how does homework help build independence

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How to Help Students Develop the Skills They Need to Complete Homework

Middle and high school students can learn to work more efficiently by using strategies that improve their executive function skills.

The effects of homework are mixed. While adolescents across middle and high school have an array of life situations that can make doing homework easier or harder, it’s well known that homework magnifies inequity . However, we also know that learning how to manage time and work independently outside of the school day is valuable for lifelong learning. From the homework wars  to students who have little time for homework to students who don’t even know where to begin, everyone can agree that kids who can self-regulate and engage in independent rehearsal are better positioned for whatever the future holds.

How can we empower students to overcome barriers to doing homework well?

Executive Functioning

Homework is partially an assessment of executive functioning. Executive functioning and self-regulation take time to develop. They depend on three types of critical brain function: working memory, mental flexibility, and self-regulation .

Let’s break this down to consider how to improve their efficiency.

Working memory: Don’t hold everything in your head; it is not possible. When doing homework, students should write down their ideas, whether they are notes while reading, numbers when working through a math problem, or non-school-related reminders about chores, such as remembering to take the dog for a walk. Clearing working memory for the immediate task at hand allows the brain to focus as the strain is reduced.

Mental flexibility: As students build their independence and grow their homework routines, seeing an array of strategies, or more than one way to solve a problem, is important. Consider the results when a child gets stuck and doesn’t know what to do to get unstuck or when one keeps trying the same failed approach. Chunking homework helps simplify the process. When stuck, a student looks at a smaller piece, which makes it easier to see other solutions. More practice with mental flexibility happens when others model thinking in different ways, and students practice flexible thinking with partners by asking them: What is another way? Use this bubble map to chart out multiple ways.

Self-regulation: Learning how to prioritize work and stick with it by not giving in to impulses is a skill that students develop over time . One way to teach self-regulation is to have students practice control by concentrating for short periods of time with the goal of building up to longer, more sustained periods of time as the year progresses. For a child who struggles with reading for an extended time, start with five minutes and then build from there.

Another self-regulation tip is creating a plan to overcome distractions. What happens when the child stumbles? Three minutes into reading and a student is reaching for their cell phone. Recommend that they practice moving the cell phone away from the homework area, and summarize before returning to the reading. Stops and starts are frustrating and often result in lost homework time. Have students practice responses to distraction, and make this part of their homework. When a student struggles to stay on task, they should be encouraged to remove any distraction in order to regain focus.

Use classroom assessment as a tool to plan for and support student homework. Record the following information for students:

• Do they write, read, and/or solve problems in class? For how many minutes independently?
• What is the quality of their work? Are they actually learning, or are they just going through the motions?
• Do they know how to strategize on their own or get help from a peer when they’re stuck? Observe them and take notes, and/or have them reflect on this question.

We cannot expect that students will independently practice a skill they don’t engage with during class. If it doesn't happen in the classroom, it's not going to happen at home. The teacher should be able to realistically gauge how much and what students might achieve at home. A suggestion to build independence is to use task analysis . Here is a model . For students who struggle with getting homework done, at first they may not actually do homework; rather, they practice the routines of setting up and getting started.

Direct Instruction

The following are some techniques that help students with homework:

• Mindful meditation to gain focus
• Prioritizing and estimating time
• Filtering out distractions

Peers as Partners

Class partnership routines need practice. With strong partnerships, kids learn how to support and learn from each other. Access to teachers will never match the unlimited access to peers. The hours that students who achieve at high levels put in after class are often spent alone rehearsing the content or with peers who push each other to improve.

Class-to-Home Connection

While some students struggle with executive functioning, others rush through their homework. The most important step in having homework count is to make it seamless, not separate from class. Homework flows from classwork. Especially with a mix of synchronous and asynchronous work, now there is no homework, just work done for our classes. Consistent instructional goals with engaging and meaningful tasks help students see the value in working beyond the last bell.

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Neag School of Education

How to use homework to support student success.

• by: Sandra Chafouleas
• January 13, 2022
• Community Engagement

Editor’s Note: Board of Trustees Distinguished Professor Sandra Chafouleas shares insights on supporting students’ homework during the pandemic in the following piece, which originally appeared  in Psychology Today , where she publishes a blog.

COVID has brought many changes in education. What does it mean for homework?

School assignments that a student is expected to do outside of the regular school day—that’s homework. The general guideline is 10 minutes of nightly homework per grade level beginning after kindergarten. This amounts to just a few minutes for younger elementary students to up to 2 hours for high school students.

The guidance seems straightforward enough, so why is homework such a controversial topic? School disruptions, including extended periods of remote learning during the COVID-19 pandemic, have magnified the controversies yet also have provided an opportunity to rethink the purpose and value of homework.

Debates about the value of homework center around two primary issues: amount and inequity.

First, the amount of assigned homework may be much more than the recommended guidelines. Families report their children are stressed out over the time spent doing homework. Too much homework can challenge well-being given the restricted time available for sleep, exercise, and social connection. In a 2015 study , for example, parents reported their early elementary children received almost three times the recommended guidelines. In high school, researchers found an average of three hours of homework per night for students living in economically privileged communities.

“ Debates about the value of homework center around two primary issues: amount and inequity.”

Second, homework can perpetuate inequities. Students attending school in less economically privileged communities may receive little to no homework, or have difficulty completing it due to limited access to needed technology. This can translate into fewer opportunities to learn and may contribute to gaps in achievement.

There isn’t a ton of research on the effects of homework, and available studies certainly do not provide a simple answer. For example, a 2006 synthesis of studies suggested a positive influence between homework completion and academic achievement for middle and high school students. Supporters also point out that homework offers additional opportunities to engage in learning and that it can foster independent learning habits such as planning and a sense of responsibility. A more recent study involving 13-year-old students in Spain found higher test scores for those who were regularly assigned homework in math and science, with an optimal time around one hour—which is roughly aligned with recommendations. However, the researchers noted that ability to independently do the work, student effort, and prior achievement were more important contributors than time spent.

Opponents of homework maintain that the academic benefit does not outweigh the toll on well-being. Researchers have observed student stress, physical health problems, and lack of life balance, especially when the time spent goes over the recommended guidelines. In a survey of adolescents , over half reported the amount and type of homework they received to be a primary source of stress in their lives. In addition, vast differences exist in access and availability of supports, such as internet connection, adult assistance, or even a place to call home, as 1.5 million children experience homelessness in the United States

The COVID-19 pandemic has re-energized discussion about homework practices, with the goal to advance recommendations about how, when, and with whom it can be best used. Here’s a summary of key strategies:

Strategies for Educators

Make sure the tasks are meaningful and matched..

First, the motto “ quality over quantity ” can guide decisions about homework. Homework is not busy-work, and instead should get students excited about learning. Emphasize activities that facilitate choice and interest to extend learning, like choose your own reading adventure or math games. Second, each student should be able to complete homework independently with success. Think about Goldilocks: To be effective, assignments should be just right for each learner. One example of how do this efficiently is through online learning platforms that can efficiently adjust to skill level and can be completed in a reasonable amount of time.

Ensure access to resources for task completion.

One step toward equity is to ensure access to necessary resources such as time, space, and materials. Teach students about preparing for homework success, allocating classroom time to model and practice good study habits such as setting up their physical environment, time management, and chunking tasks. Engage in conversations with students and families to problem-solve challenges When needed, connect students with homework supports available through after-school clubs, other community supports, or even within a dedicated block during the school day.

Be open to revisiting homework policies and practices.

The days of penalizing students for not completing homework should be long gone. Homework is a tool for practicing content and learning self-management. With that in mind, provide opportunities for students to communicate needs, and respond by revising assignments or allowing them to turn in on alternative dates. Engage in adult professional learning about high-quality homework , from value (Should I assign this task?) to evaluation (How should this be graded? Did that homework assignment result in expected outcomes?). Monitor how things are going by looking at completion rates and by asking students for their feedback. Be willing to adapt the homework schedule or expectations based on what is learned.

Strategies for Families

Understand how to be a good helper..

When designed appropriately, students should be able to complete homework with independence. Limit homework wars by working to be a good helper. Hovering, micromanaging, or doing homework for them may be easiest in the moment but does not help build their independence. Be a good helper by asking guiding questions, providing hints, or checking for understanding. Focus your assistance on setting up structures for homework success, like space and time.

Use homework as a tool for communication.

Use homework as a vehicle to foster family-school communication. Families can use homework as an opportunity to open conversations about specific assignments or classes, peer relationships, or even sleep quality that may be impacting student success. For younger students, using a daily or weekly home-school notebook or planner can be one way to share information. For older students, help them practice communicating their needs and provide support as needed.

Make sure to balance wellness.

Like adults, children need a healthy work-life balance. Positive social connection and engagement in pleasurable activities are important core principles to foster well-being . Monitor the load of homework and other structured activities to make sure there is time in the daily routine for play. Play can mean different things to different children: getting outside, reading for pleasure, and yes, even gaming. Just try to ensure that activities include a mix of health-focused activities such as physical movement or mindfulness downtime.

The Council for the Accreditation of Educator Preparation (CAEP) accredits the Neag School of Education at the University of Connecticut. Read more about CAEP Accreditation, including the programs covered and the accountability measures .

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How to Use Homework to Support Student Success

Covid has brought many changes in education. what does it mean for homework.

Posted January 12, 2022 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

• Generally, homework should include about 10 minutes per night per grade level.
• The value of homework is debated, with questions about the right amount and potential for inequity.
• Families should view homework as a communication tool, strive to be good helpers, and monitor balance.

School assignments that a student is expected to do outside of the regular school day—that’s homework. The general guideline is 10 minutes of nightly homework per grade level beginning after kindergarten. This amounts to just a few minutes for younger elementary students to up to 2 hours for high school students.

The guidance seems straightforward enough, so why is homework such a controversial topic? School disruptions, including extended periods of remote learning during the COVID-19 pandemic, have magnified the controversies yet also have provided an opportunity to rethink the purpose and value of homework.

Debates about the value of homework center around two primary issues: amount and inequity.

First, the amount of assigned homework may be much more than the recommended guidelines. Families report their children are stressed out over the time spent doing homework. Too much homework can challenge well-being given the restricted time available for sleep, exercise, and social connection. In a 2015 study , for example, parents reported their early elementary children received almost three times the recommended guidelines. In high school, researchers found an average of three hours of homework per night for students living in economically privileged communities.

Second, homework can perpetuate inequities. Students attending school in less economically privileged communities may receive little to no homework, or have difficulty completing it due to limited access to needed technology. This can translate into fewer opportunities to learn and may contribute to gaps in achievement.

There isn’t a ton of research on the effects of homework, and available studies certainly do not provide a simple answer. For example, a 2006 synthesis of studies suggested a positive influence between homework completion and academic achievement for middle and high school students. Supporters also point out that homework offers additional opportunities to engage in learning and that it can foster independent learning habits such as planning and a sense of responsibility. A more recent study involving 13-year-old students in Spain found higher test scores for those who were regularly assigned homework in math and science, with an optimal time around one hour—which is roughly aligned with recommendations. However, the researchers noted that ability to independently do the work, student effort, and prior achievement were more important contributors than time spent.

Opponents of homework maintain that the academic benefit does not outweigh the toll on well-being. Researchers have observed student stress, physical health problems, and lack of life balance, especially when the time spent goes over the recommended guidelines. In a survey of adolescents , over half reported the amount and type of homework they received to be a primary source of stress in their lives. In addition, vast differences exist in access and availability of supports, such as internet connection, adult assistance, or even a place to call home, as 1.5 million children experience homelessness in the United States.

The COVID-19 pandemic has re-energized discussion about homework practices, with the goal to advance recommendations about how, when, and with whom it can be best used. Here’s a summary of key strategies:

Strategies for Educators

Make sure the tasks are meaningful and matched. First, the motto “ quality over quantity ” can guide decisions about homework. Homework is not busy-work, and instead should get students excited about learning. Emphasize activities that facilitate choice and interest to extend learning, like choose your own reading adventure or math games. Second, each student should be able to complete homework independently with success. Think about Goldilocks: To be effective, assignments should be just right for each learner. One example of how do this efficiently is through online learning platforms that can efficiently adjust to skill level and can be completed in a reasonable amount of time.

Ensure access to resources for task completion. One step toward equity is to ensure access to necessary resources such as time, space, and materials. Teach students about preparing for homework success, allocating classroom time to model and practice good study habits such as setting up their physical environment, time management , and chunking tasks. Engage in conversations with students and families to problem-solve challenges When needed, connect students with homework supports available through after-school clubs, other community supports, or even within a dedicated block during the school day.

Be open to revisiting homework policies and practices. The days of penalizing students for not completing homework should be long gone. Homework is a tool for practicing content and learning self- management . With that in mind, provide opportunities for students to communicate needs, and respond by revising assignments or allowing them to turn in on alternative dates. Engage in adult professional learning about high-quality homework , from value (Should I assign this task?) to evaluation (How should this be graded? Did that homework assignment result in expected outcomes?). Monitor how things are going by looking at completion rates and by asking students for their feedback. Be willing to adapt the homework schedule or expectations based on what is learned.

Strategies for Families

Understand how to be a good helper. When designed appropriately, students should be able to complete homework with independence. Limit homework wars by working to be a good helper. Hovering, micromanaging, or doing homework for them may be easiest in the moment but does not help build their independence. Be a good helper by asking guiding questions, providing hints, or checking for understanding. Focus your assistance on setting up structures for homework success, like space and time.

Use homework as a tool for communication. Use homework as a vehicle to foster family-school communication. Families can use homework as an opportunity to open conversations about specific assignments or classes, peer relationships, or even sleep quality that may be impacting student success. For younger students, using a daily or weekly home-school notebook or planner can be one way to share information. For older students, help them practice communicating their needs and provide support as needed.

Make sure to balance wellness. Like adults, children need a healthy work-life balance. Positive social connection and engagement in pleasurable activities are important core principles to foster well-being . Monitor the load of homework and other structured activities to make sure there is time in the daily routine for play. Play can mean different things to different children: getting outside, reading for pleasure, and yes, even gaming. Just try to ensure that activities include a mix of health-focused activities such as physical movement or mindfulness downtime.

Sandra M. Chafouleas, Ph.D., is a Distinguished Professor in the Neag School of Education at the University of Connecticut.

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Helping Your Child Gain Independence with Homework

Fostering independence is accomplished by moving your child from dependence on you to dependence on homework buddies and material resources (e.g., references, lists, reminders). Remember that focusing on what is right about your child is the best way to help him or her strengthen and develop homework completion skills.

Although young children require your close observation, support, and your ability to identify their work style and preferences, eventually you must provide your child with opportunities for decision making, planning, and goal setting. This is particularly important to achieve prior to the adolescent years when there is a more delicate balance between assistance and interference. As we have written in previous columns, during the elementary years, perhaps even more important than the goal of practice and rehearsal, homework helps your child develop the skills necessary to become an independent learner. Independent learning is a critically important skill for middle, high school and college success.

By laying this important foundation you and your teen will be prepared when he or she expresses a preference to work alone and your assistance may be perceived as an intrusion. Many teenagers find parent help with homework an unwelcome offer. By the late elementary school years your involvement may be most effective when it is defined as awareness and monitoring, rather than direct assistance or physical supervision. By the middle school years homework should be completed independently. You should act as a consultant and information source rather than a task master or supervisor. Forcing your assistance on your child at any age will only result in conflict and reduced motivation.

Authors: Dr. Sam Goldstein and Dr. Sydney Zentall

Homework: How to Effectively Build the Learning Bridge

How has the global health crisis impacted the place that homework has in student learning and the school-home connection? Homework holds its place as a school tradition, expected by students and their parents as part of the experience of growing and learning. While there is ongoing debate about homework’s effectiveness, it is traditionally seen as a tool that strengthens academics by providing learning practice at home. John Hattie’s meta-analysis of relevant research on educational practices found that the overall effects of homework on learning are positive, and that the positive effect is highest for junior high and high school students but generally neutral for elementary students. In addition, there is variability depending on the type of homework as well as student demographics (Hattie, 2008).

Schools implementing the Responsive Classroom approach, whether in person or virtually, use homework to effectively build a learning bridge between home and school. When homework is used as a tool to build social, emotional, and academic learning beyond the school day, it takes on a different look and purpose than just more work to do at home. The goal of Responsive Classroom schools is to design homework that meets the basic needs of significance and belonging for every student by strengthening relationships, differentiating what success looks like for each child, and supporting students’ social, emotional, and academic learning.

Focus on Relationships

Homework that impedes relationships— either teacher-to-student, teacher-toparent, or student-to-parent—can potentially damage the home-school partnership. When educators examine the amount, type, and expectations of homework, they often start with the impact of homework on academic achievement. But when schools look beyond academic achievement and also include relationships, they will often rethink the look and purpose of homework.

Effectively building this school-to-home connection starts by replacing homework that impedes relationships with homework that will enhance them. Examples for building these connections include ways for students to share about family traditions, cultural practices, and/or family adventures. Lauren Komanitsky, a special education teacher at Christa McAuliffe Middle School in Jackson, New Jersey, observes:

I’ve seen tremendous enthusiasm for homework and projects that involve family members and their family history. [Students] love to learn about ancestors, interesting facts and stories, and simply getting a deeper understanding of their background. It inspires pride in them and that’s important for their identity. Students also love to do surveys and interviews of their family members. I think anything designed to create good, meaningful conversation between students and their families is time well spent. Lauren Komanitsky (personal communication, February 7, 2021)

Schools that use homework to strengthen home-school relationships embed opportunities for students to develop belonging and significance. As students share the home connections with their classmates and teachers, the classroom community will develop a larger sense of belonging because students see connections among common experiences.

Build Success for Every Student

Classrooms are diverse communities. While teachers intentionally differentiate learning during the school day, providing homework that meets the individual and cultural needs of each student requires additional attention.

One strategy for success for every student is to provide choice. Komanitsky has seen this strategy work when she has had students reflect on what they need and then select homework to meet that need:

Having kids select specific problems from a group, select what part of an overall project they are choosing to focus on, etc. . . . helps with creating a sense of autonomy. When we can give kids a choice in their learning based on their own self-reflection, they learn what it feels like to be in control of the process and this leads to more success. Lauren Komanitsky (personal communication, February 7, 2021)

When homework is designed for success for each student, the bridge between home and school supports a higher level of success and engagement.

Include Practice of Social and Emotional Learning Skills

The first guiding principle of the Responsive Classroom approach states, “Teaching social and emotional skills is as important as teaching academic content.” Social and emotional learning (SEL) is embedded in academic learning throughout the school day. Teachers can create a bridge between home and school by suggesting opportunities for students to practice SEL skills at home and in their community. For example, parents can have their children practice speaking with confidence by having them “make a request, place an order, or thank customer service workers” (Wilson, 2014, p. 67).

In addition, homework may involve students having conversations with family members about their learning histories—the successes, struggles, and strategies t hey encountered when they were students at different levels. When family members share their learning histories, students discover the application of the SEL and academic competencies of perseverance, cooperation, and responsibility. As Komanitsky points out:

When we share how we overcame struggles in certain academic subjects, it encourages perseverance and resilience in our students. Having parents and kids discuss their personal strengths and weaknesses and how they compensate when necessary is also a really good conversation. Lauren Komanitsky (personal communication, February 7, 2021)

Homework that focuses on SEL competencies provides for the transfer of these vital skills to a variety of real-life situations, both at home and in the community.

When schools approach homework as an extension of the learning day and see it as a way to strengthen relationships—between teachers and parents, students and parents, and students and teachers—homework becomes a valuable part of the school experience for every child. Students’ needs for belonging and significance are met and strengthened when homework provides for individual success. And when educators view homework as a tool to strengthen academic, social, and emotional learning, it becomes a valuable piece of the learning puzzle for every student.

• Hattie, J. (2008). Visible learning: A synthesis of over 800 meta-analyses relating to achievement. Routledge.
• Wilson, M. B. (2014). The language of learning: Teaching students core thinking, listening, and speaking skills. Center for Responsive Schools, Inc

Education resources › Blog › 6 self-regulation skills homework helps students develop

6 self-regulation skills homework helps students develop

• Metacognition

Homework has become a staple part of school systems. It gives students the chance to consolidate what they have learned in class by practising it independently. But as well as improving learning, research also suggests that homework can help students develop one of life’s most important skills: self-regulation.

Self-regulation is students’ ability to monitor and manage their behaviours, thoughts, and emotions as they try to progress toward their goals. It is key for developing  independent learners  who take charge of their own learning.

So, what makes homework so good for developing self-regulation skills?

1. Time management and planning

If students want to complete their homework in time to meet the deadline their teacher set, they need to plan ahead, make sure their plan is feasible, and then stick to it. This allows them to consistently practise and hone their time management skills.

Research has shown  that students often struggle with this and can  underestimate how long it will take  to complete a task (this is known as the “Planning Fallacy”). Therefore, having the opportunity to allocate their time accordingly gives them a more accurate base for guessing how to do so again in the future.

2. Persisting with difficult tasks

Homework tasks can be challenging. Students need the persistence to complete them independently.

A key to students developing persistence is to believe that they can accomplish the task to fuel their motivation. Fortunately,  research has shown  that homework activities can help develop self-belief in students of all ages. Some students may need  assistance  with getting started on their homework independently, but when they are on a roll, they could see some improvements in their self-belief and ability to persist through difficult tasks – making future homework easier to get through.

3. Reducing distractions

Avoiding getting distracted is key to get any task done – especially homework. The  growing use of phones  among students makes this skill even more essential.

Research suggests  that reducing distractions during homework is related to overall achievement and shows that high-achieving students are more prone to have this skill than their low-achieving peers.

So, what can students do to stay on task while completing homework? Some easy strategies include:

• Putting their phone away  in another room
• Choosing a quiet space to work, away from the TV
• Turning off their music

4. Organising their environment

A  focused environment  is essential for students to concentrate on their homework, but it’s not just about getting rid of distractions. It’s also about surrounding themselves with only the tools that they will need or that will help them and making sure that their environment allows them to complete their homework efficiently.

Again, this gives students the opportunity to practise organising their working environment, which is an important self-regulatory skill that can help them complete tasks more productively.

5. Overcoming unwanted emotions

Self-control of emotions is another self-regulatory skill that helps students to manage their behaviour. It can be a little bit more difficult for students to manage their emotions as  research has concluded  that the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain largely responsible for this, does not fully develop until age 25.

Doing homework allows students to practise overcoming their frustrations in the face of challenges. A key to this is to  develop their mindset , to believe that with effort, curiosity and a good outlook on setbacks, they can achieve the task at hand.

6. Reflecting on what they have learned

Finally, homework can help students develop self-reflection, which is a  metacognitive skill  as well as a self-regulation skill.

Essentially, this means that students are aware of which learning strategies are working for them and what they can do to elevate their learning. For example, they can  ask themselves reflective questions  throughout the homework task to monitor their progress and see how they can improve their thinking processes.

For example,  research has shown  that reflecting on learning during homework helped increase the academic achievement of 9–10-year-olds after only 5 weeks of training.

Final thoughts

Self-regulation skills are necessary for students in both their educational and personal lives. Homework is a low-cost and effective way to develop these skills for students across all age groups.

This is not to say that other extra-curricular activities such as sport, dance, music or drama can’t also help nurture these skills. However, evidence suggests that homework is certainly one vehicle for students to practice and enhance their self-regulatory behaviours.

Jump to section:

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What we know about homework

I went looking for evidence and found lots of it: there are at least a half dozen systematic reviews about the importance and effectiveness of homework, and all of its nuances.  The Center for Public Education and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development both provide comprehensive essays that summarize the evidence on homework.

One 2007 analysis published by Duke University researchers in particular caught my attention . It included 50 separate studies on homework research that asked the specific question, “Does homework improve academic achievement?”  This study followed an earlier meta-analysis of approximately 100 studies published by the same researchers in 1989. Both reviews conclude that homework does help to improve academic achievement, primarily in the middle and high school.  For children in elementary school, the review concludes that while homework can help children develop good study habits, it does not help to improve students’ grades or standardized test scores.

Here are some other interesting take-home messages about homework:

• Students are more likely to complete and learn from homework assignments that have a purpose, for example, reviewing important concepts, improving students’ independence or providing opportunities to explore topics students are interested in.
• Homework assignments are most successful when they are easy enough for students to complete independently, but challenging enough to be interesting.
• Finding appropriate ways to involve parents with their children’s homework leads to improved academic performance.
• Homework provides more academic benefits for older students. For younger students, some homework can help them to establish study habits and routines, but too much homework detracts from family and play activities after school.
• There is strong evidence that homework improves learning for students with learning disabilities, most likely because these students benefit from additional time to practice new skills.

On a personal note, the evidence makes me wonder if my son receives a little too much homework for his age. In first grade, he receives a reading and a math assignment every day, and he often groans about completing them. I certainly plan to discuss the evidence about homework with his teacher at our first conference.

Homework word looks very easy, but for students they know more about it means. From a tutor point of view, Here are some other interesting take-home messages about homework like If a student will take homework help from experts, they will feel free to complete their own homework before deadline. They can feel stress free and can study well. Thanks

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Homework: A Time for Independence

Co- Founders of PEAS (PRIVATE EDUCATION ADVISORY SERVICE)

Parents have many educational issues to deal with once their children are in a school. One of the biggest concerns and frustrations for parents and children alike is homework. Children have to get it done and parents have to manage it.

One of the best lessons we can teach our children is that of independence and self-reliance. It is imperative that we give our children the space and tools to attempt homework on their own before we jump in to "rescue" them. This is also helpful for their teachers who want to see what each child is able to understand on their own. While teachers and parents are here to support children, a goal for all schools and families is to help children, not only be educated, but, to also be the type of responsible self-assured adults that can take charge and organize their lives in a productive and meaningful way. Each time we help our children help themselves, it is a step towards this -- homework time is no exception!

Many strategies will facilitate this independent homework time. Do not underestimate the importance of a set routine-a time and a place to tackle homework each night -- the same time and the same place.

This includes:

- A quiet, organized place with everything the child needs: pens, pencils, rulers, highlighters, paper, computer, etc.

- A set time -- when there is a non-negotiable time put into place, it keeps the arguments less and will keep everyone calm.

Having a set time and place, beginning from a young age, will help students know what to expect in their day, organize their time and make it easier to get back to the routine on days that it must be interrupted, for things like family events, holidays or special occasions.

In addition, another tool that is extremely helpful with organization, as well as giving the child a chance to feel in control, and the parents a chance to relinquish their control, is to have a checklist for each night of homework. This could be as simple as:

-Read for 20 minutes -Math sheet -Study spelling words for 10 minutes

This can evolve to a much more involved checklist as they get older.

For example, middle school children can benefit from :

-Organizing backpack -Cleaning out folders -Emailing teachers with any questions

In addition to a checklist with each subject and what needs to be completed. These checklists should be clear, short and tailored to each child's specific needs.

One of my children was very unorganized and needed to help to stay focused and on track. His checklist included things like:

-Double check work for careless mistakes -Reread homework assignments to make sure all were completed -Put homework in backpack to get ready for the next day

Last, some kids are happy with their sense of accomplishment while other kids might need a small incentive to help them get motivated -- this can range from a sticker each night or an extra book before bed or, whatever it is that motivates your child

It is amazing how much kids can accomplish when they are trusted with responsibility and how much they can rise to the occasion when even given a small incentive... even that of a smiling parent saying, "good job." Whatever is the reward, the result will be the same: a calm happy child and a calm happy household!

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• Family Support

Building Independence & Problem Solving in Kids

By Julie Binmore , Parenting Consultant, Intentional Parenting.

Sometimes it’s hard to say who dreads the homework routine more, kids or their parents or guardians! One thing that can help everybody is to see the routine as more than just a school obligation and a routine to get through every night. Time spent doing homework can actually be a way for kids to build the skills they need to have a happy and successful life. We know that when kids set goals and work towards them, they are developing intrinsic motivation, an ability to persist, problem solve and self-regulate. This change in the way adults frame the task can help kids to see their efforts through the lens of a growth versus fixed mindset, viewing it as a worthwhile, meaningful task that may involve some struggle, but which can be overcome with the right support.  

So, how do we get our kids there? The first step is for us to see homework as their responsibility, not ours. We can help kids to understand that we are available to help, but that getting tasks done, making sure that they understand the concepts and handing in assignments, is their job. By clarifying the roles, we are setting our kids on a (gradual) path toward independence and showing them that we believe that they are capable. To achieve this, we need to hold firm boundaries, give loving support and make room for our kids to make mistakes and learn from them. To nurture the development of independence, we can expect them to: 

• Unpack their backpack each afternoon, taking out assignments and forms to sign and putting them in the homework area. 
• Start homework at approximately the same time every afternoon. This can be in a certain order, for example, after playing with the dog or at a specific time like 4:30. Whatever works for your family. 
• Take responsibility to try things on their own. When kids hit an inevitable road bump, it’s appropriate to ask them to try to regulate and manage their frustration with deep breaths and other strategies before proceeding. We can model things we do when feeling stressed or overwhelmed and remind kids that it is easier to solve problems once the prefrontal cortex is in charge, not the amygdala. Once kids are feeling ready, they can re-read instructions or a problem while the adult listens. 

Adults can further support kids by prompting them with thoughtful questions like:  

• “Hmm, I wonder what that means? It sounds like a problem you solved earlier.”  
• “What strategies have you used before?” 
• “When is this assignment due? How much time do you predict you’ll need to get it done?

Parents and guardians can also notice and “sportscast” when they see their child persisting and problem-solving and they can offer stories about their own struggles to persist at work or when they were little. 

It can take a long time for kids to learn time management. We can help by coaching them to predict how long a task will take and then comparing the actual time it took with the estimate. This provides a way to use math with a practical application, build up time management skills and reflect about learning.  

We get closer to harmony at home when we empower kids with age-appropriate responsibilities. When we see the homework routine as a way to build independence and academic skills, we are helping our kids to develop confidence and competence and your family can feel like a team working towards shared goals. Adults will feel relief when they take themselves out of the role of drill sergeant and try on the new role of supportive coach! 

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Homework and Developing Responsibility

As children enter the fourth grade, the purpose of homework changes to some extent. In grades one to three, students are learning to read; thereafter, they are reading to learn. In fourth grade both schoolwork and homework become more challenging. Learning tasks require more organization and more sus­tained attention and effort.

Because of this change, homework becomes a more integral part of children’s learning and is reflected more in their academic record. This shift comes at a good time, since at about the fourth grade; chil­dren are ready for and want more autonomy and responsibility and less parental hovering and interference.

Homework for older children has a number of purposes. It provides an op­portunity for review and reinforcement of skills that have been mastered and encourages practicing skills that are not. Homework also is an opportunity for children to learn self-discipline and organizational skills and to take responsi­bility for their own learning.

Many of the same suggestions for approaching homework that were recom­mended for younger children apply to older children as well. Homework is best done when the child has had a chance to unwind from school or after-school activities, is rested, and is not hungry. You and your child should agree upon a regular schedule for when homework will be done, and the length of time that should be devoted to it. This schedule should provide predictability and structure but should be sufficiently flexible to respond to special situa­tions. Some children do best if their homework time is divided into several short sessions instead of a single long one.

Usually parents can be helpful by assisting their child in getting settled and started. You can look together at each day’s homework assignment and decide what parts might require help from you, a sibling, or a classmate. The most dif­ficult parts should be done first. Reviewing for tests and rote memorization tasks also should be done early and then repeated at the end of the homework session or first thing the next morning. As is the case for younger children, homework should be done in a location with few distractions (no television, radio, telephone, video games, comics, toys, or conversation), and where all the necessary supplies and reference materials are available.

Here are some specific suggestions on how to approach homework of dif­ferent types:

Reading Assignments

• Divide chapters into small units or use the author’s headings as a guide.
• Find the topic sentence or the main idea for each paragraph and under­line it or write it down.
• Write a section-by-section outline of the reading assignment, copying or paraphrasing the main points; leave some room to write in notes from class discussions.

Writing (Composition)

• Begin by recognizing that the first draft will not be the last, and that rewriting will produce better work.
• Make a list of as many ideas as possible without worrying about whether they are good or correct.
• Organize these “brainstorm” ideas into clusters that seem reasonable, and then arrange the clusters into a logical sequence.
• Write down thoughts as to why these clusters were made and why the order makes sense.
• Use this work as an outline and write a first draft; at this stage, do not worry about spelling or punctuation.
• Meaning:  Does it make sense and meet the purpose of the assignment?
• Paragraph formation:  Does each paragraph have a topic sentence and are the other sentences logically related?
• Sentence formation:  Does each sentence express a complete thought? Are capitalization and punctuation correct?
• Word:  Was the best word chosen? Is it spelled correctly?
• Neatness:  Is the paper easy to read? Does it follow the format and style the teacher expects?
• Work toward mastering the basic facts and operations (addition, sub­traction, multiplication, and division) until they become automatic. Do this work in small doses, and limit the number of facts to three to five each session. Use writing, flash cards, and oral quizzes.
• Be sure the basic concepts of computation are well understood. Do com­putation homework slowly and check the results, since if the facts are un­derstood, most errors come from being careless.
• Use money examples when learning decimals.
• For fractions, use visual or concrete aids rather than oral explanations.

Studying for Tests

• Gather together homework assignments, class notes, outlines, quizzes, and handouts, and arrange them chronologically (by date).
• Four days before the test, read the information through in a general way.
• Three days before the test, look at major titles of sections in notes and books.
• Two days before the test, review the titles of sections and read the infor­mation and organize it into related clusters.
• The night before the test, repeat the process of the night before and re­cite as much as you can from memory.

Homework: To give and how much to give, that is the question

So, how much homework do you give per night? How do you determine what is the best amount? In addition to the impact that homework has on academic achievement, Christian teachers also are thinking about the impact of homework on the total well-being of students and their families. What about homework’s intrusion into precious family time? What about the student with slow processing who takes twice the time as other students to complete assignments? What about a parent’s choice to engage their child in other types of learning or work outside of the normal school day hours, essentially eliminating time to complete homework? These questions require the Christian teachers’ consideration because our role is to assist parents in the education of their children. Biblically, the parents “make the call,” so to speak.

Research informs one area of decision-making regarding homework. That area is the connection between academic achievement and the amount of time a student spends doing homework. Harris Cooper reviewed more than 60 research studies on homework between 1987 and 2003 and drew some conclusions which may be helpful. [1] Here is a brief summary of the meta-analysis of the research on homework: 1. The amount of homework assigned to students should be different based on the grade of the student.

• Elementary: homework does not increase academic performance, but can positively contribute to establishing work habits.  Recommended: grade in school times 10 minutes = time spent on homework (a student in fifth grade would be 5 x 10=50 minutes a night)
• Middle School:   Recommended:  90-120 minutes average per night
• High School:   every 30 minutes of additional homework per night yields a 5% increase in the student’s GPA up to a point.  Recommended: 120-180 minutes per night

Helping Your Child Develop Independence and Responsibility Through Homework

At what point in your child’s education should they take over responsibility for the management of their own assignments and test preparation? How much should a parent help, remind, or insist? When does a parent’s support cross the line from a necessary step in building their child’s skills to preventing them from flourishing? Parents can use the following questions to clarify their role in order to help their child learn the skills they need to be an independent, responsible adult.

What is my child developmentally capable of?

Almost all students in kindergarten will need reminders and help unpacking their backpacks, completing assignments, and packing their backpacks up again. Building a process and routine into your day to unpack those bags, empty lunchboxes, put important papers in their designated spot, and complete assignments will help to teach your child these basic, but important, organizational skills. Having a routine also eliminates the need for as many reminders and prompts as your child begins to internalize the structure of the day. They begin to learn that they come home from school, grab a snack, unpack their bag and get started on homework. As children progress through elementary school, they should begin taking the lead in telling you what they need to do.  

What exactly does my child need help with and what can she do on her own?

You may not be able to answer this question until you step back and allow your child the opportunity to do her work on her own. If your routine is to have a snack and then get to homework, try waiting a few minutes after snack before you say, “ok, let’s check out your homework.” Wait to see if your child automatically begins the routine. If it looks like she’s not about to begin the homework routine, you can offer a prompt. If your child starts pulling out her folder, that’s a good indicator that she’s learning the routine.

Next, avoid the temptation of leaning over her shoulder to see what she has to do tonight.  Allow her to pull it out and get started. If your child is able to get started and move through the work, let her! Try your hardest to leave her alone while she works.  If she asks a question, you can provide support.  In elementary school, checking homework is a good idea. You’ll want to make sure your child completed homework as assigned and you’ll want to note if it seems like your child is grasping the material. Correcting homework is different than checking homework. Read on.

How does my child do without my help?  

Some children really won’t be ready to handle the demands of managing the executive function aspects of their workload.  Others may not be capable of understanding the material without some extra assistance. Those students really will begin to fall behind and will require a carefully thought out plan which may include coordination with the school, a possible 504 plan or IEP , tutoring, or executive function skill building . Many children, however, can manage homework and studying on their own…it just may not be exactly to your standards. If a child is capable of understanding the expectations, getting started on work, and completing his work, he has mastered the vast majority of the task. If he has completed his work but you notice when checking the work that he has made some mistakes, think carefully about whether or not you instruct your child to try it again, whether you correct the work with your child, or whether you allow the child to turn in his work as is.   

Which outcomes do I want to prioritize?  

Is accuracy and mastering the material the most important aspect of homework for your child right now? It may be. If that’s the case, making corrections to homework could be important. Or, your child might be encouraged to work with his teacher to review the assignment and clarify what they didn’t understand. If your child really seems to have mastered the material but made some careless mistakes or didn’t do their “best” work, you might decide to bite your tongue and allow natural consequences (i.e., points off the assignment, feedback from a teacher) to follow. You could point out that you noticed an error and allow your child to decide if he wants to correct his work or not. By putting the decision in your child’s hands, you’re sending the message that it’s his assignment, his work, his grade. This allows him to take ownership of his homework and education.  You might decide that ownership, responsibility, and independence is the outcome you want to prioritize for your child right now.  

What are the expectations from my child’s teacher(s)?

When trying to decide how much your child is capable of, how much help you should be providing, and which outcomes to prioritize, look to your child’s teacher or school staff to provide guidance. Teachers can share with you general guidelines for approximately how much time assignments should take as well as how they handle mistakes on homework. Do they check homework for completion and review it as a class? Do students have an opportunity to review problems with the teacher if needed? If homework/study time is creating conflict in your house, don’t be afraid to share that with your child’s teacher or teaching team. They may be able to help you identify your priorities, suggest possible supports available, and help create a plan for getting through homework with fewer conflicts in a way that will increase your child’s ability to complete their tasks independently. If you’re following a teacher-approved plan, this may help you to step back and allow your child to learn how to manage their responsibilities without experiencing the guilt or pressure of feeling like you are not fulfilling your obligations as a parent.  

• How Parents Can Help With Homework to Support Student Independence
• < Go Back to

Many parents question how they can help their child with homework assignments to support academic success without encouraging a dependency on such support. This concern often becomes pronounced as students transition into middle school or high school. Parents can procure this balance by considering executive functioning skills development and the role these skills play when students complete homework assignments.

Whereas academic knowledge allows a child to add two numbers to determine the correct sum, executive functioning skills allow the child to complete chosen tasks, such as focusing on one assignment at a time, reading the directions, organizing the work pace, and initiating the task itself. Often, a difficulty with executive functioning skills hinders a child’s progress more than the academic knowledge. This is because executive functioning skills develop in the prefrontal cortex of the brain and do not fully develop until age 25. Therefore, many students need executive functioning support, and such support does not lead to student dependency. But how do teachers and parents implement this support?

Consider the teacher’s role in the classroom and the amount of executive functioning support embedded in the classroom structure. When a student completes a practice worksheet in the classroom, the teacher identifies the time to start, clarifies the exact problems to complete, creates a culture that avoids other distractions, and collects assignments at the end of the period. Therefore, the student focuses on the academic skills without needing to manage the executive function skills to complete the assignment. In this same manner, parents can help students manage the executive functioning skills, supporting the child to complete the academic component of an assignment. Such support does not create dependency. With substantial modeling, practice, and time, the executive functioning skills become habit, and the child implements them with increasing independence as they age and mature.

Consider some of the following ways to support a child’s executive functioning development during homework time. These methods guide a child to practice strategies that support learning while not encouraging the child’s dependency to complete assignments. For any additional directions, communicate efforts to support the child’s academic independence with the child’s teacher.

• Help the child create a plan for when and where he/she will complete homework. Have the child set a timer, if necessary, as a reminder that it is time to begin.
• Help the child maintain a clutter-free workspace with easily accessible materials.
• Help the child identify leisure plans for when homework is completed so that the child has something to look forward to and a reason to finish homework efficiently.
• Offer a finger-food snack and a closed-container drink for the child while completing homework.
• If a child finds it difficult to start when it is homework time, ask the child to share his/her plan and identify the first task (read the planner).
• cover all but one problem to focus only on one problem at a time .
• predict how long it will take to complete the assignment and set a timer.
• help the child find a textbook or teacher example of a similar problem to model.
• send an email to the teacher, requesting academic support.
• Remind the child to complete one task at a time and place a check-off mark on the assignment in the planner.
• If the child appears to be completing the assignment incorrectly, have the child read the directions out loud.

We can make a difference. Hill Learning Center is dedicated to transforming students with learning differences and attention challenges into confident, independent learners. We work closely with our family of teachers, parents, and students to promote academic success throughout our community. Contact us if you’re interested in taking the next step.

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How Does Homework Help Students in the Future?

As adults, most of us can look back and admit that homework helped us prepare for the ‘grown-up world’. Whether it was completing a multiplication table, or penning a critical essay, homework has its benefits.

We are relatively young parents and to see how much the workload has increased. Especially since we were in school, it can be daunting.

Let’s review the skills that consistently completing homework helps to develop.

Improves Time Management

There is a set number of hours in the day. Yet, today’s students seem to have more assignments to complete than ever before. Given the finite constraints of time, students must anticipate the number of hours they feel they will need to complete a task. Then plan to work within their own time frame to complete it.

When they do this successfully, they are able to hand in their work on time. Alternatively, students who hand in work late are often penalized by having marks docked for each day the assignment is late. While being graded with a letter or percentage doesn’t accurately translate into adulthood, the time management skills reinforced through homework do.

Helps Build Independence

Even if you help your child with their homework, their school assignments are very much individual tasks. Especially since the material necessary to complete the assignment is taught in class. Homework can be seen as one of the first things a child must take ownership of. Working on homework instills a sense of personal agency. It is one of the first ways we see our children follow-through with a project from start to finish — all on their own.

Teaches Students to Be Proactive

When it comes to completing homework assignments, many students can—and often do—procrastinate. When they are proactive about completing their assignments, they feel good. They aren’t stressed to meet the deadline and often produce higher quality work. This behaviour often leads to better grades and an increased sense of pride for the work they produce.

Teaches Problem Solving Skills

Homework provides an excellent opportunity for students to develop problem-solving skills early on in life. Students are required to apply what they learned that day in class. Then given a related assignment that encourages them to apply critical thinking, research, analysis, writing, editing, and general problem-solving skills.

These methods and processes eventually become ingrained into their work ethic and are carried forward into adulthood. The problems will be different, but this level of critical thinking and methodology remains.

Helps Curate Their Interests

Your child may have a few subjects that stand out as their favourites. Homework can help to further develop a child’s interest in these subjects. They develop interests in other areas they may not have previously considered. This curation can have a hand in developing their academic, and eventual career. Paths that will ensure they are happy and fulfilled in all that they do.

Make No Mistake:

There will certainly be times when your child simply doesn’t want to do their homework. Trying to instill the long-term benefits of their schoolwork might help encourage them to put pen to paper. Then they will want to apply themselves to the assignments they receive.

That being said, we have to be realistic. Not every child will feel or understand the real-world value of homework. At least not enough to push them to study and work hard.

If your child is struggling with their homework or is having trouble keeping up in class, they may find the idea of homework discouraging. Maybe it’s time to look into a reputable tutoring service to help change your child’s mindset and improve their ability to learn.

We traveled a lot when Gabby was younger and we took advantage of tutoring service to keep her on track. While world schooling is awesome, we didn’t want her to leave traditional school.

Homework can help students practice the lessons from class in a practical manner, but it doesn’t always work on its own. Exploring every resource to success is crucial.

Why not explore it?

Check out our tips section for more posts like these!

Do you help your kids with homework?

Let me know, til then–cheers m’deres!

Nancy Polanco is a freelance journalist, lifestyle content creator, and editor of Whispered Inspirations. She is a proud Mom to Gabby and Michaela and partner and best friend to Darasak. Having worked as part of a health care team for almost a decade, Nancy is happy to be back to her passion. She is a contributor to the Huffington Post, TODAY’s Parents, and an Oprah Magazine Brand Ambassador.

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7 Reasons Why Homework is Good For Your Brain?

Homework is an essential part of learning in school. But how much Homework should kids be doing? And what kind of Homework is best for children? Here are some reasons Homework benefits your child’s brain development.

Homework, when used appropriately, can be beneficial for the brain. Homework allows students to practice and reinforce what they have learned in class. It can help to improve memory retention and comprehension of the subject matter. Additionally, homework can teach students essential skills such as time management, self-discipline, and perseverance, which are essential for success in academics and later in life.

Research suggests that homework can positively impact academic achievement, particularly in high school. A meta-analysis of studies conducted over 25 years found that homework moderately positively affected student achievement in high school. The study also found that the effect of homework on achievement increased as students progressed through high school.

However, it is important to note that homework’s benefits depend on how it is assigned and executed. Too much homework can be counterproductive and lead to burnout, stress, and exhaustion. Homework should be assigned in moderation, with clear expectations and guidelines for completion.

When used appropriately, homework can be a valuable tool for improving academic performance and developing important skills.

Table of Contents

Let us see 7 reasons Why Homework is Good For Your Brain.

Many benefits are associated with doing the home assignments; however, it should be done in moderation.

A properly planned and executed homework plan will help you develop your brain and improve your child’s memory power.

1. It helps students learn how to study effectively

Research shows that students who do more Homework tend to perform better academically than those who don’t.

In fact, one study found that high school students who did at least 20 minutes of Homework every night scored higher on standardized tests than those who didn’t.

Another study showed that elementary school students who were assigned Homework performed better on reading comprehension tests than those who weren’t.

2. It helps them develop better time management skills

According to research, doing Homework has improved children’s ability to manage their time effectively.

This skill is beneficial when managing other responsibilities such as chores, sports, and social activities.

Learning to stay organized and plan your day along with Homework helps children develop discipline, which will help them in the long run.

3. It helps them improve their concentration

Doing Homework can help students develop better study habits and focus. They will learn how to prioritize tasks and set goals.

Students who do their Homework regularly tend to perform better academically than those who skip classes or procrastinate.

Since Homework is done after school, it allows students to learn the concepts better at leisure and conform to their home, thus enhancing their concentration on their studies.

4. It helps them understand the importance of organization

In addition to helping students improve their academic performance, doing Homework can also help them become more organized.

Students learn how to manage their time effectively and organize their work by completing assignments.

This skill is beneficial when they start college because they must balance schoolwork with extracurricular activities.

5. It helps them become more independent learners

Doing Homework can also help children develop self-discipline and independence.

They learn to take responsibility for their learning by taking ownership of their tasks and responsibilities.

As they gain confidence in completing projects independently, they feel less dependent on others.

6. Sharpens their memory

Homework is a way to revise what was taught in the classroom by teachers.

Students doing their Homework at home tend to put their memory into action by trying to remember what was taught in school, thereby sharpening the memory power.

7. Research on the Topic

Not everything is taught in school or in a classroom. There are some concepts and topics which will need much more research.

You will have access to the internet, Youtube, and parents in the comfort of your home.

These tools and people can help you clear your doubts on specific topics and help you understand more details.

This habit of researching and finding answers is an excellent way to sharpen the brain and thus positively affect the future of the child .

Homework was invented since it was believed that students lost the learning given in school once they returned home.

While deliberating on ideas on how to ensure classroom learning is not lost, Homework was invented.

Homework has a lot of positive benefits when given in the proper context and intention. Teachers and Schools should understand the degree and magnitude of Homework that needs to be assigned to children.

While providing a home assignment in moderation is beneficial to the child’s growth, too many home assignments and projects can negatively affect the child and lead to them hating this concept or even create fear of what will happen if the work is not done well.

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How to Stop Enabling and Start Trusting: ADHD Independence-Building Strategies for Parents

When students with adhd need academic and organizational support, parents often (and understandably) supply it. but how much support is too much when does it become enabling and how can you help your child learn self-advocacy skills to develop independence try the strategies below..

Parents of neurodivergent students are detectives. By nature and necessity, they investigate and illuminate the obstacles — from inattention and disorganization to low frustration tolerance and time-management challenges — that block their kids’ paths to success.

Like other parents, you’re likely adept at tackling these obstacles. But if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing and intervening too much, you’re not alone. Many parents of students with ADHD wonder how to strike the elusive balance that offers support and encourages independent self-advocacy skills .

While this may seem like a clear distinction, knowing what to do at the moment is not always easy. For example, suppose you discover that your child has forgotten to bring his violin to school for the fourth time this month. Driving the instrument to school for him may seem to be enabling . However, your investigation suggests that your child may not have the skills he needs to manage that expectation right now. He often ends up practicing the violin later at night after he finishes his homework and runs out of time to pack up thoroughly before bedtime. In the morning rush, he leaves the house to barely make the bus, forgetting to take a moment to check that he has all he needs for school.

You are aware that you must help him develop the structures and strategies to remember everything he needs. However, you are also aware that you are working through other more pressing matters, such as learning how to study for his math quiz, making time to eat breakfast, and calming down before yelling at his sister. So, for now, rather than have him penalized for not remembering his violin, you decide to assist. What makes this action “supporting” rather than “enabling?” You discuss the concern with your child and make a plan to help him learn to remember for himself, even if that plan won’t be discussed or implemented for a little while as you focus on more pressing matters.

• Enabling is doing something for someone else, without a plan to help them do it for themselves.
• Supporting is providing guidance and encouragement to someone as they learn to manage the task on their own in time.

We don’t want our kids to fail. We don’t want our kids to struggle. But sometimes, we need to leave a little more space for discomfort so that they have the opportunity to recognize where they are really having trouble and what they really can accomplish.

[ Read: “I Bailed Out My Kid and I’m Not Sorry” ]

It’s important for you and your child to agree on your role in their education. This might involve pulling back more than you want to. Especially for older students, it might involve letting your kid feel the weight of their own decisions while reminding them you’ll always be there to help them figure out how to navigate choppy waters.

As the new school year kicks into high gear, here are a few ways you can help build a healthy relationship between you and your student with ADHD — one in which they’re expected to do the heavy lifting while you stand by, to spot them.

Strategies for Students with ADHD to Build Independence

Help your child set goals.

Research tells us that when people set goals and really work toward them, not only do they perform better, they experience less stress and less anxiety. They’re more satisfied. Goals help us prioritize what’s important and focus on the possibilities in front of us. So, goal setting is an important part of your student’s success in school. For this to really work, though, the goals have to come from your child, not from you. Their buy-in is a prerequisite.

A goal without a plan is really just a wish. And making that plan may be an area where your child needs help. Here’s how to help, while letting them take ownership:

Step 1:  Reflect on the Past

The start of the school year is a great time to reflect on last year – the triumphs as well as the hurdles. You may find that your child’s perspective on these triumphs and hurdles may differ from yours — and it’s their perspective that really counts when they’re creating goals. So, sit down with your child and ask them questions that help them reflect on things like completing homework, preparing for tests, and participating in class. These questions include:

• What worked well last year?
• What didn’t work so well?
• What did you do that wasn’t worth it?
• What could you have done that you didn’t do, because you forgot or felt scared or didn’t think of it?
• What do you wish you would have done differently?

[ Quiz: How Well Do You Know Attention Deficit Disorder? ]

Step 2:  Take Stock of the Present

To help kids take stock of their skillset right now, I recommend using a coaching technique called “ Wheel of Life .” It lists a few major areas in which we want kids to feel competent, including a lot of executive function skills . These are the skills that help you do what you need to do to reach your goals, and they include:

• Note-taking skills
• Study skills
• Time management
• Test- and quiz-taking skills
• Stress management
• Self-advocacy

For each of these skills, ask your child to rate themselves from 1 (lowest) to 5 (highest). This encourages them to distinguish their different abilities in different areas, and helps them move away from all-or-nothing thinking, where they say, “Oh, I don’t need help with any of that” or, “Oh, I’m terrible at all of that.” It lets them diagnose specific problem areas.

Step 3: Look to the Future

Now that you’ve prompted your child to reflect on the past and take stock of current abilities, ask them where they want to go moving forward. Take a closer look at the skills from the Wheel of Life that they’ve rated a 1 or 2 and ask, “Which of these do you want to tackle first? What are a few specific steps you can take to improve in this area?” Broaden the conversation from here and ask them to name their hopes for this school year.

Remember, these goals don’t need to be academic. Maybe your child has a physical goal to integrate more exercise into their week. Maybe they have a social goal to make two new friends. Maybe their goal is about self-advocacy — to speak up for themselves more at school. Whatever it is, write it down — along with the steps they’ve brainstormed to help them reach it. This solidifies the goal and helps them remember what they’re working toward.

Give Kids Control by Emphasizing Effort

One of the most powerful ways we can give our children control over their education is to focus on effort, rather than grades. Carol Dweck, who developed the concept of the growth mindset , said, “Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control. They come to see themselves as in control of their success.” By contrast, emphasizing intelligence or a grade that someone else gives to you takes the issue out of the child’s hands and makes it harder for them to know what to do when they fall short.

Someone with a fixed mindset believes that we’re born with a fixed set of skills and talents that can’t be improved, and that mistakes and failures should be avoided. A person with a growth mindset views setbacks and mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, and believes practice makes progress. As the school year picks up momentum, something really helpful you can do is examine your mindset, and ask how it may be impacting your child.

Teach Self-Advocacy

Self-advocacy is a skill that has to be taught, like learning to write in cursive or to ride a bike. To that end, make sure your child knows who can support them at school and how they can ask for this support. Be sure to address the following together:

• Does the student know who they can approach for help? Broaden their support circle wherever possible.
• Does the student know the best way (and the best time) to get help? In-person, phone, email, or Zoom? In the morning, after school, or during lunchtime?
• Does the student know what kind of language to use when approaching these people? Practicing can be useful.

Invite Them Into IEP Conversations

As parents, we often advocate for our children behind closed doors, without the child there, in order to protect them. Sometimes, though, having the student join in the conversation is much more productive; it increases their accountability, and models for them how to manage these conversations on their own.

The age at which you may want to invite your child into an IEP meeting, or a school-related conversation about their education will depend on the child. But they might be ready for this at a younger age than you’d think. I have known kids who wanted to be in their IEP meeting starting in First Grade because they noticed they were in the resource room and wanted to know why.

If you don’t want your child to attend a formal IEP meeting , consider setting up a brief three-way meeting between yourself, the teacher, and the student. Their ability to assess their strengths, challenges, and needs may surprise you — and them, too.

Teaching Self-Advocacy & Building Independence: Next Steps

• Read: Enabling vs. Supporting – Helping ADHD Kids Be Independent
• Download: Free ADHD Master Class for Parents and Teachers
• Read: Homework Help – Building Independence in Students with ADHD

The content for this article was derived, in part, from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “ Meet the Teacher: How to Build Relationships This Back-to-School Season ” [Podcast #413] with Cindy Goldrich, Ed.M., which was broadcast on July 26, 2022.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing . Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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How to Allow Independence and Still Keep Your Teen Close

It seems to happen almost overnight. One minute you feel like you have built a close relationship with your teen son or daughter, then the next you are wondering where you might have gone wrong. All of a sudden, she dismisses your suggestions, rolls her eyes at your opinions and accuses you of being the worst parent ever when she doesn't get her way.

The only time you seem to be of any value is when she needs something, which leaves you feeling taken advantage of and no longer appreciated. But rest assured, this scenario is typical for most parent-teen relationships and you are not alone. As a parent, you have done nothing wrong. 

Why Teen Behavior Becomes Harsh

The push and pull you feel with your teen is a normal part of their development. During adolescence, teens are trying to figure out who they are apart from you. As a result, in an effort to pull away and separate from you, they can be downright mean in the process.

What they are fighting for is more autonomy , freedom, and input into decisions that impact them. And while it may seem at times like they do not care about what you have to say , research indicates that they still do. They just don't know how to show it.

Of course, it is no fun to be the parent who cannot breathe without irritating her own child, but it is much easier to ride out this temporary adolescent affliction when you understand what is at the root.

Growing up involves becoming separate from our parents. This process usually begins in the early teen or tween years with an almost abrupt need to distinguish oneself from the parents.

Remember, this is not an easy thing for teens to accomplish. They are trying to become a separate person from the very people who have controlled almost every aspect of their lives so far.

Consequently, as they begin to disentangle from you, they start to decide which of your behaviors they like and which behaviors they dislike. The downside is that everything you do creates an opportunity for your teen to evaluate how they feel about your behavior. Consequently, you can start to feel like you cannot do anything right.

But try to take a deep breath and remember that your teen is striving to establish their own identity . It is normal for them to disagree with what you do or think. It is even normal for them to act like your thoughts or actions are unbearable. Until their identity is no longer interwoven with yours, your style can cramp theirs. And that is OK. 

Eventually, your teen will get to the point where they can separate from you. They will learn to appreciate the little quirks you have without viewing them as irritants. And, they will still want your advice. After all, parents still have more influence over their kids than anyone else in their lives. But until that day arrives, how do you cope?

How to Manage Teen Behavior 

If you find yourself in that all-too-familiar situation where nothing you do seems to sit right with your teenager, remind yourself that you are not alone. There are plenty of other parents experiencing the same things you are. Here are some suggestions to make the most of the situation.

Understand Teen Development

Every time your teen responds with rude words or seems put off by your very existence, remind yourself that this is a normal part of teen development . Take a deep breath and then respond. Of course, being a teen with raging hormones does not give your teen permission to say hateful things and they need to be reminded of the fact that they are hurting other people.

But try not to take your teen's actions too personally. Remind yourself that this is a phase that she is going through and that in the end, she will have become an independent and responsible young person.

Your teen is trying hard to figure out who he or she is without you. Remember that they still see themselves as an extension of you. And while their words hurt, this is just a season they are going through. It will not last forever. 

Establish Rules Regarding Respect

While it is completely normal for your teen to separate from you during adolescence, you should never tolerate continued disrespect from your teen . Remind her that she can state her opinions, dissatisfactions, and disagreements in a normal tone with respectful words. It is completely acceptable to tell your teen that she is not allowed to say "I hate you."

Instead, explain that she needs to find the words to tell someone what is really bothering her. When you are both calm, remind your teen that if she wants to be treated like a grownup, then she needs to communicate like a grownup. And, if she is unable to communicate in a respectful manner there are consequences for her choices .

Know When to Dig Deeper

Sometimes teens will lash out in anger at you when their frustration has little to do with you at all. Instead, you are just an easy and safe target. In these situations, it is important to distinguish between normal teen frustration and more serious issues like bullying , peer pressure or being excluded from a social event . 

If your teen's response to you seems extreme, then you may want to probe a little deeper. Instead of getting angry at the outburst, take a deep breath and step back. Think about why she might be behaving in such a way and then ask thoughtful, open-ended questions .

Remember, the teen years are not easy. Aside from dealing with all the physical changes taking place in their bodies, they also have a lot of other things to deal with including social pressures and academic challenges. Make sure you don't write off all bad behavior as normal. Sometimes there might be something bigger going on.

Don't Be Afraid to Be Disliked

One of the biggest responsibilities of parenthood is helping to mold your teen into a responsible, caring adult . Sometimes the result is that your teen does not like you. But that is OK. It is very important that you be a parent first and focus on guiding your teen into doing what is right in the world around her. 

Too many times, parents place too much emphasis on being liked by their teen or being the cool parent. Your child may not always agree with your decisions and she may not always like you, but in the end, if you embrace your role as the parent, she will respect you for making the tough calls and keeping her safe.

Things can get ugly very quickly when parents focus on being their teen's friend instead of their parent. Remember, your teen has plenty of friends, but only you can fill the role of parent.

Keep Your Cool

 It can be hard to remain calm when your teen insults your hair or your music or responds to you in a snippy voice. But if you take the bait and engage in a yelling match, things with your teen will spiral out of hand very quickly.

Instead, take a deep breath before saying anything. Even walking away for a few minutes to calm down can be helpful. The point is that you do not want to stoop to your teen's level and engage in a yelling match filled with smart remarks, name-calling , and hurtful words. 

Remember, teens often do not recognize that they are being hurtful. As a result, when you respond in a calm manner, you can diffuse the situation before it gets out of hand. You can still hold your teen accountable for being disrespectful but there is no reason for you to be disrespectful too. 

Loosen Your Grip

Remember, that it is healthy for your teen to take reasonable risks and make mistakes. This is part of the learning process. So while it may make you nervous to allow your 17-year-old to drive into the city for a concert, if she has proven she is a responsible driver and has a good plan in place, it might be acceptable to let her go.

Too many times parents make the mistake of tightening their grip on their teens and try to control their every move. When this happens, it almost always leads to rebellion .

Even if you disagree with your teen's suggestions or ideas, be sure you are respectful. Listen to what she has to say without lecturing.

For instance, you can say, "I am impressed with how you have worked out a plan for driving three hours away for a baseball game, but I still don't think it is a good idea." What's more, if you do give your teen some freedom and she messes up, do not slip into "I told-you-so" mode. Simply state the facts and move on. There is a very good chance she has already learned her lesson. 

Embrace Your New Independence

As teens get older, they tend to want more privacy. They may even share less information with you than they did before. As long as she is healthy, doing well in school, and does not show any signs of depression or substance abuse , a little bit of space between you and your teen is healthy. Teens need the freedom to make their own plans, choose their own friends, and think their own thoughts.

This distance between you and your teen can cause you to feel insecure at times. On the one hand, you are happy she is becoming more independent and responsible but on the other hand, you are sad that she seems to be growing away from you.

To help cope with the emptiness you are feeling, focus on non-parenting activities that you find fulfilling. You also should do things that make you happy like going for a walk, reading a good book, seeing a movie with a friend, or grabbing a quiet dinner with your spouse.

A Word From Verywell

The teen years are filled with challenges unlike anything you have ever experienced. But they also can be some of the most rewarding years of parenting. While it is true that dealing with your teen's need for independence can cause headaches, there is nothing more rewarding than watching your teen establish her identity and embrace who she is.

Yes, the teen years can be difficult, but don't let those challenges keep you from watching your teen develop into the person she was meant to be.

Szwedo DE, Hessel ET, Loeb EL, Hafen CA, Allen JP. Adolescent support seeking as a path to adult functional independence .  Dev Psychol . 2017;53(5):949-961. doi:10.1037/dev0000277

Kobak R, Abbott C, Zisk A, Bounoua N. Adapting to the changing needs of adolescents: parenting practices and challenges to sensitive attunement .  Curr Opin Psychol . 2017;15:137-142. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2017.02.018

Uink BN, Modecki KL, Barber BL. Disadvantaged youth report less negative emotion to minor stressors when with peers: An experience sampling study . International Journal of Behavioral Development . 2019;43(3):NP1-NP1. doi:10.1177/0165025416626516

By Sherri Gordon Sherri Gordon, CLC is a published author, certified professional life coach, and bullying prevention expert.