personal statement for work experience examples

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

  • Ruth Gotian
  • Ushma S. Neill

personal statement for work experience examples

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

  • Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
  • Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
  • Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
  • Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

personal statement for work experience examples

  • Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and associate professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City, and the author of The Success Factor and Financial Times Guide to Mentoring . She was named the #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters and test your mentoring impact . RuthGotian
  • Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

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Home › University › How To Write A Personal Statement? 10 Tips + Student Questions Answered › How To Write About Work Experience In Your Personal Statement

How To Write About Work Experience In Your Personal Statement

  • Published October 25, 2021

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We get it – you’re dying to include your work experience in your personal statement, but how do you write about work experience in your personal statement ? Work experience is an essential component of your personal statement . It shows that you are passionate and knowledgeable about your chosen course. Some courses require prior work experience before you can apply.

So if you’re looking for a way to showcase your work experience, this blog post is just what you need. Learn how to write about work experience effectively in your statement to help you stand out from the crowd and get into the university of your dreams.

Female writing on notebook and in front laptop

Check The Course Requirements For Work Experience

Some courses require you to have work experience before applying (e.g. medical courses.) You may need to complete a certain number of working hours before you’re eligible. It’s best to check out the course requirements before writing your work experience personal statement. If you’re thinking of applying to medicine then check out our medical personal statement advice , likewise with our how to write a law personal statement .

With that said, other courses don’t require work experience. But it does elevate your personal statement if you have relevant work experiences to share.

Examples Of Work Experience

Man and woman passing donation box

Perhaps the greatest obstacle to writing your work experience personal statement is determining whether an activity counts as “work experience” or not. Here are examples of work experience you may need to include:

  • Extracurricular Activities

These are activities that are not included within your formal curriculum. Being a member of the sports team, debate club, Red Cross, or theatre group are good examples.

  • Formal Work Placements

Formal work placements are exposures to real-world experience. These are often required as part of your curriculum.

  • Volunteer Work

There are tons of volunteer work you could’ve participated in. Maybe you helped out at animal shelters, environmental conservation activities, or feeding programs.

  • Part-Time Jobs

Part-time jobs are significant for your work experience personal statement. Working as a customer service agent, freelance writer, or salesperson at a local store demonstrates a sense of responsibility on your part. Mention what’s relevant to the course you’re applying for! Competitions. Look out for competitions in areas that interest you, for example, design, writing, maths, or business.

  • Personal Projects

Your personal projects reflect what you love doing. That’s why there’s a high probability they’re related to the course you’re applying for.

If you love coding, you may have built websites. Love writing? Maybe you’ve set up your own blog! Write them down in your work experience personal statement.

  • Leadership Positions

If you occupied leadership positions in your organisations relevant to your chosen course, mention them! Universities are on the lookout for motivated individuals willing to take responsibility.

The list of work experiences to include in your personal statement hopefully helps, but make sure to check out our what not to put in a personal statement .

Writing down your leadership positions can take your work experience personal statement up a higher notch.

State Your Work Experience

Woman talking to manager at work

You now have a solid idea of relevant work experience you need to include in your personal statement. But how will you present it? Here are questions to eliminate writer’s block:

Make good use of these starters to kick off your writing. Brainstorm all relevant details of your work experience. We’ll sort them out later. And, if you’re wondering how to start a personal statement then wonder no more!

Discuss What You Learned, And Why It’s Essential

After stating the facts about your work experience, it’s time to get to the heart of the matter. You are writing your work experience personal statement not to brag about your achievements, but showing why you’re serious about your course .

That’s why discussing what you learned is essential. Beyond your role, share what insights you’ve gained that helped shape your character.

If you’re not sure how to start, let these questions unknot your ideas:

  • How did this position impact you?
  • What are the primary skills you’ve gained that are relevant to your course?
  • How does this experience influence your decisions in pursuing your study goals?
  • How does this experience relate to your general ability to succeed in your course?
  • What are the major lessons you’ve learned that are helping you grow as an individual person ?
  • What is your biggest takeaway from this position?
  • Are there significant interactions that impacted your desire to take the course?

After answering these questions, craft a powerful paragraph that demonstrates how deep your understanding is.

The more interesting facts you share about yourself, the better. Bring your work experience personal statement to life with vivid details that convey essential ideas about who you are.

Ideas For Essential Skills

Man presenting to coworkers in office

You may be unaware of skills you possess that are relevant and essential for your course. To make sure you won’t forget to mention them, here are skill ideas common across fields:

  • The ability to communicate to higher-ups, colleagues, and clients
  • Perseverance amidst challenges
  • A sense of duty and obligation
  • Eagerness to serve the community, especially the marginalised
  • Critical thinking skills to overcome setbacks
  • Initiative to work independently
  • Knows how to work in a team setting
  • Shows energy and enthusiasm to
  • Motivation to work hard and do well

These are some of the common skills valuable across several fields of study. Among these, which describes you most? Go ahead and write about it!

Demonstrate Understanding Of The Course You’re Applying For

Your work experience should deepen your understanding of the course you’re applying for. Dig deeper and reflect on these points:

  • How is your course making a positive change in the world? If you’re eyeing health-related courses, explain how health workers significantly impact people’s lives. Do you want to apply for education-related courses? Relay a story of how significant educators in your life changed you for the better.
  • Mention the gaps and problems you see in the field. Do you see a severe lack of health facilities? Perhaps you’ve witnessed the challenges teachers and professors experience in the education system.
  • What do you plan to do about it? Demonstrate that you’re applying for your chosen course because you want to help solve the problems that you see. Convince the admissions board that you’re the person for the course by writing about your desire to be an agent of change!

Reach Out To People Who’ve Been Where You Want To Be

To enhance your work experience personal statement, reach out to people who’ve been where you want to be. University students and practising staff are the perfect individuals you can approach.

Set appointments with them and ask them about their experience. What is it like to be in their position? What are the challenges that they see? What are they doing to improve their field of study?

Best of all, solicit advice on how to write your work experience personal statement. What skills do the admissions boards search for?

Then go back to your personal statement and write about your new connections. Mention how their insights and advice shed greater light on how your work experience will help you succeed in your course.

Do this, and you’re guaranteed to show a richer work experience personal statement.

Read Up On The Current Situation Of Your Chosen Field

Soak up knowledge on the current challenges and breakthroughs of your chosen field. Read journal articles, news websites, and featured stories. You can also visit blogs written by practitioners or university students.

Make sure to cite authoritative sources and figures when discussing the status quo. Then weave the information back to your work experience.

Do you have similar experiences with the figures you’ve mentioned? Have they discussed situations you experienced yourself? How are you making a difference in the field? Will your perspective matter?

What a perfect way to build credibility for your work experience personal statement!

Check Out Work Experience Personal Statement Examples

You now have a rich draft of your work experience personal statement. But you’re unsure of how to word and structure it.

Why not check out work experience personal statement examples on the web? Examine how they presented their experiences and insights. Make sure to read as many examples as you can.

Choose your top 3 favourites and save them in your documents. If you’re short of ideas, go back to them. Don’t forget to highlight paragraphs, sentences, and words that inspire you.

Be Authentic And Vulnerable 

Don’t be afraid of being vulnerable in your work experience personal statement. The admissions board needs to know if you are genuinely passionate about this course or not, so don’t hold back!

But remember to stay authentic. Don’t overdramatise mundane events. State events as they happened, and share your realisations as they are. Authenticity is a precious factor!

Action The Above To ‘Work’ On Your Personal Statement

With the suggestions mentioned above, you’ll be able to craft a more compelling and impactful work experience personal statement. Understand that this is YOUR story. Don’t copy others’ work experience personal statements.

Make your own angle and spin, and rest assured that the admissions board will want to read about YOU in your chosen course!

Related Content

How to get into the fashion industry.

personal statement for work experience examples

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StandOut CV

Resume personal statement examples

Andrew Fennell photo

If you want to secure job interview, you need a strong personal statement at the top of your resume.

Your resume personal statement is a short paragraph which sits at the very top of your resume – and it’s aim is to summarize the benefits of hiring you and encourage employers to read your resume in full.

In this guide I have included 17 resume personal statement examples from a range of professions and experience levels, plus a detailed guide of how to write your own personal statement that will get you noticed by employers

Resume templates 

17 resume personal statement examples

To start this guide, I have included 10 examples of good personal statements, to give you an idea of how a personal statement should look , and what should be included.

Note: personal statements are generally used by junior candidates – if you are experienced, check out our resume summary examples instead.

College graduate resume personal statement (no experience)

College graduate no experience resume personal statement

Although this college graduate has no paid work experience , they compensate for it by showcasing all of the skills and knowledge the have gained during their studies, and demonstrating how they apply their knowledge in academic and personal projects.

When you have little or no experience, it’s important to draw out transferable workplace skills from your studies and extracurricular work, to showcase them to employers.

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College graduate resume personal statement (part time freelance experience)

Graduate with part time freelance experience CV personal statement

This candidate has graduated college with a degree in biochemistry but actually wants to start a career in marketing after providing some digital freelance services to fund their studies.

In this case, they haven’t made much mention of their studies because they aren’t relevant to the marketing agencies they are applying to. Instead they have focused their personal statement around their freelance work and passion for the digital field – although they still mention the fact they are degree educated to prove their academic success.

High school leaver resume personal statement (no experience)

High school leaver no experience resume personal statement

This candidate is 16 years old and has no work experience whatsoever, but they compensate for this by detailing their academic achievements that relate to the roles they are applying for (maths and literacy are important requirements in finance and accountancy roles).

They also add some info on their extracurricular activities and high school work-placements, to strengthen this student resume further.

Top tips for writing a resume personal statement

  • Thoroughly research the jobs and companies you are planning to apply for to identify the type of candidate they are looking for – try to reflect that in your personal statement
  • Don’t be afraid to brag a little – include some of your most impressive achievements from education, work or personal life
  • Focus on describing the benefits an employer will get from hiring you. Will you help them to get more customers? Improve their workplace? Save them time and money?
  • If you have no work experience, demonstrate transferable workplace skills from your education, projects, or even hobbies

High school leaver resume personal statement (part time experience)

High school leaver part time experience resume personal statement

Although this person has only just left high school, they have also undertaken some part-time work in a call center alongside their studies.

To make the most of this experience, they have combined their academic achievements with their workplace exposure in this personal statement.

By highlighting their future studies, summer programme involvement, work experience and expressing their ambitions to progress within sales, this candidate really makes an appealing case for hiring them.

College leaver resume personal statement (no experience)

College leaver no experience resume personal statement

This candidate has left college with good grades, but does not yet have any work experience.

To compensate for the lack of workplace exposure, they have made their honor results prominent and highlighted skills and experience which would benefit the employers they are targeting.

Any recruiter reading this summary can quickly understand that this candidate has great academic achievements, a passion for IT and finance and the ability to transfer their skills into an office environment.

College student resume personal statement (freelance experience)

College graduate freelance experience resume personal statement

As this student has picked up a small amount of freelance writing work during their studies, they have made sure to brag about it in their personal statement.

They give details on their relevant studies to show the skills they are learning, and boost this further by highlighting the fact that they have been applying these skills in a real-life work setting by providing freelance services.

They also include key action verbs that recruiters will be looking for , such as creative writing, working to deadlines, and producing copy.

Academic resume personal statement

Academic CV personal statement

Aside from junior candidates, the only other people who might use a personal statement, are academic professionals; as their resume’s tend to be more longer and detailed than other professions.

This candidate provides a high level overview of their field of study, length of experience, and the roles they have held within colleges.

High school leaver resume personal statement with sports experience

High school leaver sports focussed resume personal statement

Although this person has no work experience, they are still able to show employers the value of hiring them by selling their other achievements and explaining how they could benefit an organization.

They expand on their sports club involvement to demonstrate their teamwork, leadership skills, communication and motivation, which are all important traits in the workplace, and will be looked upon favourably by recruiters and hiring managers.

They also draw upon their future plans to study business studies at college and take a part time job, to further prove their ambition and dedication.

History graduate resume personal statement

History graduate CV personal statement

This history graduate proves their aptitude for both academic achievement and workplace aptitude by showcasing valuable skills from their degree and voluntary work.

They do this by breaking down the key requirements for each and showing how their skills could be beneficial for future employers, such as listening, communication, and crisis management.

They also describe how their ability to balance studies alongside voluntary work has not only boosted their knowledge and skills, but also given excellent time management and organizational skills – which are vital assets to any employer.

Law graduate resume personal statement

Law graduate resume personal statement

This legal graduate makes the most from their college work placements by using it to bulk out the contents of their resume personal statement.

They include their degree to show they have the necessary qualifications for legal roles, which is crucial, but more importantly, they showcase how they applied their legal skills within a real-life work setting.

They give a brief overview of the types of legal professionals they have been working alongside and the type of work they have been carrying out – this is all it takes to get the attention of recruiters and show employers they have what it takes to fulfil roles in the legal sector.

Medical student resume personal statement

Medical student resume personal statement

This medical student proves their fit for the role by showcasing the key skills they have gained from their studies and their work experience placements.

In just these few sentences, they are able to highlight the vast amount of experience they have across different disciplines in the industry, something which is particularly important in the medical sector.

As they have not graduated yet and are still studying, they have provided proof of their most recent grades. This can give the recruiter some indication as to the type of grade they could be graduating with in the near future.

Masters student resume personal statement

Masters student CV personal statement

This masters student has started by specifying their area of study, in this case, accounting, and given details about the specific areas of finance they are most interested in. This can hint towards their career goals and passions.

They have then carefully listed some of the key areas of accounting and finance that they are proficient in. For example, business finance, advanced corporate finance and statistics.

They have also outlined some of the transferable skills needed for accounting roles that employers will be looking out for, such as communication, attention to detail and analytical skills.

Finance student resume personal statement

Finance student CV personal statement

As this finance student has recently undertaken some relevant work experience, they’ve made sure to shout about this in their personal summary.

But more than this, they have included a list of some of the important finance skills they gained as a result of this work experience – for example, financial reporting, processing invoices and month-end reconciliations.

Plus, through power words and phrases such as ‘prevent loss’ and ‘improve upon accuracy and efficiency’, they have also showcased how they can apply these skills in a workplace setting to benefit the potential employer.

Internship resume personal statement

Internship resume personal statement

This digital marketing professional has started their personal summary by outlining their most relevant qualifications and work experience, most notably their freelance role as a content manager.

They have also provided examples of some of the key marketing skills that potential employers might be looking for, including very detailed examples of the platforms and tools they are proficient in – for example, LinkedIn, Twitter and Pinterest.

They have then closed their statement by giving a detailed description of the type of role or opportunity they are looking for. In this case, an in-house position in a marketing company.

College graduate career changer personal statement

College graduate career changer resume personal statement

Switching careers as a college graduate can be tough. Especially when it comes to writing a personal statement that will attract employers in your new chosen field.

This candidate is looking to move from history teaching into journalism, so they have created a statement which briefly mentions their current workplace, but mainly focuses on highlighting transferable skills which are relevant to journalism. They achieve this by discussing the writing skills they use in their current role, and mentioning their hobby of writing – including some publications they have been featured in for extra brownie points.

Business management graduate personal statement

Business management graduate CV personal statement

This business management proves their ability to work within a junior business management position by swiftly highlighting their impressive degree (to ensure it is not missed) and summarizing some of the real-life experience they have gained in management during their college placements and volunteering. They do not let their lack of paid work experience, stop them demonstrating their valuable skills.

PhD graduate

PhD graduate CV personal statement

PhD graduate roles attract a lot of competition, so it’s important that your resume contains a personal statement that will quickly impress and attract recruiters.

This candidate provides a short-but-comprehensive overview of their academic achievements, whilst demonstrating their exceptional level of knowledge in research, languages and publication writing.

By highlighting a number of skills and abilities that are in high-demand in the academic workplace, this resume is very likely to get noticed and land interviews.

How to write a personal statement for your resume

Now that you’ve seen what a personal statement should look like and the type of content it should contain, follow this detailed guide to one for your own resume – and start racking those interviews up.

Guide contents

What is a resume personal statement?

Resume personal statement or resume summary, personal statement format, what to include in a resume personal statement.

  • Personal statement mistakes

How to write persuasively

A personal statement is a short paragraph at the top of your resume which gives employers an overview of your education, skills and experience

It’s purpose is to capture the attention of busy recruiters and hiring managers when your resume is first opened – encouraging them to read the rest of it.

You achieve this by writing a tailored summary of yourself that explains your suitability for the roles you are applying for at a very high level, and matches your target job descriptions .

Personal statement basics

One question candidates often ask me is , “what is the difference between a personal statement and a resume summary?”

To be honest, they are almost the same – they are both introductory paragraphs that sit at the top of your resume… but there are 2 main differences:

A personal statement tends to be used more by junior candidates (college graduates, high school leavers etc.) and is relatively long and detailed.

A resume summary tends to be favoured by more experienced candidates , and is shorter in length than a personal statement.

Personal statement vs summary

Note: If you are an experienced candidate, you may want to switch over to my resume writing guide , or example resume summaries page.

To ensure you grab recruiters’ attention with your personal statement, lay it out in the following way.

Positioning

You need to ensure that your personal statement sits at the very top of your resume, and all of it should be totally visible to readers, without the need to scroll down the page.

Do this by reducing the top page margin and minimizing the space taken up by your contact details.

CV page margins

This will ensure that your whole personal statement can be seen, as soon as your resume is opened.

We have a resume template which can help you to get this right.

Size/length

Your personal statement needs to contain enough detail to provide an introduction to your skills and knowledge, but not so much detail that it bores readers.

To strike the right balance, anything between 8-15 lines of text is perfect – and sentences should be sharp and to-the-point.

As with the whole of your resume , your personal statement should be written in a simple clean font at around size 10-12 to ensure that it can be read easily by all recruiters and employers.

Keep the text color simple, ensuring that it contrasts the background (black on white is best) and break it into 2 or even 3 paragraphs for a pleasant reading experience.

It should also be written in a punchy persuasive tone, to help you sell yourself and increase your chances of landing interviews , I cover how to do this in detail further down the guide.

Quick tip: A poorly written resume will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy Resume Builder to create a winning resume in minutes with professional resume templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Once you have the style and format of your personal statement perfected, you need to fill it with compelling content that tells recruiters that your resume is worth reading.

Here’s what needs to go into your personal statement…

Before you start writing your personal statement, it’s crucial that you research your target roles to find out exactly what your new potential employers are looking for in a candidate.

Run a search for your target jobs on one of the major job websites, look through plenty of adverts and make a list of the candidate requirements that frequently appear.

Tailoring CV profile

This research will show you exactly what to include in your personal statement in order to impress the recruiters who will be reading it.

Education and qualifications are an important aspect of your personal statement, especially if you are a junior candidate.

You should highlight your highest and most relevant qualifications, whether that is a degree or your GED. You could potentially go into some more detail around modules, papers etc. if they are relevant to the roles you are applying for.

It’s important that you discuss the experience you have gained in your personal statement, to give readers an idea of the work you are comfortable undertaking.

This can of course be direct employed work experience, but it doesn’t have to be.

You can also include:

  • High school/college work placements
  • Voluntary work
  • Personal projects
  • Hobbies/interests

As with all aspects of your resume , the content should be tailored to match the requirements of your target roles.

Whilst discussing your experience, you should touch upon skills used, industries worked in, types of companies worked for, and people you have worked with.

Where possible, try to show the impact your actions have made. E.g.  A customer service agent helps to make sales for their employer.

Any industry-specific knowledge you have that will be useful to your new potential employers should be made prominent within your personal statement.

For example

  • Knowledge of financial regulations will be important for accountancy roles
  • Knowledge of IT operating systems will be important for IT roles
  • Knowledge of the national curriculum will be important for teachers

You should also include some information about the types of roles you are applying for, and why you are doing so. Try to show your interest and passion for the field you are hoping to enter, because employers want to hire people who have genuine motivation and drive in their work.

This is especially true if you don’t have much work experience, as you need something else to compensate for it.

Resume personal statement mistakes

The things that you omit from your personal statement can be just as important as the things you include.

Try to keep the following out of your personal statement..

Irrelevant info

Any information that doesn’t fall into the requirements of your target roles can be cut out of your personal statement. For example, if you were a professional athlete 6 years ago, that’s great – but it won’t be relevant if you’re applying to advertising internships, so leave it out.

Generic clichés

Poor resume profile

If you are describing yourself as a “ dynamic team player with high levels of motivation and enthusiasm” you aren’t doing yourself any favours.

These cliché terms are vastly overused and don’t provide readers with any factual details about you – so keep them to a minimum.

Stick to solid facts like education, skills , experience, achievements and knowledge.

If you really want to ensure that your personal statement makes a big impact, you need to write in a persuasive manner.

So, how do you so this?

Well, you need to brag a little – but not too much

It’s about selling yourself and appearing confident, without overstepping the mark and appearing arrogant.

For example, instead of writing.

“Marketing graduate with an interest in entering the digital field”

Be creative and excite the reader by livening the sentence up like this,

“Marketing graduate with highest exam results in class and a passion for embarking on a long and successful career within digital”

The second sentence is a much more interesting, makes the candidate appear more confident, throws in some achievements, and shows off a wider range of writing skills.

Quick tip: A poorly written resume will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy Resume Builder to create a winning resume in minutes with professional templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Your own personal statement will be totally unique to yourself, but by using the above guidelines you will be able to create one which shows recruiters everything they need.

Remember to keep the length between 10-20 lines and only include the most relevant information for your target roles.

You can also check our college graduate resume example , our best resume templates , or our library of example resumes from all industries.

Good luck with the job hunt!

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CV Personal Statement:  Examples and Actionable Tips

Elena Prokopets

Fact: recruiters spend only 6 seconds reviewing each CV. So poorly organized CVs inevitably get discarded. 

Having an effective CV layout is the first step to attracting their attention. And the second step is topping that CV with a compelling personal statement (also known as a personal profile, personal summary, or executive summary).

What is a Personal Statement in a CV? 

A personal statement for a CV is a short and compelling paragraph that summarizes why you’re the most qualified person for the offered role. It tells the reader who you are and what valuable qualifications you will be bringing to their company.

NB : Opening statement, personal profile, personal summary, or executive summary are the other common names for a personal statement. 

Many believe that the work experience section is the most important element of a CV. Yet, it is your personal statement that can end up making or breaking the success of your job application. 

Because it provides the reader with a quick answer to one question they have on their mind: Are you qualified for the job or not? 

Remember: You’ll be directly competing with numerous other applicants with similar skills and work experiences. A compelling CV statement sets you apart by giving the reader a condensed snapshot of who you are as a person. 

Do I Need To Include a Personal Statement On My CV?

The short answer is YES! A personal statement entices the reader to read your entire CV by giving them a preview of your most valuable skills. It also helps you differentiate from other candidates by explaining your background, motivation, and personal character traits concisely. 

In essence, a personal statement helps you express why you are the right choice for the job in one condensed paragraph.

Where Should a Personal Statement Go in a CV?

A personal statement goes into the header area of your CV. Include it right under your name and contact details as a separate, highlighted area. A good personal statement is about 3-4 sentences long and occupies not more than 1/4th of the page. 

Alternatively, you can design a two-column CV and allocate the upper sidebar area for your personal statement. As a recent survey found, 77% of recruiters prefer two-column CVs to single-column ones.

Sample personal statement placement on a CV template

personal statement in resume

What Do You Write in a CV Personal Statement?

A compelling personal statement summarizes your professional and educational background; highlights the main skills and accomplishments. It can also express your career objectives and/or interest in the particular industry or subject if you’re a current student or recent graduate.  

Personal Statement Examples for CV 

To give you an idea of how to write your statement, let’s look at some examples.

Remember: You need to write a unique personal statement for your CV. Simply copying and using these examples may not be the best move because the sample CV statements won’t reflect your unique experiences and personality. 

Good CV Personal Statement Examples

Employers want to see experts. Therefore, your personal statement must speak directly to your most marketable skills. 

You should never come off sounding desperate or diminish your worth (even if you have been recently laid off ). Use a confident tone with first-person implied and strong verbs to describe your core competencies and other benefits you can bring to the workplace. 

General Jobseeker Personal Statement Example

Highly motivated, fully trained engineer with 15 years of experience in the telecoms industry. Worked with XYZ Telecoms Ltd, Cool Mobile Carrier, and Acme Telco as a field engineer and project team leader. Successfully managed large commercial telecom infrastructure installations. Currently unemployed due to the relocation of the company. Open to new opportunities in NOC. 

Personal Statement CV Example For an Administration Position 

Adaptable and resourceful facilities manager with experience in supporting enterprise-sized organizations in real estate, pharmaceuticals, and manufacturing industries. Strong organizational skillset: Six Sigma, standardized method of procedure (MOP) policies implementation. Was responsible for facilities operations on 2.4 million square feet in a 20-building chemical manufacturing campus, serviced by a 20+ people team of building engineers, electricians, HVAC technicians, and cleaners.

Accountant Personal Statement CV Examples

Below are two samples for a senior and a junior accountant. 

Chartered Accountant 

ACCA-certified accountant for mid-market and enterprise-sized companies. Conducted due diligence and tax audits for FTSE 500 companies. Commenced for a 100% accuracy track record in financial reporting, as well as fast turnaround on complex analytical reviews. Provide on-demand advisory on trust setup, company incorporation, and tax deferrals. 

Account Assistant 

Detail-oriented, certified accounting assistant with experience in payroll administration. Familiar with Gusto, Xero, and Intuit software. Effectively process payroll, benefits, taxes, and social contributions for over 1500 employees per month. Possess a strong foundation in employee classification,  tax reporting, and financial management. 

CV Personal Statement Examples for Students

Whether you’re applying for an internship or looking for a part-time job , a compelling personal is a must-have for a student CV. 

Since your work experience history may be a bit “thin”, you need to persuade the employer via other means — your transferable skills, academic interests, and personal traits. A personal CV allows you to spotlight all of these. 

Remember that you are bringing your energy, dedication, enthusiasm, and willingness to learn to the table. As you will not have any employment history, you need to make sure to get your personality and your soft skills over in your statement.

CV Statement for a Student Looking for a Full-Time Summer Job 

Junior copywriter, enrolled in a BA Writing Program at the University of Manchester (graduation date: fall 2025). Alumni of the 2022 Copywriting Bootcamp program from Matters Agency. Well-versed in target audience analysis, brand positioning, and editorial campaign planning. Writing clips for eCommerce and SaaS brands are available in my portfolio.  

CV Statement for an Internship 

Second-year mechanical engineering student at the University of Leeds, seeking to apply theoretical knowledge in safety system design. Proficient in AutoCAD and completed a series of blueprints for fire and water safety systems as part of my coursework. Fast learner, self-starter, and team player, I’m excited to contribute my technical expertise to a dynamic engineering team.

CV Statement for a Student Looking for a Part-Time Job 

Junior front-end developer (React, Angular JS), seeking a part-time programming position in the Great London area. Current availability is 10-15 hours per week, preferably with hybrid work arrangements. Solid understanding of design systems and UX/UI best practices. Past work experience in finance and eCommerce sectors. 

CV Personal Statement Examples for 16-Year-Olds

Joining the workforce straight after high school makes sense if you want to take a gap year or pursue trade education later on. The wrinkle, however, is that most employers may be wary of your age and lack of experience.

The goal of a personal statement is to dispel those doubts by showing that you’re a serious, mature, and hard-working candidate, eager to learn and hone your craft. 

Personal Statement for a Barista Position 

Genuine coffee lover and frequent guest at Maddie’s Cafe, I would love to join the barista team. As a former head of the prom planning committee, I understand the importance of good teamwork, efficient planning, and following instructions. My main objectives are to learn more about beverage prep and deliver exceptional experiences to customers. 

CV Personal Statement Examples For A Graduate

Your personal statement should focus on your main educational attainments and experiences. If you are applying before you have had your degree results, it is fine to give a projected grade. You can also mention any specific modules you have studied that are relevant to the job on offer and how much you enjoyed working on them.

Remember: Your goal is to explain why you’re interested in this role and what you could bring to the table. 

Graduate Personal Statement Example

Business administration graduate with a 1:1 honors degree from XYZ University. Interested in an entry-level merchandising position within your Commercial Sales Department to expand my knowledge in retail merchandising, procurement, and inventory management. Looking to apply my analytical and data modeling skills for merchandising strategy optimization. 

Personal Statement for High School Graduate 

Energetic and enthusiastic high school graduate (June 2023) with top A-levels grades in English, Maths, and French. Seeking an entry-level role in sales, where I can make use of and develop my language skills. My long-term career goal is to further my language qualifications and position myself as a European sales manager living and working overseas for a global company.

Personal Statement Examples for CV With No Experience

Lack of experience in a particular role or industry should never discourage you from applying. Although you may not tick all the criteria boxes, you still have transferable skills and unique work experiences to showcase.

Moreover, ongoing talent shortages are prompting employees to reconsider their hiring criteria, plus invest more in new hire training and upskilling. Four in five companies now struggle to fill in open vacancies, which is the highest number in the past 17 years. 

So take your chances and apply even if you don’t have sufficient work experience. 

Personal Statement Example with No Relevant Work Experience 

Former front-desk hotel employee, looking for an opportunity to leverage strong service orientation and organizational skills in new roles (Customer Success or Customer Support). Familiarity with appointment booking software, digital chat apps, and CRM software. With my strong commitment to personal growth and my adaptable nature, I believe I could be a valuable asset to customer-centric teams.  

Personal Statement Example with No Industry Experience 

Self-starter with a BA degree in Communication and experience in corporate event management seeking a transition to music festival management. Experienced in organizing off-site events for 100+ people (including location scouting and travel coordination). I thrive in fast-paced environments and am eager to build a strong network of new partners. 

Discover even more personal statements from our collection of CV examples . 

CV Personal Statement For A Career Change

Career change is a big decision, but it can lead to a more fulfilling professional life. Besides, you’re not completely starting anew. Many of the hard and soft skills are quite universal. There is any number of different jobs that need the same set of skills that you have developed, so always try to lead with these and use real-life examples of your experience.

Career Change Personal Statement Example:

Working for the past 10 years as a regional sales manager has allowed me to develop keen skills in building strong working relationships and lucrative networks. Communication skills I developed during my time at my current employer enabled me to win vital contract wins that increased sales revenue by 20% over three years. I am now ready to take on a new challenge and want to work in the charity sector so that I can use my skills to give something back for the direct benefit of others.

How To Write A Strong Personal Statement for a CV 

An effective personal statement summarizes your skills and experience in a relevant way i.e., it indicates how you can be of help to the employer. 

In short, a compelling CV personal statement: 

  • Lists your most marketable skills and qualifications 
  • Highlights your industry knowledge and work experiences 
  • Mirrors some of the key phrases, used in the job description 

And here’s how to write a personal statement that makes a mark.

1. Review the Job Description Once Again 

As you go through the role description, pay attention to the words, used by the employer, to describe the candidate’s requirements, duties, and personality. Keep those in the back of your head. 

These are the keywords you’d want to use all around your CV — in the personal statement, work experience, education, and skills areas. 

2. Do a Mental Tally of Your Skills 

Try to remember the times in your previous work roles when you accomplished notable objectives, went above and beyond expectations , or otherwise did better than your peers.  

Note down everything that springs to mind including your years of experience in a similar role, challenges you took on and the positive results achieved, new projects you kick-started – anything that has close relevance to this new position.

3. Make a Draft Personal Statement 

Write down a sample personal statement. Don’t worry about the length – just put as many details as you’d like on paper. Once you’re done, revisit the job description. See how your personal statement compares to the description. Does it paint a picture of someone who would fit the role? 

4. Edit for Clarity and Briefity 

A good CV personal statement shouldn’t be longer than 3-4 sentences. Take a critical look at your draft version and condense it to the bare essentials: 2-3 main skills, a major accomplishment, and a note on your motivation and/or personal traits. 

Other things that don’t belong in your personal statement are:

  • Explanation of employment gaps or present unemployment status 
  • Information about hobbies or personal interest 
  • Any mention of references or recommendations 
  • Irrelevant skills or work experiences 

Want to stand out even more? Add a persuasive opening statement that highlights your strengths as a candidate. 

A compelling personal statement can be the key between your CV making the ‘yes’ pile or the reject bin. Take some time to get your statement right and always write a new one for each job you apply for by mirroring the employer’s language. 

Finally, to give your CV a polishing touch, try out one of our fancy, but free CV templates , coming in multiple styles: professional, modern, simple, and creative!

Elena Prokopets

Elena runs content operations at Freesumes since 2017. She works closely with copywriters, designers, and invited career experts to ensure that all content meets our highest editorial standards. Up to date, she wrote over 200 career-related pieces around resume writing, career advice... more

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Academic Personal Statement Guide + Examples for 2024

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You have a bright future ahead of you in academia and you’ve already found the program of your dreams.

The only problem? 

You have to write an impressive academic personal statement that sets you apart from a sea of applicants.

We know that writing about yourself might not come naturally. And when the academic program you have your sights set on is on the line, it doesn’t make it any easier.

But there’s no need to worry!

We’ve prepared this guide to help you write your academic personal statement and secure your spot in your program of choice.

In this article, we’re going to cover:

  • What Is An Academic Personal Statement?
  • 7 Steps to Writing the Best Academic Personal Statement
  • An Example of a Stellar Academic Personal Statement

Let’s dive in.

academic cv

You’ll need an academic CV alongside your personal statement. Create one with ease with Novorésumé !

What Is an Academic Personal Statement?

A personal statement is an essential part of the academic application process.

Much like a motivation letter , your academic personal statement serves to demonstrate why you’re the right candidate for the course and sell yourself as a capable student.

Your goal is to show the admissions committee that they’ll benefit from having you in their university as much as you’ll benefit from joining the program.

Academic Vs CV Personal Statement

The term ‘personal statement’ can mean different things depending on your field.

In the world of job hunting, a personal statement usually refers to a few sentences that go at the top of your CV . This paragraph is meant to convey your top skills, relevant experiences, and professional goals to a hiring manager from the get-go and increase your chances of getting an interview.

However, in the world of academia, a personal statement refers to a more in-depth description of you as a candidate. 

In a nutshell, an academic personal statement shows the admissions committee your academic achievements so far, as well as what motivated you to apply and pursue this position.

Personal statements are also often required when applying for certain jobs, much like writing a cover letter . If you’re looking at a position as a faculty member in a university or other academic institution, for example, you might be asked to provide an academic personal statement.

7 Steps to Write an Academic Personal Statement

Preparation is the key to success and this is exactly where our guide comes in handy.

So just follow these steps and you’re sure to secure your spot:

#1. Read the Brief (Carefully!)

Academic personal statements aren’t necessarily a one-size-fits-all piece of writing. 

Typically, every institution has its specific requirements on what candidates should include in their academic personal statement.

To make sure you’re on the right track with your academic personal statement, read the brief carefully. Consider taking notes and highlighting important points from your program’s brief as you go through it.

Pay attention to any specific question the university wants you to answer. If you don’t address everything the admissions board expects, your personal statement will look sloppy and you’ll be considered an inattentive candidate.

Be sure to re-read the brief after you’ve finished writing your academic personal statement, too. This way you can make sure you’ve answered everything adequately and you’ll have the opportunity to correct any slips.

#2. Research the Program

Make sure you do your homework on the academic program you’re applying to.

You can’t write a good academic personal statement without research, let alone a great one. Much like researching your employer , taking the time to learn more about your desired school and personalizing your application can make a huge difference.

For example, you can dive into how your values align with that of the school you’re applying to, and how your experience and interests relate to specific things about the program. The more you focus on how you’re the right fit for this specific position, in this specific program – the better.

Carefully read through the school and program’s official pages since everything you would need to know is probably on the school’s official website. You can also ask current and former students for help but remember that whatever they say should never replace official information when crafting your academic personal statement.

#3. Plan Your Statement

An academic personal statement is meant to explain your academic interests and shouldn’t contain irrelevant details about your personal life.

Focus on why you want to study the course you’ve chosen and provide any information about your achievements so far.

Ask yourself the following questions to get the ball rolling on what to write:

  • Why do you want to study (or work) in this program? How will it benefit you?
  • How do your skills match the position?
  • What makes you stand out from other applicants?
  • What are your exact career aspirations?
  • How can you and your work benefit the institution you’re applying to?
  • If you changed fields, how did you decide to apply in this direction?
  • What insight can you bring thanks to your different experiences?
  • How will this change of field help your future career?

Write down your answer to these questions in the first draft of your academic personal statement.

#4. Look at Example Statements

Don’t hesitate to read other people’s academic personal statements online. They’re a great source of inspiration and can help get rid of any remaining writer’s block.

If you’re struggling to understand how to meet the language and formatting requirements for your academic personal statement, seeing actual examples is the best way to learn.

But be careful – don’t copy any lines you read, no matter how impressive you think they are. 

Most universities run every academic personal statement through intensive plagiarism checking, and even a paraphrased sentence could lead to your application being rejected for plagiarism.

So pay more attention to the overall structure of the academic personal statements you read, rather than copying the exact wording.

#5. Structure the Contents

There should be a cohesive argument that your entire essay follows. Each sentence and paragraph should complement and build on the one that comes before it.

The structure of your personal statement should include:

An intriguing introduction to you as a candidate

The introductory paragraph should grab the admission committee’s attention and keep them engaged.

Here you should be sure to avoid cliches like saying how you’ve “always dreamt” of graduating from this university or of studying this exact program. Instead, give an example of what really influenced you to pursue this dream.

Here’s an example:

  • I’ve always loved reading and since I was a child, it’s been my dream to graduate from Oxford University and contribute to the world of literary analysis. That’s why I spent the past year volunteering at my local writers’ society and giving constructive feedback during workshops and book discussions.
  • It wasn’t until I failed my first essay assignment in secondary school that I realized the depth that lies beneath each sentence in a given text. I began to delve into the rich layers of literary texts and the intricacies of literary analysis became my passion. Although initially challenging, the depth of understanding that this field offers about human emotions, cultural contexts, and narrative structures enthralled me. I found myself questioning the narrative structures and character motivations that I had previously taken for granted, and I was eager to understand how the subtle and often overlooked elements within a text could have a profound impact on its overall interpretation. This need to fundamentally understand a given author’s work has stayed with me since and led me to pursue literary analysis as a postgraduate student.

An engaging body

The main part of your academic personal statement should detail your interests, experience, and knowledge, and how they make you suitable for the position.

This is where you should expand on your motivation and use the following tips:

  • Why this university? Provide strong reasons for your choice, related to your future career or the institution’s reputation.
  • Mention your relevant studies and experience. This includes projects, dissertations, essays, or work experience.
  • Give evidence of key skills you have, such as research, critical thinking, communication, and time management, and explain how you can contribute to the department with them.
  • Say what makes you unique as a candidate and provide an example.
  • Explain who have been the main influences who put you on this path and why they’ve influenced you.
  • Mention other relevant experiences, such as memberships in clubs related to the subject, awards you might have won, or impressive papers you’ve written.
  • Talk about your career aspirations and how the program ties into your goal of achieving them.

Depending on the guidelines of the specific university, you could also divide your academic personal statement’s body with subheadings, such as:

  • Academic background
  • Research interests
  • Methodological approaches
  • Research experience
  • Personal experience
  • Extracurricular activities 
  • Relevant skills
  • Career aspirations

A logical conclusion

Your academic personal statement needs a conclusion that ends on an enthusiastic note.

Make sure the conclusion reiterates the main points from the body of your text.

Your relevant accomplishments and desire to attend this specific program should be clear to any reader.

#6. Pay Attention to the Language

When writing the first draft of your academic personal statement, pay attention to the language and tone you’re using.

An academic personal statement is also a formal text, so your writing should reflect that. Colloquialisms aren’t appropriate, as they would take away from the well-mannered impression you want to give the admissions committee.

However, you also want your personal statement to be straightforward and avoid any complex jargon from your field of study.

For example, your opening sentence shouldn’t be overly complicated. You should communicate everything as clearly as possible, and be inclusive to those outside of your field of study since they might be on the admissions board that’s reading your academic personal statement.

Make sure that the tone throughout your text is positive and conveys your enthusiasm for the program. Your academic personal statement should show the admissions committee that you really want to be there, and why that’s beneficial to everyone involved.

#7. Proofread Your Statement

This step probably isn’t surprising to you but it’s worth paying attention to.

Your academic personal statement is a very formal document and it should be spotless. 

So, make sure it adheres to academic writing conventions . For example, contractions like “I’m” instead of “I am” are informal, and should be avoided.

Mistakes like these are very common when writing about yourself, particularly when you’re used to describing yourself in informal environments.

Carefully proofread your academic personal statement, then run it through a grammar checker like Grammarly or Quillbot, then proofread it again.

The tiniest grammar mistake or typo could make the admissions board reject your application.

Academic Personal Statement Example

Ever since my first encounter with the enchanting worlds spun by Flaubert, Balzac, and Proust, my intellectual pursuits have gravitated toward French literature. With an undergraduate degree focused on French Language and Literature, I have been fortunate to explore my passions both theoretically and empirically, embedding them within broader themes of cultural theory and comparative literature. It is with great excitement that I apply for the postgraduate research position in the French Literature program at Kent University, with the aim of contributing novel scholarly perspectives to this captivating field.

Academic Background and Research Interests

During my undergraduate studies, I delved deeply into the realms of 19th-century Realism and Naturalism. My senior thesis, which examined the dialectics of morality and social structures in Balzac's "La Comédie Humaine," was not merely an academic exercise; it served as a crucible where my theoretical understandings were rigorously tested. This research experience intensified my interest in the complex interplay between literature and societal norms, a theme I am eager to further explore in my postgraduate work.

Methodological Approaches

My academic approach is fundamentally interdisciplinary. I strongly believe that literature should not be studied in a vacuum; rather, it should be contextualized within historical, sociological, and psychological paradigms. During a semester abroad in Paris, I took courses in cultural anthropology and French history, an enriching experience that complemented my literature-focused studies. This holistic approach will enable me to contribute a multifaceted perspective to the research endeavors at Kent University.

Previous Research and Scholarly Engagements

My scholarly activities have also extended beyond the classroom. Last summer, I participated in an international conference on French Literature and Post-Colonial Theory, presenting a paper on the depictions of colonial landscapes in Dumas' adventure novels. The opportunity to engage with academics from various disciplines provided me with fresh insights and underscored the importance of collaborative research. Further, I've had the honor of having a review article published in the Sheffield Journal of Contemporary Literary Explorations, where I critiqued a groundbreaking new translation of Verne's works.

Extracurricular Contributions and Skills

In addition to my academic achievements, I have sought to enrich my department’s intellectual community. I served as the editor of our departmental journal and organized a series of seminars featuring guest speakers from the worlds of academia and publishing. My strong organizational skills, combined with proficiency in both written and spoken French and English, make me a versatile candidate capable of adding value to the French Literature program’s broader objectives.

To summarize, my deep-rooted passion for French literature, fortified by rigorous academic training and interdisciplinary methodologies, makes me an ideal candidate for the postgraduate research position in your esteemed program. The prospect of contributing to academic discourse at Kent University is an opportunity I find deeply compelling. I am especially excited about the potential for collaborative research and interdisciplinary inquiries, which aligns perfectly with my academic philosophy. I am fully committed to leveraging my skills, experiences, and enthusiasm to make a substantive scholarly contribution to the study of French Literature. Thank you for considering my application; I am keenly looking forward to the possibility of furthering my academic journey in this vibrant intellectual community.

FAQs on Academic Personal Statements

If you’re wondering anything else about academic personal statements, check out the answers to the most frequently asked questions related to them here:

#1. How do you start a personal statement for an academic job?

Applying for an academic job is different from applying for a position as a student. First, you need to establish your qualifications and enthusiasm for the role immediately.

Start by explaining your current status, for example, as a postdoctoral researcher or an experienced member of the faculty, and specify the position you are applying for. Then follow up with your research interests or personal philosophy towards teaching.

You can add a personal anecdote or compelling fact that summarizes your academic journey so far, or your passion for the field. After that, your academic personal statement can go deeper into the qualifications from your academic CV and how you’re a great fit for the position.

#2. How do I introduce myself in an academic personal statement?

The introduction of your academic personal statement is the key to grabbing the attention of the admissions committee.

Start by stating the field or subject that interests you, and why. You can share a specific personal anecdote or observation that led you to this academic pursuit and set the stage for the detailed explanation in your main body.

The goal of your introduction is to give the reader a sense of who you are, what drives you, and why you would be a valuable addition to their department.

#3. Is an academic personal statement like an essay?

Yes, an academic personal statement can be considered a type of essay.

Both essays and academic personal statements are structured forms of writing that are meant to deliver a coherent argument and are divided into an introduction, body, and conclusion. They provide supporting evidence to prove the point and maintain a logical flow to guide the reader to the final conclusion.

However, essays tend to be objective and explore a specific topic or question in depth. Academic personal statements use similar techniques but they present the candidate’s qualifications, experiences, and aspirations in a way that’s meant to persuade the admissions committee.

#4. How long is an academic personal statement?

Typically, an academic personal statement is between 500 and 1000 words long.

The exact length of the text varies depending on the university and program you’re applying to. You should always check the specific requirements for your desired program, and stick to the guidelines you find.

However, if the university you’re applying to doesn’t specify a word count, you should aim for one to two pages.

#5. What do I avoid in an academic personal statement?

Since your personal statement is a crucial part of your academic application, it’s important to avoid any common mistakes.

Make sure the content of your academic personal statement isn’t too generic. Its goal is to give insight into you as an individual, beyond what can be read in your CV . 

You should also avoid cramming too many points in your text. Your academic personal statement should follow a logical flow, and focus on the relevance of what you’re sharing about yourself and how it relates to the academic program you’re pursuing.

Key Takeaways

And that concludes our guide to writing an academic personal statement!

We hope you feel more confident when crafting your application for that academic program or faculty position you have your sights set on.

Now let’s recap what we talked about so far:

  • Academic personal statements are very different from CV personal statements. While CV personal statements are brief paragraphs at the top of the page, an academic personal statement is an in-depth text that details why you’re interested in a given position, and what makes you a good candidate.
  • The guidelines on academic personal statements vary according to the institution you’re applying to. Read the brief very carefully, and pay attention to what it says about word count and questions your personal statement should answer. Any mistakes here could result in rejection.
  • There are differences between applying for a postgraduate program and applying for a faculty position. But in both cases, you should research the exact place you want to apply to and adjust your application accordingly to match the institution’s values.
  • Always proofread your academic personal statement before sending it, even if you’re sure there are no errors.

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Personal Statement: Work Experience

Introduction.

Talking about your work experience is important in your personal statement, some universities have work experience as a requirement, so demonstrating that you have done work experience in your personal statement is essential.

A common question we get asked is how many experiences should I mention? We recommend you reference at least 2 experiences out of your hospital, GP and volunteering placements. On top of this, try to focus on the interesting aspects too, for example if you spent 5 days at a GP surgery with 1 day being full of interesting patients you saw with the GP, focus on this instead of the other 4 days where you were doing menial tasks. 

personal statement for work experience examples

How do I talk about my work experience?

You should follow this structure:

  • What work experience you did – was it a hospital placement, volunteering, work shadowing?
  • Where you did it – was it in a hospital, GP surgery, hospice, care home?
  • What you saw – was there a particularly memorable interaction that you remember, or did something you see stand out to you?
  • Reflection – what did your experience tell you about medicine? Did it make you more certain that a career in medicine is right for you?

When talking about your work experience placements, try to focus on skills demonstrated by doctors that you have seen, this will help focus your writing. Within each work experience it is important that you are:

  • Reflective – don’t just state what you did or saw, but talk about what you learnt about the role of a doctor in this particular work experience setting. This is how to impress the examiner as it shows insight and maturity of your thoughts that they are looking for in medical students.
  • Positive yet Realistic – It is important that your work experience has shown you the reality of becoming a doctor, as it isn’t the glamours role that it is sometimes portrayed on TV or in movies. Therefore, showing your realistic understanding is important. On top of this, showing that you are still positive about being a doctor will help to demonstrate your commitment to the profession. Try to maintain this positive tone throughout your personal statement. 

Examples of writing about work experience:

“ I saw how the GP was always rushed due to the number of patients he had to see, and how stressful and challenging a job medicine is ”

Although this shows your insight into the realities of medicine, it is written in a rather negative tone. This makes the reader feel like this is a job no one would want to do, especially not someone who has seen this and identified this as a problem. Instead why no try:

“ I appreciate the GPs skills in time efficiency and management, which enabled him to see so many patients in the day ”

This instead focuses on the positive attributes of the doctor that enables him to function with more ease in a challenging role. This positive spin is still acknowledging the large number of patients that the GP has to see, however, comes across to the reader in a much more positive way. Try to replicate a similar thing with your own examples. 

So, hope you found that all useful! In a nutshell – Talk about at least 2 different work experiences, focus on the interesting aspects of your work experience, remember to reflect, as this is what the examiners are looking for, try to focus on one skill demonstrated by a doctor per experience

Frequently Asked Question

🎤 what is a work experience personal statement.

A work experience personal statement is a section of a job application or university admission application that describes a candidate’s relevant work experience. This statement is used to demonstrate the candidate’s skills and experience to the employer or university and to show how this experience will contribute to their future success.

💎 Why is work experience important for a personal statement?

Work experience is important for a personal statement because it demonstrates the candidate’s relevant skills, knowledge, and work ethic. It can show how the candidate has applied their skills in real-world situations and how they have developed professionally. This information can be valuable to employers or universities when considering candidates.

🏆 What is the best opening sentence for a personal statement?

The best opening sentence for a personal statement is one that immediately grabs the reader’s attention and sets the tone for the rest of the statement. Here are some examples of effective opening sentences:

“As a lifelong lover of science, I have always been fascinated by the way that the natural world works.”

“Growing up in a family of artists, I have always had a deep appreciation for the power of creativity and self-expression.”

“From a young age, I knew that I wanted to make a difference in the world and help those in need.”

“As a first-generation college student, I have overcome numerous obstacles to pursue my passion for learning and personal growth.”

“Throughout my life, I have been driven by a strong sense of curiosity and a desire to explore new ideas and experiences.”

These opening sentences all effectively introduce the writer and set the stage for the rest of the personal statement. They grab the reader’s attention and provide a glimpse into the writer’s personality, passions, and motivations.

📖 What should I include in my work experience personal statement?

In your work experience personal statement, you should include a brief description of your work history, including any relevant experience, responsibilities, and achievements. You should also highlight the skills and knowledge you have gained from your work experience and explain how these skills will contribute to your future goals.

🧵 How long should my work experience personal statement be?

Your work experience personal statement should be concise and focused. It should typically be no more than two or three paragraphs in length, but this can vary depending on the requirements of the application.

📌 Can I include volunteer experience in my work experience personal statement?

Yes, you can include volunteer experience in your work experience personal statement if it is relevant to the position or program you are applying for. Volunteer experience can demonstrate your commitment to the field and show that you have developed skills and knowledge that are applicable to the position or program.

✨ How can I make my work experience personal statement stand out?

To make your work experience personal statement stand out, you should focus on the specific skills and experiences that make you a strong candidate for the position or program. You can also use examples and anecdotes to illustrate your achievements and demonstrate your passion for the field.

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  • Personal Statement: Motivation for Medicine
  • Personal Statement: Conclusion

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

  • Essay 1: Summer Program
  • Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
  • Essay 3: Why Medicine
  • Essay 4: Love of Writing
  • Essay 5: Starting a Fire
  • Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
  • Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
  • Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
  • Essay 9: Eritrea
  • Essay 10: Journaling
  • Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

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Writing about your work experience in your personal statement—case examples

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  • Alison Walker , associate editor BMJ

All applicants need to write about their work experience in their personal statement to demonstrate why they are a good candidate not only for a place at medical school but also as a future doctor. How have successful medical students done this? I asked four students at different medical schools to tell me how they got their work experience, what they did, and, most importantly, how they put into words what they learnt from it all.

My main work experience placement during sixth form was volunteering at a care home for elderly people for almost a year. The application process was straightforward: I called the care home, was sent an application pack in the post, and was then interviewed by the manager a few weeks later. The placement involved visiting once a week for a few hours to provide company for some of the residents. Although this was not work experience in a hospital, I was able to reflect on how it highlighted the difficulties of being a doctor in my personal statement. I wrote:

“I have experienced both sadness and frustration with regards to a resident who suffers from Alzheimer’s, because she learns to trust me, only to forget who I am later on. Despite this I visit her regularly because a few kind words on my part, grants her a sense of security. This, amongst other experiences, has allowed me to begin to appreciate the intensity of the emotional stress doctors face daily.”

Out of all the work experience I did (including shadowing consultants at various hospitals) I now know that it was volunteering at the care home that most accurately reflected what it is like to look after people who are sick.

I emailed as many consultants as I could, starting by looking at departments that interested me in the hospitals near to where I lived. In my email I was very concise, explaining a little about myself and how even spending one day with them would be invaluable for my application to medical school. Surprisingly, most of my hospital experience came from these emails. I received a lot more “no” than “yes” responses to my emails, but be persistent and don’t give up easily.

Make sure you take notes during your work experience. Write down your thoughts, feelings, and anxieties. What went through your head when you witnessed your first ward round, or a patient cried in a consultation? Beyond how you feel at the time, also think about the science behind whatever you see. Pay attention to the aspects of your experience that told you something interesting and intriguing about being a doctor, caring for a patient, or even how complicated the National Health Service can seem to be.

When you come to write about your work experience in your personal statement, make sure whatever you say is unique to what you’ve seen, how you felt, and what that means to you as a prospective medical student. For example, one sentence from my personal statement stated:

“While on an intensive care unit of the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery, I witnessed how complex ethical issues, like withdrawal of treatment and whether or not to resuscitate, were a part of the daily challenges faced by healthcare professionals in their care of every patient.”

In this example I thought about what I had seen in a way that looked at medicine as a whole and not just as a specific event that I had observed while on the wards. Translating your experience into a personal statement can’t be done overnight, but with time it is more than possible.

Sending many emails and calling around helped hugely—you just need to put yourself out there. The places I contacted were keener to help me if I explained (on the phone or by email) exactly what I wanted to gain from the work experience. Teachers are sometimes able to help, but ultimately it is down to you to put in the time to search online and make telephone calls and send emails.

What I realised from my work experience was that medicine wasn’t the glamorous and easy job that so many medical dramas make it out to be. I saw many negative aspects, including the long hours (one surgeon said he hadn’t seen his children in weeks, even though he lived with them) and the need to make emotionally demanding decisions.

Here are some of the ways I reflected on the variety of my work experience:

“To gain more patient contact, I volunteered in a nursing home, feeding patients and assisting in moving and handling. It was here that I discerned the lesser-known aspects of healthcare: paperwork, understaffing, and even violence towards healthcare staff.

I have been fortunate to shadow many doctors on the wards and in theatre, observing mastectomy, coronary artery bypass surgery, and seton placement. I saw how the multidisciplinary team works together in a demanding hospital environment. The doctors’ focus on patient centered care hugely impressed me; the duty of a doctor to respect patients’ decisions (providing the patient has capacity and has made an informed decision) reminds me that doctors, aside from being highly competent, must also recognise patients’ moral values.

To learn about other aspects of healthcare, I spent two weeks at a pharmacy where I learnt about confidentiality. I also volunteered at a dental clinic, practising manual dexterity in aspiration.”

One thing I’ve found from running access to medicine and outreach events at my university is that admissions tutors are only interested in what you’ve learnt from your work experience. It is notoriously difficult to gain work experience involving patients, and it isn’t a prerequisite at all. What is more important is explaining how your work experience makes you a better candidate, especially when you’ve shown how you’ve taken on board the things you’ve learnt.

For my work experience I spent one week at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital (RNOH) in London, one week in a general practice surgery, as well as lots of voluntary bits such as helping in care homes and at a school for children with learning disabilities.

I got most of the voluntary work experience through my school, but I also emailed organisations myself to gain as much experience as I could. I am lucky enough to have a family friend who is a general practitioner and who let me attend the practice for a week, and for the RNOH placement I applied via an application form which is freely available on its website. Here’s how I wrote about it:

“My work experience at a local GP surgery demonstrated to me the resilience and stamina that a doctor requires, as I was able to shadow a doctor treating a range of patients on home visits, telephone surgeries, and walk in clinics.

It is fascinating to me that the job of an orthopaedic surgeon can be to essentially break a patient’s bones in order to improve them. Only in medicine am I able to find an array of diverse cases that never fail to intrigue me. Whilst shadowing a registrar at an orthopaedic hospital I was able to follow a patient from clinic to theatre who suffered from severe arthritis.

This led me to volunteer on a weekly basis for a year at Meadow Wood School for children with physical and neurological impairments; developing the compassion and knowledge to help them cope with their disabilities.”

I gained a lot of insight into the day to day life of doctors in hospital and a general practice environment. However, my most valuable experience was in the voluntary sector as it taught me communication skills that were invaluable. Overall, I think the amount of experience and what it was really doesn’t matter—it’s how you weave it into your personal statement and how you present it that does.

Originally published as: Student BMJ 2015;23:h3359

Competing interests: None declared.

Provenance and peer review: Commissioned; not externally peer reviewed.

personal statement for work experience examples

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  4. 100+ Personal Statement Examples

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  5. Free personal statement example: computer science (download in Word)

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  6. Resume Personal Statements Examples Cool College Essay Personal

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  1. 16 Winning Personal Statement Examples (And Why They Work)

    Here are 16 personal statement examples—both school and career—to help you create your own: 1. Personal statement example for graduate school. A personal statement for graduate school differs greatly from one to further your professional career. It is usually an essay, rather than a brief paragraph. Here is an example of a personal ...

  2. 9 winning personal statement examples for a job

    Here are some examples of personal and professional statements: 1. Personal statement for a postgraduate programme. Joan David Personal statement for master's programme in Public Policy and Administration London School of Policy 'I held my first textbook when I was a 23-year-old undergraduate.

  3. Resume Personal Statement: How to Write & 7+ Good Examples

    Committed to creating user-friendly software and passionate about continual learning and growth. 7. Restaurant server. In a customer-facing role, such as a server, your personal statement is a good place to let hiring managers know what kind of customer experience you'll provide.

  4. How To Write a Good Personal Statement (With Examples)

    Include information that describes more about you than the details in your transcript. 5. Identify your plans for the future. Part of your personal statement can include future goals and ambitions. Explain what can happen if you gain acceptance to the university of your choice or you receive the job you want.

  5. 17 CV personal statement examples 2024

    CV templates 17 CV personal statement examples. To start this guide, I have included 10 examples of good personal statements, to give you an idea of how a personal statement should look, and what should be included.. Note: personal statements are generally used by junior candidates - if you are experienced, check out our CV profile examples instead.

  6. How to Write a Resume Personal Statement (6 Tips + Examples)

    A resume personal statement should include: Between 50 and 200 words in 3 - 4 sentences. Your title or function, for example "Junior developer" or "Passionate hospitality manager". An opening hook. Soft skills and hard skills. Impressive facts and stats. Your short and/or long-term goals.

  7. How to Write a CV Personal Statement [+4 Real-life Examples]

    Do not switch between first- and third-person as that will get confusing to the hiring manager. Writing a personal statement for your CV in first-person does not mean you need to start every sentence with "I.". There are ways to craft your personal statement to sound snappy, concise and personal, and here are a few examples to help inspire ...

  8. How to write a personal statement for a job

    A personal statement for a job should be concise and to the point, ideally around 150 words or 2-3 sentences. Keep it brief while highlighting your key skills and experiences that are relevant to the role. Employers appreciate concise personal statements that efficiently convey your suitability for the job.

  9. How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement

    For a university application, discuss what parts of the program or school align with your passions. Your university introduction should be a full paragraph. 2. Expand on relevant skills, interests and experiences. The body of your personal statement lets you share more about your relevant skills, interests and experiences.

  10. How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

    Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren't great in core courses, or perhaps you've never worked in the field you're applying to. Make sure to address the ...

  11. Work Experience & Your Personal Statement: How To

    Examples Of Work Experience. Perhaps the greatest obstacle to writing your work experience personal statement is determining whether an activity counts as "work experience" or not. Here are examples of work experience you may need to include: Extracurricular Activities; These are activities that are not included within your formal curriculum.

  12. Personal statement examples

    In other words, what you write as a school leaver will look a lot different to someone who has many years of previous work experience. To help you find the right one for you, here are some real personal statement examples - and how you can use them to make your CV stand out: Free CV Template. Free CV Template. Email address:

  13. How to Write Your Personal Statement

    A personal statement is a short essay of around 500-1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you're applying. To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application, don't just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to ...

  14. CV Personal Statement Examples and Tips

    The personal statement on your CV is the one place where it's okay to talk about yourself in the third person. However, using pronouns, for example, "he is a conscientious worker with 12 years of experience..." is a step too far. Instead, drop the pronouns, so that would become "A conscientious worker with 12 years of experience…".

  15. 17 resume personal statement examples 2024

    Resume templates 17 resume personal statement examples. To start this guide, I have included 10 examples of good personal statements, to give you an idea of how a personal statement should look, and what should be included.. Note: personal statements are generally used by junior candidates - if you are experienced, check out our resume summary examples instead.

  16. CV Personal Statement: Examples and Actionable Tips

    A good personal statement is about 3-4 sentences long and occupies not more than 1/4th of the page. Alternatively, you can design a two-column CV and allocate the upper sidebar area for your personal statement. As a recent survey found, 77% of recruiters prefer two-column CVs to single-column ones.

  17. 12 Outstanding Personal Statement Examples + Why They Work 2024

    Example #3 - 12. Example #4 - Flying. Example #5 - Arab Spring in Bahrain. Example #6 - Poop, Animals and the Environment. Example #7 - Entoptic Phenomena. Example #8 - The Builder & Problem Solver. Example #10 - The Little Porch and a Dog (With Spanish Translation) Example #10 - Life As an Undocumented Student.

  18. Strong Social Work Personal Statement Examples

    Social Work Personal Statement Example 1. In the vast and dynamic field of social work, where every action holds the potential to transform people's lives in meaningful ways, I find myself both humbled and impassioned by the experiences that have shaped my journey. From my earliest life encounters to my current professional role, the pursuit ...

  19. Academic Personal Statement Guide + Examples for 2024

    Academic Vs CV Personal Statement 7 Steps to Write an Academic Personal Statement #1. Read the Brief (Carefully!) #2. Research the Program #3. Plan Your Statement #4. Look at Example Statements #5. Structure the Contents #6. Pay Attention to the Language #7.

  20. How to Write a Personal Statement

    Watch out for cliches like "making a difference," "broadening my horizons," or "the best thing that ever happened to me." 3. Stay focused. Try to avoid getting off-track or including tangents in your personal statement. Stay focused by writing a first draft and then re-reading what you've written.

  21. Personal Statement: Work Experience

    Work experience is important for a personal statement because it demonstrates the candidate's relevant skills, knowledge, and work ethic. It can show how the candidate has applied their skills in real-world situations and how they have developed professionally. This information can be valuable to employers or universities when considering ...

  22. 10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

    Personal Statement Examples. Essay 1: Summer Program. Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American. Essay 3: Why Medicine. Essay 4: Love of Writing. Essay 5: Starting a Fire. Essay 6: Dedicating a Track. Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders. Essay 8: Becoming a Coach.

  23. Writing about your work experience in your personal statement—case examples

    My main work experience placement during sixth form was volunteering at a care home for elderly people for almost a year. The application process was straightforward: I called the care home, was sent an application pack in the post, and was then interviewed by the manager a few weeks later. The placement involved visiting once a week for a few ...

  24. Best Skills to Put on a Resume With No Experience

    It can also include work you may have done as a member of a club or organization," Yarrington says. Examples of skills to put on a resume with no experience. OK, you understand now that your resume should be tailored to each job. But to get you started, here are 16 great skills to put on a resume with no experience—from soft to hard skills.