difference between empathy and sympathy essay

The Difference Between Empathy And Sympathy

Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc

Associate Editor for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education

Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.

Learn about our Editorial Process

Saul Mcleod, PhD

Editor-in-Chief for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester

Saul Mcleod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Sympathy and empathy are two closely related but distinct emotions. Sympathy involves feeling sorry or pity for someone, whereas empathy involves understanding and sharing someone’s feelings. Sympathy is more of an external expression of emotion, while empathy is an internal emotional response.

Simply put, sympathy is feeling for someone, while empathy is feeling with someone. Understanding the difference between these two emotions can help us communicate and connect with others on a deeper level.

Definitions

The words sympathy, empathy, and compassion are closely related terms that are often used interchangeably.

However, they are different. The definitions of these terms often demonstrate different aspects of intersubjective experience.

• Sympathy is an emotion experienced in reaction to something that happens to others. When someone understands what another person is going through and feels sorrow or pity toward them, this is sympathy. 
• Empathy is the ability to intimately feel and see another’s suffering, not just through understanding what they are going through but by being able to put themselves in another’s shoes. When expressing empathy, a person may use their personal experience to relate to another’s suffering. 
• Compassion means ‘to suffer together,’ which is an expression of caring and warmth. Someone who expresses compassion recognizes the pain in another person and is motivated to help them. 

What’s the difference between Empathy and Sympathy?

While sympathy and empathy are often used interchangeably, there are crucial differences that lead to different outcomes. 

Emotion is the main difference

While sympathy means that someone understands someone else’s suffering, it is more cognitive and keeps a certain distance between the sufferer and the listener.

Being able to emphasize means being able to experience another’s feelings. It requires an emotional component of really feeling what the other person is feeling. 

Difference in levels of understanding

Another difference between empathy and sympathy lies in the desire to understand the experience of a person who is suffering, not necessarily in the drive to stop their suffering.

Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions of another person. In contrast, sympathy is often utilized when a person does not necessarily relate to or fully understand the circumstances that someone is suffering. 

Sympathy does not translate as understanding since the listener may shift focus away from the person in distress to focus on themselves instead. 

The relationship matters

With empathy and sympathy, there is often a difference in the relationship between the listener and the sufferer. 

In certain settings, such as when a co-worker or boss is suffering from loss, sympathy may be more appropriate to maintain particular social dynamics when there is not an intimate connection. 

However, if a lifelong friend experiences a loss, sending a card or flowers may be inadequate. Empathy is usually expected more when the relationship between the sufferer and listener is close and strong. 

Sympathy drives disconnection

Empathy is thought to drive connection, while sympathy is thought to drive disconnection, according to social psychologist Brené Brown.

Thus, while empathy brings people together and builds on strong connections, sympathy can create a divide between people. 

Sympathetic statements such as ‘I’m sorry you feel like that’ or ‘It could have been worse’ can come across as patronizing.

Likewise, statements such as ‘I feel bad for you’ can come across as pitying, which can make the sufferer feel unsupported. 

How do sympathy and empathy relate to compassion?

It is thought that empathy and sympathy can be sensations and open expressions of compassion.

This is based on the condition that empathy and sympathy come from a place of sincerity. 

Compassion and empathy are fueled by an understanding of another human’s emotions. They both come with a desire and ability to connect to someone else and experience their pain.

Compassion, which arises from sincere empathy, can come from sharing similar experiences of suffering with another person.

Equally, compassion, which arises from sympathy, can be just as useful. For instance, someone may research and thus be knowledgeable on the types of abuse people can suffer.

They can then use this to increase their sympathy for people who have been abused , regardless of whether they have ever experienced abuse themselves.

Compassion often goes a step further as someone recognizes the pain in another and is motivated to help them, even if they cannot relate to the pain on a personal level.

To be able to extend emotions beyond an individual’s own personal experience is useful since this compassion allows humans to be motivated to reduce the pain that they have not personally experienced. 

Actively promoting compassion can allow a listener in one situation to be a force for change in many others. Compassionate people can be socially impactful and ignite activism in the service of a cause that one cares about.

Types of Empathy

There are thought to be three parts to empathy that should be increased to become a better empathetic listener. These are: cognitive empathy, emotive empathy, and empathic action. 

Cognitive empathy

This is the thinking part of empathy and a good starting point for becoming a better empathetic listener. This is where one can imagine themselves in the distressing situation of another and think about what that would feel like.

However, if this part is used without the following two parts of empathy, this may only become sympathy.

Emotive empathy

This is the feeling part of empathy. With emotive empathy, an individual stands alongside the person who is suffering and feels distressed with them. This is not feeling from a place outside or apart from the person, but together with them.

Empathic action

This is often the part that is difficult for many to cultivate. Empathic action often means sitting in silence and not doing anything. Many people may default to offering someone advice, solutions, or a diversion to ease their suffering; however, empathy is the opposite.

Acting on empathy by offering an empathic presence to someone is one of the most powerful actions there is. 

How to increase empathy to be an empathetic listener

Below are some other tips for cultivating empathy:

Actively listen

When someone actively listens , they are not just listening to the words that are being said.

They are paying close attention to what the other person is saying, getting a sense of the feelings that the speaker is expressing, and looking out for non-verbal cues. 

Listen patiently instead of focusing on what the response should be. When the person is finished speaking, take a moment to process the information before responding. 

Understand what the other person needs

Resist the urge to leap to conclusions about what someone needs when they tell you what they are going through. 

Use listening skills to figure out what they need, but if this is unclear, it is better to ask the other person what they need rather than provide the wrong kind of support. 

Repeating back to someone what was heard is a good way to find out what someone needs.

For instance, saying, ‘What I am hearing is that you don’t feel valued when X happens, is that right?’ can get to the point of what the other person needs. 

Prioritize emotional intelligence 

Those who have high emotional intelligence tend to be more self-aware, are better able to manage themselves, are aware of social cues, and are more capable of managing relationships.

Practicing ways of being more emotionally intelligent can therefore go hand-in-hand with being an empathic listener. 

What not to do

• Avoid asking direct questions, arguing with what is being said, and disputing facts. This can only drive a barrier between the listener and the sufferer. Instead, fully concentrate on what is being said and how the speaker feels
• Do not give your own judgments and opinions unless the speaker has asked for them. Let go of these and focus on the other person’s perspective. The listener does not need to agree with everything the other person says. Rather, it is about letting the speaker know that they are cared for and that they matter.
• Do not be afraid of silence in the conversation. Sometimes all someone needs is to feel heard and to know that the other person is there to listen. The speaker may be considering what to say next or may need a few silent moments to process their emotions. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Which is stronger: sympathy or empathy.

Sympathy is essentially telling someone, ‘I know how you feel,’ whereas empathy is saying, ‘I feel how you feel.’

Empathy is deeper and more intense than sympathy. It is about acknowledging a person’s feelings and genuinely imaging and trying to feel what it’s like to be in their situation. 

Can you be empathetic without being sympathetic?

Empathy is the ability to feel someone else’s emotions, whereas sympathy means feeling and/or showing a reaction such as sorrow or pity. 

In the same way that sympathy can occur without empathy, it is possible to understand another person’s emotions without being sympathetic. For example, someone who is a narcissist may be able to perceive what others are feeling but lack the sympathy to care about another person. 

Is empathy the same as altruism?

These two terms are related emotions; therefore, many tend to consider them as the same thing. However, someone who is altruistic can practice selfless concern for others’ welfare.

It is the charitable emotion to help others without expecting anything in return. Empathy, on the other hand, is the ability to understand another’s emotions and to share their feelings. 

Empathy and altruism are related since both trigger acts of generosity in someone towards another. Empathy can also be the reason why someone is altruistic. 

What is a dark empath?

Not all empaths have good intentions. Someone who is a dark empath is highly attuned to others’ emotions, but they use their empathic abilities as a weapon.

A dark empath knows how to connect with another person but can use their knowledge to manipulate or take advantage of another person. 

A dark empath can give a false sense of trust to others when first getting to know them since they can portray their empathy in a positive light. This can lead to others thinking highly of them since they clearly show displays of empathy.

This makes it more dangerous later down the line when the dark empath uses their empathy to manipulate others for personal gain, but it may not be recognized until others get hurt.  

Can you have compassion without empathy? 

Compassion is not the same as empathy, although the concepts are related. Empathy refers more generally to the ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, whereas compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help.

It is possible to display kindness and compassion for practical reasons without any real empathy for others’ suffering. Someone may have the desire to help people in need without attaching deeper emotions and understanding of the suffering they are going through. 

What is more important: empathy or compassion? 

Empathy and compassion are needed in everyday life, especially when interacting with others. Without them, it can be difficult to maintain healthy relationships.

Empathy and compassion can help people to exhibit kind and loving behavior toward people they care about, which helps reinforce relationships.  

As previously mentioned, dark empaths and narcissists can use empathy to manipulate others. A time when empathy may be dangerous on its own is when it comes to leadership .

In times of crisis, having a leader who is only empathetic may understand others’ suffering, but this does not mean they will do anything about it. Being a compassionate leader, on the other hand, can cultivate positive change and unify people. 

References 

Breyer, T. (2020). Empathy, sympathy and compassion. In  The Routledge handbook of phenomenology of emotion  (pp. 429-440). Routledge.

Brown, B., Davis, K., Stephenson, A., & Francis-Sears, A. (2013). Brené Brown on empathy.

Heym, N., Kibowski, F., Bloxsom, C. A., Blanchard, A., Harper, A., Wallace, L., Firth, J. & Sumich, A. (2021). The Dark Empath: Characterising dark traits in the presence of empathy.  Personality and individual differences ,  169 , 110172.

Jeffrey, D. (2016). Empathy, sympathy and compassion in healthcare: Is there a problem? Is there a difference? Does it matter?.  Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine ,  109 (12), 446-452.

Salem, R. (2003). Empathic listening.  Beyond intractability . 

Further information

An animated video that discusses the differences between sympathy and empathy, narrated by Dr Brené Brown

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Sympathy vs. Empathy: What's the Difference?

Sympathy is understanding someone's emotions and empathy is feeling them.

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

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Sympathy vs. Empathy

Which is better—empathy or sympathy.

• Are Compassion and Empathy the Same Thing?

How to Be More Sympathetic and Empathetic

We often come across the words empathy and sympathy when talking about how we feel. However, sympathy involves understanding someone’s emotions from our perspective and empathy involves feeling their emotions from their perspective.

Although both words are used in situations that involve emotions, they cannot be used interchangeably as they have different meanings.

This article explores the traits, differences, examples and common questions about sympathy and empathy.

The main difference between sympathy and empathy is how we express and experience our emotions toward someone’s situation. 

According to the American Psychology Association Dictionary of Psychology, the definitions of sympathy and empathy are as follows:

• Sympathy : “feelings of concern or compassion resulting from an awareness of the suffering or sorrow of another.”
• Empathy : “understanding a person from his or her frame of reference rather than one’s own, or vicariously experiencing that person’s feelings, perceptions, and thoughts."

How to Remember the Difference

An easy way to remember what sympathy refers to is to think of the greeting card section at a store. You feel bad for someone who is going through a hard time and you express your condolences with a sympathy card.

In other words, you aren’t putting yourself in their position and imagining yourself struggling with their situation. Therefore, it is possible to have sympathy but not empathy.

Surface vs. Deep Level Understanding 

When we sympathize with someone’s unfortunate situation, we feel bad for them. We have thoughts and feelings about what they are going through but we don’t have a deep understanding of how they are feeling.

Empathizing with someone’s circumstances means we are taking the time, effort, and mental space to fully appreciate and understand how they feel. 

Understanding From Our vs. Their Perspective

Sympathy means hearing someone’s bad news, sharing our feelings about it, and saying sorry.

When we practice empathy, we dive into the depth of their emotions and envision ourselves in their situation. It’s not about how we feel about their experience but rather we are putting ourselves in their shoes, pretending to go through what they’re going through and feeling their feelings.

For instance, if your friend tells you that their dog recently passed away, you sympathize by saying “I’m sorry for your loss.” 

But if you were to empathize, you would imagine yourself losing a beloved pet and feeling the grief and loss that come with that experience.

Fun Fact: Where Did These Words Originate?

The words sympathy and empathy share the same suffix, “-pathy” which originates from the Greek word “pathos.” Pathos refers to “emotions, feelings, or passion."

Judgement vs. Non-Judgement

Sympathy involves a superficial understanding of someone’s situation; therefore, it is easy to pass judgment. Empathy allows a person to explore another person’s thoughts and feelings which helps them remove judgment.

For instance, if your sibling mentions they are getting a divorce, you sympathize by saying, “That’s terrible. It’s going to be hard on my nephew. He’s going grow up in a broken home.”

An empathetic response would be, “Let me know if you want to talk about it. I’ll be here for you through it all.”

Unsolicited Advice vs. Active Listening

Sympathizing does not involve feeling someone’s emotions; therefore, when we hear about their problem, we immediately feel the urge to fix it because we pity them. We suppress our own emotions. We don’t know exactly what they are going through and it’s easier to focus on the solution rather than validate their experiences.

When we empathize with a close one, we connect deeply to their experience. We ask questions to understand, practice active listening, read their facial expressions and body language and behave sensitively to their needs.

Neither is better; it depends on the context and knowing when to use empathy or sympathy. Both empathy and sympathy are needed for emotional and mental well-being. 

When to Show Empathy

Empathy is essential for building deep and meaningful relationships with others. If you are unable to understand another person’s perspective, it can be challenging to effectively communicate and problem-solve together. 

For instance, if you and your partner are fighting, it can be difficult to resolve the conflict if you are unable to empathize with their point of view. Instead of working as a team toward a solution, you focus on trying to convince the other that you are right which creates a bigger divide in the relationship.

Empathy Fatigue

However, empathy fatigue can occur if you are overly concerned and constantly feel the feelings of others. Your energy becomes depleted and you may feel numb, burnt out, powerless, and less compassionate. You are at an increased risk of empathic distress.

When to Show Sympathy

In the age of mobile phones and social media, we are bombarded with distressing news at our fingertips; it’s easy to become overwhelmed by what’s happening in the world.

Sympathy allows us to learn and stay informed about global issues without being emotionally consumed.

Sympathy has been shown to be associated with moral and prosocial behaviors such as cooperation, sharing, low discrimination, supporting, helping, and protecting others.

Are Compassion and Empathy the Same Thing? 

Compassion and empathy is also terms that are often used interchangeably. Both involve having an understanding of someone’s emotions, connecting deeply, listening without judgment, being patient, and showing respect; however, there is a subtle difference between them. 

Compassion Involves Taking Action

Unlike empathy which is merely about feeling the emotions of others, compassion creates a desire to help others and involves taking action. You want to help relieve their pain and suffering because you truly empathize with their situation.

For instance, your friend is going through cancer treatment. You have compassion by helping them run errands, driving them to their appointments, and being mindful and sensitive about their needs.

Sympathy and empathy are important for relationship-building and mental wellness. Here are some tips to practice these skills to help you be more sympathetic and empathetic:

• Learn how to read non-verbal cues
• Instead of jumping to giving unsolicited advice, put yourself in their situation and try to imagine what they need
• Practice active listening , ask questions, and work on understanding how another person feels
• Self-reflect on how your conditions shaped your beliefs, values, judgments, and perspectives
• Emotionally validate someone’s concerns
• Learn about your own emotions and how to identify them

Therefore, there is a clear difference between sympathy and empathy. While neither is better, it’s important to know when to use each of these emotional tools depending on the situation. 

If you are having a difficult time managing your emotions and connecting with others, therapy can help you work through your emotions, build stronger relationships, improve communication skills, and increase emotional awareness.

APA Dictionary of Psychology. Sympathy .

APA Dictionary of Psychology. Empathy .

Merriam-Webster Dictionary. What’s the difference between “sympathy” and “empathy”?

Chikovani G, Babuadze L, Iashvili N, Gvalia T, Surguladze S. Empathy costs: Negative emotional bias in high empathisers. Psychiatry Research. 2015;229(1–2):340–346.

Yang H, Yang S. Sympathy fuels creativity: The beneficial effects of sympathy on originality. Thinking Skills and Creativity. 2016;21:132–143.

By Katharine Chan, MSc, BSc, PMP Katharine is the author of three books (How To Deal With Asian Parents, A Brutally Honest Dating Guide and A Straight Up Guide to a Happy and Healthy Marriage) and the creator of 60 Feelings To Feel: A Journal To Identify Your Emotions. She has over 15 years of experience working in British Columbia's healthcare system.

What's the difference between 'sympathy' and 'empathy'?

What to Know Sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful. Empathy involves actively sharing in the person’s emotional experience.

Sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone. Empathy involves stepping into that person's shoes to actively share in their emotional experience.

Sympathy vs. Empathy Difference

Sympathy and empathy both involve feelings of concern for someone, but empathy goes beyond a feeling of concern to include an active sharing in the suffering person’s emotional experience. To illustrate the distinction we present a sad dramatic scenario:

The oven’s failure when Harry the Dog was so close to perfecting his souffle recipe was terrible. Mabel the Cat could see that he was absolutely crestfallen, and offered her sympathy: “Harry,” she said, “I’m so sorry about your oven, and at this particular moment.” “I appreciate your sympathy, Mabel,” he replied. “But I wish you had some empathy—though you’re not a baker, so I understand it’s perhaps impossible.”

Mabel feels and expresses sympathy—that is, a feeling of sincere concern for Harry, who is having a difficult time. But Harry would really like Mabel to show some empathy—that is, to show that she actively shares in his emotional experience.

“Oh Harry,” said Mabel, “I’ve seen you mixing and stirring and baking late into the night for days now and I could sense how close you were to your goal. I was cheering your progress with you. I do, in fact, empathize with you.”

You’ll all be relieved to know that in this fictional world an oven repair is forthcoming.

‘Sym’ means “with”—so why is ‘empathy’ the word about feeling with someone?

We’re glad you asked. The answer is, well, complicated.

Sympathy and empathy share a common root: the Greek noun páthos , meaning “experience, misfortune, emotion, condition.” Sympathy , which has been in use since the 16th century, comes a Greek word that combined páthos with syn-/sym- , meaning “with; together with.”

Empathy was modeled on sympathy ; it was coined in the early 20th century as a translation of the German word Einfühlung (“feeling-in” or “feeling into”), and was first applied in contexts of philosophy, aesthetics, and psychology—and specifically not in general contexts involving such quotidian things as disappointing ovens.

( Páthos also gave us the word pathos , which refers to the evocation of pity or compassion, especially in a work of art or literature.)

So why is it that sympathy comes from páthos plus something that means “with,” but empathy is the word the refers to an active sharing in someone else’s emotional experience?

Well, it’s because empathy stole that job from sympathy . That’s right: from the time when sympathy came on the scene in the 16th century all the way until the mid 20th century, sympathy was the go-to word for the active sharing in someone else’s emotional experience.

She literally wept with those who wept, while in tones of peculiar love, sincerity, and firmness, she lauded them for their noble daring, and freely expressed her entire sympathy with them, and likewise with all in the prison-house. — William Still, The Underground Railroad , 1872 As he mellowed into his plaintive history his tears dripped upon the lantern in his lap, and I cried, too, from sympathy . — Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi , 1883 … when Mrs. Jennings considered that Marianne might probably be to her what Charlotte was to herself, her sympathy in her sufferings was very sincere. —Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility , 1811 There was a caress in the soft winds; and the whole mood of the darkness, he thought, was one of sympathy for himself in his distress. —Stephen Crane, The Red Badge of Courage , 1895

When empathy was coined in the early 20th century, it referred to something quite different: the act of imagining one’s own ideas, feelings, or attitudes as fully inhabiting something one is observing, such as a work of art or a natural occurrence. Someone experiencing empathy in this sense was actively projecting their own feelings onto someone or something else—often experiencing a bodily sensation in response to a dance, a painting, a sunset—or a wrestling match.

Most of you have gone to a grunt and groan wrestling match. Get a picture of two fuzzy-chested, mobile-muscled mammoths tugging at each other. Haven't you found yourself helping—twisting and turning in your seat, trying to break the hold? That is empathy —you have by imagination become a wrestler and crawled into the ring. — The Academic Department of the Infantry School, The Infantry School Mailing List , October 1946

This now-technical use persisted, and sympathy and empathy were contrasted accordingly:

The act or capacity of entering into or sharing the feelings of another is known as sympathy . Empathy , on the other hand, not only is an identification of sorts but also connotes an awareness of one's separateness from the observed. One of the most difficult tasks put upon man is reflective commitment to another's problem while maintaining his own identity. — Journal of the American Medical Association , 24 May 1958 A fuller account would clearly require empathy as well as sympathy —a leap of imagination into Leadbelly's racial conflicts that would almost certainly have been facilitated by more candid interviews with surviving African-American witnesses as well as the personal experience of racial bias. —Robert Christgau, The New York Times Book Review , 17 Jan. 1993 Empathy has become a fad word for sympathy , though it was adopted expressly to mean something different from sympathy : 'intellectual insight into another's emotional state without sharing in it.' —John H. Dirckx, The Language of Medicine (2nd Ed.), 1993

By the mid-20th century, however, empathy had developed the meaning we now know today: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.

But the letters show, as he repeats stories told to him by participants in battle, the kind of imaginative empathy that makes him fully deserve his reputation as a war poet. —Monroe K. Spears, American Ambitions , 1987 Criticism, like fiction, was an act of empathy for Ray, putting yourself in the other guy's shoes. —Jay McInerney, The New York Times Book Review , 6 Aug. 1989

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Sympathy vs. Empathy | Explained

3-minute read

• 1st September 2023

Are you sympathetic to someone’s feelings…or are you empathetic? Or do they mean the same thing? If you find sympathy vs. empathy confusing – don’t worry! We’re here to help.

While sympathy and empathy both relate to connection and understanding (and are sometimes even used interchangeably), they actually mean different things. In this post, we’ll explain the difference between sympathy and empathy , as well as how both relate to compassion .

The Definition of Sympathy

Sympathy is the act of recognizing and acknowledging another person’s feelings , even if you haven’t personally experienced them yourself. Essentially, being sympathetic means expressing care and concern for someone’s well-being (such as offering comfort during times of hardship), although you can’t directly relate to what that person is experiencing.

For example, it’s possible to be sympathetic toward, and console, a friend who has lost an important tennis match, even if you’ve never played sports yourself or were personally impacted by her loss.

Look at these examples:

The Definition of Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings and perspectives of another person. It goes beyond sympathy (which requires acknowledging someone’s emotions) and involves actually feeling what the other person is feeling.

However, empathy is more than just relating to someone on an emotional level ( emotional empathy ): there is also a cognitive element.

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Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand someone else’s point of view and grasp their emotions without necessarily feeling them on a personal level. In other words, it allows you to mentally step into someone else’s shoes, see the situation from their perspective, and understand what they’re thinking and feeling.

Here’s how to use empathy in a sentence:

Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion

Compassion is related to both empathy and sympathy – it’s a genuine concern for the well-being of others, which is often accompanied by a desire to alleviate their suffering or difficulties. Compassion goes beyond acknowledging someone’s struggles and compels action. Here’s an example to illustrate:

To summarize sympathy vs. empathy . vs. compassion : Sympathy is acknowledging another’s emotions, empathy is understanding and sharing another’s feelings and perspectives, and compassion is a deep concern for others’ well-being, resulting in action to alleviate their difficulties or suffering.

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Empathy vs. Sympathy: What’s the Difference?

Home » Empathy vs. Sympathy: What’s the Difference?

Writers oftentimes confuse the two words empathy and sympathy. They are usually used in similar contexts, a death in the family, a job loss, a robbery, etc., but they aren’t the same and have different meanings. So in order to keep our writing precise, we should be careful not to mix either of them up.

Today I want to illustrate the differences between empathy vs. sympathy, showcase their uses in a sentence, and give you some tips to keep track of them. After reading this post, you shouldn’t have any more trouble with these two words.

When to Use Empathy

• I have empathy for those families who lost their house in the storm. A tornado once destroyed my house.
• Having been late to work many times himself, the boss had empathy on the employee who was late.

Empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand that person’s situation. In the example above, the boss, having been late to work himself, had empathy for and understood why the employee was late for work.

Empathy is the newer of the two words, with its first use recorded in 1895. Sympathy, on the other hand, has a first recorded use in the late 1500s.

When to Use Sympathy

• I offered my sympathy to the grieving mother.
• Their sympathy for the victims led them to donate.

So you can clearly see the difference between the two words. Sympathy is a compassion and sorrow one feels for another, but empathy is more focused around personally identifying with or projecting oneself into another’s situation.

You may feel bad for the person who was just laid off from their job, but if you have never been laid off yourself, you cannot have empathy for him or her. You can feel sorry, have compassion, and give them sympathy, but you can’t have empathy for their situation.

Empathize vs. Sympathize

This same thought process underlines the two verb forms of empathy and sympathy, empathize and sympathize. Empathize denotes a stronger, more personal sense of shared feeling than does sympathize.

This doesn’t mean, however, that you cannot use sympathy or sympathize to describe “sharing or understanding the feelings of another.” The word sympathize is 300 years empathy’s senior with this meaning. You can share or even understand the pain someone is going through without going through it yourself.

Empathy, and by extension empathize, is the power of projecting one’s personality into (and so fully comprehending) the object of contemplation. It is much more personal and specific than sympathy.

To give another example, I may sympathize with the person whose house was just burglarized because I can understand how vulnerable it must make one feel, but I cannot have empathy because my house has never been robbed.

Remember the Difference

Here are two tricks to remember which of these words is which:

You can remember that sympathy deals with sorrows and feeling sorry for someone because it starts with an “ S .”

Similarly, you can remember that empathy is more personal and requires you to put yourself in that person’s shoes. Sho e s and e mpathy both have an “ E ” in them.

The two words sympathy vs. empathy cause a bit of confusion in people’s writing, but they have different meanings.

Empathy is more specific and personal than sympathy. It involves personally putting yourself in that persons shoes and knowing what they are going through.

Sympathy is a more general feeling or sorrow for another person’s situation.

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• Empathy vs Sympathy | Difference & Examples

Empathy vs. Sympathy | Difference & Examples

Published on 25 July 2022 by Eoghan Ryan . Revised on 14 February 2023.

Empathy and sympathy are related words that differ in meaning. Though they’re often used interchangeably, they differ in the kind of emotional involvement they describe.

• Empathy is a noun describing the ability to relate to another person’s feelings by imagining yourself in their situation.
• Sympathy is a noun describing compassion for another person who is facing difficult circumstances or negative feelings. It suggests that you feel pity for someone but don’t necessarily fully understand their feelings.

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Table of contents

The meaning of empathy, ‘sympathy’ to mean compassion, ‘sympathy’ to mean ‘unity’, ‘sympathy’ to mean ‘loyalty’, ‘my (deepest) sympathies’, worksheet: sympathy vs empathy, other interesting language articles.

Empathy refers to the ability to imaginatively experience another person’s emotions or thoughts. The emphasis is on relating to another person’s feelings, whether intellectually or by connecting them to your own experiences: putting yourself in their shoes.

The verb form of empathy is empathise , meaning ‘to experience empathy for someone or something’. It’s commonly followed by the preposition ‘with’. The adjectival form of empathy is empathetic (or sometimes empathic ).

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Sympathy is typically used to describe compassion or pity for another person’s negative feelings or circumstances. It suggests that you feel bad for them, but not necessarily that you fully understand their feelings (though it doesn’t exclude this possibility).

The verb form of sympathy is sympathise , meaning ‘to experience sympathy for someone or something’. It’s commonly followed by the word ‘with’. The adjectival form of sympathy is sympathetic .

Sympathy can also be used to describe something as working in harmony or in unity with other components. It’s preceded by the word ‘in’. Sometimes an adjective is added between the words for emphasis.

Sympathy can also be used to describe a state of loyalty or a tendency to support a certain idea or group. In this context, it’s written in the plural form.

My sympathies is an expression commonly used to offer condolences to someone experiencing loss or grief. My deepest sympathies is a common variation of the expression. Either expression can be used on its own or as part of a sentence.

Do you want to test your knowledge of the difference between ’empathy’ and ‘sympathy’? Use the practice worksheet below! Fill in a form of ’empathy’ or ‘sympathy’ in each of the sentences.

• Practice questions
• Answers and explanations
• Sandra’s parents are also divorced, so she feels a lot of _______ for Dajana.
• Tyra has a lot of _______ for people struggling with poverty. She donates a third of her income to charity.
• To _______ with someone is to imaginatively experience their feelings.
• The townspeople worked in _______ with each other to extinguish the fire.
• I have neither Republican nor Democratic _______.
• I expressed my deepest _______ to the widow.
• Here, ’empathy’ is the more appropriate option, showing that Sandra can understand Amy’s feelings because of a similar experience in her own life.
• Here, ‘sympathy’ makes the most sense . Tyra feels compassion for the people she’s trying to help, but there’s no suggestion that she knows what it feels like to be in their situation.
• The present verb form of ’empathy’ is ’empathize’.
• Here, ‘in sympathy’ is used to mean ‘in harmony’ or ‘in unity’.
• Here, ‘sympathies’ is used to mean ‘loyalties’ or ‘allegiances’.
• ‘My sympathies’ and ‘my deepest sympathies’ are common expressions used to offer condolences to someone experiencing loss.

If you want to know more about commonly confused words , definitions , and differences between US and UK spellings , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

Confused words

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• Further vs farther
• Loose vs lose
• Whose vs who’s

Definitions

• Bear with me
• Presumptuous

US vs. UK spellings

• Burned or burnt
• Canceled or cancelled
• Dreamt or dreamed
• Gray or grey
• Theater vs theatre

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The Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy

One often leads to the other, but not always..

Posted May 22, 2015 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

• The Importance of Empathy
• Find a therapist near me
• Sympathy is a reaction to the plight of others.
• Empathy means sharing another person's emotions.
• Compassion is more engaged than simple empathy because it involves an active desire to relieve the other person's suffering.

[Article revised on 18 October 2022 . ]

In 1909, the psychologist Edward Titchener translated the German Einfühlung (‘feeling into’) into English as ‘empathy’. Empathy can be defined as a person’s ability to recognize and share the emotions of another person, fictional character, or sentient being. It involves, first, seeing someone else’s situation from his perspective, and, second, sharing his emotions, including, if any, his distress.

For me to share in someone else’s perspective, I must do more than merely put myself into his position. Instead, I must imagine myself as him, and, more than that, imagine myself as him in the particular situation in which he finds himself. I cannot empathize with an abstract or detached feeling. To empathize with a particular person, I need to have at least some knowledge of who he is and what he is doing or trying to do. As John Steinbeck wrote, ‘It means very little to know that a million Chinese are starving unless you know one Chinese who is starving.’

Empathy is often confused with pity, sympathy, and compassion, which are each reactions to the plight of others. Pity is a feeling of discomfort at the distress of one or more sentient beings and often has paternalistic or condescending overtones. Implicit in the notion of pity is that its object does not deserve its plight, and, moreover, is unable to prevent, reverse, or overturn it. Pity is less engaged than empathy, sympathy, or compassion, amounting to little more than a conscious acknowledgment of the plight of its object.

Sympathy (‘fellow feeling’, ‘community of feeling’) is a feeling of care and concern for someone, often someone close, accompanied by a wish to see him better off or happier. Compared to pity, sympathy implies a greater sense of shared similarities together with a more profound personal engagement. However, sympathy, unlike empathy, does not involve a shared perspective or shared emotions, and while the facial expressions of sympathy do convey caring and concern, they do not convey shared distress. Sympathy and empathy often lead to each other, but not always. For instance, it is possible to sympathize with such things as hedgehogs and ladybirds, but not, strictly speaking, to empathize with them. Conversely, psychopaths with absolutely no sympathy for their victims can nonetheless make use of empathy to ensnare or torture them. Sympathy should also be distinguished from benevolence, which is a much more detached and impartial attitude.

Compassion, or "suffering alongside" someone, is more engaged than simple empathy and is associated with an active desire to alleviate the suffering of its object. With empathy, I share your emotions; with compassion, I not only share your emotions but also elevate them into a universal and transcending experience. Compassion, which builds upon empathy, is one of the main motivators of altruism .

Neel Burton is author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions .

Facebook image: Drazen Zigic/Shutterstock

Neel Burton, M.D. , is a psychiatrist, philosopher, and writer who lives and teaches in Oxford, England.

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Understanding the difference between sympathy and empathy

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Empathy vs sympathy: key characteristics

What's the difference between empathy vs. sympathy?

4 ways to practice empathy

What can seem like empathy but isn’t?

Compassion vs. Empathy

Empathy and sympathy are two terms that are often used interchangeably. But only one of them allows people to connect deeper than surface level.

From a high level, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, involving a deep emotional connection. Sympathy is expressing care and concern for someone's feelings without necessarily sharing those emotions yourself, focusing more on compassion and support.

But what are the more nuanced differences between empathy and sympathy? And which should you practice when?

Let’s explore how empathy and sympathy differ and why one of them is a better tool to help you connect with others at work and in life.

Empathy vs sympathy: key characteristics 

Understanding the differences between empathy and sympathy can help you choose the most appropriate one given your circumstances. While empathy supports a deeper connection, there are times when a sympathetic response is more fitting.

To clarify, here is an overview empathy and sympathy and some examples of each.

What is empathy? 

• Feeling what someone else feels
• Actively listening to what they have to say
• Not judging
• Being aware of nuances and non-verbal cues
• Discovering their perspective
• Acknowledging everyone's feelings

Empathy is the ability to understand and share a person’s feelings. If you’re an empathetic person, you can listen to what someone else has to say without judgment.

This ability to connect is not limited by your own experiences. An empathetic person can feel someone else’s emotions, regardless of their personal experiences.

You’re able to discover their perspective with awareness of non-verbal cues. You’re also able to simply listen without feeling forced to provide unwanted advice.

Plus, you can acknowledge everyone’s feelings in a given situation. This is particularly helpful in leadership positions . Looking at the bigger picture can help make more informed decisions.

Practicing empathy, instead of sympathy only, can help you get the emotional clarity you need to build upon important relationships. It can let you see another point of view.

Having empathy can also help you to   improve your communication skills.   That’s because you’re able to listen fully to others and understand their perspectives.

In fact, research shows that empathy can even   help sustain cooperation during social dilemmas.   Other studies have found that in a service setting,   empathy can reduce discrimination and unethical behavior.

This is important to   foster a happier, healthier workplace   and   build a sense of belonging.

What is sympathy?

• Having thoughts about what someone feels
• When in conversation, giving unasked advice
• Passing judgment
• Only noticing the surface level issue
• Understanding only from your perspective
• Ignoring or suppressing your own emotions

Unlike empathy, practicing sympathy doesn’t mean you feel what someone else feels. Instead, you feel pity or sorry for someone else’s feelings.

You feel bad for someone, but you don’t understand how they feel.

A sympathetic approach only provides a surface-level understanding of someone else’s situation. This understanding is typically from your perspective, not theirs.

Sympathy can also lead someone to give unsolicited advice to help the other person deal with their emotions.

When offering this advice, it's common for sympathetic people to pass judgment. Unlike empathy, it’s still possible to pass judgment with sympathy.

What's the difference between empathy vs. sympathy? 

Both empathy and sympathy share the suffix   pathy.   This suffix comes from the Greek word   pathos.

Pathos can mean several things. It can mean “emotion” or “feelings.” But it can also mean “suffering.”

This means that both empathy and sympathy   deal with emotions . However, there’s one big difference between empathy and sympathy.

Empathy involves feeling what someone else feels, while sympathy doesn’t. Sympathy instead involves understanding someone else’s emotions but from your own perspective.

Empathy vs sympathy examples

Let’s look at empathy vs sympathy in similar situations.

First, imagine someone in your place of work was just reprimanded. As a result, they feel sad, nervous, and disappointed in themselves.

If you were to express sympathy, you could tell them that you’re sorry that they’re going through this. However, this wouldn’t stop you from feeling judgment towards their situation.

Perhaps you judge them for having been reprimanded. Some people might even say, “At least you still have your job!”

On the other hand, you wouldn’t say this if you were an empath. With empathy, you feel the sadness, nervousness, and disappointment the other person feels. You care about their well-being.

You can let them know they’re not alone. You don’t need to find a solution to their problem. Instead, you can say something like:

“I’m really sorry. I’m so glad you told me. I’m here for you.”

You resist the urge to try to make it go away.

Empathy is about connecting with the other person instead of trying to find an appropriate response.

Here’s another example. If someone at work tells you they’re having marriage problems, sympathy could look like this:

“Oh, that sucks. Have you tried marriage counseling?”

On the other hand, practicing empathy means fully listening to the other person. If this is someone you're comfortable with, you can ask them if they want to talk about it with you.

There’s no need to try to fix the issue for them. Instead, offer a moment of connection.

Which is better: sympathy or empathy? 

Sympathy doesn’t help you build deep connections with other people. This is because sympathy only offers surface-level understanding. It doesn’t allow you to see from someone else’s perspective.

On the other hand, empathy lets you walk in someone else’s shoes. As a result, you can better provide what they really need.

In the workplace, empathy can help you connect with your peers and get on the same level as them. Doing so can help you   build a high-performance team.

Practicing empathy, especially at work, is no easy feat.

According to Businessolver’s 2021 Empathy Study,   70% of CEOs say they struggle to demonstrate empathy at work consistently .

68% of them also believe they'll be less respected if they show empathy in the workplace.

However, only 25% of employees say that empathy in their organizations is sufficient.

Empathy is becoming a growing priority for employees as more and more Gen Z employees join the workforce. They’re the fastest-growing group in the workforce right now. 

90% of Gen Z employees say that they’re more likely to stay at their jobs if their employer is empathetic.

If you have a leadership position in your organization, practicing empathy and making it a priority is key to building a more resilient workforce.

Here are four ways you can do so:

1. Listen actively instead of focusing on what to say next

Even when listening to someone else, people are often focused on their own thoughts.

It’s easy to think about what to say next instead of focusing on what the other person is saying. This gets in the way of fully and actively listening to the other person. It also makes it difficult to understand the emotions of another person.

Failure to listen will make it difficult to empathize. 

Instead of focusing on your response, pay close attention to what someone is telling you. Listen attentively, not just for their words, but for other non-verbal cues, too.

Watch their body language and tone of voice to understand how they feel. You can easily miss these signals when you’re focused on your own response.

When the other person is finished speaking, take a moment to process the information. Only once you’ve processed all nuances of the conversation should you focus on what you want to say.

If you have a position of leadership, encourage your team to practice active listening.

2. Repeat in your own words

One of the first things you can say after listening to someone is to repeat what they've said but in your own words.

You can phrase this as something that you’ve heard.

Here’s an example:

“What I’m hearing is that you don’t feel valued in the team when Jeremy and Sophia speak over you. Is this right?”

When you present something as what you’ve heard, it places the burden on you, not on the other person. If you heard or understood something wrong, they can correct you.

3. Prioritize emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is an important soft skill to practice in your workplace if you want to improve empathy.

People who have high emotional intelligence tend to be:

• More self-aware
• Able to manage themselves
• Aware of social cues
• More capable of managing relationships

In the workplace, it's crucial to prioritize emotional intelligence in your team. It facilitates strong communicators, collaborators, and leaders.

4. Understand what the other person needs

Everyone is wired differently. We all have different needs.

It’s easy to imagine what you'd need if you were in the same situation as someone else. But what you need isn’t necessarily the same as what they need.

Resist the urge to automatically leap to conclusions about what someone needs when they tell you what they’re going through.

Instead, use your listening skills to figure out what they need. If you’re not sure, ask. It’s better to ask someone what they need than to assume and provide the wrong kind of support.

What can seem like empathy but isn’t? 

Some scenarios can feel like empathy but aren’t really. Here are some examples to look for:

1. Someone in grief

Supporting someone who is grieving is a great example of what could be empathy, but it isn’t always.

When you go see someone in grief and tell them how sorry you are, it can feel like you’re empathetic to their situation. After all, you know it must be terrible to live a loss like that.

Maybe you even take the time to bring them flowers or a card.

However, this is an example of sympathy. That’s why most cards designed for people in grief say “Our Sympathies” on them. They’re also called sympathy cards for a reason. 

Showing empathy requires a lot more than offering your condolences. It takes effort to imagine yourself in the grieving person’s shoes.

It also takes effort to be there for them and offer them the support they need.

2. A coworker struggling to keep up

A coworker comes to you to complain about struggling to focus and catch up with all their tasks.

As a result, you bombard them with your best time-saving techniques to help them get everything done. You feel this is empathetic because you are taking time out of your day to help them through something.

But the next day, you find that this coworker comes to you to complain again. Why is that? Didn’t you already help them?

This can happen because the first scenario didn’t show true empathy. While you did help them, you didn’t take the time to connect with how they felt.

When you take the time to do so, you realize that more is going on than you previously thought. They’re having issues at home, which are getting in the way of their focus.

By listening fully to what they have to say, you help them feel heard and supported. As a result, this coworker is now better able to focus afterward.

3. A friend who needs emotional support

A friend starts to complain about being tired because they struggle to fall asleep at night.

You quickly interrupt them to say, “Oh, I’ve been through that before. I know that’s really hard. What helped me was to take melatonin every night. It works like magic.”

Although it feels like you’re empathizing with them, this isn’t really the case. Instead of focusing on the other person, you redirected the conversation to be about you.

Empathy instead requires you to put your own feelings aside and focus on the other person.

Only by listening will you find out what the other person is looking for.

Compassion vs. empathy 

Compassion and empathy   are often used interchangeably. Though there's a common thread between them, the two concepts are distinctly different.

Both compassion end empathy are fueled by an understanding of another human's emotions. They both come with a desire and ability to connect with someone else and feel their pain.

Compassion goes a step further as an individual recognizes the pain in another and is motivated to help them.

That said, compassion does require a degree of separation. To effectively help someone else, you should be able to manage those empathetic feelings so that they don’t overwhelm you. With these feelings managed, a person has the capacity to find an appropriate response and see it through.

Empathy vs sympathy: know the difference 

Sympathy is an expected sentiment. But empathy goes beyond what people expect.

It helps people connect, both at work and in life.

If you want to learn how to practice empathy, you can try personal coaching through BetterUp.

Schedule a demo today   to see how BetterUp can help you develop emotional intelligence and reach your career potential. 

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Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

Compassion vs. empathy: Understanding the difference

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Sympathy and Empathy: What’s the Difference?

Sympathy and empathy are synonyms that are often used interchangeably. but there’s an important difference between the two qualities and knowing it can make you more emotionally intelligent..

Which quality would you rather be known for: empathy or sympathy?

At first glance, you might think these two qualities are basically the same thing. The truth, though, is there is a subtle yet powerful difference between sympathy and empathy. Knowing that difference can help you better relate to those you work and live with, allowing you to deepen and strengthen those relationships.

What’s the difference between sympathy and empathy?

Sympathy is a feeling of pity or sadness for someone’s trouble, grief, or misfortune. In contrast, empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings and emotions.

Both qualities have their place, but showing empathy takes more time and requires more effort than showing sympathy. Let’s break this down further.

Sympathy is a great quality and can be extremely useful, but it’s limited. For example, imagine a colleague goes through a difficult personal situation, such as a divorce or the loss of a family member. You naturally feel sympathy. You may even write a card or attempt to express our feelings somehow (sometimes awkwardly). For the most part, though, you move on with your life.

When you show empathy, however, you do more. First, you think about how it felt when we went through similar circumstances (or how you would feel, if you haven’t had this experience). You strive to remember how this affected your work and our relationships. Even further, you try to imagine specifically how your colleague feels in this situation, recognizing that every individual will deal with things in his or her own way.

Empathy enables you to be more understanding and can help to strengthen your relationships. This can make you a better manager, teammate, spouse, parent, family member, or friend.

But as you can see, the challenge is showing empathy is hard.

Despite the fact that all of us yearn for others to try fitting into our shoes, we’re often not ready to do the same for them. We see this every day in the form of broken marriages, strained parent-child relationships, and deteriorating communication in the workplace. (To understand more about the “why” behind this, you can read about what’s called “the perspective gap.”)

So, how do you cultivate empathy?

In EQ Applied: The Real-World Guide to Emotional Intelligence, I share the following suggestions.

Become a good listener

When a person tells you about a personal struggle, listen carefully. Resist the urge to judge the person or situation, to interrupt and share your personal experience, or to propose a solution. Instead, focus on understanding the how and why: how the person feels, and why they feel that way.

Remember that individual experiences vary greatly, as do the emotions that accompany those experiences.

Sharing emotions isn’t easy, so help the person feel secure by thanking them for sharing those feelings. Depending on the person (and the situation), you may encourage them to express themselves further, using questions such as “How long have you felt this way?” or “Have you ever experienced this type of situation before?” Be careful not to force it, lest the other person feel interrogated.

Most of all, reassure them—through words and actions—that you’re not here to judge. You’re here to listen.

Relate to feelings, not situations

Next, it’s important to take time to reflect. Once you have a better understanding of how the person feels, you must find a way to relate.

You may not be able to relate to another person’s situation. For example, maybe they are having a hard time with their kids, and you don’t have children. Or, maybe they’re struggling with something at work that you’ve never experienced, or don’t see as such a huge deal.

But while you can’t relate to the other person’s situation, you can relate to their feelings. You’ve experienced disappointment, frustration, or the feeling of being overwhelmed.

So, ask yourself: When have I felt similar to what this person has described?

This will help you build a bridge with the other person, instead of a wall.

Offer to help…Maybe

Once you’ve allowed the person to express themselves, they will likely feel at least somewhat better.

Many times, that’s all that’s needed. (Or all you can do for now.) But if you’re so moved, you could go a step further and offer to help.

Maybe you take the initiative to do something that you think the other person will appreciate. Or, maybe you have an experience to share or a suggestion to make. If so, avoid making the other person feel inadequate, or that you have all the answers. Frame it as something that’s helped you in the past, or as an option that they can adapt to their circumstances.

Remember that what worked for you, or even others, may not work for this person. But don’t let that hold you back from helping. Simply do what you can.

There’s a time and place for sympathy. But you’ll go a lot further with empathy. In fact, cultivating empathy will do wonders for your relationships.

Because in most cases, empathy begets empathy. When you work hard to walk in another person’s shoes, they’ll be moved to do the same for you.

And that gets the best out of everyone.

You might also like:

What Is Empathy? The 3 Types of Empathy and How They Differ

Can empathy be bad make your empathy helpful, not harmful.

The Rule of the Chess Player: Learn How to Show Empathy

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Join a community of tens of thousands building their emotional intelligence with EQ Applied.

“Empathy” vs. “Sympathy”: Which Word To Use And When

Watch: what is the real difference between "empathy" and "sympathy".

The terms empathy and sympathy are often confused, and with good reason.

Both of the words deal with the relationship a person has to the feelings and experiences of another person. One involves feeling a certain way about a person, and the other involves feeling the same way that another person does.

In this article, we’ll explain the subtle differences between sympathy and empathy , discuss how each term is used, and provide some example sentences that use each term.

What is the difference between sympathy and empathy ?

Both sympathy and empathy have roots in the Greek term páthos meaning “suffering, feeling.” Sympathy is the older of the two terms. It entered English in the mid-1500s with a very broad meaning of “agreement or harmony in qualities between things or people.” Since then, the term has come to be used in a more specific way.

Nowadays,  sympathy is largely used to convey commiseration, pity, or feelings of sorrow for someone else who is experiencing misfortune. This sense is often seen in the category of greeting cards labeled “sympathy” that specialize in messages of support and sorrow for others in a time of need. You feel bad for them … but you don’t know what it is like to be in their shoes.

Consider the following examples:

“I’ve always liked Saturn. But I also have some sympathy for Pluto because I heard it’s been downgraded from a planet, and I think it should remain a planet. Once you’ve given something planetary status it’s kind of mean to take it away.” – Jared Leto

“Pity may represent little more than the impersonal concern which prompts the mailing of a check, but true sympathy is the personal concern which demands the giving of one’s soul.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Empathy entered English a few centuries after sympathy —in the late 1800s—with a somewhat technical and now obsolete meaning from the field of psychology. Psychologists began using empathy  as a translation for the German term Einfühlung and the concept that a person could project their own feelings onto a viewed object.

Unlike sympathy , empathy has come to be used in a broader way than it was when it was first introduced; the term is now most often used to refer to the capacity or ability to imagine oneself in the situation of another, experiencing the emotions, ideas, or opinions of that person.

“As you get older you have more respect and empathy for your parents. Now I have a great relationship with both of them.” – Hugh Jackman

“I’ve always thought of acting as more of an exercise in empathy , which is not to be confused with sympathy. You’re trying to get inside a certain emotional reality or motivational reality and try to figure out what that’s about so you can represent it.” – Edward Norton

The difference between the most commonly used meanings of these two terms is:

• sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity for the hardships that another person encounters.
• empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of another, which is why actors often talk about it.

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The Differences Between Empathy and Sympathy

The Difference Between Empathy vs. Sympathy With Examples

As a writer, infusing your work with sympathy and empathy is a significant part of developing relatable characters and believable situations. 

Without them, stories are about as engaging as 60 Minutes to a 6-year-old kid.  

Both emotions are grounded in compassion, but how does empathy differ from sympathy?

In short, having sympathy for another person amounts to expressing genuinely kind sentiments in the wake of a bad event. Showing empathy for someone is an act of service, typically rooted in shared experiences or emotions.

Below, we’re dissecting both concepts through a literary lens, complete with sympathy vs. empathy examples. 

Benefits of Sympathy

5 examples of sympathy, benefits of empathy, 5 examples of empathy, final thoughts, what is sympathy.

Sympathy is a feeling of authentic care and concern. An ethical step above pity, sympathy is swaddled in unalloyed solicitude instead of superiority. Unlike empathy, however, sympathy doesn’t involve shared perspectives or relatable emotions .

Since it’s such a versatile emotion, great writers use sympathy as a framing mechanism to “show and not tell.” 

For example, an overly privileged character may not understand a financial obstacle obstructing an average person’s path and express trite sympathy at a personality-defining moment in the plot. The character’s lack of empathy provides nuanced insight into their upbringing and inner world. 

Moreover, if you want to entice readers into the world you’ve created, they must sympathize or empathize with at least one of the characters.

In an article for the Oxford English Encyclopedias , Rae Greiner explains that “[literary] sympathy and empathy have been key components of aesthetic movements such as sentimentalism, realism, and modernism.” Greiner also points out that both feelings anchor the emotional core of “literary techniques like free indirect discourse (FID), which are thought (by some) to enhance readerly intimacy and closeness to novelistic characters and perspectives.”

Literarily speaking, sympathy is a layered sentiment, and where it falls on the ethical scale is largely dependent on the situation. To wit, false sympathy can be a character blight if the person is sympathetic when they should be empathetic.

Conversely, laudatory politeness and kindness can be expressed through genuinely compassionate exchanges. 

Practically speaking, though, sympathy has several benefits. 

• Studies show that people who develop authentic sympathy are less prejudicial than those who don’t.
• Well-executed sympathy helps to build stronger and healthier relationships with friends and colleagues.
• Genuinely sympathetic people tend to be better leaders.
• People who sympathize with others’ plights are more open-minded, flexible, and resilient.

Sympathy is the emotion between pity and empathy.

• Even though you’ve never lost a job, you feel bad for your friend who lost theirs.
• You’ve been happily married for over 20 years, but your good friend just announced that she’s getting a divorce. While you feel sympathy, empathizing is difficult because you can’t put yourself in their shoes, and it’s too uncomfortable (or challenging) for you to try. 
• Your best friend’s father died. Instead of making yourself available to her, you send a card and some flowers.
• You might feel sympathy for someone who just lost money in the stock market because you did as well, but your compassion is grounded more in your own feelings of frustration rather than the other person’s.
• Your sibling has a noisy neighbor. While you genuinely feel bad for what they must endure, you can’t do anything about it.

What Is Empathy?

Broadly speaking, empathy is the ability to intimately feel others’ emotions, usually due to weathering similar experiences. Moreover, it’s a conscious choice to prioritize another person’s state of mind, which often serves as the emotional trigger that sparks compassionate action.

For writers, empathy can also refer to one’s ability to develop character and situational verisimilitude.

Empathy takes imagination and involves a willingness to extend yourself into another person’s emotional space and sit with them there, even if it’s uncomfortable. It’s a way of saying, “I understand you because I am you, and I am willing to share your pain.” It’s about extending oneself to meet another where they are.

Most people have some natural empathy as it does play a role in our evolutionary history and can be traced to the mirror neurons in our brains. 

In real life, empathy is harder to accomplish than sympathy. It takes mastering the art of listening without judgment and a heaping dose of vulnerability. After all, you must acknowledge to yourself and the other person the similar feelings you share as the listener.

Two types of empathy can occur separately or together. 

• Affective Empathy: These feelings arise when we observe or sense another person’s emotions. For example, if you see someone crying, you may become teary yourself.
• Cognitive Empathy: The ability to identify and understand someone else’s emotions. You can see a situation from their perspective and understand their feelings or reactions.

Quality writing has “living, breathing” characters. They’re nuanced and well-developed. Doing this well requires an empathetic approach.

Empathy is a wonderful quality. In many ways, people who can easily commune with others are the glue that keeps societies from crumbling. Empathy also:

• Expands your perceptions and fosters understanding
• Connects and transforms your relationships and removes the blocks to action
• Makes you more willing to help others even if it goes against your own self-interests
• Boosts intimacy and satisfaction in love relationships
• Helps in conflict resolution
• Promotes heroic and selfless acts

Unlike sympathy, empathy usually involves an action, not just an expressed sentiment.

• Your friend is fired from their job. You know exactly how it feels because you’ve also been on the wrong side of a pink slip. In an attempt to cheer her up, you plan a fun girl’s weekend and pay for the whole thing.
• A friend’s child wins a prestigious award, which brings great joy to your buddy. Even though your child has never been honored, you understand what it feels like to be supremely happy about something and can be genuinely happy for your pal and share in their elation.
• Your close friend’s mother passes away. Since you have already lost your parents, you know intimately about the related pain. As such, you make yourself available to your buddy, give them a shoulder to cry on, and help them with logistical elements during their grieving period. 
• Saying something like, “I’m so impressed with how you’re handling yourself through this difficult period. You’re a better person than me. And please let me know if there is anything at all I can do to help.”
• Your friend breaks up with their longtime partner. Instead of just saying, “Sorry that happened,” you invite her over to vent and cheat on your diets.

How to Cultivate Sympathy and Empathy

To grow, you must embrace various experiences — whether on your own or by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Humans can’t flourish in cocoons of our own making.

Here are some ways you can begin to develop more empathy:

• When you are with another person, try to focus your attention outwards to understand their behaviors, moods, or expressions. Be fully present and listen intently when they speak rather than being stuck inside your own head or preparing your response.
• Don’t be too quick to offer solutions or minimize the situation or their pain. Show with your eye contact, expressions, and body language that you “get” what is happening with them.
• Tell the other person what you’re hearing them say. Allow them to feel deeply heard. This can’t be a rote repetition of their words but a sincere reflection of the feelings behind the spoken words.
• Physically mirror the other person in their body language if you can do it without it looking weird. We do this unconsciously with people we like, so try to do it intentionally to show a connection.
• Actively imagine that you are this person and that their challenge or pain is yours. Allow yourself to feel the feelings of sadness, anger, regret, fear, pain, shame, or guilt that they are feeling. Only through feeling what others feel can we genuinely empathize with them.
• Extend yourself to talk more with people of different cultures, socio-economic backgrounds, faiths, or political persuasions. Spend time outside of your “tribe” to better understand where others are coming from and why they are the people they are.
• Challenge your assumptions about others and step back from personal prejudices. It’s hard to be empathetic when you rely on stereotypes. Step out of your comfort zone and look for opportunities to challenge your entrenched beliefs and opinions.

As a writer, developing empathy in your real life will help you pen more sympathetic and empathetic characters. Moreover, pay attention to examples in your real life. Make notes about how people react to others’ lousy fortune and graft those tendencies onto your characters.

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• February 20, 2021

What’s the Difference Between ‘Sympathy’ and ‘Empathy’?

There are some pairs of words that just seem to cause problems. It could be that they sound alike. It could be that they look alike. And it could be because their meanings are somewhat related. When it comes to the words ‘sympathy’ and ‘empathy’, all three of those things are probably true. And the result is confusion. So, what really is the difference between ‘sympathy’ and ‘empathy’? It’s time to lay this one to rest once and for all.

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Sympathy is Sharing

‘Sympathy’ is a word that, in terms of the English dictionary at least, has been around a lot longer than the word ‘empathy’ – 300 years longer to be precise. And like ‘empathy’ is has its origins in Greek with the suffix ‘pathy’ being derived from the Greek word ‘pathos’, meaning being related to feelings and emotion (and also suffering).

The easiest way to understand ‘sympathy’ is to take a moment to consider the types of greetings cards that people send in times of misfortune for others. For example, when someone dies, a common act is to send a sympathy card. And the purpose of doing that? Well, it is to show a particular person or family that we are sharing our heartfelt feelings at their loss. That we are thinking of them. That we acknowledge that they are suffering and that we feel for them.

They key word here is ‘sharing’. We show, through an act or with words, that we recognize the sorrow that another person is feeling. And in recognizing that, we show support, and solidarity.

And another way to think about sympathy is to consider someone who is ‘unsympathetic’. That is, someone who makes no acknowledgement to the way another person is feeling. Have you ever had a boss like that?

And another thing. Giving ‘sympathy’ does not mean that you must have experienced the same fate yourself. It is possible to recognize that someone is suffering even if you have never lived the same experience. 

It is also important to recognize that sympathy has another, connected meaning in English. For example:

I have sympathy with those people who want the laws to be changed.

In this statement, someone is admitting that they approve of those people of whom they speak. Now, that ‘sympathy’ may stop short of actual support, but it is recognizing that those people deserve to feel the way they do. This is a common refrain of a politician who may recognize that voters are upset, but is admitting that he or she cannot change the situation, for one reason or another.

Empathy is Understanding

And so that brings us to ‘empathy’. 300 years younger than sympathy – at least in terms of being recognized in the English dictionary – this is another word derived from Greek with that ‘pathos’ suffix, meaning emotion and feelings. Indeed, emotions and feelings are an essential ingredient to ‘empathy’, just as they are with ‘sympathy’.

But that does not mean that ‘empathy’ can be used as a synonym of ‘sympathy’. In fact, doing this may result in causing great offence. That is because ‘empathy’ is connected deeply with understanding, rather than just recognition of a feeling.

Let us compare two different situations to clearly state the difference between ‘sympathy’ and ‘empathy’.

Someone suffers from a disability. Perhaps they lose their sight. Now, although most of us could try and imagine what that must be like, the fact is that we cannot know what it is like to not be able to see unless we actually cannot see. In short, you cannot have empathy with someone who is blind unless you are blind yourself. And if someone loses their sight, we can offer deep sympathy, not empathy unless we too cannot see.

And then let us again consider the situation of bereavement – when someone experiences the loss of a loved one. Due to the very nature of life, that is something that every single one of us will experience ourselves. And when we do, and then later on someone we know suffers the same or similar experience, we can relate our own understanding of their emotions directly to the emotions we experience. That is emotional understanding. And that is ‘empathy’.

Of course, no two people experience things in the same way. But if someone’s experience triggers connected feelings to your own experience, then you are experiencing feelings of empathy. Because you are in that other person’s shoes in your own mind.

‘Sympathy’ vs. ’empathy’: one other difference

So we have seen that ‘sympathy’ is sharing in another person’s feeling while ‘empathy’ is understanding it, probably because you have suffered the same or a similar fate yourself. But there is another crucial difference.

‘Sympathy’ is always offered in a time of emotional sadness. For example, you do not send a sympathy greeting card when someone is getting married or gets a new job. If you did, that would be suggesting they have married the wrong person or that you do not approve of that job.

Empathy, on the other hand, does not need to be connected to a negative feeling. For example, someone who has won the lottery can be empathetic with someone else who wins the lottery. And to most people, that is not a situation that calls for feelings of sadness. It simply means that one lottery winner can understand the probable emotions evident in another lottery winner. That’s empathy.

‘Sympathetic’ and ‘empathetic’

‘Sympathy’ and ‘empathy’ are nouns. The related adjectives are ‘sympathetic’ and ‘empathetic’, with the opposite adjectives being ‘unsympathetic and ‘unempathetic’. 

‘With deepest sympathy for your loss’ – A common greeting card refrain. ‘I have empathy with your loss. I too lost my father a few years ago.’ Although sympathetic, my boss couldn’t give me time off because my dog had run away. ‘I have empathy with your loss. I too lost my father a few years ago.’ ‘The two players, although rivals, shared great empathy, as only two world-class athletes could.’

One last thing

If you are not sure what is the correct word to use in context, you need a smart writing tool to assist. A tool that gives you instant definitions of any word you need. That’s why you should choose Linguix – an AI-powered assistant for all of your writing needs. 

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Difference between Sympathy and Empathy

When we interact with people, we often use terms like sympathy and empathy interchangeably. However, these two concepts are not the same, and it is important to understand the difference between them. Sympathy and empathy are two distinct emotions that have different implications in our personal and professional lives. In this article, we will explore the difference between sympathy and empathy and provide examples in sentences to help you understand these concepts better.

What is Sympathy?

Sympathy is the act of feeling sorry or pity for someone else’s misfortune. It is a feeling of compassion towards another person’s situation or circumstances. Sympathy is often accompanied by a desire to help the person, but it does not necessarily involve understanding their feelings or perspective.

Examples of Sympathy in Sentences:

• I feel sympathy for my friend who lost his job.
• My heart goes out to the families affected by the natural disaster.
• I am sorry to hear about your loss.

What is Empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It is the capacity to put oneself in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective. Empathy involves not only recognizing the emotions of others but also experiencing them oneself. It is a deeper emotional connection with others that allows us to relate to them better.

Examples of Empathy in Sentences:

• I understand how you feel. I have been in a similar situation before.
• I can see why you are upset, and I am here for you if you need anything.
• It must be hard for you to go through this. I am here to support you.

The Key Differences between Sympathy and Empathy

While sympathy and empathy are both emotions that involve feeling for others, there are significant differences between the two. The key differences between sympathy and empathy are:

Perspective : Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone, while empathy is understanding someone’s feelings and emotions.

Emotional Connection : Sympathy is an emotional connection towards someone, whereas empathy is a deeper emotional connection that involves sharing someone’s emotions.

Response : Sympathy often leads to the desire to help, whereas empathy leads to a deeper level of support and understanding.

Why is Understanding the Difference between Sympathy and Empathy Important?

Understanding the difference between sympathy and empathy is important for several reasons. First, it can help us communicate more effectively with others. When we use the right emotion in a situation, we are better able to convey our feelings and offer support to others.

Second, knowing the difference between these emotions can help us build better relationships with others. When we show empathy towards someone, we are building a deeper connection with them, which can lead to stronger relationships.

Tips to Show Empathy

Showing empathy towards others is a skill that can be developed with practice. Here are some tips to help you show empathy:

Listen actively: Pay attention to what the other person is saying, and try to understand their feelings and emotions.

Validate their feelings: Let the person know that you understand their feelings and that it is okay to feel the way they do.

Share your own experiences: Share your own experiences if they are similar to the other person’s situation.

Offer support: Let the person know that you are there for them and that you will support them in any way you can.

In conclusion, while sympathy and empathy are often used interchangeably, they are two distinct emotions with different implications. Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone, while empathy is understanding and sharing someone’s emotions. It is important to understand the difference between these emotions to communicate effectively and build stronger relationships with others. Developing the skill of empathy can help us become better listeners and provide meaningful support to those in need. So, the next time you interact with someone, pay attention to your emotions and try to understand theirs to make a stronger emotional connection.

Frequently Asked Questions:

What is the difference between sympathy and pity.

Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone, whereas pity is feeling sorry for someone’s situation or circumstance.

Can empathy be taught?

Yes, empathy is a skill that can be developed with practice and experience.

What are some benefits of empathy?

Empathy can help improve relationships, enhance communication, and provide emotional support to others.

Is it possible to feel empathy without sympathy?

Yes, it is possible to understand and share someone’s emotions without feeling sorry for them.

How can I show empathy towards someone who is going through a tough time?

You can show empathy by actively listening, validating their feelings, sharing your own experiences, and offering support in any way you can.

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Difference Between Sympathy and Empathy

• Categorized under Language , Words | Difference Between Sympathy and Empathy

It is fair to state that both sympathy and empathy are acts of feelings. With sympathy though, you feel for the person. You pity or feel sorry for them but you do not necessarily understand what they are actually feeling. As a result of this you tend to have no choice but feel sympathetic for the person because you do not understand the problem or predicament that they are presently having. Empathy on the other hand takes a little more imagination, work, or even similar situations to gain empathy for someone. It is most often referred to as higher order in the overall complexity of the human emotions.

You can describe empathy as sharing a feeling with someone. So do you notice the difference between the two so far? With empathy to an extent you are placing yourself in the persons place, you have a good sense of how they feel, and you also understand their feelings to some degree. Sometimes it may seem impossible for someone to feel empathetic to a person’s feelings because of their reactions. These reactions involve their thoughts and feelings towards the issue are going to be unique to each and every individual. The idea of empathy though implies a much more active process than sympathy does.

It is hard for you to empathetic to a person’s feelings but it can be easy for you to feel sympathy. It is easy for you to feel sympathy for someone who has lost a loved one, has undergone some certain kind of trauma, or have faced some very difficult times.

When sympathy is expressed to a person that is experiencing grief suggests to you that that person is alone in their grief. Empathy on the other hand suggests to the person that you are right by their side through the whole issue that they are dealing with, at the moment. You have the ability to imagine how it is to be in their shoes, and you are with them during their time of stress and turmoil.

The difference between sympathy and empathy is often misunderstood but when you understand the differences you will be able to use the terms in a better manner.

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Cite APA 7 Kumar, M. (2011, September 5). Difference Between Sympathy and Empathy. Difference Between Similar Terms and Objects. http://www.differencebetween.net/language/difference-between-sympathy-and-empathy/. MLA 8 Kumar, Manisha. "Difference Between Sympathy and Empathy." Difference Between Similar Terms and Objects, 5 September, 2011, http://www.differencebetween.net/language/difference-between-sympathy-and-empathy/.

10 Comments

Empathy and sympathy are probably terms that need to be defined before they are used because people mean different things by them.

I have always assumed the following meanings:

Empathy = being able to understand what someone else is thinking / feeling. The components of the word mean “feeling into”.

Sympathy = agreeing with what someone else is thinking / feeling or feeling with with them as the components of the word are “pathy” – feeling and “sym” – with.

Therefore I have always preferred sympathy over empathy. An enemy will work hard to gain empathy, but it is a friend who has sympathy by both understanding what I am feeling and then supporting me in that.

I have never understood sympathy as merely feeling sorry for someone, but it seems that many people do understand the word in this way which is why they say they prefer empathy to sympathy.

@Simon Butler,

That’s a really terrible way to put things. Your terms are totally off and I really think you are going to needlessly confuse people with that incorrect understanding of the two terms.

So sorry, this was meant to be a reply to @Kevin Allard.

I think it should be borne in mind that ‘empathy’ is a relatively modern word that came into use in the 20th century. It doesn’t even appear in the original (1930) full Oxford English Dictionary – I’ve just looked. As a Brit, I was completely unfamiliar with it until I started blogging, and saw its widespread use in the US.

According to The New Fowler’s Modern English Usage (1998 revision) it was introduced to English as a Greek-formed translation of the German Einfühlung at the beginning of the 20th century, as “a term used in psychology meaning ‘the power of projecting one’s personality into (and so fully comprehending) the subject of contemplation’ (OED).”

My Chambers Dictionary (1988) includes these almost identical definitions:

empathy – the power of entering into another’s personality and imaginatively experiencing his experiences

sympathy – power of entering into another’s feelings or mind: harmonious understanding

Sympathy is clearly the older word, and has acquired several other meanings along the way, including, most obviously, ‘compassion, pity’ as well as some more specialised ones. I imagine that ‘empathy’ was coined by psychologists to draw a distinction they felt necessary in their work, but it should be borne in mind that it has a more limited meaning than ‘sympathy’.

Strictly speaking, you should only use the word ‘empathy’ when you mean you have the capacity to understand someone’s feelings, but nothing more: if you want to imply you also feel sorry for them, then ‘sympathise’ is the word to use.

I am a studient of Physicology. I am to write a paper on the difference between sympathy and empathy. You have helped me tremindously.

Years ago as a student I was taught a relatively simple way of determining which term was applicable in a given situation – sympathy or empathy.

Sympathy is used to describe the feelings for another being who is experiencing distress.

Empathy is used to describe the feelings for another being who is experiencing distress similar to distress which you have experienced in some way yourself.

For example, if a friend’s parent dies, you feel sympathy for your friend, but you may have no similar experience of your own. But if a friend’s mother dies and the experience brings back your own sad feelings from when your own mother died, you are feeling empathy.

Perhaps the way I was taught to distinguish between the two words is an oversimplification, but it has seemed to serve me well through the years.

This is the way I see the difference between empathy and sympathy. It is difficult to distinguish the difference when one never really ever has a need to discuss the differences, but it is a very interesting thing to search out.

Yep, that’s exactly how I distinguish them too. The way they distinguish them are a little different.

I am also trying to figure out the distinction between empathy and sympathy. I have looked at a couple of the online dictionaries, but the definitions that were provided were obnoxiously unsatisfactory. I have read each persons attempt of such definitions, and I have found the various posts to be very helpful. I appreciate that there are people who are willing to try to make such distinctions, even if such distinctions are hard to determine.

Also, I think it needs to be said that what Tim has posted is unacceptable. I actually do not agree with the definition Kevin Alard has provided. However ,it has absolutely helped with progressing in the right direction towards answering the question. If someone is to have knowledge of their own ignorance towards something, but at the same time, have a belief that they are able to determine that which is not that something, then by definition, they are actually ignorant to the knowledge of their ignorance.

So in conclusion, Tim really should keep quite because he doesn’t realize when he wrong.

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Written by : Manisha Kumar. and updated on 2011, September 5 Articles on DifferenceBetween.net are general information, and are not intended to substitute for professional advice. The information is "AS IS", "WITH ALL FAULTS". User assumes all risk of use, damage, or injury. You agree that we have no liability for any damages.

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