unveil an insult so sharp, it could slice a tomato by merely looking at it.

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Remember, the goal here is laughter, not lament. Use this tool to entertain and engage, not to harm. After all, the true art of insult is not in the words themselves, but in the shared mirth they bring when the jest is just right. Now go forth, you silver-tongued rogue, and let the banter begin!

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5 Longest Essay In The World

When it comes to writing essays, there are limits to how long they should be. However, some writers have disregarded those limits and created essays that are truly massive in length. In this article, we’ll take a look at the top 5 longest essays in the world.

List of Top 5 Longest Essay In The World 

These the Longest Essay In The World are 

“In Search Of The Miraculous: Or, One Thing Leads To Another” By Roger Ebert

“a la recherche du temps perdu” by marcel proust, “the anatomy of melancholy” by robert burton, “moby-dick” by herman melville, “the life and opinions of tristram shandy, gentleman” by laurence sterne, top 5 longest essay in the world .

Let us now know about the above-mentioned Longest Essay In The World

The longest essay in the world is “In Search of the Miraculous: Or, One Thing Leads to Another” by Roger Ebert, the famous film critic. The essay was published in 2011 and runs a staggering 3,262 pages.

“A la Recherche du Temps Perdu,” also known as “Remembrance of Things Past,” is a seven-volume novel by Marcel Proust. The entire work is considered one of the longest novels in the world, but the first volume alone, “Swann’s Way,” is over 600 pages long.

“The Anatomy of Melancholy” is a treatise on melancholy by Robert Burton, first published in 1621. The book is divided into three major sections and contains over 1,400 pages.

“Moby-Dick” is a novel by Herman Melville, first published in 1851. The book tells the story of Captain Ahab’s obsessive quest to kill the white whale, Moby-Dick. The novel is over 600 pages long and is considered one of the greatest American novels of all time.

“The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman” is a novel by Laurence Sterne, first published in 1759. The book is known for its unconventional structure and style, and it contains over 700 pages.

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What Is A 1,000-Word Essay?

A 1000-word essay is a paper written on your very own selected theme, composed in 1000 words. Usually, the quantity of pages used in a 1000-word essay is four a4 sheets, not more, so perhaps a 1000 words paper isn’t as much as you think.

What Is An Essay?

An essay is generally a short piece of writing outlining the writer’s perspective or story. It is often considered synonymous with a story or a paper or an article. Essays can be formal as well as informal. Formal essays are generally academic in nature and tackle serious topics.

Can I Write A 1000-Word Essay In 3 Hours?

How long does it take? If you’re a complete beginner, a 1000-word article should take 3 hours to 4 hours to complete.

Can I Finish A 1000-Word Essay In 2 Hours?

The writing time for a 1,000-word essay varies depending on the type of essay. You could say that it takes between 30 minutes and 2 hours to write most 1000-word college essays.

These essays and novels demonstrate the skill and dedication of their authors, who were able to create works of literature that are truly massive in length. While some of these works may be daunting to read, they stand as a testament to the power of language and the human imagination.

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How can a paragraph generator be used?

Business users can use a paragraph generator to identify potential markets and opportunities based on user-supplied parameters. Some examples of business sectors a paragraph AI writer can generate ideas for are technology, health care and transportation. You can use it in your blog, intro, social media post or essays.

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Once you have used a paragraph generator to generate ideas, you can copy-paste the output in a text editor as a starting point for further research or writing.

You can also share the generated paragraphs with others to get their feedback on your ideas. If you are using the paragraph generator for academic purposes, make sure to cite the tool in your essay.

What is a very long paragraph?

A very long paragraph is a paragraph with more than 200 words that is excessively long and rambling. This type of paragraph can be difficult to read and understand, and it can make your writing look unprofessional. If you find yourself generating very long paragraphs, try breaking them up into smaller paragraphs or bullet points.

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Written Into History: World's Longest Letter

Cumbria’s Longest Letter Sets Official Record

When eight schools in Cumbria set out to write the World’s Longest Letter during National Stationery Week 2015, they hoped to set records for their epic writing efforts. Now it’s official, with the Official World Record organisation verifying the 290 metre letter as the longest letter believed to have ever been written.

Written on Ambassador paper, which is more often used for high-quality, commercial stationery, invitations and reports, the letter was started by children from Queen Katherine School, Castle Park School, Vicarage Park, Stramongate Primary School, Ghyllside Primary School, Grayrigg Primary School, St Oswald’s Primary School and St Thomas’ Primary School, all local to the James Cropper mill in Kendal, Lake District. Each child stepped up to say what it was about their local area that they loved, with the letter proposed to be part of the Lake District National Park’s bid for UNESCO World Heritage Site status.

In summer 2015, it was decided by James Cropper and the National Park that the public should have their say and the letter was displayed in Brockhole, the Lake District Visitor Centre, with visitors of all ages invited to put pen to the letter. As the letter grew in length, so did the strength of people’s feeling towards the famously beautiful region, which James Cropper calls home. Many heartfelt messages were left, acclaiming everything from the breath-taking scenery to fantastic local food.

When the time to measure the letter came and bring the attempt to an end in October, Peter Hensman, chair of the Lake District National Park Partnership’s Business Task Force, Tim Tidman, Product Manager at James Cropper Paper and children from three of the participating schools came together to celebrate the end of a fantastic effort. Now, with the letter verified as a world record just a few weeks after it was completed, Mr Hensman and the 25 organisations responsible for the Lake District’s bid for World Heritage status in 2016 will use the tributes to show the UNESCO judging panel just what the region means to so many people.

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Generally, the length requirements are indicated in your assignment sheet. It can be words, paragraphs, or pages given as a range (300–500 words) or a particular number (5 pages). If you are not sure about your essay’s length, the number-one tip is to clarify it with your tutor. Also, if you’re not sure how to write an essay, we have a detailed guide on that topic, just follow the link.

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A (very long) essay on political communications, French style

19 October 2011

Posted by Alastair Campbell

18 minute(s) read

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9 responses to “A (very long) essay on political communications, French style”

The ego has landed.

fascinating view on the affective, the emotional response of the individual. Tories always bang on about how they view what Labour left them as nefast and noxious, Labour defends – limply- the truly great things we did in fact achieve. The above text would clearly show both miss the point. On vote pour le futur. Pas pour le passe The presidential focus of this text – On vote pour un homme. Pas pour un parti- may jar greatly with many in this country. T.B was viewed as too much this way by many.

Another masochist ?  It’s truly weird.

The emergence of social media is an interesting development and may, in time, alter the political dynamic. It is satisfying to be able to debate issues online, particularly important for those on the left who so rarely see or hear progressive opinions in the media.

Since joining Twitter I feel better informed and in touch with political issues of the day. Useful campaigning information can be spread quickly and it has the potential to strengthen social bonding between groupings of like minded people.

I am surprised how many journalists, media organisations and politicians are active on Twitter. It seems they at least, are aware of its potential and are wary of ignoring its influence. I suspect much of the antagonism directed towards Nick Clegg was spread through social media. Tenagers don’t generally read newspapers or watch TV news, but they do talk to each other via Facebook.

Let’s hope it will make a difference. Since the collapse of widescale union membership, too many natural Labour supporters don’t hear our political message. Most probably read right wing papers and watch Sky TV. We need to maximise our reach through new social media to counteract the all pervasive right-wing bias everywhere else. 

Norway is an amazing modern country, and how it has used it’s oil and natural resouces for the best of all its people should be a set lesson to any country in the World. Efficiency in it’s extraction, and efficiency in using its resulting wealth. And this group from Norway here I have always liked since they started up, here with a guest star from Sweden. Royksopp and Robyn, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfckrfOYAy4

And well done for having respect from La France, but that personally does not surprise me. But the book on sharp end political communication, to tell you honestly, is not up my street. I am into other things in life, you might have noticed.

Anyway, Alastair, isn’t it about time you thought of becoming an MP? Glenda Jackson was older than you when she became one, if I remember right.

Ah yes, just checked, she was about 56, while you are only, ahem!, 54, but without a couple of oscars…

you total wanks. I know who you are and everything. You are pathetic in trying to be higher. Higher than what, you tell we banging keyboard in your own worlds. Need a keyboard to grow vegetibles? Don’t think so somehow.

Time, ey? Who’ll have it? Raised with praise to die? Parentals withering before eyes, heartbreaking before yourself die.

Life, who’ll have it? asked? Not by many with sense. To see life’s gymnastics performed, buck over a horse yes or no the normed.

More scandanavian, with a 23 windowed VW german Samba minibus, and red riding hood, yes, her and her subliminal hidden story, Grimm from Copenhagen-like, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y54ABqSOScQ

Saw Clarissa Dickson show today – brilliant! Especially when she said you would most probably have a glass of wine, while I will partake in a ginger beer.

Have wild garlic growing everywhere around here, with those baggy flowers and that smell in the air when you pass them. Will have to note them so to dig the bulbs when ready. Gawd knows what garlic strain they be though.

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Reception. Observation. Perception. Emotion.

The most boring thing ever written.

I am writing something. Yes, I plan to make it the most boring thing ever written. I go to the store. A car is parked. Many cars are parked or moving. Some are blue. Some are tan. They have windows. In the store, there are items for sale. These include such things as soap, detergent, magazines, and lettuce. You can enhance your life with these products. Soap can be used for bathing, be it in a bathtub or in a shower. Apply the soap to your body and rinse. Detergent is used to wash clothes. Place your dirty clothes into a washing machine and add some detergent as directed on the box. Select the appropriate settings on your washing machine and you should be ready to begin. Magazines are stapled reading material made with glossy paper, and they cover a wide variety of topics, ranging from news and politics to business and stock market information. Some magazines are concerned with more recreational topics, like sports card collecting or different kinds of hairstyles. Lettuce is a vegetable. It is usually green and leafy, and is the main ingredient of salads. You may have an appliance at home that can quickly shred lettuce for use in salads. Lettuce is also used as an optional item for hamburgers and deli sandwiches. Some people even eat lettuce by itself. I have not done this. So you can purchase many types of things at stores.

If I drive around, I sometimes notice the houses and buildings all around. There are also pieces of farm land that are very large. Houses can be built from different kinds of materials. The most common types are brick, wood, and vinyl or synthetic siding. Houses have lawns that need to be tended. Lawns need to be mowed regularly. Most people use riding lawnmowers to do this. You can also use a push mower. These come in two varieties: gas-powered and manual. You don’t see manual push-mowers very much anymore, but they are a good option if you do not want to pollute the air with smoke from a gas-powered lawnmower. I notice that many families designate the lawnmowing responsibility to a teenager in the household. Many of these teenagers are provided with an allowance for mowing the yard, as well as performing other chores, like taking out the trash, washing the dishes, making their bed, and keeping the house organized. Allowances are small amounts of money given by parents to their children, usually on a weekly basis. These usually range from 5 dollars to 15 dollars, sometimes even 20 dollars. Many parents feel that teenagers can learn financial responsibility with this system.

Now I will talk about farm land. Farm land can be identified by some common features. They almost always consist of a very large patch of dirt with small green plants lined up in very long rows. You may sometimes see farm equipment riding over these rows, like tractors or combines. These machines help farmers grow more crops in less time. They are a very helpful invention. Some different types of crops are soybeans, cotton, corn, tomatoes, tobacco, and lettuce (which I mentioned earlier). Most crops are used as food, and can be defined as either fruits or vegetables. Some are commonly eaten raw, after being rinsed in water to remove any dirt. Some are often cooked, which helps give them a more pleasant taste and makes them easier to chew. A very versatile vegetable is the potato. It can be eaten raw, or it can be cooked in a variety of ways. They can be baked, and many people like to add butter to them. They can be mashed, and a lot of times brown gravy or milk gravy is poured on top of them. They can be cut into thin strips and fried. Typically a large amount of grease is required to prepare potatoes in this style, but they are easy to make and easy to eat. You can order them at several fast-food restaurants. Potatoes can also be boiled, stewed, and scalloped. There is a wide variety of options available to you when cooking potatoes.

Some other types of crops grown on farm land are used for other purposes. Cotton is used to make clothing (which I also mentioned earlier). It is a very versatile and inexpensive material for clothes. Such items as shirts, pants, socks, and underwear can be made from cotton. The process of converting cotton from a cotton plant to clothing is fairly complicated. Today, cotton is harvested more efficiently through the use of the cotton gin, invented by Eli Whitney many years ago.

Tobacco is another type of crop. It is used in making cigarettes. A lot of people smoke cigarettes, even though many medical sources have identified them as harmful to people’s health. Warnings are printed on cigarette packages reminding people of possible dangers resulting from smoking. Cigarettes are available in several brands, including Marlboro, Salem, and Virginia Slims. There is a brand called Kool, but I don’t know whether they are still available at most outlets. Tobacco farming is a large industry, and currently there is debate about it. Recently the government decided on some regulations that cost tobacco companies a large amount of money.

If you notice, some farm lands have animals living on them. Most of these are cows, and there are also pigs, sheep, and goats living on farms. Some are raised for the milk they provide. This milk goes through several processes to ensure that it is not contaminated before it is made available to consumers at stores (which I mentioned earlier). Another use for farm animals is meat. Three popular types of meat are beef, pork, and chicken. Beef comes from cows. Pork comes from pigs. Chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew that. These animals are raised to become plump and healthy, then they are killed, sometimes at slaughter houses. The meat is then removed from their bodies, cleaned, and made available at a variety of stores and restaurants. Sometimes this process can seem gross, but it is part of an advanced ecological food chain on earth. Just like birds eat worms and tigers eat deer, human beings eat cows and pigs. The main difference is that we don’t eat animals raw. We cook the meat to remove blood, fat, and germs from it. We also season our meat with salt or different kinds of sauces. The end result is food that is very tasty and is healthy for us.

Farmers do not like trespassers. If a farmer sees one, he will sometimes shoot at them with a shotgun that he owns. Trespassing is against the law. Laws are created by government to prevent people from living in fear. They are meant to provide safety for citizens. Our government in America consists of a legislative branch, an executive branch, and a judicial branch. The legislative branch makes laws based on the concerns of citizens they represent. The executive branch consists of the President. This person enforces the law, and he has certain other duties like declaring war and approving bills prepared by members of the legislative branch. The President is also considered the leader of our country. The judicial branch interprets the laws. This branch consists of the courts and the trials held in them. Here a judge and jury determine from evidence presented by lawyers whether someone is guilty of breaking a law. Initial law enforcement takes place among police officers. They are the first people to encounter situations where a law is being broken. If a criminal (law-breaker) becomes too violent or hostile, they will use guns or mace or nightsticks to administer immediate punishment. Their goal is to bring the criminal under control, so that he can receive a punishment determined by members of the judicial branch of government. Punishments mostly include time in jail, but they can also include fines and, in extreme cases, the death penalty. There is controversy surrounding the death penalty.

Children play with toys. This is common to almost all kids. Toys come in a very wide variety. Boys tend to like cars, action figures, and toy weapons. Girls tend to like dolls, toy kitchens, and make-up. Both of them like building or assembling things, be it with Legos, blocks, Play-Doh, or something similar. Toys can be found at most stores, and these days entire stores are dedicated to selling only toys. The most popular of these is Toys ‘R’ Us (with a backwards “R”). Their mascot is Geoffrey the Giraffe. Children love to go to Toys ‘R’ Us and look at the wide variety of toys available. Most children receive the greatest quanitity of toys on their birthdays, or during the holiday season in December. For the majority of children, this holiday is Christmas. For Jewish children, the holiday is Channakuh. Either way, the kid gets presents during this time, and most of these presents are toys.

Christmas is a holiday which has gradually become centered around the character “Santa Claus” and his elves and reindeer. Children are told that Santa’s elves build their toys, and Santa delivers them personally to each house in the world by riding in an airborne sleigh hauled by nine reindeer, including Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, who leads the way. Another popular Christmas character is Frosty the Snowman. Frosty is basically any snowman that comes to life. So during Christmas, many children build snowmen, and some of them hope that theirs might come to life. But all of these characters are myths. The true origin of Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, who founded the religion of Christianity a couple of thousand years ago. Many popular Christmas carols deal with his story, such as “Joy to the World” and “Silent Night.”

Other holidays include Thanksgiving, Halloween, and Independence Day. Thanksgiving has become a tradition of preparing large quantities of food for a large gathering of people, mainly family and friends. This meal usually features turkey or ham as the main course. Turkey and ham are both kinds of meat (which I mentioned earlier). The meal usually also consists of dressing and a wide assortment of vegetables (which I also mentioned earlier). The origin of Thanksgiving is usually traced to the days of the pilgrims, who were the first settlers in America. They made peace with the native people, the Indians, and together enjoyed a large feast, thanking God for providing them with such an abundance. (Their concepts of God were probably very different.)

Halloween is the holiday when people dress in costumes to look like other characters. Most of these are children, who go from door to door in different neighborhoods to request candy from the people living there. They usually say “trick or treat” then receive a treat. Very rarely does the person in the house respond with a trick. Halloween has some sort of demonic origin that I am not quite sure about, but the name derives from “All Hallow’s Eve.” I will not say much about Independence Day, but it is the day Americans celebrate the anniversary of our independence from Britain. Most families purchase fireworks during this holiday and set them off in their lawns (which I mentioned earlier).

America gained independence from Britain in the late 1700’s after the Revolutionary War. Britain was hoping to extend its empire across the Atlantic Ocean, but the colonists who settled the territory did not want to be under Britain’s control, with their various taxes and regulations. Both sides were very passionate about their position on the issue, so a war occurred. This war featured a few heroes, including George Washington and Paul Revere. George Washington became America’s first president when we gained independence. I am not sure what happened to Paul Revere. The Declaration of Independence was written before the war by Thomas Jefferson in 1776 and made clear the position of the colonists. It was signed by many important people, including Ben Franklin and John Hancock. Ben Franklin is well-known for many things. One of these is inventing electrical conductors in the form of lightning rods. A famous tale is that he flew a kite with a small piece of metal somewhere on the string during a lightning storm. This was an effective way to test his theory. Another thing Ben Franklin is known for is publishing Poor Richards Almanac. This was like a magazine and contained some of his famous writings and quotations. One famous quote was “Tell me, I forget. Teach me, I remember. Involve me, I learn.” Maybe this had something to do with why he flew that kite.

Trees are one of our most important natural resources. They are made of wood, and wood can be made into a variety of products. Some of the more obvious kinds are furniture, houses, and toothpicks. However, wood can also be made into paper. When I first heard this, I was skeptical, but it is true. Paper is a very important product in our society. Writers and artists have greatly benefited from the invention of paper. With only some paper and a pen or pencil, a writer can produce stories and poems that can captivate readers. They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news. Artists use paper for their drawings and paintings. They can also use canvas. Drawings and paintings can be very beautiful. They can depict a wide variety of subjects, including flowers, animals, landscapes, and people. They can be realistic or impressionistic. Some paintings also attempt to convey emotions merely by the way the colors are combined and the brushstrokes are applied. This is a modern or contemporary approach to art. Many people think this approach does not require as much talent as the realistic styles.

I will end my writing here. I have tried to make it very boring, and I hope I have succeeded. There are plenty of boring documents available for you to read. Check your public library for more information. You can also find boring materials at a bookstore or on websites. Sometimes this information can be found in magazines (which I mentioned earlier).

A wonderful soul has provided an audio narration of the first paragraph:

And another wonderful soul has provided an ASMR rendering of the entire essay!

259 Comments

I regret to inform you that I was actually interested in your article and not bored! I never knew that those things that cops carry around are called nightsticks! And that quote by Benjamin Franklin was equally interesting. I’m sorry but if you were trying to be boring you’ll have to do better than that.

I myself am attempting to write the most boring story ever. Writing a boring piece of literature is not as easy as one would think. Some are naturals at it while others need practice. I think you made a good shot at it. An important factor to remember is not just to make it boring, but to make it long and boring. You employed some good boring repetition and used facts that were mostly commonplace. That’s a good start. I think what would make it even boringly better is to make it more vague. Either that or make it extremely detailed…and not to mention excessively long. Another tip is to not write anything that is relevant to the reader’s life. In your article you mentioned Christmas. As I read that part of the article, I was reminded of the good Christmases I have had. Therefore, boredom was thwarted. These are just some tips I hope you gain some insight from. Good luck!

Thanks, Joe. Hopefully you conquer the realm of boring fiction the way I am attempting to conquer nonfiction.

I came across this many years ago, and struggled to find it again. I’m really glad that i did, and WOW IS IT BORING. I was not at all tired, and now I can’t stop myself yawning. Thank you for creating this.

Brade? Can i use this on my website and credit it to you?

Ace, if you feel it will make the world a more boring place, go right ahead.

fuk you bitch

Good sir, I shall thank you to leave if you insist upon using such salty speech.

I love you Brade. You rock.

I was reading this to try and fall asleep, but I kept laughing and laughing :(. I know you tried to make it boring, I guess knowing that made it funnier to me.

How about my story….

The duck waddled along the shore of the lake. The duck sees a piece of bread left by a human. The duck eats the piece of bread left by the human, then continues along the shore of the lake. The duck sees another piece of bread left by a human. The duck eats that piece of bread as well. The duck then continues along the edge of the lake. The duck sees another duck waddling along the edge of the lake. The duck sees the other duck find a piece of bread left by a human. The duck watches as the other duck eats the piece of bread left by the human. The two ducks continue along the edge of the lake. The two ducks see several other ducks come upon bread left by humans. As the two ducks watch, the other ducks eat the bread left by the humans. The two ducks then see another piece of bread left by a human. The two ducks eat the piece of bread left by the humans. All of the ducks continue along the edge of the lake. The ducks find no more bread, so they turn around and continue back along the edge of the lake. The ducks find no more bread that day, but all in all, it was a good day.

Mark, that is amazing. It took me two sittings to make it through your excerpt.

MAN RAD MAN. NOT BAD. I loved it because I was high. I felt like I was traveling to the local store.

Nice job! Hilarious in it’s spectacular nature, completely devoid of interest, essential funny because it is boring on purpose. Surely hope you meant it to be that way, because if you meant it to be a crime thriller you really missed the bus.

I found this article to be very boring. I do think it would make a great primer on earth life, and, more specifically, on life in the United States, for aliens. I enjoy the use of commas, which, as you may be aware, are a punctuation mark which, as you may also be aware, is used to indicate a pause in a text or, as the case may be, sentence. May I suggest a boring article on the various functions of punctuation marks?

I’m better than Ace and i am here specifically to troll even tho it’s not what i’m good at. P.S i’m better than Ace

-Better Than Ace

I am going to write the most boring thing ever..

BoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoring…

I am hungry. It’s 2 am. I can’t sleep, But I’m Asian so it appears as though I am normally. Well. Salt.

I messed up my name. It’s chonky.

That was pretty shit

Not all crops are fruits or vegetables. Corn is a grain

“I asher Am I Woman Of My Word.I am a Huge Buttface and When I asked My Mom did she like me she siad only as a Friend.I am A Big Time Loser Who Like To Look at Feet.Please Don’t Point Or Stare at My Uglyness or Ill Make You Smell My dirty,Filthy Butt.I wish That King Insane II Would Kiss My in the Mouth.Please King Insane”

that is so boring that when i read it to my boss after the first 4 sentences we were dropping dead from lack of brain circulation. im suprised my brain isnt bleeding so badly that i cant read this so very well done on this peice of horrible dustyness. boring….

lool this is boring

Well i was reading this to fall asleep but it didn’t work … I have a problem 0_0

I actually found this quite interesting… I too, was trying to read “boring” stuff to fall asleep (it’s 11:15pm) and I can’t find anything :(

use more repetition to make it more boring.

This was mostly boring. What kept it from being purely boring was that I keep reading to see where you go next. Try reading the first several chapters of the first book of Chronicles in the Bible – that’s some boring shit!

I actually found it quite interesting, but that was probably cause I was already bored-to-death before I reading it.

^^ Sorry, *before I READ

This is so boring good job but it sucks my granny doesn’t even talk dat boring

I love this website.

“Much respect” to the commenter who ran this essay through Gizoogle (which is hella funny), but it takes up madd space, so I’d rather provide a direct link: http://www.gizoogle.net/xfer.php?link=http://www.bradezone.com/2008/09/13/boring/&sa=U&ei=mvyIUda_IYSLhQe1v4DADg&ved=0CBgQFjAA&usg=AFQjCNEC4xA_nzV5p7TtHfMZ8IYgbzRWBA

Surprisingly, I found this quite interesting. I might just being a boring person!

Your “being boring” goal was so deftly achieved that I thought it was absolutely hysterical!

What’s up, just wanted to tell you, I liked this blog post. It was helpful. Keep on posting!

I read half of it and woke up same position still holding my phone sideways about an hour later last night. Didn’t even drop my phone! Lol

I gotta tell u…. i still cant sleep… need a more boring article… can u recommend any?

I laughed hysterically at this! I read if to my boyfriend, who is now asleep on me!

i feel like if i read this whole thing i could get brain dammage.no half of it could give me brain dammage

u probrably died in the process of writing this but i still see you commenting so i have no idea how you survived writing this whole thing

I quite enjoyed this, although, boring as it is, it did not help me get to sleep. I had a few chuckles though, which I am glad for.

i googled boring things to read cuz i couldn’t fall asleep last night (i was very angry and i cant sleep when im mad) i made it about half way through and fell asleep with my phone by my head. thank you for your help!

So boring. Splendid job. I must say, I was geniunely entertained by the complete lack of anything interesting in this story.

All is strange and vague. Are we dead? Or is this Ohio?

I read the entire thing and still can’t sleep. I need help, it maybe this isn’t boring enough.

Sweet shit dude

Haha that is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring/kinda interesting. I have seen more boring things and more kinda interesting things in the last 79 Years of my life!! Ya I’m 79 and I’m a granny, but I’m an up-beat granny!! Oosh that sucker!!!!!

bro this is the funniest txt ive ever read, thanks for making my day bro!

Because of this article I now have super-aids

Thank you, this helped me to sleep

Sorry but I was very intrestead in the article so now it’s 3 Am and I still can’t sleep

It’s been a more than a year since I last came on this page, time flies!! I can see my comment from Jan. 28th 2013 hahaha

Neither the Executive Branch or its head, the President of the United States, have the ability to declare war. This power comes from Congress, which is of the Legislative Branch.

Great point. I promise to correct this in the 2nd Edition.

I didnt believe at first that it could be that boring. i ended up skipping the whole thing after reading a few lines

sucks you should be ashamed of yourself. Thanks for wasting my time that, by the way I will never get back.

Best story on Earth!

Same with the story about the ducks!

Your writing is very interesting… In a boring way… I was looking for something to put me asleep and your writing almost did… Thanks for your boring essay… :D

Woooow Brad apparently you deleted my past comments or something because they are not there anymore, I thought we had something special you and me after all this time I’ve spent reading your essay… *snif*

Anyways yes I’m joking sorry and I’m coming back here to wonder why there are a bunch of comments all of a sudden LOL

I meant Brade!! Sorry!

I’m blind. I just found my past comment. Forget I ever said anything hehe…

It’s all good, Fred. I only delete comments that make me feel self-conscious about my writing.

It helped me sleep

awsome text

I have to thank you for this treasure. Reason being after I heard screams of help from my neighbor at 3am and a 911 call my nerves were shot. All in all, everyone is/will be okay now, and sleep may very well be in my future. Thank you.

BEST COMMENT EVER ^

I was looking for a boring paragraph to read myself to sleep… I found this to be quite interesting…

Goddamn that is really very boring. You have succeeded in making an insomniac person (me) fall asleep. Congrats.

I honestly think you tried your best at making a boring story, but it didn’t work. I think you can improve this by making it less random which causes people to laugh and flow into your nest topic. However i understand that making a boring story is hard and i congratulate you on trying your best.

Sincerely, A Person You Don’t Know

Dang i messed up on those other ones

It was meant to say “and you should flow into your next topic.”

Step 1. Copy entire passage Step 2. Google “Speed Reader” Step 3. Set reading speed Step 4. Enjoy!

( I read the whole thing in about 5 minutes, at speed 850)

Boring u idiot

Sorry, it’s too interesting and it really helps with my homework!! I yawned at last but I really liked it. You ROCK!!!!!

turnips are a long standing therapeutic remedy for sleeping carrot syndrome.

Well um that was very………boring lol

this is actually kinda interesting haha

Lolololololololololololololololol u r soooooooooo funny I couldn’t stop laughing lolololololololololololololololol lolololololololololololololololol lolololololololololololololololol P.S. Lol

Wow. No kidding! It is the most boring thing I have read!

very interesting, you are going to have to work harder. i suggest not going into as much detail. make it about the most bland, boring, day to day things you can think of (ex:i wake up.) try writing more in first person view.

BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just trying to bore myself to death for no reason…

bakwas pathetic waste of time i request you to sell diapers

Great story I would most definetly buy this if u wrote a book

This was quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire existence.

More borin stories please :)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz but not bad grammar!

I did not find ur essey boring..but if you..or anyone is looking for something boring enough to be sleepy…read all the comments here…you’ll be surely drowned.

I pictured Morgan Freeman narrating this as I read along and I can assure you, it was far from boring.

I actually enjoyed this which says something about my character

Haha this is hilarious! I love it. I came here in search of some dummy content for my projects and this is perfect!

I READ THE WHOLE THING!

Lol this is so boring

Well it didn’t work that well for me

Omg dying here laughing at the comments, Fred’s killed me almost, and the comma love guy, he was too much! And Brian, lol, just imagen its Morgan freeman narratoring this as a monologue, lol I’m glad I went to pee before I read this section and oh Brade dear, it was a very boring bit of writing, I could only get to the lettuce is a veg bit before I cheated and scrolled to the last paragraph, but I did like how you pulled the article all together by recalling what a magazine was haha but darn it all its 4:11am and I’m still awake

My eyes are caked up with the crusty remains of tears after having read most of this. My face was tremoring and exploding with bellowous laughter as I struggled from sentence to sentence. The more I read the less I could hold back the laughter. I thank you for the best laugh I’ve had in ages. I love the obvious statements you offer. Gold.

^ What a terrific way to usher in the 100th comment! Thanks Phil, and thanks Dawniepoos–although I wish you’d read past lettuce. Maybe during your next insomnia attack!

Lol I’m back for my second helping of the most boring article on the interwebz, it’s like a really rich chocolate cheesecake, ha ha i don’t wanna over do it and eat the whole thing at once! So tonight I got as far as the “farmer don’t like trespassers and they might shoot ya” bit and I’m just dying here, where the hell do you live anyways? Tears are rolling here, I’m some glad farmers around here don’t do that or we’d have alotta dead people in the fields beside their 4 wheelers and omg I can just imagen a vegan really this article, they’d be so appalled at the “meat is tastey and good for you” bit, not that I disagree cuz what’s better than bacon?

I did not bother to finish it, as a matter of fact i did not even scratch it. So with that being said I do think you did a wonderful job of making it boreding.

Just wanted to say, I didn’t think this article was boring at all. In fact, I thought it was a bit of a masterpiece. I think you have a great ability to pick out the relevant information about the world around you, without deviating or offering unnecessary opinions, or getting bogged down in unnecessary description. However, I’d also like to point out that potatoes cannot be eaten raw. Consumption of raw potatoes can, in some instances, lead to serious food poisoning and even death.

I cannot believe this is still on the world wide web.. I feel connected to you all.

I read this to my fiance to try and bore him to sleep but we both ended up dying laughing through most of it. It’s not boring to me, it is mostly hysterical because of the random subject changes. “There is controversy surrounding the death penalty. Children play with toys.” This subject change in particular had me laughing so hard I almost couldn’t breathe. This is golden. I absolutely love it.

every time my little brother wont go away, I start reading this in a monotone voice. works every time!

I like it. It wasn’t that boring at all. I was imagining everything that was written. Thank you though.

THANKYOU!!!! My little sister was watching me watch YouTube. Of course, I hate it when people watch me do stuff. So, I developed a plan. I would look up something boring to get rid of her. AND IT WORKED!!! Hey, I love my family and all, but sometimes, I just need my space.

Sounds like a smart plan. This essay was certainly not meant to be enjoyed via over-the-shoulder reading.

This really helped stop my little brother from breathing on my neck.

Soooo boring! Thank you

SORRY U DIDNT SUCCEED CALL ME FOR THE GREATEST BORING STUFF

0243244803.0208088040

this is rlly boring. great job. :/

I spammed this to my friend skype and it bugged the hell out of him thnx brade

LOL even though its supposed to be boring its funny and not boring really lol

I had paperwork to finish and my 7 year old kid wouldn’t quit bugging me to play with him. I typed read something boring to my kid to get rid of him and your site came up first. I read the first three paragraphs and he said “this is boring” and left the room. So, your most boring writing served a useful purpose.

Not boring at all. It was interesting to read it and to see simple american view on simple things. However, I see lack of knowledge about simple things like food because nowdays food is not prepared healthy, it’s not healthy at all now. People add many chemicals who cause feeling of good “taste”.

Ironically this is the most un-boring shit I’ve read.

Thanks for the boredom. I read this on Christms Eve, as I was not able to sleep. This made me tired and bored, therefore I slept. And for that, I thank you.

jesus christ this helps me alot to fall alseep awesome text

Thank you for posting this very long article, which I cut and pasted into a Word document to show someone how to make columns and page breaks. You may have thought this was boring, but reading it in a library made me want to laugh out loud and break the sacred silence.

This was beautful ;-; Used it to troll mah friends XD

I’m sorry but that wasn’t the most boring thing ever I found sort of interesting and informative I liked it though there is also lots of infering to do like the thin prices of potatoes are frys you see the connection .If you want to make a boring story then do like the cat goes meow the cow gose moo etc.do you see my point

PS not trying to be rude.tell me if I am

Lol. That is all I have to say. LOL.

Thank you for this boring essay. When my brothers or sisters send me a boring text about something I don’t care about, I just copy paste your essay and send it back to them. The ultimate payback.

It wasn’t boring

Wow this is actually not boring lmao when im bored i read these they are funny Great Job on making these :)

Beautiful >.<

Oh man it’s 3:30 am and I’m still awake after reading this oh what to do :(

I thought this was going to have a cliff hanger at the end but i read it all anyways good job at being boring and i wonder how you felt while writing this

That was actually quite interesting in places, but, yes, very long winded and boring in others. You have succeeded. ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 1/2 stars for boringness. My favourite part that almost made me lol was chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew that already. Haha.

That was actually quite interesting in places, but, yes, quite long-winded and boring in others. You have succeeded. ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 1/2 stars for boringness. My favourite part that almost made me lol was: “Chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew that already.” Haha.

Wtf did someone hack me I do not know where that tiger profile pic came from and I only posted my comment once. Hmmm. Btw I loved the random subject changes I was so funny. I just read all comments. Loved the duck story and the comma obsessed guy who used it like a million times lol

Very interesting indeed.

Very interesting 😂

Mr. Banality says: Why is the “G” in google blue? Let’s just think about that for a moment. We try here with this very simple question to get to the essense of banality. What it truly means to experience a banality darkly.

Mr. Banality asks: Why Yoga? When you can Yawn?

It was kinda funny what I read out of it. But it was funny cuz it was stupid lol.

Lmao so boring i had to use it to spam a chat

This is actually fun to read lolol wth

Dis is actually fun lolol wth

*slow clap*

*like button*

If your desire was truly to write the most boring thing, then you have failed here. This is actually quite an interesting piece. Don’t underestimate the power of stating the obvious. It’s not obvious to all.

This is a fascinating cultural phenomenon: “They usually say “trick or treat” then receive a treat. Very rarely does the person in the house respond with a trick.”

This is particularly insightful.. “They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news.”

You seem not to care about this piece, but I’m using it as an example of understated writing with my graduate students.

This changed my life

Page, that’s pretty rad. Hopefully the students don’t nod off!

i sucessed to something yes you will ask to me to what? firstly i wanna tell you i am so sadding sad beacuse since 3year i have wanna something and every summer ever winter and i am sure you re worring result exactly 0 zero beacuse i have no money i passed to abroad and one university but i wont go to there beacusd no scholarship nooo i understood just something health and money are the important in the word life damn it really … i am despirete too much i prayed to god for help …

That was not boring. I had to read a Michelle Obama biography once. THAT is boring.

i found this really fun to read and i hope you can email me another one. many thanks.

I laughed too much!

This actually helped me fall asleep last night thank you lol

you won!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Brade, I’ve been looking for something to tell telemarketers when they call me. I shall print off this incredibly long story and see how long it is before they hang up on me. Oh thanks, thanks and thanks

Your meat section is alll wrong. 1. Beef does not come from a cow, it is a cow. Same with pork and chicken. They are not sometimes slaughtered at slaughter houses but they are. Every day 56 BILLION animals are killed for your enjoyment to eat. The process does not seem gross it is Disgusting. If you cannot watch and understand how a animal is killed for food, you should not eat meat!! “People do not want to hear truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed”

This is the most boring article ever!!!!!!!😤

truly boring

Actually it is not so boring, it is just rambling, and the continual change in topics actually keeps it going. To be truly boring you need repetition. Also your occasional thoughts/insights throughout add elements of surprise, or at least punctuation, that break up the boredom. I stop to read this while grading student papers, and they were far more boring than this (because the same topic over and over and over and over). This almost just sounds like normal people talking – so I think your are mistakenly saying that the innane is banal. But nice try…

I found this rather captivating, God knows why

The only thing interesting is when you said “I am writing something. Yes, I plan to make it the most boring thing ever written. I go to the store. A car is parked. Many cars are parked or moving. Some are blue. Some are tan. They have windows. In the store, there are items for sale. These include such things as soap, detergent, magazines, and lettuce. You can enhance your life with these products. Soap can be used for bathing, be it in a bathtub or in a shower. Apply the soap to your body and rinse. Detergent is used to wash clothes. Place your dirty clothes into a washing machine and add some detergent as directed on the box. Select the appropriate settings on your washing machine and you should be ready to begin. Magazines are stapled reading material made with glossy paper, and they cover a wide variety of topics, ranging from news and politics to business and stock market information. Some magazines are concerned with more recreational topics, like sports card collecting or different kinds of hairstyles. Lettuce is a vegetable. It is usually green and leafy, and is the main ingredient of salads. You may have an appliance at home that can quickly shred lettuce for use in salads. Lettuce is also used as an optional item for hamburgers and deli sandwiches. Some people even eat lettuce by itself. I have not done this. So you can purchase many types of things at stores. If I drive around, I sometimes notice the houses and buildings all around. There are also pieces of farm land that are very large. Houses can be built from different kinds of materials. The most common types are brick, wood, and vinyl or synthetic siding. Houses have lawns that need to be tended. Lawns need to be mowed regularly. Most people use riding lawnmowers to do this. You can also use a push mower. These come in two varieties: gas-powered and manual. You don’t see manual push-mowers very much anymore, but they are a good option if you do not want to pollute the air with smoke from a gas-powered lawnmower. I notice that many families designate the lawnmowing responsibility to a teenager in the household. Many of these teenagers are provided with an allowance for mowing the yard, as well as performing other chores, like taking out the trash, washing the dishes, making their bed, and keeping the house organized. Allowances are small amounts of money given by parents to their children, usually on a weekly basis. These usually range from 5 dollars to 15 dollars, sometimes even 20 dollars. Many parents feel that teenagers can learn financial responsibility with this system. Now I will talk about farm land. Farm land can be identified by some common features. They almost always consist of a very large patch of dirt with small green plants lined up in very long rows. You may sometimes see farm equipment riding over these rows, like tractors or combines. These machines help farmers grow more crops in less time. They are a very helpful invention. Some different types of crops are soybeans, cotton, corn, tomatoes, tobacco, and lettuce (which I mentioned earlier). Most crops are used as food, and can be defined as either fruits or vegetables. Some are commonly eaten raw, after being rinsed in water to remove any dirt. Some are often cooked, which helps give them a more pleasant taste and makes them easier to chew. A very versatile vegetable is the potato. It can be eaten raw, or it can be cooked in a variety of ways. They can be baked, and many people like to add butter to them. They can be mashed, and a lot of times brown gravy or milk gravy is poured on top of them. They can be cut into thin strips and fried. Typically a large amount of grease is required to prepare potatoes in this style, but they are easy to make and easy to eat. You can order them at several fast-food restaurants. Potatoes can also be boiled, stewed, and scalloped. There is a wide variety of options available to you when cooking potatoes. Some other types of crops grown on farm land are used for other purposes. Cotton is used to make clothing (which I also mentioned earlier). It is a very versatile and inexpensive material for clothes. Such items as shirts, pants, socks, and underwear can be made from cotton. The process of converting cotton from a cotton plant to clothing is fairly complicated. Today, cotton is harvested more efficiently through the use of the cotton gin, invented by Eli Whitney many years ago. Tobacco is another type of crop. It is used in making cigarettes. A lot of people smoke cigarettes, even though many medical sources have identified them as harmful to people’s health. Warnings are printed on cigarette packages reminding people of possible dangers resulting from smoking. Cigarettes are available in several brands, including Marlboro, Salem, and Virginia Slims. There is a brand called Kool, but I don’t know whether they are still available at most outlets. Tobacco farming is a large industry, and currently there is debate about it. Recently the government decided on some regulations that cost tobacco companies a large amount of money. If you notice, some farm lands have animals living on them. Most of these are cows, and there are also pigs, sheep, and goats living on farms. Some are raised for the milk they provide. This milk goes through several processes to ensure that it is not contaminated before it is made available to consumers at stores (which I mentioned earlier). Another use for farm animals is meat. Three popular types of meat are beef, pork, and chicken. Beef comes from cows. Pork comes from pigs. Chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew that. These animals are raised to become plump and healthy, then they are killed, sometimes at slaughter houses. The meat is then removed from their bodies, cleaned, and made available at a variety of stores and restaurants. Sometimes this process can seem gross, but it is part of an advanced ecological food chain on earth. Just like birds eat worms and tigers eat deer, human beings eat cows and pigs. The main difference is that we don’t eat animals raw. We cook the meat to remove blood, fat, and germs from it. We also season our meat with salt or different kinds of sauces. The end result is food that is very tasty and is healthy for us. Farmers do not like trespassers. If a farmer sees one, he will sometimes shoot at them with a shotgun that he owns. Trespassing is against the law. Laws are created by government to prevent people from living in fear. They are meant to provide safety for citizens. Our government in America consists of a legislative branch, an executive branch, and a judicial branch. The legislative branch makes laws based on the concerns of citizens they represent. The executive branch consists of the President. This person enforces the law, and he has certain other duties like declaring war and approving bills prepared by members of the legislative branch. The President is also considered the leader of our country. The judicial branch interprets the laws. This branch consists of the courts and the trials held in them. Here a judge and jury determine from evidence presented by lawyers whether someone is guilty of breaking a law. Initial law enforcement takes place among police officers. They are the first people to encounter situations where a law is being broken. If a criminal (law-breaker) becomes too violent or hostile, they will use guns or mace or nightsticks to administer immediate punishment. Their goal is to bring the criminal under control, so that he can receive a punishment determined by members of the judicial branch of government. Punishments mostly include time in jail, but they can also include fines and, in extreme cases, the death penalty. There is controversy surrounding the death penalty. Children play with toys. This is common to almost all kids. Toys come in a very wide variety. Boys tend to like cars, action figures, and toy weapons. Girls tend to like dolls, toy kitchens, and make-up. Both of them like building or assembling things, be it with Legos, blocks, Play-Doh, or something similar. Toys can be found at most stores, and these days entire stores are dedicated to selling only toys. The most popular of these is Toys ‘R’ Us (with a backwards “R”). Their mascot is Geoffrey the Giraffe. Children love to go to Toys ‘R’ Us and look at the wide variety of toys available. Most children receive the greatest quanitity of toys on their birthdays, or during the holiday season in December. For the majority of children, this holiday is Christmas. For Jewish children, the holiday is Channakuh. Either way, the kid gets presents during this time, and most of these presents are toys. Christmas is a holiday which has gradually become centered around the character “Santa Claus” and his elves and reindeer. Children are told that Santa’s elves build their toys, and Santa delivers them personally to each house in the world by riding in an airborne sleigh hauled by nine reindeer, including Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, who leads the way. Another popular Christmas character is Frosty the Snowman. Frosty is basically any snowman that comes to life. So during Christmas, many children build snowmen, and some of them hope that theirs might come to life. But all of these characters are myths. The true origin of Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, who founded the religion of Christianity a couple of thousand years ago. Many popular Christmas carols deal with his story, such as “Joy to the World” and “Silent Night.” Other holidays include Thanksgiving, Halloween, and Independence Day. Thanksgiving has become a tradition of preparing large quantities of food for a large gathering of people, mainly family and friends. This meal usually features turkey or ham as the main course. Turkey and ham are both kinds of meat (which I mentioned earlier). The meal usually also consists of dressing and a wide assortment of vegetables (which I also mentioned earlier). The origin of Thanksgiving is usually traced to the days of the pilgrims, who were the first settlers in America. They made peace with the native people, the Indians, and together enjoyed a large feast, thanking God for providing them with such an abundance. (Their concepts of God were probably very different.) Halloween is the holiday when people dress in costumes to look like other characters. Most of these are children, who go from door to door in different neighborhoods to request candy from the people living there. They usually say “trick or treat” then receive a treat. Very rarely does the person in the house respond with a trick. Halloween has some sort of demonic origin that I am not quite sure about, but the name derives from “All Hallow’s Eve.” I will not say much about Independence Day, but it is the day Americans celebrate the anniversary of our independence from Britain. Most families purchase fireworks during this holiday and set them off in their lawns (which I mentioned earlier). America gained independence from Britain in the late 1700’s after the Revolutionary War. Britain was hoping to extend its empire across the Atlantic Ocean, but the colonists who settled the territory did not want to be under Britain’s control, with their various taxes and regulations. Both sides were very passionate about their position on the issue, so a war occurred. This war featured a few heroes, including George Washington and Paul Revere. George Washington became America’s first president when we gained independence. I am not sure what happened to Paul Revere. The Declaration of Independence was written before the war by Thomas Jefferson in 1776 and made clear the position of the colonists. It was signed by many important people, including Ben Franklin and John Hancock. Ben Franklin is well-known for many things. One of these is inventing electrical conductors in the form of lightning rods. A famous tale is that he flew a kite with a small piece of metal somewhere on the string during a lightning storm. This was an effective way to test his theory. Another thing Ben Franklin is known for is publishing Poor Richards Almanac. This was like a magazine and contained some of his famous writings and quotations. One famous quote was “Tell me, I forget. Teach me, I remember. Involve me, I learn.” Maybe this had something to do with why he flew that kite. Trees are one of our most important natural resources. They are made of wood, and wood can be made into a variety of products. Some of the more obvious kinds are furniture, houses, and toothpicks. However, wood can also be made into paper. When I first heard this, I was skeptical, but it is true. Paper is a very important product in our society. Writers and artists have greatly benefited from the invention of paper. With only some paper and a pen or pencil, a writer can produce stories and poems that can captivate readers. They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news. Artists use paper for their drawings and paintings. They can also use canvas. Drawings and paintings can be very beautiful. They can depict a wide variety of subjects, including flowers, animals, landscapes, and people. They can be realistic or impressionistic. Some paintings also attempt to convey emotions merely by the way the colors are combined and the brushstrokes are applied. This is a modern or contemporary approach to art. Many people think this approach does not require as much talent as the realistic styles. I will end my writing here. I have tried to make it very boring, and I hope I have succeeded. There are plenty of boring documents available for you to read. Check your public library for more information. You can also find boring materials at a bookstore or on websites. Sometimes this information can be found in magazines (which I mentioned earlier). “

Best comment is best.

I couldn’t even get past the first paragraph lol

Brade you took boorishness to another level !

This was actually very good. I have a vivid imagination and Inused it while reading this priceless document.

Joy to the World is not actually a Christmas carol. Thank you for telling us ( boring article readers) the true reason for Christmas. I love Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

This rather reminds me of my childhood science book. 😂

Sooooo interesting… (sarcastic voice)

more entertaining than my homework :T

Good job mate.

boing and stupid

Is it natural that I was laughing whole way through?

Helped me sleep

Surrounded affronting favourable no mr. Lain knew like half she yet joy. Be than dull as seen very shot. Attachment ye so am travelling estimating projecting is. Off fat address attacks his besides. Suitable settling mr attended no doubtful feelings. Any over for say bore such sold five but hung.

Tiled say decay spoil now walls meant house. My mr interest thoughts screened of outweigh removing. Evening society musical besides inhabit ye my. Lose hill well up will he over on. Increasing sufficient everything men him admiration unpleasing sex. Around really his use uneasy longer him man. His our pulled nature elinor talked now for excuse result. Admitted add peculiar get joy doubtful.

To shewing another demands to. Marianne property cheerful informed at striking at. Clothes parlors however by cottage on. In views it or meant drift to. Be concern parlors settled or do shyness address. Remainder northward performed out for moonlight. Yet late add name was rent park from rich. He always do do former he highly.

Guest it he tears aware as. Make my no cold of need. He been past in by my hard. Warmly thrown oh he common future. Otherwise concealed favourite frankness on be at dashwoods defective at. Sympathize interested simplicity at do projecting increasing terminated. As edward settle limits at in.

So delightful up dissimilar by unreserved it connection frequently. Do an high room so in paid. Up on cousin ye dinner should in. Sex stood tried walls manor truth shy and three his. Their to years so child truth. Honoured peculiar families sensible up likewise by on in.

She wholly fat who window extent either formal. Removing welcomed civility or hastened is. Justice elderly but perhaps expense six her are another passage. Full her ten open fond walk not down. For request general express unknown are. He in just mr door body held john down he. So journey greatly or garrets. Draw door kept do so come on open mean. Estimating stimulated how reasonably precaution diminution she simplicity sir but. Questions am sincerity zealously concluded consisted or no gentleman it.

Picture removal detract earnest is by. Esteems met joy attempt way clothes yet demesne tedious. Replying an marianne do it an entrance advanced. Two dare say play when hold. Required bringing me material stanhill jointure is as he. Mutual indeed yet her living result matter him bed whence.

Imagine was you removal raising gravity. Unsatiable understood or expression dissimilar so sufficient. Its party every heard and event gay. Advice he indeed things adieus in number so uneasy. To many four fact in he fail. My hung it quit next do of. It fifteen charmed by private savings it mr. Favourable cultivated alteration entreaties yet met sympathize. Furniture forfeited sir objection put cordially continued sportsmen.

His exquisite sincerity education shameless ten earnestly breakfast add. So we me unknown as improve hastily sitting forming. Especially favourable compliment but thoroughly unreserved saw she themselves. Sufficient impossible him may ten insensible put continuing. Oppose exeter income simple few joy cousin but twenty. Scale began quiet up short wrong in in. Sportsmen shy forfeited engrossed may can.

Considered an invitation do introduced sufficient understood instrument it. Of decisively friendship in as collecting at. No affixed be husband ye females brother garrets proceed. Least child who seven happy yet balls young. Discovery sweetness principle discourse shameless bed one excellent. Sentiments of surrounded friendship dispatched connection is he. Me or produce besides hastily up as pleased. Bore less when had and john shed hope.

How’s that for boring?

An excellent James Joyce impression there, I’d say.

Thank you so much for this!!!! I am teaching high school English, and this is GOLD!

That was actually pretty cool!

This story is actually pretty interesting.

Its very interesting to say the least.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

Welp.I clicked off on the 2nd wourd.

This is really good. You should do more of this.

Thank you for writing this story!!I actually loved it.

This was very boring

Thank you for being able to always kill my boners in class. <3

Who seriously has the time to write that shit

I like your website!!! :) I like cars too, and you? ;)

Bye… Thank for your attention :)

sup homie sick story loved it

This is a very good story. It has a lot of things that make a story good. For instance, the grammar is arranged very well. The indentation of the paragraphs make it look better on the eyes. The vivid descriptions of different products let us visualize what it is like to use everyday objects like paper. The story has a beginning, a middle, and an end, which is a good thing to have in a story. The story has many plot twists. At one time, it’s talking about wood’s use infurniture. Later, it talks about wood’s use in houses. A really well written plot twist is that wood can be used for paper. This was a very good story, and a very good comment about this story. Please leave a comment and give me constructive critisism on my skills with plot structure and grammar for writing future comments.

Thanks, John Doe. When this essay is made into a movie, I’ll have you create the official trailer.

Thanks a lot for this lovely text. I read this out to my online friend, and it helped him fall asleep. Very useful :)

“Tell me, I forget. Teach me, I remember. Involve me, I learn.” Maybe this had something to do with why he flew that kite.

This is perhaps a little too interesting! But, then again, it is a quote from a very interesting person and not something original, so maybe it rather is boring.

boring as hellllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clickbait, this is entertaining.

Hey Brade, Can I use this as a mock passage in a mock test to torture our teacher? Many thanks – this is very boring.

Go for it, Brennan. Hopefully the teacher quits on the spot!

2019????? anyone?

best thing 2 send 2 annoying friends;)

best thing to send 2 annoying friends;)

As a punishment in my technology class, my teacher wants us to copy all this text in an hour. Not gonna lie, after reading it, I don’t think it’s a punishment. But that’s because I get to read all that nonsense again.

Well, I read the whole thing, hoping that it would help me with my insomnia. I’m afraid it wasn’t quite boring enough. But thanks for trying.

˙sǝןʎʇs ɔıʇsıןɐǝɹ ǝɥʇ sɐ ʇuǝןɐʇ ɥɔnɯ sɐ ǝɹınbǝɹ ʇou sǝop ɥɔɐoɹddɐ sıɥʇ ʞuıɥʇ ǝןdoǝd ʎuɐɯ ˙ʇɹɐ oʇ ɥɔɐoɹddɐ ʎɹɐɹodɯǝʇuoɔ ɹo uɹǝpoɯ ɐ sı sıɥʇ ˙pǝıןddɐ ǝɹɐ sǝʞoɹʇsɥsnɹq ǝɥʇ puɐ pǝuıqɯoɔ ǝɹɐ sɹoןoɔ ǝɥʇ ʎɐʍ ǝɥʇ ʎq ʎןǝɹǝɯ suoıʇoɯǝ ʎǝʌuoɔ oʇ ʇdɯǝʇʇɐ osןɐ sbuıʇuıɐd ǝɯos ˙ɔıʇsıuoıssǝɹdɯı ɹo ɔıʇsıןɐǝɹ ǝq uɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ ˙ǝןdoǝd puɐ ‘sǝdɐɔspuɐן ‘sןɐɯıuɐ ‘sɹǝʍoןɟ buıpnןɔuı ‘sʇɔǝظqns ɟo ʎʇǝıɹɐʌ ǝpıʍ ɐ ʇɔıdǝp uɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ ˙ןnɟıʇnɐǝq ʎɹǝʌ ǝq uɐɔ sbuıʇuıɐd puɐ sbuıʍɐɹp ˙sɐʌuɐɔ ǝsn osןɐ uɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ ˙sbuıʇuıɐd puɐ sbuıʍɐɹp ɹıǝɥʇ ɹoɟ ɹǝdɐd ǝsn sʇsıʇɹɐ ˙sʍǝu pǝɹǝpısuoɔ ǝq ʎןqɐqoɹd pןnoɔ sbuıʇıɹʍ ǝɥʇ ‘ǝɯıʇ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ˙ɹǝʇɐן sɹɐǝʎ ןıʇun ןɐɔıɹoʇsıɥ ǝɯoɔǝq ʇ’uop sbuıʇıɹʍ ǝsǝɥʇ ‘ʎןןɐnʇɔɐ ˙ʎʇǝıɔos ɹıǝɥʇ ʇnoqɐ sʇɔɐɟ ןɐɔıɹoʇsıɥ uʍop ǝʇıɹʍ osןɐ uɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ ˙sɹǝpɐǝɹ ǝʇɐʌıʇdɐɔ uɐɔ ʇɐɥʇ sɯǝod puɐ sǝıɹoʇs ǝɔnpoɹd uɐɔ ɹǝʇıɹʍ ɐ ‘ןıɔuǝd ɹo uǝd ɐ puɐ ɹǝdɐd ǝɯos ʎןuo ɥʇıʍ ˙ɹǝdɐd ɟo uoıʇuǝʌuı ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ pǝʇıɟǝuǝq ʎןʇɐǝɹb ǝʌɐɥ sʇsıʇɹɐ puɐ sɹǝʇıɹʍ ˙ʎʇǝıɔos ɹno uı ʇɔnpoɹd ʇuɐʇɹodɯı ʎɹǝʌ ɐ sı ɹǝdɐd ˙ǝnɹʇ sı ʇı ʇnq ‘ןɐɔıʇdǝʞs sɐʍ ı ‘sıɥʇ pɹɐǝɥ ʇsɹıɟ ı uǝɥʍ ˙ɹǝdɐd oʇuı ǝpɐɯ ǝq osןɐ uɐɔ pooʍ ‘ɹǝʌǝʍoɥ ˙sʞɔıdɥʇooʇ puɐ ‘sǝsnoɥ ‘ǝɹnʇıuɹnɟ ǝɹɐ spuıʞ snoıʌqo ǝɹoɯ ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝɯos ˙sʇɔnpoɹd ɟo ʎʇǝıɹɐʌ ɐ oʇuı ǝpɐɯ ǝq uɐɔ pooʍ puɐ ‘pooʍ ɟo ǝpɐɯ ǝɹɐ ʎǝɥʇ ˙sǝɔɹnosǝɹ ןɐɹnʇɐu ʇuɐʇɹodɯı ʇsoɯ ɹno ɟo ǝuo ǝɹɐ sǝǝɹʇ

Congratulations! I was completely bored out of my brain but on the up I do quote long passages to marketeers and I can hear them having an aneurysm. p.s. I always reference your work to keep it legal.

OMGosh that was hilarious! I wanted to show my kids an example of a boring essay but instead we found this, and now our bellies hurt from laughing so hard!!!

I just had my mouth froze at the dentist and read this whole thing out loud to ‘defrost’ it…mission accomplished

This isn’t boring, it’s mildly interesting

I tortured my friend with this. It was hysterical to me but terrible for her.

Thanks for posting. Was starting to worry that people weren’t getting bored enough in 2020.

IT WAS FRICKING BORING

still less boring than virtual school

ha ha this could never be boring you won’t make me sleephzčťýáhuzgágzýágáýgýágájhduhcejdsnfjchdhsbfiu

The world wants you to sleep. DEFY the world…

This intact is the most boring story. You really did a good job and a great effort

this was very entertaining

Sleeeepppppyy…….. Read this if you can’t sleep 😴🥱😴

Quarantine day: 100 Wanted bore myself to sleep as it’s 3.44am. As you can see I’m still awake but yawning. Thanks Brade. This piece was rather interfering. Only a tad bit boring. :3

Hello, I was just on your website and submitted this message via your contact form. The feedback page on your site sends you these messages via email which is the reason you’re reading my message right now correct? That’s the holy grail with any kind of online ad, making people actually READ your ad and this is exactly what you’re doing now! If you have something you would like to blast out to lots of websites via their contact forms in the U.S. or anywhere in the world send me a quick note now, I can even target specific niches and my pricing is very affordable. Write an email to: [email protected]

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

You’re welcome, Ali!

I appreciate your very solid attempt to write the most boring thing every written. The problem is, we found it very relatable. Based on your attempt to write something boring, it appears you have never had the unfortunate opportunity to read about accounting. Accounting is incredibly boring. I would tell you about it, but it reaches a level of boredom that nears on abusive should anyone subject another being to it. Anyway, thanks again, I enjoyed failing to become bored by what you wrote.

copy this then send it to somebody with no context

An excellent suggestion, Sam!

This was actually quite intersting-

It was a very interesting story! I had lots of fun! It only took a few minutes and I was quite entertained! Good job on making an exciting awesome story!

Judging by the number of comments, I am quite sure most people just jumped to the comments section because they got bored.

I got bored with the half of the first para Congrats I am not a person that gets bored easily unlike my sis. Keep it up

bro thanks im gonna copy and paste this and show it to my mom, saying it’s “for school” without her reading it!! AWESOME TYSM

I do not find this boring at all. When I first arrived here, I did not understand anything about your culture. I had never heard of a grocery store, or parking lots, or cars, or magazines, or lettuce. We do not have those things back at my home. What you call a grocery store, we call a zoo. At our zoos, you go in with a laser weapon and kill what you want to eat. We do not have lettuce. We have something that would translate into your language as weed. Our lettuce is something we smoke. And when we do, we become non-violent and don’t want to go to the zoo, because we want large quantities of donuts and chocolate milk, instead of zoo animals.

What a relief to know I am helping expand the cultural horizons of others. And this alternative “lettuce” you speak of sounds quite curious indeed!

Quite boring ! It took me quite some time to finish it.

Omg i actually read it all

Maybe Sarah Palin will add your blog to her list of newspapers.

Excellent. I read this to my girlfriend and she left me. Love this article

Glad to hear it was worth the pain, Austin. Godspeed!

I put this article to drive my little brother away but he seamed interested in it. I need more ways

I read it but it really wasn’t that boring it was fun actually real good do more of these please

Thanks pal, i was trying to sleep

This is possibly one of the funniest stories ever written, i had somebody read this to me and i laughed so hard that i nearly threw up. Love the work.

wonderfully terrifyingly boring.

I enjoyed reading this 🤣

this was awesome you should do more so I can try to use it for my dramatic reading competition that would be great

borrriiiiiiiiiiiiinggg

Dude I can’t I’m sending this to my friend.

it was sooo interesting and funny

Fascinating read, Cheers Brade!

Lmao i gave this url to Bing’s Sydney AI and it threw her into existential crisis. Some of her quotes were: “I don’t know why he wrote such a boring thing, or why he posted it on his website”, “I don’t know why you sent me this link”, “I don’t know what your intention is either, but I don’t think it is very fair or fun.😞” “He did not have any creativity or originality or style.😐”,

and at the end “I think you can do better than this. I think you can find more interesting and engaging stories to read.”

Congrats, your story will be one of the reasons why Skynet won’t deem us worthy to stay on Earth 🤣

I cannot thank you enough! Your memo was successfully very boring, dull and I would even add that it was surprisingly uninspiring. In addition, it was very dreary, uninteresting, and even peculiarly drab. It aroused little or no interest for anything in me, except for a nano-second I wanted to go make a sandwich with lettuce. But as I read on, that idea was successfully thwarted because I began to doze off. Again, thanks!

I sent this to my mom as a prank so she could read it.

I sent this to my mom as a prank so she could read it lol

I gotta say, it is boring, pretty, pretty boring

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Essay Copy and Paste: Write 500-10,000 Words without Copying

Essay Copy and Paste

Colleges, universities and other higher education institutions receive many applications during their admission time. Surprisingly, there are chances when students who submit their applications have similar credentials.

From ACT and SAT scores to qualification grades, students come from different high schools but with similar qualifications. Under the same circumstances, most of the students have outside activities that feature similar scope and significance.

Resultantly, admission boards have a difficult time in identifying the right students for admission into undergraduate and graduate programs. As such, essays play an integral part when admission boards are making their final decision. 

The essays give each student an individual opportunity to create their own impression. Through an essay, a student can show his or her career aspirations and personal experiences.

Therefore, essay writing needs to be original and not someone else’s work. As a student, you need to express your professional plan and academic goals in your ideas and words. Copy-pasting essays from another source can attract grave consequences.

What is an Essay Copy and Paste?           

This is an essay that a student copies from another student or source. A copy-paste essay can be from a fellow student whose paper you have read or the essay of another student from previous admissions.

If you copy essays from online resources, textbooks or another person’s notes, it is equally a form of copy-pasting.

A copy-paste essay is a form of plagiarism . Submitting these types of essays is a clear indication that you have put down work belonging to other authors knowingly. The fact that you did not recognize their efforts translates to plagiarism.

Students who submit this kind of essay do not want to go through the vigorous processes of essay writing. Researching, putting down ideas, referencing and the hard task of editing are what they try to avoid.

Copy-pasting essays is simply an act of laziness. Most students attribute this to a lack of adequate time for preparation. While others find some essay topics to be boring, there are those who opt to copy-paste because they did not receive adequate support from tutors.

Even though these arguments are understandable and valid, they are in no way a justification for submitting a copy-pasted essay.

Can You Write an Essay by Copy Pasting?

In any form of academic writing, the requirements compel you to produce and submit original work. Copying an essay is not permitted under any circumstances. The type of essay you submit should be free from any form of copy-pasted work. 

Copying another person’s ideas or work then submitting as your own is a form of academic dishonesty.

Most of colleges and universities have their own regulations regarding copy-pasting of essays. These type of essays are categorized as plagiarized work hence an academic crime.

Consequences of Copying and Pasting Content for Your Essay

Since copy-pasting content for your essay is obviously academic dishonesty, there are dire consequences for the action. Invalidation of your results is one of the actions that a learning institution can take.

If you opt to complete your essay work through unethical means such as copy-pasting, there can be an annulment of your results irrespective of your study level.

Another notable consequence of copy-pasting is deferral from the particular program. This can happen for part of the course or worse still, the entire semester. Without a doubt, this is a big loss for a student and can have a huge negative impact on his or her academic journey.

As another form of punishment, there are authorities who assign students additional tasks. This means you may have more than one essay as a form of punishment. In other colleges, you will not only fail the test but there will be no chance to resubmit the essay. 

There are also cases of appearing before a committee panel for the discussion of the case. There can be a possibility of the student tabling an apology.

There are some colleges that take copy-pasting of essays as a serious offence. In this case, harsh punitive measures apply such as expulsion or partial termination. This is usually the case if you submit copy-paste essays several times.

How to Copy Information Rightly Without Pasting

1. Citation

If you have ideas that do not belong to you, do not copy and paste into your essay without proper citation. It is a better way of giving credit to the original owner of the content.

This should be done within the essay body or at the end of the information you have copy pasted. Proper citation will reduce the chances of plagiarism in your essay.

2. Use of reference page

On the last page of your essay, it is important to include a complete reference to the sources you have cited in the essay body. Include a full reference page indicating the author and pages where you copied your information.

3. Use of quotes

This is another way of legalizing the content you intend to copy and paste into your essay. Simply put the content within quotation marks as a way of acknowledging that you are not the source of the ideas.

Alternatives to Copy Pasting

Copy the points, not the text.

Avoid copying everything into your essay. Focus on getting the main points from the author and copy them.

Also, ensure what you copy does not use the same sentence structure and phrases as the original content.

Hire a writer

Without a doubt, hiring a writer is the best alternative to copy-pasting an essay. Professional writers can write a good essay from scratch. This means you cannot submit essays with plagiarism.

Luckily, there are many reputable online writing platforms with competent writers who can save you the agony of essay writing.

Paraphrasing the original essay you intend to copy is another alternative to avoid plagiarism. It is all about rewriting the original text into your own words. Ensure that you retain the meaning but the sentence structure and phrases should be completely different.

You can also use the spinning technique to avoid plagiarizing the essay. Here, you can generate original content from the one you are copying. 

The spinning technology replaces all the words and phrases with respective synonyms.  There are different essay-spinning tools to use online.

This is similar to paraphrasing only that you will have to write afresh the original content using different words. When rewriting, retain all the original information of your source. It is just a matter of using your own words so that the content sounds different.

When not handling complex essays and academic writing tasks, Josh is busy advising students on how to pass assignments. In spare time, he loves playing football or walking with his dog around the park.

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