good relationship with others essay

12 Elements of Healthy Relationships

In every relationship , it’s important to consider how we treat  one an other.  Whether it’s  romantic , platonic , familial, intimate , or sexual , your relationship  with another should be respectful, honest, and fun.  

When relationships are healthy, they promote  emotional and social  well ness .  When relationships are unhealthy,  you  may feel drained, overwhelmed, and  invisible .   

In a pandemic, it’s even more important to consid er how you engage with others.   B oundaries, communication, and time apart  are vital to having relationships everyone  involved  feels good about.   Reflect on your current relationships and consider how you can incorporate the  elements  listed below:  

• Communication . The way you talk with friends or partners is an important part of a relationship. Everyone involved should be able to communicate feelings, opinions, and beliefs. When communicating, consider tone and phrasing. Miscommunication often occurs when individuals choose to text versus talking in person or a phone call. Figuring out the best ways to express your feelings together will help eliminate miscommunication.
• Boundaries . Boundaries are physical, emotional, and mental limits or guidelines a person sets for themselves which others need to respect. You and your partners or friends should feel comfortable in the activities you are doing together. All individuals involved should be respectful of boundaries. Whether it’s romantic, sexual, or platonic, consider what you want the relationship to look like and discuss it with the other(s).
• Consent . Consent is important in all relationships. Consent is uncoerced permission to interact with the body or the life of another person. Coercion can look like pressure to do something, physical force, bargaining, or someone holding power over another to get what they want. Consent can look like asking about boundaries in relationships, actively listening to responses, and always respecting those boundaries.
• Trust . Each person in the relationship should have confidence in one another. If you are questioning whether to trust someone, it may be important to communicate your feelings to them. Consider what makes you not trust someone. Is it something they did, or is it something you’ve experienced in other relationships?
• Honesty . Honesty is important for communication. Each person within the relationship or friendship should have the opportunity to express their feelings and concerns. If you don’t feel comfortable being honest with someone, consider why and seek support if needed.
• Independence . It’s important to have time to yourself in any relationship. Having opportunities to hang with others or time for self-care is important to maintain a healthy relationship. If you live with your partner(s) or friend(s), set up designated areas within your place where you can spend time alone.
• Equality . Each person in the relationship should have an equal say in what’s going on. Listen to each other and respect boundaries.
• Support . Each person in the relationship should feel supported. It’s important to have compassion and empathy for one another. In addition to supporting one another, it’s important to recognize your own needs and communicate boundaries around support.
• Responsibility . Some days you may find you said something hurtful or made a mistake. Make sure to take responsibility for your actions and do not place the blame on your partner(s) or friend(s). Taking responsibility for your actions will further trust and honesty.
• Healthy conflict . You may think conflict is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but talking about issues or disagreements is normal. You won’t find a person that has the exact same interests, opinions, and beliefs as you; thus, at times disagreements may occur. Communicating your feelings and opinions while being respectful and kind is part of a healthy relationship.
• Safety . Safety is the foundation of connection in a relationship. In order to set boundaries, communicate, and have fun, everyone must feel safe. If you do not feel safe to express your feelings, have independence, or anything else on this list, seek support using the resources below.
• Fun . In addition to all these components, you should be enjoying the time you spend with others. Again, it’s important that your relationships promote your well-being and do not diminish it.

Want to learn more about healthy relationships? Check out this quiz by Love is Respect , a project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline .

If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, the university has confidential, non-confidential, and peer-led resources you can contact for help and support.

Confidential resources provide assistance and support and information shared is protected and cannot be reported unless given explicit permission from the individual that disclosed; there is imminent threat of harm to the individual or others; the conduct involves suspected abuse of a minor under the age of 18; or otherwise permitted by law or court order.

Non-confidential resources are available to provide support or assistance to individuals but are not confidential and may have broader obligations to report information. Non-confidential resources will report information only to the necessary departments, such as Office of Institutional Equity (OIE).

Peer-led resources are available to provide support and assistance. Services are provided by Johns Hopkins students, and are non-confidential.

Hopkins Confidential Resources

• Counseling Center : 410-516-8278 (press 1 for the on-call counselor). Serves all full-time undergraduate & graduate students from KSAS, WSE, and Peabody.
• Counseling Center Sexual Assault HelpLine: 410-516-7333. Serves all Johns Hopkins students.
• Student Health and Wellness Center : 410-516-4784. Serves all full-time, part-time, and visiting undergraduate and graduate students from KSAS, WSE, and Peabody. Serves post-doctoral fellows enrolled in KSAS, WSE, School of Education, and Sheridan Libraries.
• Religious and Spiritual Life : 410-516-1880.
• Gender Violence Prevention and Education: Alyse Campbell, [email protected] , book a time to chat at: tinyurl.com/MeetwAlyse . Serves all Johns Hopkins students.
• University Health Services (UHS): 410-955-3250
• Mental Health Services : 410-955-1892
• Johns Hopkins Student Assistance Program (JHSAP): 443-287-7000. Serves graduate, medical, and professional students, and immediate family members.

Hopkins Non-confidential Resources

• Hopkins Sexual Assault Response and Prevention website
• Campus Safety and Security : 410-516-7777
• Office of LGBTQ Life : [email protected]
• Office of Institutional Equity : 410-516-8075
• Office of the Dean of Student Life : 410-516-8208

Peer-Led Resources

• Sexual Assault Resource Unit (SARU): Private hotline: 410-516-7887. Serves all Johns Hopkins students.
• A Place to Talk (available on Zoom). Serves Homewood undergrads.

Community Resources

• TurnAround Inc. Hotline : 443-279-0379
• Rape, Abuse, and Incest, National Network : National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673
• Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault (MCASA)
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10 pillars of a strong relationship, many of the keys to a satisfying, lasting bond are probably already present in your relationship..

Your performance evaluation at work comes in, and it’s glowing. However, there’s one area that “needs improvement.” Days later, which part do you think about?

The negative, of course. Part of you knows it’s ridiculous to let that one thing bother you. After all, there’s a lot more good in there than bad, but you can’t seem to help it.

Unfortunately, we do the same thing in our romantic relationships. We all have a negativity bias , or tendency to focus on the bad aspects of experiences. This makes us more critical of our relationship than we should be. Along the way, we take the good times for granted and they become an under-appreciated part of our partnership. But the problems? They stand out. Our partner’s insensitive comments, moods, and messiness regularly capture our full attention.

Mix this into a relationship that has lost a bit of its spark, and it can be hard to notice anything other than the problems. As Daniel Kahneman describes in Thinking, Fast and Slow , we tend to only see what’s right in front of us and overlook what’s not there at the moment. When problems are all that you see, it feels like that’s all your relationship is.

In fact, we have such a strong tendency to pick up on the bad stuff that we may even manufacture problems that don’t exist. A study published in Science suggests that if our relationship doesn’t have any major issues, we’re more likely to take what once would have been considered a small issue and feel it’s more problematic.

When we spend our time worrying about the wrong things, we don’t have time to appreciate what’s going right. Not only does this mean our view of the relationship is skewed, but it also means we’re missing out on a meaningful opportunity. While working on problems is one way to improve a long-term relationship, it’s just as important to reflect on your partner’s good qualities and the positive aspects of your connection.

The pillars of healthy relationships

To shift your perspective, start by paying more attention to the facets of your relationship that are stable, consistent, and comfortable. Those peaceful, drama-free, status-quo elements are easy to forget, but they’re sources of strength.

Below are 10 key pillars of healthy relationships that research suggests are key to a satisfying, lasting bond. Many of these are likely present in your own relationship; you just need to pause and take notice.

1. You can be yourself. You and your partner accept each other for who you are; you don’t try to change each other. You can simply be yourself and show your true identity without worrying if your partner will judge you. That’s helpful because research shows that partners who accept each other tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. 

2. You are BFFs. In many ways, your romantic partner is your best friend, and you’re theirs. That’s good news because research suggests that romantic partners who emphasize friendship tend to be more committed and experience more sexual gratification. Romantic relationships that value friendship emphasize emotional support, intimacy, affection, and maintaining a strong bond. They also focus on meeting needs related to caregiving, security, and companionship. 

3. You feel comfortable and close. Getting close to someone isn’t always easy. But in your relationship, you’ve worked through that and are quite comfortable sharing feelings, relying on each other, and being emotionally intimate. Even if vulnerability can be challenging at times, you’ve learned to trust your partner and find it brings you closer. You no longer put up emotional walls and don’t constantly worry about your partner leaving, which provides a sense of stability . 

4. You’re more alike than different. You and your partner have a lot in common, and key areas of similarity may help make your relationship more satisfying , new research suggests. Sure, the differences stand out, but beyond those few contrasts, you’re similar in a lot of ways. For example, your partner may enjoy superhero movies while you enjoy rom-coms. Though that feels like a major contrast, you’re both homebodies who enjoy making a meal together then crashing on the couch to watch TV shows where you can debate others’ life choices, make fun of awkward dialogue, and try to guess the next plot twist. Ultimately, you have a lot more in common than you have differences.

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Read this article in Spanish on La Red Hispana, the public-facing media outlet and distribution house of HCN , focused on educating, inspiring, and informing 40 million U.S. Hispanics.

5. You feel like a team. Words matter. When you talk, do you often use words like “we,” “us,” and “our?” If someone asks, “What’s your favorite show to binge-watch?,” do you reply with, “We have started watching Schitt’s Creek ”? That use of “we” shows a strong sense of cognitive closeness, or shared identity, in your relationship. Research suggests that couples who are interconnected like this tend to be more satisfied and committed . 

6. They make you a better person. Your partner helps you refine and improve who you are. Here, your partner doesn’t take charge and tell you how to change, but rather supports your choices for self-growth . Together, you seek out new and interesting experiences that contribute to a feeling of self-development. According to relationship researchers, when you expand and grow as a person, your relationship does, too .

7. You share the power. While partners may have their areas of expertise (for example, one handles lawn care, while the other does interior decorating), partners often share decision making, power, and influence in the relationship. When both partners have a say, relationships are stronger, more satisfied, and more likely to last . And, unsurprisingly, couples are happier when they feel the division of labor in their relationship is fair. 

8. They’re fundamentally good. What do people want in a spouse? It’s surprisingly simple: someone who is reliable, warm, kind, fair, trustworthy, and intelligent . Though these traits aren’t flashy and may not immediately come to mind when creating your partner wish list, they provide the foundation for a resilient relationship. Research suggests that when partners have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities, they tend to be more satisfied in their relationship. 

9. You trust each other. We need to be able to rely on our partner, which comes from a sense of trust. Not only do we trust our partner with the password to our phone, or with access to our bank account, we know that our partner always has our best interests in mind and will be there for us when we need them. Research suggests this is a positive cycle : Trust encourages greater commitment, which encourages greater trust.

10. You don’t have serious issues. There are problems, and then there are PROBLEMS. Sometimes it’s easy to forget about all of the problems and major red flags we don’t have to deal with. “Dark side” issues like disrespect, cheating, jealousy, and emotional or physical abuse are relationship killers. Sometimes, the light can come from the absence of dark.

Spend a few moments reflecting on how each of these apply to your own relationship. At this point, you may want to give yourself some kind of score to affirm your relationship is in good shape. How many of those 10 pillars do you have? How many do you lack? But that’s not really the point. Chances are, your relationship has elements of all 10. The key is to do a better job of noticing and, where needed, cultivating these foundational areas. Often, strengthening these pillars is as simple as savoring everything in your relationship that works. There’s a lot there when you know what to look for. 

Hopefully, you’ve also noticed areas of strength that aren’t on this list. That’s great, because this list is by no means comprehensive. More importantly, it shows you’re starting to notice more of what works, and not obsessing about what’s broken. 

Of course, you shouldn’t use a few positives to justify staying in a bad relationship. Focusing on strengths is only helpful for those in good relationships looking to make them better. Good relationships are built on mutual respect, love, and friendship between equals.

The lesson here also isn’t to pretend like your relationship doesn’t have issues. Rather, it’s a lot easier to fix those problems when you appreciate how much of your relationship is already going well. Relationships are difficult enough without making them any harder. When you’re only shedding light on what’s wrong, it’s easy to buy into the mistaken belief that your relationship is in trouble. But when you stop taking the good for granted, and give your partner and relationship more credit, you may realize that your relationship is stronger than you think.

About the Author

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D. , is the author of Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship…and How to See Past Them . He is also an award-winning teacher, researcher, relationship expert, and professor at Monmouth University.

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The 14 most important characteristics of healthy relationships.

A healthy relationshi p is one that adds to both people's overall well-being, fueled by communication, respect, and boundaries . For a relationship to be healthy, it requires more than just shared interests and strong feelings for each other. It requires two people who truly understand and care for each other, while also caring for themselves.

Here are the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship:

You respect each other

Respect is one of the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship. Once the chase is over, some people can forget about tending to their partner's feelings and needs. In lasting, healthy relationships, partners value each other and take care with their words, actions, and behaviors. If you want to be with that person each day, make them feel that way. Likewise, you should receive this care from your partner day in and day out.

You're vulnerable with each other

Good communication is a necessary quality of a healthy relationship. If you're not willing to share what's going on with you or what you need from your partner, you're not going to get what you need. Yet people—out of shame or a habit built over a lifetime of bottling up our feelings—don't want to let anyone else in on what's going on with us. If you can trust your partner enough to share your feelings, you're more likely to find yourself in a safe relationship that lasts.

RELATED: How Lack Of Communication Can Sneakily Ruin Relationships

You have total trust in each other

Healthy relationships require trust. You have to be willing to trust your partner not only with your feelings but with your weaknesses. You will have to learn trust at the emotional, physical, and spiritual level. Trust takes practice and is earned one step at a time. Even when trust is broken , you can find a way to repair a breach in trust if you're willing to work on it.

You both maintain unwavering honesty

In a healthy relationship, you have to be willing to share what's going on, no matter how ugly. You can't hide behind lies and deception if you want your relationship to last. If you can't believe your partner when they tell you something, or if your partner is hiding things from you, it's going to be hard for you to feel safe. Honesty helps foster trust and a belief in each other, which is crucial to making it over the long haul. (Here's what open and honest communication in a relationship looks like.)

There's mutual empathy

Another key quality of a healthy relationship is empathy . Empathy means trying to understand what your partner is feeling. It isn't about trying to fix your partner's concerns and problems, necessarily, but about being able to be there for them. If you can pay more attention to what's going on with your partner and strive to see things through their eyes, you will find yourself getting closer over time rather than more distant.

You both prioritize kindness

Do all the things for your partner that you would do for your best friend. Try to anticipate their needs. Think about what they need help with and try to be there for them. Cut out the behavior that gets on their nerves, and find ways to uplift your partner. Thoughtfulness, consideration, and kindness is the recipe for healthy relationships.

You respect each other's boundaries

It's important not to forget that you're two separate people with separate needs, including some needs that you may not share. You will not agree on everything, and sometimes you may not want the same things. It's important to respect these differences and not push each other's boundaries , including emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, and any other types of boundaries . Boundaries are a necessary characteristic of a healthy relationship.

You're both totally committed

You have to be committed to your partner, yes. But more than commitment to your partner, you have to be committed to the relationship. If you think about the health and future of the relationship instead of just your own, you're likely to take more constructive actions and behave differently. It's not just about getting your needs met. It's about replenishing the fire so your relationship can last. That's what a healthy relationship is all about.

You're both thoughtful

Thoughtfulness is a characteristic of a healthy relationship that often gets overlooked because it can be hard to articulate. Essentially, thoughtfulness means keeping your partner in mind and striving to do things that will make their lives better. It's knowing their preferences, opinions, and quirks so you're able to dance with them, not fight them with. The better you know your partner, the more you can practice thoughtfulness. What can you do today to help them or improve their lives? What can you do today to make your partner's day?

You can forgive each other

Any partner will have qualities, characteristics, and behaviors that push your buttons. To make your relationship last, you have to accept your partner unconditionally—quirks, behavior, flaws, and all.

Likewise, you will sometimes feel hurt throughout a relationship because we're all humans who make mistakes. The key is to forgive quickly, let go of grudges, and start over each day. Yes, this is easier said than done, but forgiveness is crucial to the long-term health of the relationship. You have to let go of trespasses and also be willing to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness takes courage, vulnerability, and practice.

Of course, forgiveness doesn't mean being a pushover or accepting mistreatment from your partner. There are many signs of an abusive relationship that aren't physical to be aware of. In a healthy relationship, you first you make the commitment to accept them completely. Then, you speak up and say what it is that's bothering you. If hurtful actions continue, it may be a sign you should break up .

RELATED: Unconditional Love: How To Give It & Know If It's Healthy

You're gentle with each other

Gentleness comes through in thoughts, words, actions, and your general state of being. It's understanding and accepting your partner completely and treating them delicately. It's not yelling, not name-calling, and not being verbally or emotionally harsh with each other.

Gentleness is treating your partner in a respectful, kind, and compassionate way. It's recognizing your soulful connection and appreciating their inherent humanness.

There's a lot of affection

After some time in relationships, we often forget to show love and affection toward our partners. But affection is a key quality of a healthy relationship. It's the stuff that make relationships great.

Affection can be as simple as touching, holding, or kissing your partner for no reason at all. It's a warm embrace, a light touch, a loving word, or any other small way you can show your partner that you love them.

To be most affectionate, you have to know how your partner receives love best and do more of that. Is it a loving word, a thoughtful gesture, help around the house, or doing something special for them? The better you know what your partner enjoys, the more affectionate you can be.

The love languages quiz can help you figure out how you and your partner can most effectively show your love to each other.

You consistently appreciate each other

Gratitude is another key quality of a healthy relationship. We all take our partners for granted sometimes. If you can regularly remind yourself how lucky you are and how valuable your partner is, and tell them so, you will boost the happiness and longevity of your relationship. Partners who stay together appreciate each other and compliment each other. Recognize what your partner is doing, and let them know that you're thankful for it.

You both feel validated by the other

Most of the time, people don't really understand us. Everyone has different opinions, and needing to always be right can negatively affect your relationship. Validating your partner shows them that you're on their side. When you understand and accept what they say, they feel fully seen, heard, and accepted. It's acknowledging what your partner is saying to you and showing them that you get them—you understand what they're saying and experiencing. When you validate, you accept. And when you accept, you show unconditional love , which is ultimately what keeps people and relationships together in the long run.

Now that you know the characteristics, here are some tips on how to have a healthy relationship .

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9 Qualities of the Most Successful Relationships

Unselfish, egoless, fair, current, and authentic..

Posted September 15, 2021 | Reviewed by Chloe Williams

• Why Relationships Matter
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• Characteristics of quality relationships include negotiating where resources are allocated in a fair way and regularly reassessing needs.
• Unselfish love, authentic communication, trust and a recognition of triggers from the past are also components of successful relationships.
• Acknowledging behaviors that are already a part of one's relationship can help a couple embrace others that they may want to attain.

In working with couples for more than four decades, I have been able to observe how committed partnerships are influenced by society’s changing definitions of what a quality relationship is. But despite those changing mores and values, I have also witnessed that some characteristics of successful relationships have remained constant independent of those influences.

I’ve compiled these beliefs and traits over many years, careful to sift and resift as quality relationships are subject to different expectations. The following nine illustrate what I have observed.

As you read through them, you will naturally ask yourselves which of them has been part of your own intimate relationships. Do not feel defeated if your relationship doesn’t include all of them. Focus, instead, on those that do apply. Acknowledging beliefs and behaviors that are already successful will give you more confidence to embrace those you may then want to attain.

1. The Fair Negotiation of Resources

Every relationship has only so many resources at different times and in different situations. Whether time, money, love, availability, or mental and emotional resilience , those resources must be allocated with fairness, generosity and understanding. Successful couples negotiated priorities together, deciding what each may need at any one time.

In times of abundance, those allocations are easier to manage. There is more of whatever each partner needs and can more easily meet requests, desires, or an emergency. When resources are depleted, successful couples know to adjust to those diminished coffers and negotiate to reach the best agreement they can.

2. Staying Current

Life’s demands change. Resources wax and wane. Different life stages require adaptations and adjustments. Losses are inevitable. Early dreams may fall by the wayside and new ones emerge. In so many ways, quality relationships are like businesses that grow and shift with what works to keep them functioning as optimally as possible.

Relationships are no different. What responses, offerings, and valuable contributions that may have been more than enough at one time must be able to continually transform as new requirements demand different reactions, resources, or priorities. People in quality relationships regularly re-assess how they need to alter who they are, what they can give or need, and how the relationship is doing in general. With ever new evaluations, they shore up what is faltering and let go of what is no longer working.

3. Unselfish Love

Love is comprised of the honest desire to seek the gratification of personal needs interspersed with making certain that your partner must thrive as well. Every intimate partner struggles between the need for safety and security and the desire for freedom to grow. The former maintains the comfort of predictability and the latter gives the relationship challenge and excitement.

Those of you who have supported your partner at your own expense know how scary it is to risk your own security to give your partner the opportunity to follow what he or she sees as offering more possibilities and altered dreams. Despite your insecurity, you know that it is the right thing to do no matter what the cost.

It is always better to know that your partner would rather be with you than somewhere else. But, if you know that he or she would thrive better away from you, holding them trapped to maintain your security will ultimately fail in the long run. The deepest form of love is to want what is best for each other even when that sacrifice brings potential fear of loss. The old adage, “Let something go free. If it is meant to come back, it will,” is profoundly true in successful relationships.

4. Congruent, Authentic, and Open Communication

Every bid for connection has both an altruistic and self-serving motive. Both are profoundly human responses and should be shared without shame . Though some strategy and diplomacy are part of every successful relationship, quality communication gives both partners a heads-up as to what is wanted and what the consequences might be if those needs are not granted.

Congruent communication occurs when a person’s body language , facial expressions, voice intonations, rhythm, and touch present the same picture. When people are comfortable with their good qualities, working on their limitations, and honest about that process, they are authentic and upfront, giving the other partner a full understanding of what to expect.

In all communication, there is the content of words and the way the partners are with each other as they are connecting. Words are useless if the process has gone sour. Good communicators are alert to these in-the-moment shifts, and immediately repair the interaction before returning to the content.

5. The True Meaning of Trust

At its most basic level, people who trust each other know that the other partner will not behave away from them any differently than they do when in each other’s presence. It’s as if there is a metaphysical tattoo in their presentation that signals “I am joyfully taken.” There is pride in the way either talks about the relationship to others. When they talk about the relationship with others, their sentences begin with “we” rather than “I.”

People change over time and that trust must be constantly renegotiated and shared. What can be seen can be changed. There is simply no room for negative surprises.

6. Triggers from Past Relationships

No one comes into a relationship without emotional baggage. Past losses, traumas , broken dreams, or disappointments from childhood until the current relationship are bound to rear their influence on a current relationship.

The way people resolve those past issues is a critical harbinger of how they can be triggered in their present relationship. The more both partners know about past entanglements and their consequences, the better they are prepared to differentiate between what is happening just between them and what may be surfacing as an old, unresolved situation from the past.

Both partners are quick to recognize the most obvious tell-tale signs: They start talking at each other from farther away, rather than to each other. There is little or no eye contact. They seem on a one-way street, focused on some other time and place where they may have felt irrelevant or helpless.

Asking yourself how old you feel when you are responding this way can help identify the earlier experience and how it may be contaminating the current interaction.

7. Consistent Expressions of What Is Working

Too often, many committed couples take for granted that the other knows he or she is loved. Most of their conversations tend to be about logistics, keeping each other informed about life events, sharing responses to what affects them, talking about future plans, or sharing what they are unhappy about.

If the couple is still together and prospering, it is evident that something lies underneath their more superficial interactions. But the other might not know or share those positive feelings. I have been with so many people who have unexpectedly lost a partner and suffer the most when they have not told the other how much they meant to them and why. Frequent expressions of authentic appreciation, tenderness, caring, special affections must be said aloud to make sure the other partner knows those feelings are still intact.

8. Egoless Leadership

Role definitions and their executions are not fixed in quality relationships. The partners are not defined by rigidly expected behaviors and effortlessly give leadership to the person who can do it best at the time. They are a team first, and winning means there is no automatic captain.

They are also non-competitive and respectful when one partner can shoulder a challenge better than the other because the other compensates where he or she can. They can fill in for each other when needed and have no ego around who may be better in any one area. Both are secure in being respected for who they are and what they bring to the table and know they are better off together than either could be alone.

9. Inquiry Before Judgment

Successful partners do not assume, guess, or come to conclusions about the other’s thoughts and behaviors without checking with each other as to the accuracy of their assumptions. They have learned that rapid reactions said in defense will not result in any meaningful resolution so they commit to asking for more clarity before they respond.

Many relationships break up because incorrect assumptions of another’s motives trigger mistrust , even when it is not warranted. Even people who have been together for many years mistake the other’s reasons or build-ups and react as if they know enough to respond accurately.

When either partner cannot take the time to make room for the entirety of the other before they react, the other partner over time will pull away, withhold, and sometimes disconnect. Everyone changes over time, and continuous reevaluation of the other partner can put a halt to those potential and often unnecessary damages.

These nine beliefs and subsequent actions are the underlying strengths in relationships that not only survive but thrive over time. They all share the same core. The partners treasure each other’s experience of life and each other.

Facebook image: Goksi/Shutterstock

Randi Gunther, Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor in Southern California.

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Understanding what emotional intelligence looks like and the steps needed to improve it could light a path to a more emotionally adept world.

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Essays About Relationships: Top 5 Examples Plus 8 Prompts

With rich essays about relationships plus prompts, this writing guide could help you contemplate relationships, including your own.

Healthy relationships come with the rewards of intimacy, love, and the support we need. Learning to preserve healthy relationships and throw out harmful ones is a critical skill to lead a successful life. That is exactly why Warren Buffet , one of the most successful investors, said the most important decision you will make is your choice of a significant partner. 

There are several types of relationships your essay could focus on in your next piece of writing. Take a leap and tackle intimate individual-level relationships or community or even global-level relationships. You might also be interested in our list of books to read after a breakup .

5 Essay Examples

1. relationship weight gain is real — and can be a sign of happiness by angela haupt, 2. what does it mean to be ‘ready’ for a relationship by julie beck, 3. why adult children cut ties with their parents by sharon martin, 4. a relationship under extreme duress: u.s.-china relations at a crossroads by michael d. swaine, 5. how to build strong business relationships — remotely by jeanne m. brett and tyree mitchell, 1. strengthening communication in relationships, 2. helping children build healthy friendships, 3. how social media affects our relationships , 4. establishing relationships with influencers, 5. importance of police-community relationships, 6. dealing with challenging work relationships, 7. promoting cross-cultural relationships among schools, 8. why do long-term relationships fail.

“…[A]mong those who had been married for more than four years, happy couples were twice as likely to put on weight than couples who reported not being as content with their relationship.”

Gaining pounds when you’re in a relationship is real. This essay backs it up with research and even seeks to answer who puts on the most pounds in the relationship. For those hoping to transform their lifestyle, the essay offers practical tips couples can do together to lose pounds while protecting the relationship and preserving the joy that brought them together. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

“Readiness, then, is not a result of achieving certain life milestones, or perfect mental health. And checking off items on a checklist doesn’t guarantee a relationship when the checklist is complete.”

People have a variety of reasons for not being ready to commit to a relationship. They may be more committed to developing their careers or simply enjoy the solitude of singlehood. But this essay debunks the concept of readiness for building relationships. Through interviews, one finds that relationships can happen when you least expect them. You might also be interested in these essays about reflection .

“Parent-child relationships, in particular, are expected to be unwavering and unconditional. But this isn’t always the case—some adults cut ties with or distance themselves from their parents or other family members.”

No matter how painful it is, some adults decide to cut off family members to heal from a toxic or abusive childhood relationship or protect themselves if the abuse or toxicity continues. In exploring the primary causes of estrangement, the well-researched essay shows that estrangement may run deep with years of conflict and many attempts to recover the relationship, rather than merely being the whim of selfish adults.

“…Beijing and Washington are transitioning from a sometimes contentious yet mutually beneficial relationship to an increasingly antagonistic, mutually destructive set of interactions.”

The essay charts the 40-year relationship between China and the US and points out how both parties have mutually benefited from the bilateral relations. This starkly contrasts Washington’s accusation that the relationship has been a zero-sum game, one of the numerous oft-heard allegations in the Washington community. But with the looming increase in tension, competition, and potentially a devastating Cold War between the two, parties must work to find a middle ground.

“Although many managers have adapted to virtual meetings to replace face-to-face ones as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, developing new business relationships online presents a particular set of challenges.”

Authors interview 82 managers pre-pandemic and reconnect with some during the health crisis to find out how they have been building relationships with business partners through virtual meetings. Most admit the challenge of establishing trust and assessing partners’ competency, especially when billion-dollar deals are at stake. The authors offer four key pieces of advice to overcome these difficulties. You might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

8 Writing Prompts On Essays About Relationships

We all know that communication is what strengthens relationships. But this is easier said than done when both sides want to talk and not listen. For this prompt, discuss the importance of open communication in relationships. Then, offer tips on how to improve communication in relationships and deal with communication gaps. One scenario you can look into is discussing problems in a relationship without getting into a heated debate.

In this essay, you can help parents become effective coaches for their children to make and keep friends. Warn them against being too authoritative in directing their children and instead allow the kids to be part of the ongoing conversation. Give your readers tips on how to build friendships such as promoting kindness, sharing, and understanding from a young age. You may also enjoy these essays about friendships .

When writing this essay, list the positive and negative effects of social media on relationships. A positive outcome of having social media is 24/7 access to our loved ones. One negative effect includes decreased time for more meaningful physical bonding. So, provide tips on how people in relationships can start putting down their mobile phones and talk heart-to-heart again. 

Influencer marketing has become one of the most popular and effective ways to spread your brand message on social media. First, explore why consumers trust influencers as credible product or service review sources. Then, try to answer some of the burning questions your readers may have, such as whether influencer marketing works for big and small businesses and how to choose the perfect influencer to endorse your brand.

In a working police-community relationship, police officials and community members work together to fight crime through information-sharing and other measures. Discuss this interesting topic for an exciting essay.

First, look into the level of working relationship between the police and your community through existing enforcement programs. Then, with the data gathered, analyze how they cooperate to improve your community. You can also build on the United States Department of Justice’s recommendations to lay down the best practices for strengthening police-community relationships. 

Amid competition, a workplace must still be conducive to cooperative relationships among employees to work on shared goals. Create an essay that enumerates the negative effects of work relationships on employee productivity and an office’s overall performance. Then cite tips on what managers and employees can do to maintain a professional and diplomatic atmosphere in the workplace. You can include points from the University of Queensland recommendations, including maintaining respect.

Students in a foreign country tend to feel distant from school life and society. Schools have a critical role in helping them feel at home and safe enough to share their ideas confidently. Set out the other benefits school environments can reap from fostering robust cross-cultural relationships and cite best practices. One example of a best practice is the buddy system, where international students are linked to local students, who could help expand their networks in the facility and even show them around the area to reveal its attributes.

When couples make it through the seven-year itch or the average time relationships last, everything down the road is said to be more manageable. However, some couples break up even after decades of being together. Explore the primary causes behind the failure of long-term relationships and consider the first signs that couples are growing distant from each other.

Look into today’s social sentiments and determine whether long-term relationships are declining. If they are, contemplate whether this should be a cause for concern or merely an acceptable change in culture. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers and our essay writing tips .

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

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The Power of Healthy Relationships at Work

• Emma Seppälä
• Nicole K. McNichols

Five research-backed principles to cultivate stronger workplace relationships.

Research shows that leaders who prioritize relationships with their employees and lead from a place of positivity and kindness simply do better, and company culture has a bigger influence on employee well-being than salary and benefits. When it comes to cultivating happiness at work, it comes down to fostering positive relationships at work. Citing research from the field of social psychology, the authors outline five core principles that make all relationships, personal or professional, thrive: 1) transparency and authenticity, 2) inspiration, 3) emotional intelligence, 4) self-care, and 5) values.

Kushal Choksi was a successful Wall Street quant who had just entered the doors of the second twin tower on 9/11 when it got hit. As Choksi describes in his best-selling book, On a Wing and a Prayer , his brush with death was a wakeup call. Having mainly focused on wealth acquisition before 9/11, he began to question his approach to work.

• Emma Seppälä , PhD, is a faculty member at the Yale School of Management, faculty director of the Yale School of Management’s Women’s Leadership Program and bestselling author of SOVEREIGN (2024) and The Happiness Track (2017). She is also science director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education . Follow her work at emmaseppala.com , http://www.iamsov.com or on Instagram . emmaseppala
• Nicole K. McNichols  Ph.D. is an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington where she teaches courses about sex and relationship science in addition to industrial and organizational psychology. Follow her work at  www.nicolethesexprofessor.com and on Instagram .

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• Section 2. Building Relationships with People from Different Cultures

Chapter 27 Sections

• Section 1. Understanding Culture and Diversity in Building Communities
• Section 3. Healing from the Effects of Internalized Oppression
• Section 4. Strategies and Activities for Reducing Racial Prejudice and Racism
• Section 5. Learning to be an Ally for People from Diverse Groups and Backgrounds
• Section 6. Creating Opportunities for Members of Groups to Identify Their Similarities, Differences, and Assets
• Section 7. Building Culturally Competent Organizations
• Section 8. Multicultural Collaboration
• Section 9. Transforming Conflicts in Diverse Communities
• Section 10. Understanding Culture, Social Organization, and Leadership to Enhance Engagement
• Section 11. Building Inclusive Communities
• Main Section

Relationships are powerful. Our one-to-one connections with each other are the foundation for change. And building relationships with people from different cultures, often many different cultures , is key in building diverse communities that are powerful enough to achieve significant goals.

Whether you want to make sure your children get a good education, bring quality health care into your communities, or promote economic development, there is a good chance you will need to work with people from several different racial, language, ethnic, or economic groups. And in order to work with people from different cultural groups effectively, you will need to build sturdy and caring relationships based on trust, understanding, and shared goals.

Why? Because trusting relationships are the glue that hold people together as they work on a common problem. As people work on challenging problems, they will have to hang in there together when things get hard. They will have to support each other to stay with an effort, even when it feels discouraging. People will have to resist the efforts of those who use divide-and-conquer techniques--pitting one cultural group against another.

Regardless of your racial, ethnic, religious, or socioeconomic group, you will probably need to establish relationships with people whose group you may know very little about.

Each one of us is like a hub of a wheel. Each one of us can build relationships and friendships around ourselves that provide us with the necessary strength to achieve community goals. If each person builds a network of diverse and strong relationships, we can come together and solve problems that we have in common.

In this section, we are going to talk about:

• Becoming aware of your own culture as a first step in learning about other people's culture.
• Building relationships with people from many different cultures.

But first let's talk about what culture is . Culture is a complex concept, with many different definitions. But, simply put, "culture" refers to a group or community with which we share common experiences that shape the way we understand the world . It includes groups that we are born into, such as race, national origin, class, or religion. It can also include groups we join or become part of. For example, we can acquire a new culture by moving to a new region, by a change in our economic status, or by becoming disabled. When we think of culture this broadly we realize we all belong to many cultures at once. Do you agree? How might this apply to you?

How do you learn about people's cultures?

Start by becoming aware of your own culture..

It may seem odd that in order to learn about people in other cultures, we start by becoming more aware of our own culture. But we believe this is true. Why?

If you haven't had a chance to understand how your culture has affected you first hand, it's more difficult to understand how it could affect anyone else or why it might be important to them. If you are comfortable talking about your own culture, then you will become better at listening to others talk about theirs. Or, if you understand how discrimination has affected you, then you may be more aware of how it has affected others.

Here are some tips on how to becoming more aware of your own culture:

What is your culture?

Do you have a culture? Do you have more than one? What is your cultural background?

Even if you don't know who your ancestors are, you have a culture. Even if you are a mix of many cultures, you have one. Culture evolves and changes all the time. It came from your ancestors from many generations ago, and it comes from your family and community today.

In addition to the cultural groups we belong to, we also each have groups we identify with, such as being a parent, an athlete, an immigrant, a small business owner, or a wage worker. These kinds of groups, although not exactly the same as a culture, have similarities to cultural groups. For example, being a parent or and an immigrant may be an identity that influences how you view the world and how the world views you. Becoming aware of your different identities can help you understand what it might be like to belong to a cultural group.

Exercise: Try listing all the cultures and identities you have: (This is just a list of suggestions to get you started. Add as many as you think describe you.) What is your: Religion Nationality Race Sexual identity Ethnicity Occupation Marital status Age Geographic region Are you: A female A male Nonbinary or genderqueer Disabled From an urban area From a rural area A parent A student Have you ever been: In the military Poor In prison Wealthy In the middle class In the working class

Did this help you think about your identities and cultures? How have these different cultures and identities affected your life?

How do you build relationships with people from other cultures?

There are many ways that people can learn about other people's cultures and build relationships at the same time. Here are some steps you can take. They are first listed, and then elaborated upon one at a time.

• Make a conscious decision to establish friendships with people from other cultures.
• Put yourself in situations where you will meet people of other cultures.

Examine your biases about people from other cultures.

• Ask people questions about their cultures, customs, and views.
• Read about other people's culture's and histories

Listen to people tell their stories

• Notice differences in communication styles and values; don't assume that the majority's way is the right way

Risk making mistakes

• Learn to be an ally.

Make a conscious decision to establish friendships with people from other cultures

Making a decision is the first step. In order to build relationships with people different from yourself, you have to make a concerted effort to do so. There are societal forces that serve to separate us from each other. People from different economic groups, religions, ethnic groups, and races are often isolated from each other in schools, jobs, and neighborhoods. So, if we want things to be different, we need to take active steps to make them different.

You can join a sports team or club, become active in an organization, choose a job, or move to a neighborhood that puts you in contact with people of cultures different than your own. Also, you may want to take a few minutes to notice the diversity that is presently nearby. If you think about the people you see and interact with every day, you may become more aware of the cultural differences that are around you.

Once you have made the decision to make friends with people different from yourself, you can go ahead and make friends with them in much the same way as with anyone else. You may need to take more time, and you may need to be more persistent. You may need to reach out and take the initiative more than you are used to. People who have been mistreated by society may take more time to trust you than people who haven't. Don't let people discourage you. There are good reasons why people have built up defenses, but it is not impossible to overcome them and make a connection. The effort is totally worth it.

Put yourself in situations where you will meet people of other cultures; especially if you haven't had the experience of being a minority, take the risk.

One of the first and most important steps is to show up in places where you will meet people of cultures other than your own. Go to meetings and celebrations of groups whose members you want to get to know. Or hang out in restaurants and other gathering places that different cultural groups go. You may feel embarrassed or shy at first, but your efforts will pay off. People of a cultural group will notice if you take the risk of coming to one of their events. If it is difficult for you to be the only person like yourself attending, you can bring a buddy with you and support each other in making friends. At these events, it is important to participate, but make sure you do not become the center of the event in order to lift up the voices and actions of the people leading the event.

We all carry misinformation and stereotypes about people in different cultures. Especially, when we are young, we acquire this information in bits and pieces from TV, from listening to people talk, and from the culture at large. We are not bad people because we acquired this; no one requested to be misinformed. But in order to build relationships with people of different cultures, we have to become aware of the misinformation we acquired.

An excellent way to become aware of your own stereotypes is to pick groups that you generalize about and write down your opinions. Once you have, examine the thoughts that came to your mind and where you acquired them.

Another way to become aware of stereotypes is to talk about them with people who have similar cultures to your own. In such settings you can talk about the misinformation you acquired without being offensive to people from a particular group. You can get together with a friend or two and talk about how you acquired stereotypes or fears of other different people. You can answer these kinds of questions:

• How did your parents feel about different ethnic, racial, or religious groups?
• What did your parents communicate to you with their actions and words?
• Were your parents friends with people from many different groups?
• What did you learn in school about a particular group?
• Was there a lack of information about some people?
• Are there some people you shy away from? Why?

Ask people questions about their cultures, customs, and views

People, for the most part, want to be asked questions about their lives and their cultures. Many of us were told that asking questions was nosy; but if we are thoughtful, asking questions can help you learn about people of different cultures and help build relationships. People are usually pleasantly surprised when others show interest in their cultures. If you are sincere and you can listen, people will tell you a lot.

Read about other people's cultures and histories

It helps to read about and learn about people's cultures and histories. If you know something about the reality of someone's life and history, it shows that you care enough to take the time to find out about it. It also gives you background information that will make it easier to ask questions that make sense.

However, you don't have to be an expert on someone's culture to get to know them or to ask questions. People who are, themselves, from a culture are usually the best experts, anyway.

Don't forget to care and show caring

It is easy to forget that the basis of any relationship is caring. Everyone wants to care and be cared about. Caring about people is what makes a relationship real. Don't let your awkwardness around cultural differences get in the way of caring about people.

If you get an opportunity to hear someone tell you her life story first hand, you can learn a lot--and build a strong relationship at the same time. Every person has an important story to tell. Each person's story tells something about their culture.

Listening to people's stories, we can get a fuller picture of what people's lives are like--their feelings, their nuances, and the richness of their lives. Listening to people also helps us get through our numbness-- there is a real person before us, not someone who is reduced to stereotypes in the media.

Additionally, listening to members of groups that have been discriminated against can give us a better understanding of what that experience is like. Listening gives us a picture of discrimination that is more real than what we can get from reading an article or listening to the radio.

Exercise: You can informally ask people in your neighborhood or organization to tell you a part of their life stories as a member of a particular group. You can also incorporate this activity into a workshop or retreat for your group or organization. Have people each take five or ten minutes to talk about one piece of their life stories. If the group is large, you will probably have to divide into small groups, so everyone gets a chance to speak.

Notice differences in communication styles and values; don't assume that the majority's way is the right way.

We all have a tendency to assume that the way that most people do things is the acceptable, normal, or right way. As community workers, we need to learn about cultural differences in values and communication styles, and not assume that the majority way is the right way to think or behave.

Example: You are in a group discussion. Some group members don't speak up, while others dominate, filling all the silences. The more vocal members of the group become exasperated that others don't talk. It also seems that the more vocal people are those that are members of the more mainstream culture, while those who are less vocal are from minority cultures. How do we understand this? How can this be resolved? In some cultures, people feel uncomfortable with silence, so they speak to fill the silences. In other cultures, it is customary to wait for a period of silence before speaking. If there aren't any silences, people from those cultures may not ever speak. Also, members of some groups (women, people of low income, some racial and ethnic minorities, and others) don't speak up because they have received messages from society at large that their contribution is not as important as others; they have gotten into the habit of deferring their thinking to the thinking of others. When some people don't share their thinking, we all lose out. We all need the opinions and voices of those people who have traditionally been discouraged from contributing. In situations like the one described above, becoming impatient with people for not speaking is usually counter-productive. However, you can structure a meeting to encourage the quieter people to speak. For example, you can: Have people break into pairs before discussing a topic in the larger group. At certain times have each person in the circle make a comment. (People can pass if they want to.) Follow a guideline that everyone speaks once, before anyone speaks twice. Invite the quieter people to lead part of the meeting. Talk about the problem openly in a meeting, and invite the more vocal people to try to speak less often. Between meetings, ask the quieter people what would help them speak, or ask them for their ideas on how a meeting should be run. A high school basketball team has to practice and play on many afternoons and evenings. One team member is a recent immigrant whose family requires her to attend the birthday parties of all the relatives in her extended family. The coach is angry with the parents for this requirement, because it takes his player away from the team. How do we understand this? How can this be resolved? Families have different values, especially when it comes to family closeness, loyalty, and responsibility. In many immigrant and ethnic families, young people are required to put their family's needs first, before the requirements of extra-curricular activities. Young people from immigrant families who grow up in the U.S. often feel torn between the majority culture and the culture of their families; they feel pressure from each cultures to live according to its values, and they feel they have to choose between the two. As community workers, we need to support and respect minority and immigrant families and their values. It may already be a huge concession on the part of a family to allow a teenager to participate in extracurricular activities at all. We need to make allowances for the cultural differences and try to help young people feel that they can have both worlds--instead of having to reject one set of values for another. As community builders, it helps to develop relationships with parents. If a young person sees her parents have relationships with people from the mainstream culture, it can help her feel that their family is accepted. It supports the teen in being more connected to her family and her community--and also, both relationships are critical protective factors for drug and alcohol abuse and other dangerous behaviors. In addition, in building relationships with parents, we develop lines of communication, so when conflicts arise, they can be more easily resolved.

As you are building relationships with people who have different cultural backgrounds than your own, you will probably make mistakes at some point. That happens. Don't let the fear of making mistakes keep you from going ahead and building relationships.

If you say or do something that is insensitive, you can learn something from it. Ask the affected person what bothered or offended them, apologize, and then go on in building the relationship. Don't let guilt bog you down.

Learn to be an ally

One of the best ways to help you build relationships with people of different cultures is to demonstrate that you are willing to take a stand against discrimination when it occurs. People will be much more motivated to get to know you if they see that you are willing to take risks on their behalf.

We also have to educate ourselves and keep informed so that we understand the issues that each group faces and we become involved in their struggles--instead of sitting on the sidelines and watching from a distance. Educate yourself about other cultures by doing your own research, don't ask others to do it for you. There are many resources in this chapter to help you learn. 

Friendship is powerful. It is our connection to each other that gives meaning to our lives. Our caring for each other is often what motivates us to make change. And establishing connections with people from diverse backgrounds can be key in making significant changes in our communities.

As individuals, and in groups, we can change our communities. We can set up neighborhoods and institutions in which people commit themselves to working to form strong relationships and alliances with people of diverse cultures and backgrounds. We can establish networks and coalitions in which people are knowledgeable about each other's struggles, and are willing to lend a hand. Together, we can do it.

Online Resources

Brown University Training Materials :  Cultural Competence and Community Studies: Concepts and Practices for Cultural Competence  The Northeast Education Partnership provides online access to PowerPoint training slides on topics in research ethics and cultural competence in environmental research. These have been created for professionals/students in environmental sciences, health, and policy; and community-based research. If you are interested in receiving an electronic copy of one the presentations, just download their Materials Request Form (found on the main Training Presentations page under "related files"), complete the form, and email it to [email protected] .

The Center for Culturally and Linguistically Appropriate Services  collects and describes early childhood/early intervention resources and serves as point of exchange for users.

Chapter 8: Respect for Diversity in the "Introduction to Community Psychology" explains cultural humility as an approach to diversity, the dimensions of diversity, the complexity of identity, and important cultural considerations.

Culture Matters  is a cross-cultural training workbook developed by the Peace Corps to help new volunteers acquire the knowledge and skills to work successfully and respectfully in other cultures.

Diverse Teams Feel Less Comfortable — and That’s Why They Perform Better from the Harvard Business Review.

Exploring Community-led Racial Healing Models to Deepen Partnerships between Community Development and Healthcare  from the Build Healthy Places Network.

The International & Cross-Cultural Evaluation Topical Interest Group , an organization that is affiliated with the American Evaluation Association, provides evaluators who are interested in cross-cultural issues with opportunities for professional development.

The Multicultural Pavilion  offers resources and dialogue for educators, students and activists on all aspects of multicultural education.

The National Center for Cultural Competence  at Georgetown University increases the capacity of health care and mental health programs to design, implement and evaluate culturally and linguistically competent service delivery systems. Publications and web links available.

National Public Radio's Life Kit project  discusses the importance of having parents talk about social identities with their children.

SIL International makes available " The Stranger’s Eyes ," an article that speaks to cultural sensitivity with questions that can be strong tools for discussion.

Study, Discussion and Action on Issues of Race, Racism and Inclusion : a partial list of resources utilized and prepared by Yusef Mgeni.

Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack : Reflect on how your privilege allows you to walk through the world in order to better connect with others in this essay by Peggy McIntosh.

Organizations:

Center for Living Democracy 289 Fox Farm Rd PO Box 8187 Brattleboro, VT 05304-8187 (802) 254-1234

National Coalition Building Institute (NCBI) 1835 K Street, N.W., Suite 715 Washington, D.C. 20006 (202) 785-9400

Re-evaluation Counseling 719 Second Avenue North Seattle, WA 98109 (206) 284-0113

Southern Poverty Law Center 400 Washington Ave. Montgomery, AL 36104

Print Resource

Axner, D. (1993).  The Community leadership project curriculum . Pomfret, CT: Topsfield Foundation.

Banks, J. (1997).  Educating citizens in a multicultural society . New York, NY: Teachers College Press.

Brown, C.,& Mazza, G. (1997).  Healing into action . Washington, DC: National Coalition Building Institute.

DuPraw, M.,& Axner, M. (1997).  Working on common cross-cultural communication challenges . In Martha McCoy, et. al., Toward a More Perfect Union in an Age of Diversity. Pomfret, CT: Topsfield Foundation, 12-16.

Ford, C. (1994).  We can all get along: 50 steps you can take to end racism . New York, NY: Dell Publishing.

Kaye, G., & Wolff, T. (1995).  From the ground up: A workbook on coalition building and community development . Amherst, MA: AHEC/Community Partners. (Available from Tom Wolff and Associates.)

McCoy, M.,&  et al. (1997).  Toward a more perfect union in an age of diversity: A guide for building stronger communities through public dialogue . Pomfret, CT: Topsfield Foundation.

McIntosh, P. (1988).  White privilege and male privilege: A personal account of coming to see correspondences through work in women's studies . Wellesley, MA: Center for Research on Women, Wellesley College.

Okihiro, G. (1994).  Margins and mainstreams: Asians in American history and culture . Seattle, WA: The University of Washington Press.

Takaki, R. (1993).  A different mirror: A history of multicultural America . Boston: Little, Brown and Company.

Humans’ Relationship and A Good Society Essay

Introduction, aspects of humans’ relationship, benefits of good relationships in the society, qualities of a good society, works cited.

Research has shown that human beings are dependant in nature. We therefore depend on each other to survive and/or succeed in life. The interdependence of people therefore leads to development of interpersonal relationships that are built with the aim of making life better and building frameworks for success (Sayn 1).

Relationships are a common phenomena in the society and they are found everywhere in families, schools, work places, professional teams, etcetera. Each kind of relationship has its own requirements and unofficial rules and each individual relates with a second individual in a unique way depending on the characters of the two individuals. Since there is no perfect society, relationships are built under very strong foundations of mistakes and compromise (Sayn 2).

Other people may opt to conduct research on how they are supposed to relate to people but this has seldom worked for people. Therefore, the strongest relationships are built through people relating with each other and knowing each other with time.

Since the society is made up of people, they are the key determinants of how their society will be. Thus for a society to be a good one, the people living in it should relate well and solve differences with maturity and diplomacy. The achievement of this goal may prove to be evasive but with perseverance and goodwill, a good society is achievable. The people living in the society just have to wish each other well and be willing to help each other as humanly as possible.

The development of a good relationship among human beings living together is of great importance to both the people and the community. It is common knowledge that when individuals in a given community or organization fall out in public, it is the organization that suffers more than the people involved. With this kind of statement, one may even wonder why people have to disagree and bring disgrace to their society causing losses that may be financial or otherwise.

Another reason why the development of a good relationship among people living in a community is essential is the fact that building a relationship acts as an investment or even insurance against misfortunes.

This is because when one gets into a problem, the people he/she relates well with are mostly willing to give him/her a helping hand. On the other hand, a person gives a helping hand to other people in need when they also become unfortunate. As a matter of fact, maintenance of good relationships between and among people costs a lot of sacrifice (Harvey 390). This is because nobody is perfect and thus to maintain a good relationship with other people, there has to be compromises.

For instance, one may know a friend for a very long time as a trustworthy person but the friend may betray him/her one day. In such a case, a wise person will talk to his/her friend and seek to know the reason for the act of betrayal. This is because the friend may have a good reason for the act. Depending on the answer that the friend gives, the former is supposed to make a compromise and have serious dialogue with his/her friend to ensure that such an act will not be repeated.

The essence of this, even on selfish grounds, is the fact that the person, who betrays you today, may be the only one who will be able to help you in a very challenging situation in the future. To ensure that one gives the best contribution for the betterment of his society, there are a number of things that he/she has to ensure that he/she has done.

First of all, people should ignore their desire to live a separate and personal life. People usually tend to keep to themselves instead of including other people in their personal life, who may end up being a bother to them. If this feeling is not withdrawn, relationships will be difficult to come by.

Thus for good relationships among people to exist, people should learn to appreciate the aspect of society and shed off the independence drive that most people live under. This will be very instrumental in helping them cope with people and ultimately help them relate well with members of their society (Shane 300).

Another prerequisite for good relationships is the fact that people must learn the truth about life. Life is a journey that is made up of ups and downs. For one to succeed in life, they should be in a position to face the challenges and accept difficulties as they come. This is because, by passing through challenges, one has a lot to learn and therefore he/she gets valuable skills on how to relate with people.

Part of the challenges is created by the relationships people have with others. Therefore, for any relationship to be declared good enough, the parties must have accepted themselves and the other parties in the relationship as well. If this is observed, the society will be composed of people in good terms with their fellow human beings.

Additionally, people should take the lead in living the kind of life they wish their friends or relatives to live. This way, they will provide an example of what should be done to maintain a healthy relationship. This means that we should do to others what we would want to be done to us.

The fact is that, everyone always wishes the best for themselves (Shane 297). So, if what we wish for us is the same as what we would wish for our neighbours then no bad deeds would be done to other people. Living by this principle implies that the society will only have people who understand each other and who can relate with each other well. In such a case, there will be no law breakers like thieves, hijackers, rapists, arsonists and so on.

A good society is what everyone round the globe is crying for. This is because there are so many benefits that result once the people in a society are in good relationships. The greatest advantage is the presence of peace in the society. Peace is said to prevail when people are in good terms (Harvey 391).

When peace prevails in a society, the people living within the society are able to build stronger relationships since there will be less or no animosity between and among members of the society. On the other hand, a society that lacks peace will have an environment that is not conducive for building relationships primarily because members of the society will not have enough trust towards each other.

A society in which people relate well will be able advance economically. This is because there will be sufficient co-ordination and cooperation in undertaking the affairs of the society. Therefore, with good relationships, people will be able to work together in coming up with projects and also in implementing them. Such projects will be very useful to the community since with proper co-ordination, they will be set up such that they help almost all members of the society (McGinnis 1).

Another benefit of good relationships in the society is that of high productivity in all sectors. When people in the society are in good relationships they are able to combine their efforts and work together hence leading to increased output.

For instance, in a case where a project is to be implemented with limited funding, the community may provide labour and materials for the project to ensure that it is actualized. Such a community will therefore have tremendous growth in its economic welfare. This is because people will have less relationship problems and thus they will be able to give more time to work.

Last but not least, in a society where there are good relationships among people there are few instances of people suffering without help. People will only help others when they are in good terms such that one can freely express their problems and the other person is generously willing to help (Waxmberg 1). For instance, if a person who does not relate well with people gets into trouble, it will be difficult for him/her to get help from other people.

However, if people are in bad relationships, a disease may spread like bush fire as people will not be willing to take responsibility over sharing important information that could help in stopping the same (Shane 300). This leads to death of many innocent people, whose lives would be saved by just informing others. This gives a clear indication of the cost that comes with creation of good relationships among individual.

The society is made up of people and the people make the society. Therefore depending on the type of people forming it up, a society may either be good or bad. A good society is hard to create and find, though with people’s sacrifice and hard work it is possible. A good society is one that makes it comfortable for people to live in it and be associated with.

It is one that gives people the freedom of practicing their rights without being oppressed, it lacks violence and discrimination. It is also one that cares and provides for its inhabitants. The society does this by providing facilities, services and offers like educating the unfortunate students, provision of security and many others.

Research done by many philosophers indicates that a society that values cultural, religious, racial, language and ethnic diversity, and uses them to its advantage becomes a good society. In fact, the diversity should stimulate better relationships since an association between people from different background will be more exciting than that of people from the same background.

Defence on the society is also another essential aspect. Just as it has been discussed above, people will only defend a society in which they have good relationships with the people living therein (McGinnis 1).

Thus, the people’s relationships and the society are inseparable entities and thus the former should not be alienated from the latter. This is because of the mere reason that the two are closely linked and have high degree of correlation. Due to this, human beings are advised to avoid complaining, criticizing, or looking for escape points when they are working for their society.

In conclusion, human beings are the ones who make a society and thus they are also the ones who determine whether the society will be good or not. We should, therefore, appreciate the responsibility we have towards our society and work hard towards making it better.

This can be achieved through the use of the aforementioned approaches in maintaining good relationships with society members and ensuring that the society offers a favourable environment for good relationships. Some specific examples of how one may be of use to his/her society is being active in conflict resolution, coming up with strategies for ensuring that people in the society do not fall out easily and promoting unity within the society.

One may also care for the society by giving assistance in community work and rewarding, encouraging and motivating people working for the society (Waxmberg 1). This is only possible in circumstances where the people are in good relationships because when people are not in good terms most of the times they usually do not wish the best for their opponents. With this point, it is apparent that a good society is more or less self-sustaining because it provides frameworks that make people relate well.

Harvey, J. (2009). Relationship Connection . Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology: Second Edition. Oxford: Oxford University Press. 385–392.

McGinnis, B. (2010). Twenty-One Greatest Ideas in Human Relationships. Web.

Sayn, M. (2002). How to have a good relationship. Web.

Shane, J. (2007). Positive psychology: the scientific and practical explorations of human strengths.” Thousand Oaks, California: Sage Publications, 297–321.

Waxmberg, J. (2007). Our Relationship with Society. Web.

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The Importance of Positive Relationships in the Workplace

With lots of people spending more time at work than on any other daily activity, it is vital that individuals within any organization feel connected and supported by peers, subordinates, and leaders.

Psychosocial hazards related to the culture within an organization, such as poor interpersonal relations and a lack of policies and practices related to respect for workers, are significant contributors to workplace stress (Stoewen, 2016).

While prolonged exposure to these psychosocial hazards is related to increased psychiatric and physiological health problems, positive social relationships among employees are how work gets done.

Whether organizations and their employees flounder or flourish largely depends on the quality of the social relationships therein.

This article will take a look at the science behind positive relationships at work and the importance of positive social interactions, and discuss some of the ways positive employee interaction can be introduced and encouraged in the workplace.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Work & Career Coaching Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients identify opportunities for professional growth and create a more meaningful career.

This Article Contains:

The science behind positive relationships at work, what are the benefits of social interaction at work, why are positive interactions in the workplace so important, how to foster employee interaction in the workplace, a take-home message.

Psychologists have long identified the desire to feel connected to others as a basic human need, and interpersonal relationships have a significant impact on our mental health, health behavior, physical health, and mortality risk (Umberson & Montez, 2010). Our physiological systems are highly responsive to positive social interactions.

Gable and Gosnell (2011) surmised that humans are endowed with separate reflexive brain networks for social thinking. Close relationships are linked to health as they build certain biological systems that may protect against the adverse effects of stress. Their research found that in response to social contact, the brain releases oxytocin, a powerful hormone linked to trustworthiness and motivation to help others in the workplace.

Dunbar and Dunbar (1998) suggested that when individuals experience social pain in the workplace from feeling isolated, for instance, the region of the brain that is activated is the same as if physical pain had been experienced.

Conversely, when relationships in the workplace are characterized by cooperation, trust, and fairness, the reward center of the brain is activated, which encourages future interactions that promote employee trust, respect, and confidence, with employees believing the best in each other and inspiring each other in their performance (Geue, 2017).

Positive social interactions at work directly affect the body’s physiological processes. According to Heaphy and Dutton (2008), positive social interactions serve to bolster physiological resourcefulness by fortifying the cardiovascular, immune, and neuroendocrine systems through immediate and enduring decreases in cardiovascular reactivity, strengthened immune responses, and healthier hormonal patterns.

Put simply, when employees experience positive relationships, the body’s ability to build, maintain, and repair itself is improved both in and out of the workplace.

1. Employee engagement

Social interactions play an essential role in wellbeing, which, in turn, has a positive impact on employee engagement.

Organizations with higher levels of employee engagement indicated lower business costs, improved performance outcomes, lower staff turnover and absenteeism, and fewer safety incidents (Gallup, 2015).

2. Shared knowledge

Social interaction can lead to knowledge and productivity spillover from trained to untrained workers in collaborative team settings or between senior and junior workers, particularly in low-skilled tasks and occupations (Cornelissen, 2016).

For instance, Mas and Moretti (2009) found that productivity was improved when employees were assigned to work alongside faster, more knowledgeable coworkers.

3. Employee satisfaction

Employees who are satisfied with the overall quality of their workplace relationships are likely to be more attached to the organization.

Leaders who encourage informal interactions, such as after-hours social gatherings, can foster the development of more positive relationships and significantly influence and improve employee satisfaction (Sias, 2005).

4. Reduce health risks

A lack of social interaction in the workplace can have potentially negative consequences in relation to social support.

Several studies have indicated that the sense of isolation that comes from this lack of social support is associated with a host of negative health consequences, including a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, compromised immunity, increased risk of depression, and shortened lifespan (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015; Cacioppo, Hawkley, Norman, & Berntson, 2011; Mushtaq, Shoib, Shah, & Mushtaq, 2014).

5. Innovation

Strong within-group ties with coworkers (characterized by frequent social interactions) provide opportunities to facilitate innovative thinking.

According to Wang, Fang, Qureshi, and Janssen (2015), the strong ties developed by social interactions assist innovators in the search for inspiration, sponsorship, and support within the workplace.

6. Connection

Social interactions in the workplace help to ensure everyone in a group is on the same page. According to Sias, Krone, and Jablin (2002), peer relationships (also referred to as equivalent-status relationships) represent the most common type of employee interaction.

These peer relationships exist between coworkers with no formal authority over one another and act as an important source of informational and emotional support for employees. Coworkers who possess knowledge about and an understanding of their specific workplace experience are given opportunities to feel connected and included through the sharing of information through regular social interactions.

7. Positive feelings

Social interactions in the workplace have been found to increase self-reported positive feelings at the end of the workday (Nolan & Küpers, 2009).

Repeated positive social interactions cultivate greater shared experiences and the gradual development of more trusting relationships (Oh, Chung, & Labianca, 2004). When trust exists between team members, they are more likely to engage in positive, cooperative behavior, which in turn increases employee access to valuable resources.

9. Altruism

Employees who engage in positive social interactions also tend to exhibit more altruistic behaviors by providing coworkers with help, guidance, advice, and feedback on various work-related matters (Hamilton, 2007).

10. Team performance

The information collated through social interaction can help a team collectively improve its performance and the precision of its estimates (Jayles et al., 2017).

11. Improved motivation

Social interaction and positive relationships are important for various attitudinal, wellbeing, and performance-related outcomes. Basford and Offermann (2012) found that employees in both low- and high-status positions reported higher levels of motivation when interpersonal relationships with coworkers were good.

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As with any interpersonal relationship, those formed in the workplace reflect a varying and dynamic spectrum of quality.

At their very best, interactions can be a source of enrichment and vitality that helps and encourages individuals, groups, and organizations as a whole to thrive and flourish.

Conversely, negative workplace interactions have the potential to be a source of psychological distress, depletion, and dysfunction.

Positive social interactions are often referred to as appetitive. They are characterized by the pursuit of rewarding and desirable outcomes, while negative ones are aversive and commonly characterized by unwelcome and punishing results (Reis & Gable, 2003).

Positive interactions in the workplace have been shown to improve job satisfaction and positively influence staff turnover, as employees who experience support from colleagues are more likely to remain in an organization long term (Hodson, 2004; Moynihan & Pandey, 2008).

Furthermore, positive interactions between supportive coworkers who provide help and clarify tasks can improve an individual’s understanding of their role, thus reducing job role ambiguity and workload, which, according to Chiaburu and Harrison (2008), may ultimately increase job satisfaction and organizational commitment.

Positive interactions in the workplace are marked by trust, mutual regard, and active engagement. According to Rosales (2016), interactions characterized in this way can improve employee awareness of others, foster positive emotions such as empathy and compassion, and increase the likelihood of trusting, respectful engagement between individuals.

In contrast, negative ties between two individuals at work are characterized by animosity, exclusion, or avoidance, which can cause stress and job dissatisfaction (Rosales, 2016).

This can, unsurprisingly, have a detrimental effect upon an employee’s emotional wellbeing; social relations at work that are disrespectful, distrustful, and lack reciprocity are independent predictors of medically diagnosed depression (Oksanen, Kouvonen, Vahtera, Virtanen, & Kivimäki, 2010).

Employees tend to be involved in many dyadic relationships within the workplace, with individuals generally possessing both negative and positive ties. However, when individuals have more negative associations with coworkers than positive, they might experience negative moods, emotions, and other adverse outcomes such as social ostracism (Venkataramani & Dalal, 2007).

Mastroianni and Storberg-Walker (2014) indicated that wellbeing is enhanced through work interactions when those interactions are trusting, collaborative, and positive, and when employees feel valued and respected. Interactions lacking these characteristics were found to detract from wellbeing and negatively impacted sleeping and eating patterns, socializing, exercise, personal relations, careers, and energy.

With the amount of time we spend at work, it is imperative that employees feel connected and supported through positive social relationships. Seligman (2011) noted that happiness could not be achieved without social relationships, and while social relationships do not guarantee happiness, happiness does not often occur without them (Diener & Seligman, 2002).

Such connections and interactions give energy to individuals and to the organization in which they work, whereas negative relationships may deplete energy and lead to individual and corporate floundering (Ragins & Dutton, 2007).

Given the organizational and personal benefits of positive workplace relationships, creating opportunities for and fostering positive social interactions should be a paramount objective for team leaders and managers.

According to the Society for Human Resource Management’s 2016 Employee Job Satisfaction and Employee Report , relationships with colleagues were the number one contributor to employee engagement, with 77% of respondents listing workplace connections as a priority.

It is therefore crucial that leaders and managers determine ways to promote positive workplace relationships. In doing so, organizations are better able to adopt a more relationship-centric outlook wherein the fostering of positive employee interactions becomes a goal in and of itself. According to Geue (2017), ‘elevating interactions’ is a critical requirement in creating a positive work environment.

In general, maximizing engagement levels can be boiled down to two key concepts: removing barriers that limit social interaction in the workplace and creating opportunities for employees to engage with each other. These outcomes can be achieved in several ways, and while not all approaches are suitable for all organizational types, the concepts hold true.

Promote face-to-face interaction

With the advent of digital communication, we’re now only ever a few clicks away from contact with virtually anyone anywhere in the world. While the internet has facilitated communication on a scale hereto unrivaled, there’s a lot to be said for traditional face-to-face interaction. An email might be easier, but we lose the nuances of nonverbal cues and tone.

For traditional workplaces, consider the layout of shared working environments. Is the layout of the office conducive to employee interaction? Considering the stereotypical ‘bull-pen’ office environment, literally removing the barriers between employees can open doors for social interaction opportunities.

Include remote workers

What about employees who work remotely? The upward trend in telecommuting is expected to continue over the coming years, with more employees working from home (or otherwise remotely), posing fresh challenges for the relationship-centric organization.

While organizations have been keen to reap the benefits of access to a broader talent pool and reduced office overheads, remote workers pose a challenge to the relationship-centric workplace.

Where in-person interaction isn’t feasible, face-to-face interaction can still be facilitated using social technology. Using video-conferencing software regularly can help to foster positive social relationships for remote workers.

Plan collaborative events

Dedicating time to specifically promoting positive social interactions in the workplace can be a powerful route to ensuring the relationship-centric approach doesn’t fall by the wayside amidst organizational pressure to achieve.

Set aside time for employees to interact; focus on interests and experiences out of work to direct attention to shared interests to allow for employees to discover commonalities and relatedness.

Effectively mediate conflict

Both employees and employers require meaningful relationships with others in the workplace, and yet these needs may be impeded by counterproductive and destructive workplace practices (Bolden & Gosling, 2006).

Organizational leaders should attempt to minimize negative interactions between employees by proactively mediating and resolving differences and building a culture of open communication that fosters trust and relationship building.

Lead by example

Creating a physical environment that nurtures positive social interactions between employees is a significant first step, but to promote relationships, a good team leader, supervisor, or manager should practice what they preach.

By establishing consistent patterns of behavior that exemplify the desired culture, you can promote an emotional environment of inclusivity and positivity.

Positive psychology founding father Martin Seligman’s (2011) PERMA model highlights five critical elements for mental wellbeing, which business leaders can adopt to promote a positive culture that encourages belonging.

The five elements of the PERMA model are:

• Positive emotion
• Positive relationships
• Achievement/accomplishment

Learn how to put the PERMA model into practice here .

The workplace is one of the few environments where people are ‘forced’ into relationships. By their very nature, workplace environments are made up of a blend of diverse groups of people, many of whom would have very little interest in freely meeting or socializing outside of the workplace. While a company’s greatest asset is its employees, those employees do not work together harmoniously all the time.

There are, however, actions that any individual or organization can take to encourage employee interaction and develop an inclusive workplace culture. Through the promotion of positive social interactions, workplace relationships can be a source of individual and collective growth, learning, and flourishing.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Work & Career Coaching Exercises for free .

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Essay on Healthy Relationships

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100 Words Essay on Healthy Relationships

What is a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship is like a good friendship. It is when two people spend time together and enjoy each other’s company. They respect each other, listen to each other, and understand each other’s needs. They support each other in good and bad times. A healthy relationship is full of love, trust, and happiness.

Importance of Communication

Talking and listening are important in a healthy relationship. It helps people understand each other better. They can share their feelings, thoughts, and ideas. Good communication also helps to solve problems and avoid misunderstandings.

Trust and Honesty

Trust and honesty are key in a healthy relationship. Trust means believing in the other person. Honesty means telling the truth. Both help to build a strong and loving relationship. They make people feel safe and comfortable with each other.

Respect and Boundaries

Respect is treating others the way you want to be treated. It is about valuing the other person’s feelings, thoughts, and choices. Boundaries are also important. They are rules that help people feel safe and comfortable. They protect people’s personal space and freedom.

Dealing with Conflicts

Conflicts can happen in any relationship. But in a healthy relationship, people handle conflicts in a positive way. They listen to each other, understand the problem, and find a solution together. They do not hurt each other’s feelings or make each other feel bad.

250 Words Essay on Healthy Relationships

A healthy relationship is a bond between two or more people. It is filled with respect, trust, honesty, and good communication. In such relationships, people feel safe and happy. They enjoy spending time together and support each other in good and bad times.

Key Features

There are some important features of a healthy relationship. These include open communication, respect, trust, and equality. Open communication means that people talk freely about their feelings. Respect means that they value each other’s opinions and feelings. Trust means that they believe in each other. Equality means that they treat each other as equals.

Why are Healthy Relationships Important?

Healthy relationships are important for our well-being. They make us feel happy and secure. They also help us grow as individuals. In a healthy relationship, we learn to trust and respect others. We also learn to communicate our feelings in a better way.

How to Build Healthy Relationships?

Building a healthy relationship takes effort. It starts with respect and trust. We should respect each other’s feelings and trust each other. We should also communicate openly. If there is a problem, we should talk about it and find a solution together. We should also spend quality time together. This helps to strengthen the bond.

In conclusion, a healthy relationship is a beautiful bond. It is filled with respect, trust, and good communication. It makes us feel happy and secure. It helps us grow as individuals. To build a healthy relationship, we should respect, trust, and communicate openly with each other.

500 Words Essay on Healthy Relationships

A healthy relationship is like a good friendship. It is filled with respect, trust, honesty, and good communication. In a healthy relationship, both people feel good about each other and about themselves.

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

There are many signs of a healthy relationship. One of the most important is respect. This means that each person values the other and understands and respects their rights.

Another sign is trust. Trust is like a strong rope that holds the relationship together. If there is trust, each person feels secure and safe.

Good communication is also a sign of a healthy relationship. It’s like a bridge that connects two people. With good communication, both people can express their feelings and thoughts openly and honestly.

Importance of a Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships are very important for our happiness and well-being. They give us a sense of belonging and help us feel loved and valued. They also provide support when we face challenges or problems.

Moreover, healthy relationships teach us important life skills. They help us learn how to respect others, how to trust, and how to communicate effectively. These skills are very helpful in all areas of our life.

Building a Healthy Relationship

Building a healthy relationship is like planting a seed and taking care of it so it can grow into a strong tree. It takes time, effort, and patience.

The first step is to build respect. This can be done by treating the other person with kindness, listening to them, and valuing their opinions.

The second step is to build trust. This can be done by being honest, reliable, and keeping promises.

The third step is to build good communication. This can be done by talking openly about feelings and thoughts, listening carefully, and trying to understand the other person’s point of view.

In conclusion, a healthy relationship is a valuable part of our lives. It is built on respect, trust, and good communication. It brings us joy and helps us grow as individuals. Building a healthy relationship takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. Remember, everyone deserves to be in a healthy and happy relationship.

This essay is a simple guide to understanding the concept of healthy relationships. It is important to remember that each relationship is unique and may require different approaches. But the basic principles of respect, trust, and communication always remain the same.

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Essay on Relationship for Students in English | 500 Words Essay

December 20, 2020 by Sandeep

Essay on Relationship: Humans are social animals; they love to connect and interact with people because we are all interdependent on each other. In the process, we tend to build beautiful, and long-lasting bonds called relationships. We forge relationships with our family members, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbours and even animals. We have to nurture ties in a relationship with love, care, self-respect and mutual understanding. Transformation and change are also part of beautiful relationships.

Essay on Relationship 500 Words in English

Below we have provided Relationship Essay in English, suitable for class 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10.

A relationship is a state of being connected. It is also referred to as a close connection between two people. The concept of a relationship is broad, interconnected and varies from person to person. It is the outcome of emotional bonds and interactions. Mutual experiences, love and affection strengthen these strong ties. There are various types of relationships like family, friendship, acquaintanceship and romantic relationships.

Family relationships: Family plays a vital role in developing strong bonds and instilling values. It is our foundation for future endeavours and successful connections. As a member of the family, we are associated with blood through the relationship with parents, brother and sister and non-blood such as aunts or uncles. We grow up together with siblings and other relatives and eventually form a healthy bond. It is in the family that children learn to be compassionate and considerate towards each other and then follow the legacy ahead. Guidance, support, boundaries and disciple are all necessary elements that should run in the family.

Friendship: Friends are again considered as second family whom we trust, respect, care, and love. A good company is based upon loyalty, honesty and support. How strong your friendship is depending upon how close you are to the person. Out of many, only a few of them are considered as best friends and confided to share personal problems and happiness. We can choose our friends and create a comfortable space with them. The quality should matter over quantity.

Romantic relationship: It is a relationship that we attach ourselves firmly. It exists between the husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, boyfriend and boyfriend and girlfriend and girlfriend. They marry or stay in a live-in relationship together. It is the closest and essential relationship of all. The people develop profound connection and bond that they do not feel with any other person. Such relationships are built on respect, love, support, acceptance, consideration and shared interests. Here, the compatibility, attitude and thinking guide the relationship ahead to become successful.

Acquaintances: These are the people we encounter regularly but are not our relatives or friends. It can be a neighbour or a work colleague, but it is necessary to show respect and politeness. Greeting them with a smile is the most crucial action to show that the world is kind. Moreover, such relationships later evolve into friendships or even marriage.

The relationships mentioned above mould our personal life. However, the success of these relationships depends upon what we as individuals are prepared to invest in them. The core ingredient required for any relationship to sustain is the amount of trust and willingness we show to each other. It is imperative to communicate effectively, apologise and accept mistakes, take responsibility, maintain humility and give each additional space and time.

We face challenges like breakups, loss of a job, infidelity and fluctuations in financial status, which affects our bond and impacts the relationship. Therefore, in such hard times, it is essential we hold on to each other patiently and lovingly. When a relationship is working fine, and everything is merry, we tend to become complacent ignoring or stop attending to other person’s needs and expectations. Due to this, misunderstandings develop further making it worse.

Therefore, it is necessary to check up on each other regularly by engaging in meaningful conversations and to bring changes if required. Moreover, instead of pointing out at others, we need to self-analyze and be aware of our actions. We need to ask questions such as, Am I communicating openly? Have I hurt anyone through my words? Am I expecting too much, or do I assume my responsibility appropriately? In doing so, we need to acknowledge others for their hard work and time.

Developing a positive attitude is the key to strengthen the connection. There should be a frequent display of appreciation and usage of kind words. Furthermore, listening is the utmost important communication skill of all. Understanding another person’s situation is essential to solve problems and avoid conflicts. Since arguments are inevitable in any relationship, it is mandatory to demonstrate modesty and forgiveness instead of taking a stance of I win, you lose. Lastly, all relationships go through hell; only real ones get through it and emerge victoriously.

Short Essay on Relationship 250 Words in English

Relationship Essay, suitable for classes 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.

Humans interact with each other every day. Through such interaction and communication, relationships are formed. The quality of any relationship depends upon the following three essential traits such as reliability, trust and healthy conversation. If these traits are fulfilled then only the bond sustains for a more extended time. Moreover, having a relationship is crucial to our mental status, which ensures a healthy mind and a happy family.

Every person seeks a perfect relationship but lacks the mechanics to achieve one. In such conditions, we fail to develop a supportive relationship. It is necessary to provide emotional and psychological support, love and affection to one another so that it gives meaning to life.

To have a good and successful relationship, people need to be patient, peaceful and motivate each other. As a member, everybody should strive hard to maintain a healthy relationship with each other. The children should be imbibed with the values concerning the relationships. To do so, one must convey ideas, thoughts, feelings and expectations among the people. Any obstacle or difficulty must be dealt with a successful contribution.

Furthermore, each member should understand their role in a particular relationship and play their part accordingly. A relationship can be with your family, friends, colleague, husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. Therefore, knowing our position and its accountability enhances the essence of any relationship. An individual realizes his/her worth and identity when they have a significant connection to each other.

According to the researchers, people need each other to live long. As man is a social animal, he needs to surround himself with associations and robust connections. If not so, then humans undergo depression and start feeling lonely. They neglect their purpose and enter into a self-damaging mindset. Hence, to heal from problems to share happiness, we require positive and supportive people who will guide and encourage us.

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6 Types of Relationships and Their Effect on Your Life

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

Verywell / Laura Porter

What Is a Relationship?

Basic types of relationships, defining your relationship, how to keep your relationship healthy.

Interpersonal relationships make up a huge and vital part of your life. These relationships can range from close and intimate to distant and challenging. No matter the nature of the relationship, different types of relationships help make up the social support network that is pivotal for both your physical and mental well-being.

To better understand and discuss these relationships accurately, it can be helpful to learn more about the different types of relationships that a person can have. 

A relationship is any connection between two people, which can be either positive or negative.

You can have a relationship with a wide range of people, including family and friends. The phrase "being in a relationship," while often linked with romantic relationships, can refer to various associations one person has with another.

To "be in a relationship" doesn't always mean there is physical intimacy, emotional attachment, and/or commitment involved. People engage in many different types of relationships that have unique characteristics.

Relationships typically fall into one of several different categories (although these can sometimes overlap):

• Family relationships
• Friendships
• Acquaintances
• Romantic relationships
• Sexual relationships
• Work relationships
• Situational relationships (sometimes called " situationships ")

These different forms of relationships can vary greatly in terms of closeness, and there are also different subtypes of relationships within each of these basic types. Some of the different kinds of relationships that you might experience at some point in your life include the following.

While there are many different types of relationships, the four main types are typically identified as family relationships, romantic relationships, friendships, and acquaintanceships.

Platonic Relationships

A platonic relationship is a type of friendship that involves a close, intimate bond without sex or romance. These relationships tend to be characterized by:

• Understanding

Platonic relationships can occur in a wide range of settings and can involve same-sex or opposite-sex friendships. You might form a platonic relationship with a classmate or co-worker, or you might make a connection with a person in another setting such as a club, athletic activity, or volunteer organization you are involved in.

This type of relationship can play an essential role in providing social support, which is essential for your health and well-being. Research suggests that platonic friendships can help reduce your risk for disease, lower your risk for depression or anxiety, and boost your immunity.

Platonic relationships are those that involve closeness and friendship without sex. Sometimes platonic relationships can change over time and shift into a romantic or sexual relationship.

Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships are those characterized by feelings of love and attraction for another person. While romantic love can vary, it often involves feelings of infatuation, intimacy, and commitment. 

Experts have come up with a variety of different ways to describe how people experience and express love. For example, psychologist Robert Sternberg suggests three main components of love: passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment. Romantic love, he explains, is a combination of passion and intimacy.

Romantic relationships tend to change over time. At the start of a relationship, people typically experience stronger feelings of passion. During this initial infatuation period, the brain releases specific neurotransmitters ( dopamine , oxytocin , and serotonin ) that cause people to feel euphoric and "in love." 

Over time, these feelings start to lessen in their intensity. As the relationship matures, people develop deeper levels of emotional intimacy and understanding.  

Romantic relationships often burn hot at the beginning. While the initial feelings of passion usually lessen in strength over time, feelings of trust, emotional intimacy, and commitment grow stronger.

Codependent Relationships

A codependent relationship is an imbalanced, dysfunctional type of relationship in which a partner has an emotional, physical, or mental reliance on the other person.

It is also common for both partners to be mutually co-dependent on each other. Both may take turns enacting the caretaker role, alternating between the caretaker and the receiver of care.

Characteristics of a codependent relationship include:

• Acting as a giver while the other person acts as a taker
• Going to great lengths to avoid conflict with the other person
• Feeling like you have to ask permission to do things
• Having to save or rescue the other person from their own actions
• Doing things to make someone happy, even if they make you uncomfortable
• Feeling like you don't know who you are in the relationship
• Elevating the other person even if they've done nothing to earn your goodwill and admiration

Not all codependent relationships are the same, however. They can vary in terms of severity. Codependency can impact all different types of relationships including relationships between romantic partners, parents and children, friendship, other family members, and even coworkers.

Codependent relationships are co-constructed. While one partner might seem more "needy," the other partner might feel more comfortable being needed.

Someone who feels more comfortable being needed, for instance, may avoid focusing on their own needs by choosing a partner who constantly needs them.

Casual Relationships

Casual relationships often involve dating relationships that may include sex without expectations of monogamy or commitment. However, experts suggest that the term is vague and can mean different things to different people. 

According to the authors of one study published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality , casual relationships can encompass situations such as:

• One-night stands
• Booty calls
• "Sex" buddies
• Friends with benefits 

Such relationships often exist on a continuum that varies in the levels of frequency of contact, type of contact, amount of personal disclosure, discussion of the relationship, and degree of friendship. The study found that people with more sexual experience were better able to identify the definitions of these labels compared to people with less sexual experience.

Casual relationships are often common among young adults. As long as casual relationships are marked by communication and consent, they can have several sex-positive benefits. They can satisfy the need for sex, intimacy, connection, and companionship without the emotional demand and energy commitment of a more serious relationship.

Casual relationships tend to be more common among younger adults, but people of any age can engage in this type of relationship. Consent and communication are key.

Open Relationships

An open relationship is a type of consensually non-monogamous relationship in which one or more partners have sex or relationships with other people. Both people agree to have sex with other people in an open relationship but may have certain conditions or limitations.

Open relationships can take place in any type of romantic relationship, whether casual, dating, or married. 

There tends to be a stigma surrounding non-monogamous relationships. Still, research suggests that around 21% to 22% of adults will be involved in some type of open relationship at some point in their life.

The likelihood of engaging in an open relationship also depends on gender and sexual orientation. Men reported having higher numbers of open relationships compared to women; people who identify as gay, lesbian, and bisexual relative to those who identify as heterosexual were more likely to report previous engagement in open relationships.

Such relationships can have benefits, including increased sexual freedom and pitfalls such as jealousy and emotional pain. Open relationships are more successful when couples establish personal, emotional, and sexual boundaries and clearly communicate their feelings and needs with one another.

Open relationships are a form of consensual non-monogamy. While there is a primary emotional and often physical connection between the two people in the relationship, they mutually agree to intimacy with other people outside of the relationship.

Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship is any type of interpersonal relationship where your emotional, physical, or psychological well-being is undermined or threatened in some way. Such relationships often leave you feeling ashamed, humiliated, misunderstood, or unsupported.

Any type of relationship can be toxic including friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, or workplace relationships.

Toxic relationships are characterized by:

• A lack of support
• Competitiveness
• Controlling behaviors
• Gaslighting
• Passive-aggressive behaviors
• Poor communication

Sometimes all people in a relationship play a role in creating this toxicity. For example, you may be contributing to toxicity if you are all consistently unkind, critical, insecure, and negative.

In other cases, one person in a relationship may behave in ways that create toxic feelings. This may be intentional, but in other cases, people may not fully understand how they are affecting other people. Because of their past experiences with relationships, often in their home growing up, they may not know any other way of acting and communicating.

This doesn't just create discontentment—toxic relationships can take a serious toll on your health. For example, according to one study, stress caused by negative relationships has a direct impact on cardiovascular health. Feeling isolated and misunderstood in a relationship can also lead to loneliness , which has been shown to have detrimental effects on both physical and mental health.

Toxic relationships can be stressful, harmful, and even abusive. If you are in a toxic relationship with someone in your life, work on creating strong boundaries to protect yourself. Talk to a mental health professional or consider terminating the relationship if it is causing you harm.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database .

How you define your relationship depends on various factors, including what matters to you and how the other person feels. To define your relationship, it can be helpful to ask a few questions:

• Do you have romantic feelings for one another?
• What does each person hope to get out of the relationship?
• How much time do you want to spend together?
• Where do you see the relationship going?
• Are you currently involved with or want to be involved with other people?

Figuring out what matters to you and your partner is an important step in defining the type of relationship you are interested in having. You might find that you are both on the same page or discover that you want different things out of your relationship. 

Defining your relationship doesn't have to mean committing for the long-term. Instead, it can be a way to help you both better understand the boundaries and expectations of your relationship.

Regardless of how you define your relationship, there are important steps you can take to ensure that your connection is healthy. Strategies that can help include:

• Showing appreciation and gratitude
• Communicating openly and honestly
• Being affectionate and showing that you care 
• Mutual respect 
• Actively listening
• Showing interest in each other
• Being supportive and encouraging
• Feeling empathy for each other
• Spending time together
• Having healthy boundaries
• Being trustworthy

Communication is often the single most important thing in a relationship. Good relationships are also marked by honesty, trust , and reciprocity . This doesn't mean that the relationship is purely transactional ; it indicates that you naturally engage in a give and take that provides mutually beneficial support.

A Word From Verywell

No matter what type of relationship you have with another person(s), it is important for it to be a healthy one. Healthy relationships are characterized by trust, mutual respect, openness, honesty, and affection. Good communication is also a hallmark of a healthy relationship.

There are steps that you can take to improve your relationships with other people. Making sure you let others know you care and showing your appreciation are two strategies that can be helpful. 

But if a relationship is causing stress or shows signs of being toxic, look for ways to establish clear boundaries, talk to a therapist, or even consider ending the relationship if it is too unhealthy.

Social relationships are important and they come in all different types. Having a variety of relationships with different people can ensure that you have the support and connections you need for your emotional health and well-being. 

Miller A. Friends wanted . Monitor on Psychology . 2014;45(1):54.

Gawda B. The structure of the concepts related to love spectrum: emotional verbal fluency technique application, initial psychometrics, and its validation . J Psycholinguist Res . 2019;48(6):1339-1361. doi:10.1007/s10936-019-09661-y

Wentland JJ, Reissing ED. Casual sexual relationships: Identifying definitions for one night stands, booty calls, f--- buddies, and friends with benefits . Can J Hum Sex. 2014;23(3):167-177. doi:10.3138/cjhs.2744

Rodrigue C, Fernet M. A metasynthesis of qualitative studies on casual sexual relationships and experiences . Can J Hum Sex . 2016;25(3):225-242. doi:10.3138/cjhs.253-a6

Haupert ML, Gesselman AN, Moors AC, Fisher HE, Garcia JR. Prevalence of experiences with consensual nonmonogamous relationships: Findings from two national samples of single Americans . J Sex Marital Ther . 2017;43(5):424-440. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2016.1178675

Birditt KS, Newton NJ, Cranford JA, Ryan LH. Stress and negative relationship quality among older couples: Implications for blood pressure . J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci . 2016;71(5):775-85. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbv023

Lavner JA, Bradbury TN.  Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce? .  J Fam Psychol . 2012;26(1):1-10. doi:10.1037/a00259

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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‘Not being jerks to each other helps’: readers on staying friends with an ex

A breakup doesn’t always mean the end of the road. Readers share their experiences on transitioning from romantic to platonic relationships

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A scorched-earth policy after a breakup might seem like the quickest option for some. But for others, it’s worth the effort to keep things sweet even when the romance has soured. Whether the motivation is shared children or pets, cost-of-living concerns or simply liking the person even if things didn’t work out as lovers, readers shared overwhelmingly positive experiences about staying friends with an ex.

While the transition came quite naturally for some, the consensus is it takes work and that each “post-dissolution friendship” is as unique as the reasons the former couple came together in the first place.

Readers agreed that time, boundaries and the right intentions were the keys to success.

‘Are you in the friendship for the right reasons?’

I had a rebound relationship with a woman after a disastrous breakup involving kids, infidelity and an acrimonious financial settlement. I was messy and not exactly girlfriend material.

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Our relationship and connection, while short, gave me my spark back; she was so very kind, tender and wise. And I think it was good for her too, for a time.

After we broke up it took at least six months to consider friendship. It was her suggestion that we might start hanging out platonically and she was very clear with no mixed messaging. It seemed like a risk worth taking.

A year on I still have occasional internal conflict about it, but if I start lurching into emotional grey areas I take a break and recalibrate. It’s important to interrogate your motives: are you in the friendship for the right reasons and can you be a true friend? I find a philosophical approach helps enormously. Kat, Australia

‘Nothing good ever comes from being a jerk’

After 12 years of marriage my wife and I have finally called it quits but we can’t really afford to move out and live on our own. We have a functional friendship, but it is awkward. Neither of us has a good reason to hate each other. We just fell out of love. Critically, it’s too expensive to go our separate ways so we’re making do for the time being. I’d still consider us best friends, but we’re just flatmates now. Who knows how it will pan out longer term, but not being jerks to each other helps. Nothing good ever comes from being a jerk. Anonymous, Australia

‘I cannot imagine not having him as a friend’

If you have genuine love for a person, romantic feelings can change into friendship and respect with a bit of time. Breaking up can bring out the worst in people, but if you can accept your part in it, it allows more compassion for the other person.

Twenty years ago I broke up with a long-term boyfriend from Italy. Although I was hurt at the time, I was able to acknowledge that we had both behaved badly and were equally responsible for our relationship ending. It takes a while to be able to be real friends – for us it was almost 10 years. Early on we had disastrous breakup sex and then stayed in contact but continued to fight occasionally. Once we got it out of our systems we realised that we love each other as people.

I have met his wife and child; he has met mine. My daughter loves him and thinks he is hilarious. Our friendship is no threat to our current relationships. I cannot imagine not knowing him or having him as a friend.

Of course, if your partner has been an absolute toad, be done with them. Brigid, Australia

‘Your current relationship should always take precedence’

After a long-term partner and I broke up decades ago, we wanted the best for each other. We had mutual friends, were close with each other’s family and loved each other. On the advice of a counsellor we had a complete 12 months of no contact after the breakup. We were able to meet up again after that with less angst and more understanding.

We’ve been very good friends for the last 23 years. I’m like an uncle to her kids and we socialise often with my partner and hers. When she had her first child I felt very emotional. I ended up not having kids and it prompted me to think about what I wanted and whether that was a factor in our breakup.

Remaining in each other’s lives has worked with some caveats. Your current relationship should always take precedence. Although my partner gets on with my ex, there’s a limit to how much interaction is acceptable and I understand that if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn’t be as happy. A friendship with an ex can seem loaded due to shared history and the intimacy so it’s important to be firm about boundaries. Anonymous, Australia

‘Maintaining our family unit has made me happier’

Letting your ego get in the way of relationship “conversion” is shortsighted. It’s natural to get bitter and to feel sorry for yourself when a relationship ends, but it will only make your pain worse.

I was devastated when my husband of 30 years left me to be on his own. More than half my adult life had been shared with him.

It isn’t always easy, but focusing on the goodness in an ex is ultimately in your best interest. Losing my marriage was the hardest thing I have had to endure. Forgiving my husband, supporting him and maintaining our family unit have made me happier. I couldn’t bear the thought of us not being able to stay friends. Anonymous, Australia

Quotes have been edited for structure, clarity and length.

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The Case for Marrying an Older Man

A woman’s life is all work and little rest. an age gap relationship can help..

In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery. We take long, scorching walks to the village — gratuitous beauty, gratuitous heat — kicking up dust and languid debates over how we’d spend such an influx. I purchase scratch-offs, jackpot tickets, scraping the former with euro coins in restaurants too fine for that. I never cash them in, nor do I check the winning numbers. For I already won something like the lotto, with its gifts and its curses, when he married me.

He is ten years older than I am. I chose him on purpose, not by chance. As far as life decisions go, on balance, I recommend it.

When I was 20 and a junior at Harvard College, a series of great ironies began to mock me. I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting. I shared it with the average, idle young woman shrugging down the street. The thought, when it descended on me, jolted my perspective, the way a falling leaf can make you look up: I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early.

So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors. I had high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out. Apologies to Progress, but older men still desired those things.

I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can. As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books I’d read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. I’d have disliked being called calculating, but I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.

I was competitive by nature, an English-literature student with all the corresponding major ambitions and minor prospects (Great American novel; email job). A little Bovarist , frantic for new places and ideas; to travel here, to travel there, to be in the room where things happened. I resented the callow boys in my class, who lusted after a particular, socially sanctioned type on campus: thin and sexless, emotionally detached and socially connected, the opposite of me. Restless one Saturday night, I slipped on a red dress and snuck into a graduate-school event, coiling an HDMI cord around my wrist as proof of some technical duty. I danced. I drank for free, until one of the organizers asked me to leave. I called and climbed into an Uber. Then I promptly climbed out of it. For there he was, emerging from the revolving doors. Brown eyes, curved lips, immaculate jacket. I went to him, asked him for a cigarette. A date, days later. A second one, where I discovered he was a person, potentially my favorite kind: funny, clear-eyed, brilliant, on intimate terms with the universe.

I used to love men like men love women — that is, not very well, and with a hunger driven only by my own inadequacies. Not him. In those early days, I spoke fondly of my family, stocked the fridge with his favorite pasta, folded his clothes more neatly than I ever have since. I wrote his mother a thank-you note for hosting me in his native France, something befitting a daughter-in-law. It worked; I meant it. After graduation and my fellowship at Oxford, I stayed in Europe for his career and married him at 23.

Of course I just fell in love. Romances have a setting; I had only intervened to place myself well. Mainly, I spotted the precise trouble of being a woman ahead of time, tried to surf it instead of letting it drown me on principle. I had grown bored of discussions of fair and unfair, equal or unequal , and preferred instead to consider a thing called ease.

The reception of a particular age-gap relationship depends on its obviousness. The greater and more visible the difference in years and status between a man and a woman, the more it strikes others as transactional. Transactional thinking in relationships is both as American as it gets and the least kosher subject in the American romantic lexicon. When a 50-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman walk down the street, the questions form themselves inside of you; they make you feel cynical and obscene: How good of a deal is that? Which party is getting the better one? Would I take it? He is older. Income rises with age, so we assume he has money, at least relative to her; at minimum, more connections and experience. She has supple skin. Energy. Sex. Maybe she gets a Birkin. Maybe he gets a baby long after his prime. The sight of their entwined hands throws a lucid light on the calculations each of us makes, in love, to varying degrees of denial. You could get married in the most romantic place in the world, like I did, and you would still have to sign a contract.

Twenty and 30 is not like 30 and 40; some freshness to my features back then, some clumsiness in my bearing, warped our decade, in the eyes of others, to an uncrossable gulf. Perhaps this explains the anger we felt directed at us at the start of our relationship. People seemed to take us very, very personally. I recall a hellish car ride with a friend of his who began to castigate me in the backseat, in tones so low that only I could hear him. He told me, You wanted a rich boyfriend. You chased and snuck into parties . He spared me the insult of gold digger, but he drew, with other words, the outline for it. Most offended were the single older women, my husband’s classmates. They discussed me in the bathroom at parties when I was in the stall. What does he see in her? What do they talk about? They were concerned about me. They wielded their concern like a bludgeon. They paraphrased without meaning to my favorite line from Nabokov’s Lolita : “You took advantage of my disadvantage,” suspecting me of some weakness he in turn mined. It did not disturb them, so much, to consider that all relationships were trades. The trouble was the trade I’d made struck them as a bad one.

The truth is you can fall in love with someone for all sorts of reasons, tiny transactions, pluses and minuses, whose sum is your affection for each other, your loyalty, your commitment. The way someone picks up your favorite croissant. Their habit of listening hard. What they do for you on your anniversary and your reciprocal gesture, wrapped thoughtfully. The serenity they inspire; your happiness, enlivening it. When someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them.

When I think of same-age, same-stage relationships, what I tend to picture is a woman who is doing too much for too little.

I’m 27 now, and most women my age have “partners.” These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if you’re equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking .

There is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesn’t know how to pack his own suitcase. She “likes to do it for him.” A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably don’t speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.

I find a post on Reddit where five thousand men try to define “ a woman’s touch .” They describe raised flower beds, blankets, photographs of their loved ones, not hers, sprouting on the mantel overnight. Candles, coasters, side tables. Someone remembering to take lint out of the dryer. To give compliments. I wonder what these women are getting back. I imagine them like Cinderella’s mice, scurrying around, their sole proof of life their contributions to a more central character. On occasion I meet a nice couple, who grew up together. They know each other with a fraternalism tender and alien to me.  But I think of all my friends who failed at this, were failed at this, and I think, No, absolutely not, too risky . Riskier, sometimes, than an age gap.

My younger brother is in his early 20s, handsome, successful, but in many ways: an endearing disaster. By his age, I had long since wisened up. He leaves his clothes in the dryer, takes out a single shirt, steams it for three minutes. His towel on the floor, for someone else to retrieve. His lovely, same-age girlfriend is aching to fix these tendencies, among others. She is capable beyond words. Statistically, they will not end up together. He moved into his first place recently, and she, the girlfriend, supplied him with a long, detailed list of things he needed for his apartment: sheets, towels, hangers, a colander, which made me laugh. She picked out his couch. I will bet you anything she will fix his laundry habits, and if so, they will impress the next girl. If they break up, she will never see that couch again, and he will forget its story. I tell her when I visit because I like her, though I get in trouble for it: You shouldn’t do so much for him, not for someone who is not stuck with you, not for any boy, not even for my wonderful brother.

Too much work had left my husband, by 30, jaded and uninspired. He’d burned out — but I could reenchant things. I danced at restaurants when they played a song I liked. I turned grocery shopping into an adventure, pleased by what I provided. Ambitious, hungry, he needed someone smart enough to sustain his interest, but flexible enough in her habits to build them around his hours. I could. I do: read myself occupied, make myself free, materialize beside him when he calls for me. In exchange, I left a lucrative but deadening spreadsheet job to write full-time, without having to live like a writer. I learned to cook, a little, and decorate, somewhat poorly. Mostly I get to read, to walk central London and Miami and think in delicious circles, to work hard, when necessary, for free, and write stories for far less than minimum wage when I tally all the hours I take to write them.

At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self, couldn’t imagine doing it in tandem with someone, two raw lumps of clay trying to mold one another and only sullying things worse. I’d go on dates with boys my age and leave with the impression they were telling me not about themselves but some person who didn’t exist yet and on whom I was meant to bet regardless. My husband struck me instead as so finished, formed. Analyzable for compatibility. He bore the traces of other women who’d improved him, small but crucial basics like use a coaster ; listen, don’t give advice. Young egos mellow into patience and generosity.

My husband isn’t my partner. He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did. Adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations. But his logistics ran so smoothly that he simply tacked mine on. I moved into his flat, onto his level, drag and drop, cleaner thrice a week, bills automatic. By opting out of partnership in my 20s, I granted myself a kind of compartmentalized, liberating selfishness none of my friends have managed. I am the work in progress, the party we worry about, a surprising dominance. When I searched for my first job, at 21, we combined our efforts, for my sake. He had wisdom to impart, contacts with whom he arranged coffees; we spent an afternoon, laughing, drawing up earnest lists of my pros and cons (highly sociable; sloppy math). Meanwhile, I took calls from a dear friend who had a boyfriend her age. Both savagely ambitious, hyperclose and entwined in each other’s projects. If each was a start-up , the other was the first hire, an intense dedication I found riveting. Yet every time she called me, I hung up with the distinct feeling that too much was happening at the same time: both learning to please a boss; to forge more adult relationships with their families; to pay bills and taxes and hang prints on the wall. Neither had any advice to give and certainly no stability. I pictured a three-legged race, two people tied together and hobbling toward every milestone.

I don’t fool myself. My marriage has its cons. There are only so many times one can say “thank you” — for splendid scenes, fine dinners — before the phrase starts to grate. I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that shapes the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him. He doesn’t have to hold it over my head. It just floats there, complicating usual shorthands to explain dissatisfaction like, You aren’t being supportive lately . It’s a Frenchism to say, “Take a decision,” and from time to time I joke: from whom? Occasionally I find myself in some fabulous country at some fabulous party and I think what a long way I have traveled, like a lucky cloud, and it is frightening to think of oneself as vapor.

Mostly I worry that if he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive, but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials, the way Renaissance painters hid in their paintings their faces among a crowd. I wonder if when they looked at their paintings, they saw their own faces first. But this is the wrong question, if our aim is happiness. Like the other question on which I’m expected to dwell: Who is in charge, the man who drives or the woman who put him there so she could enjoy herself? I sit in the car, in the painting it would have taken me a corporate job and 20 years to paint alone, and my concern over who has the upper hand becomes as distant as the horizon, the one he and I made so wide for me.

To be a woman is to race against the clock, in several ways, until there is nothing left to be but run ragged.

We try to put it off, but it will hit us at some point: that we live in a world in which our power has a different shape from that of men, a different distribution of advantage, ours a funnel and theirs an expanding cone. A woman at 20 rarely has to earn her welcome; a boy at 20 will be turned away at the door. A woman at 30 may find a younger woman has taken her seat; a man at 30 will have invited her. I think back to the women in the bathroom, my husband’s classmates. What was my relationship if not an inconvertible sign of this unfairness? What was I doing, in marrying older, if not endorsing it? I had taken advantage of their disadvantage. I had preempted my own. After all, principled women are meant to defy unfairness, to show some integrity or denial, not plan around it, like I had. These were driven women, successful, beautiful, capable. I merely possessed the one thing they had already lost. In getting ahead of the problem, had I pushed them down? If I hadn’t, would it really have made any difference?

When we decided we wanted to be equal to men, we got on men’s time. We worked when they worked, retired when they retired, had to squeeze pregnancy, children, menopause somewhere impossibly in the margins. I have a friend, in her late 20s, who wears a mood ring; these days it is often red, flickering in the air like a siren when she explains her predicament to me. She has raised her fair share of same-age boyfriends. She has put her head down, worked laboriously alongside them, too. At last she is beginning to reap the dividends, earning the income to finally enjoy herself. But it is now, exactly at this precipice of freedom and pleasure, that a time problem comes closing in. If she would like to have children before 35, she must begin her next profession, motherhood, rather soon, compromising inevitably her original one. The same-age partner, equally unsettled in his career, will take only the minimum time off, she guesses, or else pay some cost which will come back to bite her. Everything unfailingly does. If she freezes her eggs to buy time, the decision and its logistics will burden her singly — and perhaps it will not work. Overlay the years a woman is supposed to establish herself in her career and her fertility window and it’s a perfect, miserable circle. By midlife women report feeling invisible, undervalued; it is a telling cliché, that after all this, some husbands leave for a younger girl. So when is her time, exactly? For leisure, ease, liberty? There is no brand of feminism which achieved female rest. If women’s problem in the ’50s was a paralyzing malaise, now it is that they are too active, too capable, never permitted a vacation they didn’t plan. It’s not that our efforts to have it all were fated for failure. They simply weren’t imaginative enough.

For me, my relationship, with its age gap, has alleviated this rush , permitted me to massage the clock, shift its hands to my benefit. Very soon, we will decide to have children, and I don’t panic over last gasps of fun, because I took so many big breaths of it early: on the holidays of someone who had worked a decade longer than I had, in beautiful places when I was young and beautiful, a symmetry I recommend. If such a thing as maternal energy exists, mine was never depleted. I spent the last nearly seven years supported more than I support and I am still not as old as my husband was when he met me. When I have a child, I will expect more help from him than I would if he were younger, for what does professional tenure earn you if not the right to set more limits on work demands — or, if not, to secure some child care, at the very least? When I return to work after maternal upheaval, he will aid me, as he’s always had, with his ability to put himself aside, as younger men are rarely able.

Above all, the great gift of my marriage is flexibility. A chance to live my life before I become responsible for someone else’s — a lover’s, or a child’s. A chance to write. A chance at a destiny that doesn’t adhere rigidly to the routines and timelines of men, but lends itself instead to roomy accommodation, to the very fluidity Betty Friedan dreamed of in 1963 in The Feminine Mystique , but we’ve largely forgotten: some career or style of life that “permits year-to-year variation — a full-time paid job in one community, part-time in another, exercise of the professional skill in serious volunteer work or a period of study during pregnancy or early motherhood when a full-time job is not feasible.” Some things are just not feasible in our current structures. Somewhere along the way we stopped admitting that, and all we did was make women feel like personal failures. I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing. Perhaps men long for this in their own way. Actually I am sure of that.

Once, when we first fell in love, I put my head in his lap on a long car ride; I remember his hands on my face, the sun, the twisting turns of a mountain road, surprising and not surprising us like our romance, and his voice, telling me that it was his biggest regret that I was so young, he feared he would lose me. Last week, we looked back at old photos and agreed we’d given each other our respective best years. Sometimes real equality is not so obvious, sometimes it takes turns, sometimes it takes almost a decade to reveal itself.

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How to reconnect with former colleagues: 5 sample emails.

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There are many good reasons to keep in touch with former colleagues.

There are many good reasons to keep in touch with former colleagues. From a professional standpoint, your network is the entry point to the hidden job market . If you’re looking to change careers, colleagues who know you in one field may be more willing to trust you (and take a chance on you) in your new target field. Even if you’re not looking for a new job or career pivot, keeping up with colleagues gives you market intelligence on what is happening in different companies, industries and geographies – and keeps your expertise and perspective from becoming too insular. From a personal standpoint, friendships keep you healthy .

Sure, it takes effort to connect with former colleagues whom you don’t see on a regular basis, but it doesn’t have to be hard or take much time. With the various social media platforms, you have different options to try if you don’t have their current email. LinkedIn is the social media of choice for professional interactions, so if you’re mainly trying to reconnect for professional reasons, start with LinkedIn or their direct email, before using the more personal platforms like Facebook. Don’t forget to update your own LinkedIn profile so that connections who need to jog their memory about who you are see the latest information!

The most important protocol to follow is to focus on building a genuine relationship first, well before you ask for anything. Don’t be that annoying networker who only gets in touch when they need something. Make your initial outreach about catching up in general, with no mention of your job search or asking for help . Here are five ways to get started with sample emails:

5 Ways To Reconnect With Former Colleagues

talking with former colleagues

1. Use LinkedIn Invites And Notifications To Initiate Conversations

If you’re not already connected via LinkedIn, send an invite with a personalized note. If you are connected, see if your former colleague has recently posted something that you can mention as a prompt for getting back in touch. For example, if they mention a new job, you can message them congratulations:

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Hi Jane, I saw your post about joining Company Spectacular — congrats on the new role! Can you believe it’s been five years since we worked at Company Previous? I’m currently training for a 10k [or catching up on Yellowstone or INSERT something fun and not job-related]. How are you?

A personalized LinkedIn invite can be similar:

Hi Jane, I can’t believe we’re not already connected since working together at Company Previous. Let’s connect here and catch up soon.

2. Bring Up Your Shared Affinity When Reconnecting After A Long Time

If it’s been many years and you’re not sure your former colleague will remember you, you can still start with LinkedIn. Your profile may be enough to remind your former colleague how you know each other. If you reach out by email, make sure you lead with your shared affinity so that your former colleague reads the email even if they don’t recognize your address. Put your LinkedIn profile URL in your email signature so that they can easily get more information about you. You can even use your shared affinity as the prompt for reconnecting. For example:

SUBJECT: Catching up after Company Previous

Hi Jane, we worked together at Company Previous – I was there from 2002-2005. I recently saw this article about them (got their annual report, saw their new ad campaign or INSERT some news) and thought about our time together. It’s been too long. I’m currently [INSERT something fun and not job-related]. How are you?

3. Reconnect During A Holiday Or Festive Time

If you’d rather not think of a prompt, let the calendar do the work for you. The winter holidays and new year are the most obvious holidays. But asking about summer vacation plans or checking in during the kick-off to the school year for colleagues with kids can also work.

SUBJECT: Happy Spring from your cubicle neighbor at Company Previous

Hi Jane, I have included my contacts in my spring cleaning this year, since I haven’t been great about staying in touch. Can you believe it’s been five years since we worked at Company Previous? I’m currently [INSERT something fun and not job-related]. How are you?

4. Build Off Your Other Networking Outreach

As you reach out to more colleagues, it will make subsequent reconnections easier because you can build off your other networking. Mention others you know in common as the prompt for reconnecting.

SUBJECT: Company Previous mini-reunion

Hi Jane, I recently reconnected with Jim and Kate, and it occurred to me that you and I haven’t caught up in a while. Are you still in touch with anyone from Company Previous? It feels like a mini-reunion! I’m currently [INSERT something fun and not job-related]. How are you?

5. Say Hello For No Reason At All

If the above four ideas still seem like too much work, you don’t need any prompt at all. I include the prompts because “What reason do I give for getting back in touch?” is one of the most frequent networking questions I hear. You don’t really need a reason because this initial reconnection is just about restarting the relationship.

SUBJECT: Hello from Company Previous

Hi Jane, we worked together at Company Previous — I was there from 2002-2005. It occurred to me that we haven’t caught up in a while. I’m currently [INSERT something fun and not job-related]. How are you?

Make It Easy For The Other Person

All of the emails above are short (easy to read), friendly (easy to digest), and include all the relevant information (easy to respond). Include how you know each other so that the person doesn’t have to think too hard about how they know you. Include your LinkedIn profile URL so they can easily get more information as needed. Keep your message concise to encourage a back-and-forth and build from there.

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Guest Essay

Something Other Than Originalism Explains This Supreme Court

By Marc O. De Girolami

Mr. De Girolami is a law professor at the Catholic University of America. He is writing a book about traditionalism in constitutional law.

It is a sign of the polarizing nature of the current Supreme Court that even knowledgeable critics of its opinions make diametrically opposed arguments.

This week, for example, the former Supreme Court justice Stephen Breyer, in a new book, “Reading the Constitution,” chides the current court’s approach to the law, which he says fixates on the text of the Constitution and attaches too much significance to the meanings of its provisions at the time they were ratified. If only, Justice Breyer urges, justices would soften this “originalist” approach and take into account how “our values as a society evolve over time” — including by respecting the “longstanding practice” of the court and other organs of government.

Justice Breyer’s criticism follows on the heels of that of another judge, Kevin Newsom of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit. In a talk last month at Harvard Law School, Judge Newsom made the opposite argument: He criticized the Supreme Court, when considering matters such as handgun regulation and abortion rights, for being insufficiently faithful to originalism and overly attuned to social practices that occurred or continued after constitutional ratification. Such traditions, he warned, “have no demonstrable connection to the original, written text.”

The current Supreme Court is the object of considerable controversy and confusion. To understand its decisions properly, especially over the past three or four years, the key is to realize that each critic is half right. Justice Breyer is right that the Constitution should be interpreted, in part, in light of practices that persisted after its ratification, but wrong to think that the current court is not doing this. Judge Newsom is right that the current court is doing this, but wrong to think that it should not be.

This court is conventionally thought of as originalist. But it is often more usefully and accurately understood as what I call “ traditionalist ”: In areas of jurisprudence as various as abortion, gun rights, free speech, religious freedom and the right to confront witnesses at trial, the court — led in this respect by Justices Samuel Alito, Clarence Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh — has indicated time and again that the meaning and law of the Constitution is often to be determined as much by enduring political and cultural practices as by the original meaning of its words.

The fact that the Supreme Court seems to be finding its way toward an open embrace of traditionalism should be broadly celebrated. To be sure, the court’s traditionalism has played a role in many decisions that have been popular with political conservatives, such as the Dobbs ruling in 2022 that overturned Roe v. Wade. But it is not a crudely partisan method. Justice Sonia Sotomayor, an Obama nominee, has used it in a decision for the court — and Justice Amy Coney Barrett, a Trump nominee, has expressed some skepticism about it.

Traditionalism may not be partisan, but it is political: It reflects a belief — one with no obvious party valence — that our government should strive to understand and foster the common life of most Americans. The Supreme Court has relied on traditionalism to good effect for many decades, though the justices have seldom explicitly acknowledged this. Traditionalism should be favored by all who believe that our legal system ought to be democratically responsive, concretely minded (rather than abstractly minded) and respectful of the shared values of Americans over time and throughout the country.

To get a better sense of what traditionalism is, it is useful to compare it with the two dominant approaches to constitutional interpretation in adjudication: originalism and what is often called “living constitutionalism.”

Sometimes the Constitution’s words are not clear and their application to a particular issue is also unclear. Consider the line “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” from the First Amendment. Judges face choices about how to determine what exactly Congress (and today, by extension, the states) is being forbidden from doing.

One option is to discern the meaning that those words would have had at the time of their adoption, using ratification-era dictionaries, contemporary documents by learned authorities, databases of usage, other linguistic and legal sources and perhaps activities closely confined to the founding period. That is originalism.

Another option is to understand those words by recourse to a high ideal or abstraction. For example, a judge might take that passage of the First Amendment to reflect a principle of separation of church and state and then apply that principle in light of the judge’s moral views or perceptions of contemporary moral standards in the case at hand. That is living constitutionalism.

Traditionalism offers a third option. Here, one would look at specific political and cultural practices — the activities of the organs of government and of individuals and groups across the country over long periods of time — to help determine constitutional meaning and law. For example, one might observe that the practice of legislative prayer (prayer that opens legislative assemblies) was pervasive long before and at the time of the First Amendment’s ratification, and that it continued for centuries afterward. For that reason, one would conclude that legislative prayer is unlikely to violate the prohibition against an “establishment of religion.”

The intuition is straightforward: It would be odd to think that the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment prohibits legislative prayer if legislative prayer was widely practiced before, during and for centuries after ratification. Were we supposed to put a stop to a practice many showed no sign of wanting to stop, and indeed, that a great many people were eager to continue and did continue? Sometimes, yes, moral reflection or changed circumstance prompts a re-evaluation of our practices. But in general, we do what we mean and we mean what we do, and constitutional law takes its shape accordingly.

In its 2021-2022 term, traditionalism was the Supreme Court’s preferred method in a number of high-profile cases. Consider New York State Rifle and Pistol Association v. Bruen, a 2022 decision that concerned a New York law that strictly limited the carrying of guns outside the home. Justice Thomas, writing for the majority, held that New York’s requirement to demonstrate a “special need for self-protection” before the state would issue a handgun permit for self-defense outside the home violated the Second Amendment.

The “historical tradition” of handgun regulation, Justice Thomas argued, established the limits of the right to keep and bear arms. He noted that the practices of regulation “from before, during and even after the founding” of the United States indicated “no such tradition in the historical materials,” which suggested that a long, unbroken line of tradition, stretching from medieval England to early 20th century America, was at odds with New York’s law. The opinion granted the existence of scattered 19th-century regulations akin to New York’s, but argued that these were dwarfed by the dearth of analogous traditions of gun regulation over time and across state and local communities.

One can see a similar traditionalist approach in Dobbs, where Justice Alito, writing for the court, examined the government practices of abortion regulation before, during and after ratification of the 14th Amendment, concluding that there is no constitutional right to abortion in part because there is “an unbroken tradition of prohibiting abortion” that persisted “from the earliest days of the common law until 1973.”

Likewise, in Kennedy v. Bremerton School District, the Supreme Court decided in 2022 that a public school football coach who prayed on the field after games was not in violation of the Establishment Clause by holding, in an opinion by Justice Neil Gorsuch, that this was not analogous to prayer practices long considered Establishment Clause violations. And in the unanimously decided case Houston Community College System v. Wilson, the court in 2022 held that “long settled and established practice” determined that elected bodies do not violate their members’ freedom of speech when they censure one of their members.

For some critics, the invocation of “tradition” sets off alarm bells. After all, our country looks very different today, demographically and otherwise, than it did hundreds of years ago, when political power was held by relatively few and denied to others for illegitimate reasons. These critics ask how well traditionalism deals with the contemporary realities of American democracy.

The answer to this legitimate question is: Compared to what? Consider again originalism and living constitutionalism. These approaches, different as they are from each other, are both suited to elite actors working at the nerve centers of legal and political power. Both depend on the preferences and findings of the legal professional class. Originalism privileges the centuries-old writings of illustrious figures of the founding or Reconstruction era as determined by today’s most brilliant legal historians and theorists. Living constitutionalism privileges the high ideals of today’s most prominent academics and judges.

Traditionalism, by contrast, looks to the ordinary practices of the American people across time and throughout the country. In democracies, people obey the law because they believe it is legitimate, and the law acquires legitimacy when the people believe they have had a hand, direct or indirect, in shaping it. True, the practices of “the people” may be repudiated or upended — no political tradition is perfect — but while they endure, their origin in popular sovereignty is a presumptive reason to preserve them.

Tradition, in the law and elsewhere, illuminates a basic fact of human life: We admire and want to unite ourselves with ways of being and of doing that have endured for centuries before we were born and that we hope will endure long after we are gone. At its core, this is what constitutional traditionalism is about: a desire for excellence, understood as human achievement over many generations and in many areas of life, that serves the common good of our society.

Not all traditions are worthy of preservation. Some are rightly jettisoned as the illegitimate vestiges of days gone by. But many, and perhaps most, deserve our solicitude and need a concerted defense.

Traditions can be fragile things. To the extent that a revitalized practice of constitutional interpretation is possible, it will depend on determining the content of the Constitution with an eye to their sustenance and restoration.

Marc O. De Girolami ( @MarcODeGirolami ) is a law professor at the Catholic University of America, where he is a co-director of the Center for Law and the Human Person.

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