background statement essay

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Background Statement Practice for IELTS Essays

Practising Background Statements for IELTS Introductions

Below are four essay questions that appeared this month (December 2018) in IELTS writing task 2. Under each essay question are model background statements. You will see the different ways you can paraphrase the essay question.

All IELTS writing task 2 essay introduction paragraphs contain:

• Background statement = a paraphrase of the essay question
• Thesis statement = your position or main points

This lesson will give you practice at paraphrasing essay questions to make a background statement. Below you will find 4 essays with model background statements and a list of tips to help you.

IELTS Background Statement Practice

Paraphrase the essay questions below to create one background statement. The first one has been done for you as an example with three possible options. I would like you to write a background statement for questions 2-4.

Essay Question 1

Science will soon result in people living to an average of 100 years or more. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Model Background Statement for IELTS:

• People’s lifespan is increasing due to developments in science and it is thought that people will soon have an average life expectancy of 100 years or longer.
• Due to the development of science, people’s lifespans might be extended to 100 years or even longer.
• People may one day live to be 100 years old or more owing to the development of science.

Essay Question 2

Some people prefer online classes, while others think it is better to be in a traditional classroom. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Model Background Statements:

• While there are people who prefer to take part in online courses, others believe that traditional classroom teaching is by far superior.
• Online course are very popular with some people, however others still consider teacher led classrooms as the most effective way to learn.
• Although online courses are preferred by some people, there are others who firmly believe that learning should take place in a classroom face to face with a teacher.

Essay Question 3

Many people try to find a balance between their work and other aspects of their life. However, few actually achieve this. What solutions can you suggest?

• It is a common problem that people struggle to find a healthy balance between their work and other areas of their life.
• Finding a balance between work and other areas of life can be a challenge that some people struggle with.
• While many people wish for a healthy work-life balance, few are able to realise this.

Essay Question 4

There has been an increase in the number of children and youngsters committing crime. What are the reasons for this and punishments should they receive?

• The number of crimes involving children and adolescents has risen over recent years.
• Children and teenagers appear to be involved in an increasing number of crimes.
• It has been observed that juvenile crime is on the rise.

Tips for IELTS Background Statements

• Don’t write a very long background statement. It doesn’t help your score to do that and wastes valuable time.
• Try to write your background statement as one complex sentence. to do that, use a clause and correct linking.
• Don’t paraphrase unless you are 100% sure your word is perfect. Not all words can be changed in English. Be selective when you paraphrase. Paraphrasing is a skill about when to change something and also when NOT to change something.
• Don’t aim to impress – aim for accuracy instead.
• You don’t always need to start your background with “some people..”. See all the options above.
• You should not start your essay with overused expressions that are popular with low level English users, such as “In the modern era,” or “With the advent of modern technology..”
• Avoid learning expressions which you think will impress the examiner “A hot debate..” / “a burning question..” “a highly controversial issue..”. The examiner is trained to spot these learned expressions. They don’t help your score and show a lack of individuality in your language. You need to write each sentence in your own words, unique to yourself.

I hope you found this lesson useful 🙂

All the best

Hi Liz, Thanks a lot for your straight forward answers

You’re welcome 🙂

1. Due to the development in science, it is expected of human being to have an averagely 100 years and above life expectancy 2. Most individuals have preference to virtual classes, however some think teacher to student classroom method is more better 3. Most individuals aim at maintaining a balance between work and other areas of life but only few people are able to realize this target 4. It has been discovered that teenagers and adolescent crimes has increased in recent years

Question 1 Humans are projected to soon be able to live to an average of 100 years and over due to advancements in science.

Question 2 Teaching these days takes two major forms-online classes and in a traditional classroom and some people prefer online classes to being in a traditional classroom and vice versa.

Question 3 It is such a daunting task these days that one finds a balance between work and other aspects of life. Few people find success.

Questions 4 Current statistics show that children and youngsters are increasingly indulging in criminal activities.

While some people prefer to take part in online classes, however, many believe that having classes in the classroom is by far superior for learning.

thank you Liz 😊😊

Thanks so much Liz. I have found this so helpful

I’m glad it’s useful 🙂

Great work Liz

1. The people’s life expectancy will be increasing to an average of 100 years old or longer due to the advancement of science. 2. While certain individuals prefer learning in the online classroom, others opine that it is more effective to study in the usual classroom face to face with the tutor. 3. Some people try to seek the equality between their occupation and other businesses, while few of them unbelievably earn that. 4. The plenty of young ages that involve to the crime has been increasing in our society.

1. People are expected to have a longer life span due to advancement in science 2. While some persons favoured distant learning, others are of the opinion that face to face learning with a teacher is best. 3. Although most people have made an attempt to strike a balance between their work and other areas of their life, only a handful of them eventually becomes successful. 4. Recently children are becoming more involve in criminal offences. Pls Liz evaluate for me. Thanks for your teaching.am grateful. Expecting your reply

Vitual learning is on the increase in recent years, however, some people still prefer the face to face with teachers

1) The life expectancy of people will be an average of 100 years or longer in according to scientific reports. 2)Online classes which are popular nowadays are found as a better way to learn by some people, whereas some people believe that the old methods which contain face to face learning are more effective. 3) Although a lot of people want to have a balanced life between their work and out of work activities, only a few succeed in this. 4) More and more children and teenagers have been committing a crime recent years.

Hello! Thanks for the great tips and extended list of examples 🙂 I believe there’s a typo in point 7, lack if instead of lack of. Thanks and cheers!

Brilliant! Thanks. It’s really helpful when people spot my typos 🙂

Thanks God , eventually I found a plenty of valuable advices and ideas .

Thank you so much ma’am 😊

Thank You most sincerely for all that you do. You are a blessing and I look forward to taking my exam tomorrow because of you. God bless!

After coronavirus I think no one prefers online classes 😄

It’s been a tough year for everyone. Hopefully 2021 will be better 🙂

1) Development in science is considered to shortly reach a level enough to be able to increase the life expectancy of people to an average of about 100 years. 2)Some people consider online classes preferable while at the same time others believe traditional physical classrooms to be more efficient. 3)Although many people attempt for finding an appropriate balance between their jobs and rather informal sides of their life, only few successfully achieve this. 4)An increase in the number of children and adolescents to commit a crime and break the law has been listed evident.

2. Virtual education is preferred by few individuals, while others are considering ancient classroom learning system as the best method.

3. It is not uncommon that persons grapple to search an equilibrium point between their work and other factors of their life.

4. It is not deniable that the rate of performing offences by children and youth has surged.

It is widely believed that the advancements in science would consequently increase the average life expectancy upto more than a century in future.

2. Online courses are best suited with some people.However, others still prefer to attend the courses in the usual lecture hall for the effective learning. 3.Finding a well-balanced path among work-life and personal life is more challenging to understand. 4.There is a huge rise in the crime rate which involved by the children and young people

2. Preference given to online classes for study purpose by many young people .However, others like to learn in common classroom with other students.

3.It is a difficult problem for many people to maintain sustainable balance between their Professional and personal life.However, few of them able to achieve it.

4 .Crime activities among toddlers and adolescent are increasing at fast pace,who are the policymakers of nation.

Childrens are not toddlers!! Toddlers are only 1-3 years old

These days, work life integration is a challenge for peoples,and some of them can fulfill it.

Maintaining a work-life balance is becoming a common problem for most of the people. However some overcome and attain success in it.

Learning being an integral part of every individual, some people prefer to take online coaching whereas others choose the conventional teaching methods.

Development of science is not debatable. As an outcome of scientific development, humans breathing will quickly come to normal of 100 years or longer. In my opinion, this development is damaging signs for humans and also to other species in the earth.

I really like that lesson

Q2= With the advancement in technology, most of the universities have launched their online courses and a section of people agree with this idea, however, others still believe old way of teaching in a classrooms is by far superior.

Q3= Undoubtedly, for every working professional maintaining a work-life balance is vital for their health and family relations. While many people are fighting to achieve this, but only a few of them are successful.

Q4= The sudden increase in the crime rate is a cause of concern for any society, and if the participation of pupils and young generation is rising in committing the crime, then it is a dangerous sign for any nation.

Q4: The number of criminal cases is specifically increasing in children and youngsters.

Q2 As technology is progressing through time more and more people are getting acquainted with digital forms of technology i.e online classes. However, some people still prefer and believe that traditional classrooms is the ideal one.

2.While there are persons who choose to take part in online courses, others believe that traditional classrooms are by far superior.

3.There is a considerable number of persons who are working hard to create harmony between work and their personal life, although, few are able to realise this.

4.The number of preteen and young adults responsible for crime has growth recently.

Many people spend their time and effort in discovering the ways to achieve a work-life balanced lifestyle. But the count of people who achieved the milestone is minimal till date.

It has been seen that lifespan of the people is on an increase and it is assumed that the life expectancy of humans will approach 100 years or more because of the near developments in science.

Comments please.

Although is it very common for people to study through digital mode of learning but few people believe that conventional approach of study outweighs other modes of study.

Guys trying first time please respond or try to correct.

Despite the great availability of the digital mode of study, the belief that the conventional approach of study is the best also exists.

Although it is very rare than one lives above the age of 80 years but with upcoming developments in science it is being assumed that people will have a life expectancy of about 100 years.

Q2= online class have become a preferable mode of learning by some people however some people still believe learning in a classroom is better. Q2= finding a balance between work and other aspect of your life has become common although only some people are able to achieve this. Q4 crimes involving children and teenagers are on the increase.

Good attempt but there are number of grammar mistakes in your statements. You can do better by avoiding these minor inaccuracies.

Q2= Although online class ha gained popularity among people but classroom learning is still preferred by some people. Q2= A balance between job and other aspects of life has become a challenge to find which is achievable by only a few people. Q4= Crimes are increasing among the children and teenagers.

1. It is a common problem that people struggle to maintain a balance between work and other social activities. Although people try to solve it, little is getting progressed in their endeavor. 2. While a lot of individuals choose online education, there are still many people who hold the opinion that traditional face to face learning method is more superior than online learning. 3. The number of crime committed by children and teenagers has increased in recent years.

2. Although online courses are preferred by many, others consider that classroom-based learning and teaching is the most effective way to gain knowledge.

3. Finding a balance between work and other areas of life can be difficult to some which only a few have succeeded.

4. The number of crimes committed by children and teenagers has increased significantly over the years.

Essay 2 Use of traditional classes and online classes is still debatable among people because of different views in advantages and disadvantages towards both learning techniques.

Essay 3 People find it difficult to archieve an equilibrium between work and other social life activities.

Essay 4 A high rate of Crime has been recorded due to children and youngsters being involved in criminal activities at a tender age.

Essay 2 : People have different preferences for attending classes. Owing to the benefits of learning in different ways, some are inclined towards online classes and few are towards traditional classrooms.

Essay 3: Some of many who struggle to maintain balance between their work life and other sides including family and friends, succeed in their purpose while rest of them do not.

Essay 4: A high rise in the crime rate of childern and teenagers is recorded.

1.Most of the students would rather like traditional classes than online classes to gain knowledge 2.Large number of individuals really can maintain the equilibrium either side of their jobs and other side of life ,while others find it difficult to do so . 3.Due to several reasons,the rate of committing crime has been increased among juvenile and adolescents .

1.Most of the students would rather like traditional classes than online classes to gain knowledge 2.Large number of individuals really can maintain the equlibrium eitherside of their jobs and other side of life ,while others find it difficult to do so . 3.Due to several reasons,the rate of committing crime has been increased among juvenile and adolecents .

1. With the advancement in technology and due to a comparatively busy life, people consider online coaching as one of the best option to gain knowledge. 2. Work and life balance is a mandatory requirement in the present scenario where people must allocate their time wisely. 3. Crimes among teens and children are increasing day by day due to their exposure to such environmental views through media.

Essay 2: Online classes are being favored by a few people, though, some are of the opinion that classroom based is still better.

Essay 3 : Many people have been trying to find equilibrium between career and other facets of their life, though, a small number successfully attain this.

Essay 4: The number of youths perpetrating crime is on the rise./ The number of youths and adolescents doing unlawful acts is on the rise.

Essay 2 – Preferences of the people are diverting towards opt for online classes due to advancement in information technology plus saving time in comparison to be present in normal routine classes. on the contrary, others believe to learn better and productive in physical classroom.

Essay 3 – Life of the many people has been tended to be hectic and exhausted, many of them are struggling to get equality or parallel between their work and rest of their life in terms of family, friends, and social activities.

Essay 4 – Population has been rising tremendously, causing more demand for daily consumption and basic requirements of life with limited resources. This may lead to increase in crime ratio for teens & youngsters.

1) Answer: – Certain people follow online education system due to advance technology .Whereas others are still in favor of learning in physical classrooms. – It is because traditional education system have greater sense of responsibility and high interaction, however it lacks some modern facilities while compared to ancient education such as less flexibility and fewer choices. This essay will discuss both view and give the opinion.

2)Answer: -Some people attempt to focus on multiple chores such as job and other activities like education.While, certain people are able to accomplish this success because of their ability. – There are some solution to keep focus on both work and they are hard works and proper time management .

3)Answer: – The felony done by the adolescent are raising day by day. – The reason behind this problem is due to poverty and illiteracy .In my opinion, I think the punishment should be given by looking the background of their family.

1. Online classes are getting popular these days, still there are people who think that traditional classes are better for learning.

2. Most of the people struggle to maintain a balance in their work and personal life, however there are some who know the art of how to achieve that balance in life.

3. In recent years there has been a rise in the number of crime committed by youngsters in our society, which is a matter of great concern for all of us.

#Although online classes are liked by many however, some people still like to study in traditional classes. ## Mostly people like to maintain balance between life at workplace and at home but only few of them succeed. ### It has been noticed that Juvenile crime rate is excelling.

Hump Q1. A number of people like online lectures while some feel it is quite advantageous to have conventional lecture halls. Q2. Many people strive to achieve a balance between their job and private activities. Q3. There is rise in juvenile delinquency.

2.It is true that tuitions over the internet are more liked by some whereas traditional classrooms are still preferred by many . 3. Although most of the people struggle to maintain a balanced life, in terms of job and other aspects, only few are able to experience it in their lives Many try hard to have a balanced life, despite the fact that just a few could actually achieve it 4.Adolescents breaking the law is on the rise than ever before. Poverty and media are two causes for this.

Q2 (a)Online classes are gaining popularity with some people compared to the ancient classrooms which are still the favourite to some though. (b) while some people opt for the online classes, there are some who still consider the olden classrooms as the best. Q3 Finding a balance between work and other social life issues is a challenge with some people. Q4 It has been discovered that crimes committed by juveniles are on the increase

1.There is a fierce debate among individuals that whether the online classes are better or tradirional classroom. I,however,believe that traditional teaching contribute to the overall development of a student . 2.In present scenairo, work-balance life is,undoubtedly ,a dream for many people and usually they fail to achieve this.The best way to maintain it is effective time management. 3.The crime ,nowadays,is more commited by children and youngsters.The reason behind this is more liberty and pocket money they have ,undoubtedly ,punishment is highly required so thet afraid from commiting crime again.

Essay question:1 Online classes are preferred by a few people whereas a group of people believes that it is a good way to learn and teach in the traditional classroom. Essay question:2 The majority of people efforts to seek a balance among their daily activity and other aspects of their life.Although, some individual can be gained with a good plan, focus, time management. Essay question:3 Nowadays, the number of attempting crime has been growing by children and youngsters.

Essay 2. In recent years, online classes have lured a lot of people among the student community than the conventional classroom studies. Since our classrooms are brought to the living room, it provides a great opportunity to everyone who wish to pursue their studies at their own pace and at anypoint of time in their life.

Pamela says, Qst 2. Technology has expanded such that few individuals believe that internet classes is preferable, however, on the other hand, others opine that the orthodox way of learning is better. Qst 3. The burning question of the day is whether or not there should be an equilibrium between work and life, although it seems that only some faculty could achieve this. Qts.4. In recent times, there has been a tremendous increase in crime rate. Unfortunately, little ones and teenagers are said to be perpetrators.

1) With the advent of modern technology in to education sector, some people prefer to attend the online classes while others still believe in traditional classroom system

2) Most of the people are struggling to find balance between their work and personal life, while only few achieve this

3) Recently there has been a huge exponential growth in children and youngsters committing crime

Comparing online classes with traditional ones has divided people in 2 groups

1. Certain individuals appreciate electronically connected classes, whereas others are of the opinion that to be present in a conservative classroom is preferable. Pls reply. 2. Numerous people attempt to fathom a balance between their occupation/job and and other departments of their life. Notwithstanding, not too many attain this. Pls reply.

3. There has been an increasing number of adolescent/juvenile and young adults perpetrating unlawful act. Pls reply.

Essay Question 2: Even though many people prefer to enjoy old- style schoolrooms, virtual courses are becoming rife among some individuals.

Essay Question 3: Making a balance between one’s profession and other facets of life is considered as an optimal issue. Many people, yet, may find it challenging to attain.

Essay Question 4: It is said that the rate of delinquency among teenagers and adolescences has escalated

Q2: It is considered by some that traditional way of learning such as to sit in a classroom is the most effective way while there are others who gave preference to study through internet in online classes.

Q3: Most people are trying to spend their life by keeping a balance between their work and other routine matters but unfortunately there are few who actually manage it successfully.

Q4: The number of crimes which are committed by young kids and children are increasing day by day. This is mainly due to computer games and crimes news. Instead of punishment they need proper counselling.

Kids is an informal word, try to avoid it

1. People’s have different view about excellent methods of learning between virtual class and face to face study. While web-based learning is new technology for distance education, I completely agree with those who believe traditional method is best.

2. It is true that people are experimenting in different ways to maintain harmony in their jobs and social life. Although some achieve this, being punctual on time can be taken as to mitigate these problems.

3. The large population of teens and secondary level student are increase in criminality. The reason behind this is due to freedom given by family, however good parenting can reduce this potential problems.

1.Nowadays, the majority of people have resorted to studying online rather than attending classes.

2. It is a challenge to many people these days to maintain their work and other aspects of life at equilibrium.

3.The statistics have reported high crime rates committed by teenagers and adolescents.

Q2. Population views on preferred mode of education are divided into two subgroups, while, one section of it tend to lean towards online mode of study, the others section prefers the old classroom based approach.

Q3. Finding the optimum division of time between work and other life activities is what the majority workforce searches for perennially, but those who eventually finds are not many.

Q4. The rate of younger population namely, children and youngsters, indulging in criminal activities has been on an upward trend.

Q2. The effectiveness of studying online is debatable. Some people prefer to study online while others feel it’s better to attend lectures in school. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provides evidence as to why studying online have gain momentum over time.

Q3. Balancing work with other human activities is debatable. Most individuals find it difficult to have a balance between their work and social life. This essay will discuss why people are having imbalances and provide a solution to a stable life.

Q4. The growing number of children committing a crime is getting popular. This essay will discuss the cause of the increase in crime and proper judgement for such child

Q2 / while many human being like online sesstions. Others belive it is better in traditional classrooms.

Q3 / Alot of human being attempt to have a balance between their job and other obligations of their life. However rerely could achieve that.

2. While online classes are some people’s choice , others are comfortable with a traditional classroom.

3. Most people are not able to find an equilibrium between their work and life.

4.Children and youngsters involved in criminal activities are on the rise

2)Due to the development in technology, classes via the internet getting more preference by some people whilst others believe having classrooms in conventional style is far effective.

1. Some individual favors online education, while others would argue that old-style learning remains desirable. Although online classes cut travel time from home to school, I believe that traditional classroom provides maximum knowledge through personal interaction between teachers and student. 2. Several individuals attempt to balance work and personal life but, only limited people really accomplish this. The most viable solution is public awareness campaign warning people against the danger of overworked.

Essay Question 1: Some people prefer online classes, while others think it is better to be in a traditional classroom. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Background statement: opinions differs among various people as some argue that internet classes are better than traditional classes, while other believe in opposite.

Essay Question 3 Many people try to find a balance between their work and other aspects of their life. However, few actually achieve this. What solutions can you suggest?

Background statement: Although many people tend to achieve a work-life balance, only a small proportion could, in fact, succeed in achieving it.

Essay Question 4 There has been an increase in the number of children and youngsters committing crime. What are the reasons for this and punishments should they receive?

Background statement: Number of children and youngsters, who are committing crimes, are on the rise.

Essay(2) it has been observed that e learning classes are gaining more popularitythan regular classes and highly preferred by students nowadays.However, it is argued by many that regular classes are irreplaceble and more beneficial for learners. I personally believe that traditional classes offer safe, postive and productive learning environment to students.

1-Although distance learning is preferred by a large proportion of our community , physical learning is thought to be an effective method of learning by some people.

2-The equality between employment and lifestyle seems to be a real challenge for people and not many of them overcome this test.

3-There’s no doubt that the number of juvenile criminal has increased considerably at the current time .

2. The conventional teaching method is more preferrable by number of indivuals than attending classes done online.

Nowadays many people opt for online courses than traditional method of teaching .In my opinion online education is more convenient than classroom lectures. I have explained my points in the following essay

Essay 2 People have their own preferences when it comes to , whether they want to choose online or traditional classroom classes. Essay 3 Finding a perfect balance between one’s work and other dimensions of life is aimed by many but is actually achieved by few people. Essay 3 A rise can be seen in the number of children and young folks who are getting involved in crime related activities.

2)Due to the development in technology, classes via the internet getting more preference by some people whilst others believe having classrooms in conventional style is far effective. 3)An increasing number of people tend to have balance in their official life and other perspectives of life although a few of them are able to acquire this. 4)Committing a crime by the young age group of people and children has been increased over the last few years.

3)An increasing number of people tend to have a balance between their official and other perspectives of life although a few of them are only able to acquire this.

3)Committing a crime by the people of young age and children has been increased over the last few years.

Q2: Although getting information became easy by using internet websites, According to some people, others, still prefer to learn in auditoriums. Q3: getting the time necessary to make a balanced activity through the day, be no longer controlled for many people, While, some people keep their activities scheduled. Q4: strict laws solution is one of the matters, should be taken into consideration to reduce the recklessness among young children.

1, Many people prefer to study online whilst, others believe it is better to be in a conventional classroom. This essay will discuss both views and give my opinion in the following paragraphs. 2, Most people try to find harmony between their jobs and other aspects of their being. However, only a minute of them actually successfully accomplish this. This essay will suggest some way this can be achieved. 3, In recent time, the number of children and adolescents committing a crime has increased. This essay will discuss the possible reasons and a penalty they should receive

Hi Liz, please find the below paraphrased sentences and post your comments 1) peoples life span might increase to 100 years or more due to development of science. 2) some people think traditional classrooms are better, while others prefer online classes. 3) Few people only achieve balanced between their work and other aspects of their life, inputs of many people. 4) Number of children and youngsters commiting crime has been increased.

Pamela says, 1. Technology has expanded such that few individuals believe internet classes is preferable. On the other hand, others opine that the orthodox form of learning is better. 2. The burning question of the day is whether or not there should be an equilibrium between work and life, it seems that only few people could achieve this. 3. In recent times, there has been a tremendous increase in crime rate. Unfortunately, juveniles and teenagers seems to be the perpetrators.

I have been following your work for a few months and would like to thank you for all your advice and assistance. You have helped me improve and achieve my desired score in reading and helped enhance my listening and speaking scores 🙂 It is an uphill battle with writing unfortunately.

I was wondering if there is a typo in essay question 3 as the question reads as “Many people try to find a balanced between…”.

Here are my background statement paraphrases:

Topic 1: Due to the advancement in science, it is expected that the life expectancy of a human being will be greater than 100 years.

Topic 2: Some individuals are of the view that online classes are better than traditional classrooms, while others uphold a contrary opinion.

Topic 3: Many individuals strive to achieve a healthy work-life balance. However, the success rate of achieving this is low.

Topic 4: There has been a rise in the number of crimes and offences being committed, especially among children and youngsters.

I look forward to your reply.

Well spotted 🙂

1. While a number of persons prefer virtual classes, others opine that onsite learning remains desirable.

2. While majority of people strive to strike and maintain work-life balance, only a minority have been able to achieve this fit.

3. Increasing number of children and adolescents are engaging in delinquent behaviors.

Essay 2 : It is generally accepted that people chooses online learning than the traditional learning method. I believe that both learning styles has its own advantages and disadvantages. This essay will examine the both learning method in detailed.

Essay2 : Work life balance is a daily challenge in most people’s life. While some people are able to split their timing between friends , family and other activities of their life , in addition to the demand of the workplace, others still find it difficult to make it. This essay will provide some possible solution to achieve it .

Essay 3 : Juvenile delinquency has been increasing over the past few years. The two main causes of this increase in crime rates are modern technologies such as internet , video games and busy lifestyles. I think that all convicted criminal should be punished based on the severity of crime commit.

2. Some persons would rather internet learning whereas some other people would prefer the conventional classroom teaching.

Many people believe in the advantages of conventional classroom training while others choose online classes.

People strive to achieve work-life balance in their daily lives but only a few can make a reality for themselves.

An increasing number of children and youths are seen indulging in misdeeds resulting in higher crime rates.

2, In some people’s opinion online classes are better, while others prefer the conventional face to face classroom teaching. 3. A lot of people attempt to strike a balance between their job and other areas of life. But only a handful accomplish this goal. 4. There is a rise in the population of children and juvenile deliquency. This essay will examine the reasons for this and necessary punishment.

People strive to achieve work-life balance in their daily lives but only a few can make it a reality for themselves.

An increasing number of children and youths are indulging in various misdeeds resulting in higher crime rates.

2 while online classes is viewed to be better by some group of person, the conventional face to face method of learning is preferred by some people. This essay will discuss both sides of the opinion

3 finding a balance between busy working schedule and private life has become a major project for most people although few people end up accomplishing this in life. This essay will elaborate on the causes of the problem and provide solutions.

4 THE involvement of children and adolescent in crime of resent, has increased at an alarming rate. I will enumerate the causes and solutions to this world wide problem.

1. Gone were the days when teaching was restricted to the traditional classroom setting as now, with the increase of technology, teachings are conducted virtually from any and every part of the world efficiently and effectively.

2. It has become increasingly impossible for a lot of people to create a work life balance as a result of the rigors associated with their work, timing, and other external factors.

Increasing the number of children’s crimes is sometime due to the treatment of parents and give children what they want at any time to the extent that rates of drugs and stealing anything became a disturbing matter. Punishment should be suitable for what children do even if a responsible person punish them to get over this problem

1. A certain portion of the population believes that education by the web technology; however, some believe in the old style, class base. 2. A number portion of the population considered to making similarity among of their occupation; besides, alternative features in their lifestyle; nevertheless, a small number of the population reached that. 3. It has shown a raise remarkable murdering by youth and minors; therefore, how can find any cause; moreover, is it better to penalizing hem?

Q2: Education sector is no exception where modern technological advancement has brought about changes in every field. However, the debate to find which is better, online education or traditional face to face education, is ongoing worldwide. Online teaching and learning, in my opinion, cannot replace the human interaction based education methods under any circumstance.

Q3: The modern life style has expanded the peoples’ responsibilities among many roles, where the work life requires most of the peoples’ time leaving them struggling to find a balance between work life and other aspects of life. Regardless of which part of the world, first world or third world, people try to find a solution but unfortunately many do not succeed. This essay will consider the potential solutions for this condition. Q4: Juvenile crime has become such a critical problem drawing attention from all over the world that many judicial systems are considering different punishments and methods of rehabilitation to correct these young offenders. People suggest various new methods and punishments to orient these youngsters in the right direction.

2. while some individuals will choose taking their classes online, others are of the opinion that learning in a conventional classroom is better. 3. Quite a significant number of individuals have tried balancing their career and other areas of their life. But unfortunately only a few have succeeded. 4. The proportion of children and young adults who commit crime has been on the increase.

Online classes have eased the learning process considering the percentage of people who have earned qualification.

4. Nowadays children and juvenile crime are rising gradually, consisting large proportion of crime rate.

2. Due to development of technology nowadays some people prefer to study online, whereas the others still believe in traditional ways of learning a subject. 3. Majority of people are willing to spend time equally and wisely between their job and personal life, but only minor number of them have achieved it.

2. Due to development of technology nowadays some people prefer to study online, whereas the others still believe in traditional ways of learning a subject.

Due to development in science, people’s lifespan will be extended to 100 years or more.

Although it is sometimes thought that traditional classrooms are better, some people prefer virtual classrooms.

Balancing work and other aspects of life are what most people try to achieve, while only a few succeed.

The rate of crime committed by children and adolescent are on the rise.

2)AS PER THE STUDENTS LEANING CHOICE, SOME ARE CHOOSING VIRTUAL CLASSROOM METHOD, AND OTHER GROUP GOING WITH FACE-TO-FACE CLASSROOM.

3)MOST OF THE PEOPLES ARE STRIVE TO MAINTAIN THEIR PERSONAL-PROFESIONAL LIFE. IN THIS ONLY FEW ACHIEVE.

4)NOWADAYS, INCREASING CRIME RATE AMONG CHILDREN AND YOUNGSTERS ARE HIGH.

1, Due to advancement in science technology, Mortals may be living more than 100 years.

2, One side of group argue that, it is good to have distance learning education while using internet. However, other side of group’s opinion is, outmoded classroom is the best teaching method.

3, world has become smaller due to changing in people’s lifestyle. people face challenges in keeping their both, work and personal lifestyle on the same page but only some can manage this.

4, it has been observed that number of children and youth have committed some serious crimes that puts justice system to think that, what consequences should they face?

essay 4 1-the increase rate of crime among children and teenagers has been continously shooting.

2-Now a days the crime rate is shooting day by day specially in early age of youngsters.

Some people think old method of classroom teaching is best whereas others prefer online education. Many people are facing challenges between their daily work and other aspects of their lifes and a compromise has to be reached. There is an increase in crime which is committed by children and youngsters

essay3 1.a true balance in people life ,is the most difficult task for which he was struggling but unfortunately not many people succeed in achieving it. 2.To have balance between the work ,family and friends is found to be so much difficult and a little people can achieve it in their life.

2. The discussion on prefrence of virtual learning as compared to classic methods has shown a divide between the two methods.

3. Although, there are less individuals that can harmonise their toil and existence, most individuals actually put in efforts to harmonise their toil and existence.

4. Figures of criminal activities amongst kids and adolescents has been on the rise.

essay3 1)a true balance in people life ,is the most difficult task for which he was struggling but unfortunately not many people succeed in achieving it. 2)To have balance between the work ,family and friends is found to be so much difficult and a little people can achieve it in their life.

I take this oppurtunity to congratulate you and thank you so much for all your support these days .I would prefer your videos are more worth than anything and you should continue that always.

Essay 2 1)A few people consider that learning through different programs on internet is more preferable while the rest opinions are in the favour of old style educational rooms.

2)few people give preference to get classes through internet while others are in the favour of old normal class rooms

2. It is considered by some inhabitants that attending online classes is more convenient, while few other people are of the opinion that it is good to attend conventional classroom sessions. 3. A large number of people attempt to strike a good balance between professional life and personal life, while there are others who actually achieved the same. 4. Of late it has been observed that there has been an augmented participation in crime by many children and teenagers.

Q.2: Due to advanced technology, most people prefer to receive lectures through virtual classes, but others prefer one on one classes. I believed that there should be a balance while receiving classes through both means.

2. There is a debate over preference of virtual tuitions and traditional face to face interactions. 3. Whilst most people aim to strike a balance between personal and professional life, a handful of them are able to attain it . 4. Children and youngsters are involving in punitive actions in droves.

Thanks a ton for your help. I had given my Gt exam few months back and just by watching your videos , I got 8.5 bands in speaking but 6.5 in writing ( which is shockinh for me as i dont know where i went wrong) and I want your guidance on writing. I will be extremely thanful to you😊

Please see my Introduction and guide me where i stand and what is to be corrected.

In the today’s era, internet has become such an indispensable part of people’s life that online tutoring is preferred by a few fraction of society . However, there are myriad people who still believe that traditional teaching methods are better. In my opinion, face to face learning is vital for the overall development of a child.

I didn’t plan to comment on individual writing, but for you I will make an exception. You obviously have excellent English, but you are not writing in a natural manner. You are writing in a forced way to impress the reading. This is the wrong way to approach IELTS. 1. Don’t use “In today’s era” – this is common with low level students. Just start normally and directly “The internet has become..” 2. Don’t use “a few fraction of society” this is actually incorrect English. Just write “some people” or “a proportion of people”. 3. Don’t use “myriad people” it is both overused and incorrect. You should have written “myriad of people” (preposition of). But don’t use it anyway.

Your aim to write naturally and avoid errors. All errors or poor word choices will lower your score. Now check my model answers above and see how logically and sensibly you should approach your writing.

Question 2 While some people think that traditional or face to face teaching is the best method of learning, others prefer having their classes online. Question 3 Having a balance between work and other activities of life is what many people try to find but this is a goal only few achieve. Question 4 It’s been on record that there has been an increase in the rate of crime committed by children and young persons.

2- However, many learners trust in the online tutorials, there are others who still believe in ordinary teaching classrooms. 3- However, people do their best to organize their life and get the benefit of each item they have, many of them are not able to create an optimum life. 4 – An increment in the crimes that are carried out by teenagers and children is observed.

1 In this age of technological advancement some people select online classes while others prefer the traditional ones .In my opinion virtual classes are easily accessible , time – consuming and much efficient than the physical classrooms.

2 In this highly competitive and pressurised life most people try to equalise the professional and personal aspects of life but few succeeds.

3 Nowadays the number of children’s and youngster executing offences has highly raised. Their are many reasons for such social evils and strict laws should be enforced in order to curb these. 3

Essay question 2 Background statement Online education is preferred by small group of people while on the other hand others believe that getting education in classrooms is more beneficial.

Although a lesser number of individuals would want to study online, majority would rather opted to learn in a classroom.

1. Due to modern technological era, people choose to learn from online classes method. However, other prefer the conventional classroom teaching is better for learning. In my opinion, I prefer to interact in classroom with teacher to learn throughly. 2. People try a lot to achieve work-life balance and other perspective in life but, only some can manage while, rest fail in it. Their is two effectively solution, first to give priority to leisure time prior with family. Second, take regular break from work. 3. The number of pupils and teenager breaking the law has been raised. There are some underlying reasons for it, and I believe pushinments is not a way to resolve. But, to sent them for rehabilitation and community services will be better for them.

Dear Liz, I have been following your site for almost a month and I truly believe you are doing an amazing job. I have listened to many other online IELTS tutors’ videos but your ones are exemplary. Thank you for this.

Now I would like to send you my sample background statements for questions 1-4 and look forward to your reply/assessments.

Paraphrase to Q 1: Due to scientific research the average lifespan for people is projected to be about 100 years. Paraphrase to Q 2: It seems that online classes/lessons may be preferable for the number of people while others may still opt for traditional classroom environment. paraphrase to Q 3: Life work balance is sought by a lot of people though not all of them succeed in it/though some fail in achieving it. Paraphrase to Q 4: 1.Young people tend to commit crime fairly more often than before 2.A considerable rise in young people’s behaviour committing crime has been noticed recently. Sincerely, Maka Tetradze

2. Certain extent of people prefer online classes, while other opt to be in classroom environment. 3. In the current environment, most people strive to strike a balance between their work and other life activities. 4. In recent time, the crime rate has seen an upward trend among children and adolescents.

Vast majority of people reckon that online classes are pregmatically more efficient but the opposition hold the opposite view .I shall elaborate the benefits and shortcomings of both the categories of education below

While many people favor online tutorials, others believe in face to face interactions that are presented in the traditional classes.

Although there are some who like online learning, other believe that face to face interaction is the best approach of teaching learning method. Despite many efforts only some people are able to balance between professional and personal life Nowadays,crime among minor and adolescent is increasing at a alarming rate

2. Although online classes are preferred by some, others consider it better to be in a traditional classroom. In my opinion, I think online tuition is preferable as it saves valuable time.

3. While a great number of people try to find a balance between their work and other sides of their life, it is in fact only few who accomplish it successfully. I believe that having a part-time job, together with a monthly schedule, may help to find the golden mean.

3. The number of crimes, committed by children and adolescents, is on the rise. There may different reasons why but I think that it is due to the bad influence of violent video games and TV films. Involving young people in sports activities outdoors may solve the problem.

1. Receiving classes online is increasingly being embraced by many, whereas, others believe that the conventional classroom is more effective. 2. A large number of people are making effort with a view to striking a balance between work and other areas of their life. 3. Children and teenage crime is rapidly growing in societies, a development which can be attributed to a number of reasons that will be highlighted in this essay.

2. There is a growing debate among people on the preference of internet-based classes over physical classrooms.

3. As challenging as it has become to find a meeting point between one’s career and one’s family life, nevertheless, few people are still able to actualise this.

4. In recent times, the number of teenagers and adolescents involved in crimes is on the rise.

3 – However, many people try to reach a meeting point between their work’s requirements and personal life issues, few of them have succeeded. 4- Nowadays, a significant increase in the number of crimes perpetrated by adolescents and teenagers is observed.

Hi Liz, here are my answers. 2. Where some believe in virtual learning , others prefer to be a part of traditional classrooms. 3. Majority of human beings try to find out a balanced approach between their personal and professional life; however, only a small number of people get this. 4. An increase can be noticed in the crime rate of children and adolescents.

Here are my model answers ,please correct me if i am wrong in any of them.

2. Few people tend to like virtual classes, Whilst others feel comfortable to take a regular classes. In my opinion, online classes are really helping thousands of people by creating a private platform. However, traditional classroom is available for all courses.

3. People often experience hard to stabilize their job and personal life, while others can easily compensate both. In my view, by paying attention to priorities, we can achieve the balance between work and household activities. However, it is highly difficult to acquire this in life.

4. There is no doubt that the number of kids and teenagers are involving in illegal acts has been elevating in recent times. The reason for that problem is, they are lacking the care and protection anticipated from family, which was driving them to commit the sin. Instead of punishing them, changing their behavior is the solution.

p.s Your lectures are very helpful to me. Thank you 🙂

good job Deepthi

#2: Internet is changing the way of learning things for various people and they prefer to learn over internet. Whereas there’s another group of people who choose classroom studies.

#3: Although work-life balance is a preferred choise for most of the people, a few of them get to attain it.

#4: The crime rate in adolescent people and young adults has been reportedly high these days.

2. Quite a few learners feel that lessons given online are better than those taught in a traditional setting and vice versa.

3. Ver few among a large number of working people who strive to strike a balance between their professional and personal lives, manage to be successful.

4. There has been a noticeable and disturbing change in recent times related to crime. Children and teenagers, or people in their early adolescence, have started participating more and more in criminal activities.

2 ) In the current competitive job market, most of the employed people are struggling to find the work-life balance in their professional life.

3) Crime among children and young teenagers is on a constant rise lately.

2. There are some number of people who have preference for online learning, but some others believe it is better to learn in a traditional classroom.

3. A number of people tend to find an equilibrium between their job and other aspects of their life. Although, only few people do this.

4.a)The rate at which children and youngsters are committing crime is on the increase.

4. b) Crimes committed by children and young adults are increasing.

Q2: while a group of people think it is useful to get their courses through distal learning way, others still prefer attending physically to their lessons like the old way. Q3: in spite of being busy with their work, a lot of people try to spend their life soundly and make a fair share between their work and leisure. Q4 Nowadays, the crime age has extended dramatically to younger ages than before and a lot of crimes have been frighteningly assigned to kids and adolescents.

Question 2 It is considered by many that studying on the internet is a better option than going to school, but others advocate otherwise. I strongly believe that traditional classes help students learn correct conduct and it creates an extensive diversity among them.

Question 3 A large number of people have been looking for solutions to stabilise both social life and work , however only small proportion has succeeded. There are a number of measures which can be put in place to balance these activities .

The growing levels of children committing crime has proved to be a major obstacle for humanity . This is mainly due to difficulties in finding employment and an increase in divorce , however harsh punishment should be given to those who re-offend while community service should applied to those who are first time offenders .

Essay 2:Some are of the view that it is be better to attend regular classes, others opt for classes that are online. Essay 3:Despite the fact that a large number of people make efforts to strike a balance between work and other aspects of their live, only a few actually succeed. Essay 4:The number of children and adolescents involved in criminal activities are on the rise.

The trend of study has been changing everyday and there are some people who want to do it through internet and other prefer by face to face interaction in classroom.

Crime rate among kids and youth has been on the rise in recent times. These could be attributed to poor parental guidance, peer group influence and lack of moral lessons in school curriculum. Parental restrictions should be put in place as penalty for offenders.

1. A few people would rather have electronically delivered lessons, whilst others consider the conventional classroom to be superior. 2. Achieving a state of equilibrium between the demands of work versus life outside the business environment have been sought by many people. However, a few literally accomplish this. 3. The number of teenagers and minors who violate the law has increased over time.

1.Recently, the crime rate among kids and adolescents is increasingly high .

2. A good number of people struggle to find a middle ground between their jobs and other activities of daily living.

3. It is considered by some that online lessons is better than learning in the classroom as opposed by others who believe that the later is best.

It is believed by some people that traditional classrooms are better than smart classes . On this ground , this essay represents scrutiny on both the views and give a plausible opinion.

Answers #2) A number of persons opt for online schools whereas, others see conventional classroom as a more suitable alternative.

#3) Finding a balance between job and other aspects of existence is really achievable by a few persons although, several individuals endeavour to find an equilibrium between both.

#4) The statistic of minors(Children and youngsters) involved in criminal acts has been on the increase.

Essay question 2 It is true, Online classes becoming increasingly popular these days, some would argue traditional classrooms are better than virtual classes. Essay question 3 Except a few, a large section of people struggles with managing their work/life balance. Essay Question 4 Recently, crime committed by juvenile has increased.

Paraphrasing Question 2 There is a dichotomy among people between learning through internet and conventional classroom training, which is considered as effective way of acquiring education.

Paraphrasing Question 3 It is a universal challange to harmonize professional obligations with personal necessacities, which only a small portion of the group has been able to met.

Paraphrasing Question 4 Number of youth involved in criminal activities is on the rise nowadays.

Essay Question 2: Although internet lectures are most preferable by some people, but the usual classroom learning method is still considered more effective by other people.

Essay Question 3: A lot of people make efforts to achieve stability, amongst their occupation and other areas of their life. But in reality, only a little number of people attain this achievement.

Essay Question 4: The rate of children and youngsters involving in juvenile delinquent has been incremental.

2) Although some are of the opinion that online classes is superior, while traditional classroom is the thought of others.

3) A balance between work life and other aspects of life has been the struggle of many, but only few could achieve this.

4)It is a known fact that a growing number of children and youngsters have been involving in crime.

question 2: Most of the people recommend online classes but many of them believe that traditional classes are good to be in a class room. question 3: Many people struggle to maintain balance between work and conditions of their lifestyle although very few people achieve it . question 4 :Crime rate is increasing among youngsters and children.

Essay Question 1 Recently due to Leaps and Bounds of developments in the scientific world, average living age will cross 100 years or more.

Essay question 2 These days owing to magnificent increase in Internet technology, many people prefer online tutorials however few people still love to attend brick-and-mortar classrooms

Essay Question 3 In order to survive in this fast growing world, it is getting hard to perform better at work as well as stabilize other crucial tasks of life in contrary some people have are of managing duo very beautifully.

Essay question 4 Robbery, violence and murders cases around the world are inflating exponentially, whereas contribution of teenagers and young peoples is on higher side in comparison of elder citizens.

Essay 2 – It has been a common topic of argument for quite sometime now, whether online classes are better or the age old traditional classroom learning is favourable. Essay 3 – Work life Balance is essential for a peaceful living and everyone tries to attain a balance. While few individuals achieve it, others fail to do so. Essay 4 – Criminal activities among minors and adolescents have increased quite alarmingly in the last few years.

For some people, traditional classrooms are still a preferred mode of elarning however, there are some other people who prefe online classes.

Despite trying hard to keep the work and other spects of life on a balanced level , only a few people out of many become successful in doing so.

Out of many people trying to keep their work balanced with other aspects of their life, only a few people are found to be successful in their attempt.

A growing number of youngsters as well as children are found to be involved in the criminal activities.

Question 2 – Eventhough some people prefer online classes there are many others who still prefer traditional classes only.

Question 3 – It is believed that many people try to find a balance between their work and other aspects of life but few of them acheive this.

Question 4 – Committing crime is increase in number especially in children and youngsters.

Answers to the background statement!

Ans to question 2. Many people have varring preferences on their learning environment. While some like online classes, others prefer the usual classroom.

Ans to question 3 Achieving a balance between work and other aspects of life has being a challenge to a lot of people. Nevertheless, a hand full have achieved this fit.

Ans to question 4 The number of young people involved in criminal activities has been rising.

2. The Role of Distance Learning in our society can not be over emphasize, However, Classroom Learning has contribute greatly to the society

3. The Balance between career and Pleasure can be actualized, Notwithstanding, it takes strategies to be achieved.

4 Increase in criminal act has been stream line to children and youngsters in the society.

1. Human’s lifespan is expected to be an average of 100 or more with the advancement of science.

2. There’s an increasing argument on preference for virtual classes and attending lectures in person.

3. Many aim to achieve a level-ground between career and other areas of life but few are to successful at this.

4. There is a high rate of crime among children and adolescents

A large number of people struggle with their work -life balance, but some people gain it

Background statement 2: Studying online is being preferred by some people. however, others believe that attending classes on campus is more beneficial.

Background statement 3: Achieving a balance between the job and the other sides of life is the aim of many working people. But only some of them managed to attain this goal.

Background statement 4: The number of children and teenagers who commit crime is rising these days.

Background statements. Essay question 2: Online classes are considered by some individuals as the most preferable mode of study while others see the traditional classroom as better. In my opinion, both modes of study are good depending on the amount of time an individual has at his or her disposal. This essay will discuss both options.

Essay question 3: Plethora of individuals attempt to balance work with other personal activities, although only a few succeed in their efforts. To achieve this balance, one would need to set daily achievable goals, created a scale of priorities and inculcate time management.

Essay question 4: Crime rate has risen dramatically among younger people. This essay will discuss reasons associated with this social vice and how it can be remedied.

#2: A set of people recommend virtual classes using internet, on the other hand another set of individuals feel physical training are more advantegous. In my opinion, there are benefits and drawbacks in both the approaches. I will detail my thoughts in the below paragraphs.

#3: Even though majoirty of workers try to obtain worklife balance, hardly certain individuals can able to accomplish that. This is due to various reasons. In below paragraphs, I will discuss those reasons and possible solutions to overcome it.

#4: The crime rate amoung childrean and young one is growing recently due to multiple factors. I will elobrate the reasons and the ways to penalize them in subsequent paragraphs.

2. Studying online is preferable to some people, whereas others are of the opinion learning in a classroom is a better option.

3. Maintaining a balance between work and other areas of life is the goal of the majority of people, but only small number of people eventually achieve this.

4. The number of children and adolescents involved in crimes has been increasing in recent times.

Q2: Although some people consider that technologically advance classes are better,others believe that old way of classroom is the best. Q3: to lead a balance life, people may make balance between their personal and professional life. While others already lead this type life. Q4: the number of young people who commit crime rose dramatically from past few years

2. It is considered by many that online method for classes is convenient way, whereas some people argue that traditional classroom is essential for study.

3. Number of people do effort to balance between their working patterns and fullfill their need, although some actually aquire this.

4. Immense number of juveniles and adults has been committing crime, which is rise.

Essay 1: Development in science will be responsible for people to live 100 years or more. Essay 2: Some people prefered to opt for online classes , while others believe that old traditional classroom is a better option. Essay3: Many people try to balance their professional life and personal life . But , very less people actually able to do this. Essay 4: Numer of children ad teenagers committing crime has increased recently.

For ESSAY 3. In the recent scenario, there has been remarkable upsurge in the unlawful offences by youngsters as well as by kids. There are numerous reson behind the antisocial activity they adopt. However to curb the offenders there should be some strict law and order so this type of businesses will under control. Both the reason and antidisciplinary action should they given will discuss further.

2: The method of learning has become a controversial topic for hot debates among people with a few support the online studying whilst some others still believe in the old-fashioned classroom style. In my opinion, I argue that the textbook studies is advantageous compared to the modern method having meagre benefits.

3: As the world progresses with tremendous growth and revolutionary changes in the way of living, commoners have to work accordingly, which they sometimes find it hard to balance with their family lives, however, few wins over this. The solutions suggesting include reducing office hours and adopting a better lifestyle.

4: Recent years have witnessed a hike in the crime rate and the majority of convicts are either teenaged or children. Continuous exposure to violent video games and lack of affection from parents are prime reasons for this, and moral punishments such as forced social services in orphanages and imprison in juvenile cells are recommended.

Answers Essay 2; Nowadays some people preferred internet lectures while others believed conventional method of lectures is most important. Essay 3; Is common today, people try to have equilibrium between work and other life activities, nevertheless only few people achieved it. essay 4; Recently, the numbers of young adult and children involving in criminal activities has jump up.

Essay 3: In today’s fast moving world,majority of people are endeavouring to discover a good work-life balance in their life,however,due to having tremendous pressure from workplace and family, hardly any is able to maintain stability.

1. As a result of the evolution in science, the life-span of people is expected to be prolonged to 100 years or beyond 2. Due to the desire to secure the opportunity to work and study at the same time, some people would rather prefer online studies to historical classroom studies. 3. Many people desire to find the right proportion between work and social feature of life, nevertheless, it is not easily access to everyone. 4. There is a progressive rate in the perpetuation of unlawful acts among the children and young people nowadays

Essay 2- Sample 1-Several individuals choose online classes for their study, whereas some believe old way of study, attending classes in university is more beneficial.

Sample 2- certain people are more likely to taking online classes, whereas some people believe attending classes in university is always good.

Please make me correct whereever i am wrong.

Thank you, Gurinder Kaur

Answer 2 – Some learners like to study online, while others feel more comfortable in brick and mortar classroom. Answer 3 – Majority aspire to achieve a work-life balance but only some are able to do so. Answer 4 – The population of juveniles involved in misconducts has been on the high side.

2. A lot of students embraced online classes but many of them still thinks physical classroom teaching is still the best.

3. The struggle to find an equilibrium point between work and other aspects of life is pursued by many but only few people hit the mark.

4. Crime rate among the youths is escalating nowadays.

Thank you so much for this wonderful website to aid many IELTS students. Here are my responses

1. It is commonly preferred by some, to attend online classes, whilst many think it is better with traditional classroom teaching. 2. In this modern world, many people want their life to be balanced with work, while some individuals have succeeded to achieve this circumstance. 3. In recent years, many children and adolescents are observed offending.

Regards, Sravani

2. Although, online classes are preferred by some, others believe that being in the class traditionally is better. 3. There has been efforts to balanced work and other life aspects by people, but only few has succeeded in this regard. 4. The rate of crime among children has been on the rise.

Essay 2: Although it is sometimes thought that pursuing internet based lessons is a satisfactory approach to gain knowledge ,other people deem visiting schoolrooms for classes far better.

Essay Q2.. A traditional classroom is thought to be better though, online classes are also getting preferences due to its easy access. Essay Q3 To get an equilibrium between work and other aspects of life majority of people are endeavouring their best, though only minority can achieve this.

essay 2 Some individuals prefer classes online while others believe that traditional classroom is better.

essay 3 Work and other aspects of life is tried to be balanced by most individuals although only few people actually achieve it.

essay 4 A grown in number of children and youngster committing crimes.

Science has developed a great deal over recent years. For this reason, an increase in the expectation of life of people to about 100 years or more will not be impossible in the near future. From my point of view, this can have both drawbacks and benefits.

Owing to many reasons crime rate among teenagers and adults has been increasing dramatically.

To gain knowledge on any field has become relatively easier with the advancement and easy accessibility of internet. However, it is still believed by many that nothing beats the learning environment of the classroom.

Owing to the advancements in technology, some people opt to study online whereas others believe learning in a classroom is worthwhile.

1 Although some people prefer online tutoring, others opined for traditional classroom as more effective.

2 Although majority of the people are trying to find a balance between their work and other aspects of life, few are actually able to achieve.

3 Crime has been considerably increasing in the age group of adolescents and teens.

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Introduction How to get an essay started

Getting started can often be difficult. Even professional writers say that the hardest part of writing is the beginning. Writing an introduction to an essay can therefore seem a daunting task, though it need not be so difficult, as long as you understand the purpose and the structure of the introduction. An example essay has been given to help you understand both of these, and there is a checklist at the end which you can use for editing your introduction.

Purpose of the introduction

When writing an introduction to an academic essay, it is useful to remember the main purpose of the introduction. In general, the introduction will introduce the topic to the reader by stating what the topic is and giving some general background information. This will help the reader to understand what you are writing about, and show why the topic is important. The introduction should also give the overall plan of the essay.

In short, the main purpose of the introduction is to:

• introduce the topic of the essay;
• give a general background of the topic;
• indicate the overall plan of the essay.

This last purpose is perhaps the most important, and is the reason why many writers choose to write the introduction last , after they have written the main body , because they need to know what the essay will contain before they can give a clear plan.

Structure of the introduction

Although essays vary in length and content, most essays will have the same overall structure, including the introduction. The structure is related to the purpose mentioned above. The introduction to an essay should have the following two parts:

• general statements (to introduce the topic and give the background);
• a thesis statement (to show the structure).

General statements

The general statements will introduce the topic of the essay and give background information. The background information for a short essay will generally just be one or two sentences. The general statements should become more and more specific thesis statement , which is the most specific sentence of the introduction--> as the introduction progresses, leading the reader into the essay (some writers talk about "attracting the readers' attention", though for an academic essay, this is less important). For longer essays, the general statements could include one or more definitions , or could classify the topic, and may cover more than one paragraph.

The following is an example of background statements for a short essay ( given below ):

Although they were invented almost a hundred years ago, for decades cars were only owned by the rich. Since the 60s and 70s they have become increasingly affordable, and now most families in developed nations, and a growing number in developing countries, own a car.

These sentences introduce the topic of the essay (cars) and give some background to this topic (situation in the past, the situation now). These sentences lead nicely into the thesis statement (see below).

Thesis statement

The thesis statement is the most important part of the introduction. It gives the reader clear information about the content of the essay, which will help them to understand the essay more easily. The thesis states the specific topic, and often lists the main (controlling) ideas that will be discussed in the main body. It may also indicate how the essay will be organised, e.g. in chronological order, order of importance, advantages/disadvantages, cause/effect. It is usually at the end of the introduction, and is usually (but not always) one sentence long.

In short, the thesis statement:

• states the specific topic of the essay;
• often lists the main (controlling) ideas of the essay;
• may indicate the method of organisation of the essay;
• is usually at the end of the introduction;
• is usually one sentence.

Here is an example of a thesis statement with no subtopics mentioned:

While cars have undoubted advantages, they also have significant drawbacks.

This thesis statement tells us the specific topic of the essay (advantages and disadvantages of cars) and the method of organisation (advantages should come first, disadvantages second). It is, however, quite general, and may have been written before the writer had completed the essay.

In the following thesis statement, the subtopics are named:

While cars have undoubted advantages, of which their convenience is the most apparent, they have significant drawbacks, most notably pollution and traffic problems.

This thesis gives us more detail, telling us not just the topic (advantages and disadvantages of cars) and the method of organisation (advantages first, disadvantages second), but also tells us the main ideas in the essay (convenience, pollution, traffic problems). This essay will probably have three paragraphs in the main body.

Example essay

Below is a discussion essay which looks at the advantages and disadvantages of car ownership. This essay is used throughout the essay writing section to help you understand different aspects of essay writing. Here it focuses on the thesis statement and general statements of the introduction (mentioned on this page), topic sentences , controlling ideas, and the summary and final comment of the conclusion. Click on the different areas (in the shaded boxes to the right) to highlight the different structural aspects in this essay.

Although they were invented almost a hundred years ago, for decades cars were only owned by the rich. Since the 60s and 70s they have become increasingly affordable, and now most families in developed nations, and a growing number in developing countries, own a car. While cars have undoubted advantages, of which their convenience is the most apparent, they have significant drawbacks, most notably pollution and traffic problems . The most striking advantage of the car is its convenience. When travelling long distance, there may be only one choice of bus or train per day, which may be at an unsuitable time. The car, however, allows people to travel at any time they wish, and to almost any destination they choose. Despite this advantage, cars have many significant disadvantages, the most important of which is the pollution they cause. Almost all cars run either on petrol or diesel fuel, both of which are fossil fuels. Burning these fuels causes the car to emit serious pollutants, such as carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, and nitrous oxide. Not only are these gases harmful for health, causing respiratory disease and other illnesses, they also contribute to global warming, an increasing problem in the modern world. According to the Union of Concerned Scientists (2013), transportation in the US accounts for 30% of all carbon dioxide production in that country, with 60% of these emissions coming from cars and small trucks. In short, pollution is a major drawback of cars. A further disadvantage is the traffic problems that they cause in many cities and towns of the world. While car ownership is increasing in almost all countries of the world, especially in developing countries, the amount of available roadway in cities is not increasing at an equal pace. This can lead to traffic congestion, in particular during the morning and evening rush hour. In some cities, this congestion can be severe, and delays of several hours can be a common occurrence. Such congestion can also affect those people who travel out of cities at the weekend. Spending hours sitting in an idle car means that this form of transport can in fact be less convenient than trains or aeroplanes or other forms of public transport. In conclusion, while the car is advantageous for its convenience , it has some important disadvantages, in particular the pollution it causes and the rise of traffic jams . If countries can invest in the development of technology for green fuels, and if car owners can think of alternatives such as car sharing, then some of these problems can be lessened.

Union of Concerned Scientists (2013). Car Emissions and Global Warming. www.ucsusa.org/clean vehicles/why-clean-cars/global-warming/ (Access date: 8 August, 2013)

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Below is a checklist for an essay introduction. Use it to check your own writing, or get a peer (another student) to help you.

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Find out how to structure the main body of an essay in the next section.

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Go back to the previous section about essay structure .

Author: Sheldon Smith    ‖    Last modified: 26 January 2022.

Sheldon Smith is the founder and editor of EAPFoundation.com. He has been teaching English for Academic Purposes since 2004. Find out more about him in the about section and connect with him on Twitter , Facebook and LinkedIn .

Compare & contrast essays examine the similarities of two or more objects, and the differences.

Cause & effect essays consider the reasons (or causes) for something, then discuss the results (or effects).

Discussion essays require you to examine both sides of a situation and to conclude by saying which side you favour.

Problem-solution essays are a sub-type of SPSE essays (Situation, Problem, Solution, Evaluation).

Transition signals are useful in achieving good cohesion and coherence in your writing.

Reporting verbs are used to link your in-text citations to the information cited.

How can I write background information effectively?

This is the third and final chapter about Background Information . To complete this reader, read each chapter carefully and then unlock and complete our materials to check your understanding.   

– Consider what makes for effectively written introductory background information

– Provide five pieces of advice for effective writing

– Use an example paragraph to demonstrate background-information mistakes

Chapter 1: What is introductory background information?

Chapter 2: Which background elements are important?

Chapter 3: How can I write background information effectively?

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This third and final chapter about writing background information for the introductory paragraph of an academic essay focuses on the general tips and advice that (if followed carefully) should lead to more effective writing, which we’ve organised into five key areas. Once you’ve read and understood these five pieces of advice, you may wish to then unlock our beginner-, intermediate- and advanced-level worksheets to check your understanding of this topic.

1. Consider the Elements

As was described in some detail in Chapter 2, there are four key elements which may be included as introductory background information , which are (a) introducing the topic, (b) providing a hook, (c) defining key terms, and (d) highlighting topic importance. An effective writer should know when to vary both the length and inclusion of these elements depending upon the topic of their essay . If, for example, the subject matter of your essay lacks subject-specific vocabulary , then perhaps you shouldn’t worry about defining any terminology. Likewise, should your essay focus be on something important or significant – such as global warming or achieving world peace, then remember to detail this significance clearly for your reader.

2. Include Key Sources

One aspect of writing background information that students often neglect is the inclusion of key sources . First remember that sources should almost always be included in introductory background information, particularly when providing key statistics, definitions or theoretical concepts. Remind yourself here that referencing is intended to not only provide acknowledgement to the sources used and to avoid plagiarism , but to also assist the reader in locating those sources more easily.

Another consideration when citing sources during the introduction is to make sure that the key research for that specific topic has been included. Which authors and sources conducted the initial investigations about that topic, for example? And if you’re evaluating a theory, then which sources posited that theory first, and which later sources further developed those concepts? As is shown below, it may also be worth including a key multiple-source citation within your introduction:

3. Be Concise but Comprehensive

The third piece of advice about writing effective background information reminds the writer to be concise but also comprehensive. It’s not easy to find the right balance between including as few words as possible while still making sure that all the information necessary to sufficiently contextualise your essay has also been provided. One way of achieving this might be to first include all of the key information that your introduction requires without concerning yourself with aspects of concision. Once written, a writer is then able to carefully edit their work, rewriting any phrases or sentences that are able to carry the same meaning but in fewer words. Ultimately, by remembering the concept that academic writing requires the clear and concise conveyance of a writer’s ideas and arguments , you should be on the right path to academic success. 

4. Be Specific but Relevant

Two additional and important aspects of academic writing are specificity and relevance. It’s no secret that to write effectively, you should try to avoid having vague language throughout your essay – particularly in the introduction . The more specific a writer can be without providing unnecessary detail, the clearer and less ambiguous their writing will appear and therefore the more convincing their argument will likely be.

At the same time as being specific, a writer should try to be ruthless and critical in whether or not their background information is strictly relevant to their essay question and thesis statement . Ultimately, if such information lacks relevance, then those details should be deleted without question or repurposed elsewhere. Beyond a sentence or two to set the context, one good rule here is to avoid mentioning anything in your background that isn’t then further explored in the body section of your essay . Remember that most persuasive essays do not have the word count available for providing description within the body paragraphs, and so any concept that requires explanation should be briefly introduced and explained in the introductory background information first. 

5. Edit Carefully

Finally, as with all aspects of essay writing and academic assessments in general, an effective writer should always remember to edit and proofread their work carefully. Although even experienced writers make occasional typos and produce minor errors, non-native speakers of English also often make mistakes with other aspects of the language – such as word forms or subject-verb agreement . With this in mind, try to make sure that you, and perhaps also a peer, look carefully over your writing before the final submission deadline.

To highlight more clearly to you what might happen if the five tips we’ve outlined above are not followed, we’ve provided below a modified version of our Chapter 1 background information . This modified example demonstrates ineffective background that lacks sources , concision , specificity, relevance and careful editing :

Foreign Aid is Effective in the African Continent. Discuss.

The question of whether a country should provide assistance to a nation is not a contemporary one. 1 In fact, recent evidence suggests that cultures as ancient as the Egyptians may have been at war with their foreign neighbours on a yearly basis (Smith, 2016). 2 Something that may be taken as being somewhat ironic is that the majority of countries and nations that now depend upon foreign AID and investment exist firmly within the many countries that make up the African continent. 3 AID, or Assisting to International Developing, is however an relatively recent conceptual, with $1.7 trillions now spent annually on providing international support for little affluence countrys. 4 Many researchers have claimed that as much as 65% of this has failed to achieve its intended purpose. 5 With poverty levels increased year up to year, the questions off whether Africa has a promising future is an importance one.

To reference this reader:

Academic Marker (2022) Background Information . Available at: https://academicmarker.com/essay-writing/introductory-paragraphs/background-information/ (Accessed: Date Month Year).

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Organizing Your Social Sciences Research Paper

• Background Information
• Purpose of Guide
• Design Flaws to Avoid
• Independent and Dependent Variables
• Glossary of Research Terms
• Reading Research Effectively
• Narrowing a Topic Idea
• Broadening a Topic Idea
• Extending the Timeliness of a Topic Idea
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• Making an Outline
• Paragraph Development
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• Evaluating Sources
• Primary Sources
• Secondary Sources
• Tiertiary Sources
• Scholarly vs. Popular Publications
• Qualitative Methods
• Quantitative Methods
• Insiderness
• Using Non-Textual Elements
• Limitations of the Study
• Common Grammar Mistakes
• Writing Concisely
• Avoiding Plagiarism
• Footnotes or Endnotes?
• Further Readings
• Generative AI and Writing
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Background information identifies and describes the history and nature of a well-defined research problem with reference to contextualizing existing literature. The background information should indicate the root of the problem being studied, appropriate context of the problem in relation to theory, research, and/or practice , its scope, and the extent to which previous studies have successfully investigated the problem, noting, in particular, where gaps exist that your study attempts to address. Background information does not replace the literature review section of a research paper; it is intended to place the research problem within a specific context and an established plan for its solution.

Fitterling, Lori. Researching and Writing an Effective Background Section of a Research Paper. Kansas City University of Medicine & Biosciences; Creating a Research Paper: How to Write the Background to a Study. DurousseauElectricalInstitute.com; Background Information: Definition of Background Information. Literary Devices Definition and Examples of Literary Terms.

Importance of Having Enough Background Information

Background information expands upon the key points stated in the beginning of your introduction but is not intended to be the main focus of the paper. It generally supports the question, what is the most important information the reader needs to understand before continuing to read the paper? Sufficient background information helps the reader determine if you have a basic understanding of the research problem being investigated and promotes confidence in the overall quality of your analysis and findings. This information provides the reader with the essential context needed to conceptualize the research problem and its significance before moving on to a more thorough analysis of prior research.

Forms of contextualization included in background information can include describing one or more of the following:

• Cultural -- placed within the learned behavior of a specific group or groups of people.
• Economic -- of or relating to systems of production and management of material wealth and/or business activities.
• Gender -- located within the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with being self-identified as male, female, or other form of  gender expression.
• Historical -- the time in which something takes place or was created and how the condition of time influences how you interpret it.
• Interdisciplinary -- explanation of theories, concepts, ideas, or methodologies borrowed from other disciplines applied to the research problem rooted in a discipline other than the discipline where your paper resides.
• Philosophical -- clarification of the essential nature of being or of phenomena as it relates to the research problem.
• Physical/Spatial -- reflects the meaning of space around something and how that influences how it is understood.
• Political -- concerns the environment in which something is produced indicating it's public purpose or agenda.
• Social -- the environment of people that surrounds something's creation or intended audience, reflecting how the people associated with something use and interpret it.
• Temporal -- reflects issues or events of, relating to, or limited by time. Concerns past, present, or future contextualization and not just a historical past.

Background information can also include summaries of important research studies . This can be a particularly important element of providing background information if an innovative or groundbreaking study about the research problem laid a foundation for further research or there was a key study that is essential to understanding your arguments. The priority is to summarize for the reader what is known about the research problem before you conduct the analysis of prior research. This is accomplished with a general summary of the foundational research literature [with citations] that document findings that inform your study's overall aims and objectives.

NOTE : Research studies cited as part of the background information of your introduction should not include very specific, lengthy explanations. This should be discussed in greater detail in your literature review section. If you find a study requiring lengthy explanation, consider moving it to the literature review section.

ANOTHER NOTE : In some cases, your paper's introduction only needs to introduce the research problem, explain its significance, and then describe a road map for how you are going to address the problem; the background information basically forms the introduction part of your literature review. That said, while providing background information is not required, including it in the introduction is a way to highlight important contextual information that could otherwise be hidden or overlooked by the reader if placed in the literature review section.

Background of the Problem Section: What do you Need to Consider? Anonymous. Harvard University; Hopkins, Will G. How to Write a Research Paper. SPORTSCIENCE, Perspectives/Research Resources. Department of Physiology and School of Physical Education, University of Otago, 1999; Green, L. H. How to Write the Background/Introduction Section. Physics 499 Powerpoint slides. University of Illinois; Pyrczak, Fred. Writing Empirical Research Reports: A Basic Guide for Students of the Social and Behavioral Sciences . 8th edition. Glendale, CA: Pyrczak Publishing, 2014; Stevens, Kathleen C. “Can We Improve Reading by Teaching Background Information?.” Journal of Reading 25 (January 1982): 326-329; Woodall, W. Gill. Writing the Background and Significance Section. Senior Research Scientist and Professor of Communication. Center on Alcoholism, Substance Abuse, and Addictions. University of New Mexico.

Structure and Writing Style

Providing background information in the introduction of a research paper serves as a bridge that links the reader to the research problem . Precisely how long and in-depth this bridge should be is largely dependent upon how much information you think the reader will need to know in order to fully understand the problem being discussed and to appreciate why the issues you are investigating are important.

From another perspective, the length and detail of background information also depends on the degree to which you need to demonstrate to your professor how much you understand the research problem. Keep this in mind because providing pertinent background information can be an effective way to demonstrate that you have a clear grasp of key issues, debates, and concepts related to your overall study.

The structure and writing style of your background information can vary depending upon the complexity of your research and/or the nature of the assignment. However, in most cases it should be limited to only one to two paragraphs in your introduction.

Given this, here are some questions to consider while writing this part of your introduction :

• Are there concepts, terms, theories, or ideas that may be unfamiliar to the reader and, thus, require additional explanation?
• Are there historical elements that need to be explored in order to provide needed context, to highlight specific people, issues, or events, or to lay a foundation for understanding the emergence of a current issue or event?
• Are there theories, concepts, or ideas borrowed from other disciplines or academic traditions that may be unfamiliar to the reader and therefore require further explanation?
• Is there a key study or small set of studies that set the stage for understanding the topic and frames why it is important to conduct further research on the topic?
• Y our study uses a method of analysis never applied before;
• Your study investigates a very esoteric or complex research problem;
• Your study introduces new or unique variables that need to be taken into account ; or,
• Your study relies upon analyzing unique texts or documents, such as, archival materials or primary documents like diaries or personal letters that do not represent the established body of source literature on the topic?

Almost all introductions to a research problem require some contextualizing, but the scope and breadth of background information varies depending on your assumption about the reader's level of prior knowledge . However, despite this assessment, background information should be brief and succinct and sets the stage for the elaboration of critical points or in-depth discussion of key issues in the literature review section of your paper.

Writing Tip

Background Information vs. the Literature Review

Incorporating background information into the introduction is intended to provide the reader with critical information about the topic being studied, such as, highlighting and expanding upon foundational studies conducted in the past, describing important historical events that inform why and in what ways the research problem exists, defining key components of your study [concepts, people, places, phenomena] and/or placing the research problem within a particular context. Although introductory background information can often blend into the literature review portion of the paper, essential background information should not be considered a substitute for a comprehensive review and synthesis of relevant research literature.

Hart, Cris. Doing a Literature Review: Releasing the Social Science Research Imagination . Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 1998; Pyrczak, Fred. Writing Empirical Research Reports: A Basic Guide for Students of the Social and Behavioral Sciences . 8th edition. Glendale, CA: Pyrczak Publishing, 2014.

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Discursive essay IELTS task 2

Home  »  IELTS academic task 2 » Discursive essay IELTS task 2

Writing a discursive essay can be a part of your  task 2 exam , therefore you want to make sure you know how to do it to the best of your abilities. To help you get there we have created a step-by-step plan explaining how to structure your discursive essay in order to reach your target band score.

A discursive essay will look at both sides, whereas an argumentative essay takes a stance, a position, and will argue for this position.

An argumentative essay can be used for a lot of IELTS essay answers, however if you see the ‘discuss both views, and give your opinion’ then you should be writing a discursive essay.

Definition of discursive essay?

A discursive essay explores different opinions on a specific topic or idea.

The writer gives reasons and facts to support each argument he talks about. He then may provide his own opinion based on his exploration of these different perspectives.

How to structure a discursive essay?

When writing a discursive essay for your exam, for a band 7 or above the general consensus is around 350 -400 words, within a time frame of 40 minutes.

We recommend splitting your discursive essay into four paragraphs. This way you’ll get around ten minutes to prepare and write each paragraph.

Paragraph one: introduction

You should always begin your discursive essay with an introduction.

Structure your introduction like this: 1. A background statement. 2. A more detailed background statement. 3. A summary of the opinions (for and against) this topic.

Electric cars will fully replace petrol and diesel-fuelled cars in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

1. A background statement about the topic:

Electric cars are currently being developed by many well-known automotive companies.

2. A more detailed background statement about the topic:

Many people still question whether electric cars are a feasible replacement for petrol and diesel-fueled vehicles.

3. A summary of the opinions (for and against) this topic:

In this essay I will explore the opinions for and against the use of electric cars and their replacement of petrol and diesel-fuelled cars.

Paragraph two: argument/opinion 1 (for the topic)

In paragraph two you can discuss the first argument/opinion (the argument for the topic).

Structure paragraph two like this: 1. Opinion / argument 1 (for the topic) 2. One example to support this opinion/argument 3. A concluding sentence summing up the opinion/argument 1

Try to use connectors like:

• On one hand
• Some people believe
• It is true that

1. Opinion/argument 1: On one hand, electric cars are environmentally friend. They require no non-renewable energy and are clean to run and maintain on the road. 2. One example to support this opinion/argument: To support this opinion, recent studies show that the use of electric cars helps to minimize pollution in urban and rural areas. 3. A concluding sentence summing up the opinion/argument 1: Clearly, electric cars are one way to tackle ecological concerns and support a ‘greener’ environment.

TIP: A lot of students get confused about giving personal examples. The question prompt is misleading! Give examples that you know of, not examples from your personal experience.

These examples help you develop your argument and act as supporting evidence for your position.

It is fine to mention external sources such as a ‘a recent scientific report’, ‘an academic paper from Russia’, etc. Here is a full tutorial all about giving examples .

Paragraph three: argument/opinion 2 (against the topic)

In paragraph three write about the opinion/argument 2 (usually going against the topic).

Structure your paragraph three like this: 1. Opinion / argument 2 (against the topic) 2. One example to support this opinion/argument 3. A concluding sentence summing up the opinion/argument 2

Use phrases like:

• On the other hand
• Other people believe that

1. Opinion/argument 2 ( against the topic): On the other hand, electric cars are inconvenient to maintain and to dispose of. 2. One example to support this opinion/argument: The driver of an electric vehicle must recharge his car approximately every 100 kilometres. In addition, the plutonium battery of an electric car is toxic to the environment and must be safely disposed of through expensive means. 3. A concluding sentence summing up the opinion/argument 2: In brief, scientists are still exploring ways to produce these types of vehicles so that they are easier to manufacture, maintain and use safely.

Paragraph four: concluding paragraph

The last paragraph of your discursive essay should contain a summary of both previous opinions, and be ended with the writer’s opinion.

The last paragraph should be structured like this:

1. Summary of both previous opinions. Use key phrases like:

• To summarize
• To provide a recap of the two perspectives

2. The writer’s opinion. Use language like:

• In my opinion
• I feel strongly that

3. Suggestion and Conclusion

1. Summary of both previous opinions: To sum up, it’s evident that there are both pros and cons in the development of electric vehicles. 2. The writer’s opinion: Despite the expense of development and the inconvenience of recharging electric cars, I still believe strongly that it is well worth the investment to continue research and production of these vehicles. 3. Suggestion and Conclusion: To conclude, we should remain open, supportive to the use of electric cars and to their development in the future.

TIP: Avoid informal language such as contractions and casual language patterns.

YES: It is said diesel fuelled cars are far superior for rural areas.

NO: It’s said diesel fuelled cars just totally crush it in rural areas.

The full example of a discursive essay written following our structure

Electric cars are currently being developed by many well-known automotive companies. Many people still question whether electric cars are a feasible replacement for petrol and diesel-fuelled vehicles. In this essay, I will explore the opinions for and against the use of electric cars and their replacement of petrol and diesel-fuelled cars. On one hand, electric cars are environmentally friend. They require no non-renewable energy and are clean to run and maintain on the road. To support this opinion, recent studies show that the use of electric cars helps to minimize pollution in urban and rural areas. Clearly, electric cars are one way to tackle ecological concerns and support a ‘greener’ environment. On the other hand, electric cars are inconvenient to maintain and to dispose of. The driver of an electric vehicle must recharge his car approximately every 100 kilometres. In addition, the plutonium battery of an electric car is toxic to the environment and must be safely disposed of through expensive means. In brief, scientists are still exploring ways to produce these types of vehicles so that they are easier to manufacture, maintain and use safely. To sum up, it’s evident that there are both pros and cons in the development of electric vehicles. Despite the expense of development and the inconvenience of recharging electric cars, I still believe strongly that it is well worth the investment to continue research and production of these vehicles. To conclude, we should remain open, supportive to the use of electric cars and to their development in the future.

For an introduction on how to start IELTS writing task 2 click here :

For more practice, take a look at our task 2 sample essays , a band 9 IELTS essay or our essay correction service to help you improve your band score!

Useful Tips

• To get ideas and opinions for the essays you write you need to fill your head with news about current events, alternatively you can read my answers and ideas in the section below.
• Good grammar is by far more important than the exam skills. It is impossible to get points for Task Response if the examiner cannot understand what has been written. Getting feedback on your writing is the fastest way to improve.
• Reviewing recent task two questions can help build your ‘essay idea muscle’. Academic papers are also useful but can be difficult to absorb quickly (unless you just read the summary or conclusion!).

Discursive Essay Topics and Answers 

The topics will be the same as all the other IELTS writing task 2 topics you will face. These include:

IELTS essay topics and answers: education

IELTS essay topics and answer: globalisation

IELTS essay topics and answer: travel and transport

IELTS essay topics and answer: employment

IELTS essay topics and answer: employment (skills)

IELTS topic and answer: education

IELTS essay topics and answer: gender issues

IELTS topic: gender issues (career)

IELTS essay topics and answer: technology

IELTS essay topic and answer: health

IELTS essay topics and answer: society

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Tutorials and Tips to Prepare for Task 2

• How to Get Ideas for Task 2
• Band 9 Sample Essay
• Extremely Useful Sentences for Task 2
• Five Powerful Sentence Structures to use in your IELTS Writing test
• How to use comparisons in Task 2
• Concession Paragraphs for “do I agree/disagree essays”
• How to write an IELTS Essay Conclusion
• IELTS Cohesion and Coherence
• 3 ways to paraphrase for your Task 2 introduction
• Marking Criteria for IELTS Writing
• Topics Sentences for Your Essays
• 7 Ways to Improve your Sentences in Your IELTS Essays
• Grammar for IELTS Writing
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What is the Background of the Study and How to Write It

What is the Background of the Study in Research? 

The background of the study is the first section of a research paper and gives context surrounding the research topic. The background explains to the reader where your research journey started, why you got interested in the topic, and how you developed the research question that you will later specify. That means that you first establish the context of the research you did with a general overview of the field or topic and then present the key issues that drove your decision to study the specific problem you chose.

Once the reader understands where you are coming from and why there was indeed a need for the research you are going to present in the following—because there was a gap in the current research, or because there is an obvious problem with a currently used process or technology—you can proceed with the formulation of your research question and summarize how you are going to address it in the rest of your manuscript.

Why is the Background of the Study Important?

No matter how surprising and important the findings of your study are, if you do not provide the reader with the necessary background information and context, they will not be able to understand your reasons for studying the specific problem you chose and why you think your study is relevant. And more importantly, an editor who does not share your enthusiasm for your work (because you did not fill them in on all the important details) will very probably not even consider your manuscript worthy of their and the reviewers’ time and will immediately send it back to you.

To avoid such desk rejections , you need to make sure you pique the reader’s interest and help them understand the contribution of your work to the specific field you study, the more general research community, or the public. Introducing the study background is crucial to setting the scene for your readers.

Table of Contents:

• What is “Background Information” in a Research Paper?
• What Should the Background of a Research Paper Include?
• Where Does the Background Section Go in Your Paper?

Background of the Study Structure

Before writing your study background, it is essential to understand what to include. The following elements should all be included in the background and are presented in greater detail in the next section:

• A general overview of the topic and why it is important (overlaps with establishing the “importance of the topic” in the Introduction)
• The current state of the research on the topic or on related topics in the field
• Controversies about current knowledge or specific past studies that undergird your research methodology
• Any claims or assumptions that have been made by researchers, institutions, or politicians that might need to be clarified
• Methods and techniques used in the study or from which your study deviated in some way

Presenting the Study Background

As you begin introducing your background, you first need to provide a general overview and include the main issues concerning the topic. Depending on whether you do “basic” (with the aim of providing further knowledge) or “applied” research (to establish new techniques, processes, or products), this is either a literature review that summarizes all relevant earlier studies in the field or a description of the process (e.g., vote counting) or practice (e.g., diagnosis of a specific disease) that you think is problematic or lacking and needs a solution.

Example s of a general overview

If you study the function of a Drosophila gene, for example, you can explain to the reader why and for whom the study of fly genetics is relevant, what is already known and established, and where you see gaps in the existing literature. If you investigated how the way universities have transitioned into online teaching since the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic has affected students’ learning progress, then you need to present a summary of what changes have happened around the world, what the effects of those changes have been so far, and where you see problems that need to be addressed. Note that you need to provide sources for every statement and every claim you make here, to establish a solid foundation of knowledge for your own study. 

Describing the current state of knowledge

When the reader understands the main issue(s), you need to fill them in more specifically on the current state of the field (in basic research) or the process/practice/product use you describe (in practical/applied research). Cite all relevant studies that have already reported on the Drosophila gene you are interested in, have failed to reveal certain functions of it, or have suggested that it might be involved in more processes than we know so far. Or list the reports from the education ministries of the countries you are interested in and highlight the data that shows the need for research into the effects of the Corona-19 pandemic on teaching and learning.

Discussing controversies, claims, and assumptions

Are there controversies regarding your topic of interest that need to be mentioned and/or addressed? For example, if your research topic involves an issue that is politically hot, you can acknowledge this here. Have any earlier claims or assumptions been made, by other researchers, institutions, or politicians, that you think need to be clarified?

Mentioning methodologies and approaches

While putting together these details, you also need to mention methodologies : What methods/techniques have been used so far to study what you studied and why are you going to either use the same or a different approach? Are any of the methods included in the literature review flawed in such a way that your study takes specific measures to correct or update? While you shouldn’t spend too much time here justifying your methods (this can be summarized briefly in the rationale of the study at the end of the Introduction and later in the Discussion section), you can engage with the crucial methods applied in previous studies here first.

When you have established the background of the study of your research paper in such a logical way, then the reader should have had no problem following you from the more general information you introduced first to the specific details you added later. You can now easily lead over to the relevance of your research, explain how your work fits into the bigger picture, and specify the aims and objectives of your study. This latter part is usually considered the “ statement of the problem ” of your study. Without a solid research paper background, this statement will come out of nowhere for the reader and very probably raise more questions than you were planning to answer.   

Where does the study background section go in a paper?

Unless you write a research proposal or some kind of report that has a specific “Background” chapter, the background of your study is the first part of your introduction section . This is where you put your work in context and provide all the relevant information the reader needs to follow your rationale. Make sure your background has a logical structure and naturally leads into the statement of the problem at the very end of the introduction so that you bring everything together for the reader to judge the relevance of your work and the validity of your approach before they dig deeper into the details of your study in the methods section .

Consider Receiving Professional Editing Services

Now that you know how to write a background section for a research paper, you might be interested in our AI text editor at Wordvice AI. And be sure to receive professional editing services , including academic editing and proofreading , before submitting your manuscript to journals. On the Wordvice academic resources website, you can also find many more articles and other resources that can help you with writing the other parts of your research paper , with making a research paper outline before you put everything together, or with writing an effective cover letter once you are ready to submit.

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Background Information in an Essay: How to Write and Example

Background Information in an Essay

When assigned an essay, it is advisable to assume that your target audience does not know anything about your topic hence the reason why you should provide background information.

This enhances your audience’s understanding of the essay topic and subject matter. They will know what to expect in the body paragraphs of the essay.

Even though the essay has been assigned to you by your instructor and they already know the expectations, it is important to provide some background information in the introduction. 

What is the Background of an Essay?

A background in an essay is the part or point within the essay where you provide contextual knowledge or introductory information to the readers to help them understand the essay’s subject matter. 

The background sets the stage for the main arguments or discussion that will be presented in the essay. 

What is Background Information in an Essay?

“Background information” in an essay is the content that is provided within an essay’s background to provide the readers with introductory information or contextual knowledge. 

The background information helps orient your readers and equip them with the relevant foundational knowledge and context to understand the main discussions and arguments that follow within the body paragraphs. 

When you provide the background information within your essay, you are establishing to your readers the relevance of your topic. This gives them the relevant information to engage with the content of your essay.   

Also Read : Can a Literature Review have Pictures, Diagrams or Charts?

How to Write Background Information in an Essay

1. identify the key elements.

When writing background information in an essay, it is important to determine the key aspects of your topic that need to be addressed within the section.

Normally, the background information of an essay includes elements like a brief introduction of your topic, key definitions and concepts, historical context, relevant data or facts, and an overview of the existing research relating to your topic. 

2. Conduct Research and Gather Relevant Information

Before writing the background information of your essay, ensure that you have conducted thorough research so that you can gather the relevant information and sources that are related to your topic. 

It would be difficult to briefly introduce the topic and provide a brief historical context without understanding your topic through research. If possible start discussion posts on relevant platforms to gather further insights.

You should only utilize reputable sources such as scholarly articles and journals, books, and credible websites so that the information you provide in the background is accurate and reliable. 

3. Organize the Information

Once you have researched and gathered the relevant information concerning your topic, organize it in such a way that it is logical and coherent. 

Put into consideration the flow of the information in addition to how it will effectively support the main discussion or argument in your essay. 

4. Begin with a Broad Introduction

When writing the background information section of the essay, start with a broad introduction to your topic. 

Give a brief overview of the topic’s subject matter and its significance. This will set the context of the essay and grab your readers’ attention. 

5. Give Historical Context if Applicable

If your essay’s topic has some historical aspects, provide relevant historical background information. 

Here, you should provide key historical developments, events, or circumstances that will help your readers understand the current issue or situation presented in your topic. 

6. Define Key Concepts and Terms

Introduce and define any specialized jargon, terms, or concepts that may be unfamiliar to your readers. 

This ensures that the readers have a clear understanding of the terminologies and concepts used throughout the essay. 

7. Present Relevant Data or Facts

Include relevant facts, data, or statistics that will help in establishing the magnitude or scope of your topic. This can give a qualitative or quantitative perspective on the issues discussed. 

8. Summarize Existing Research if Applicable

When your essay is part of a greater academic discourse, briefly summarize the key arguments or findings from relevant scholarly sources . 

This shows that you acknowledge the existing body of knowledge concerning your topic and highlights your essay’s contribution to the academic discourse. 

In summary, when you are writing the background information in an essay, it is imperative to ensure that you present it clearly and concisely in addition to being relevant to the essay’s topic. 

Avoid spending a lot of time on it and providing too much information and details.  

Also Read : Time to Write a Thesis or Dissertation: Tips to Finish Fast

How to Write Background Section in Research Writing

The background section in research writing differs from that of an essay because it gives a more in-depth and comprehensive review of the existing research and literature related to your topic. 

When writing the background section in research, you should:

Conduct a Literature Review

You should conduct a thorough literature review before writing the background section.

This will help you identify and father relevant scholarly sources like books, journal articles, and conference papers. 

Organize the Literature

Analyze and organize the gathered literature per the relevant theories, themes, or key research findings. 

Note the major concepts and gaps within the existing research that your study wishes to address. 

Provide a Historical Context

Provide a brief historical context of your topic that traces the evolution of the research question or development of the field. 

This helps your readers understand how your research fits within the broader scholarly discourse, in addition to how the ideas have progressed. 

Present Key Concepts and Theories

Briefly introduce and explain the key concepts, models, and theories that are relevant to the research. 

This shows that you understand the theoretical framework that underpins your research. It also provides your research question’s foundation. 

Highlight Research Questions and Gaps

Identify the limitations or gaps within the existing literature that your study aims to fill. 

State the objectives or research questions of your study and explain how they will address the identified gaps. 

Justify your Research’s Significance

Explain the relevance and significance of your research within the larger practical or academic context. 

Demonstrate how your study contributes to existing knowledge, addresses a practical problem, or advances the field. 

Also Read : Should a Literature Review be Critical? Tips How to do it

Background Information Example

An example of background information from an essay with the topic “The Benefits of Exercise on Mental Health” is:

“Exercise has long been recognized as a fundamental component of a healthy lifestyle. Beyond its physical benefits, several studies have shown that exercise also has a positive impact on mental health. 

Regular physical activity has been linked to improved mood, reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression, and enhanced overall well-being. Research has shown that exercise can mitigate the risk of developing mental health disorders. It has been associated with a lower incidence of conditions such as depression and anxiety, in addition to playing a crucial role in the management and treatment of these conditions as well.

Understanding the benefits of exercise on mental health is essential for individuals seeking to improve their overall well-being. By incorporating regular physical activity into their routines, individuals can experience improved mood, reduced stress levels, and enhanced mental resilience.

This essay explores the existing literature on the relationship between exercise and mental health, highlighting the specific mechanisms through which exercise positively affects mental well-being. The aim is to further emphasize the importance of exercise as a tool for promoting mental health and well-being”.

Also Read : How to Tell If a Research Paper Is Good: Tips from A to Z

Do’s & Don’ts when Writing Background Information

As earlier discussed in this article, the Do’s when writing background information includes providing the necessary context, including relevant facts and data, citing credible sources, focusing on relevance to the topic, and being concise. 

Do not include irrelevant information or overgeneralize, do not plagiarize, and do not overwhelm your readers with too much information or details since they will be provided in the body. 

Josh Jasen or JJ as we fondly call him, is a senior academic editor at Grade Bees in charge of the writing department. When not managing complex essays and academic writing tasks, Josh is busy advising students on how to pass assignments. In his spare time, he loves playing football or walking with his dog around the park.

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Background Information

Definition of background information.

As the name suggests, background information means all information that a reader requires to increase his awareness of the topic an essay is going to explain. Background information is placed shortly after the hook or attention grabber. Both are intertwined, as the hook cannot be separated from the background information.

Both are connected with a transition word. Usually, in a five-paragraph essay, background information comprises three to five sentences . However, in a longer essay, it could be more than 10 sentences or even a full paragraph. Generally it needs to be as long as necessary to inform readers on the topic. There are as many types of background information as there are types of essay , some of which are as follows:

Types of Background Information

• Description Type Description type of background information often describes the topic through sensory description involving all five senses: sense of touch, sense of smell, sense of sight, sense of hearing, and sense of taste. Words are used to make the reader experience any of these or all.
• Process Type In a process type of background information, a writer provides an introduction to the topic, telling readers what process will be used to achieve a goal, or complete a task.
• Definition Type In a definition type of background information, readers become aware of the definition of the topic, as well as how it differs from other such similar terms and words.
• Classification / Division Type In a classification / division type of background information, readers are informed about the topic, how it is classified and divided, and what further derivations it could have. These are further explained in body paragraphs .
• Argumentative Type In an argumentative type of background information, readers are informed about the topic, the arguments being made in support of the question about the topic ,and opposing arguments.
• Persuasive Type A persuasive type of background information attempts to persuade the reader, by giving information about a question.

Examples of Background Information in Literature

Example #1:  politics and english language (by george orwell).

“ Now , it is clear that the decline of a language must ultimately have political and economic causes: it is not due simply to the bad influence of this or that individual writer. But an effect can become a cause, reinforcing the original cause and producing the same effect in an intensified form, and so on indefinitely. A man may take to drink because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks. It is rather the same thing that is happening to the English language.”

This is the second paragraph of an essay by George Orwell . It clearly tells how English language has faced decline in its standard due to certain causes. It is a good background to the topic of the essay “Politics and English Language.”

Example #2: I Twitter, Therefore I am (by Peggy Orenstein)

“I came late to Twitter. I might have skipped the phenomenon altogether, but I have a book coming out this winter , and publishers, scrambling to promote 360,000- character tomes in a 140-character world, push authors to rally their “tweeps” to the cause. Leaving aside the question of whether that actually boosts sales, I felt pressure to produce. I quickly mastered the Twitterati’s unnatural self-consciousness: processing my experience instantaneously, packaging life as I lived it.”

This is the background information of a beautiful essay by Peggy Orenstein, which she wrote for The New York Times . This background information shows that she cannot stop tweeting, as it has become her second nature.

Example #3: Is Google Making Us Stupid (by Nicholas Carr)

“For me, as for others, the Net is becoming a universal medium, the conduit for most of the information that flows through my eyes and ears and into my mind. The advantages of having immediate access to such an incredibly rich store of information are many, and they’ve been widely described and duly applauded.”

These are just a few lines of background information in the essay of Nicholas Carr. These lines clearly show that the essay is about the Internet. As the essay is quite long, background information comprises an entire paragraph.

Function of Background Information

Background information serves the purpose of making readers aware of what is going to be discussed in the essay. It makes readers conscious of the pros and cons of the topic, and readies them to explore it further. It also presents a good assessment of what is to come. In a way, it enables readers to predict what is to come next, and how it is to be presented.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, what is a personal statement everything you need to know about the college essay.

College Admissions , College Essays

In addition to standardized test scores and transcripts, a personal statement or essay is a required part of many college applications. The personal statement can be one of the most stressful parts of the application process because it's the most open ended.

In this guide, I'll answer the question, "What is a personal statement?" I'll talk through common college essay topics and what makes for an effective personal statement.

College Essay Glossary

Even the terminology can be confusing if you aren't familiar with it, so let's start by defining some terms:

Personal statement —an essay you write to show a college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. It's worth noting that, unlike "college essay," this term is used for application essays for graduate school as well.

College essay —basically the same as a personal statement (I'll be using the terms interchangeably).

Essay prompt —a question or statement that your college essay is meant to respond to.

Supplemental essay —an extra school or program-specific essay beyond the basic personal statement.

Many colleges ask for only one essay. However, some schools do ask you to respond to multiple prompts or to provide supplemental essays in addition to a primary personal statement.

Either way, don't let it stress you out! This guide will cover everything you need to know about the different types of college essays and get you started thinking about how to write a great one:

• Why colleges ask for an essay
• What kinds of essay questions you'll see
• What sets great essays apart
• Tips for writing your own essay

Why Do Colleges Ask For an Essay?

There are a couple of reasons that colleges ask applicants to submit an essay, but the basic idea is that it gives them more information about you, especially who you are beyond grades and test scores.

#1: Insight Into Your Personality

The most important role of the essay is to give admissions committees a sense of your personality and what kind of addition you'd be to their school's community . Are you inquisitive? Ambitious? Caring? These kinds of qualities will have a profound impact on your college experience, but they're hard to determine based on a high school transcript.

Basically, the essay contextualizes your application and shows what kind of person you are outside of your grades and test scores . Imagine two students, Jane and Tim: they both have 3.5 GPAs and 1200s on the SAT. Jane lives in Colorado and is the captain of her track team; Tim lives in Vermont and regularly contributes to the school paper. They both want to be doctors, and they both volunteer at the local hospital.

As similar as Jane and Tim seem on paper, in reality, they're actually quite different, and their unique perspectives come through in their essays. Jane writes about how looking into her family history for a school project made her realize how the discovery of modern medical treatments like antibiotics and vaccines had changed the world and drove her to pursue a career as a medical researcher. Tim, meanwhile, recounts a story about how a kind doctor helped him overcome his fear of needles, an interaction that reminded him of the value of empathy and inspired him to become a family practitioner. These two students may seem outwardly similar but their motivations and personalities are very different.

Without an essay, your application is essentially a series of numbers: a GPA, SAT scores, the number of hours spent preparing for quiz bowl competitions. The personal statement is your chance to stand out as an individual.

#2: Evidence of Writing Skills

A secondary purpose of the essay is to serve as a writing sample and help colleges see that you have the skills needed to succeed in college classes. The personal statement is your best chance to show off your writing , so take the time to craft a piece you're really proud of.

That said, don't panic if you aren't a strong writer. Admissions officers aren't expecting you to write like Joan Didion; they just want to see that you can express your ideas clearly.

No matter what, your essay should absolutely not include any errors or typos .

#3: Explanation of Extenuating Circumstances

For some students, the essay is also a chance to explain factors affecting their high school record. Did your grades drop sophomore year because you were dealing with a family emergency? Did you miss out on extracurriculars junior year because of an extended medical absence? Colleges want to know if you struggled with a serious issue that affected your high school record , so make sure to indicate any relevant circumstances on your application.

Keep in mind that in some cases there will be a separate section for you to address these types of issues, as well as any black marks on your record like expulsions or criminal charges.

#4: Your Reasons for Applying to the School

Many colleges ask you to write an essay or paragraph about why you're applying to their school specifically . In asking these questions, admissions officers are trying to determine if you're genuinely excited about the school and whether you're likely to attend if accepted .

I'll talk more about this type of essay below.

What Kind of Questions Do Colleges Ask?

Thankfully, applications don't simply say, "Please include an essay about yourself"; they include a question or prompt that you're asked to respond to . These prompts are generally pretty open-ended and can be approached in a lot of different ways .

Nonetheless, most questions fall into a few main categories. Let's go through each common type of prompt, with examples from the Common Application, the University of California application, and a few individual schools.

Prompt Type 1: Your Personal History

This sort of question asks you to write about a formative experience, important event, or key relationship from your life . Admissions officers want to understand what is important to you and how your background has shaped you as a person.

These questions are both common and tricky. The most common pit students fall into is trying to tell their entire life stories. It's better to focus in on a very specific point in time and explain why it was meaningful to you.

Common App 1

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Common App 5

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

University of California 2

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

University of California 6

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Prompt Type 2: Facing a Problem

A lot of prompts deal with how you solve problems, how you cope with failure, and how you respond to conflict. College can be difficult, both personally and academically, and admissions committees want to see that you're equipped to face those challenges .

The key to these types of questions is to identify a real problem, failure, or conflict ( not a success in disguise) and show how you adapted and grew from addressing the issue.

Common App 2

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Harvard University 7

The Harvard College Honor Code declares that we “hold honesty as the foundation of our community.” As you consider entering this community that is committed to honesty, please reflect on a time when you or someone you observed had to make a choice about whether to act with integrity and honesty.

Prompt Type 3: Diversity

Most colleges are pretty diverse, with students from a wide range of backgrounds. Essay questions about diversity are designed to help admissions committees understand how you interact with people who are different from you .

In addressing these prompts, you want to show that you're capable of engaging with new ideas and relating to people who may have different beliefs than you.

Common App 3

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Johns Hopkins University

Tell us about an aspect of your identity (e.g., race, gender, sexuality, religion, community) or a life experience that has shaped you as an individual and how that influenced what you’d like to pursue in college at Hopkins.  This can be a future goal or experience that is either [sic] academic, extracurricular, or social.

Duke University Optional 1

We believe a wide range of personal perspectives, beliefs, and lived experiences are essential to making Duke a vibrant and meaningful living and learning community. Feel free to share with us anything in this context that might help us better understand you and what you might bring to our community. 

Prompt Type 4: Your Future Goals

This type of prompt asks about what you want to do in the future: sometimes simply what you'd like to study, sometimes longer-term career goals. Colleges want to understand what you're interested in and how you plan to work towards your goals.

You'll mostly see these prompts if you're applying for a specialized program (like pre-med or engineering) or applying as a transfer student. Some schools also ask for supplementary essays along these lines. 

University of Southern California (Architecture)

Princeton Supplement 1

Prompt Type 5: Why This School

The most common style of supplemental essay is the "why us?" essay, although a few schools with their own application use this type of question as their main prompt. In these essays, you're meant to address the specific reasons you want to go to the school you're applying to .

Whatever you do, don't ever recycle these essays for more than one school.

Chapman University

There are thousands of universities and colleges. Why are you interested in attending Chapman?

Columbia University

Why are you interested in attending Columbia University? We encourage you to consider the aspect(s) that you find unique and compelling about Columbia.

Rice University

Based upon your exploration of Rice University, what elements of the Rice experience appeal to you?

Princeton University

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. How does your own story intersect with these ideals?

Prompt Type 6: Creative Prompts

More selective schools often have supplemental essays with stranger or more unique questions. University of Chicago is notorious for its weird prompts, but it's not the only school that will ask you to think outside the box in addressing its questions.

University of Chicago

“Vlog,” “Labradoodle,” and “Fauxmage.” Language is filled with portmanteaus. Create a new portmanteau and explain why those two things are a “patch” (perfect match).

University of Vermont

Established in Burlington, VT, Ben & Jerry’s is synonymous with both ice cream and social change. The “Save Our Swirled” flavor raises awareness of climate change, and “I Dough, I Dough” celebrates marriage equality. If you worked alongside Ben & Jerry, what charitable flavor would you develop and why?

What Makes a Strong Personal Statement?

OK , so you're clear on what a college essay is, but you're still not sure how to write a good one . To help you get started, I'm going to explain the main things admissions officers look for in students' essays: an engaging perspective, genuine moments, and lively writing .

I've touched on these ideas already, but here, I'll go into more depth about how the best essays stand out from the pack.

Showing Who You Are

A lot of students panic about finding a unique topic, and certainly writing about something unusual like a successful dating app you developed with your friends or your time working as a mall Santa can't hurt you. But what's really important isn't so much what you write about as how you write about it . You need to use your subject to show something deeper about yourself.

Look at the prompts above: you'll notice that they almost all ask you what you learned or how the experience affected you. Whatever topic you pick, you must be able to specifically address how or why it matters to you .

Say a student, Will, was writing about the mall Santa in response to Common App prompt number 2 (the one about failure): Will was a terrible mall Santa. He was way too skinny to be convincing and the kids would always step on his feet. He could easily write 600 very entertaining words describing this experience, but they wouldn't necessarily add up to an effective college essay.

To do that, he'll need to talk about his motivations and his feelings: why he took such a job in the first place and what he did (and didn't) get out of it. Maybe Will took the job because he needed to make some money to go on a school trip and it was the only one he could find. Despite his lack of enthusiasm for screaming children, he kept doing it because he knew if he persevered through the whole holiday season he would have enough money for his trip. Would you rather read "I failed at being a mall Santa" or "Failing as a mall Santa taught me how to persevere no matter what"? Admissions officers definitely prefer the latter.

Ultimately, the best topics are ones that allow you to explain something surprising about yourself .

Since the main point of the essay is to give schools a sense of who you are, you have to open up enough to let them see your personality . Writing a good college essay means being honest about your feelings and experiences even when they aren't entirely positive.

In this context, honesty doesn't mean going on at length about the time you broke into the local pool at night and nearly got arrested, but it does mean acknowledging when something was difficult or upsetting for you. Think about the mall Santa example above. The essay won't work unless the writer genuinely acknowledges that he was a bad Santa and explains why.

Eloquent Writing

As I mentioned above, colleges want to know that you are a strong enough writer to survive in college classes . Can you express your ideas clearly and concisely? Can you employ specific details appropriately and avoid clichés and generalizations? These kinds of skills will serve you well in college (and in life!).

Nonetheless, admissions officers recognize that different students have different strengths. They aren't looking for a poetic magnum opus from someone who wants to be a math major. (Honestly, they aren't expecting a masterwork from anyone , but the basic point stands.) Focus on making sure that your thoughts and personality come through, and don't worry about using fancy vocabulary or complex rhetorical devices.

Above all, make sure that you have zero grammar or spelling errors . Typos indicate carelessness, which will hurt your cause with admissions officers.

Top Five Essay-Writing Tips

Now that you have a sense of what colleges are looking for, let's talk about how you can put this new knowledge into practice as you approach your own essay. Below, I've collected my five best tips from years as a college essay counselor.

#1: Start Early!

No matter how much you want to avoid writing your essay, don't leave it until the last minute . One of the most important parts of the essay writing process is editing, and editing takes a lot of time. You want to be able to put your draft in a drawer for a week and come back to it with fresh eyes. You don't want to be stuck with an essay you don't really like because you have to submit your application tomorrow.

You need plenty of time to experiment and rewrite, so I would recommend starting your essays at least two months before the application deadline . For most students, that means starting around Halloween, but if you're applying early, you'll need to get going closer to Labor Day.

Of course, it's even better to get a head start and begin your planning earlier. Many students like to work on their essays over the summer, when they have more free time, but you should keep in mind that each year's application isn't usually released until August or September. Essay questions often stay the same from year to year, however. If you are looking to get a jump on writing, you can try to confirm with the school (or the Common App) whether the essay questions will be the same as the previous year's.

#2: Pick a Topic You're Genuinely Excited About

One of the biggest mistakes students make is trying to write what they think the committee wants to hear. The truth is that there's no "right answer" when it comes to college essays . T he best topics aren't limited to specific categories like volunteer experiences or winning a tournament. Instead, they're topics that actually matter to the writer .

"OK," you're thinking, "but what does she mean by 'a topic that matters to you'? Because to be perfectly honest, right now, what really matters to me is that fall TV starts up this week, and I have a feeling I shouldn't write about that."

You're not wrong (although some great essays have been written about television ). A great topic isn't just something that you're excited about or that you talk to your friends about; it's something that has had a real, describable effect on your perspective .

This doesn't mean that you should overemphasize how something absolutely changed your life , especially if it really didn't. Instead, try to be as specific and honest as you can about how the experience affected you, what it taught you, or what you got out of it.

Let's go back to the TV idea. Sure, writing an essay about how excited you are for the new season of Stranger Things  probably isn't the quickest way to get yourself into college, but you could write a solid essay (in response to the first type of prompt) about how SpongeBob SquarePants was an integral part of your childhood. However, it's not enough to just explain how much you loved SpongeBob—you must also explain why and how watching the show every day after school affected your life. For example, maybe it was a ritual you shared with your brother, which showed you how even seemingly silly pieces of pop culture can bring people together. Dig beneath the surface to show who you are and how you see the world.

When you write about something you don't really care about, your writing will come out clichéd and uninteresting, and you'll likely struggle to motivate yourself. When you instead write about something that is genuinely important to you, you can make even the most ordinary experiences—learning to swim, eating a meal, or watching TV—engaging .

#3: Focus on Specifics

But how do you write an interesting essay? Focus.

Don't try to tell your entire life story or even the story of an entire weekend; 500–650 words may seem like a lot, but you'll reach that limit quickly if you try to pack every single thing that has happened to you into your essay. If, however, you just touch on a wide range of topics, you'll end up with an essay that reads more like a résumé.

Instead, narrow in on one specific event or idea, and talk about it in more depth . The narrower your topic, the better. For example, writing about your role as Mercutio in your school's production of Romeo and Juliet is too general, but writing about opening night, when everything went wrong, could be a great topic.

Whatever your topic, use details to help draw the reader in and express your unique perspective. But keep in mind that you don't have to include every detail of what you did or thought; stick to the important and illustrative ones.

#4: Use Your Own Voice

College essays aren't academic assignments; you don't need to be super formal. Instead, try to be yourself. The best writing sounds like a more eloquent version of the way you talk .

Focus on using clear, simple language that effectively explains a point or evokes a feeling. To do so, avoid the urge to use fancy-sounding synonyms when you don't really know what they mean. Contractions are fine; slang, generally, is not. Don't hesitate to write in the first person.

A final note: you don't need to be relentlessly positive. It's OK to acknowledge that sometimes things don't go how you want—just show how you grew from that.

#5: Be Ruthless

Many students want to call it a day after writing a first draft, but editing is a key part of writing a truly great essay. To be clear, editing doesn't mean just making a few minor wording tweaks and cleaning up typos; it means reading your essay carefully and objectively and thinking about how you could improve it .

Ask yourself questions as you read: is the progression of the essay clear? Do you make a lot of vague, sweeping statements that could be replaced with more interesting specifics? Do your sentences flow together nicely? Do you show something about yourself beyond the surface level?

You will have to delete and rewrite (potentially large) parts of your essay, and no matter how attached you feel to something you wrote, you might have to let it go . If you've ever heard the phrase "kill your darlings," know that it is 100% applicable to college essay writing.

At some point, you might even need to rewrite the whole essay. Even though it's annoying, starting over is sometimes the best way to get an essay that you're really proud of.

What's Next?

Make sure to check out our other posts on college essays , including our step-by-step guide to how to write your college essay , our analysis of the Common App Prompts , and our collection of example essays .

If you're in need of guidance on other parts of the application process , take a look at our guides to choosing the right college for you , writing about extracurriculars , deciding to double major , and requesting teacher recommendations .

Last but not least, if you're planning on taking the SAT one last time , check out our ultimate guide to studying for the SAT and make sure you're as prepared as possible.

Alex is an experienced tutor and writer. Over the past five years, she has worked with almost a hundred students and written about pop culture for a wide range of publications. She graduated with honors from University of Chicago, receiving a BA in English and Anthropology, and then went on to earn an MA at NYU in Cultural Reporting and Criticism. In high school, she was a National Merit Scholar, took 12 AP tests and scored 99 percentile scores on the SAT and ACT.

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• How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

Published on January 11, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on August 15, 2023 by Eoghan Ryan.

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . It usually comes near the end of your introduction .

Your thesis will look a bit different depending on the type of essay you’re writing. But the thesis statement should always clearly state the main idea you want to get across. Everything else in your essay should relate back to this idea.

You can write your thesis statement by following four simple steps:

• Start with a question
• Write your initial answer
• Develop your answer
• Refine your thesis statement

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Table of contents

What is a thesis statement, placement of the thesis statement, step 1: start with a question, step 2: write your initial answer, step 3: develop your answer, step 4: refine your thesis statement, types of thesis statements, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about thesis statements.

A thesis statement summarizes the central points of your essay. It is a signpost telling the reader what the essay will argue and why.

The best thesis statements are:

• Concise: A good thesis statement is short and sweet—don’t use more words than necessary. State your point clearly and directly in one or two sentences.
• Contentious: Your thesis shouldn’t be a simple statement of fact that everyone already knows. A good thesis statement is a claim that requires further evidence or analysis to back it up.
• Coherent: Everything mentioned in your thesis statement must be supported and explained in the rest of your paper.

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The thesis statement generally appears at the end of your essay introduction or research paper introduction .

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts and among young people more generally is hotly debated. For many who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education: the internet facilitates easier access to information, exposure to different perspectives, and a flexible learning environment for both students and teachers.

You should come up with an initial thesis, sometimes called a working thesis , early in the writing process . As soon as you’ve decided on your essay topic , you need to work out what you want to say about it—a clear thesis will give your essay direction and structure.

You might already have a question in your assignment, but if not, try to come up with your own. What would you like to find out or decide about your topic?

For example, you might ask:

After some initial research, you can formulate a tentative answer to this question. At this stage it can be simple, and it should guide the research process and writing process .

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Now you need to consider why this is your answer and how you will convince your reader to agree with you. As you read more about your topic and begin writing, your answer should get more detailed.

In your essay about the internet and education, the thesis states your position and sketches out the key arguments you’ll use to support it.

The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education because it facilitates easier access to information.

In your essay about braille, the thesis statement summarizes the key historical development that you’ll explain.

The invention of braille in the 19th century transformed the lives of blind people, allowing them to participate more actively in public life.

A strong thesis statement should tell the reader:

• Why you hold this position
• What they’ll learn from your essay
• The key points of your argument or narrative

The final thesis statement doesn’t just state your position, but summarizes your overall argument or the entire topic you’re going to explain. To strengthen a weak thesis statement, it can help to consider the broader context of your topic.

These examples are more specific and show that you’ll explore your topic in depth.

Your thesis statement should match the goals of your essay, which vary depending on the type of essay you’re writing:

• In an argumentative essay , your thesis statement should take a strong position. Your aim in the essay is to convince your reader of this thesis based on evidence and logical reasoning.
• In an expository essay , you’ll aim to explain the facts of a topic or process. Your thesis statement doesn’t have to include a strong opinion in this case, but it should clearly state the central point you want to make, and mention the key elements you’ll explain.

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A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

The thesis statement is essential in any academic essay or research paper for two main reasons:

• It gives your writing direction and focus.
• It gives the reader a concise summary of your main point.

Without a clear thesis statement, an essay can end up rambling and unfocused, leaving your reader unsure of exactly what you want to say.

Follow these four steps to come up with a thesis statement :

• Ask a question about your topic .
• Write your initial answer.
• Develop your answer by including reasons.
• Refine your answer, adding more detail and nuance.

The thesis statement should be placed at the end of your essay introduction .

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