essay about romance novels

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Why You Should Be Reading Romance Novels

Valentine’s Day is, at its best, an excuse to do what you want. Go on a fancy date, spend all night having sex, buy a bunch of sale chocolate to eat alone in the bath. And though it’s hardly the only time of year to celebrate romance novels (I personally find romance better for lazy summer days), it’s our excuse for it, so here we are.

I don’t want to spend too much time on romance’s bad reputation, which is born of misogyny, snobbishness, bias against small paperbacks, misogyny, and a lack of appreciation for delightfully cheesy book covers. But if you’re thinking, Bad reputation is right, and fairly earned! , then please just keep reading. Because if that’s what you think, odds are you haven’t read any romance, at least not recently, and February 14 is my excuse to tell you how much you’re missing out on, and why you might consider a change of heart.

Sad and challenging books have their place in the world, but there is plenty of room on your bookshelves. Romance is written to be enjoyed. Romance is a genre overwhelmingly written by and for women, where women’s desires, experiences, and rich inner lives are given value, center stage. It is fun, smart, savvy, increasingly inclusive, and a guaranteed good time. (And I wrote you a guide of five books to get started with right here!)

To clarify: I’m not talking about love stories here, or romantic books. I’m not talking about erotica, either. I’m talking about the genre of romance, which you may associate with Fabio’s bared chest or Fifty Shades of Grey . It includes those. But it also includes worlds and worlds more. If you give it a chance, you might — sorry, it’s Valentine’s Day! — fall in love.

Most romance readers grew up reading romance. They grabbed a paperback off of mom’s shelf, or squirreled one away to a quiet corner of a library, and thus a lifelong habit was formed. The fact that for many readers this happens when they were 12 or 14 probably makes you think it was about the sex. It probably was, in part. Reading about sex when you’re a teenager is pretty exciting.

But beyond that, think about what you were reading when you were 14. An approximated, reconstructed ninth-grade syllabus: Catcher in the Rye , An Separate Peace , The Great Gatsby , Lord of the Flies , Romeo and Juliet . Boys, boys, boys, boys, a dead girl. Maybe you read outside of school, too. When I was 15 I read the entire Dune series. (No one had warned me, as I warn everyone, to stop after book three.) What I was missing out on, and maybe you were, too, was books about women and girls.

After growing up on Madeleine L’Engle or Louisa May Alcott and graduating into a high-school canon so dominated by men, imagine the relief and delight to read about women . And to read about such adult things — not adult as in sex, but adult concerns, like love and courtship and family strife. To see in those pages possible paths forward, worlds and happy endings to imagine yourself into.

That’s not a thing we stop needing when we grow up. But it can take deliberate effort to diversify our reading lists beyond straight white men. You might not be missing women from your shelves today. You might have, like many people I know, devoted yourself to reading more or only women (and authors of color), especially in the last few years. If we aren’t acquiring editors at a publishing house, we work to change this with our book-buying dollars and with our eyes.

Women have been historically excluded from the canon, and that carries on through to publishing today. Women’s voices and stories — as authors and characters — have been systematically devalued in literature. We see how a man’s thinly veiled autobiographical musings are hailed as revolutionary, but a woman’s are dismissed. How male authors write women who only serve their male characters’ journeys and are lauded for the bare minimum beyond that. How sex, in literary fiction, is rarely actually fun, and if it is then someone must pay the price.

Romance is full of women’s voices and women’s stories. There are male and nonbinary authors, too (and not all romances pair a man and a woman), but romance authorship may be the arena least dominated by straight men in the entire world. “But wait,” you, my straw man, might say. “Romance reduces women’s lives to love stories. That’s not empowering; that’s practically telling them to get back in the kitchen!” Straw man, I promise you, romance makes no such reductions. These books show women finding love, sure, but even the thinnest hypothetical opponent that I’ve conjured up to make my point wouldn’t object to that being a part of a person’s life, right? And while women in romance are falling in love, they’re also coming more fully into themselves, discovering strength and independence, or vulnerability and honesty, or the bravery to stand up to their parents or fight a war or be proud of who they are. And, almost more important than these women falling in love, is them being fallen in love with. For being strong, independent, vulnerable, honest, brave, smart, funny, and stubborn. Those are stories about women that I think are extremely worth reading.

I’m not going to try to convince you that you should read books about women. I’m just going to tell you that if that’s a thing you care about, read romance.

I didn’t start reading romance when I was 14. I was too busy digging into Frank Herbert’s back catalogue, and I don’t have a time machine to remedy that now. I started reading romance when I was in my early 30s, working at a website where romance was a major focus. Well, I figured, if I’m going to be editing people writing about romance, I should know what’s going on.

I started for work, but I kept going because it was 2016. It wasn’t November yet, and of course now, looking back, however bad that summer felt, after November was worse. But soon enough it was, of course, November, and then it was 2017, and I left that job, and the world kept finding new ways to be bad. And I wasn’t going to not read books, but there was so much I couldn’t handle or just didn’t want to in my time of escape from the manic news cycles of the world. I remember reading one book and needing to DM the author to find out if anything bad happened to the delicate dog who was traipsing through the pages.

So there were two problems: bad things happening in books and the anticipation that they might.

One of the best things about romance is tied up in one of the things it’s most derided for: predictability. Romance, like any other genre, has its genre conventions. That’s what generic means. For a romance to be a romance, two criteria must be met: The central plot must be a love (or lust, or like) story, which is resolved by the book’s end, and the ending must be happy. It can be “happily ever after” or “happily for now,” but it is happy. (Rule 2.1, then, is that while the main characters may suffer, they and their closest loved ones don’t die. 2.2: neither do any pets.) This is why not every love story is a romance, and it’s why romance is the perfect genre for 2019.

There is great power in a happy ending. For women, people of color, queer people — the stories we see, in the world and in fiction, very often promise suffering and despair. Lots of that suffering is real, though some of it is baked into narrative tropes .

The best thing about romance is knowing how it will end. Or rather, knowing where it will end up — with the main characters happily together. Because what you still don’t know is how they will get there. What obstacles will they face? How will they overcome them? What will they do or say? It’s the same pleasure we get from mysteries, Marvel movies, and rewatching movies we’ve already seen. Romance, with its prescribed endings, lets you enjoy the journey without worrying about the destination.

And those journeys, I discovered once I started reading romance, are extremely good. They’re full of banter and barely suppressed longing . They’re full of beautiful dresses and people sincerely working through their shit , full of fantasy and the emotional realities of trying to connect with another person . They’re full of millionaires and dukes and strippers with hearts of gold . And, yes, sometimes they are full of sex.

People love to demean romance as “smut,” as if the only thing worse than women writing stories about women is women writing stories about women having sex. But if you’re just looking for titillation you are going to be very disappointed with all the pages spent on things like plot and character development. Some romances end with a chaste kiss. Some demurely fade to black when a couple makes their way to the bedroom. Some are euphemistic. Some are explicit. And some are fun and hot! Because here’s one thing that hasn’t really changed since we were 14: Reading about sex is fun. Or it can be, when the sex itself is fun. Literary fiction has plenty of sex, but it’s rarely about the characters’ pleasure. Literary sex tends to be sad or gross, often enough presaging a character’s tragedy, as if she’s a promiscuous teen in a horror movie. In romance, people get to have sex, and it’s good.

Let us also not forget that in 2019 it is still, somehow, politically daring to say that good sex — for pleasure, love, or connection — should be a part of a woman’s life if she wants it to be. I will never forget that in the first romance I read, the heroine had three orgasms — two, I believe, by cunnilingus — before her partner even got his dick out. As good as the sex may be, it’s not there (only) to titillate. These are stories about love, after all. And sex can be an important part of that. In books and in life, sex is part of a story. It advances plot, it reveals character.

Books don’t need to be sad or challenging to be worthwhile. Sometimes you need to replenish your stores of good feelings, to remind yourself that stories can end happily, that people can fall in love, that a guy can want to get you off three times before he takes off his own pants.

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Why I Finally Learned to Love Romance Novels

After two difficult years, one romance-leery writer reveals how she unexpectedly dealt with the hardships of the pandemic by going all in on modern love stories.

Confession: I’m not exactly digging the state of the world. Obviously, this doesn’t make me unique — in the last two years, we’ve had to deal with a pandemic, political strife, civil unrest, and even a pending war. To put it mildly, we’re all a little stressed. But rather than bake bread about it, I’ve been coping by reading. A lot. But it wasn’t until recently that I began noticing an emerging trend. As it turns out, I really love women’s literature.

No wonder it took me so long to dig in. Thanks to a strong helping of internalized misogyny and a film-school education that gave me more tools to discuss French New Wave than the works of Paul Rudd, I assumed that I was simply too good for this particular genre. Even my initial dip into the romance-novel pool didn’t come from a place of open-hearted exploration but rather a “this will be a fun way to turn my brain off for a bit.” It’s the same mentality I also apply to movies on airplanes, locations that cater to Instagram aesthetics, and fluffy desserts.

But actually cracking the sherbet-colored book spines tells a different story. While my social skills atrophied and life gained the kind of emotional cobwebs I’m still trying to clear, these books allowed me to travel to places that were off-limits ( People We Meet on Vacation , The Layover ), get embroiled in life and love situations I’d never find myself experiencing in real life ( The Heir Affair , Head Over Heels ), or just imagine seemingly normal interactions as something other than an incubator for disease ( Big Summer , The Party Crasher ). Any worries that romance, racial issues, and the complexities of human existence couldn’t be smartly and enjoyably chronicled disappeared mere pages into The Wedding Date , the first of Jasmine Guillory ’s interconnected series of novels about friends who — yup — fall in love. I began ordering books faster than I could read, and even cranked out a 200-page manuscript of my own because I simply couldn’t get enough.

Like me, Sabina Wex , a podcast producer from Toronto, Canada, never saw herself as a women’s-lit fan. As she recalls, she associated the idea with the likes of Fifty Shades of Grey and braced herself for drivel when her informal book club decided to read Red, White & Royal Blue , Casey McQuiston’s smash-hit novel about the blooming romance between the First Son of the United States and a British prince. But what she discovered was a gateway to a world she had previously written off.

“It’s not just people falling in love and being weird,” she laughs. “It’s a nuanced conversation about what it’s like to be a person in the world who also happens to be falling in love. It’s not the singular point of focus. It’s fun to talk about, but you don’t want a character who is one-dimensional in that way. And that’s why people are going crazy for them. … I think as I get older and I care less, I’m like, I don’t really care where the line is, because I’m enjoying it. So, it doesn’t matter the way books are marketed.”

For Emma Lord, the author of Tweet Cute , You Have a Match , and When You Get the Chance , the romantic element of storytelling was the gateway into her career, as she fell in love with the world of fan fiction as a teenager.

“I would say from 16 on, a lot of my plotlines were just focused on sort of the romantic things that get overlooked in a movie like Spider-Man . You’ve got two hours you need to work with. They do what they can, you get your romance, and you get your adventure, and then you walk away from it. You’re like, I want more! That was kind of the instigating factor.”

The good news: Anything that encourages people of any age to read and write will strengthen their ability as storytellers. Lord’s books, largely featuring teenagers, are nuanced explorations into identity, pop culture, and social media as much as they are fun romances worth reading in a single sitting. What’s more, they’re money-making driving forces in the publishing industry. So, why is the genre still so publicly poked at?

.css-1n3l8cl{font-family:GTWalsheim,GTWalsheim-weightbold-roboto,GTWalsheim-weightbold-local,Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:1.625rem;font-weight:bold;line-height:1.2;margin:0rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-1n3l8cl{font-size:1.75rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-1n3l8cl{font-size:1.875rem;line-height:1.2;}}.css-1n3l8cl b,.css-1n3l8cl strong{font-family:inherit;font-weight:bold;}.css-1n3l8cl em,.css-1n3l8cl i{font-style:italic;font-family:inherit;} We’re living in a different world now. I would say people are much more public about [loving romance novels]. But I do think we’ve got a really long way to go before it becomes something that’s just normalized.

“Both fan fiction and romance as a genre are very female-dominated spaces, and it is incredibly easy to dismiss those interests as trivial and make people feel silly about them simply because it’s girls that are interested in them,” Lord notes. “I feel like we have a lot of economic power when it comes to these stories that are being told, but we don’t have a lot of cultural power in the ways that they’re discussed outside of our little bubbles. … I know for me in high school, I was so deeply terrified and ashamed that somebody would find out that I was writing fan fiction, that I was reading it, or that I was interested in anything romantic. We’re living in a different world now. I would say people are much more public about it. But I do think we’ve got a really long way to go before it becomes something that’s just normalized.”

It’s a position that Wex agrees with. Why make fun of something that gets people to enjoy reading and language? We already have enough issues without adding book shame to the list.

“To write off popular culture is to write off so much of what actually is happening in society,” Wex says. “I remember for a while when reading was seen as weird and like something only annoying people did. I think the pandemic fueled a lot of people’s boredom, and they’re like, there’s only so much TV you can watch. There’s only so many puzzles you can put together. But people want more, and these books are a great entry point for people who don’t like to read. How can you get mad at somebody for that? That’s amazing!”

It really is amazing. With society only just beginning to claw back toward normalcy, and real life constantly promising new forms of stress, I refuse to deny myself the pleasures of a world where the two characters are guaranteed to fall in love and develop positively as humans in the process. Yes, we still don’t live in a world where women’s lit is given equal footing to other subgenres in the literary world. But rest assured, it’ll happen. In the meanwhile, I have some reading to do.

Laura Studarus is a Los Angeles-based travel writer with bylines at Fast Company, BBC Travel, and Thrillist . Sometimes she can go several hours without a cup of tea. Follow her adventures on Twitter .

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I Highly Recommend Romance Novels If You’re Really Going Through It Right Now

By Jennifer Chen

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A friend gifted me Royal Holiday by Jasmine Guillory when it came out in late 2019, and when I finally picked it up in March 2020, I had no idea a heartwarming Christmas romance was about to change my life. The last time I had read a romance novel before this was in high school, when I inherited a stack of bodice-rippers from my older cousin. Holiday ’s charming pink and mint green cover looked different from the busty books I’d read years ago, though. I knew I couldn’t handle my typical harrowing fare—memoirs, psychological thrillers, and self-help—and wanted something fun and light to help me feel good. And I wasn’t the only one turning to rom-com novels during the dark early days of the pandemic: From January through May 2020, 16.2 million romance e-books and print books were sold, and sales continue to soar .

The same day I started reading Royal Holiday , I wrote about why calling COVID-19 the “Chinese Virus” and “Kung Flu” was deeply harmful to the Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) community. Social media trolls told me it wasn’t racist to use those terms. At that point, my four-year-old twins, my husband, and I had been in lockdown for five days. It felt like five months.

At night, I dove into Guillory’s novel. The charming romance, set in modern-day England and complete with freshly baked scones and leisurely strolls on the green grounds of a castle, was the perfect place to escape my overwhelming reality. Under stay-at-home orders in Los Angeles, I felt squeezed on all sides as a mother, a writer, and an Asian American. I was constantly caregiving —searching for activities to keep my kids entertained, cooking meals, and tending to a sick dog. My brain felt like Swiss cheese by my children’s bedtime. But when I got lost in the sweet love story between an American mom and a debonair British gentleman who works for the queen, I felt swept away from the chaos of my life.

Over the next few months, as the world continued to feel upside down, I went on a romance novel binge. I blew through all of Guillory’s books, then dove into Talia Hibbert and Helen Hoang . Reading these stories was my spot of sunshine amid the doom and gloom of the news . When I had trouble sleeping, my comfort reads lulled me into relaxation. And though I’m no longer feeling as emotionally drained as I did in 2020, I haven’t quit my habit.

Here’s exactly how romance novels helped my mental health through the first year of the pandemic—and why I continue to rely on them to bring me pleasure.

Reading happily-ever-afters brought me comfort.

According to Stop Asian Hate , a coalition of three AAPI social service organizations, 6,600 hate incidents were reported from March 2020 to March 2021. AAPI women and girls were more than twice as likely than men to report a verbal or physical assault. I read countless headlines about Asian seniors being beaten. My worst day was reading a local New York news story about an elderly Asian woman who was set on fire (her shirt was burned, but she managed to avoid serious injury). This woman reminded me of my grandmother who always walked to get groceries. I cried while writing at my desk.

At night, I eagerly looked forward to reading the romances I downloaded from the Los Angeles Public Library. Some I devoured in three nights. Others I turned to when anxiety woke me up at 4 a.m. There was safety in the routine of knowing that every story I read ended happily; I didn’t have to wonder if the people I read about were hurting.

Romance novels also helped me with anxiety, depression, and loneliness.

As the height of the pandemic wore on, I slipped into depression. At first, I dismissed my symptoms —irritability, hopelessness, and physical exhaustion—as caregiver burnout mixed with stress from writing about the rapid rise in anti-Asian sentiments . I tried melatonin and meditation to help me relax, but reading romance worked better and seemed to pause the constant anxiety loop in my brain. To be clear, romance novels are not a substitute for mental health treatment—it ultimately took a combination of medication and therapy to help me manage my depression and anxiety —but the stories I read did help me unwind at a time when I desperately needed it.

It turns out, there’s some science to support the mental boost I got from my fictional companions. A 2022 study in the American Journal of Emergency Medicine found that reading books was an effective coping strategy for emergency health care workers during the pandemic, reducing feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. I would never compare my situation to theirs, and, again, you can’t read your way out of a mental health condition, but it’s encouraging to know that books can, in fact, make you feel a bit better when life gets dark and overwhelming.

And romance novels may be particularly helpful when it comes to loneliness and isolation. In a 2013 study in the journal Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts , researchers talked to readers of specific book genres—domestic fiction, romance, science fiction/fantasy, and suspense/thriller—to understand how they might pick up on social and emotional nonverbal cues. Participants were asked to “decode emotions from black-and-white cropped images of people’s eyes” and the researchers found that romance readers “tended to perform better on picking up social cues” compared to readers of other genres.

Translation: Reading romantic novels might help make you feel more connected to other people, Katrina Fong, PhD , a researcher of social and personality psychology and the lead author of the study, tells SELF. And it’s not all that surprising, considering that romance, more than other genres, focuses so heavily on relationships. “Reading stories and connecting to the characters can help meet our personal psychological needs,” Dr. Fong explains. “It's possible that connecting to fictional characters can create a sense of closeness that staves off loneliness, especially if characters feel like real people to readers.”

Of course, this is just one study, and it didn’t specifically look at whether romance stories made readers feel less lonely or isolated. But it does suggest that the strong sense of connectedness I felt when I got to hang out with my romance-novel characters may have been the reason these books eased my loneliness during a very isolating time.

I felt emotionally validated by the characters.

Unlike the romance novels I read as a teen, my new reads had relatable characters. I saw myself in Chloe, the perpetual planner in Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert. As someone who married her BFF, I understood Alex and Poppy’s best-friends-to-lovers relationship in Emily Henry’s People We Meet on Vacation . And as I was grappling with caregiver burnout and depression, I felt understood by Helen Hoang’s The Heart Principle , a deeply vulnerable novel centered on Anna Sun, a young woman who is caring for her sick mother, and a guy she meets for a one-night stand.

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When Anna felt guilty for wanting alone time in the midst of tending to her sick mother, I felt seen. Anna’s dilemmas, exhaustion , parental guilt, and depression mirrored my life in 2020. To see Anna speak up for herself allowed me to feel validated in meeting my own needs. “You may think you’re the only person who's experiencing something, but being able to see somebody else in a similar situation, coping with the same feelings, can help you feel less alone,” Dr. Fong says.

I spoke with Hoang about her experience drafting The Heart Principle while going through depression (which she details in her author’s note at the end of the book), and it was affirming for her too. “Writing about my personal experience made me cry. A lot. There were certain scenes that were so difficult to relive that I spiraled into bouts of depression after writing them,” Hoang tells SELF. “But as challenging as that was, I think that type of confrontation and self-reflection was healing as well. It was catharsis and validation. Through the power of storytelling, I was able to not only explain but show everyone what it was like to walk in my shoes.” Perhaps I was picking up on that too—Hoang’s own healing through her character’s stories. I was seeing and being seen, and therefore felt less alone.

It’s been nearly three years since I first cracked open Royal Holiday late at night while my kids and husband slept (oh, wonderful silence!), and I’ve been reading and loving romance novels ever since. I credit Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston for getting me through my dog’s cancer diagnosis at the end of 2020, and dozens of other stories have helped me cope with hard times, restore my happiness, and express my needs. The joy in reading romance novels—however small it may seem—kept me anchored during a time when I felt like I was floating away in hopelessness, and now my to-be-read pile is more colorful and hopeful than it's ever been.

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SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.

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The Unexpectedly Subversive World of Romance Novels

Helen taylor on books that truly embrace female autonomy and desire.

In the 1980s, feminist academics (including myself) became intrigued by romance reading, partly because—paradoxically—the rise of the women’s movement in the 1970s was matched by significant growth in sales of romantic fiction. Aware of dismissive or hostile attitudes to the genre, Marxist, Freudian and feminist psychoanalytic critics debated issues around mass readership, cultural representations of desire and fantasy, and the conservative or transgressive nature of popular fiction. This was also the shoulder-pads decade of career feminism and the UK’s first woman Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher.

Throughout the 1980s, the British were captivated by the doomed marriage in 1981 of 33-year-old Prince [“Charming”] Charles and 20-year-old Lady [“Cinderella”] Diana, step-granddaughter of “Queen of Romance” Barbara Cartland. Diana was believed to read little except her step-grandmother’s novels which—as Cartland later admitted—did her little good. Cartland herself became a much-parodied figure coloring public perceptions of romantic fiction: as romance writer Veronica Henry suggested, “[romance] has suffered from the clichéd image of the eccentric novelist dressed in pink dictating her novels from the chaise longue.”

This decade produced a new batch of bestselling blockbusters which I have called “the sexy greedy saga,” by writers such as Susan Howatch, Jackie Collins, Shirley Conran, and Zoe Fairbairns. Strong, career-driven female characters have many a sexual relationship, but this no longer defines them—and a healthy bank balance makes up for lost love. The 1980s also saw re-imaginings or pastiches of romance by writers like Margaret Atwood ( Lady Oracle , 1976), Marilyn French ( The Bleeding Heart, 1980) and Jeanette Winterson et.al. (Passion Fruit: Romantic Fiction with a Twist, 1986), with lesbian characters and themes entering the scene. Critical studies of romance by American critics such as Tania Modleski and Janice A. Radway, and British academics Alison Light, Cora Kaplan and Jean Radford, signaled a new serious attention to the genre, and put the subject on the academic curriculum and thus national cultural agenda.

Critics have suggested the romance provides women with the opportunity for self-transcendence, to imagine being ravished, adored, protected and loved. It also enables women imaginatively to resist the constraints and excesses of a male-dominated society, and to find a cathartic space in which to explore fear and guilt, as well as revenge fantasies, around fathers and husbands. Radway’s Reading the Romance analyzed the romance reading habits and preferences of 42 women in a small US town, and confirmed what critics had argued about the complexities of romance reading.

As I too discovered when discussing Gone With the Wind with readers, women gregariously swap romance books, memories and ideas; exchange with each other on and offline favorite lines, narratives, and playful comments on characters and endings. Women can be fierce critics but also enjoy banter and erotic fantasies around the stories. Readers devour romances actively, discriminating between texts and having a shrewd sense of how to find stories and characters that appeal—often via recommendation from friends or family members.

Gone With the Wind enthusiasts were acutely aware of the shortcomings of the central characters, and were able both to understand and also criticize the flawed heroine Scarlett O’Hara, and they spent many a long hour debating with other girls and women whether Scarlett ever gets back bad boy Rhett Butler (and if not, why not). Romance, it seems, allows a declaration of independence (this is “my space, my time, my choice of books”).

The romance story is owned in a special way by women—in novelist Violet Winspear’s words, “a dream world for women only. An escape from the ironing board and the frying pan.”  Books of simple plots with single narrative strands and strong central characters can be picked up and put down between bouts of housework, breastfeeding, demands of a job or caring, chemotherapy and more. Three of my correspondents summarized the self-deprecatory or sardonic attitude to this kind of reading.

Amy W (aged 26) told me of her mum, “A large body of free escapism has lured her into Mills and Boon… something you can read and be absorbed in without engaging the brain.” Sixty-year-old Lucy M’s enthusiasm for romantic fiction “waxes and wanes. It’s never been a substitute for the real thing, and when a relationship is going well, I don’t need to retreat into a book.” Liisa [sic] O (36) wrote to me, “I read a lot of what I call trashy fiction, something that takes me out of the real world and into the dreamy world of happy endings…I read more women [Sophie Kinsella, Susan Lewis] as they tend to write the soppy romances I enjoy.”

Successful romantic novelist Katie Fforde told me she read romances obsessively while a young mother, when all she could talk about was nappies, and so her reading was “a place to be away from [my] own life.” Although she was “addicted” to these books, she claimed that the fantasy of a powerful man sweeping her up and taking her away from all this was a pleasurable fantasy. “I’d say most women know the difference between these and their real lives and I don’t think they think they’ll marry a millionaire. They know the difference between fantasy and reality.” For her, these novels were a “prop, like anything that’s easy to digest”—but she admitted that eventually “you get fed up with junk food.”

As I’ve already suggested, the “escape” element of reading is often equated with secretive indulgence in sweet things, the easy palate-pleasing power of forbidden (“junk”) rather than improving food. As one woman commented online, “Reading a general fiction book is like a five course meal with dessert afterward. A romance novel is like a tub of ice-cream eaten when no one’s looking.” The greedy pleasure, guilt, and slight self-disgust, women feel as binge-eaters and romance readers are a reminder of the ambivalent attitudes women have towards “naughty but nice” food and fiction.

Writers like Fforde get irritated by the “massive snobbery” of critics towards the genre, while one romance writer I contacted (whose website is scattered with references to her long- and short-listing for romantic novel awards) claimed defensively neither to write nor read romance, and instead to be a writer of “contemporary novels for women.” Most romantic novel writers use pseudonyms, perhaps as a way of distancing themselves from what they know to be a discredited literary form. Emily Murdoch (a pseudonym) told me she describes herself to women as a romance writer, while to men , a writer of historical fiction. Veronica Henry, on the other hand, claims that people are coming round to the notion that romance “boasts some of the best writing around,” and observes wryly “there will always be prejudice against anything that has commercial success. Who’s laughing, though?”

Along with erotica, the only fictional genre written by women for women, modern romance puts women at the center of the narrative, addresses our deepest desires for love, committed and sustained relationships, and also speaks strongly to us about our dreams and fantasies (two words that crop up repeatedly). In real life the Second Sex, in romance women are never just someone’s daughter, wife or mother. Instead they are the central drivers—and in Emily Murdoch’s words, “the prize.” Although a woman reads a romance alone, often in secret away from male family members and workmates, she joins a virtual communal realm of female readers who share experiences and thus understand one another’s responses.

On the AllAboutRomance.com website, a retired rabbi and marriage counsellor (sounding like Woman’s Own circa 1958) claims that women love romance because “it made them anticipate sex/caring/love in a fictional context” and neuroscientists and many agony aunts claim that the anticipation of sex is more erotic than sex itself. Cultural historian Alison Light wrote wittily, “The reader is left in a permanent state of foreplay, but I would guess that for many women this is the best heterosexual sex they ever get.”

Given the plethora of sexologists’ accounts of female disappointment with sexual partners (usually around an inability to achieve orgasm), and women’s increasing knowledge about their bodies and sexual potential, it’s not surprising readers are turned on by narratives of male characters who understand, and know how to excite and satisfy, women’s bodies. Benedict Nightingale suggested that the fantasies in these books were “actually complaints about men,” so here is a unique space in which a woman can voice such complaints to herself and others, and dream of the ideal partner who will—in the HEA—appreciate her for everything she is and cater to her every physical and emotional need.

And of all genres, romance (like romcom films) allows women a form of expression associated most closely with femininity—namely, crying. My own research on Gone With the Wind found many women referring to it as a “twelve-hankie” book and film, while the blurbs inside Jojo Moyes’ dystopian bestseller Me Before You praise it as “a real weepie,” with reviewers urging readers to devour it “like candy, between tears” and to “Make sure you have a box of tissues to hand!” This emphasis on great romances (often with gothic themes or subtexts) as “weepies” suggests they’re designed to arouse in women bittersweet emotions and internal conflicts, best indulged in private away from the real people in our lives.

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A Brief History of the Romance Novel

The modern romance novel, or mass-market romance novel as we know it today, has its origins in the romantic fiction of the 18th and 19th centuries. In novels such as Samuel Richardson’s Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded , the gothic romances of Ann Radcliffe, and the works of Jane Austen, readers were introduced to a new form of fiction, one that primarily focused on the lives and struggles of female protagonists. Although modern romance novels have expanded to include both authors and protagonists of different genders, races, sexualities, and abilities, historically, romance novels separate themselves from other genres by being primarily written by women, for women, and about women.

Early History of Romance Novels

Early romance novels featured heterosexual, white female protagonists either defying social conventions or overcoming personal struggles in pursuit of their own happiness. The heroines of these novels eventually found the loves of their lives and ended the novels secure and happy. Any development of a romantic relationship between two (or more) people—as well as an ending that was emotionally satisfying (usually happy but not always)—became the two core guidelines that romance novels follow to this day. The term "Happily Ever After" or HEA has become an industry standard regarding how a modern romance novel is supposed to end. 

Typically, romance novels reflect the desires of their audience. Jane Austen’s novels as well as the works of the Brontë sisters (especially Charlotte Brontë's  Jane Eyre )  introduced female characters who were ultimately rewarded with succesful marriages for expressing their individuality or their own desires. For female readers tied down by social norms and conventions, these romance novels became a form of escape and inspiration.

The Romance Novel Re-Energized

In the 20th century, novels such as Georgette Heyer’s Georgian-era romance, The Black Moth (published in 1921) and Margaret Mitchell’s Civil War era epic, Gone with the Wind , (published in 1936) revitalized public interest in romance novels, especially historical fiction. While Gone with the Wind is not technically classified as a romance novel, it had a longlasting influence on the genre with many novels copying its setting, themes, characterization, etc.. 

Daphne Du Maurier’s gothic romance, Rebecca   (1938) became a bestseller and invigorated the gothic romance subgenre . Gothic romance blends elements of the horror and romance genres to create thrilling, dramatic novels often featuring female protagonists battling through terrifying ordeals while struggling to be with their true loves. For more details, check out our post on the history of the gothic romance !

Authors such as Eleanor Alice Hibbert, who wrote historical fiction romance under the pseudonym Jean Plaidy , and gothic romance under the name Victoria Holt , became prolific from the 1950s on. Under different names, these women could explore and create new subgenres that would appeal to a larger audience.

Modern Changes in Modern Romance Novels

The 1950s and 1960s saw a shift towards narratives involving exotic locations and heroines who had careers outside of the expected roles of housewife or mother. Stewardesses and nurses were popular choices. In 1970, Gordon Merrick published the first bestselling  gay romance, The Lord Won't Mind ;   in 1983, Gaywyck , by Vincent Virga, became the first published gay gothic romance. Queer romance novels have always existed, but they were overshadowed by the success and demand of heteronormative narratives.

Published in 1972, Kathleen E. Woodiwiss ’s The Flame and the Flower introduced a new subgenre: the bodice ripper. To this point, mass-marketed romance novels featured very little sexually explicit material—Woodiwiss’s work changed that. Bodice rippers were historical fiction novels that usually featured beautiful, virginal, yet fierce and independent, women who would catch the attention of a handsome alpha male who would attempt to seduce and dominate her. Bodice rippers were notorious for featuring rape and abuse as part of the "love story" and eventually were replaced by narratives that did not promote assault or violence. Bodice rippers remain a relic of their time—however, the impact of these novels has been longlasting.

Woodiwiss was not the only author changing things up. Around this time, new female authors began publishing steamy, scandalous titles that often earned them the ire of critics as well as places on the bestsellers list. Jackie Collins, Danielle Steel, Nora Roberts, etc. pushed the envelope of what female authors could get away with and many of them are household names to this day. 

Harlequin , a division of HarperCollins, was the first publishing house to produce romance novels directly targeting female readers. Over the years, they became known for their distinctive eye-catching covers, which usually featured lovers caught in illicit embraces or otherwise dreamy images. Other publishers also began producing steamy cover art in an effort to boost sales, which it did. In the 1980s and 1990s, Italian-American model Fabio Lanzoni became a cover model for dozens of romance novels, and literally changed the face of the genre forever.

The Romance Novel in the 2000s

Within the last 20 years, there has been a steady shift towards novels that more accurately reflect the diversity of their readership. Books such as Helen Hoang’s The Kiss Quotient , Alyssa Cole’s An Extraordinary Union , and Vanessa North’s Roller Girl , have added much needed representation to the genre. This is not to discredit the work of pioneers such as Beverly Jenkins, who has been writing historical fiction romance featuring African American protagonists since her debut novel, Night Song , in 1994. Readers are simply demanding more representation and inclusivity within their romance novels, and many authors have taken up the calling. 

Modern romance novels may have adopted to a modern audience, but they continue to offer up the same feisty leads, torrid love affairs, and dreamy adventures that made them popular to begin with. So whether you’re a long-time romance novel veteran or a tentative newbie, enjoy this list of recommended titles that are sure to thrill your wildest fantasies! ( Summaries adapted from the publishers. )

Guides to Romance Novels

A Natural History of the Romance Novel

By Pamela Regis

The romance novel has the strange distinction of being the most popular but least respected of literary genres. While it remains consistently dominant in bookstores and on bestseller lists, it is also widely dismissed by the critical community. Scholars have alleged that romance novels help create subservient readers, who are largely women, by confining heroines to stories that ignore issues other than love and marriage.

Pamela Regis argues that such critical studies fail to take into consideration the personal choice of readers, offer any true definition of the romance novel, or discuss the nature and scope of the genre. Presenting the counterclaim that the romance novel does not enslave women but, on the contrary, is about celebrating freedom and joy, Regis offers a definition that provides critics with an expanded vocabulary for discussing a genre that is both classic and contemporary, sexy and entertaining.

Romance Fiction: A Guide to the Genre

By Kristin Ramsdell

Ramsdell's book responds to the tremendous growth in, and diversification of, romance fiction over the past decade, and to the demand for a thorough guide to the literature. After a fascinating overview of the genre as a whole (e.g. definition, history, reasons for appeal), the author discusses each of its major subgenres, listing and describing the titles in each and offering tips for readers' advisory and collection development.

Writing Romantic Fiction

By Barbara Samuel

Learn to create, compose, and share your vision for a passionate love story. Samuel explains examples of subgenre to help you understand the conventions, and then helps you create ideas and rounded characters, and find an audience for your work.

Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels

By Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan; illustrations by Joanne Renaud and Carol Main.

With insider advice for writing romances, fun games to discover your inner Viking warrior, and interviews with famous romance authors, Wendell and Tan show that while some romance novels are silly—maybe even tawdry—they can also be intelligent, savvy, feminist, and fabulous, just like their readers.

18th and 19th Century Romance

Pamela, or, Virtue Rewarded

By Samuel Richardson

One of the most spectacular successes of the flourishing literary marketplace of 18th century London,  Pamela  also marked a defining moment in the emergence of the modern novel. In the words of one contemporary, it divided the world "into two different Parties, Pamelists and Anti-pamelists," even eclipsing the sensational factional politics of the day.

Preached for its morality, and denounced as pornography in disguise, Pamela  vividly describes a young servant's long resistance to the attempts of her predatory master to seduce her. Written in the voice of its low-born heroine,  Pamela  is not only a work of pioneering psychological complexity, but also a compelling and provocative study of power and its abuse.

Pride and Prejudice

By Jane Austen

Of all Austen's books, Pride and Prejudice  has earned a special place in the hearts of the reading public as her best-loved and most intimately known novel. From its famous opening sentence, the story of the Bennet family and the novel's two protagonists, Elizabeth and Darcy, is told with a wit its author feared might prove "rather too light and bright, and sparkling," delighting its most familiar readers as thoroughly as it does those who encounter it for the first time.

Austen's artistry is apparent, too, in the delineation of the minor characters: the ill-matched Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, Charles Bingley and his sisters and, above all. the fatuous Mr. Collins, whose proposal to Elizabeth is one of the finest comic passages in English literature. While she entertains us, Jane Austen teaches us the wisdom of balance, the folly of 'pride' and 'prejudice'.

By Charlotte Brontë

An orphan girl who accepts employment as a governess finds herself involved in a family secret, and in love with her employer.

The Mysteries of Udolpho: A Romance

By Ann Radcliffe

If beautiful, orphaned Emily St. Aubert is to resist the predatory demands of her new guardian, the inscrutable Signor Montoni, she must quell the superstitious imaginings that pervade her mind. Within the sombre walls of Montoni's medieval castle, the boundaries of real and imagined terrors are blurred as Emily is drawn into a Gothic web of mystery and intrigue which threaten her not only with the loss of inheritance, but also identity.

Historical Fiction

Be sure to see even more historical fiction recommendations here ! 

The Black Moth

By Georgette Heyer

Seven years before our story opens, Carstares protected his brother by allowing himself to be disgraced for cheating at cards. His brother, suffering intense guilt, isn't aware that they played right into the hands of the Duke of Andover.  The disgraced Earl now roams the countryside until a confrontation with his rival thwarts the attempt to kidnap the lovely Diana. But now, the Duke is more determined than ever to have Diana for his own, and the two men will meet at swordpoint before the Earl's name can be cleared, and he can claim his fair lady.

A Rose in Winter

By Kathleen E. Woodiwiss

After foiling her irresponsible father’s attempts at marrying her off for money, Erienne Fleming finds herself literally on the auction block, about to be married off to the highest bidder. She hopes it will be Christopher Seton, the dashing young Yankee who secretly stole her heart—but when the extremely wealthy and secretive Lord Saxton, a man who was supposed to have died in the same fire that killed his family, buys her hand instead, Erienne fears the worst. Her new husband wears a terrifying mask and cloak to cover his scarred face and body, but Erienne vows to uphold her marriage vows upon realizing Lord Saxton's gentle true nature. Having lost Erienne before, Christopher Seton returns with renewed passion to win her back, but how will she be choose between her duty and her heart?

A Gentleman Never Keeps Score

By Cat Sebastian

Once beloved by London's fashionable elite, Hartley Sedgwick has become a recluse after a spate of salacious gossip exposed his most private secrets. Rarely venturing from the house whose inheritance is a daily reminder of his downfall, he’s captivated by the exceedingly handsome man who seeks to rob him.

Since retiring from the boxing ring, Sam Fox has made his pub, The Bell, into a haven for those in his Free Black community. But when his best friend Kate implores him to find and destroy a scandalously revealing painting of her, he agrees. Sam would do anything to protect those he loves, even if it means stealing from a wealthy gentleman. But when he encounters Hartley, he soon finds himself wanting to steal more than just a painting from the lovely, lonely man—he wants to steal his heart.

Between Here and Gone

By Barbara Ferrer

In 1959 Cuba, Natalia San Martín was nothing short of a princess… all that changed on the fateful New Year's Eve when Fidel Castro and his followers seized control of the country, with tragic consequences for not only the island, but also Natalia herself. Five years later, in 1960s New York, she's known as Natalie Martin. When the enigmatic Jack Roemer offers her a job writing the memoir of a starlet on the brink of self-destruction, Natalie sees not only opportunity, but also the unexpected echoes of a fairytale long forgotten… peeling back the layers of someone else's past forces Natalie to confront her own.

Paranormal Romantic Fiction

Bite Me, Your Grace

By Brooklyn Ann

Dr. John Polidori's tale The Vampyre burst upon the Regency scene along with Mary Shelley's Frankenstein , after that notorious weekend they spent writing ghost stories with Lord Byron. A vampire crazy broke out instantly in the haut ton. Now Ian Ashton, the Lord Vampire of London, has to attend tedious balls, linger in front of mirrors, and eat lots of garlic in an attempt to quell the gossip. If that weren't annoying enough, his neighbor, Angelica Winthrop has literary aspirations of her own and is sneaking into his house at night just to see what she can find. Hungry, tired, and fed up, Ian is in no mood to humor his beautiful intruder… 

Moon Called

By Patricia Briggs

Mercy Thompson's life is not exactly normal. Her next-door neighbor is a werewolf. Her former boss is a gremlin. And she's fixing a VW bus for a vampire. But then, Mercy isn't exactly normal herself.

Kiss of Steel

By Bec McMaster

Most people avoid the dreaded Whitecapel district. For Honoria Todd, it's the last safe haven. But at what price? Blade is known as the master of the rookeries, no one dares cross him. It's been said he faced down the Echelon's army single-handedly, that ever since being infected by the blood-craving he's been quicker, stronger, and almost immortal. When Honoria shows up at his door, his tenuous control comes close to snapping. She's so… innocent. Blade doesn't see her backbone of steel, or that she could be the very salvation he's been seeking.

Midnight Wolf

By Jennifer Ashley

Angus Murray, bouncer for a New Orleans Shifter bar, is sent to round up an elusive, Collar-less Shifter woman, Tamsin Calloway, who is causing trouble for Shifter Bureau and possesses information they want. If Angus refuses, he risks losing his cub. He finds Tamsin, but she's slippery and not about to be rounded up quietly.  In fact, quiet is nothing Tamsin will ever be. She leads Angus on a wild chase, but he's determined to bring her in to save his son. Can Tamsin convince Angus she's worth helping before she's locked away by Shifter Bureau, Collared, or perhaps killed?

Gothic Romance

Be sure to see even more gothic romance recommendations here ! 

The Secret Woman

By Victoria Holt

I shall be back, he said.  When ?  Perhaps sooner than you think . 

Dark Secrets. Lost Treasure. Delicious Scandal. Anna Brett fears she's doomed to be a governess to an English family for the rest of her life. But when the dashing captain Redvers Stretton struts back into her life, she is whisked away from the bleak English countryside forever. But is that such a good thing? While the charming blue-eyed captain makes Anna forget her troubled past, he is hiding dark secrets of his own. It's no coincidence that Stretton's ship is named "The Secret Woman." During their voyage to the South Seas, with a murder dogging her steps and the mystery of a missing treasure haunting her dreams, Anna is forced to confront the clever captain, a man who may have just as many secrets as she. 

Contemporary Romance Novels

See even more  contemporary romance novel recommendations here !

Fairytale: A Novel

By Danielle Steel

Camille Lammenais has grown up in the beauty of the Napa Valley, surrounded by acres of her family's vineyards. Her parents, Christophe and Joy, still deeply in love after two decades of marriage, have built a renowned winery and château modeled after Christophe's ancient family estate in his native Bordeaux. Camille has had a perfect childhood, safe in her parents' love. After graduating from Stanford, she returns to help manage Château Joy, her lifetime goal. But their fairytale ends suddenly with her mother's death from cancer. Six months after losing his wife, the devastated Christophe is easy prey for a mysterious, charming Frenchwoman visiting the valley.

The Countess de Pantin is the essence of Parisian seductiveness and sophistication. Within weeks they are a clandestine couple, making love like teenagers, glowing with their secret. Camille, still grieving for her mother, is shocked by the news that her father intends to remarry. Then she begins to see past the alluring looks, designer clothes, and elegant manners of the countess, while her innocent father is trapped in her web. When tragedy strikes again, Camille is at her stepmother's mercy, and that of the two evil stepbrothers who appear. Camille needs to fight--first for her legacy, and then for her very life. But as she grapples with the plots being carried out against her, the countess's elderly, kind, clever mother becomes her only ally, and a childhood friend emerges as a prince worthy of any fairytale.

The Next Always (The Inn Boonsboro Trilogy)

By Nora Roberts

The historic hotel in BoonsBoro, Maryland, has endured war and peace, changing hands, even rumored hauntings. Now it's getting a major facelift from the Montgomery brothers and their eccentric mother. As the architect of the family, Beckett has little time for a social life. But there’s another project he’s got his eye on: the girl he’s been waiting to kiss since he was sixteen.

After losing her husband and returning to her hometown, Clare Brewster soon settles into her life as the mother of three young sons while running the town’s bookstore. Though busy, Clare is drawn across the street by Beckett’s transformation of the old inn, wanting to take a closer look…at both the building and the man behind it...

First Position

By Melissa Brayden

Anastasia Mikhelson is the rising star of the New York City Ballet. She’s sacrificed creature comforts, a social life, and her own physical well-being for perfection in dance. Even her reputation as The Ice Queen doesn’t faze her. Though Ana’s at the peak of her career, competition from a new and noteworthy dancer puts all she’s worked for in jeopardy. While Natalie Frederico has shown herself to be a prodigy when it comes to ballet, she much prefers modern dance and living on her own terms. Life is too short for anything else. However, when the opportunity to dance with the New York City Ballet is thrust upon her, it’s not like she could say no. Dealing with the company’s uptight lead is another story, however. When the two are forced to work side-by-side, sparks begin to fly onstage and off. 

Rumor Has It

By Cheris Hodges

Liza Palmer couldn't be happier when her best friend and sorority sister, Chante Britt, and her closest guy friend, Robert Montgomery, hit it off. And she's beyond thrilled when they announce their engagement. Robert is an up-and-comer running for the North Carolina senate. Chante is a partner at a prestigious law firm. They're a power couple made in heaven—until Liza discovers Robert in a compromising position with another woman. Liza can't possibly continue to support Robert's campaign, much less let him marry Chante. But when she tries to reveal the truth, Robert pulls out every corrupt trick in the book—including turning Chante against her. Her only choice is to seek out his opponent, Jackson Franklin, and help him take Robert down. But to Liza's great surprise, Jackson won't play dirty and Liza finds him irresistible. As sparks fly, personally and politically, Liza and Jackson may become a winning team in more ways than one.

By Mary Castillo

Tamara Contreras will never again settle for unmemorable sex. Her long-time boyfriend may look perfect to her traditional Mexican-American parents—something Tamara has never been—but at 26, she wants more from life than marriage and motherhood. So, in front of everyone, Tamara does the unthinkable: She turns down her boyfriend's unexpected marriage proposal and leaves home for L.A.

Tamara thinks she's got the single-girl-in-the-city thing down until she runs into Will Benavides, the former high school bad boy-turned-firefighter. If Tamara's parents had known how Will lit up Tamara's teenage fantasies, they'd have shipped her off to the nuns for sure! Now Will wants to make those fantasies come true permanently.

When an unexpected opportunity lands in her lap and Tamara has to choose between the career and the man of her dreams, she wonders if maybe la familia was right after all… 

Modern Love: Reading, Writing, and Publishing the Romance Novel

There is no more polarizing literary genre than romance. It is often referred to in academic and literary circles by the disparaging moniker, “Chick Lit.” Nevertheless, the romance genre continues to be one of the most successful in popular literature today, with over 30 million avid readers and sales of $1.44 billion annually.

This creative thesis is broken down into two parts—essay and completed manuscript. In the essay I take an autoethnographic approach by assessing the genre and how it impacts me as a writer of contemporary romance. First, I address the belief held by many feminists regarding the universal romance plot of “the happily ever after” as being an antifeminist message. I evaluate, as times have changed, romance storylines and how they have transformed to reflect shifting reader demographics that are decidedly pro-feminist, including my own work.

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Guides • Perfecting your Craft

Last updated on Jun 24, 2022

How to Write a Romance Novel: Your Adoring Readers Await!

Romance novels have always captured our hearts — they contain the intrigue, intimacy, and basic human drama that all readers love. Once a “shameful” genre read mostly in secret, romance today is having a huge moment, with mega-popular books like Outlander and Crazy Rich Asians even being adapted for film and TV. If you already understand romance fiction's many subgenres and tropes , why not try to write some of your own?

Though love itself may be hard to explain, the process of writing love stories isn’t. Using examples from a variety of media, here are seven steps for writing romance:

1. Find your niche

2. set the stage effectively, 3. write a strong main couple, 4. use tried-and-true tropes, 5. carefully construct intimate scenes, 6. don’t neglect secondary characters, 7. give your main couple a happy ending.

If you've never even tried to write romance before, don’t worry — we’ll start you off easy. The first thing to know is that the genre, like Walt Whitman, is large and contains multitudes . There’s no one right way to write romance, as evidenced by the fact that it encompasses so many subgenres !

Popular subgenres of romance include:

• Contemporary
• Young adult
• Paranormal /supernatural
• Religious or spiritual

So if you’re concerned that your writing won’t “fit” with the genre, never fear: you just have to find the right niche. And the best way to do that is by reading romance yourself! Of course, you may have already read quite a bit within a particular subgenre and you’re confident that’s where you fit in. But if not, now’s the time to explore romance's many glorious facets.

Step into your local bookstore’s romance section (or, you know, the relevant Amazon category ) and select a few titles to peruse. Take your time with them: the subgenre you most enjoy reading will likely end up being the one you write as well.

That said, despite the wide range of subcategories and niches in romance, certain tips and tricks are universal to every single type. So no matter what romance you write, the rest of this article should still be relevant.

FREE COURSE

How to Write an Irresistible Romance

10 lessons to help you plan, draft, and publish a swoon-worthy romance.

• Romance is all about escape — and if the setting isn’t immersive enough, readers won’t be able to lose themselves in the story.
• Many romance authors go on to write a series based on their first novel (more on that later). So the setting needs to be a place both reader and author will want to return to, book after book. 

What defines a strong setting in romance?

Contemporary romances tend to have cozy, small-scale settings: quaint villages, college campuses, etc. There might be a local haunt where the main characters frequently meet (such as a diner or bookstore), and gossiping friends and neighbors hang around to add a bit of comedy. If you’re sticking to the standard, you’ll want to have one of these “compact” settings where people can’t help but run into each other. 😉

However, your setting could take on different qualities if you’re writing for a more specific subgenre. For example, the historical romance Outlander takes place in a small settlement in the Scottish Highlands. Still, the constant tension and violence there don’t make for a cutesy, cozy setting . Nevertheless, it works for the story because threats from the outside ultimately bring the main couple closer together.

FREE RESOURCE

The Ultimate Worldbuilding Template

130 questions to help create a world readers want to visit again and again.

No matter where your story is set, the most important thing is that it is immersive and feels real. Consider drawing a map of your setting to keep the geography consistent while taking details from real life to enhance authenticity. For instance, if your favorite coffee shop has a red brick exterior with a broken neon sign in the window, maybe your characters’ favorite coffee shop should look like that, too!

As you might expect, romance is an extremely character-driven genre, so your main couple needs to have your readers head over heels (so to speak).

Certain character types have thrived in Romance for decades and, naturally, they play into stereotyped gender roles. Traditionally, the "hero" of a story would have been a man, and the "heroine" would have been a woman. But with an ever-increasing diversity of books written by authors of all backgrounds, it should be noted that heroes and heroines can be male, female, or non-binary. 

With that caveat, let's talk about a popular character dynamic in romance fiction:

When you think about the “hero” of a romance, you probably imagine a swarthy, muscular man sweeping a princess off her feet. But writing a great romantic hero isn’t about chiseled good looks and dramatic gestures; it’s about emotional depth and vulnerability.

“Every hero needs a past — and I mean a past ,” says pro romance editor  Kate Studer . "Heroes in romance have often had a rough childhood, experienced a traumatic event, or been in a relationship that left them heartbroken." This has caused the hero to become closed-off and insecure, even if he projects total self-assurance.

Christian Grey from Fifty Shades is actually a perfect example of this. Despite his confident persona, he is scarred from his dysfunctional relationship with a much older woman when he was only fifteen.

In any case, the hero meets and is drawn in by the heroine — who could be a bright-eyed ingénue, a spirited single parent, or a sex worker with a heart of gold. Something about this new person breaks through our hero’s shell. By the end of the story, the hero should be a changed person , more open and much happier — all because they have a love in their life.

The heroine

The heroine, for their part, should have some trouble as well. A common plot finds the hero helping a financially struggling heroine (for instance, by offering them a job), only for the heroine to turn around and solve one of the hero's problems (like getting over an ex).

Indeed, the heroine should be just as strong a figure as the hero, if not more so. The trend these days is to make the love interest resilient with a mind of her own — think Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman . This kind of assertive character often coaxes the hero to get out of their comfort zone. Even if the heroine starts out timid and self-conscious, they should gain the courage to eventually stand up for themselves!

There are a million different ways for your hero and heroine to interact, but the main thing is that their relationship should be dynamic. After all, if they meet and fall in love immediately with no issues to work through, it’s not much of a story.

On top of all that, each one should be a three-dimensional character in their own right. Give them realistic motivations and flaws, ideally tied into their backstory. This will ensure that your main couple is realistic and engaging, so readers will root for them immediately.

If you want to write complex and fully fleshed-out characters, check out this handy cheat sheet: our free character profile template.

Reedsy’s Character Profile Template

Fill this out to develop characters who will have readers smitten.

Now we’re getting into the meat and potatoes of the story. Again, there are so many possible paths for your main couple to take that it would be impossible to describe them all! But here are just a few tried-and-true devices that many romance authors have used successfully.

Friends/enemies to lovers

Two of the most beloved romantic devices of all time. The main couple knows each other, but they just don’t see each other that way — or they may not like each other. 😧 Luckily, all that's about to change.

Friends to lovers tends to work best when there’s another big conflict or project distracting one or both of the main characters, so they don’t get together until the very end. This is basically the plot of that Netflix movie Set It Up : the two main characters are so focused on getting their bosses to fall in love, they don’t realize that they themselves would make a great couple.

Enemies to lovers is the perfect device for two characters who clash in some fundamental way. For example, one might be very Type A and the other more Type B (see: 27 Dresses ). Or one is a hardworking single parent while the other is a spoiled rich bachelor/bachelorette who’s never had to work a day in their lives (see: Overboard ).

And of course, there’s always enemies to friends to lovers — arguably the most effective and realistic iteration of this trope, as evidenced by Pride and Prejudice and When Harry Met Sally . The hero and heroine hate each other at first sight, gradually get to know one another and become friends, and ultimately fall deeply in love. It’s the perfect combination of fiery tension and genuine connection, and if you can pull it off, the payoff is incredibly satisfying.

One helps the other one heal

As we discussed, the hero in romance often has some deep psychological wound inflicted by his past. (The heroine can, too, but it’s more common among heroes.) It might just be a backstory detail, but it can also serve as a source of conflict for your couple: the damage impedes their relationship or his mental health, so the heroine has to help the hero heal.

A prime example of this device occurs in Me Before You , in which the heroine, Louisa, literally becomes a carer for a quadriplegic man named Will. Will is bitter and depressed at first, but eventually he opens up to Lou and becomes much less negative — not to mention he helps her see own potential. We’re not going to give out any spoilers, but it’s safe to say that he’s much better off for having met her, and both agree that their time together was invaluable.

Choosing each other all over again

Ah, the quintessential trope of Rachel McAdams movies. For those who haven’t seen The Notebook or The Vow , this device involves the hero and heroine either being separated for a very long time, or one of them outright forgetting who the other one is — due to amnesia, dementia, or some supernatural phenomenon. Then they have to choose each other all over again, hence proving that they’re well and truly soulmates. (For a more recent example, check out the season four Black Mirror episode “Hang the DJ.”)

Also, remember that, as much as readers love these devices, it’s still important to put your own spin on them. Infuse unique elements to add intrigue/suspense, or just for entertainment! For example, Ten Things I Hate About You is based on Shakespeare’s classic romantic comedy The Taming of the Shrew — but it’s set in modern day with high schoolers, which makes it much more fresh and accessible.

You can’t talk about writing romance without touching on physically intimate scenes — though this doesn’t necessarily mean sex scenes, or even almost-sex scenes.

R-rated scenes are more likely to feature in certain genres, such as urban fantasy romances and erotica. But romance novelists in other genres often keep it pretty PG-13, skipping sex altogether (especially in historical or YA romance ) or “fading out” right before the act. In the latter case, passionate kisses and electric touches substitute for actual sex scenes, and are part of what we count as "intimate."

And the same rule is true of all intimate scenes, no matter how explicit: be careful about how you write them. Craft all descriptions of physical intimacy with a light touch, and only after sufficient buildup — make your readers eagerly anticipate each encounter. Also try to steer away from overwrought, euphemism-filled romantic language that can border on parody (you probably know the kind we’re talking about).

One of the best tactics for writing intimate scenes is simply studying those  you think are written well. The author you emulate will depend on your subgenre and personal taste, but some mainstream authors who write good, nuanced love and sex scenes are Curtis Sittenfeld, Sally Rooney, and Nicholas Sparks. The more you read and hone your language for it, the better your love scenes will be. Trust us: your readers will thank you.

How to Turn Up the Heat in Your Romance

10 lessons on how, when, and where to add steamy scenes to your novel.

While the main couple is obviously where most of your characterization focus should be, secondary characters are critical to a well-rounded romance. After all, when the heroine’s agonizing over her hot-and-cold text conversation with the hero, who’s she going to ask for advice? Why, her Tinder aficionado roommate, of course.

Secondary characters fill out the world of your romance novel. Friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, and even arch-enemies — say, someone who’s competing with one of your main characters for the other character’s interest — all contribute to making the story come to life.

Best friends are typically the most important secondary characters in romance, since they’re the ones who dispense advice, give pep talks, and generally add color to the story. They’re often a little bit quirky , but that’s why the main characters love them… and why readers do too!

Still, ensure that most of the focus remains on your main couple, as we mentioned. Former Harlequin editor Ann Leslie Tuttle notes that secondary characters can sometimes become “too pervasive” in romance, which is a big no-no. “You don’t want to risk making them more interesting than your own hero and heroine,” she says.

Series potential?

Having a solid secondary character presence is especially important if you want to turn your novel into a series . There are a few ways to create a series from a standalone romance, but one of the easiest (and most enticing to readers!) is to write the next novel about one (or two) of the secondary characters — especially best friends, siblings, or romantic competitors of the main characters. Emily Giffin does this seamlessly in her novels, Something Borrowed and Something Blue : two of the heroine’s best friends in the first book, who initially seem like opposites, end up getting together in the sequel.

This strategy is great because it ensures a smooth transition from book to book, since readers will already be familiar with the setting and cast of characters. Plus, it sets you up for a cycle that you could theoretically repeat ad infinitum: each new sequel simply centers around characters who were secondary in the previous book.

One of the romance genre's implicit promises is the happy ending. No matter how much turbulence your main couple experiences over the course of your novel, they should end up in each other’s arms. It doesn’t need to be a “happily ever after,” but it should at least be a “happy for now”: something to reassure the reader that these two characters are stable for the foreseeable future.

There are special cases that don’t adhere to this rule, such as the endings of Me Before You and Dear John (which raises the question of whether or not they’re "true" romances). The main characters in these novels don’t wind up together, but they have grown because of one another and don’t regret falling in love. Still, this is a pretty difficult resolution to pull off — so if it’s your first romance novel, stick to the traditional happy ending.

What else should the ending do?

The ending of your novel should also tie up any loose threads that you weave throughout the narrative. Again, romance readers want to be fully immersed in the story, and that immersion suffers if they’re left wondering about questions you posed but never answered. The only exception to this is the question of what will happen to the secondary characters who have great chemistry — because, of course, you might be setting them up for a sequel!

And with that, you should be well on your way to writing a romance novel that’ll make your reader swoon like a corseted Victorian. However, if you'd like advice from a serious expert, we recommend checking out our free 10-day course with professional romance editor Kate Studer. And... if you're still stuck for an idea, why not have a play around with our Romance Plot Generator.

Best of luck and have fun romancing your readers! 💘

In the next part of this guide, we'll show you how to publish your romance novel (and hopefully turn a profit from it).

2 responses

Maren says:

08/07/2020 – 16:41

How to write a kiss scene?

Saher c says:

06/08/2020 – 18:37

loveliest article I've ever read....swoon like a corseted victorian ;D

Comments are currently closed.

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How to Write a Romance Novel: The Complete Guide

Krystal N. Craiker

So you want to write a romance novel ?

The romance genre has consistently remained one of the best-selling genres of all time and is currently the most lucrative one. People love love, and love sells. It’s no wonder so many authors want to get in on the action.

But if you’ve never written a love story, you might be wondering how to do it. Have no fear. Today we’re going to answer all of your questions. And we’ll take it a step further. You don’t want to write just any romance novel. You want to write a good one.

Before we get down to the heart of the matter (see what I did there?), there’s one piece of writing advice that applies to every genre.

How Do You Start Writing a Romance Novel?

What are the subgenres of romance, how do i choose my romantic leads, do i need world-building in romance writing, how do i structure a romance novel, what are the most common romance tropes, how do i pick the right pov for my romance novel, fall in love with your characters, do you want to write, publish, and sell a bestselling romance novel.

Read in the genre you want to write.

And read extensively. You need to read the genre to have a full grasp of reader expectations. So, load up your shopping cart with all the romance you can find. Start with the best romance books of all time to get a broad sense of the genre.

All read up? Good. Now we can get to the juicy stuff.

Romance is a wide umbrella. The only essential component of a romance novel is a romantic focus and a happy, or hopeful, ending.

Before you get started, you need to narrow your genre down. Let’s look at some of the popular subgenres of romance.

Contemporary Romance

Contemporary romance is the book form of a chick flick. The setting is realistic and familiar, even if it takes place in a fictional town.

Within contemporary romance you might find even more niches, like military romance, mafia romance, billionaire romance, and small-town romance.

Historical Romance

One of the most popular subgenres is historical romance. You might have heard these referred to as “bodice rippers.” But I’m here to tell you that no bodice has to be ripped to write historical romance.

Any story set more than about fifty years ago is considered historical fiction. Many historical romances take place in the Regency era, such as the Bridgerton series by Julia Quinn.

Wild West romances and World War II romances are also very popular. But romance has happened throughout time and space, so pick the era that feels right.

Paranormal Romance

Werewolves, vampires, shapeshifters. Oh, my! Paranormal romance, often abbreviated to PNR by authors and fans, is any romance that involves the supernatural. Typically, one or both of the main characters is/are a supernatural creature. A Discovery of Witches series by Deborah Harkness is an example of paranormal romance.

Fantasy Romance

If you prefer your love stories to occur in another world full of magic, then fantasy romance is the subgenre for you. When magic occurs in a real-world setting, the line between paranormal and fantasy gets blurry.

If you’ve created an alternative world, you’re writing fantasy.

Within fantasy romance, fae romance is extremely popular. Sarah J. Maas and Holly Black are two bestselling fantasy-romance authors.

Religious Romance

If you prefer your romance clean with a focus on spirituality, then religious romance might be the way to go. Most religious romances are Christian fiction.

They can be contemporary or historical. Besides the normal plot structure of a romance, one or both of the main characters should also find salvation by the end of the story.

Young Adult Romance

Move over, Romeo and Juliet. The young adult (YA) genre is one of the most lucrative genres out there for writers. It doesn’t appeal to just teenagers. Young adult fiction, especially young adult romance, appeals to readers of all ages.

There’s just something about young love that everyone can relate to. Just look at Divergent by Veronica Roth or The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.

Queer Romance

As the publishing industry continues its push for diversity, queer romance is gaining in popularity. People are glad to have characters that they can relate to falling in love. Rainbow Rowell is one of the bestselling queer romance authors.

Erotic Romance

Most of these genres can feature explicit sex scenes, with the exception of Christian romance and YA romance. But in erotic romance, sex is one of the key points of the story, but the love story is equally important.

In erotica (different to erotic romance) sex is the focal point, and any romance or character development is secondary.

Blending and Bending Genres

You might have noticed some overlap with the genres listed above. For example, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer is a young-adult paranormal romance. You can blend genres in any way that makes sense to you.

You can also bend genres . Take genre expectations and mash them together for something completely unique.

One example is the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris. These books are both paranormal mysteries and paranormal romance. The stories don’t work without both the mystery and romance aspects.

The Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon is steeped in two different eras of history, but the author also throws in time travel for a fantasy element.

Do you want to write a queer, young-adult, sci-fi mystery romance with alien werewolves? Go for it! The sky’s the limit for writing romance. As long as the love story is the most crucial component of the plot, it counts as a romance.

A lot of advice about writing romance tells you to pick your setting first. Of course, setting and characters go hand-in-hand. However, romance arcs require strong character growth. For a compelling romance, your story should be primarily character-driven.

What sort of traits do you want your characters to have? Are you writing brooding heroes and brazen heroines? Are your characters rich or poor, timid or outgoing, humble or arrogant?

Your two love interests should have some conflicting personality traits. This creates the interpersonal conflicts that drive the romance forward.

Also, make sure that your heroes and heroines fit the subgenre that you write in. A noble duke might be out of place in your small-town werewolf paranormal romance.

How do you want your characters to grow together? How do you want their love to change each other? The point of a romance is that love makes both main characters better. What character flaws do they overcome by falling in love?

World-building is an important part of any story. You might think you don’t need to focus on world-building if you aren’t writing a fantasy or historical romance. But the world your story takes place in is important, even if it looks like our world.

Setting is crucial to world-building. Setting determines the logistics of your story. What do your characters do for a living? How will they meet? Social expectations and character behaviors are also dictated by setting.

If you’re writing fantasy or paranormal romance, you’ll also need to define your mythology and magic systems and determine how your characters fit into them.

The world-building stage is a great opportunity to find a plot conflict if you haven’t thought of one. In religious romance, the world-building might show you the two different, conflicting belief systems and how they converge in your characters.

In historical romance, you might find class or race differences are a great starting point for conflict.

You might think all you need for a romance novel is love, right? Well, if you plan on marketing your love story as a romance novel, there are some basic guidelines that avid romance readers expect.

The typical plot structure of a romance novel, in its most basic form, looks something like this:

1) Meet cute

2) Building of romantic tension

3) Couple gets together/almost gets together

4) Couple is torn apart

5) Happily ever after

Let’s dive into each of these in greater detail.

She’s a barista who wants to be an actress. He’s a playboy Hollywood exec who stops by her coffee shop.

He’s an earl with a dark secret. She’s a lady who has secrets of her own. They meet at a ball.

She’s a teacher in a small town. She falls in love with the new, mysterious woman in town after spilling coffee all over the both of them at the Fall Festival.

The meet cute is the term for the inciting incident in a romance. How do your characters meet? What draws them together?

The meet cute sets the tone for the entire story. While it doesn’t have to be love at first sight—and probably shouldn’t be for realism’s sake—you must establish strong romantic tension.

They don’t have to like each other at first. You could be writing an enemies-to-lovers story or have a grumpy love interest, but there should be a spark of something.

This is also an important place for characterization. How your characters speak to each other says a lot about their personalities and how their relationship will work. They might lean toward sarcastic banter or heated flirtations.

It’s also where you’ll describe the love interest through the eyes of your main character. Use description in a way that makes sense for the character’s point of view.

Need help with description? Use ProWritingAid’s Sensory Report to help develop the sensory details associated with your characters. It’s important to use all of the five senses and not rely too heavily on a single one.

Build the Romantic Tension

Now your characters have to interact so they can develop a relationship. Some plot structures suggest that there should be a minimum of three scenes where they interact before the characters kiss or get together.

Determine what sort of events can draw your characters together. Be sure to give them ample opportunity to be alone together.

Through each scene, make their observations of one another deeper and more intimate. Hint at any emotional wounds or baggage, and show how falling in love might heal them.

Couple Gets Together but Is Torn Apart

Your couple must get together. After all, that’s the whole point of the romance. But your story will be very short and underdeveloped if your happily ever after comes too soon. I’m covering these two plot points together because they are so intertwined.

A first kiss or a tryst is common for this first union in romance. Your couple can date for a while as the external plot progresses, or they may decide that they cannot be together after just one night.

Work within the confines of your world and story to determine what this will look like. Here are a few examples.

The couple spends a night together, but then one is offered their dream job the next morning, and it’s two thousand miles away.

Something nefarious occurs after a kiss, and one of the love interests is kidnapped or is forced to run away.

Their love is forbidden, and they are discovered and pulled apart by family.

One wakes up with guilt because of the nature of their relationship (not accepted by society, is the enemy, is the widow of their childhood best friend, etc.)

How long the couple is able to be together before being inevitably pulled apart depends on the length of your novel and how you want any external plots to develop.

Are they able to meet in secret for months before they are discovered? Or is there just one night of passion before one decides to leave? All of this varies from story to story.

Happily Ever After or Happily for Now

You know how the fairy tales end: “and they all lived happily ever after. The end.” But we can’t end romance novels quite that simply. What does a happy ending look like for your characters?

If there is one plot component that is expected by the vast majority of romance readers, it’s the happy ending.

Happily ever after means that you somehow show or imply that your couple is together forever. Nothing will tear them apart, and the worst of times are behind them. But that might not work for your story.

Enter the world of “happily for now.”

It means that when the story ends, everything is going well. However, you don’t allude that everything will be fine in the future.

Sarah J. Maas does this in her series. The first love interests of her main characters are never the endgame relationship. If you’re planning a series, a “happily for now” ending might work well.

What if You Want a Sad Ending?

Some authors have had great success with tearjerker endings, like Nicholas Sparks. In this case, there should have been a “happily for now” or “happily ever after” before the end. In other words, the ending should leave the reader satisfied with the culmination of the romantic relationship.

If one of the characters dies, does the remaining character still have a chance at a happy life? Did the love story change the remaining character for the better?

Tread carefully with non-traditional romance endings. There should still be a degree of happiness at the end of the book. If your story ends too much like a Shakespearean tragedy, your readers will lose trust in you.

There is an endless number of romance tropes, and they stay popular because people love them.

Of course, tropes that are overused in the same way can become clichéd. Figure out a way to freshen up some of these tropes and use them in a new, creative light.

Romance tropes are great for developing plot and building romantic tension. Here are some well-known romance tropes that stand the test of time.

• Enemies to lovers
• Friends to enemies to lovers
• Friends to lovers
• Marriage of convenience
• Fake relationship
• Arrogant playboy finds his heart
• Forced proximity (roommates, coworkers, hostages, etc.)
• There’s only one bed!
• Secret billionaire/secret royal
• Love triangles
• Forbidden love
• Girl next door
• Brother/sister’s best friend
• Second chance romance

These are just a few. There are so many tropes you can play with. Mix and match them to create a completely original story!

The last major factor when planning and writing your romance novel is the point of view (POV). Alternating POV between two or more lovers is a common occurrence.

Third-person omniscient allows you to get in the heads of not just the couple, but secondary characters as well.

You can write in first or third person. There are advantages and disadvantages to both. All readers have their preferences.

Think about your story without writing. How do you imagine telling this love story? Is it easy for you to see both love interests’ perspectives? Does one character have a stronger arc than the other? Who do you want readers to relate to the most?

It’s okay to start a story in one point of view and realize it’s not working. You can always rewrite scenes with a new POV during editing.

Most importantly, writing a romance novel should be fun. Write in a way that makes you fall in love with your characters and makes you want them to have a happily ever after. Focus on the emotions rather than the events. Romance readers are in it for the feelings—the angsty, the warm, the cozy, the heart-wrenching.

They did just so and all the romance writers lived happily ever after. The end.

Learn from bestselling authors and writing experts like Taylor Jenkins Reid and Sarah MacLean at Romance Writers’ Week, October 24–28, 2022.

Be confident about grammar

Check every email, essay, or story for grammar mistakes. Fix them before you press send.

Krystal N. Craiker is the Writing Pirate, an indie romance author and blog manager at ProWritingAid. She sails the seven internet seas, breaking tropes and bending genres. She has a background in anthropology and education, which brings fresh perspectives to her romance novels. When she’s not daydreaming about her next book or article, you can find her cooking gourmet gluten-free cuisine, laughing at memes, and playing board games. Krystal lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband, child, and basset hound.

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ENG 198 Reading the Romance Novel: Critical Approaches

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There are not many literary genres as loved and loathed as romance fiction. For all its millions of readers for hundreds of years, it has been dismissed as sentimental, sappy, trashy, as well as mad, bad and dangerous to read. Yet romance fiction, predominantly written by women, published by women and read by women, remains one of the most popular and powerful genres on the planet ... Romance fiction is a woman-powered genre from which novel ideas come. Women continue to lead the way in a revaluing and deeper understanding of romance and recognition of the lasting power of its philosophy. Romance is at heart a language and languages, like love, are eternally recreated.

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Journal of Popular Romance …

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This article outlines one model for introducing popular romance studies to undergraduate English programs: teaching romance texts and topics alongside canonical and contemporary literary texts. It discusses the authors’ approach to teaching Georgette Heyer’sSylvesterinaunitonhistoricalfictionofferedattheUniversityofTasmaniain2010 and analyses student responses to this initiative through examination of selected assessmenttasks.

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The pdf is only an excerpt, NOT the full document. Abstract from the Publisher: Laura Vivanco’s study challenges the idea that Harlequin Mills & Boon romances are merely mass-produced commodities, churned out in accordance with a strict and unchanging formula. She argues that many are well-written, skilfully crafted works, and that some are small masterpieces. For Love and Money demonstrates the variety that exists beneath the covers of Harlequin Mills & Boon romances. They range from paranormal romances to novels resembling chick lit, and many have addressed serious issues, including the plight of post-Second World War refugees, threats to marine mammals, and HIV/AIDS. The genre draws inspiration from Shakespearean comedies and Austen’s novels, as well as from other forms of popular culture. Cover Quote from Professor Eric M. Selinger: Laura Vivanco’s For Love and Money is the book that scholars and fans have both been waiting for: a deft, attentive introduction to the Harlequin Mills & Boon romance novel as a work of art. [...] Vivanco traces the connections between these books and the classical myths and medieval romances they so often deliberately echo, and she shows how the novels use allusion and metatextual reflection to defend their genre. [...] Vivanco’s conversation with earlier critics, from the 1930s “Battle of the Brows” through 21st century scholars like Pamela Regis, is lively, engaging, and good-humored, and she has a remarkable eye for the textual details that bring each novel to life. I am profoundly impressed.

Journal of Communication

Radhika Parameswaran

In this study I took an ethnographic approach to examine the reception of imported Mills & Boon romance novels among women in postcolonial urban India. My approach included intensive interviews and participant observation among a group of young, middle- and upper-class women in Hyderabad, a city in South India. My analysis of young women’s responses revealed the social construction of these Western romance novels as English-language media. Romance novels were pleasurable because they were an extension of Indian women’s childhood English-language reading. Readers viewed romance novels as resources to improve English-language skills and used romance reading to bolster their identities as modern and cosmopolitan women. In conclusion, I consider the implications of the study for media globalization and ethnographic audience research.

Journal of Popular Romance Studies, 4.2

Anne Gracie is one of Australia’s most awarded popular historical romance writers and a past president of the Romance Writers of Australia (2006 – 2008). Her first novel Gallant Waif, published by Harlequin, was a finalist for the RITA Award for best first book in 2000 and won the Romance Writers of America (RWA) National Readers Choice Award in 2001. Her second novel for Harlequin, Tallie’s Knight, won the Australian Romantic Book of the Year (awarded by the Romance Writers of Australia) in 2002 and The Romance Journal’s 2001 Francis Award for Best Regency. An Honourable Thief, released in the UK in 2001, the USA in 2002 and Australia in 2003, won the 2002 RWA National Readers Choice Award for Best Regency. In 2005, Anne published her first novel with Berkley, The Perfect Rake, which was a finalist for American and Australian romance awards. Originally intended as a stand-alone title The Perfect Rake became, to Anne’s great surprise, the first book in her much-loved four-book Merridew Series. Romantic Times awarded the heroes of the second and fourth books K.I.S.S. awards (Knight in Shining Silver). The final Merridew novel, The Perfect Kiss, was a 2008 RITA finalist. Her five-book Devil Rider’s series was published by Berkeley between 2008 and 2012. The first book, The [End Page 1] Stolen Princess, won the Romance Writers of Australia RuBY Award for Romantic Book of the Year in 2009 and the fifth, Bride By Mistake, was a 2012 RITA finalist for best historical romance. The first book of her new Chance Sisters series, The Autumn Bride was published in 2013, and was a RITA finalist. Anne Gracie and Lisa Fletcher met at the 2013 Romance Writers of Australia Conference at the Esplanade Hotel, Fremantle, Australia. The interview took place in a quiet alcove of the hotel on the afternoon of 17 August, 2013.

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250-500 Word Example Essays About Love and Romance

Got an Essay assignment about Love and Romance? Let us help you out with these inspiring Examples!

Love, an emotion that has captivated the hearts and minds of poets, authors, and artists throughout history, remains a profound and multi-faceted subject. While the depth and complexity of this emotion can make it a daunting topic to explore in an essay, the right resources can turn this challenge into a rewarding endeavor. For those looking to capture the essence of love and romance in their writing, our essay writer can be a beacon of inspiration and assistance. This tool, powered by Jenni.ai, offers a seamless journey through the essay-writing process, from brainstorming ideas to refining the final draft. 

Whether you're delving into argumentative, persuasive , or reflective essays about love, Jenni.ai ensures clarity, coherence, and a touch of elegance in your prose. It's a trusted companion for students, educators, and seasoned writers alike, simplifying the writing journey every step of the way.

1. The Evolution of Love: A Study of the Changing Nature of Romance throughout History

Introduction.

Love is one of humanity's most complicated and mysterious emotions. People have strived to comprehend and define Love throughout history, resulting in many works of literature, art, and music dedicated to the subject. Despite its universal appeal, the nature of Love has evolved significantly throughout time, reflecting evolving cultural, social, and economic situations. In this essay, we will look at the evolution of Love, from ancient times to the present.

Ancient Love

A. Greek and Roman Love

Love was viewed as a complex and varied feeling in ancient Greece and Rome, comprising characteristics of desire, friendship, and awe. Love was frequently represented as a tremendous force in ancient civilizations, capable of both propelling individuals to high heights of success and bringing them down into the depths of sorrow. This was especially true of romantic Love, which was glorified in epic poems like the Iliad and Odyssey , as well as works of art and literature depicting the hardships and sufferings of star-crossed lovers.

B. Medieval Love

A chivalric code known as courtly Love emerged in medieval Europe. Its core tenants were the importance of Love, honour, and devotion. During this time, romantic Love was typically portrayed as an unrequited emotion, with the lover pining for the affections of a faraway and unreachable beloved. Medieval poets and troubadours mirrored this romanticised picture of Love in their works by singing and writing about the highs and lows of passionate Love.

Modern Love

A. The Renaissance

The idealized picture of Love that had ruled for centuries was called into question by artists and intellectuals during the Renaissance, marking a turning point in the development of romantic relationships. During this time, romantic Love was portrayed as more tactile and visceral. Shakespeare, for instance, reflected the shifting beliefs of his day by exploring the nuanced and often tragic nature of Love in his works.

B. The Enlightenment

The concepts of reason and individuality began to gain root during the Enlightenment, and with that came a shift in how people saw Love. Political marriages and alliances were often formed based on Love, which was now considered a more sensible and practical feeling. Thinkers from the Enlightenment period, including Voltaire and Jean-Jacques Rousseau, shared this perspective on Love as a tool for bettering society and the individual.

C. The Modern Era

Today, the word "love" is most often used to describe a feeling one has when they are in a committed relationship or when one has achieved their own goals. Love has become a consumable good thanks to the spread of consumerism and the worship of the individual. The media and arts reflect this conception of Love by depicting it as a means to one's fulfillment and contentment.

The changing cultural, social, and economic conditions of each historical epoch are reflected in the history of Love. The essence of Love has changed dramatically throughout the years, from its idealised image in ancient Greece and Rome to its depiction as a spiritual tie in mediaeval Europe to its current identification with romantic relationships and personal fulfilment. Despite these changes, Love remains a strong and enduring force in human existence, inspiring numerous works of art, literature, and music and affecting how we live and interact with one another.

2. The Power of Love: Examining the Impact of Love on Our Lives and Relationships

Love is a strong feeling that may dramatically alter our life and the bonds we form with others. love, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, can unite us and improve our lives in countless ways., the benefits of love.

A. Improved Physical Health

Love has been demonstrated to improve physical health by decreasing stress, lowering blood pressure, and increasing immunity. The hormone oxytocin, which is released in response to social bonding and has been demonstrated to reduce physiological responses to stress, is thought to be at play here.

B. Enhanced Mental Health

In addition to its physical benefits, Love has been shown to have a beneficial effect on our mental health, lowering stress and anxiety levels and boosting our general sense of happiness. The protective powers of Love against the negative consequences of stress and other difficulties in life are well accepted.

C. Strengthened Relationships

A stronger tie may be formed between two people via the power of Love. Relationships of all kinds, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, may benefit from the strengthening effects of Love by increasing their levels of closeness, trust, and mutual understanding.

The Challenges of Love

A. Love can be painful

Sometimes Love hurts, as when a relationship ends or when we can't find the one we're looking for. One of life's most trying events is losing someone we care about, which may leave us feeling isolated, discouraged, and empty.

The Power of Love to Overcome Challenges

Despite these difficulties, Love may help us overcome them and grow closer to one another. The strength of Love is that it may help us learn and grow, both as people and as a community, via its many forms, such as forgiveness, compromise, and the willingness to persevere through adversity.

Finally, Love is a strong and transformational force that may profoundly influence our lives and relationships. Love may provide us joy, comfort, and a feeling of purpose, whether between friends, family, or romantic partners. Despite its numerous advantages, Love may also bring with it difficulties such as heartbreak and strife. Nonetheless, never underestimate the power of Love. 

It has the potential to draw people together and form deep, long-lasting bonds. Love has the power to make the world a better place, whether through acts of kindness, selflessness, or simply being there for one another. So, let us embrace Love in all of its manifestations and harness its potential to improve our lives and the lives of those around us.

3. The Science of Love: Understanding the Biology and Psychology Behind Love and Attraction

For millennia, people have been drawn and intrigued by the intricate and intriguing feeling of Love. Despite its enormous global significance, the science of Love is now being thoroughly investigated. This paper will investigate the biology and psychology of Love and attraction, delving into the different elements that impact these powerful emotions and how they form our relationships.

The Biology of Love

A. Hormone Function

Love is a biological process controlled by chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. These hormones influence our sensations of attraction, enthusiasm, and enjoyment and boost sentiments of trust and closeness.

B. The Influence of Genetics

Genetics also has an impact on Love and attraction, with some personality qualities and physical characteristics that are considered to be appealing to potential spouses being handed down from generation to generation. This suggests that particular preferences for specific sorts of people are hardwired into our genetics, influencing our romantic and sexual attraction patterns.

The Psychology of Love

A. The Role of Attachment Styles

Our attachment types, which we acquire from our early connections with our caretakers, also affect our Love. These attachment types can significantly influence our later relationships, influencing how we build and keep deep attachments with others.

B. The Impact of Social Norms and Values

Cultural Values

Social conventions and cultural ideas also impact Love and attraction, with societal expectations and values impacting our romantic and sexual impulses. These social conventions and cultural ideas influence everything from who we are attracted to and how we approach and pursue relationships.

The Meeting of Biology and

Love Psychology

The biology and psychology of Love are inextricably linked and interdependent, with one having a complicated and subtle impact on the other. This suggests that, while biology influences our sentiments of attraction and Love, our psychological experiences and beliefs may equally shape these emotions.

To summarise, love science is a complicated and intriguing discipline that encompasses the biology and psychology of this strong and transformational emotion. By investigating the elements that impact Love and attraction, we may gain a deeper understanding of the systems that underpin these feelings and how they shape our lives and relationships. The study of Love is a vital and beneficial effort, whether we seek Love, attempt to preserve Love, or wonder about the science underlying this feeling.

4. The Fine Line Between Love and Obsession: Exploring the Dark Side of Love

Love is a powerful and transformative emotion that can bring immense joy and fulfilment to our lives. But Love can also turn dark and dangerous when it crosses the line into obsession. This essay will examine the fine line between Love and obsession, exploring how Love can become unhealthy and dangerous.

The Characteristics of Obsessive Love

A. Unhealthy Attachment

Obsessive Love is characterized by an unhealthy attachment to another person, with the obsessed person becoming overly dependent on their partner for emotional fulfilment. This can lead to feelings of possessiveness and jealousy, as well as a need for constant attention and validation.

B. Control and Manipulation

Obsessive Love can also involve control and manipulation, with the obsessed person trying to control every aspect of their partner's life and behaviour. This can range from minor acts of manipulation, such as trying to dictate what their partner wears or who they spend time with, to more serious forms of control, such as physical abuse or stalking.

The Dark Side of Love

A. Stalking and Harassment

The dark side of Love can take many forms, with stalking and harassment being among the most extreme and dangerous forms of obsessive behaviour. Stalking and harassment can have serious and long-lasting consequences for the victim, causing fear, stress, and trauma that can impact their mental and physical well-being.

B. Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is another form of the dark side of Love, with physical, sexual, and psychological abuse being used as a means of control and domination. Domestic violence can have devastating consequences for the victim, often leading to serious injury or even death.

The Roots of Obsessive Love

A. Psychological Issues

Obsessive Love can have its roots in psychological issues, including depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. These conditions can lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem, making it difficult for individuals to form healthy relationships.

B. Cultural and Social Factors

Cultural and social factors can also play a role in the development of obsessive Love, with certain societal beliefs and norms promoting possessiveness and control in relationships. This can include gender roles, expectations, and cultural beliefs about Love and relationships.

In conclusion, the fine line between Love and obsession is delicate and dangerous, with Love crossing over into unhealthy and dangerous territory when it becomes obsessive. By understanding the characteristics of obsessive Love and how it can take dark and dangerous forms, we can better protect ourselves and our loved ones from the negative consequences of this powerful emotion.

5. The Concept of Unconditional Love: An Analysis of the Ideal of Selfless Love

All kinds of different things count as Love since it's such a complicated and diverse feeling. Unconditional Love is frequently depicted as altruistic, all-encompassing, and unshakable, making it one of the most romanticized types. In this essay, I'd discuss the idea of unconditional Love, defining it and contrasting it with other types of affection.

An Explanation of Selfless Love

A. Selfless Love

The term "unconditional love" is commonly used to describe a type of Love that puts the other person's needs before its own. In this kind of Love, one person cares for another without any thought of return or compensation.

B. Love that encompasses everything

Many people use the term "all-encompassing" to express how unconditional Love embraces a person regardless of who they are or what they've done in their lives. A love like this doesn't depend on the other person changing or improving in any way; rather, it's an unconditional embrace of the person as they are.

The Ideal of Unconditional Love

A. Love Without Conditions

Unconditional Love is a romantic ideal in which the lover places no restrictions on the object of his affection. Since it involves so much giving of oneself, this kind of Love is typically held up as the pinnacle of romantic relationships.

B. Putting the Feeling into Action

However, since we are all flawed human beings, practising unconditional Love can be challenging in daily life. Although this may be the case, the ideal of unconditional Love is still significant since it motivates us to improve our Love and compassion towards others.

The Advantages of Unconditional Love

A. Stronger Connections

Unconditional Love has the potential to improve our connections with others, leading to deeper and more meaningful bonds. This kind of Love creates a non-judgmental and welcoming attitude towards people, which can assist to lessen conflict and improve understanding.

B. More Joy and Satisfaction

As a result of the more profound relationships it fosters, unconditional Love may also increase a person's sense of well-being and contentment. Finding Love like this may give our life new meaning and make us feel whole.

In conclusion, many of us hold unconditional Love as a relationship goal. Even if it's not always possible, the ideal of unconditional Love is worthwhile since it motivates us to increase our Love and compassion. The concept of unconditional Love may lead us to a more meaningful and happy lifestyle, whether our goal is to better our relationships or to find more pleasure and contentment in general.

6. The Importance of Communication in Love Relationships: A Study of the Role of Communication in Maintaining Love

Love relationships, like all others, benefit greatly from open lines of communication between partners. Connecting with one another on a regular basis, whether it's to chat about the day, express emotions, or problem-solve, is crucial to keeping the Love alive between you. This essay will discuss the significance of communication in romantic relationships, specifically how it helps couples stay together and grow closer over time.

Advantages of good communication

Increased Compatibility and Mutual Understanding

Love partnerships benefit significantly from open lines of communication that facilitate mutual understanding and closeness. Sharing our innermost ideas, emotions, and experiences with our partners via direct and honest communication strengthens our bonds with them.

Reduced Conflict

As we can better address difficulties and find positive solutions to differences when communicating effectively, we experience less conflict in our relationships. Relationships may be stronger and more loving by talking through differences and finding common ground.

The Difficulties in Expressing Your Feelings in a Romantic Relationship

A. Confusing Messages and Confused Intents

Good communication can sometimes be difficult, especially in romantic partnerships, despite its many advantages. Conflict, anger and a lack of trust may all result from poor communication and misunderstandings in relationships.

B. Vulnerability and Emotional Safety

Likewise, it takes courage and trust to open up and talk about your feelings with the person you love. It may be nerve-wracking to communicate our innermost thoughts and feelings with a partner because of the risk of being judged harshly or rejected.

The Importance of Active Listening

What is Active Listening?

Maintaining positive connections with others requires not just good talkers but also good listeners. Paying close attention to the other person as they speak and making an effort to get their viewpoint and requirements is an essential component of active listening.

The Benefits of Active Listening

The ability to listen attentively and process information can have a significant influence on interpersonal bonds. You may show your spouse how much you value their opinion and the commitment you have to the relationship by listening attentively to what they have to say.

Finally, it's important to note that communication is a cornerstone of successful, loving partnerships. Communication is crucial for developing and maintaining healthy relationships , whether it is via problem-solving, venting, or just listening. Your relationship may grow stronger and become more rewarding and loving if you put an emphasis on communicating well with one another.

Final Words

Love is a complicated and varied theme that has inspired numerous works of art, literature, and music. Whether it is the science of Love, the power of Love, or the development of Love, there is a great deal to learn and comprehend about this universal feeling. 

Students now have access to a potent tool that may assist them in writing essays about Love with ease and assurance thanks to Jenni.ai. From giving ideas and recommendations to leading you through the writing process, Jenni.ai is the ideal option for anyone who wants to write about Love and relationships. Why then wait? Sign up for a free trial of Jenni.ai today and explore its numerous writing perks!

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Books About Love: 14 Nonfiction Titles for Every Romance

Stacey Megally

Stacey Megally is a writer, runner, and incurable bookworm. Her writing has been featured in The Dallas Morning News, Running Room Magazine, The Bookwoman, and on stage at LitNight Dallas and the Oral Fixation live storytelling show. When she isn’t knee-deep in words or marathon training, she’s hanging out with her smart, funny husband and their two extremely opinionated dogs. Instagram: @staceymegallywrites

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The 14th of February. Can’t wait? Dreading it? Couldn’t care less? However you’re feeling about Valentine’s Day, and no matter your romantic status, you’ll find something that resonates with you in one of these 14 nonfiction books about love and relationships.

Love, of course, is complex — as is our drive to understand it — so it’s no wonder there are so many books about love and relationships out there. Whether you’re looking for a fresh perspective on love itself, searching for anecdotes that will help strengthen your marriage, or hoping to be inspired with real talk about the dating scene, this list contains a variety of titles by a diverse group of authors guaranteed to give you plenty to mull long after Valentine’s Day has come and gone.

Books About Love For Any Stage of Life

Whether you’re newly in love or celebrating a milestone anniversary, it’s never a bad idea to deepen your understanding of your romantic relationship — and that’s just what these books about love are designed to help you do.

Let’s start with a few books that dig deeper into what love really is:

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The Mathematics of Love: Patterns, Proofs, and the Search for the Ultimate Equation by Hannah Fry

Love can be mysterious — and messy. Readers who are ready to view dating, marriage, and sex through a more analytical lens will appreciate Dr. Hannah Fry’s mathematical approach. From identifying the patterns that appear behind common love rituals to applying a formula to calculate the chance of finding lasting love in a singles bar, Fry offers strategies and explanations to help readers navigate the complicated journey of love and romance. 

From math to art:

The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh

Feeling inspired to dig deep into your emotions and relate to your loved ones with absolute authenticity? It’s not easy to think beyond the frustrations and misunderstandings that love inevitably provokes, but Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh offers practical advice alongside examples from his work with couples and families to help readers learn the communication skills that can significantly impact their relationships and their happiness.

Here’s another philosophical take on love:

All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks

In this book, scholar and feminist bell hooks takes a deep dive into the concept of love itself. After examining her own search for connection, she challenges readers to set aside the notion that ideal love is all about romance, sex, and desire and offers them a new way to think about love: by focusing on compassion, unity, and forgiveness. It’s a love, she hopes, with the potential to heal both individuals and society as a whole.

And a more unconventional philosophical take:

What Love Is: And What it Could Be by Carrie Jenkins 

For readers who are prepared to totally rethink love, these anecdotes and cultural and scientific reflections will provide plenty of inspiration. Jenkins examines the social and physical factors of love, the recent increase in acceptance of homosexual, interracial, and non-monogamous relationships, and her own motivations when it comes to connection. The author invites readers to accept the complexities and decide for themselves what it means when they say “I love you” to someone else. 

Now that we’ve explored books around defining love, let’s move on to a book that defines love’s companion, sex.

What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex by Hilda Hutcherson, M.D.

After years of advising patients in her OB-GYN practice, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson figured there must be a lot of women out there who had the same questions — so she wrote a book to give them the answers. Her engaging, honest talk about everything from anatomy and orgasms to aphrodisiacs and birth control isn’t just informative for women. According to multiple reader reviews, men find her book just as helpful in understanding how to tackle sexual challenges as well as how to achieve pleasurable experiences. And there’s even a chapter designed to help mothers talk to their daughters honestly about sex and sexuality.

And now for some practical advice about strengthening relationships, whether you need it now or you want to arm yourself with knowledge for the future:

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson, EdD

This book about love is penned by an experienced clinical psychologist and creator of a practice called Emotionally Focused Therapy. Dr. Sue Johnson believes that solid relationships are built on preserving the attachment bond. She guides couples through seven conversations that will help them recognize key moments that stand in the way of maintaining a safe emotional connection. Her practical exercises are supplemented with case studies from her practice and designed to help couples nurture lifelong relationships.

For another angle on love as attachment:

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A.

Ever wonder why some people seem to have a harder time than others when it comes to navigating relationships? These authors — one a psychiatrist, the other a neuroscientist — suggest it might have to do with a person’s attachment style: anxious, avoidant, or secure. This book is designed to help readers figure out which attachment style they follow and which one their mate — or potential mate — follows. Then, readers can explore methods and guidelines to help them build strong relationships that will fulfill both partners.

Speaking of identifying your personality tendencies, when it comes to books about love, it would be hard to leave out this perennial New York Times bestseller:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman

“What’s your love language?” You’ve probably been asked that question more than a few times in recent years — and this is the book about love that started it all. The concept behind love languages is that understanding how you and your partner express and receive love through words and actions will help you build a rewarding relationship by better interpreting each other’s romantic intentions. The latest edition has been updated with insights and advice that address the complexities of modern relationships.

Books About Love For the Dating Scene

Dating. Just the word evokes so many emotions, from excitement and anticipation to heartbreak and exhaustion. No matter how you feel about it, these books might offer just the insights and advice you need at the moment. 

First, a practical guide to modern dating:

It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love by Paul Carrick Brunson

This is an author whose mission is to help readers navigate online dating, offline interactions, and of course the phrase “it’s complicated.” Brunson doesn’t shy away from answering questions every dating person ponders, from the best way to ask someone out to dating more than one person without hurting anybody’s feelings to whether marriage is right for everyone. Full of conversational insights, probing questions, and real-life examples, this book about love is designed to leave readers feeling prepared and, more importantly, optimistic about the journey ahead.

For those times when you need a little emotional empowerment during your search for love:

How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate by Jennifer Taitz, Psy. D., A.B.P.P.

Single readers who are exhausted from ghosting, overanalyzing texts, keeping up with dating apps, and dodging the dreaded question “Why are you still single?” will welcome this title from psychologist Jennifer Taitz. The author draws on her professional experience, recent scientific research, and patient interviews to not only explain to readers why being single doesn’t make them inferior, but also give them dating advice and help them develop happy, healthy mindsets — single or not.

Of course, we can’t talk about love without addressing the universal experience of heartbreak:

How to Fix a Broken Heart by Guy Winch

Psychologist Guy Winch asks readers to pay the same respect to a broken heart as they would to a broken arm. Winch turns to research and scientific studies to explain how and why brokenheartedness impacts brains and behavior. Romantic heartbreak, he suggests, is just as painful as the loss of a close family member, but isn’t deemed as significant, so doesn’t get as much attention. Winch invites readers to give themselves permission to treat it seriously and also offers methods to cope with, heal, and eventually move on from a broken heart.

Books About Love For Married Life

Just like dating, marriage comes with its own unique gifts and challenges. These books about love address the specific ups and downs that couples may face during marriage.

We’ll start with a book that approaches the realities of marriage with unflinching honesty:

Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give by Ada Calhoun

Through a collection of personal essays, Ada Calhoun candidly explores the realities of her own marriage. Calhoun confirms that marriage is not a cliche about living in eternal harmony, nor is it an outdated idea doomed to end in divorce. Her essays open up discussions of infidelity, anxiety, boredom, and all the other challenges of staying with another person for a lifetime. And yet, at the end of the day, Calhoun describes marriage as something filled not only with love, but also hope and warmth: “What a burden,” she writes, “and what a gift.”

For readers whose realities might involve the end of a marriage, this next author gives the scoop on the divorce process, but also holds out hope that her book about love might help save a marriage or two:

woulda. coulda. shoulda.: A divorce coach’s guide to staying married by Jennifer Hurvitz

Hurvitz wrote this book specifically for couples who are contemplating separation or divorce. The author, who is both divorced and also a divorce coach, tells readers she finally figured out how to work toward a lasting marriage — but only after hers was over. Hurvitz gives a frank perspective of what it’s like to go through the divorce process and what the other side really looks like, while offering important considerations to take into account before making a decision that can’t be undone.

What better way to end than with a book about love that celebrates the best parts of marriage with stories from all over the world:

Happy Wives Club: One Woman’s Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage by Fawn Weaver

From Mauritus to Manila to Zagreb and more cities around the world, these are the stories of women who are deeply in love and committed to building strong marriages. Fawn Weaver, a happy wife, was determined to spread a more positive message about marriage amidst the increasingly negative portrayals she’d been seeing in the media. In order to learn the secret of a happy marriage, Weaver traveled across the globe to meet with women who shared her optimistic view. Through their stories, she invites readers to be inspired by the proof that happy, healthy marriages exist and can be experienced by everyone.

Valentine’s Day will be gone before you know it — and so will the chocolate, cards, and flowers. But all the stories, insights, and challenges that you’ll find in these books about love will stay with you like a lifelong partner. What book will you fall in love with this year?

And a little Valentine’s Day gift from us: more books about love in all genres. Enjoy!

30 Books About Love for the Perfect Bibliophilic Valentine’s Day

15 of the Best Marriage Books About Its Joys and Complexities

4 Great Books About Relationships

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8 Romance Novels I Read In 2024 That Bewitched Me, Body And Soul

These eight romance novels will make you swoon and warm you up after the long, cold winter.

BuzzFeed Staff

Is there anything better in the world than getting cozy with a steamy drink and an even steamier book? No, I really don't think so — which is why I've read over 60 romance novels in 2024 (so far).

If you're looking for a book to warm you up after a long, cold winter, here are my eight favorite romance novels i've read this year:, 1. the catch by amy lea.

The Catch  is an adorable small town romance reminiscent of While You Were Sleeping . Fashion influencer Melanie "Mel" Karlsen travels to a spa on Canada's east coast for a sponsored influencer trip, but a booking mixup forces her to book a room at a B & B in a remote fishing village.

She and Evan Whaler, a broody lobster fisherman and partial owner of the B & B, get off on the wrong foot, and things only get worse when Mel accidentally causes a boating accident that puts Evan in the hospital. While he's unconscious, Evan's family mistakes Mel for Evan's fiancée, and the pair are forced to fake their relationship in a desperate attempt to reunite Evan's fractured family.

Mel and Evan's love story will  reel  you in, and it's the perfect way to end Amy Lea's The Influencer series.

Buy it on Bookshop!

2. Midnight Ruin by Katee Robert

Katee Robert's Dark Olympus series is like if  Scandal  was set on Mt. Olympus. It is dramatic, highly addictive, and occasionally ridiculous in the absolute best way.  Midnight Ruin  is the sixth book in the series and follows the love story between Eurydice, her bodyguard Charon, and her ex-boyfriend Orpheus who deeply betrayed her and almost got her killed. As the climate of Olympus becomes even more dangerous than usual in the face of outside threats, sparks have been flying left and right between Eurydice and Charon.

The pair finally get together after months of sexual tension, but Charon realizes that Eurydice is still hung up on her ex. He meets with Orpheus and helps the pair reunite, although Orpheus still needs to make amends for his horrible betrayal...which manifests as puppy play in the trio's sex life. But even though Eurydice's heart is no longer in danger, that doesn't mean she's not at physical risk.

If you're addicted to romance and drama, you'll positively devour Midnight Ruin .

3. All Rhodes Lead Here by Mariana Zapata

If you're a fan of slow burn, small town, single dad, grumpy sunshine love stories, then you will positively devour All Rhodes Lead Here . The story follows Aurora "Ora" De La Torre as she leaves her job and famous ex-boyfriend behind and moves back to the Colorado town she once called home with her late mother. She rents a small apartment on the property of Tobias Rhodes, a grumpy single father who definitely didn't realize his teen son, Amos, rented out the apartment — and he nearly throws Ora out over the mix-up.

Rhodes keeps his distance as Ora slowly builds a life in their town, but he's forced to be more welcoming after Ora helps Amos during a health emergency. With every interaction, their chemistry deepens, sparks fly, and it becomes clear that the home Ora builds with Rhodes is what she was searching for all along.

All Rhodes Lead Here  might just be Mariana Zapata's best book, which is seriously impressive considering how beloved her romance novels are. 

4. Till There Was You by Lindsay Hameroff

Readers are in for a treat (pun intended) because Lindsay Hameroff's debut novel is just as sweet as it is hilarious. The book follows Lexi Berman, who desperately wants to become a chef in a Michelin-star restaurant, and Jake Taylor, a dive bar musician. They hook up one night, Jake moves to LA, and he quickly rises to celebrity status after one of his songs climbs the charts. The catch (because you just KNOW there's a catch) is that Jake's song is probably, almost certainly, definitely about Lexi's blueberry pancakes.

Till There Was You has everything you could want in a rom-com : a great meet-cute, stakes that are equally serious and silly, and laugh out loud hijinks. Hameroff's background as a humorist shines through every page with belly laughs abound, and Lexi and Jake's relationship will have you smiling like a fool in love.

5. Last Call at the Local by Sarah Grunder Ruiz

I can honestly say that Last Call at the Local  includes one of the most realistic portrayals of ADHD and OCD that I've ever read in fiction. This book takes place in a small Ireland town where American musician Raine Hart finds herself stranded after her belongings are stolen. She wanders into a struggling bar, The Local, and impresses owner Jack Dunne with her vision of how to improve the bar's appearance and finances.

This book is so funny, and the romance is so sweet and loving. Every emotional beat feels true to the story and characters, and the eventual happily ever after is so incredibly earned. Sarah Grunder Ruiz's storytelling is realistic and heartwarming — you'll feel like a regular at The Local until the very last page.

6. The Exception to the Rule by Christina Lauren

This is the first novella in the Improbable Meet-Cute collection. Each story in the six-book series tells the story of how a different couple met on Valentine's Day .  The Exception to the Rule  is not just the best story in the series — it's one of the best romances of 2024. The book takes place over roughly a decade, starting when Callum accidentally emails Terra over their school district's email system. They briefly exchange some friendly banter, but they don't share their names or any identifying information about themselves. One year later, they resume the correspondence on Valentine's Day, and the tradition continues every year. Eventually, they move away to college and grad school, and they slowly reveal more information about themselves, until Callum discovers Terra's identity and realizes he knows her in the real world.

The Exception to the Rule  is like a modern retelling of You've Got Mail , minus the part where Tom Hanks's character puts Meg Ryan's out of business. This book is genuinely one of the cutest romances you'll read this year.

Available on Kindle Unlimited and Audible .

7. Worst Wingman Ever by Abby Jimenez

Worst Wingman Ever  is the second book in the Improbable Meet-Cute collection and easily the best romance Abby Jimenez has written. It follows Holly, a hospice nurse whose latest patient is her own grandmother. As she leaves her grandma's apartment on Valentine's Day, she finds a love letter (and coupon for a sexual favor) on her car that was clearly  meant for someone else. The next day, she receives a note from John, explaining that John was supposed to deliver the card for his brother, but he mixed up his brother's girlfriend's car with Holly's. The pair start to leave notes and gifts for one another, and they each realize they might be falling in love with someone they've never met.

8. Trouble by Lex Croucher

If you love Regency-era romances, defiant feminist heroines, or  The Sound of Music , then  Trouble  is the perfect book for you. The story follows Emily Laurence, who fills in for her sickly sister, Amy, as the new governess at Fairmont House. The only problem is that Emily hates children and doesn't have any governess experience...and she's pretending to be Amy.

Emily immediately butts heads with Captain Edwards and his two troublesome children, but she slowly falls for the Captain despite her best efforts. But Fairmont House is full of secrets, nobody knows that "Amy" is really Emily, and a nefarious naval officer threatens to expose Captain Edwards's bisexuality, which could cost him his life.

If you're anything like me, you'll absolutely devour Trouble  in a single afternoon. The action is explosive, the sexual tension is unparalleled, and the happily ever after is incredibly well-earned.

Make sure you check out the best romance novels of 2023 !

What are your favorite romance novels of the year so far share them in the comments 📚💘, share this article.

Hot Stuff: The 8 best romance novels of Winter 2024

EW rounds up 8 of our favorite romance reads from January and February.

Temperatures are finally beginning to rise, but if you've been staying cozy this winter, chances are you could also use a book to keep you warm.

EW has eight new romance titles that have metaphorically kept our fires burning through January and February. Read more below.

Never Blow a Kiss by Lindsay Lovise

If you’re looking to kickstart your romance year with a little bit of intrigue and adventure, look no further than Never Blow a Kiss by Lindsay Lovise. Lovise crafts a yarn that is equal parts historical mystery and scintillating romance. Emily Leverton is determined to leave her dark past in the shadows when she embarks on a new life as a governess in the employ of a mysterious woman who pays her to spy on the ton. When Emily’s job puts her in the path of railroad magnate and police detective Zach Denholm, sparks fly. But she can’t risk exposing him to ruin if her past is ever discovered, making it difficult to navigate her mounting attraction. The two race against the clock to stop a Jack the Ripper-esque killer all the while circling their love for each other. Lovise writes with a spritely pen, her story bursting with cheek and humor while also remaining unrelenting in its twists and turns. It’s an extremely promising debut, one that blends the best hallmarks of each of its genres. If simply blowing a kiss stirs up this much excitement, we can’t wait to see what’s next.

Heat Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Don’t Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma R. Alban

My bookshelf and the work of Emma R. Alban will be an everlasting love. Alban debuts with this swoony sapphic romance about two young Victorian women who decide to Parent Trap their widowed parents instead of seeking matches for themselves (and end up falling in love along the way). Beth Demeroven has one season to land an eligible bachelor and avoid the certain destitution that threatens her and her mother. But when she meets Gwen Havenfort, the daughter of a rakish earl who enjoys carousing and causing trouble as much as her father, it turns her plans (and her world) upside down. Alban writes with a energetic voice, impish and playful in tone, capturing the youthful exuberance of her heroines. But she also understands the sublime heartbreak of romantic angst, which appears in equal measure here. While Gwen is brash and impulsive, Beth is more reserved and thoughtful, and Alban captures each of their voices with twinkling, distinctive cadences. Don’t Want You Like a Best Friend is as divinely fun and romantic as a Nancy Meyers film trussed up with plenty of petticoats, hoop skirts, and lace.

Say You’ll Be Mine by Naina Kumar

Naina Kumar turns the arranged marriage plot on its head with her debut novel. When Meghna Raman agrees to meet a potential marriage suitor selected by her parents, she doesn’t expect to find an answer to her problems. But Karthik Murphy is no more interested in getting married than she is, and that’s how the two agree to pretend to be engaged to assuage their parents and ensure Meghna has a date to her best friend’s wedding (a guy she still carries a torch for, naturally). But as the two spend time together, they become increasingly protective of each other’s hopes and dreams, falling for the other’s quirks and unable to deny their chemistry. Until their own insecurities threaten to ruin the one thing they never planned on being real. Kumar writes with equal amounts of heart and humor, capturing the keen pain of Karthik’s home life and Meghna’s yearning for love and approval from everyone in her life. From Karthik’s backstage visit to watch Meghna’s school play to an unexpectedly sexy bachelor party outing, the book bursts with swoony set-ups that are classic rom-com catnip. Kumar is a sparkling new voice in the romance stratosphere, blending the cultural specificity of her own lived experience with her own unique spin on beloved romance tropes. Say You’ll Be Mine is a heartfelt examination of  Karthik and Meghna’s complicated relationship with their cultural identity and their parents. With poignancy, humor and heart, it unpacks the ways in which personal and external expectations can derail our best intentions and champions the courage and growth true love really requires.

Heat Rating: 🔥🔥🔥

Girl Abroad by Elle Kennedy

If you’re looking for an author who captures the frothy chick lit vibes of the aughts, then look no further than Elle Kennedy. Her new adult novel, Girl Abroad, follows Abbey Bly, the daughter of a rock star, as she embarks on a year abroad in London. When Abbey arrives, she’s startled to discover that the three roommates — Lee, Jamie, and Jackie — she assumed were women are actually men. But Abbey can’t give up her chance to escape her father’s overprotectiveness, so she decides to stay. Things quickly go haywire when she finds herself in a love triangle between her beefy rugby player roommate, Jack, and broody musician, Nate. Both men are exceedingly different — while Nate makes her feel adventurous and carefree, Jack is solid and comforting. As Abbey waffles between the two guys, she also dives into a research project about a love triangle between a maid and two aristocratic brothers in post-war England. Her search for answers leads her to question the vagaries of her own heart, as she tries to understand whether wild spontaneity or a more domestic life is what she craves. Kennedy’s prose sparkles, making it challenging to put the book down. She perfectly balances the gripping historical mystery with the romantic intrigue. Abbey’s confusion as she attempts to navigate her first adult romances rings true. It’s all trussed up in the delectable package of Anglophilia, with its odes to shadowy libraries, pub trips, endless cups of tea, and the pedestrian ease of navigating London. For any girl (like me) who dreamed of studying abroad and falling headlong into a romance with a hunky Brit (or Commonwealth citizen), Girl Abroad will make you swoon. It’s impossible to keep calm and carry on while falling head over heels for this book.

Girls With Bad Reputation by Xio Axelrod

Xio Axelrod returns to the world of all-female rock band The Lillys, this time turning her attention to drummer Kayla Whitman. Following the death of her brother as a teenager, Kayla has looked for a way out from under the suffocating expectations of her mother. Drumming with The Lillys has proved a godsend, but she’s determined to keep her life as an up-and-coming rock star a secret from her parents. But as their fame rises, that’s becoming increasingly difficult. She finds peace with quiet, reflective tour bus driver, Ty Baldwin, who is also nursing a secret from his past — the impact of a false accusation that destroyed his dreams of pursuing a college degree. The two form a steady bond, taking comfort in their mutual love of literature, their complicated histories, and the easy trust that springs up between them. Axelrod writes compellingly of the touring musicians’ lifestyle, from the challenges of hooking up on a tour bus to the grueling schedule and the absurd queries at press junkets. Girls With Bad Reputations is a tale of how to reinvent yourself while still honoring your past, speaking to the ways in which our histories can inform us without defining us. Ty and Kayla’s bond is steady but solid, and it’s a slow burn that feels refreshingly cast against the world of sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll. Kayla must also wrestle with toxic parental patterns and the ways that she can free herself from the weight of her mother’s expectations while still maintaining a relationship with her family. Axelrod expertly threads that needle, crafting a scene of reconciliation without letting anyone off the hook. Girls With Bad Reputations is a quiet little song of a book.

A Love Song for Ricki Wilde by Tia Williams

A Love Song for Ricki Wilde is more a piece of women’s fiction with a love story at its center than it is a romance novel, but it’s so lushly romantic with a capital “R” that it’s earned its spot in this column. Ricki Wilde has never fit in with her work-obsessed Atlanta family, so she jumps at the opportunity to pursue her dream of opening up a flower shop in the bottom floor of a Harlem brownstone. But when Ricki meets a handsome stranger one night, it throws her world wildly off-kilter. Because the stranger, Ezra Walker, is a Perennial, a man who has remained 28-years-old since the night he was cursed in the 1920s. His curse brings potentially horrific consequences for Ricki but the two can’t help but fall for each other. Williams paints the story of Ezra’s life, from his days as a jazz pianist during the Harlem Renaissance to his decades of loneliness to the life-renewing pull of Ricki. Ricki’s story is a familiar one, a family black sheep who has let her family chip at her confidence for far too long. Williams’ writing style, particularly in Ricki’s inner monologue, can veer to the simplistic — for a woman obsessed with poetry and history, Ricki’s thoughts don’t carry the poignancy or lyricism one might expect. Williams writing is glib where it should be expressive, plain where it should be flowery (or at least have a few flourishes). Passages that should be romantic are composed to be matter-of-fact, and on the whole, Ricki’s voice feels underdeveloped. Thankfully, Ezra’s story and voice is a vividly painted counter to that. As is the tale of Ms. Della, Ricki’s elderly upstairs neighbor whose cheek and vibrancy make her a standout character. These strengths make Ezra and Ricki’s love story a swoon-worthy tale that transcends time and space, one that captures the vicissitudes of fate, the power of love, and the promise of finding one’s destiny.

To Woo and To Wed by Martha Waters

Martha Waters concludes her Regency Vows series with the long-awaited second chance romance of Sophie and West, To Woo and To Wed . Seven years prior, Sophie and West were all-but-betrothed when threats from his father and a horrible curricle accident split them apart. But now, the widowed Sophie needs West to feign an engagement with her in order to push her younger (also widowed) sister Alexandra into her own connubial bliss. But what starts as a charade quickly becomes all too real as the two cannot deny how much the old chemistry and feelings are still there right below the surface. Sophie and West have circled each other for four novels, but their love story is well worth the wait. Waters’ magically whimsical pen dots their romance with just the right amount of sentiment, the yearning oozing off the page. Whether readers have spent the last few years rooting for these characters or are new to Waters’ world, it’s impossible to read To Woo and To Wed with anything but an enormous grin on one’s face. The novel is a heartfelt testament to family, loyal friendships, and the hijinks of courtship. In some ways, this is Waters’ most emotional story because she’s been building to it for so long. The weight of the loss of the intervening years is potent, but it only makes the love story that much more enchanting. We wish this series didn’t have to end, but since it does, we couldn’t imagine a better happily-ever-after for Waters’ first series.

Canadian Boyfriend by Jenny Holiday

Jenny Holiday has long been a go-to for funny, feel-good romance and her latest has plenty of the hallmarks of her rom-coms, even if it can’t quite get the puck in the net. Aurora “Rory” Evans invented the titular fake boyfriend as a teenager after a run-in with a hunky hockey player at the mall. Over the years, he was an excuse and a lifeline. But things get messy when Mike Martin, the inspiration for her fake paramour, comes back into her life. Rory and Mike get close quickly, bonding over their love for his daughter, Olivia ,and finding connection as Mike recovers from the loss of his wife. Much of the novel is awash in trauma — Mike and Olivia’s grief and Aurora’s eating disorder and complicated relationship with her mother. Often that overshadows the sillier, more whimsical elements of Holiday’s plotting. It particularly makes it hard to buy into the central conflict — the fact that Aurora withholds the truth about her fictional Canadian boyfriend from Mike for so long. It feels trivial in light of the bigger issues the characters are facing, a rom-com conflict wedged in between monumental issues of real-life loss. As such, Canadian Boyfriend has a bit more emotional whiplash than Holiday’s tales usually do (not to mention some complicated power dynamics involving employment and monetary remuneration). But Holiday still remains a gifted spinner of yarns, and it’s impossible not to fall for Mike’s Canadian humility and unabashed love for his adopted daughter. 

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Related content:

• Enjoy an excerpt from Rebecca Serle's  Expiration Dates  as a Valentine's treat
• Smut is not a dirty word: Author Sarah J. Maas (and romantasy at large) deserves more respect
• Hot Stuff: The 10 best romance novels of 2023

Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly .

The Cowardice of Guernica

The literary magazine Guernica ’s decision to retract an essay about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict reveals much about how the war is hardening human sentiment.

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In the days after October 7, the writer and translator Joanna Chen spoke with a neighbor in Israel whose children were frightened by the constant sound of warplanes. “I tell them these are good booms,” the neighbor said to Chen with a grimace. “I understood the subtext,” Chen wrote later in an essay published in Guernica magazine on March 4, titled “From the Edges of a Broken World.” The booms were, of course, the Israeli army bombing Gaza, part of a campaign that has left at least 30,000 civilians and combatants dead so far.

The moment is just one observation in a much longer meditative piece of writing in which Chen weighs her principles—for years she has volunteered at a charity providing transportation for Palestinian children needing medical care, and works on Arabic and Hebrew translations to bridge cultural divides—against the more turbulent feelings of fear, inadequacy, and split allegiances that have cropped up for her after October 7, when 1,200 people were killed and 250 taken hostage in Hamas’s assault on Israel. But the conversation with the neighbor is a sharp, novelistic, and telling moment. The mother, aware of the perversity of recasting bombs killing children mere miles away as “good booms,” does so anyway because she is a mother, and her children are frightened. The act, at once callous and caring, will stay with me.

Not with the readers of Guernica , though. The magazine , once a prominent publication for fiction, poetry, and literary nonfiction, with a focus on global art and politics, quickly found itself imploding as its all-volunteer staff revolted over the essay. One of the magazine’s nonfiction editors posted on social media that she was leaving over Chen’s publication. “Parts of the essay felt particularly harmful and disorienting to read, such as the line where a person is quoted saying ‘I tell them these are good booms.’” Soon a poetry editor resigned as well, calling Chen’s essay a “horrific settler normalization essay”— settler here seeming to refer to all Israelis, because Chen does not live in the occupied territories. More staff members followed, including the senior nonfiction editor and one of the co-publishers (who criticized the essay as “a hand-wringing apologia for Zionism”). Amid this flurry of cascading outrage, on March 10 Guernica pulled the essay from its website, with the note: “ Guernica regrets having published this piece, and has retracted it. A more fulsome explanation will follow.” As of today, this explanation is still pending, and my request for comment from the editor in chief, Jina Moore Ngarambe, has gone unanswered.

Read: Beware the language that erases reality

Blowups at literary journals are not the most pressing news of the day, but the incident at Guernica reveals the extent to which elite American literary outlets may now be beholden to the narrowest polemical and moralistic approaches to literature. After the publication of Chen’s essay, a parade of mutual incomprehension occurred across social media, with pro-Palestine writers announcing what they declared to be the self-evident awfulness of the essay (publishing the essay made Guernica “a pillar of eugenicist white colonialism masquerading as goodness,” wrote one of the now-former editors), while reader after reader who came to it because of the controversy—an archived version can still be accessed—commented that they didn’t understand what was objectionable. One reader seemed to have mistakenly assumed that Guernica had pulled the essay in response to pressure from pro-Israel critics. “Oh buddy you can’t have your civilian population empathizing with the people you’re ethnically cleansing,” he wrote, with obvious sarcasm. When another reader pointed out that he had it backwards, he responded, “This chain of events is bizarre.”

Some people saw anti-Semitism in the decision. James Palmer, a deputy editor of Foreign Policy , noted how absurd it was to suggest that the author approved of the “good bombs” sentiment, and wrote that the outcry was “one step toward trying to exclude Jews from discourse altogether.” And it is hard not to see some anti-Semitism at play. One of the resigning editors claimed that the essay “includes random untrue fantasies about Hamas and centers the suffering of oppressors” (Chen briefly mentions the well-documented atrocities of October 7; caring for an Israeli family that lost a daughter, son-in-law, and nephew; and her worries about the fate of Palestinians she knows who have links to Israel).

Madhuri Sastry, one of the co-publishers, notes in her resignation post that she’d earlier successfully insisted on barring a previous essay of Chen’s from the magazine’s Voices on Palestine compilation. In that same compilation, Guernica chose to include an interview with Alice Walker, the author of a poem that asks “Are Goyim (us) meant to be slaves of Jews,” and who once recommended to readers of The New York Times a book that claims that “a small Jewish clique” helped plan the Russian Revolution, World Wars I and II, and “coldly calculated” the Holocaust. No one at Guernica publicly resigned over the magazine’s association with Walker.

However, to merely dismiss all of the critics out of hand as insane or intolerant or anti-Semitic would ironically run counter to the spirit of Chen’s essay itself. She writes of her desire to reach out to those on the other side of the conflict, people she’s worked with or known and who would be angered or horrified by some of the other experiences she relates in the essay, such as the conversation about the “good booms.” Given the realities of the conflict, she knows this attempt to connect is just a first step, and an often-frustrating one. Writing to a Palestinian she’d once worked with as a reporter, she laments her failure to come up with something meaningful to say: “I also felt stupid—this was war, and whether I liked it or not, Nuha and I were standing at opposite ends of the very bridge I hoped to cross. I had been naive … I was inadequate.” In another scene, she notes how even before October 7, when groups of Palestinians and Israelis joined together to share their stories, their goodwill failed “to straddle the chasm that divided us.”

Read: Why activism leads to so much bad writing

After the publication of Chen’s essay, one writer after another pulled their work from the magazine. One wrote, “I will not allow my work to be curated alongside settler angst,” while another, the Texas-based Palestinian American poet Fady Joudah, wrote that Chen’s essay “is humiliating to Palestinians in any time let alone during a genocide. An essay as if a dispatch from a colonial century ago. Oh how good you are to the natives.” I find it hard to read the essay that way, but it would be a mistake, as Chen herself suggests, to ignore such sentiments. For those who more naturally sympathize with the Israeli mother than the Gazan hiding from the bombs, these responses exist across that chasm Chen describes, one that empathy alone is incapable of bridging.

That doesn’t mean empathy isn’t a start, though. Which is why the retraction of the article is more than an act of cowardice and a betrayal of a writer whose work the magazine shepherded to publication. It’s a betrayal of the task of literature, which cannot end wars but can help us see why people wage them, oppose them, or become complicit in them.

Empathy here does not justify or condemn. Empathy is just a tool. The writer needs it to accurately depict their subject; the peacemaker needs it to be able to trace the possibilities for negotiation; even the soldier needs it to understand his adversary. Before we act, we must see war’s human terrain in all its complexity, no matter how disorienting and painful that might be. Which means seeing Israelis as well as Palestinians—and not simply the mother comforting her children as the bombs fall and the essayist reaching out across the divide, but far harsher and more unsettling perspectives. Peace is not made between angels and demons but between human beings, and the real hell of life, as Jean Renoir once noted, is that everybody has their reasons. If your journal can’t publish work that deals with such messy realities, then your editors might as well resign, because you’ve turned your back on literature.

By the BOOK

Morgan Parker Says ‘Poetry Is Under Everything’ She Writes

Crafting the arguments in “You Get What You Pay For,” her first essay collection, “felt like pulling apart a long piece of taffy,” says the author of “Magical Negro.”

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What books are on your night stand?

The craft anthology “How We Do It,” edited by the great Jericho Brown, and Shayla Lawson’s astounding “How to Live Free in a Dangerous World.”

Describe your ideal reading experience (when, where, what, how).

Probably on the smoking patio of a wine bar at happy hour on a sunny day, with a pencil in my hand and Dorothy Ashby or Ambrose Akinmusire playing through noise-canceling headphones. Or just a quiet morning on my couch with coffee, so engrossed I forget to flip the record.

What’s the last book you read that made you laugh?

“Erasure,” by Percival Everett . I picked up a used copy at Shakespeare & Company recently — after seeing Cord Jefferson’s brilliant adaptation , “American Fiction” — and even on a reread, it made me laugh out loud from the first page.

The last book that made you cry?

Weird or obnoxious if I say my own? Before that, it was probably Y.A.

Do you count any books as guilty pleasures?

That category’s filled to the brim and beyond by reality TV.

How do you organize your books?

Loosely or not at all. This is much to the horror of my Virgo pals, and while I used to take pride in navigating my shelves on familiarity alone, it’s something I’ve vowed to work on. Still, I doubt I’ll ever be an alphabetical type, and clearly I find genre segregation constricting. I do group things thematically, or even interpersonally — music biographies, Black Panthers, Harlem Renaissance; Jessica Hopper is next to John Giorno, and Chase Berggrun’s “R E D” is next to “Dracula”; Julie Buntin’s “Marlena” is beside her husband Gabe Habash’s “Stephen Florida”; Alison C. Rollins is next to her partner Nate Marshall is next to his bestie José Olivarez. At some point Hilton Als’s “White Girls” ended up next to “Male Fantasies,” and I don’t think I’ll ever separate them.

Which genres do you avoid?

There’s an essay in “You Get What You Pay For” where I mention reading a self-help book (as recommended by my now-former psychiatrist). I’d never read one before and have not since.

How does your poetry relate to your essay writing?

The truth is that poetry is under everything. It’s the lyric and sensory backbone. It’s what drives the sound, pace and imagery. (Everyone knows the best prose writers write and read poetry.) But while a poem strives for precision of language, the essay strives for precision of thought, even argument. In a poem, you can build (or approximate) an argument by plopping two images next to each other. It persuades by pointing. Writing these essays felt like pulling apart a long piece of taffy — I found myself reiterating a lot of what I’ve already expressed in poems, so it almost became a project of stretching out each poetic line, breaking down each concept to its root. The process is about asking, pondering, searching — and letting language take part in the answering.

You have a knack for terrific book titles. How did you name your new collection?

Thank you! I love a good title, but I also acknowledge the high bar I have set for myself. With this one, I struggled a bit, I think because it took me a while to understand the book myself, let alone how to introduce it to the world. The essays encompass a lot of seemingly disparate themes and even tonal registers, so framing the overall collection was daunting. I’d been tossing around a couple of options, including “Cheaper Than Therapy,” which appears as an essay title, when Jay-Z made the choice for me. I was in Italy at a residency, grieving the recent loss of my aunt and watching the “Big Pimpin’” video over and over as I worked on an essay about it for the book. I’d left my heavily tabbed copy of “Decoded” at home in Los Angeles, but was scrolling a PDF for details about the video shoot when I came across the line: “If the price is life, then you better get what you paid for.”

You describe yourself as foolish for believing “words could be the pathway to empathy and writing an active resistance against hate.” Might publishing this book change your mind?

Honestly? It’s my only hope.

What’s the last book you recommended to a member of your family?

“Heavy,” by Kiese Laymon, to my mom; Blair LM Kelley’s “ Black Folk: The Roots of the Black Working Class,” to my dad; and “A Is for Activist,” to my 8-month-old cousin.

What do you plan to read next?

Phillip B. Williams’s “Ours” was just published, and I’ve been excited about it for literally years. Vinson Cunningham’s “Great Expectations” came out the same day as my book, so I plan to make that my tour read.

You’re organizing a literary dinner party. Which three writers, dead or alive, do you invite?

June Jordan, Zora Neale Hurston, James Baldwin — but I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t get just as much fun and fulfillment from a night with Angel Nafis, Danez Smith and Saeed Jones.

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James McBride’s novel sold a million copies, and he isn’t sure how he feels about that, as he considers the critical and commercial success  of “The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store.”

How did gender become a scary word? Judith Butler, the theorist who got us talking about the subject , has answers.

You never know what’s going to go wrong in these graphic novels, where Circus tigers, giant spiders, shifting borders and motherhood all threaten to end life as we know it .

When the author Tommy Orange received an impassioned email from a teacher in the Bronx, he dropped everything to visit the students  who inspired it.

Do you want to be a better reader?   Here’s some helpful advice to show you how to get the most out of your literary endeavor .

Each week, top authors and critics join the Book Review’s podcast to talk about the latest news in the literary world. Listen here .

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