essay on all my sons

‘All My Sons’ by Arthur Miller Essay

‘All My Sons’ was an Arthur Miller play written in 1947, based on a factual account which the writer’s at the time of mother-in-law outlined in an Ohio newspaper. This play is considered as the Arthur’s first marketable victorious play, which was released at the Coronet theatre in New York. Based on this, the play outlined how a woman informed on her father who had vended defective parts to the American armed forces during the World War II (Miller 6-56).

From this play, moral choices are portrayed by Dr. Jim Bayliss who was a neighborhood doctor. In this case, Jim portrays characters of a good person who usually believes in the responsibility of one man assisting another; but at the same time admitting to the accountability one has towards his family. From his character it can be seen that he is interested in helping people in terms of treatments but not because of money; which can be indicated by his lack of enthusiasm in worrying with a hypochondriac. Additionally, his liability can be seen from the instance where he left his wife for to attend medical research.

However, he ultimately went home since he put his duty to his family to the front of his responsibility to the society. In this case, Dr. Jim portrays his moral choice of responsibility both to his family and the society without the aim of material gain. Additionally, Dr. Jim showed his responsibilities by paying bills for the sick despite the fact that he shares Chris ideals (Miller 6-56).

On the other hand, Chris Keller is portrayed as a family man who is devoted to his parents. In this case it can be argued that he is painful with the achievement of his father’s commerce found during the war, when too many of his companions passed away senselessly. Further, he forwards his distress into romanticism and an approach of social consciousness that is strange to his family settings.

As a result of this, other characters supposed his idealism as cruel, requesting the sacrifices of others that he himself does not make as he thrives contentedly on his father’s dime. From this it can be argued that, Chris Keller’s moral choice is that he does not use others for his own gain and thus he is not happy with his father’s business success, while his friends had died senselessly. In this case, Chris is angry with the way men have been betraying their friends in the battle field and hence portrays the molar choice of not being selfish. Based on this it can be argued that, his hatred for egotism is depicted by his guiltiness in the act of making money out of a deal which is not significant to the men on whose labor it relies (Miller 6-56).

It can be argued that, Dr. Jim’s characters are appealing to the ethics of care theory and principle. In this case, the ethics of care is a moral theory developed by feminists where it highlights the significance of relationships. In this case it can be argued that, Dr. Jim was responsible both to his family and the society. From his characters it is well indicated that, he loved the Joe’s family despite the fact that he knew that Joe was guilty.

Based on this, because of his affiliation with the Keller’s family he attempted to save Joe from a conflict with George Deever. On the other hand, Dr. Jim appeals to the theory of ethics of care from his believe in the responsibility of one person to help another. Additionally, the principle of ethics of care is portrayed with his acknowledgements of ones responsibilities to his family. From this it can be argued that, Jim cares a lot about other people and takes the responsibility of helping them (Miller 6-56).

Additionally, Chris Keller’s characters are appealing to the theory of virtue ethics which stresses the character of the ethical agent, rather than the policies and outcomes. It can also be argued that, Chris is more devoted to his parents and feels guilty whenever he uses others for his own benefits. From this, Chris is not comfortable with his father’s business success; while his friends died senselessly during the war. On the other hand, Chris feels guilty for surviving the war while the others died during the war. Further, Chris believes that one should be directed by the noble principles and hence encourages Dr. Jim to further his research in medicine. It can be argued that, he hates selfishness and hence could not be pleased with the people who sell others out in the battle field (Miller 6-56).

It is of importance to note that, the theory of rational egotism is directly opposite to what Chris believed in. in this case, the theory of rational egotism states that an action is rational in the case that it maximizes one’s interests. Contrary to this, Chris does not believe in selfishness at the expense of others. This can be evident from the way he considers himself guilty for surviving the war while the others died. In another instance, when his father’s guiltiness was revealed; Chris had had him to prison because he did not believe in egotism. It is because Chris believed in moral agent and not selfishness; which made him encourages Dr. Jim to further his medical research studies (Miller 6-56).

On the other hand, Dr. Jim’s characters were against the principles of the theory of utilitarianism. In this case, this theory states that the ethical worth of an action is settled on exclusively by its usefulness in providing contentment and enjoyment as assumed among all conscious beings. In this case, Jim was responsible to his family and also to the whole society in terms of medicines but not for material gain. It can be argued that, Jim could pay hospital bills for the patients unable to pay them and at the same time he protected Joe because of his friendship with the Keller’s family. Based on this it can be seen that, whatever he did was not for material gain but because of his responsible nature (Miller 6-56).

From a personal perspective, Dr. Jim and Chris’s moral choices were right because they were not intending to benefit themselves at the cost of others. It can be argued that, Chris’ hatred for egotism was justifiable during the World War II since he cared for the others who did not survive the bullets. On the other hand, Jim’s acts of responsibility for his family and also the rest of the society showed senses of care and love.

For example in a real life situation, one should not be selfish to the extent that he uses other to get benefits; but should care for every one who they have a common goal with. Still on the same point, Jim portrayed the qualities of a good parent and neighbor in real life situation. When one has a problem he requires some one to help in solving the problem like Joe’s Problems and Jim’s help (Miller 6-56).

Miller, Arthur. “All My Sons”. New York: Dramatists Play Service Inc. (1999): P. 6-56.

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Essays on All My Sons

Choosing all my sons essay topics.

When it comes to selecting an essay topic for a literary work like Arthur Miller's All My Sons, it's important to choose a topic that not only interests you but also allows for in-depth analysis and discussion. The right topic can make your essay stand out, showcasing your understanding of the text and your critical thinking skills. In this guide, we'll discuss the importance of choosing the right topic, offer advice on how to select a topic, and provide a list of recommended essay topics across different categories.

The Importance of the Topic

The topic you choose for your essay on All My Sons can significantly impact the quality of your work. A well-selected topic will allow you to explore the themes, characters, and literary devices in the play, enabling you to make insightful observations and draw compelling s. Additionally, a strong topic can captivate your readers and demonstrate your ability to engage with the text on a deeper level. Therefore, it's essential to put thought and consideration into selecting a topic that will enable you to showcase your analytical skills and understanding of the play.

Choosing a Topic

When choosing a topic for your essay on All My Sons, consider the aspects of the play that intrigue you the most. This could be a particular character, theme, or literary device. Additionally, think about the significance of the topic within the context of the play and its relevance to broader social or historical issues. It's also important to select a topic that allows for critical analysis and interpretation, rather than simply summarizing the plot or events of the play. By choosing a topic that aligns with your interests and offers ample opportunities for exploration, you'll be able to produce a more engaging and insightful essay.

Recommended Essay Topics

Here are some recommended essay topics for All My Sons, divided into different categories to cater to a wide range of interests and analytical approaches:

Character Analysis

• Joe Keller as a Tragic Hero: Analyze Joe Keller's character and determine whether he fits the criteria of a tragic hero.
• Kate Keller's Guilt: Explore the theme of guilt in Kate Keller's character and how it shapes her actions and decisions throughout the play.
• Chris Keller's Transformation: Examine Chris Keller's character arc and the factors that contribute to his transformation over the course of the play.

Themes and Motifs

• The American Dream: Discuss how the theme of the American Dream is portrayed in All My Sons and its impact on the characters.
• The Weight of the Past: Analyze the motif of the past in the play and its influence on the characters' present actions and decisions.
• Family and Morality: Explore the theme of family and its intersection with morality in All My Sons.

Social and Historical Context

• Post-War America: Discuss the play's portrayal of post-war America and its implications for the characters and their actions.
• Business Ethics: Examine the ethical dilemmas surrounding Joe Keller's business practices and their broader societal implications.
• The Cost of War: Analyze how the play addresses the human cost of war and its effects on individuals and families.

Choosing the right essay topic for All My Sons is crucial to producing a thoughtful and compelling piece of writing. By considering your interests, the significance of the topic, and its potential for critical analysis, you can select a topic that will enable you to engage deeply with the play and demonstrate your understanding and insight. The recommended essay topics provided cover a wide range of themes and characters, offering ample opportunities for exploration and analysis to suit different interests and analytical approaches.

A Close Analysis of The Theme of Family, Society and Emotional Release in All My Sons

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Analysis of Joe Keller's Character in All My Sons

How larry is able to remain offstage but always present in all my sons, arthur miller’s depiction of the effect of deceit as illustrated in his play, all my sons, how kate represent the bad thing mothers go through in all my sons, let us write you an essay from scratch.

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How All My Sons Shows The Drama Created by Ordinary People and Why It is Important to Be Earnest

January 29, 1947

Arthur Miller

The Kellers' yard in late August 1946

Joe Keller, Kate Keller, Chris Keller, Ann Deever, George Deever, Dr. Jim Bayliss, Sue Bayliss, Frank Lubey, Bert, Larry Keller, Steve Deever, Lydia Lubey

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All My Sons

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All My Sons , a play in three acts, is set in a small town several years after World War Two, and begins with Jim Bayliss , a doctor, and Joe Keller , head of the Keller family, sitting in Keller’s backyard, reading the paper. A storm the previous night has shorn in half a tree that is revealed to memorialize Larry Keller , one of two Keller children—the son who did not survive the war. Chris , the other Keller son and a junior partner in the family manufacturing business, comes outside and tells his father, Joe, after Jim leaves, that the family cannot continue leading on Kate , Joe’s wife, in the belief that Larry is still living. Frank Lubey , another neighbor of the Keller’s (along with his wife Lydia Lubey ), is using astrology to determine if Larry is alive, and he brings this information to Kate later in the play, but for the most part, Chris believes that all in the town have come to the same conclusion: that, after three years, Larry will not be returning to the small town, that Larry’s plane crash in the war was fatal.

Chris also tells his father that Annie , Larry’s former girlfriend who is visiting the Keller’s from New York, is there because Chris intends to propose marriage to her. Joe has no real problem with the idea in itself, but Joe fears that Kate will not permit it, since Annie is “Larry’s girl,” and to give Annie to Chris would mean that Larry is really dead. Kate comes outside, as does Annie, and a series of strained conversations ensue, in which Chris attempts to demonstrate his affection for Annie, and Kate tries to emphasize that Larry is not dead and Annie is not “Chris’s girl.” Slowly, throughout the first act, it is revealed that Annie’s father, Steve , was a former employee of Joe’s at the manufacturing company during the war, and that Steve apparently OK’d the production of faulty plane parts, which were shipped to American planes, and which caused the death of 21 pilots in plane crashes. Steve went to jail for his negligence, but Joe was released, arguing in court that Steve acted alone, and that Joe did not force him to ship the defective parts.

Joe and Kate worry that Annie has come to stir up trouble in the Keller family regarding Joe’s guilt in the manufacturing affair, and this, too, complicates the possibility of Chris and Annie’s wedding. Chris also tells Annie that he has a hard time navigating the moral complexities of post-war life, and he relates a story from the war, in which a soldier gave him his last pair of dry socks , as an indication of the moral simplicity of battle.

George , Annie’s brother, calls long-distance, from Columbus, where Steve is imprisoned, saying he, too, is going to visit the Keller home that evening. Annie worries that George is coming with revelations about the Joe-Steve manufacturing affair, and Kate tells Joe to prepare himself for George’s questioning. George arrives, in a huff, and though Jim and Chris attempt to calm him, George accuses Joe of knowingly inducing Steve to “take the fall” for the manufacturing failures. George believes Steve’s story, that Joe himself told Steve over the phone to shellac over the defective parts. George believes that Joe feigned sickness that evening to keep from going into the plant, thus retaining distance from the events, which enabled Joe to place the blame entirely on Steve. Joe denies these accusations to George, who leaves the house, but as Annie runs after him, Joe announces to Chris, and in front of Kate, that in fact George’s story is true.

Chris is aghast, not just that this father produced the defective parts, but that Joe lied to put Steve in jail, and proceeded to make a fortune from the factory in the post-war boom. Chris feels complicit in his father’s immorality, and goes for a drive that evening, while Joe and Kate weep on the house’s back porch.

At the play’s end, it is two in the morning the following day, and Chris returns from his drive to find Annie, Joe, and Kate outside. Annie, who wants Kate to believe that Larry is truly dead so that she and Chris can be married, shows to Kate a letter Larry wrote her the day before his death, in which he said his plane would “go missing” in an act of suicide, out of the shame Larry feels for Joe’s and Steve’s guilt. Joe, who for a long time had comforted himself with the idea that he was not responsible for his own son’s death, realizes, when Chris reads the letter aloud, that he has not only killed 21 pilots—he has also killed, indirectly, his own son. Joe remarks that “all the soldiers . . . are his sons,” and goes upstairs, feigning that he will turn himself in to the small town’s jail. But a gunshot is heard; Joe has killed himself in the house, and though Chris tells his mother, outside, that he didn’t intend for this to happen, Kate tells Chris and Annie, calmly, to go far away and start a new family elsewhere, since the guilt that has ravaged the Keller family can bring them nothing but harm. The play ends.

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Essay Samples on All My Sons

The inescapable and irretrievable past in the play all my sons and novel the road.

Both McCarthy and Miller explore the significance of past actions that are evident in the present world. In ‘All My Sons’, it is Keller’s actions of allowing faulty engine parts to be used, resulting in the death of twenty one pilots, and ultimately Larry’s suicide....

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• Arthur Miller

Critique Of The Setting And Storytelling Of Arthur Miller's Play "All My Sons"

An intriguing modern tragicomedy yet unpredictability of motifs defines Howard Davies reproduction of All My Sons. Every factor involved in the development of the play correlated perfectly that the build of tension played my emotions along the lines of justice. Overall, I can confidently prove...

Atonement and All My Sons Comparing Analysis

The ways in which Miller and McEwan explore guilt and shame are very similar, with both texts set against the backdrop of the Second World War, although McEwan was writing years later in 2001. The majority of ‘Atonement’ is giving two accounts of the war,...

The Collapse of The American Dream in All My Sons by Arthur Miller

Arthur Miller was an American playwright who was well known for his captivating and emotional play, All My Sons, in 1947. In this play, the Keller family is known as a great example of the American dream. Overall, the family tries to hide the effects...

Best topics on All My Sons

1. The Inescapable And Irretrievable Past In The Play All My Sons And Novel The Road

2. Critique Of The Setting And Storytelling Of Arthur Miller’s Play “All My Sons”

3. Atonement and All My Sons Comparing Analysis

4. The Collapse of The American Dream in All My Sons by Arthur Miller

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All My Sons

by Arthur Miller

All my sons essay questions.

Several characters in the play believe in forces outside their control that influence the events of their lives. Kate turns to astronomy and God, while Keller argues that the pressures of business forced him to act as he did. Examine the role of personal agency in the play. For example, does Keller's suicide reflect a new acceptance of his misdeeds? Does he kill himself out of choice or mainly as a result of external pressures?

Keller argues that no one "worked for nothin' in that war," insisting that if he has to go to jail, then "half the Goddam country" is similarly culpable. Is this an indictment of capitalism or of the wartime mentality? Does he believe this argument, or is it mainly another attempt to deflect blame?

Did Kate (Mother) know that Larry was dead? Did Chris know that his father was guilty? How might the actors and director of the play keep these questions ambiguous or suggest that these facts were known all along? Did Miller possibly intend that the audience never know how much Kate and Chris had suspicions, or is the play better if the audience gradually learns that Kate and Chris knew the truth all along?

Which kinds of facts are better to face immediately, and which kinds are better to deny as long as possible? Consider personal, family, and social values. Use the play for possible anecdotal evidence.

The tone of much of the second and third acts is accusatory, with a strong emphasis on questions and questioning. How do the characters use questions to deflect blame? Or, how does Miller use questions to pace the dialogue and heighten the tension? What counts as evidence of the facts? (Consider the courtroom scenes in The Crucible for comparison.)

How does Miller introduce the past and show the effects of the past on the Kellers without employing flashbacks?

How does Miller manipulate information? The entirety of the first act is exposition, yet the audience is kept guessing and alert through Miller's careful pacing of the revelation of facts. How does our experience of the play change after we have seen it the first time and know all the history? Do successive iterations of reading or watching the play help us pick up on additional details of the themes and characters?

The common theatrical device of "the letter" provides a way for Larry to personally enter the play after his death. What else makes the letter work well in this particular play? Consider, for instance, Miller's careful manipulation of information throughout the play.

How does Miller characterize Larry, who never appears on stage but who is so fundamental to the events and the people? How can we reconcile or add together the various accounts of his character?

If the focus is on the Keller family, what is the point of including the Deever family as more than just a set of foils for the Kellers?

All My Sons Questions and Answers

The Question and Answer section for All My Sons is a great resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.

Why is Kate upset by her dream? All my sons

Kate won't accept her son died in the war. Kate recalls a dream she had about Larry, when she heard the wind, she imagined it was Larry flying by in his fighter plane. Kate turns to Joe and admonishes him for planting her son's memorial tree so...

Both Joe and Chris treat Kate with kid gloves, as she continues to grieve for her son, Larry, and continues to wait for his return.

When confessing his love for Ann, Chris tells his father that if he cannot accept their love and desire to marry,...

What was Larry's favourable drink?

I see no evidence of Larry's favorite drink being mentioned in the text. Act and scene?

Study Guide for All My Sons

All My Sons study guide contains a biography of Arthur Miller, quiz questions, major themes, characters, and a full summary and analysis.

• About All My Sons
• All My Sons Summary
• Character List

Essays for All My Sons

All My Sons literature essays are academic essays for citation. These papers were written primarily by students and provide critical analysis of All My Sons.

• Mother Knows Worst: Kate's Role in All My Sons
• The Ethical Breach of the Business Man
• Off-Stage but Ever-Present: Larry in All My Sons
• Ordinary People Create Drama: A Comparison of All My Sons and The Importance of Being Earnest
• Society, Family, Catharsis: Male Protagonists in ‘All My Sons’ and ‘The Cement Garden’

Lesson Plan for All My Sons

• About the Author
• Study Objectives
• Introduction to All My Sons
• Relationship to Other Books
• Bringing in Technology
• Notes to the Teacher
• Related Links
• All My Sons Bibliography

Wikipedia Entries for All My Sons

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NAT 5 Critical Essay: All My Sons - Arthur Miller (marked 19/20)

Subject: English

Age range: 14-16

Resource type: Assessment and revision

Last updated

9 September 2020

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This is a National 5 English A-grade critical essay which examines Arthur Miller’s play All My Sons in relation to the following question:

Choose a play in which the writer creates an interesting character. By referring to appropriate techniques, explain how the writer makes this character interesting.

This essay discusses the depiction of Joe Keller and the theme of self-interest versus social responsibility, and how this is presented through Keller’s characterisation within the play. Evidence from the play has been highlighted in light blue for easier use.

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Arts | police: 6-year-old boy killed in go-kart crash in meriden after striking swing gate, subscriber only, arts | hartford stage explores arthur miller’s great american tragedy ‘all my sons’.

Michael Gaston hasn’t had an easy month. He’s been rehearsing the emotionally wrenching role of Joe Keller in Arthur Miller’s “All My Sons,” which begins performances April 11 at Hartford Stage . He’s also been driving to the New York City borough of Queens right after rehearsals in Hartford to film his scenes for the new action-packed Marvel Cinematic Universe series “Daredevil: Born Again.”

Filming on “Daredevil” had been delayed by last year’s writer’s strike. The theater and the TV producers were able to negotiate a schedule in which Gaston could honor both obligations. Switching his mindset daily from a 1940s family tragedy to a superhero action adventure hasn’t been easy, but the pressure is worth it, he said.

When asked months ago by his agent if there were any parts he’d always wanted to play, the only one that he mentioned was Joe Keller in “All My Sons.” “Half a year later, I got a call,” Gaston said.

Melia Bensussen, who’s directing “All My Sons” for Hartford Stage, said she heard about Gaston’s desire to play Joe from a casting director she was working with. She had already been in discussions with film and stage star Marsha Mason about what she’d like to do next at Hartford Stage. Mason plays Joe’s wife Kate, a complex role in which she must balance grief, hope, love and willful denial.

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Joe Keller is just as complicated a character, a family man and successful businessman whose company was found to have manufactured defective airplane parts during World War II. His own son was a pilot who went missing during the war and is presumed dead. A close friend and work colleague of Joe’s, Steve Deever, has been imprisoned for selling the defective parts to the Air Force. Not only is Keller’s involvement in the crime greater than he has let on, the fallout from the incident has created rifts throughout the Keller and Deever families.

Gaston called the play “a monster. It’s about destructive forces at work. It explores the ethical issues of profiting off of war.”

Gaston hasn’t trod a Connecticut stage since the early 1990s, when he appeared in Miller’s adaptation of Henrik Ibsen’s “An Enemy of the People” in 1992, and in the national tour of Neil Simon’s “Lost in Yonkers” in 1993.

His TV and movie work is prodigious, with 126 acting credits listed on his IMDB page . Gaston appeared in episodes of some of the greatest and quirkiest TV series of the last few decades, from “The Adventures of Pete & Pete” to “Ally McBeal” to “The West Wing” to “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” Among his top experiences, he mentioned “The Leftovers,” “Mad Men” and that “I am still thrilled that I am the first guy they beat the shit out of on ‘The Sopranos.’”

Ben Katz, a New York-based actor who grew up in Massachusetts, plays Joe’s son Chris, an idealistic young war veteran whose devout respect for his father shifts drastically during the course of the play. He said staging “All My Sons” in the 21st century comes with special challenges, since it takes place “at a time when it was felt that the U.S. had saved democracy. The identity of honorable military service may have changed. It’s 1947, pre-James Dean.”

Chris gets some of the best lines in any Miller play, yelling at his father “Don’t you have a country? Don’t you live in the world?” Katz agreed that “this is one of the great American parts. The arguments are so well calibrated. It’s constructed really well. Every time Joe settles on a truth, Chris says something that unsettles him.”

At the same time, the situation that sets “All My Sons” in motion brings to mind the current headlines about the Boeing aircraft company and the ever-present economic realities of balancing profitability with safety and ethical concerns.

“All My Sons” also plays differently to different generations, Katz said. “Melia has tried to assert that it’s a different play for different ages. Chris can’t accept things you accept in later life.”

“All My Sons” is the second Miller play being done at a major regional theater in Connecticut this year, following Long Wharf’s waterfront staging of “A View from the Bridge” in February. Miller was a longtime Connecticut resident whose writing studio in Roxbury has been the subject of an historical preservation effort.

Gaston remembered meeting Miller on the set of the film version of the playwright’s witchcraft trial drama “The Crucible,” in which the actor played Marshal Herrick. “I have a lovely photo his wife took of me,” Gaston said.

Gaston, Katz and Bensussen describe the scenic design of Hartford Stage’s “All My Sons” (by Riw Rakkulchon, whose previous design for Hartford Stage was “The Mousetrap”) as “traditional” and “realistic.” “It’s very old school,” Gaston said. To Bensussen, “it looks like a realistic set, but it’s also basically an empty space. It’s like Greek theater, and a thrust stage lends itself to that.”

Bensussen, the artistic director of Hartford Stage since 2019, has regularly programmed work by great American playwrights, particularly those with Connecticut connections. She directed “Ah, Wilderness!” by Eugene O’Neill (who grew up in New London) in 2021 and put “Two Trains Running” by August Wilson (who worked on most of his plays at the O’Neill Center in Waterford and premiered many of them at the Yale Rep) on the schedule for next season.

“Whenever we do any play, we always ask ‘Why this play now?,’” she said. “With this one, it’s the theme of civic engagement. It’s about where responsibility lies, literally in our own backyard.”

She said few cuts had to be made in the nearly 80-year-old script, though a reference to “kissing booths” on Labor Day required some research and context.

“We did a reading to see if it worked and were stunned by how it grabs you and doesn’t let you go,” Bensussen said. “It’s got hope and aspiration at its core. It’s not a question of who wins an argument. The whole play gets elevated to a certain pitch, but does not get overwrought.

“It’s a high wire act,” Bensussen added. “We’re watching people wrestle with the great questions that plague us as humans.

“All My Sons” by Arthur Miller, directed by Melia Bensussen, runs April 11 through May 5 at Hartford Stage, 50 Church St., Hartford. Performances are Wednesdays and Thursdays at 7:30 p.m., Fridays at 8 p.m., Saturdays at 2 and 8 p.m. and Sundays at 2 p.m. There is no 2 p.m. performance on April 13, no performance on April 23 and a 2 p.m. matinee instead of an evening performance on May 1. $20-$100. hartfordstage.org/all-my-sons .

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Both my sons have ADHD. When I was diagnosed at 52, I learned to be more empathetic with them.

• I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2016, at the age of 52.
• My sons both have ADHD and my diagnosis was a relief for them. 
• I gained a new understanding of my childhood, which made me a better parent and advocate. 

The psychiatrist chuckled and said, "Let me get this straight. You were filling out an ADHD evaluation for your son, recognized traits in yourself, and then decided to go through the evaluation again for yourself, and you scored high enough you made an appointment to see me?" And then proceeded to tell me that yes, I had ADHD too.

It was true. My 6-year-old son was struggling: He couldn't concentrate , couldn't sit still, and was impulsive and reactive. In a meeting with his school, we agreed that an evaluation for ADHD made sense. I filled out a questionnaire of behaviors he exhibited. A couple of questions in I began recognizing the behaviors in myself.

I'd always been quick to react, could only concentrate on things I was interested in, and when pursuing those things, was prone to hyperfocus. I'd rather wrestle with an essay on the nature of man's soul than mop the floor.

Seeing his echoes of my behavior gave me a newfound empathy for him, as well as for my parents and the teachers, who were infuriated by the disconnect between my intelligence and the quality of my schoolwork.

I worked with my kid's school

We began to work with his school in the form of a 504 plan and later an Individualized Education Program . In meetings, as his teachers expressed frustrations, they would acknowledge a "lack of executive function" in one breath but, in the next, say "He chose not to complete the assignment."

What they were telling me, without telling me, was his ADHD was tolerable until he didn't do the thing they wanted him to do, and at that point, they decided that the kid who lacked executive function had just exercised it in a way that was deliberately uncooperative.

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They complained that he needed to speak up when he became overwhelmed. I countered that when he's overwhelmed , he shuts down, and he doesn't have enough self-awareness yet to know he's overwhelmed. I know this is true for a simple reason: It's what I did. He needs help recognizing he is overwhelmed and he doesn't know how to ask for help.

ADHD makes some things harder for me

Having lived with ADHD now for 60 years, I've come to some conclusions about this condition. The first is I don't see it as a disability, and calling it a handicap smears kids for being wired differently.

Sure, ADHD has given me some serious challenges when it comes to adulting. Don't ask me how I budget for groceries. And don't ask me to organize that pile on my desk or the one next to it.

But ADHD isn't all deficits.

I believe that what is called hyperfocus in people with ADHD is a flow state by another name. That's my superpower; I disappear into my favorite activities, like cycling or writing, but I can also find flow in activities as mundane as doing dishes.

I draw upon those lessons as I teach both of my sons how to capitalize on that superpower, as well as how to manage the limitations that come with ADHD. Another of our challenges is that people with ADHD struggle with developing healthy self-esteem . I steer them into activities where they find flow so they learn the satisfaction that comes with being good at something, of facing a challenge and finding out they can succeed.

I'm more empathetic than I was 20 years ago

Had I become a parent in my 20s or 30s, I'd have lacked the self-awareness necessary to recognize my past in my son's behavior. Worse, I didn't yet know myself well enough to understand that flow was my superpower and not — as the nuns at my Catholic school called it — daydreaming.

At my age, I better understand how important it is for my sons to meet compassionate adults who see them. I'm watchful for the teachers who will help them succeed as well as the ones who will be an impediment. That's another skill I hope to teach my boys: How to identify allies.

And that psychiatrist? He wrote me a prescription for Wellbutrin, an antidepressant that gives a person with ADHD the patience not to yell at their rambunctious kids.

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