Mr Salles Teaches English
How Easy is a Grade 9 Essay?
(using an inspector calls).
My book cover designer is killing me! I have 5 revision guides, stacked up and ready to publish - they’re just waiting on a cover.
The good news for you is that I get to bring you a grade 9 essay before it is published.
Normally, the examiner comments and my comments follow after the essay. But, free subscribers need to know what makes a grade 9, before they decide whether to upgrade.
Examiner Comments
The argument is very well structured
It is always conceptualised around Priestley’s ideas
The AO2 analysis of language is very perceptive
They deal with complex ideas
The answer considers what the play is like in performance, not just on the page
The student shows that characters are constructs
And explore this with STAGE DIRECTIONS, explaining how their behaviour affects how we understand them
My Comments
Explanations 32
Patriarchal 0
Thesis Statement Yes
Conclusion Yes
This student is just better at English literature. They know what to put into an Inspector Calls essay: capitalism, socialism , what things represent , and what acts as a symbol . These last two are relevant to every essay on every book, play, poem you ever study.
This means the student is able to gain the same marks with far fewer words and fewer explanations. They’ve been taught better, they’ve been shown what top grade essays look like.
Are they more intelligent? Almost certainly not. My way of measuring this is word count. This student wrote ‘only’ 741 words. I rewrote it at 557 words. So, a 25% reduction.
The student of response 25 wrote 1197 words which I reduced to 881. So, a 26% reduction. That student was probably smarter – they could think and write faster, which would normally make them less precise. They have less time to think about their sentences. But this led to only a 1% increase in unnecessary word choice.
Pay attention to this because it means something valuable. You don’t need to be extra smart to get grade 9.
You just need to pay attention to what makes a grade 9 essay.
What other ingredients did this response reveal? Methods. How many times have you read the examiner’s comment banging on about needing to write about more methods? Loads. Well, this is how to do it.
There’s no mention of the word society which, for a grade 9 essay, is simply astonishing. However, when you write about class, socialism and capitalism you are always writing about society. The students uses those three words often.
Now, go back and look at the references to the text. There’s virtually nothing from after the moment Sheila finds out about Gerald’s affair with Eva!
This student has got away with it. They should not be able to achieve Level 6 AO1 task for this – they haven’t completed the full task, as they haven’t looked at the full range of Sheila’s transformation.
They got away with it because of all the good stuff they crammed in and because, as time was very likely running out, they quickly smashed out a conclusion. That’s why it is so short compared to the brilliant thesis statement.
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Features of Grade 8 and 9 (but not Full Marks)
What does it all mean?
Things have really ramped up for grade 9. Suddenly we have more quotes, from 9 to 12.
But a massive difference is in the number of explanations, 32 compared to 21.
How many words per explanation got a grade 7? 31.
How many words per explanation got a grade 9? 27.
So, grade 9 writers are a bit better at writing. But, their main difference is writing speed. They write 851 words, compared to grade 7 students who write 643.
Whenever someone says to you, quality is more important than quantity, they just haven’t understood what quality means.
Quality means quantity.
In particular it means the quantity of:
Quotes Explanations Uses of context words: society, capitalism, socialism, patriarchal, 1945 … Words which show the characters are constructs. So Priestley: creates, makes, uses constructs, represents, symbolises, teaches etc
Points make prizes! Quantity makes quality.
The Essay on Sheila (The most likely question in any year)
Sheila Birling’s character undergoes the greatest transformation in the play. Priestley USES her to present his hope for the future. She REPRESENTS the younger generation and Priestley’s socialist beliefs. Priestley highlights this when the Inspector tells her “ the young are more impressionable ” .
He FOCUSES on Sheila by opening the play at her engagement meal, and he presents her as immature and naïve . She speaks her first words “gaily and possessively” , STAGE DIRECTIONS which suggest an uneasy contradiction in her.
Gerald reinforces this with mock aggression in response to her , “go on, you just object!” This tension works as a SYMBOL of capitalism . The children of capitalist families act as though they sense something is wrong with the way they think, which leads to the discontent in their language. They try to hide this with a gloss of humour, which is why the STAGE DIRECTIONS use the word “mock” .
Sheila heightens the sense of tension when she probes her fiancé with “last summer, when you hardly came near me ”, delivered “half seriously, half playfully” . Their conversation unfolds with the same uneasy tone, building tension further.
Priestley also MAKES her interact with her mother in a childish and perhaps spoilt way, addressing her as “Mummy” . Sheila therefore REPRESENTS upper class women, but is also portrayed as a believable and relatable character.
Her interrogation follows Birling’s. She sympathises with Eva when she hears her father had sacked her, declaring “it’s a rotten shame” . She also defends the workers, exclaiming “they’re not cheap labour – they’re people” . This scene marks the beginning of her transformation from entitled, wealthy capitalist to supporter of social equality and socialism .
Her comments therefore become increasingly profound. She confesses to getting Eva sacked because she was jealous. Sheila reacts physically, beginning to cry when the Inspector points out this job was “the last steady job she had” . This reaction marks her out as different from her family.
She is angry at herself and projects this at Gerald, snapping at him. This is also SYMBOLIC , reminding us that capitalism is built on the exploitation of others . Here it is the search for someone else to blame, instead of accepting personal responsibility.
We realise that Sheila demanded Eva should be sacked out of vanity , because a dress suited her better than Sheila. Priestley USES this scene to demonstrate the callous cruelty of upper class thinking and behaviour. He will return to this with Sheila’s mother and her interaction with Eva. However, Sheila’s remorse appears real and she appears to break down. We feel sympathy for her because of this .
When Gerald tries to persuade her to hide his involvement with Eva from the Inspector she laughs “hysterically” and tells Gerald “he knows” . She has accepted that they must all share the blame for Eva’s death.
Gerald still wants to treat her as a child. He tells the Inspector that Sheila has “had a long and exciting day” to explain away her behaviour . But she stands up to him, rebuking him that she couldn’t possibly leave without hearing everything.
She has the air of someone wanting to find out the worst, or their fate. She is hysterical only in response to Gerald’s behaviour . He almost tries to distance himself from her by calling her “Miss Birling” .
In conclusion , Priestley USES this to REPRESENT the clash between capitalist and socialist perspectives.
Original 741 words
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27. So, grade 9 writers are a bit better at writing. But, their main difference is writing speed. They write 851 words, compared to grade 7 students who write 643. Whenever someone says to you, quality is more important than quantity, they just haven’t understood what quality means. Quality means quantity.