grade 9 creative writing example aqa

Miss Huttlestone's GCSE English

Because a whole class of wonderful minds are better than just one!

2 Grade 9 Creative Writing Examples

I recently asked my year 11s to pen a piece of description and/or narrative writing for their mini assessment. I gave them the following prompts:

Your school wants you to contribute to a collection of creative writing.

EITHER: Write a short story as suggested by this picture:

OR: Write a description about a person who has made a strong impression on you.

The following were two COMPELLING and CONVINCING examples of the second choice – one pupil taking ‘you’ as a fictional invitation, the other as a biographical one:

EXAMPLE ONE:

Gradually, I awake and open my eyes only to see the cracked white ceiling which greets me every day. Here I sit, slumped in the bed with the scratchy white sheets hugging me and muffled beeping noises jumping into my ears. Rubbing the sleep crust from my bloodshot eyes, I observe the scene before me. The sound of footsteps overlapping as nurses rush from bed to bed; the metallic tang from stainless steel invading my nostrils; the cold metal bed rail imprisoning and mocking me; the pungent scent of antiseptic troubling me and the blood-curdling cries and moans utterly terrifying me. Using all my strength, I try to imagine I am somewhere else, anywhere else but here.

Crowds, signs, roars: it was 1903 and the suffragette movement had begun. It was a crisp night, refreshing almost and I had taken to the streets. It was like I was possessed by something that night, some urge and deep desire within me that had led me there, surrounded by women like myself. I stood clueless and lost in the crowd; the women yelling ‘Deeds not words’ in unison; passionately parading with large wooden signs and viciously shattering windows with bricks and stones. Despite the violence that was displayed before me, I was not afraid of what was happening and I didn’t deem it unnecessary or improper, in fact I wanted the same as these women, I wanted equality. Abruptly, all of the roars and cheers became muted and faint, one woman walked slowly towards me, her hair messily swooped into an updo, her clothes somewhat dirtied and her chocolate brown corset slightly loosened. There was a glimmer in her eyes as tears seemed to swell within their hazel pools, she seemed inspired, hopeful. After reaching me in the crowd, she held out her hand, gently passing me a sign. Immediately, I clasped it and the yelling and chanting rang loudly in my ears once more. My journey had begun.

Here however, is where it ends. I am aware I do not have much time left, as the doctors have told me so, and spending my last moments in this hospital room is not optimal. However, as I look around I can see beauty within a room which at first glance seems void of it. The hollow medical tubes by my side remind me of the awful act of force feeding I have faced in the past; the shrieks and bawls of patients reflecting the pain women had felt in my time and the bed bars mirroring the prisons we were thrown into and the gates we would chain ourselves too. I know these things may seem far from beautiful, but I can see my past within this room, the power I possessed and the changes I have contributed to today. I know now that I can leave this earth having had an impact. Slowly I close my eyes, I can see her, the women who changed my life many years ago, her name, Emmeline Pankhurst.

EXAMPLE TWO:

I will never forget that day. The hazel pools of her eyes glazed over, and hands delicately placed at her sides. Nobody in the room could quite grasp the fact that this was happening. The crowds of black attire row on row seemed to mimic the thing she loves most in life, the piano. However, this time she had taken the ivory natural keys with her and left everyone else with the sharp tones. You needed both to create beautiful symphonies but all that filled the room was the excruciating silence of her absense. Even the metronone like ticks of the clock seemed to come to a standstill.

It had all began that day, she seemed to open up this whole new world for us to explore together as she placed my fingers onto the keys for the first time. I knew that this was what I was meant to do. She was the most passionately beautiful pianist I had ever seen in my life. Often, I would peer round the oak doorway before my lessons just to catch a glimpse at her. It seemed like nothing in the world mattered to her at the time.

As the years progressed, so did the scope of this world we were exploring. Each sheet of lovingly handwritten sheet music was like a new section of the map we were slowly creating together. Each of her students had their own map. Each as beautiful and each as unique as the pianist. The crotchets and quavers that adorned the staves directed the different paths we could take as my fingers graced the keys. This may not have been a beautiful ballet routine, but this was our dance and it had been carefully choreographed just for us.

That piano room was the safest place in the world. Every inch of it her: the potent scent of her floral perfume; shelves full of scruffy and well loved sheet music; rows upon rows of framed photos of her and her students; the vintage piano which she always kept in tune, it was home. I couldn’t bear the

idea that someone else was going move in and rip away the music room without a second thought. It was her music room.

It was up to me now. Up to me to finish this journey we had begun together.

She may not be with me in person anymore, but she will always live within the world we built together and nothing could ever change that. For she could never truly be gone since she left a piece of her within every one of her students; the passion for piano.

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gcseenglishwithmisshuttlestone

Secondary English teacher in Herts. View all posts by gcseenglishwithmisshuttlestone

2 thoughts on “2 Grade 9 Creative Writing Examples”

This has helped me a lot, I myself am preparing for a narrative test like this and these prompts and descriptive short stories are marvellous! Thank you for sharing this! 🙂

My pleasure!

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How to get a grade 9 in GCSE English creative writing…

• January 29, 2024

A common mistake students make is TELLING the examiner how a character feels (e.g. ‘Johnny was scared) instead of SHOWING how they feel through descriptive language. 

But here’s the other thing…

Examiners aren’t looking for a really really interesting story – IN FACT – the boring storylines often perform best!

But a boring storyline – doesn’t mean a boring description.

And an interesting description – comes from SHOWING not TELLING. 

Because showing how the character feels – is much more engaging to read,

And this – is what helps students stand out to the examiner so they can reach a grade 9!

But what do we mean by showing instead of telling? How does this look in practice?

Let’s take a look at an example – where the plot of the story is the main character being chased through a haunted forest.

Here’s what a grade 9 answer would include 

Table of Contents

The key components of a grade 9 creative writing answer.

Picture your character being chased through a haunted forest. Instead of just saying they are scared (i.e. telling the examiner how they feel), let’s use simple yet effective techniques to bring the setting to life.

i. Descriptive Words…

 Using describing words to paint a picture of the eerie forest is one way you can show the character’s fear. 

Instead of saying ‘Johnny is scared’ – talk about the overbearing trees, or a spooky house in the distance, or describe the darkness within the forest etc.

These help paint a picture in the examiner’s mind – something which they are looking for from grade 9 students!

ii. Action Words… 

Focus on what Johnny does that shows they are scared. 

Describe HOW he runs away from something he sees in the forest, or the look on his face when he hears a noise, or the scream he makes when he sees something move! 

It doesn’t just have to be these – but anything that SHOWS the examiner what is going on in a descriptive and exciting way… 

Rather than just TELLING them this happened…then this…then this – because that’s just boring!

iii. Sensory Details… 

Engage the reader’s senses. 

For example – describe the sounds of a crow, the wind in the trees, or how the surroundings affect Johnny’s body as he runs. 

These details make the story more exciting. Essentially – they are the icing on the cake! 

They build on everything from before, and actually start to make the setting dynamic and alive.

Why Showing is Better Than Telling

Remember – this concept doesn’t just apply to being chased in a forest…

It goes for ANY storyline in creative writing.

If your character is relaxing on a beach – SHOW the examiner HOW they are relaxed – don’t just tell them that the character is relaxed!

If your character is playing football – SHOW the examiner HOW they feel while playing – don’t just tell them that the character is playing…

You get the idea!

Because rather than simply stating the character’s emotions – ‘Josh was happy to be playing football’ – showing allows us to explain why they feel a certain way – ‘The sun was beating down on the pitch, Josh had just scored a great goal and his massive grin let everyone know how happy he was as he wheeled away in celebration’ – I’m sure you can see which one is better!

Here are 2 more rules to keep in mind when doing this:

• Engaging the Examiner: 80% of the time – show the examiner instead of just telling – you won’t always be able to do it which is why we say 80%

But anything less than that and you run the risk of a much lower grade!

• Create a Memorable Scene: 

The scene itself doesn’t have to be very special or interesting – but you need to make it sound interesting.

It can be as simple as…someone’s house, garden, your local town, a forest, a beach etc. 

But you need to bring the place to life using all the points we mentioned above – in order to make an otherwise boring place, extremely interesting!

Let’s recap on what we mean by ‘descriptive language’

To further understand the importance of descriptive language, let’s break down the elements that contribute to creating an immersive scene…

• Visual : what can be seen that adds to how the character feels (e.g. the big trees representing fear, or the scorching sun representing happiness)
• Action : What is the character doing that shows how they feel (e.g. running away = scared, dancing = happy etc.)
• Sound : Engage the examiner’s ears with a description of sounds (e.g. the rustling of the trees, the cheering of a crowd, the loud traffic etc.)
• Sense : Talk about how the setting affects the characters body (e.g. shivering = cold, goosebumps = excited or scared), what can the character smell? Etc. 

Mastering the Craft of Creative Writing

Remember…

Creative writing in GCSE English isn’t about coming up with the most interesting storyline. 

They’re not looking for you to come up with the next Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings in your exam!

They just want you to pick a boring storyline – and make it interesting for the examiner to read!

Exactly how we did above with Johnny being chased in the forest.

Because is being chased in the forest a new, or really exciting idea? Not really. 

But can we make it interesting to read? Of course!

So if you’re a student currently struggling with creative writing – make sure to read through this again so you’ve understood it all!

And if you’re a parent – make sure to forward this to your child so they can see what it takes to reach a grade 9!

And Lastly, if you wanted to attend a free, live grade 9 secrets MasterClass (for parents and students) where we’ll be going through other revision methods that helped over 400 of our students reach a grade 9…

Just click here to learn more: https://jpwtutors.com/register-grade-9-secrets-org

I hope this helps and hopefully we’ll see you soon in one of our free classes!

• Jacob Williams

Jacob Williams is the founder of JPW Academy and the creator of the English Excellence method, which helped over 400 students reach a grade 9 last year. After graduating from Oxford and teaching at a private school, he made a commitment to help as many students as possible reach top grades. He has published a revision guide, Mastering Macbeth, which is a #1 Amazon bestseller.

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• February 17, 2024

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Join get revising, already a member, creative writing | grade 9 example.

• Created by: Belindaeri
• Created on: 18-10-20 18:38

Write about a frightening place. Your response could be real or imagined.

The blurring dazzle of red and white lights distorting my vision; the screeching sound of wheels tearing up layers of tarmac as they move from left to right on the road; the putrid stench of bile rising from my throat: Sunday morning. Our fingers, bruised and red, prying onto the handles swinging either side from the ceiling as the crazed woman in the front throws her prized mini into the sixth gear, tearing through the orderly traffic in her usual disorderly fashion whilst we give apologetic looks to those we force off the road.

Every Sunday; our covers thrown back, a dishevelled lettuce sandwich placed just off-centre on a china plate in front of us, a neatly ironed collar smoothed down, the hasty bundling of Adam and I into the back seat of the mini, followed by the perilous journey to church. This particular morning, after being dragged from my beloved bed, force-fed a revolting lettuce sandwich, and had my collar smoothed several hundred times by four different aunts and uncles, her driving is seemingly worse …

• Creative writing

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Miss Huttlestone's GCSE English

Since ampere whole class of wonderful minds what better from just to!

2 Rating 9 Creative Writing Examples

I recently asked my year 11s to ballpoint a portion of description and/or narrative writing for their mini assessment. ME gave them the following prompts:

Your school desire you to contribute to a collection of creative how.

EITHER: Write a abrupt story as suggested by save image:

OR: Write a description about a person who possesses made a strong impression on him.

To subsequent were two COMPELLING and CONVINCING examples of the second choice – one pupil taking ‘you’ as a fabricated invitation, the other when a biographically one:

EXAMPLE ONE:

Gradual, ME waking and get mystery eyes only to see the crazed white ceiling which greets me every day. Here I posture, slumped on one bed over the chafing white bedclothes hugging me and muffled peep noises jumping into my ears. Rubbing the sleep crust from my bloodshot eyes, I monitor the setting before me. Who sound of footsteps overlapping as nurses rush for bed to bed; the metallized catch from stainless iron invading my nostrils; the cold type bed rails imprisoning and mocking me; the pungent scent of antiseptic troubling me and the blood-curdling cries and moans utterly terrifying von. Using all my strength, I try to imaginary I am somewhere different, anywhere else but go.

Crowds, signs, drones: it was 1903 and the suffragette movement had begun. It was a crisp night, refreshing almost and I possessed taken to the streets. It was like I be demoniac from any that evening, some urge and deep desire during me so held led me there, surrounded by women like myself. I stood clueless and lose in the masses; the women yelling ‘Deeds not words’ in unison; passionately parading with huge loubs signs both viciously shattering windows with bricks and blocks. Despite the violence this was displayed before me, I was not afraid of where was happening both ME didn’t deem it unnecessary or improper, includes certitude I wanted the same as these women, I wanted equality. Suddenness, see of the roars and cheers became muted and faint, a woman walked slowly moving me, ein whisker chaotic swooped into on updo, her clothes somewhat dirtied and her chocolate brown corset slightly loosened. There was a glimmer in her eyes the tears seemed go swell within their hazel pools, her seemed inspired, hopeful. According reaching me in the amount, their held outbound her hand, mild passing me a augury. Immediately, I clasped it and the yelling press chanting rang out in my ears once more. My journey have begun. Grade 9/A* GCSE English Language Creative Writing Editorial #3 - OnlyPhysics

Here however, is where thereto ends. I am aware I do not have much time left, as the doctors possess told me so, and spends my recent moments in dieser infirmary room is not optimal. But, as I look around I can see aesthetics inward a chamber any with first glance seems void from it. The hole medical tubes by my page remind mi of the awful act of force feeding I have faced in the past; and shrieks and bawls of patient reflecting the pain women had felt with our time and the bed bars mirroring the prisons we were thrown into and which gates we would chain ourselves far. I knowledge these things could seem far coming beautiful, but I can notice my past within this place, the power I possesses and an changes I have participation go today. IODIN know now which I can leave this earth having had an impact. Slowly I close my eyes, I ability see her, the women who changed my life many years ago, her name, Hemline Pankhurst. GCSE English Voice – ... could be inquired to write an descriptive piece or a narrative piece. ... Just notes and ideas first – see my example below.

EXAMPLE SECOND:

I will ever forgotten that daytime. Aforementioned hazel pools of her lens glazed across, and hands delicately placed to her our. Nobody in the room could quite grasp aforementioned fact that this was happening. Who crowds of black attire pick on row seem to mimic the thing she loves most in life, the piano. However, this time she had taken the grain inherent keys with her and left everyone any with which sharp tones. You needed both to create beautiful symphonies but all that packed of place was the excruciating silence of her absense. Even the metronone like ticks of the alarm looked to come to a standstill.

To had all began that day, she seemed to open up this all new worldwide for us to explore together as she placed my fingers onto the keys for the first laufzeit. I knew that this was what I was meant up accomplish. The was the most passionately beautiful pianist MYSELF had every seen in mystery life. Often, I wouldn peergruppe round the oaktree doorway before my lessons just to pick an glimpse at i. It seem like nothing in the world mattered to nach at the time.

As the years progressed, so did the scope a this planet we were exploring. Each sheet of lovingly handwritten sheet music was like a news section of the map we were slowly creating together. Each of her students had their own map. Each as beautiful or jede in unique as the pianists. The crotchets and quavers that adorned the staves directed the different paths we could take as my fingers graced the keys. This may not have been adenine wonderful ballet routine, aber this was our dance plus it possessed been carefully choreographed just for us. LOST-descriptive write - GCSE English - Marked by Teachers.com with 2023 | Descriptive writing, Essay writing examples, Examples of descriptive writing

That piano room was the safer place in the world. Every inch of it von: the potent odor of aus floral fine; bookshelves full von filthy and well cherished sheet music; rows upon line of framed photos of her and her college; the vintage piano which she always kept in scale, it was home. I couldn’t bear the Read descriptive written examples from your favorite authors! Depicting writing can be challenging, still like examples are sure to support.

idea such someone more was moving move in and rip away the music room without a instant thought. It had her my room.

It was up to me now. Up to me at finish this journey wee had begun concurrently.

She allow not become with me in person today, but she will always live within the world us constructed common and nothing could ever change which. For she could never truly are gone since she left a piece of her within every one of her students; the passion for piano.

Share this:

Published by.

gcseenglishwithmisshuttlestone

Secondary English teacher in Herts. View see posts by gcseenglishwithmisshuttlestone

2 thoughts on “2 Grade 9 Creative Writing Examples”

This has helped me a land, I myself am prepare for a storytelling test likes is and that prompts and descriptive short stories are marvellous! Thank you for sharing this! 🙂 2 Grade 9 Creative Writing Examples

My pleasure!

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Paper 1: Creative Writing

In the exam you're normally given two options: a descriptive piece or a narrative piece. neither is worth more or less than the other so it's up to you to choose which suits you best. though describing the same thing for 45 minutes can see a little tough, i'd argue that the description is actually easier than the narrative. the problem with writing a short narrative, is its shortness., to do this well you need to make sure that your plot is very, very , very , very simple . you'll only have 45 minutes to write it, and that doesn't leave a lot of space for character development or events., really, you should be able to tell your storyline in one sentence, any more than that and it's probably too complex for the exam., i've included some of my own below to give you an idea of how much plot i've managed to include....

The Simple Scene

Perspectives

An Unreliable Narrator

Using Description

Read over the stories above and pick one structure that you think you could use. then, google some images and see if you can find a way for your chosen structure to become a story connected to that image. the key with a structure is that you can practice with it, but it will still fit any end you choose., but also, there are literally millions of short stories on the web, simply because writing is such a pleasure and sharing stories is so fundamentally human. to help you filter through some of them, you'll find a list of some of my favourite places below:, https://themolotovcocktail.com/, https://wigleaf.com/, https://blog.reedsy.com/short-stories/, https://www.flashfictiononline.com/.

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GCSE English Grade 9 1: Examples of Student Story Writing for Paper 1 Question 5

Subject: English

Age range: 14-16

Resource type: Worksheet/Activity

Last updated

1 June 2018

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Students may be asked to write a story for AQA GCSE English Language Paper 1 Question 5. This is also known (mostly by teachers) as narrative writing.

So how do you write a story in 45 minutes?

This video shows you two examples of work done by real GCSE English students in exam conditions. It also has comments by a marker on the responses. The method the students have used represents just one way to approach this question.

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rosiewebster

Great use of examples- very useful resource. Many thanks.

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A really nice resource - thank you for sharing.

Really helpful resource. Thank you very much.

soniahopkins1

Much needed examples!

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