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Slightly Comedic Ceremony

My Favorite Ceremony with a little humor thrown in

“We wanted a ceremony that was funny, sweet, and could hold the crowds attention, Alan delivered all that and beyond.”     Source: Shanise J- THE KNOT

This comedic ceremony is for our fun loving couple.

We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, the joining of two hearts. In this ceremony today we will witness the joining GROOM/BRIDE and GROOM/BRIDE in marriage.

Today we have come together to witness the joining of these two lives. For them, out of the routine of ordinary life, the extraordinary has happened. They met each other, fell in love and are finalizing it with their wedding today. Romance is fun, but true love is something far more and it is their desire to love each other for life and that is what we are celebrating here today.

But today is also a celebration for the rest of us, for it is a pleasure for us to see love in bloom, and to participate in the union of two people so delightfully suited to one another. And to have a couple of cocktails in the process. 

So let’s get on with it already!

Words of Wisdom

A good marriage must be created.

In marriage the “little” things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say, ”I love you” at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is standing together and facing the world.

It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is not only marrying the right person — it is being the right partner

VOWS (face each other and hold hands)(repeat after me)

I, GROOM/BRIDE take you GROOM/BRIDE to be my husband/wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.

I will trust you and honor you

I will laugh with you and cry with you.

I will love you faithfully

Through the best and the worst,

Through the difficult and the easy.

Whatever may come I will always be there.

As I have given you my hand to hold

So I give you my life to keep

I, GROOM/BRIDE take you GROOM/BRIDE to be my Husband/Wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish

our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever.

GROOM/BRIDE AND GROOM/BRIDE I would ask that you always treat yourself and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together today.

Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your marriage deserves. When frustration and difficulty assail your marriage – as they do to every relationship at one time or another – focus on what still seems right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.

This way, when clouds of trouble hide the sun in your lives and you lose sight of it for a moment, you can remember that the sun is still there. And if each of you will take responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and happiness.

I Do’s

GROOM/BRIDE do you take GROOM/BRIDE to be your awful wedded Husband/Wife? (“I do”)

Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him/her, and be faithful to him/her?(“I do”)

Do you promise to take out the trash and pick up your clothes off the floor?(“I do”)

And Do you promise to love him/her even when he/she is cranky(“I do”)

Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him/her, and be faithful to him/her? (“I do”)

Do you Promise not to whine at him/her when he/she forgets to take out the trash or pick up his clothes from the floor.(“I do”)

And do you promise to love him/her after he/she has been out all night with the boys/girls.(“I do”)

Ring Exchange (who has the rings) (repeat after me)

There are 3 rings of marriage. The wedding ring, The Engagement ring and the suffering. We hope the latter can be held to a minimum.

I GROOM/BRIDE, take thee, GROOM/BRIDE to be my Husband/Wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise My love to you. And with this ring, I take you as my Husband/Wife, for as long as we both shall live.

I GROOM/BRIDE, take thee GROOM/BRIDE, to be my Husband/Wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise My love to you. And with this ring, I take you as my Husband/Wife, for as long as we both shall live.

Closing Comments

To make your relationship work will take love. This is the core of your marriage and why you are here today.

It will take trust, to know, that in your hearts, you truly want what is best for each other.

It will take dedication, to stay open to one another – and to learn and grow together.

It will take faith, to go forward together, without knowing exactly what the future brings.

And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey you both have pledged to today.

By the power vested in me I now pronounce you . . . . . .

You may kiss your HUSBAND/WIFE.

I would Like to introduce the happy couple

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Altar your thinking: alternative wedding planning

This funny wedding ceremony script is packed with science & pop culture references

When Offbeat Bride reader Gabi told us her sister read a quote from the sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine, we had to learn more! Gabi was generous enough to share her entire funny wedding ceremony script with us lead by her wedding celebrant Julie Trump. They wanted a wedding ceremony script that was intimate, personal, and fun, and Julie certainly delivered! We were happily surprised that there were even more great quotes from Carl Sagan, Neil Gaiman, Doctor Who , Star Trek , and even our favorite existential sitcom, The Good Place .

We love this thorough example of a funny wedding ceremony script filled with readings and quotes from the couple's favorite TV shows and books. Let's dive in!

Celebrant :  Thank you. Everyone may please be seated. 

All of you are here today because in one way or another have been a part of Gabi and Erich’s lives. It gladdens their hearts to be surrounded by their friends and family. They thank you for being here to share in their happiness. 

“We humans have the special fortune of being one of the means by which the universe can comprehend itself. Our awareness is a rare gift, and we should remain grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.  The sum of all our evolution, our thinking and our accomplishments is love. Marriage is a human ritual, symbolizing the unification of two lives. The result of which is a new whole, a unified vantage, greater than the sum of its composing parts. It gives two questioning natures a renewed reason for living. It is the dawn of a new life – and in that new life, a new warmth to the sunshine, a new beauty to the earth, a new appreciation for life itself.” – Carl Sagan

CELEBRANT REMARKS

Celebrant :

To recite a favorite quote of Gabi’s from the TV show, The Good Place :

“If soulmates do exist, they’re not found. They’re made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship.” – The Good Place

9 nonreligious wedding poems to make your guests cry

Nonreligious wedding poems are such an interesting balancing act... You want something emotional and heartfelt, but also a little not too heavy. You want a dash of funny, and a hint of modern -- I mean, not that Robert Fulghum and Captain Corelli’s Mandolin aren't great, but it's nice to introduce your guests to something they haven't heard before

The marriage of Erich and Gabi begins today on the foundation of a long relationship that started six years ago as co-workers at Panera Bread, where they were in training together. Gabi immediately developed a crush on Erich, obvious to all. But it was not until two years later when she left for new employment that their friendship turned a corner … sparked by a trip to Best Buy together, where Erich acted as a consultant to Gabi’s buying her first computer — and ended the day with lunch at Firehouse subs. As they’ve shared time and experiences together over the last few years, their love and understanding of each other have only grown and deepened into a connection that can never be broken. 

Each of us was brought into the world without any decision of our own; each of us was stamped with the condition of mortality from the moment of conception. And so, of the three most significant events in our lives, birth / marriage / and death, it is only in marriage that we have the full power of personal decision.

In the words of author, Elizabeth Gilbert, “People universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend upon you like fine weather if you are fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it ….”

Erich and Gabi stand across from each other to be joined as Husband and Wife because they have chosen each other above the rest. When we feel safe in the presence of our partner, there is no need to hide any part of ourselves for fear of being judged or rejected. There is a gentleness to the presence of love that softens life’s rough edges. It makes us braver to go forth into the world knowing that the shelter of someone’s love awaits us at the end of the day. In choosing to share their lives with one another, Gabi and Erich trust that their lives will be far richer than had they chosen separate journeys through this world. 

Marriage is a spiritual connection of two people united for a common purpose, bringing love and trust into single focus. It’s a commitment not only to love, but also to life, to the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other human relationship can equal; a joining that is promised for a lifetime.

Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller; memories more vivid; commitment unshakable; even anger is felt more keenly, and passes away more quickly. 

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nourishes new life, new experiences, new ways of expressing love throughout the seasons of life. 

CHARGE TO COUPLE

Erich and Gabi, as you head into marriage, remember the words of Doctor Who:

“There’s lots of things you need to get across this Universe. Warp drive … wormhole refractors ….  You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.” – Doctor Who, Season 2, Episode 11. 

At this time, the Bride and Groom invite Gabi’s sister, Hannah, to come forward and read something from the “Boyle-Linetti Wedding” episode of the TV show, Brooklyn Nine Nin e.

Reader steps forward; Celebrant hands printout

“Marriage is a contract. But it’s so much more than that. Marriage is love. It’s commitment. It’s joy. It’s understanding. It’s patience. It’s anger. It’s reconciliation. It’s everything. It’s like oatmeal. It sustains you.”  – Brooklyn 99

Reader returns to seat 

MONITUM  

Celebrant : 

Now I, Julie Trump, an ordained minister, will proceed to officiate this marriage commitment between Erich Peto Alderfer and Gabrielle Dawn Fagan. Let it be understood that, in the words of Commander Deanna Troi:

“Marriage is an agreement to share who you are with someone else … to spend your lives together … to grow old together.”   – Star Trek

DECLARATION OF INTENT

Please hold both hands for the Declaration of Intent. 

Erich and Gabi … Love is a choice, wedded to action.

Celebrant (turning to Groom) : 

Erich, please respond “yes” to signal your intent once I’ve asked you the following:

Do you Erich Alderfer take Gabrielle Fagan as your beloved Wife?

Will you protect her from carbon freezing

And promise to protect her from the Dark Side

Through hyperspace and the far reaches of the galaxy?

Will you love, help and encourage Gabi in all that you say and do?

Will you listen to her thoughts and care for her well-being?

Will you share with her your laughter and your tears?

Do you give your heart to her as her devoted husband now and forever? 

Erich : Yes.

Celebrant (turning to Bride) : 

Gabi, please signal your intent by saying “yes,” in answer to the following: 

Do you take Gabrielle Fagan take Erich Alderfer to be your beloved Husband?

Will you love, help and encourage him in all that you say and do? 

Will you listen to his thoughts and care for his well-being?

Will you share with him your laughter and your tears?

Do you give your heart to him as his devoted Wife now and forever? 

Gabi : Yes.

BLESSING OF HANDS  

To take another’s hand in marriage and jump together into the unknown with hope and bravery is the ultimate act of trust. So at this time, Erich and Gabi perform the Blessing of the Hands. 

These are the hands of your best friend, wise and strong and full of love for you — that are holding yours on your Wedding Day as you promise to love each other today, tomor- row and forever. 

These are the hands that will work alongside yours as you build your future. 

These are the hands that will love and cherish you throughout the years, and with the slightest touch, warm you. 

These are the hands that will hold you when you need comforting. 

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sor- row and tears of joy. 

These are the hands that will help you to hold your family together. 

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. 

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled with age, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just one touch. 

May these hands always reach out to the other’s with love, care and respect. May these hands continue to form a strong partnership that outlasts time. 

As your hands are joined this day, may your hearts and lives be also joined in a union of trust, honesty and love. For: “True love holds with gentle hands the heart it does entwine.” 

WEDDING VOWS

Marriage is a vital social construct. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. Marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. 

At this time, you pledge your love and commitment to one another. 

Erich, you’ll go first.

[COUPLE EXCHANGES VOWS]

A Viking Halloween wedding ceremony script with a weapons exchange

This Viking Halloween wedding ceremony script has it all: a medieval weapons exchange, Dungeons and Dragons, and a whole lot of love. Whether you're having a spooky-themed wedding or a Viking wedding, this Halloween wedding ceremony script will cover all your bases.

RING EXCHANGE

Now to the exchange of wedding rings. As long as your love is complete and continuous — as rounded and continuous as the rings you are about to exchange — your future will be assured. May these rings always reflect the light of your love throughout the years of your life together. 

Celebrant (turning to Groom) :

Erich, please place the ring on the tip of the Bride’s left-hand ring finger and repeat after me. 

Groom places ring on tip of Bride’s left-hand ring finger 

Erich : 

Gabi … with this ring, I marry you. / Wear it with love and joy. / As this ring has no end, / never shall my love for you. 

Groom pushes ring to base of Bride’s finger 

Erich, please hand the Bride the ring. 

Groom hands Bride ring 

Please place the ring on tip of the Groom’s left-hand ring finger and repeat after me. 

Bride places ring on tip of Groom’s left-hand ring finger 

Gabi : 

Erich … with this ring, I marry you. / Wear it with love and joy. / As this ring has no end, / never shall my love for you. 

Bride pushes ring to base of Groom’s finger 

BENEDICTION  

On behalf of all the Bride and Groom’s family and friends, here and a far, I offer a poem by Neil Gaiman, entitled, “This for you, for both of you.”

This for you, for both of you a small poem of happiness filled with small glories and little triumphs a fragile, short cheerful song filled with hope and all sorts of futures Because at weddings we imagine the future Because it’s all about “what happened next?” all the work and negotiation and building and talk that makes even the tiniest happily ever after something to be proud of for a wee forever This is a small thought for both of you like a feather or a prayer a wish of trust and love and hope and fine brave hearts and true Like a tower, or a house made all of bones and dreams and tomorrows and tomorrows and tomorrows – Neil Gaiman

PRONOUNCEMENT  

Erich and Gabrielle … you have publicly declared your love and commitment to one another — and proclaimed your choice to marry before these witnesses by the Blessing of Hands and saying of Wedding Vows … further symbolized by the Exchanging of Rings. Therefore, by the power vested in me under the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, I pronounce that you are Husband and Wife. 

You may kiss the Bride! 

Looking for more funny wedding ceremony script inspo? Search our massive collection featuring everything from nerdy to hilarious to tear-jerking and even non-religious wedding ceremony scripts, plus all things in between.

About the Author: Suki

By day, Suki teaches screenwriting and sketch comedy. By night, she's the Assistant Editor and Social Media Manager of Offbeat Wed. She loves exploring the intersections of diversity, culture, and money in the wedding industry on her IG account @2buckchuckbride. In between crying over strangers' wedding photos and making herself laugh, she likes to pretends she's a sommelier.

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Comments on This funny wedding ceremony script is packed with science & pop culture references

It’ was indeed the best day ever! Probably the most personal and the most beautiful wedding ceremony ever, including my own. Thank you offbeat bride for sharing with the world this beautiful ceremony. Gabi & Erich the beast is yet to come. I love you to infinity and beyond, Mama

Comments are closed.

38 Funny Wedding Toasts That'll Leave Everyone in Tears

• Chapelle writes articles for The Knot Worldwide. She covers all things wedding-related and has a personal interest in covering celebrity engagements and fashion.
• Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Chapelle was an editorial intern for Subvrt Magazine.
• Chapelle has a degree in English writing from Loyola University New Orleans.

If you think you're the funniest person you know but can't put that humor on paper, you might be worried about writing your funny wedding toast. But don't let that blinking cursor on a blank page intimidate you. I've found tons of giggle-worthy inspiration from all my favorite books, movies and public figures to help add pizzazz to your wedding speech . Whether you start or end with one of these funny wedding toast quotes, these are the building blocks to a legendary, laugh-packed wedding reception, rehearsal dinner or engagement party moment.

In this article:

Funny Wedding Toasts

Funny wedding toast quotes.

All these funny wedding toast examples are perfect for people who weren't born with the right kind of funny bone. And if anyone asks you after the toast how'd you come up with something so hilarious, I suggest just laughing loudly and walking away briskly.

Funny, Short Wedding Toasts

Need something short and sweet for your wedding toast? Try one of these, which will be a sure hit during the reception.

1. "[Name of partner one] stole [Name of partner two]'s heart, so [Partner two] stole [Partner one's] last name. All in all, I would say that things worked out quite nicely, considering neither of them ended up in prison..." – Anonymous

2. "A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal. That's unfortunate for these two!" – Anonymous

3. "Here's to you and here's to me, I hope we never disagree, But if, perchance, we ever do, Then here's to me, to hell with you." – Anonymous

4. "I would like to reintroduce the most important people here tonight. We know them, we love them and it's probably why we're all here…the bartenders." – Anonymous

5. "May your marriage be so solid it could last through being on a Bravo reality TV show." – Anonymous

Funny One-Liners for Wedding Toasts

A quick zinger, said in the middle of a serious or sentimental speech, will throw guests off in a good and hysterical way. Just remember to slow down and annunciate so no one misses it.

6. "Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park." – Anonymous

7. "May our children be blessed with rich parents!" – Anonymous

8. "Hello everyone. For those of you who don't know me, I'm [Name of newlywed one]'s and [Name of newlywed two]'s mistress." – Anonymous

9. "May the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out." – Anonymous

10. "I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always." – Anonymous

Funny Wedding Toast Closing Lines

Send guests off with something memorable at the end of your funny wedding toast. Be prepared for lots of high-fives and congratulatory pats on the back.

11. "May we never forget what's worth remembering or remember what's best forgotten." – Anonymous

Find your kind of venue

12. "I'm going to ask everyone to take their glasses–and for those who still can–stand and raise a glass to the newlyweds." – Anonymous

13. "[Name of newlywed one] and [Name of newlywed two], before I finish, I'd like you to turn to face each other. You're now looking into the eyes of the person who's statistically most likely to murder you. To the happy couple!" – Anonymous

14. "I have one final piece of advice for you two lovebirds: never stop laughing, even when the jokes are horrible." – Anonymous

15. "To our best friends, who know the most about us, but refuse to believe it." – Anonymous

16. "May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live." – Anonymous

Here are some popular and unique funny wedding toast quotes from my favorite things and people. If you don't see anything below that you resonate with, use this as inspiration to find quotes from your beloved poems, movies, songs or people.

Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Poems

Love poems come in heavy supply, so surprise guests with a funny wedding quote from one of these poets.

17. "To keep your marriage brimming / With love in the loving cup / Whenever you're wrong, admit it; / Whenever you're right, shut up." – "A Word to Husbands" by Ogden Nash (American poet)

18. "No teacher, preacher, parent, friend / Or wise man can decide / What's right for you—just listen to / The voice that speaks inside." – "The Voice" by Shel Silverstein (American poet and cartoonist)

Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Movies

Snatch your favorite quote from a movie you love to personalize your funny wedding toast and allow guests a sense of familiarity.

19. "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is." – Forrest Gump (1994)

20. "I love you. That's why I make you miserable." – Real Women Have Curves (2002)

21. "I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting." – Love Actually (2003)

22. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." – Knocked Up (2007)

23. "Honestly, if you're not willing to sound stupid you don't deserve to be in love." – A Lot Like Love (2005)

Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Songs

By quoting a song for your wedding toast, you get two choices for how it can be delivered. Ask the DJ to cue the song to play so you can sing along, which will garner laughs, or read it if singing isn't your strong suit.

24. "Can I be the man you're looking for? / Can I be your girl forever more? / I'll try real hard not to lose her / I'll try to be less of a loser" – "F*ck You," by Garfunkel & Oates

25. "I can make you angry, you can make me smile / We can make origami with the kids for a while / You turn me on to the idea of growing old" – "The Idea of Growing Old," by The Features

26. "Remember back when we had problems? Oh man, that was annoying! / But now our love has magically solved them / And there won't be any more in our future at all" – "We'll Never Have Problems Again," by Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast

27. "I'd buy you Rogaine / When you start losing all your hair / Sew on patches / To all you tear" – "The Way I Am," by Ingrid Michaelson

28. "Now when arrows don't penetrate, see (cupid grabs the pistol) / Uh, yeah, now, now lookie here / He shoots straight for your heart / Now, and he won't miss you" – "Happy Valentine's Day," by OutKast

29. "Here is the church and here is the steeple / We sure are cute for two ugly people / I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else / But you" – "Anyone Else But You," by The Moldy Peaches

30. "Here is a heart / I made it for you so take it / Battered and braised / Grilled and sauteed / Just how you like it" – "Here Is a Heart," by Jenny Owen Youngs

Funny Wedding Toast Quotes from Famous People

Sometimes celebrities can have wise words to provide the masses. Use one of these famous quotes for your funny wedding toast.

31 . "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." – Henny Youngman (British-American comedian)

32. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it." – Anne Bancroft (American actress)

33. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." – Rita Rudner (American comedian)

34. "True love is singing karaoke 'Under Pressure' and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part." – Mindy Kaling (American actress and comedian)

35. "Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." – Henry Kissinger (Former United States Secretary of State)

36. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are." – Will Ferrell (American actor and comedian)

37. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." – Charles M. Schulz (American cartoonist)

38. "If I didn't do this well, I just wouldn't have anything to do…I can't cook, and I'd be a terrible housewife." – Freddie Mercury (British singer and songwriter)

10 Inspiring Wedding Officiant Speech Ideas and Templates for a Memorable Ceremony

Need assistance with your wedding speech? Discover the first AI-powered wedding speech generator! Craft the perfect speech for your special day with ease. Simply provide your email here and say, 'I want to use the AI-generated wedding speech maker.' Let's make your moment unforgettable

Standing before a couple on their wedding day can be as nerve-wracking as it is exciting. A well-crafted officiant speech sets the tone for a memorable celebration of love . Our blog provides keys to unlocking heartfelt and inspiring words that will resonate long after the couple says "I do." Discover templates, anecdotes, and advice to transform public speaking jitters into a performance that warms hearts.

Get ready to inspire love!

Key Takeaways

• Prepare and practice your speech to speak with confidence.
• Gather details about the couple's story for a personal touch.
• Keep your officiant speech short and sincere .
• Use poems, quotes, or anecdotes to make your message stand out.
• Avoid long, formal speeches and inside jokes that exclude guests .

How to Prepare for a Wedding Officiant Speech

Prepare for a wedding officiant speech by thinking of the ceremony as a theater play, gathering background information on the couple, deciding on the tone and style of your speech, and considering incorporating personal stories or quotes.

These steps will help you create a heartfelt and memorable wedding officiant speech.

Think of the ceremony as a theater play

Treat the wedding ceremony like a stage performance . Each word you speak is part of the script that guides the couple into their new life together. As an officiant, you play a lead role in creating a memorable scene.

Everyone's eyes will be on you as you tell the love story and unite two people in marriage.

Use clear voice and movements to keep your audience engaged, just like actors do. Make sure your speech has rhythm and emotion to touch the hearts of all watching. Deliver each line with confidence to make this beautiful day unforgettable for everyone involved, especially the bride and groom.

Gather background information on the couple

Before writing a wedding officiant speech , gather important information about the couple. Understand their love story, shared experiences , and what makes their relationship special .

Learn about their values, beliefs, and what they cherish in each other . Keywords: Wedding officiant speech ideas, Wedding ceremony script, Vows.

Decide on the tone and style of your speech

Choose the tone and style that best suits the couple and the wedding. Consider whether a traditional, humorous, or sentimental approach would be most fitting. Remember to gather background information on the couple to tailor your speech accordingly.

Incorporate personal stories or quotes for a heartfelt touch. Keep in mind that there are numerous types of wedding officiant speeches, including nonreligious options , so feel free to explore various styles before making your decision.

Using emotional, inspiring, or lighthearted elements can help make your speech memorable and impactful. Whether you opt for a funny wedding minister speech or a touching same-sex wedding officiant script, ensure it aligns with the overall atmosphere of the ceremony.

Consider incorporating personal stories or quotes

Incorporate personal stories or quotes to add a heartfelt touch to the wedding officiant speech. Share a memorable moment with the couple or use a meaningful quote that reflects their relationship, enhancing the emotional impact of the speech.

Infuse your wedding officiant speech with personal anecdotes and inspirational quotes , connecting on an emotional level while celebrating the special bond between the couple. This adds warmth and sincerity to your words, making it a truly unforgettable moment for everyone involved.

Sample Wedding Officiant Speech Templates

From traditional wedding officiant speeches to funny and same-sex wedding scripts, we've got you covered with a variety of speech templates that will help make the ceremony memorable.

Read on for inspiration and ideas to personalize your wedding officiant speech.

Traditional wedding officiant speech

Consider incorporating religious or cultural traditions that are important to the couple. Share inspiring words about love and commitment based on timeless values . It's essential to respectfully honor the sanctity of marriage while delivering a heartfelt, memorable message.

Endeavor to make the ceremony meaningful and inclusive for all guests. Incorporating classic customs such as exchanging of rings, vows, or blessings can add depth and significance to the occasion.

Keep in mind that a traditional wedding officiant speech should convey warmth, reverence, and celebrate the unifying bond of love between the couple.

Wedding officiant speech for a friend's wedding

Crafting a wedding officiant speech for a friend's wedding requires thoughtfulness and personal touches . Incorporating anecdotes about the couple can help create an emotional connection with the audience.

Sharing heartfelt wishes and emphasizing the strength of their bond adds depth to the speech. Choosing a warm and celebratory tone is essential in creating an engaging and memorable experience for both the couple and their guests.

The templates provided offer various styles, from traditional to light-hearted, ensuring that your wedding officiant speech resonates with your friend's special day. Embracing the uniqueness of your friendship while highlighting the couple's love story will make for an impactful and unforgettable ceremony script.

Same-sex wedding officiant script and speech

Crafting a meaningful same-sex wedding officiant script and speech involves celebrating love without any restrictions . Include the couple's journey, share empowering quotes or poems , embrace their unique bond in the wedding ceremony script.

Incorporate personal touches to reflect their joyous union in the same-sex wedding officiant speech samples provided, making it a heartfelt and memorable celebration of love for all involved.

Funny wedding minister speech

Crafting a funny wedding minister speech can add a touch of humor to the ceremony, making it memorable for everyone. Incorporating light-hearted anecdotes about the couple can bring laughter and joy to the occasion.

Using wit and good-natured humor in the speech can help ease any tension and create a lighthearted atmosphere . It's an opportunity to celebrate love with laughter, ensuring an unforgettable moment for the couple and their guests.

By infusing amusing stories or playful remarks into your funny wedding minister speech, you can bring warmth and levity to the ceremony, creating cherished memories for all involved.

Tips for an Inspiring Wedding Officiant Speech

Tell the couple's love story, read a meaningful poem or excerpt, share a personal message on commitment, and offer words of advice and well wishes for a memorable ceremony.

Tell the couple's love story

Share the couple's unique love story with heartfelt details , adding a personal touch to the wedding officiant speech. Include memorable moments and experiences that highlight their journey together, underscoring their bond and commitment.

Involve specific anecdotes that resonate with both the couple and the audience, making it an integral part of the memorable ceremony.

Crafting a meaningful narrative around the couple's love story can add depth and emotional resonance to your wedding officiant speech, creating a touching and memorable experience for all in attendance.

Read a meaningful poem or excerpt

Incorporate the couple's love story into your officiant speech. Enhance it with a meaningful poem or excerpt that resonates with their journey. Select a passage from literature or a personalized message to emphasize commitment and love , adding depth to the ceremony script.

Engage the audience by sharing an emotional yet concise reading , reinforcing well wishes for the couple's future. A thoughtfully chosen poem or excerpt can become a poignant centerpiece in your wedding officiant speech, leaving a lasting impact on everyone present at the ceremony.

Share a personal message on commitment

Craft your personal message on commitment by using the couple's love story and experiences to illustrate the significance of dedication in marriage. Incorporate meaningful quotes, anecdotes or shared memories to emphasize the depth of commitment required for a lasting union.

Encourage them with words of support and understanding as they embark on this lifelong journey together, reinforcing that commitment is the cornerstone of a strong and enduring marriage .

This personal message on commitment can be an essential part of your wedding officiant speech, providing a heartfelt touch that resonates with the couple and enriches their special day.

Offer words of advice and well wishes

In offering words of advice and well wishes, remember to personalize your speech to reflect the couple's unique journey. Use their love story as inspiration, and consider including a meaningful poem or excerpt to add depth to your message of commitment.

Keep your speech concise and heartfelt , avoiding overly formal tones. Lastly, practice beforehand to ensure you deliver a memorable and touching wedding officiant speech that celebrates the couple's special day.

Remember not to make the speech too long or bring up inside jokes or embarrassing stories; instead, focus on expressing genuine well wishes for the future of the newlyweds based on their individual love story .

The Dos and Don'ts of Wedding Officiant Speeches

Keep it concise and heartfelt, preparing and practicing beforehand. Avoid bringing up inside jokes or embarrassing stories, making the speech too long or overly formal.

Do: Prepare and practice beforehand

Prepare and practice your wedding officiant speech before the ceremony to ensure confidence and fluency. Familiarize yourself with the couple's background and consider their preferences for tone and style.

Rehearse the speech to become comfortable with its delivery, ensuring it comes across as heartfelt and sincere.

Engage in thorough preparations well ahead of time to craft a memorable wedding officiant speech that resonates with the couple and guests. Practice speaking aloud to gauge timing, flow, and emotional resonance while communicating the message effectively.

Do: Keep it concise and heartfelt

When crafting your wedding officiant speech, prioritize brevity and sincerity to keep the audience engaged. Share genuine emotions and concise well-wishes for the couple's future using heartfelt language .

Remember to avoid long tangents or overly formal language, as simplicity and authenticity will resonate with the audience.

Incorporate personal touches in your speech by including meaningful anecdotes or quotes that are relevant to the couple, ensuring that every word reflects your sincere feelings. By maintaining a heartfelt and succinct tone throughout your speech, you can leave a lasting impression on the couple and their guests while conveying your genuine support for their union.

Don't: Bring up inside jokes or embarrassing stories

Avoid referencing private jokes or embarrassing moments in your speech to maintain a respectful and inclusive atmosphere during the ceremony. Keep the focus on heartwarming and universal anecdotes that celebrate the couple's love and commitment .

This will ensure that everyone feels included and uplifted by your words, creating a memorable experience for all involved.

Don't: Make it too long or overly formal

Keep your wedding officiant speech concise and heartfelt . Avoid making it overly formal or extending it for too long. Remember to focus on the couple's love story and offer genuine well wishes and advice.

Avoid making your wedding officiant speech unnecessarily lengthy or excessively rigid in formality . Keep the tone warm, personal, and keep your words brief yet meaningful. Consider incorporating a touch of humor to engage the audience while maintaining sincerity throughout your speech.

In conclusion, crafting a memorable wedding officiant speech is within reach. With diverse templates and helpful tips provided in this article, writing an inspiring wedding ceremony script becomes achievable for anyone.

The practical ideas and strategies outlined here ensure that creating a meaningful and heartfelt speech is both simple and effective. How will you weave these insights into your own unique wedding officiant speech? Consider the impact of infusing personal stories, well-chosen quotes, or even touching poetry into the ceremony.

This approach promises to elevate the significance of the occasion while resonating with all who attend. As you embark on this journey to create an exceptional wedding officiant speech, remember - every thoughtful word has the power to etch indelible memories in the hearts of all those present.

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How to Write a Funny Wedding Speech

Funny speeches writing tips.

• Best Man Funny Wedding Speeches
• Maid Of Honor Wedding Speeches
• Funny Groom Wedding Speeches
• Funny Bride Wedding Speeches
• Funny Wedding Speeches For All Guests
• Wedding Party & Reception

Best Funny Wedding Speeches Examples You Can Use

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Funny wedding speeches – are the best way to keep the guests engaged and everyone relaxed and happy. “While you might face some challenges in writing the perfect variant, they are always worth it in the end. First, a funny wedding speech seems shorter than it actually is. Time flies by when the audience is having fun. Second, it’s more memorable. Think of the wedding speeches you can remember and it’s most likely going to be the one that had everyone laughing (or theone that lasted what seemed like for ever with no jokes).” , – Marc Blakewill , an experienced speech writer.

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Give your listeners a laugh or two with these hilarious and witty wedding speech samples, and the tips you need to make your own.

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It can seem daunting, but it’s worth spending the time and effort to make your wedding speech both heartfelt and funny. With the professional guidance of Marc Blakewill , an expert in crafting wedding speeches, you can navigate this with ease. Follow Marc’s detailed instructions, and you’ll confidently deliver a speech that resonates with sincerity and humor.

So, how best to write a funny wedding speech?

Tone and style

• Mix the heartfelt and comedic – even if you want a speech that is funny from top to bottom, do include the sincere and heartfelt. Think of it like setting off the colour of a precious stone in a ring. With a bit of sentiment, you get more comedic dazzle.
• Match it to your personality – if you’re not a natural joke-teller, don’t feel the need to have lots of one-liners in your speech. Focus more on light-hearted stories. Something that sounds like you will be more memorable and valued by the guests. It’s also easier to be “you”!
• Keep it as original as you can – avoid the temptation to use old jokes from the internet. They tend to stick out like sore thumbs. If you’re not confident in writing one of your own, using one near the top as an icebreaker is fine. Any more than that and you’re in danger of becoming a cliché-delivery system.

It’s time to treat the blank screen or piece of paper as your friend. It’s your speech and you have the freedom to craft it how you want. How wonderful is that! So, here are some pointers on how to generate funny wedding speech ideas.

• The location or venue – is there a joke about how far people have had to travel or how much difficulty they had finding the venue? Is the venue so posh and glamourous you thought you’d be refused entry?
• Topical – has there just been a national celebration or sporting triumph that this wedding totally eclipses? Even if it’s a small gathering, don’t be afraid to praise the occasion to the skies. Everyone loves to feel part of something special.
• How you met – was it at work, at college, in a bar? Bring this to life. What were your first impressions and have they been confirmed? If you’re Father of the Bride, you could talk about the day of your daughter’s birth. How you bravely dealt with all the pain and stress!
• How long have you known each other – if it’s a long time, why not draw a parallel with something historical? Has your friendship or relationship outlasted the terms of several presidents?
• Link the past to the present – did the bride or groom do something as a child or teenager that might explain their current career or lifestyle? Did the accident-prone kid become a nurse or doctor? Did the wannabe popstar end up as an accountant?
• Everyday things – does the groom or bride have any weird hobbies you could mention? Or maybe a funny turn-of-phrase? Do they insist on checking the front door is locked three.times before leaving their home? You don’t need outlandish stories. Their everyday life and everyday behaviour can be a great source of humour.
• Spoof marriage advice – if you’re the Best Man or Father of the Bride, you could give a few pieces of quick, silly advice. Personalise it to the couple and you’ll get instant recognition and laughs. Fun areas could include: too much time on the golf course; shopping like there’s no tomorrow and there’s no credit card bill; forgiving each other’s faults – the ones they can reveal now they’re married!
• The simpler the better – your speech really can be as simple as beginning, middle and end. Warm everyone up with some opening fun remarks or jokes, make a few thanks and welcomes (not needed if you’re the Best Man), tell your main stories then finish with some more sentimental moments and a toast.
• Link your stories – a speech that flows is more likely to get laughs. So, ensure your stories come in a natural order. This could be in time order or linked by theme e.g. group the groom’s silly little ways together, the bride’s changing childhood ambitions, etc.

Polishing it

• Writing is rewriting – the illusion of a great speech is that it came fully formed from the writer’s head. It didn’t. It was written then re-written. So, put your first draft away and come back to it at least one or two more times. You’ll spot the stuff that doesn’t work in a heartbeat.
• If you’re not sure of a line, lose it – be strict here. if you’re doubtful when reading it in the comfort of your living room, imagine how you’ll feel in front of an audience. The best speeches are the ones that have had dodgy lines surgically removed.
• Read it out loud – this is the best way to find out how your speech flows. Did it feel awkward jumping from one section to another? Tweak it. Did a line leave your breathless as you struggled to the end? Shorten it. Did a joke make your smile as you read it? Keep it! Your voice is a free resource, so use it.

What To Joke About In Wedding Speech?

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It can be quite tricky giving your wedding speech and knowing what to say and when. With funny wedding speeches, it is also important to know where to draw the line with jokes. Below you will find a few helpful tips.

• Select your target and build your premise around them. Funny wedding speeches may center on the strict dad, sweet daughter or straight-faced groom. The point is to keep the humor affectionate and leave heartwarming tributes towards the end.
• Put down everything that comes to mind when you think about your target in writing. It may be their taste in music, best foods, stand out qualities, weird dress sense or obsession.
• Turn these qualities into comedic characters. Is the groom obsessed with keeping tidy while the bride can’t account for one leg of her shoes? Will the groom do a double-take to the prices at flea markets while the bride spends like a Kardashian? Work with their contrasts.
• Tell the guests something they don’t already know about the couple. Did the groom win a ballet competition as a teenager? Did the bride do street rap in college? Genuinely amazing yet unlikely skills for such a sophisticated couple to make funny jokes.
• Exaggerate these happenings a little. If the couple is great or bad at a thing, then exaggerate a bit. For instance, if the groom is great at soccer, say something like, “his left leg has more coordination than New York’s traffic.”
• Involve the guests. You could start with a comical question that includes them or mention something funny about the bride or groom.
• Don’t forget the toast. You could insert a funny wedding quote here, would be all the better.

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If your role involves you giving a speech at a wedding, use these tips as a general guideline.

• Acknowledge the crowd: It is important to recognize your audience, make them a part of your speech.
• Backstories: While introducing yourself, you could chip in how you know the couple, if there’s a comical story there, you could add that too.
• Get the guests involved: Whether you’re giving funny wedding speeches as the best man or maid of honor, involving the guests is always a good idea. You could ask them a funny question that loosens them up.
• Take a walk down memory lane: Say something about the groom or even the couple. It might have been a double date or your first meeting, but anecdotes make the best jokes when they are pulled from the truth.
• Make fun of yourself: Be self-deprecating. If you are able to laugh at yourself, others will too.
• Poke fun at the couple: Tease the couple, but lightly. Be careful not to cross any lines, such as talking about any of their exes or anything that could be embarrassing.
• Make it quick: Try to keep your speech under seven minutes. Short is best, but not too short that you barely say a thing.
• End on a high note: Get the audience on their feet as you raise a toast to the couple.

Best Man Funny Wedding Speeches Examples

If you are the best man, chances are that you share a stronger bond with the husband than the wife. Hence, the funny wedding speeches best man gives are what we call the “guys talk”, which is more concentrated on the groom. He surely has more to say about the groom than the bride, but a good speech creates a balance. He must take notice and acknowledge the bride, letting her know how sweet her groom is.

“Afford me the grace to welcome everyone here today for coming all the way to celebrate Emerald and James. It’s an honor to stand in for my brother today as his best man, and my name is Joshua. My dad is quite fascinated with the letter “J”. Our other two brothers are Julius and Jefferson (shakes head). Before I start, I want to acknowledge that my brother can be quite a stunner when he cleans up. Just.look.at.him… And the bride? Who has seen a vision more beautiful? Okay, I have a bragging right, and that’s the fact that I brought this couple together. I think I deserve an extra flute of wine. It happened on one of our many adventures at fishing, we met this beauty, my new sister. My brother was so shy he pushed me to talk to her. I think he was fascinated that a lady fishes with such expertise. Well, we chatted, and I pulled my brother into the chat. We realized that she’s blunt, sweet, smart, and funny. For a laid-back brother, I knew she is the one that can bring him out of his shell. I told him there and then to go see her father. But I think I lost my brother in the process. He never called me to fish anymore, he went with her instead (sad face). Yet, I’m the happiest today (grins). She brings out the light in his eyes. From fishing to grape picking, and many months later, you’re permanently locked together. My brother, the calm level headed genius, selfless and serious, sweet and generous, finds a wife. Who would have thought? James never had time for these things, but see! I’d die a happy man. Both of you are meant for each other, and I pray the love that binds you never breaks. Be each other’s solace always, and no mountain will be too high. I love you, brother, and I adore you, my sister. Happy married life!”

Funny Quotes For Wedding Speeches From Maid Of Honor

The maid of honor and the bride share a great relationship that’s why she snagged the MOH spot. So, we are in for one of the most hilarious wedding speeches because there’s a lot to tell. From growing up to going through life and all the escapades, the maid of honor speech is a funny yet emotional one.

The maid of honor uses every information and public worthy stories at her disposal to pay tribute to the bride. She also goes ahead to mention the groom to understand his luck, even as she makes the guests laugh. See the perfect example below.

“It’s my sincere pleasure to welcome everyone here today. In case you don’t know me, I’m Mackenzie, the maid of honor and bride’s best friend. But I know practically everyone here today. So, I and my friend, the bride (Emerald) made a pact many years ago that we’d be each other’s maid of honor. She said even if we were pregnant and ready to pop, we’d still fill that slot for each other (smiles). Well, here I am today, after many years fulfilling that duty, because that sweet man swept her off her feet. In truth, I don’t know how I and Emerald remain, friends since we met in college. Our meeting is a story for another day. On many occasions, she has left me at the market to go back home, because she simply hates the market. Then I get back home stressed after doing a good deed of handling both our shopping. But she burns my hands with a spoon because I want to pick one slice of beef as she cooks… So much for appreciation. Well, she’s the cook between the two of us anyway. But she compensates with some sweetness. She doesn’t ever want to see me sad, she’d give me a million slices of beef instead. All the fun times we’ve shared as we comfort each other by visiting our favorite snack spot. Times we’ve shared heartfelt talks amidst laughter while munching chips as we watch that your program into the night. I don’t know how I survived to watch that stuff. Yet, you’re everything Emerald, everything and more. Like your name, you’re loyal, peaceful, faithful, balance and love unconditionally. That I am resilient, selfless, upright and emphatic is because of you. I hope you take these qualities even as you forge on in life. I’m sure that you’ll have a successful love life and domestic bliss like your name symbolizes. I love you bestie, you don’t know how much. James (groom), you’ve found a treasure in her, I tell you. Kindly make sure you wipe the kitchen work table clean after use because if she sees it dirty, you don’t want to find out… Remember, for better or worse doesn’t mean you should hurt each other. It means you’ll hold on to each other no matter what life throws at you. Hold steadfast unto each other. Today, I wish you life’s best, and I send you forth with all my Love.”

Funny Grooms Wedding Speeches

Pass around the tissue box guys, because a well thought out groom speech will get you teary. How so? A lot of men don’t do the emotional thing, because they come across as hardcore. But watching a man look at his bride with so much love in his eyes, saying such sweet things about them… Ah!

He talks about his search, possibly many disappointments, love at first sight, or unlikely circumstances to meeting her. Then he injects humor in his speech. Maybe their first date, things they do together, etc. Everyone smiles through their tears. See an amazing template example.

“Let me start by welcoming everyone to this blissful occasion of my wedding. If you’re wondering why I’m nervous… Well, I’m the groom, and the bills for one makes me nervous. We just love you all so much and wish you shared in our day, that we made a long guest list. That’s some bill we raked. Again, Emerald says I don’t listen, so I’m being very careful with what I say right now. I don’t want to spend my first day of married life in the dog house. But you see, I have a beautiful bride, so it’s enough to calm me. Talking about beauty, Emerald is beautiful, both in and out. And I’d say I’m the luckiest and most blessed man on the planet. I mean, who’d spill his drink on a siren, without getting a slap? I did as I was busy looking at this vision in red on the 15th of November 2010. She just smiled and said she gets that all the time, and that’s how we met. She’s also very smart, I can’t get one over her. Her brain has a timer or something because she never forgets. If I tell her to wake me in 20 minutes, I get woken at exactly that time, even if she also went to sleep. Those are the times I want to cry because can’t she just forget?! Yet, that’s one quality that makes her a force to reckon. She pushes me to be better, obsessed with time management that my life has seen a drastic change. My friends are even shocked that I made it early to my wedding — the emerald effect. How I love this woman, she complements me perfectly. I want to thank her for bringing more light into my life. I also want to thank my parent’s in-law for breeding such queen. Yes, she’s regal. They did perfect! And my parents, thank you for helping me spot gold and treasuring it. You remain idols. To everyone else, thank you for making today great and unforgettable.”

Funny Wedding Speeches From The Bride

We are halfway through the tissue box at this time because the bride is all blush and giggles — with starry eyes as she gives her speech. As a bride, your speech will be an emotional one, so a lot of humor is quite needed for a perfect balance.

You’ll talk about you and your journey to being Mrs. You’d touch on what makes you tick and the qualities that make your groom the perfect one. From these qualities, you’d make funny wedding speeches that will get your guests laughing. For some help with bride speech, we’ve given an example below.

“It is common knowledge that I find it hard to keep quiet. Well, today is my day and it won’t be an exception. So, first, let me welcome everyone that has come to share in I and James’s special day. I hope you feel as much love as I’m feeling now. Also, I would have treasured the presence of my grandma today, but I know she’s proud of me. Gran, I know you can see me from up there, I’m a big girl now (teary smile). So, permit me, but can you see my man? Call me conceited, but he’s such a hunk! I’ve had the blessing of being with this man for 5 years, and today I can call him husband (blushes). I want to thank him for being who he is. Sweet, loving, smart, meticulous and selfless. James loves me right and honors me always, except when he’s getting orange seedlings stuck in the blender. And pray to tell why he’d always fall asleep when we are watching my favorite show? But you see, that’s one of the things I love about him. Talk about support, even when it’s inconvenient for him. Babe, you challenge me and push me to be better with your lifestyle. I love you anyhow, warts and all. James has made my life fun and meaningful. I also want to thank persons who have made today a success. From my parent’s in-law that raised such fine young man, to my parents, the dream of all children. I also want to appreciate everyone that helped put today together. May you experience love so true and so pure. I love you all.”

Funny Wedding Speeches Examples For All Guests

It is within etiquette that a wedding speech must focus on the couple while talking great about them. Funny wedding speeches even do much better, because infusing jokes in your speech gets more attention. Weddings are already emotional as it is, so we’d consider these kinds of speeches as the icebreakers.

The jokes you throw on the couple depends on the relationship you share. It also depends on how much you know them, and what they can take. Great funny wedding speech brings on laughter without it going south. If you need inspiration, see some funny wedding speeches examples below.

By Chris Haywood

“Can I start my speech by welcoming the guests? Today, we are quite surrounded by most of the friends and family that have been important to us during our lives. Some have traveled thousands of miles, just to be here today. On behalf of Owen, Patrick and Bonney, Hazel and I – We welcome you all and thank you sincerely for sharing this special day with us. As about half of you will know, this is my second father-of-the-bride speech in less than a year. To misquote Oscar Wilde from “The Importance of Being Ernest” – to lose one daughter may be well considered unlucky. To lose two is careless! Well, I guess that’s OK – because my being careless is how they came to be here in the first place. Making the father of the bride’s speech, I feel a bit like a Sheik walking into his harem for the first time. I know what I’ve got to do, I just don’t know where to start. You will all be quite pleased to learn that my speech will be every bit as good as last time. In fact, my side of the family will probably remember great chunks of it! Not really, although I am following the same format. This means it will probably start badly, sag in the middle with long silences, and then trail off into a lot of incoherent rambling. To be honest, I did try to memorize this speech – but forgive me if I resort to my notes every 5 seconds. I asked for an autocue to be set up in front of me. Apparently, the wedding budget doesn’t stretch that far… and neither does my eyesight. Patrick, we are quite delighted to welcome you into the family. By now, you must be wondering what on earth you have let yourself in for. I want you to know that Hazel and I took it to you instantly. You are a kind and considerate man who deserves a good wife. Thank goodness you married Bonney before you found one! I am only kidding, of course. There is nothing in the world to match the thrill of seeing your first child born. Bonney was a beautiful baby. She still is beautiful – in every sense of the word – and she has continued to fill our lives with happiness and pride. Everyone knows that Bon is a rolling stone – and couldn’t wait to leave home and find new adventures at University. Since then she has made many firm friends, some of whom are decidedly odd – but I’ll say no more about that because most of the odd ones seem to be here today. Now, where was I? Patrick… I expect you may have noticed Pat’s getting on a bit – a few grey hairs already – so it’s taken him some time to find his Miss Right. In fact, his best man tells me he once sent his picture off to a Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back, with a note saying they weren’t that lonely! Patrick is a rugby player – or so I am told. I took the time to ask some of his mates how good he was, where his best position was. To cut a long story short, he seems to be terrible in every position! I’m sure there’s a joke there somewhere… but never mind. I have to say that Bonney and Patrick are extremely well suited, aren’t they? They’re happy and they love each other. That should be enough to see them through life together. It has been well said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership. Whoever said that knows nothing about women and even less about fractions. I asked Pat recently what he was looking for in marriage. He said love, happiness and eventually a family. I asked Bon the same question. She replied “A coffee percolator.” She said a “perky copulator” but I knew what she meant… As you all know, fathers of the bride get to make the first speech. To be honest with you, it’s a bit like being invited to sleep with the Queen Mother. It’s a great honor – but you don’t want to do it! And what about the bridesmaids? Didn’t they look lovely, in the church? Having seen all the Ushers, I thought for a minute I’d accidentally wandered onto the set of “Seven Brides for seven brothers”. I started planning this speech a month ago. And you must feel like I’ve been delivering it equally as long. And I haven’t quite finished yet. Because my next toast is to the bride and groom. This reminds me of the wedding I once went to where the two of the guests were a minister and a priest. When the priest was offered a drink for the toast he said: “I’ll have a large whiskey please”. When the minister was also offered the same, he said “No thanks. I’d rather go with a scarlet woman than touch the demon alcohol”. The priest promptly put his whiskey back on the tray and said: “I didn’t know there was a choice!” Now I don’t want to offend anybody, so if there’s a priest or a minister present, I apologize. And if there’s a scarlet woman here, I’ll meet you in the bar in 10 minutes! Thank you for your indulgence. Without further delay, I’ll ask you to join me in a toast to my beautiful daughter, the bride, and her handsome husband, the groom.”

By John Gallagher

“Good evening everyone, for those of you that don’t know me, my name is John and I’m Katie’s dad. I am delighted to welcome you here tonight to celebrate the Marriage of Katie and Simon. I know that many of you have traveled many thousands of Kilometers to be here in Umea Umio, Sweden, with us today. On behalf of Pippa, Inga, Borje, and myself; I would like to welcome you all here today to help celebrate the marriage of Katie and Simon. I apologize if the accent is difficult for any of you but translators throughout the audience will help and the speech will be posted at the rear of the room later with copies on the internet tomorrow!! Also, I would like to thank the Priest, Inga, for the lovely service in the most beautiful church. Thank you to her boss for the good weather! I’d like to offer my sincere thanks and appreciation to all those who have worked so hard and long to help put this day together, a day which, I am sure, Katie and Simon will cherish for the remainder of their lives together. Standing here tonight reminded me of a joke. Two TV aerials met on a roof, they fell in love and eventually married. The wedding was pretty average but the reception was brilliant. OK, no more jokes!! Katie this is that point in time that every daughter fears…..what is Daddy going to talk about….is he going to tell about the time when…??!! I’m not going to tell of any of those times, but rather, I’m going to say & quote, thank you & quote! You see the one thought I’ve always been able to picture was that of today when you and I shared our little glance at one another as we were ready to start our walk down the aisle. As it was with my daughter Lucy and as it will be with my daughter Gemma, it has always been with me and always will be. I feel extremely lucky and humble in being able to say I have five great children and one special grandchild and to have them all here together gives me a sense of pride. Simon, I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you into the family, but I’m sure you know that you have been welcome since that first day I met you at my house. Every Father hopes his daughter will find a smart, reliable, sensible, and considerate young man so I have to say, I’m a contented father, as I am delighted to see my daughter looking so happy and well today. It is a real pleasure Simon, to welcome you into our family. Many things go into making a marriage happy: Love, fidelity, trust, someone who will listen, persistence and patience, tolerance and forbearance, tenacity and stamina, forgiveness or failing that, a defective memory. It also helps if the husband is always prepared to take the blame! I’d just like to offer a few words of advice: Katie – If you want something from Simon, just ask for it. Don’t forget he’s a man and hints don’t work. Lastly, always remember, as a great philosopher once said, a man who gives in when he is wrong is wise. Whilst a man who gives in when he is right is married.”

Don’t hesitate to write the funny wedding speeches you need for that special day. Your nerves won’t get the best of you if you know what to say. Follow this well prepared guideline and are sure to be in comical wedding speech heaven in no time.

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36 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speeches That'll Get the Whole Room Laughing

Plus, tips on writing and delivering a humorous speech that won't come off as a roast.

Photo by Abby Jiu Photography

In This Article

Have you been asked to give a wedding toast ? First and foremost, congratulations! It’s clear that you mean a great deal to the marrying couple and that they trust you to speak on their behalf in front of everyone that has ever been important to them. It's a tremendous honor, but we understand that you might be feeling a bit nervous about your new role as reception orator. Where should you begin?

The most important thing to know about wedding speeches is that the best ones are both heartfelt and humorous—and, most importantly, well under five minutes. While you’ll want to dive deep into your own memories of and feelings about the couple for the heartfelt bits, zingers don’t necessarily come naturally to all of us. To help you out in the laughs department, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite funny wedding toasts and marriage quotes below. Feel free to borrow with abandon and mix them up as needed—whatever it takes to make your speech really shine! 

Photo by Twah Dougherty Photography

Funny Wedding Toast Ideas 

These one-liners and well-wishes are sure to garner some chuckles.

• "What do late nights, wild parties, and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those things from now on. But congratulations on your wedding!"
• "May your children be blessed with rich parents." 
• "Here's to you and here's to me, I hope we never disagree, But if, perchance, we ever do, Then here's to me, and to hell with you."
• "Let’s raise our glasses to the two secrets of a long-lasting marriage: a good sense of humor, and a short memory."
• "May all of your ups and downs be only in the bedroom." 
• "Remember: In life, there are only two tools anyone really needs in their toolbox—duct tape and WD40. Duct tape keeps things from moving when they shouldn’t, and WD40 gets things moving when they’re stuck."
• "May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."
• "May you never lie, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie with each other. And if you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with us. Cheers to the newlyweds!"
• "We are gathered here today to honor something so truly magical, so truly unique and wonderful, that it simply had to be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the doughnut wall."
• "As Bill and Ted once said: 'Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.'"
• "Saying 'I do' at your wedding is like clicking the 'I accept' box any time a new piece of software on your computer or phone asks you to read its terms and conditions: You do it despite having no idea what will come next. Congratulations on your marriage!"
• "Never laugh at your spouse’s choices. Remember: they also chose you. Cheers!"
• "Now, let’s raise our glasses to the happy couple. I actually like both of you—do you have any idea how rare that is?"
• "May the most you wish for be the least you get." 
• "May your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided."

While quotes are great, keeping your wedding toasts personal or even providing quotes you remember from the couple getting married is always a good choice.

Photo by Jose Villa

Funny Quotes for Your Wedding Toast 

Use these humorous bits to offer the newlyweds wisdom and advice with a wink in your toast.

• "The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg 
• "We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love." — Dr. Seuss 
• "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Rita Rudner
• "Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash." — Dr. Joyce Brothers
• "Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener." — Pauline Thomason  
• "A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes into it." — Unknown
• "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt." — Charles Schulz
• "Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy." — Henry Kissinger
• "To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." — Ogden Nash
• "For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." — Catherine Zeta-Jones
• "If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married." — Unknown
• "Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy." — Unknown
• "If at first you don’t succeed...try doing it the way your wife told you." — Unknown  
• "Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid [their] problems sound to you." — Megan Mullally 
• "The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henny Youngman
• "The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with." — Mac MacGuff in Juno 
• "You’ll know you’ve mastered marriage when you ask your spouse to hand you 'that thingy' over there and they know exactly what you mean.” — @sixfootcandy on Twitter
• "Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there." — George Burns
• "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person." — Mignon McLaughlin
• "If your husband tells you you're being too dramatic, don't forget to bow when you thank him." — @3sunzzz on Twitter
• "Marrying someone is easy. Staying married after going to Ikea on a Saturday with an empty stomach is not." — @maryfairybobrry on Twitter

Photo by Les Loups

Tips for Writing and Delivering a Funny Wedding Toast

A funny wedding toast is a great way to keep everyone engaged; guests (especially after a few drinks at cocktail hour) don't always have the best attention spans for long, emotional speeches. A toast that's light, short, and appropriately funny is the recipe for one attendees will remember—and for all the right reasons. Just be sure to follow a few important tips for writing, practicing, and delivering a funny wedding toast.

Avoid too many inside jokes.

Have you ever been out with a group of friends and experienced everyone laughing about something that makes absolutely no sense to you? If so, you know that there's no worse feeling than being on the outside of an inside joke. While it's perfectly fine to include a few lines that make sense to just a few people in attendance, it's important to ensure that the vast majority of your toast resonates with everyone on the guest list.

Don't poke fun at the happy couple.

Remember that this is a toast, not a roast. It's best to be humorous but not mean-spirited or cruel. You want guests to laugh with you instead of at the happy couple, so avoid anything that feels as though you're mocking the newlyweds. Sharing funny stories and musings is a better course of action than retelling every embarrassing story you know about the bride or groom.

Be sure to strike the right balance between funny and serious.

While you don't have to pair every funny line with something more sentimental, it is nice to ensure there's a good mix of content in your speech. Balance all that (tasteful) humor with more serious sentiments—how much you love the couple, what their bond has taught you about happy relationships, and your hopes and dreams for their long, happy future together—and you've got a guaranteed hit.

Have someone else vet it.

Who can forget that scene in Wedding Crashers where Rachel McAdams thinks she's written the world's funniest speech and Owen Wilson kindly tells her to speak from the heart instead? While you might think you've penned a winner, it's best to let someone you trust weigh in before you take it to the crowd. Be open-minded about their feedback and willing to adjust if they note any major red flags.

Practice, practice, practice.

Your speech might be rock solid, but if you're tripping over every word or rushing through what you've written, guests will never know how great it is. Though definitely don't have to memorize it, you should practice it a few times through to make sure there are no clunky phrases or tough to pronounce words. Nail your timing and make sure you give your jokes a little breathing room for laughs, too.

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These 12 Funny Ceremony Readings Will Delight Your Guests

Add a little laughter to your nuptials with one of these funny wedding ceremony readings, from children's books, movies, poems, and more.

Jill Houser Photography Antler Orchid Events

Embarking on a lifelong commitment with the person you love is a momentous occasion, but that doesn’t mean it’s all serious business. Many couples choose to incorporate funny wedding ceremony readings to help lighten up the mood with a good balance of wit and humor. Of course, if you and your partner are writing your own vows , including some funny tidbits is a great way to make your ceremony feel more personal, but it doesn’t have to stop there. Selecting funny wedding ceremony readings is an opportunity to showcase both of your personalities while putting a smile on all your guests’ faces. 

If you’re making selections for your ceremony lineup, we’ve compiled the best funny wedding ceremony readings for every type of couple who loves a good laugh.

Details Details

“I’ll Be Here For You” by Louise Cuddon

A clever poem about facing life’s ups and downs together.

I’ll be there, my darling, through thick and through thin When your mind’s in a mess and your head’s in a spin When your plane’s been delayed, and you’ve missed the last train. When life is just threatening to drive you insane When your thrilling whodunit has lost its last page When somebody tells you, you’re looking your age When your coffee’s too cool, and your wine is too warm When the forecast said, “Fine,” but you’re out in a storm When your quick break hotel, turns into a slum And your holiday photos show only your thumb When you park for five minutes in a resident’s bay
 And return to discover you’ve been towed away When the jeans that you bought in hope or in haste Just stick on your hips and don’t reach round your waist When the food you most like brings you out in red rashes When as soon as you boot up the bloody thing crashes So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear… When you break a rule, when you act the fool When you’ve got the flu, when you’re in a stew When you’re last in the queue, don’t feel blue ’cause I’m telling you, I’ll be there.

Eder Acevedo Photography

“When I’m Sixty Four” by The Beatles

This classic song from The Beatles is a crowd favorite for a reason.

When I get older losing my hair Many years from now Will you still be sending me a Valentine Birthday greetings bottle of wine If I'd been out 'til quarter to three Would you lock the door Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four You'll be older too And if you say the word I could stay with you I could be handy, mending a fuse When your lights have gone You can knit a sweater by the fireside Sunday mornings go for a ride Doing the garden, digging the weeds Who could ask for more Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four Every summer we can rent a cottage In the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear We shall scrimp and save Grandchildren on your knee Vera, Chuck and Dave Send me a postcard, drop me a line Stating point of view Indicate precisely what you mean to say Yours sincerely, wasting away Give me your answer, fill in a form Mine for evermore Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four

Errands and Events by Lauren

"Yes, I’ll Marry You" by Pam Ayres

A feisty marriage poem that packs a punch. 

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear. And here’s the reason why. So I can push you out of bed When the baby starts to cry. And if we hear a knocking And it’s creepy and it’s late, I hand you the torch you see, And you investigate. Yes I’ll marry you, my dear, You may not apprehend it, But when the tumble-drier goes It’s you that has to mend it. You have to face the neighbor Should our Labrador attack him, And if a drunkard fondles me It’s you that has to whack him. Yes, I’ll marry you, You’re virile and you’re lean, My house is like a pigsty You can help to keep it clean. That sexy little dinner Which you served by candlelight, As I do chipolatas, You can cook it every night! It’s you who has to work the drill And put up curtain track, And when I’ve got PMT it’s you who gets the flak, I do see great advantages, But none of them for you, And so before you see the light, I DO, I DO, I DO!!

Alternative Weddings

The Impressive Clergyman Quote from The Princess Bride 

The most quotable line from everyone’s favorite wedding movie —and a very funny wedding ceremony reading.

Mawwiage. Mawwiage is wat bwings us togeder today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam wifin a dream… And wuv, twue wuv, will fowwow you foweva… 

Phoriah Events

“I Wanna Be Yours” by John Cooper Clarke

Light-hearted song lyrics to make everyone smile.

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner Breathing in your dust I wanna be your Ford Cortina I will never rust If you like your coffee hot Let me be your coffee pot You call the shots I wanna be yours I wanna be your raincoat For those frequent rainy days I wanna be your dreamboat When you want to sail away Let me be your teddy bear Take me with you anywhere I don't care I wanna be yours I wanna be your electric meter I will not run out I wanna be the electric heater You'll get cold without I wanna be your setting lotion Hold your hair in deep devotion Deep as the deep Atlantic Ocean That's how deep is my devotion

"And I Have You" by Nikki Giovanni

We love the simple sweetness of this poem. 

Rain has drops Sun has shine Moon has beams That make you mine Rivers have banks Sands for shores Hearts have heartbeats That make me yours Needles have eyes Though pins may prick Elmer has glue To make things stick Winter has Spring Stockings feet Pepper has mint To make it sweet Teachers have lessons Soup du jour Lawyers sue bad folks Doctors cure All and all This much is true You have me And I have you

Officiant Chris

“Marriage is Like My Old Car” by Marie April Gismondi

A poem of comedy and marriage advice all mixed into one funny wedding ceremony reading.

The way I see it, marriage is like my old car. When I bought it new from the dealership, everyone around me was saying; “Wow that’s a nice car!” It was all bright and shiny and worthy of admiration. And then as the years went by… there were places where the paint was starting to peel off. It got a little dent and a scratch or two here and there… and once it was over a decade old… People started saying; “Why are you still driving that old thing?” But my car ran like a top and would never leave me high and dry. Every time something sounded a little off, or needed attention, I got to work on it and fixed whatever needed fixing immediately, knowing that you get what you give. And then, when she became “a classic”, it was off to the body shop she went for a new paint job. People once again began saying; “Wow, that’s a really nice car!” But what they didn’t know was that all the things that really matter, were always things that nobody could see from the outside. A marriage is like my old car. It’s the maintenance you do between the high of the wedding day, and gaining the admiration your grandchildren by being the couple who still laughs and shares secrets, and still holds hands after all these years. So don’t worry so much about what people think or say. Just do your oil changes, keep up with your maintenance, get out and have fun, don’t be afraid to blow the dust off now and then, and fix whatever breaks as soon as it happens. This is my advice for a marriage that will motor successfully on down the highway of life.

“The Romance” by Shel Silverstein

Humor on the sweeter side, this poem is classic as can be.

Said the pelican to the elephant, “I think we should marry, I do. ’Cause there’s no name that rhymes with me, And no one else rhymes with you.” Said the elephant to the pelican, “There’s sense to what you’ve said, For rhyming’s as good a reason as any For any two to wed.” And so the elephant wed the pelican, And they dined upon lemons and limes, And now they have a baby pelican, And everybody rhymes.

The Sarasota Modern

“Love Me” by Bee Rawlinson

A clever little poem about growing old together.

Love me when I'm old and shocking Peel off my elastic stockings Swing me from the chandeliers Let's be randy bad old dears. Push around my chromed Bath Chair Let me tease your white chest hair Scaring children, swapping dentures Let us have some great adventures. Take me to your special places Watching all the puzzled faces You in shorts and socks and sandals Me with warts and huge love-handles. As the need for love  enthralls Wrestle with my damp proof smalls Make me laugh without constraint Buy me chocolate body paint. Hold me safe throughout the night When my hair has turned to white Believe me when I say it's true I've waited all my life for you.

Wedding Officiant Jon Turino

“He Never Leaves The Seat Up” by Anon

A funny wedding ceremony reading for the couple who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.

He never leaves the seat up Or wet towels upon the floor The toothpaste has the lid on And he always shuts the door! She’s very clean and tidy Though she may sometimes delude Leave your things out at your peril In a second they’ll have moved! He’s a very active person As are all his next of kin Where as she likes lazy days He’ll still drag her to the gym! He romances her and dines her Home cooked dinners and the like He even knows her favorite food And spoils her day and night! She’s thoughtful when he looks at her A smile upon his face Will he look that good in 50 years When his dentures aren’t in place?! He says he loves her figure And her mental prowess too But when gravity takes her over Will she charm with her IQ? She says she loves his kindness And his patience is a must And of course she thinks he’s handsome Which in her eyes is a plus! They’re both not wholly perfect But who are we to judge He can be pig headed Where as she won’t even budge! All that said and done They love the time they spent together And I hope as I’m sure you do That this fine day will last forever. He’ll be more than just her husband He’ll also be her friend And she’ll be more than just his wife She’s be his soul mate ‘til the end.

Designs by Franklin

“I Like You” by Ben Rector

This sweet and simple song excerpt would be great read by a child.

There's no need to complicate it Dress it up or overstate it Without too much hesitation Here's the way I feel Well, I like you, I like you Even when I don't try to Yes I do, that's the truth I like you

Michelle Breiter Photography

Your Personal Penguin by Sandra Boynton

A children’s book reading with both humor and heart.

I like you a lot You’re funny and kind So let me explain What I have in mind. I want to be Your Personal Penguin I want to walk right by your side I want to be Your Personal Penguin I want to travel with you far and wide. Wherever you go, I’ll go there too Here and there and ev’rywhere And always with you. I want to be Your Personal Penguin From now on. Now lots of other penguins seem to do fine In a universe of nothing but ice But if I could be yours and you could be mine A cozy little world would be twice as nice. I want to be Your Personal Penguin I want to talk with you night and day I want to be Your Personal Penguin I want to listen to whatever you say. Look at these wings, so perfect to hold you I’d like to say again What I have already told you Let me be Your Personal Penguin From now on. Now lots of other penguins seem to do fine In a universe of nothing but ice But if I could be yours and you could be mine A cozy little world would be twice as nice. I want to be (want to be) Your Personal Penguin I want to walk right by your side I want to be (want to be) Your Personal Penguin I want to travel with you far and wide. Wherever you go, I’ll go there too Here and there and ev’rywhere And always with you. I want to be Your Personal Penguin Imagine me, Your Personal Penguin I want to be Your Personal Penguin From now on.

Related WeddingWire Articles

Wedding Ceremony Script Ideas for Officiants

Use this simple wedding ceremony script guide to make people believe in love all over again, and officiate the hell out of this wedding.

The couple selected you to be their wedding officiant because you’re special to them, but—perhaps more importantly—they asked you because they believe you have enough pizzazz to make their wedding a touching, memorable experience.

That might feel like a lot to handle, but you can do it. Whether you’ve been tapped to officiate a basic ceremony, or write a modern wedding ceremony script, just trust us—and follow the guidelines below.

Get Ordained

Before you start writing the wedding ceremony script, you’ve got to be official. In many states, becoming an officiant is as simple as registering online (usually between $30-$40, and the easiest thing you’ll ever do). Other states may allow you to get a special one-day permit. Research the laws in the state where the wedding is taking place to see what’s required of you.

Here are just a few places you can get ordained online: Universal Life Church (the OG) Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (surprisingly legal) The Church of Dude (to really tie the ceremony together)

Talk to the Couple

You’re a friend or family member of the couple, so you probably already have an idea of what they would like (or freak out over). But people understandably get very particular about their weddings, so take time to sit down with them and ask about these key components of the wedding ceremony script:

SPECTRUM OF TRADITIONALNESS

Whether you stick to the tried-and-true “ dearly beloved ” script, toss it, or do a combo of traditional and modern, make sure you ask the couple in detail what they like and don’t like. They may or may not even know, but ask anyway.

On one hand, they asked you to officiate because of (and knowing full well) who you are, so it’d be surprising if they ask you to play against your strengths. Still, it’s worth checking in about how they would like this ceremony to play out. Here are the most obvious options:

a.) Romantic  b.) Serious  c.) Funny  d.) Seriously funny  e.) Combo of the above  f.) Other

Ceremonies are getting shorter and shorter—we’re not sure whether to blame cell phones , the open bar, or climate change . In any case, check in with the couple and find out how long they want your speech to be.

Our thoughts? A balance between “short and sweet” and “substantial enough to have meaning” is usually best. Typically, the more traditional the ceremony, the longer this thing’s going to be.

THE COUPLE’S STORY

Some couples meet under less than fairy-tale circumstances. For example, if the couple met at a frat party while they were both wearing slutty jungle animal costumes, would they be fine with you sharing this story with wedding guests, or would they be embarrassed by it? Set some boundaries, and anec -don’t surprise them.

Is the couple choosing the wedding readings, or are they leaving it in your hands? Do they have any pieces of writing, songs, or quotes that are important to them? This is an easy step to overlook, but it’s important.

If you’re tasked with choosing the readings , try to match the tone the couple has already requested. This is also a good time to find out how many readers they have in mind so you can choose an appropriate number of readings.

Write the Wedding Ceremony Script

Now that you know more about what the couple wants from you, it’s time to sit down and write the most beautiful wedding ceremony script of all time. No pressure.

You can jump-start the process with some basic wedding ceremony script ideas (work from this one , or this one , or even this one ), just to get a reference for the pacing and basic steps in a ceremony. Edit and add to it based on the previous conversations you’ve had with the couple about what they want, and please, use the words you’d normally use. They didn’t ask a thesaurus, they asked you .

In general, your wedding officiant script should probably follow this order (again, unless the couple has stated otherwise):

1. MAKE A FEW OPENING REMARKS

Welcome and thank everyone for sharing in the couple’s special day (in a traditional ceremony, this would be the “Dearly beloved” part). If the couple is asking for a serious or romantic ceremony, this is basically your one shot at landing a knee-slapper—use it wisely.

2. SAY SOME GENERAL WORDS ABOUT LOVE AND COMMITMENT

Remind everyone that’s why you’re here today—it’s not about the food, the free booze, the dancing, the… ferris wheel? If there’s a ferris wheel it’s at least a little bit about the ferris wheel. But mostly it’s about love .

3. TELL THE COUPLE’S LOVE STORY

This is your sandbox. Make it personal and sprinkle in elements of your relationship with the couple (remember, they asked you to be their officiant for a reason). Consider the following questions:

What is your relationship to them and why is it important? How do you know the couple? How have you seen their relationship evolve over time? What is your favorite story or experience you’ve had with the couple? What are your wishes for the couple’s future together? Why are they perfect for each other?

Any of these answers will provide great fodder and filler, and keep the focus on the lovebirds.

4. PRESENT THE WEDDING READINGS

Could be read by you, the couple, or another special person chosen by the couple—as we mentioned earlier, discuss the couple’s ideas for this part of the ceremony ahead of time.

5. VOWS. RINGS. KISS.

If the couple opts for the traditional vows, you’ll conduct those. If the couple has written their own, they’ll take it from here. Until…

6. SAY YOUR THANK-YOUS AND CLOSING REMARKS

Pronounce the couple as married, thank everyone again for sharing in this special moment, and release them all to the reception.

That’s it! You’re done writing The Best Wedding Ceremony Script in All of History (or at least pretty close to it).

Stuff You Probably Shouldn’t Forget to Do

Now that you’ve actually written the wedding ceremony script, give some consideration to these other factors before the big day arrives.

CROSS-REFERENCE YOUR REMARKS WITH THE COUPLE’S VOWS

If the couple is writing their own vows, meet with them beforehand to make sure their vows don’t clash with (or are repetitive of) what you’re planning on saying. Hearing roughly the same thing three times over is a recipe for awkwardness and boredom.

BRUSH UP ON YOUR PUBLIC SPEAKING SKILLS

Unfortunately, a flawlessly written, heartstring-pulling speech is only half the wedding officiant battle. You also need to know how to work a crowd but not be so much of a scene-stealer that you outshine the couple. It’s a fine line.

Where do you start? Practice reading your speech aloud, make eye contact with the wedding guests (and the couple), smile in a non-creepy way, and stand up straight. Try not to speak too fast or in monotone. And be sure to enunciate (without spitting). These are the bare-minimum requirements for holding the crowd’s attention.

Figure Out What to Wear to This Thing

Ask the couple whether they’d like you to wear anything in particular—they might have a wedding dress code they want you to follow, or at least a few opinions about your look.

If they leave it in your hands, a safe bet is a classic suit in a dark ( navy , charcoal , or black ) or neutral color ( grey or tan ). You obviously want to look good because you’re going to be in a lot of those wedding photos, but you also don’t want to distract from the couple on their special day. For this reason, we wouldn’t advise wearing anything too bold. On the other hand, if you go too dark and stoic at a vibey wedding, you’ll stick out, too. Try to match the tone.

Once you’ve got the suit picked out, you’ll need to make sure it fits. Need help finding your suit sizes? Find out how here , or take our simple quiz to find them right now.

The day has arrived. You’re an ordained minister. You look good, feel good, and are prepared to wow this audience and give the couple the amazing wedding memories they deserve. The altar awaits your sparkling stage presence.

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7 Amazing Officiant Speeches That Will Seriously Inspire You

We've rounded up the most emotional, inspiring and hilarious wedding officiant speeches to help you plan yours.

Your wedding ceremony is a moment you will remember for the rest of your lives, and choosing the right wedding officiant to run your ceremony and your wedding vows it is a crucial part of the planning process. Your wedding officiant is the person who leads your ceremony script and, ultimately, marries you! They can be your childhood priest or rabbi, your sibling or a professional celebrant like The Vow Whisperer .

Not only do you want to find someone engaging and entertaining, but you also want a wedding officiant who will be able to showcase who you are as a couple and why your love story is special and unique to you. And don't forget, your wedding officiant must be legally recognized in the state in which your wedding takes place in order for the marriage to be legal, so if you choose to go with a loved one, make sure they get their certification with plenty of time before the wedding.

And if you're reading this article because you've been asked to officiate a wedding, you'll want to make sure you come up with a wedding ceremony script that makes the couple happy and wows their guests. Read on for examples of a great sample officiant speech!

Below we've rounded up 8 of the most inspiring wedding officiant speeches from our huge library of real wedding videos . We hope these videos will help you with your own wedding ceremony and wedding vows.

When deciding who you want to officiate your wedding, don’t let traditions keep you from creating the experience you want to have on your big day. Shalyn + Evan asked Shalyn's grandmother—the owner of the lavender farm where they had their ceremony—to be their officiant! She writes “here, where we gather today, is the heart of our land." Watch this proud, eloquent grandmother at the altar as she leads the ceremony.

Watch Shalyn + Evan’s wedding video here .

It's easy for couples to fall head over heels for each other while sharing extraordinary moments together. Melissa and Matt 's wedding officiant has the best advice for keeping love alive long past those exciting first few dates. "Love the ordinary." His officiant speech continues, "love making dinner, love going shopping, taking a walk together. Ironically, if you love the ordinary, you can make some of your days extraordinary. Do you not want to send this to your wedding officiant right now??"

Watch Melissa + Matt's wedding video here .

Molly and Mike 's wedding officiant gives a beautiful speech telling the story of how the couple met. It's important to make sure your wedding officiant knows your backstory so you can have moments like this in your ceremony that make it feel more personal and more YOU.

Watch Molly and Mike’s wedding video here .

Matt and Justin 's wedding officiant begins the ceremony with a powerful message that directly addresses LGBTQ couples. "If I can be a representative of the Episcopal Church, I think we owe you, the LGBTQ community, an apology. Because it's too late, it's been too slow, and I think that you have taught us how to be a better church." The wedding officiant's honesty and humility is inspiring—moving is an understatement.

Watch Matt and Justin's wedding video here .

Elopement weddings call for a wedding officiant that is able to make the couple feel super comfortable—it's only the three of you up at the altar, after all! May and Mitch searched high and low for an officiant in Kauai to find the perfect person to deliver their wedding vows. It wasn't until they saw a bunch of wedding videos with Kelvin Ho happily cracking coconuts throughout his speech that they knew they found their guy. His happy, easy-going personality totally sold them. Watching Kelvin perform his seashell hand-washing ritual on top of a Hawaiian cliff for major ceremony inspiration.

Watch May and Mitch's wedding video here .

One way to think about your wedding officiant speech is like ten minutes of amazing life advice. Kaylee and Jason 's wedding officiant gave a speech that could basically be pinned to every quote board on Pinterest. "There's a time in your life when you begin to measure time in terms of decades. When you look back upon them, you realize that your time upon this earth is really short, and so each moment that you are given on this earth is a time to celebrate." Well said.

Watch Kaylee and Jason's wedding video here .

Find your inner stand-up comedian and work the room with various LOLs. Thinking the wedding officiant's romantic remarks were coming to a close, Heath tries to skip the rest of the wedding vows and kiss Erika—and totally gets called out. While his eagerness is beyond adorable, the way Erika and Heath 's wedding officiant playfully teases the couple will have you in tears.

Watch Erika and Heath's wedding video here .

We hope you found these wedding officiants inspiring and you've gotten some great ideas for your own ceremony script and wedding vows. Don't forget to check out our vendor directory to find a professional wedding officiant, speech writer, or vow coach near you who can help you with your big day.

30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Handy one-liners to make the guests lol.

If you've read our post on how to make a great best man speech , you'll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and here, we're sharing 30 foolproof examples! The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you're a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride, father of the groom, mother of the bride, mother of the groom, granny or grandad, or just a close pal with a knack for public speaking! Boasting everything from eye roll-worthy classics to offbeat gags, our round-up of funny opening lines for wedding speeches is sure to have something to suit your personal style, and many of them can be customised to pack an even bigger punch on the day. Kick off with one of these gems, and you'll not only put the audience at ease, you'll set yourself up for a terrific wedding speech!

25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Note: [Name] can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the bridal party!

1. “Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers!”

2. “Hi everyone! I’m [Name] and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”

3. "The couple have requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me! Thanks for listening!"

4. "[Name], I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."

5. "I just want to start by congratulating [previous speaker's Name] on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn't follow a word of it."

6. "The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no. Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and, after already turning them down three times, I couldn't refuse again."

7. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"

8. "[Name] and I share the same sense of humour, so if you don't like my jokes, you can blame them!"

9. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/donut wall/photo booth/[Name] wearing a tie ."

10. "Where do I start with [Name]? They're kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming... [directed at them] sorry, I'm having trouble reading your writing, you'll have to tell me the rest later."

11. "I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with my speech."

12. "Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [Name]!"

13. "I'd like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately I'm single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fan sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa."

14. "A few months ago, [Name] called me up and asked, 'What are your feelings on marriage?' I had to tell them that, while I was very flattered, I wasn't ready to settle down just yet."

15. "Can everyone hear me OK? If you can't hear me in the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing anything."

16. "Hello everyone! I'm [Name]. I'm sure you all know me as (Name's best friend/sister/mum/dad), but if you don't, well done on sneaking into the wedding unnoticed!"

17. "Before I begin, I must explain that, this morning, [Name] asked me to remove anything resembling innuendo from my speech. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I'll whip it out immediately."

18. "[Name] knows that I'm a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice. They said 'Don't try to be too charming, witty or intellectual... just be yourself!'"

19. "All of us gathered together in this room, we've got something really important in common - none of us have got a clue what I'm going to say next!"

20. "I was told that the secret to a good speech is to start with something that's relevant to everyone in the audience. So here it goes - all of your cars have been stolen."

21. "I want to start by saying that, of all the weddings I've attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent."

22. "I'd like to start by congratulating [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."

23. "Before we start, can everybody do me a favour and get up off their seats? Now can everyone take one step backward, please? Now can everyone move one step to the right? And now can everyone move one step left? Thank you. Someone told me that the key to giving a good speech was to move people, but I think they must have been having me on, because this is going terribly!"

24. "I'm so happy to be overseeing the only five minutes of today that [bride or groom's Name] didn't plan. Only joking, they went over my speech with me at the bar half an hour ago. [Pulls extra page out of pocket] But I did manage to hide one page!"

25. Guys, before I start, just some housekeeping notes, the venue has asked that you don't stand on any of the chairs and tables for my standing ovation."

26 . I sincerely hope that each day of [Insert names] marriage is better than the the one before, the only thing is that also means they'll look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives.

27. I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. You'll be glad to hear, that last night I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours, bawling my eyes out.

28. Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom/bride drink alone, could I?

29. Just some last messages here to read out: one from [NAME’S] football team for [PARTNER] " Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with [NAME], we found him/her to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight ."

30. Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 250 chickens, and the many, many carnations, roses and wedding coordinators who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Found your opening line for your wedding speech? We also have a handy checklist of people you need to remember to thank !

Image credits

Marc lawson photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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The Funniest Wedding Vows Officiants Have Ever Heard

Senior Lifestyle Reporter, HuffPost

Wedding officiants get to observe some of the sweetest declarations of love a couple will ever make to each other. But given how high-stress and emotional a wedding ceremony can be, they hear plenty of weird stuff, too.

Below, officiants from around the country share the wildest, most awkward things they’ve ever heard or witnessed during the exchange of vows.

Cold Feet At The Altar

“During the vow segment of the ceremony, I asked the groom, ’Do you take Nancy to be your wife and do you promise to love, honor and cherish her throughout life? He paused for a moment and said: ‘Can I get back to you?’” ― Rabbi Solomon Rothstein , a wedding officiant in Jewish and interfaith weddings in Florida

The Premature Kiss

“Craig promised his wife Cheryl, ‘I’ll always slip you a kiss, even before I should,’ and then kissed her — when everyone knew the kiss was supposed to wait until after the pronouncement. Another Massachusetts groom theatrically moistened his bride’s ring finger with his mouth before sliding the wedding band into place.” ― Kezia Bacon , a wedding officiant in New England

“I often suggest that couples write and read their own vows, and this one was fantastic: ‘I promise to always love you. Even if you grow old and begin to look like an iguana, I will still love you.’ ” ― Ray Goad , an ordained U.S. Merchant Marine officer

The Internet Prankster

“So back in the summer of 2017, this couple I officiated for decided to write their own vows. The bride went first, and her vows were heartfelt, meaningful and emotional. The type of stuff every officiant loves to hear.

The groom’s vows came next, and he started out in the same manner as her. Then suddenly he began saying, ‘I’ll never give you up, I’ll never let you down, I’ll never...’ By this point, the bride, the guests and I realized he was rickrolling (in regards to Rick Astley’s 1987 hit) the bride in the midst of his vows.” ― Ernie Claeson , a wedding officiant in Beaverton, Oregon

The Longest Solo

“The most awkward was when a groom started to sing a song to his fiancee and wanted her to join in, and she waved him off. It was a loooooong minute.” ― Harris Bloom , a wedding officiant in New York City

The Football Fanboy

“On a beautiful blue sky summer day, surrounded by 200 family and friends, a positively gorgeous bride made beautiful promises to her handsome groom. Then, it was his turn: First, he told her that he loved her. Then he began his pledge by stating that he is obsessed with five-time Super Bowl champion, greatest of all time Tom Brady, and that he’d marry Brady if he could.

He finished this announcement by declaring that his bride was obsessed with shopping. I cringed. I could see the look of anger on the bride’s face and the uncomfortable reaction of the guests. He went on to promise to not get too upset when the New England Patriots lose ― ‘as infrequently as that may be’ ― and that their obsessions cancel each other out. I hope they ― and the Patriots ― go on to live happily ever after.” ― Priscilla Geaney , a justice of the peace in Massachusetts

“At one wedding I officiated in Vegas, the two grooms mentioned their pup in the funniest way. The rest of their vows were just cute. ‘Tim allowed me to become the alpha male with Conner, our Kerry blue terrier, even though Conner had been his dog for seven years,’ Dave said. ‘Tim loves being part of my family. He forgives me when I’ve been a jerk. He laughs when he rightfully should be mad at me. He’s a Goy who never hesitated when I said I wanted to be married by a rabbi.’” ― Rabbi Shai Specht-Sandler, a w edding officiant in Las Vegas, Nevada

The Guzzling Groom

“The groom came in late, drunk. Three hundred guests were waiting for the ceremony to begin. During the ceremony, he was joking around. I whispered, ‘Cut it out.’ At the conclusion, I declared them husband and wife and invited him to kiss the bride. In his drunken stupor, he bent over to kiss her and proceeded to vomit over her beautiful white gown, and then he passed out. When he awoke, she was gone. The marriage had to be annulled.” ― Rothstein

The Phantom Marriage

“I work with a lot of nerdy couples and do cosplay weddings. When the couples really get into it, they assume the attributes of their character in their vows. One groom assumed the role of a Jedi. He said, ‘My queen, may the Force be with us as we travel through the galaxy of life. I pledge to never turn to the Dark Side but stand forever in the illumination of our love. I vow to fight the Evil Emperor and I invite you take your place at my side as we rule the galaxy. Together we can withstand anything, even the Death Star, Jabba the Hut and Darth Vader. Come with me and we will make this world and the others around it ours. I’ll take part in any rebellion you want and pledge my life and love to you, princess. Take my hand and stand with me for light and justice throughout our lives.’” ― Alan Katz , owner of Great Officiants in Long Beach, California

Two Pirates In Love

“As you are undoubtedly aware, Sept. 19 is celebrated as Talk Like a Pirate Day . This is a holiday celebrated, in particular, by Pastafarians . The groom in a couple that I married on Sept. 19 celebrates that holiday, and his bride was happy to include Talk Like a Pirate as the theme in their marriage ceremony. They talked like a pirate and made plenty of references to pirates during their vows. There were also two short readings selected from ‘The Princess Bride.’” ― Rick Kaplowitz , owner of Bay Area Ceremonies in Palo Alto, California

The Quiet Type

“Every once in a while, a groom just says ‘ditto’ after the bride makes a long speech. Not weird, but it is funny.” ― Robert Gould , a judge and wedding officiant in Florida

The Killer Comedic Duo

“Jes and Kent recited their vows together, taking turns with complimentary lines. When Jes said, ‘We’re amazing together because we moved across the country twice without killing each other...’ Kent replied, ‘We are perfect for each other because we agreed the phrase ‘killing each other’ was appropriate for our wedding vows.’” ― Bacon

Responses have been edited for style and clarity.

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8 Wedding Ceremony Scripts to Borrow & Printables

Find beautiful wedding ceremony scripts ranging from unique to traditional. Print and borrow them, or get inspiration to write your own!

By Allison Cullman

Inside this article:

Simple wedding ceremony script

Modern wedding ceremony script, humorous wedding ceremony script, inclusive wedding ceremony script, christian wedding ceremony script, catholic wedding ceremony script, jewish wedding ceremony script, protestant wedding ceremony script, 4 tips for writing your own ceremony script, simple wedding ceremony script starter outline, faqs about wedding ceremony scripts, summarizing ceremony and officiant wedding scripts.

In the midst of the organized chaos of wedding planning, the wedding ceremony is often left until the last minute. But the ceremony is quite significant—after all, it’s the part where you and your future spouse actually become joined in marriage.

We all know about the “I do’s” of a wedding ceremony, but the rest of your ceremony is just as important. While you want to create a wedding ceremony script that’s meaningful and personal to you and your future spouse, figuring out how to do this can leave some couples scratching their heads. If you’re wondering where to begin writing your wedding ceremony script, our tips and examples below are here to help.

This script has been reviewed by Rev. Lisann G. Valentin, an ordained minister at Universal Life Church .

For a nonreligious wedding ceremony, there’s no standard script you need to adhere to. The script below can be a helpful starting point for a simple wedding ceremony you can build upon and personalize however you like.

Opening words/welcome

The ceremony will begin with the officiant addressing the reception.

Officiant: “Welcome friends, family, and loved ones. We’re gathered here today to celebrate [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] in their lifelong commitment of love to each other. Finding your life partner is a true joy, and the commitment to share in life’s ups and downs as one is no small feat. While marriage will bring its own challenges and triumphs, let this day be a reminder of what your love has already accomplished, as well as the possibilities for your partnership as you grow together for years to come.”

While a simple wedding ceremony might omit this part altogether, some couples like to personalize their ceremony wedding scripts with a chosen reading or song to celebrate their union. A close friend or family member, the officiant, or the couple themselves might perform readings. For example, the officiant might call upon a chosen friend or family member to perform an original poem or share a story about the couple’s relationship.

Officiant: “As our reading today, [PARTNER A/B] has asked [his, her] [friend/cousin/other family member] to recite an original poem in honor of their union.”

[Reading proceeds.]

Vows and ring exchange

Couples may choose to write their own vows or omit reciting vows altogether.

Officiant to reception: “[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] will now exchange rings as a symbol of their love and lifelong commitment.”

At this point, couples may exchange their vows (if desired) before placing their rings on each other's fingers. Below is an example of vows that might be exchanged:

Partner A to Partner B: “With this ring, I promise to support you, care for you, laugh with you, share in your burdens, be honest with you, and be faithful to you in all that we may face in the years ahead. I promise to love you with everything I have, from this day forward and beyond.”

Partner B to Partner A: “With this ring, I promise to love you and commit myself to you for the rest of my life. I promise to stand by your side, be there for you always, and to find laughter and joy even in tough times. I promise to love and accept you just as you are, and grow with you for every year to come.”

Declaration of intent

Officiant to Partner A: “Do you, [PARTNER A], take [PARTNER B] to be your lawfully wedded [husband, wife, partner]? Will you honor and cherish them, continue to deepen your understanding of them, and treat them with love and compassion in joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life might throw your way?”

Partner A: “I will” or “I do.”

Officiant to Partner B: “Do you, [PARTNER B], take [PARTNER A] to be your lawfully wedded [wife, husband, partner]? Will you honor and cherish them, continue to deepen your understanding of them, and treat them with love and compassion in joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life might throw your way?”

Partner B: “I will” or “I do.”

Pronouncement

Finally, the officiant will pronounce the couple as married. To capture the perfect moment, couples might also request that the officiant steps to the side for the kiss during the wedding nuptials.

Officiant to all: “By the authority vested in me, and with the trust of you all here today, I now declare you joined in love. You may now kiss!"

Officiant to all: “Thank you all for joining in this momentous occasion for [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B]! They now invite you to join them for a reception at [LOCATION]. Thank you all!”

This script has been reviewed by Sheena Wheadon, licensed wedding officiant at Why Knot Weddings .

Any wedding ceremony can take a modern spin. Any number of personal touches can be added to your ceremony to make it more modern—whether you want to include your pets, switch up how your wedding party is presented, or simply add some modern flair to your wedding vows and readings. Personalizing your wedding ceremony script is a great way to infuse who you really are into your big day.

The officiant script will begin by welcoming the reception.

Officiant: “Good afternoon and welcome! We’d like to thank everyone on this beautiful day for coming to support [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] in this exciting endeavor and union. Your friendship and support has helped to strengthen them as they’ve made their way to this moment, and they thank you for being here.”

Couples may choose to include a reading in their marriage ceremony script. This reading can be anything you wish, whether it’s a special poem, a reading from a book, a quote from a movie, or a story about the couple’s relationship shared by a close friend or family member.

Vows Exchange

Many modern couples opt to write their own wedding vows or omit them altogether. It’s up to you! Below is an example of modern wedding vows:

Officiant to couple: “[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B], please exchange your vows.”

Partner A to Partner B: “[NAME], you’re my best friend. I’m in awe of your lightness, your kindness, and the purity of what it looks like to be loved by someone like you. It’s a love with no expectations, no strings attached, only a desire to support me and see me fulfilled. To know and be known by you is a gift and a privilege. I know we were made for each other. So here’s what I promise:

I vow always to strive to be the best version of myself so that I can show up for you every single day. I vow to seek joy and hope even in dark times and be there for you when you need me. I vow to trust you and love you unconditionally. I vow to continue to learn from the examples of patience and selflessness that you have always embodied.”

Partner B to Partner A: “[NAME], I love you with my whole heart. You’ve loved me with a loyalty that I’d never experienced before, and didn’t even know existed. You have seen every part of me, and even at my lowest you have stood by my side. You’ve never given up on me, and I have no doubt that you are the person I’m meant to spend my life with. I vow to keep a soft heart when challenges come, and to be aware of my words and actions and how they affect you. I vow to support you in all things, to love you well, and to create a life we’re proud of. Life is fleeting, and I want to cherish every minute of it with you.”

Officiant to couple: “[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B], do you take one another as partners from this day forward?”

Couple in unison: “We do.”

Officiant: “Will you love, honor, and cherish one another as partners for the rest of your lives?”

Couple responds: “We will.”

• Ring exchange

Officiant to reception: “[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] have chosen these rings as a symbol of their unbreakable love. Please place these rings on each other’s fingers and repeat after me:

‘I give you this ring as a reminder of our love that unites, inspires, and celebrates what we have.’”

[Couple repeats to each other.]

Finally, the officiant will pronounce the couple as legally wed:

Officiant to all: “By the authority vested in me, it is with joy that I pronounce you married. Now kiss and go celebrate!”

Officiant to all: “Thank you all for joining in this beautiful occasion for [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B]! They now invite you to join them for a reception at [LOCATION]. Thank you all!”

There’s no rule that says your wedding ceremony has to be serious from start to finish. Some couples prefer to add a bit of humor to their ceremony for a more lighthearted affair. The following funny wedding ceremony script has all the required legal elements of becoming legally married, with a humorous touch to keep your guests on their toes.

The officiant will begin by welcoming the crowd and introducing the ceremony.

Officiant to all: “Hello and welcome! We’re here today because [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] have decided they love each other so much that they want to get the government involved! But in all seriousness, a huge thanks to all who have joined us. We promise we’ll get these two hitched quickly so you can make a beeline to the open bar!

I’d like to take this opportunity to ponder the meaning of marriage. Now I know I made a joke about these two loving each other so much they’ve decided to get the government involved, but we know that’s not all marriage is. It’s a tradition, yes, but it’s so much more. It might take a lot of work and compromise, but at the end of the day, this is about choosing your person until the end of this thing we call life. So no matter how many dishes they leave in the sink, no matter how horrible their cooking is, no matter how bad their mood might be on occasion—you’ve got someone who chooses to stick with you through it all. And that’s what marriage is about!”

Including readings in your ceremony is optional, but some couples opt to personalize their ceremony with a particular reading, quote, or story. Some humorous wedding ceremonies might involve a close friend or family member sharing a lighthearted account of the couple’s relationship, with some light humor to get a laugh out of the crowd. The wedding ceremony officiant script can even include fun elements,

Officiant: “As our reading today, [PARTNER A/B} has asked [his, her] [friend/cousin/other family member] to share a personal story of their relationship in honor of their marriage today.”

At this point, couples may exchange vows if they’ve chosen to write them. Here’s an example of wedding vows with a little humor:

Officiant to Partner A: “Now, it’s time to put a ring on it! [PARTNER A], repeat after me: ‘I give you this ring as a symbol that I will love and cherish you, and that I’ll try to keep my mouth shut when it’s your turn to choose the movie we watch.’”

[Partner A repeats.]

Officiant to Partner B: “[PARTNER B], repeat after me: ‘I give you this ring as a symbol that I will love and cherish you, and that I’ll consider making you dinner every once in a while.’”

[Partner B repeats.]

Officiant to Partner A: “Do you, [PARTNER A], take [PARTNER B] to be your lawfully wedded [husband, wife, partner], to love and cherish them for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and reap as many tax benefits as you can for as long as you both shall live?”

Partner A: “I do.”

Officiant to Partner B: “Do you, [PARTNER B], take [PARTNER A] to be your lawfully wedded [wife, husband, partner], to love and cherish them for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and reap as many tax benefits as you can for as long as you both shall live?”

Partner B: “I do.”

Now, the officiant will pronounce the couple as legally wed:

Officiant: “What a romantic exchange. Now, I guess there’s only one thing left to do: By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you [husband and wife, husband and husband, wife and wife]! Now kiss!”

Officiant to all: “That’s a wrap on the formal proceedings of today. [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] will greet you in [LOCATION] at [TIME]. We thank you for coming—now get out of here and go celebrate!”

While traditional gender roles often make up the bulk of how many sample wedding ceremony scripts are written, this doesn’t have to be the case for a more inclusive ceremony. The following example script does away with gendered language and puts the focus on the love shared between the couple and what that means for them.

The officiant will begin by welcoming the reception. This is also when the wedding officiant script can include any specific announcements, like requesting guests to silence their phones.

Officiant: “Welcome friends, family, and loved ones! We’re gathered here today in celebration of (Partner A) and (Partner B) and to bear witness as they join their lives in marriage. On behalf of (Partner A) and (Partner B), it’s a true pleasure to have you here to celebrate this incredible moment.

Love is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. Love offers hope, joy, comfort, and security, in good times and bad. Love is what spurs our personal growth and allows us to face life and all its challenges, with the unending support of the person we’ve chosen to commit our lives to. (Partner A) and (Partner B) stand before you today to share the love and happiness in their hearts as they take their relationship to a deeper level of commitment by making a passage into marriage.”

While totally optional, couples can choose to include a reading of their choice in their ceremony. This can be anything from a particular poem or section from a book to a special movie quote or personal story about the couple’s relationship. Couples might have the officiant perform the reading or have a loved one come up to share instead.

Officiant: “(Partner A) and (Partner B) have selected a reading from [SOURCE] that represents their unique journey and the commitment they’re making today.”

Vows exchange

Couples who have chosen to write their own wedding vows will recite them here. These could be in a question-and-answer format or long-form vows written beforehand (or a combination of both). Couples can also ask their officiant to step to the side during the vow readings—it helps make the moment more intimate!

Here’s an example of wedding vows for you to work from:

Officiant to couple: “Marriage is a lifelong commitment to love and care for each other to the best of your ability. Are you both ready to take this step together?”

Couple responds: “Yes!”

Officiant to couple: “Do you promise to care for each other, treat each other with respect and compassion, and to always move toward love in your efforts to support one another?”

Couple responds: “We do.”

Officiant to couple: “Do you promise to meet each challenge and triumph with integrity, gratitude, and patience, and to strive to learn and grow together for all of your days?”

Affirmation of family and friends

Officiant to reception: “Do you, the family and friends of (Partner A) and (Partner B), give your full support today and wish them a lifetime of happiness together?”

Reception responds: “We do.”

Expression of intent

Officiant: “In the presence and witness of the loved ones you have gathered here today, I now ask you to state your intentions.

(Partner A) and (Partner B), have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in the commitment of marriage?”

Couple responds: “Yes.”

Officiant: “Once more, will you love, honor, and cherish one another as partners for the rest of your lives?”

Officiant to reception: “(Partner A) and (Partner B), please repeat after me:

‘I give you this ring as a symbol of the vows we’ve made today. I pledge to you my love, respect, and commitment. With everything that I am, I honor you.’”

Officiant: “Now that you, (Partner A) and (Partner B), have promised to give yourselves fully to each other, to love each other through the vows you have made, and through the giving and receiving of these rings, it is my great pleasure by the power vested in me to now pronounce you married! You may now kiss!”

Closing/invitation to reception

Officiant to all: “Thank you all for joining in this joyous occasion for (Partner A) and (Partner B)! They now invite you to join them for a reception at [LOCATION]. Thank you all!”

This script has been reviewed by the ordained ministers at Universal Life Church Monastery .

As the name indicates, this script for weddings includes religious aspects, such as Bible readings and prayers. Feel free to personalize this idea to your liking and include more or fewer scriptural elements.

Processional

The processional is simply the beginning of the wedding ceremony, when guests are seated, followed by the entrance of the bridal party.

Officiant to reception: "Welcome, loved ones. We are gathered here today in the sight of God and these witnesses to join together [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] in holy matrimony.”

The declaration of intent is a crucial element of any wedding ceremony, and is legally required to show consent among both parties to be married.

Officiant to the couple: "[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B], you have come together this day so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of this minister of his word and this community of family and friends and so, in the presence of this gathering, I ask you to state your intentions:

Have you both come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? If so, answer by saying 'I have.'"

[Couple responds in unison with ‘I have.’]

A reading from the Bible is a common component in many Christian wedding ceremonies. While choosing a passage from Corinthians isn’t required, it’s a popular choice for many.

Officiant to reception: “A reading from the Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’

Let us pray for this couple as they make their marriage vows.

Father, as [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] pledge themselves to each other, help them and bless them that their love may be pure, and their vows may be true. Through Jesus Christ our Lord, amen."

Today’s wedding vows are often personalized according to whatever feels right to the couple. However, a traditional statement of vows is also common in Christian wedding ceremonies.

Couple to each other: “I, [NAME], take thee, [NAME], to be my wedded (husband, wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. This is my solemn vow.”

Officiant to Partner A: "[PARTNER A], please take the ring you have selected for [PARTNER B]. As you place it on his/her finger, repeat after me:

‘With this ring, I thee wed.’"

[Partner A repeats the phrase as they place the ring on Partner B’s finger]

Officiant to Partner B: "[PARTNER B], please take the ring you have selected for [PARTNER A]. As you place it on his/her finger, repeat after me:

[Partner B repeats the phrase as they place the ring on Partner A’s finger]

One distinction of a Christian wedding ceremony script is including a prayer of blessing over the union.

Officiant to the couple: "May Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, always be at the center of the new lives you are now starting to build together, that you may know the ways of true love and kindness. May the Lord bless you both all the days of your lives and fill you with His joy. Amen."

Officiant to reception: “By the power vested in me by the state of [STATE], I now pronounce you [husband and wife, husband and husband, wife and wife]! You may kiss the bride!”

Officiant to all: “Thank you all for joining in this joyous occasion for [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B]! They now invite you to join them for a reception at [LOCATION]. Thank you all!”

As with the Christian script, this version includes religious elements. However, Catholic ceremonies are greatly rooted in tradition and include formal aspects at their core. The officiant is typically a priest, and these services traditionally take place in the church.

Entrance rite

As the entrance song is played, the assembly stands while the priest, ministers, and servers take their places, followed by the wedding party. The rest of this part of the processional can take two forms.

In the first form, the vested priests and servers greet the bridal party at the church door, and then all enter as is customary for Mass. In the second form, the priest and servers wait in the sanctuary area prepared for the couple to greet them when they arrive. In both forms, the priest always leads the procession.

Once everyone is in place and the music has ended, the priest leads the sign of the cross, or the traditional beginning of Christian prayer, before greeting the assembly.

Priest: “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy spirit.”

All respond: “Amen.”

Priest: “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Collect (opening prayer)

The priest invites the assembly to pray. After he prays over the couple, the assembly is seated for the Liturgy of the Word.

Priest: “Be attentive to our prayers, O Lord, and in your kindness uphold what you have established for the increase of the human race, so that the union you have created may be kept safe by your assistance. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever.”

Liturgy of the word

The liturgy of the word outside of mass usually includes three readings proclaimed by the priest, one from the Old Testament, one from the New Testament aside from the Gospel, and one from the Gospel. At the conclusion of each reading, the lector will say, "The Word of the Lord," and the assembly will respond, "Thanks be to God."

Priest: “A reading from the book of Genesis 1:26-28:

Then God said: ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and the cattle, and over all the wild animals and all the creatures that crawl on the ground.” God created man in his image; in the image of God he created him; male and female, he created them. God blessed them, saying: “Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that move on the earth.” God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good. The word of the Lord.’

Assembly responds: “Thanks be to God.”

Priest: “A reading from the New Testament, 1 John 4:7-12:

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

The word of the Lord.”

All respond: “Thanks be to God.”

Priest: “A reading from the Gospel, Matthew 5:13-16:

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

All respond: “Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.”

Assembly is seated.

The assembly is seated while the priest (or deacon) offers a homily taken from the Scripture readings. The priest uses this text to discuss the sacredness of Christian marriage, the dignity of conjugal love, the grace of the sacrament, and the responsibilities of married people.

Priest: "John 3:30 says ‘He must increase, but I must decrease.’

Those simple, direct words of St. John the Baptist, whose feast we celebrate today, summarize the life of the Christian disciple. In all things, we want Jesus to increase and our own will, our own desires, our own attachments, to decrease. In my heart, in my prayer, in my family, in my parish, in my work, in my study, in my leisure, in my entertainment - may the Lord Jesus increase!"

Celebration of matrimony

All stand, and the couple comes to the altar, flanked by their witnesses. The priest will address the couple with a celebration of matrimony:

Priest: “Dearly beloved, you have come together into the house of the church so that in the presence of the church’s minister and the community, your intention to enter into marriage may be strengthened by the Lord with a sacred seal.”

If both parties are Christian: “Christ abundantly blesses the love that binds you. Through a special sacrament, he enriches and strengthens those he has already consecrated by holy baptism, that you may be enriched with his blessing, so that you may have the strength to be faithful to each other forever, and assume all the responsibilities of married life. And so, in the presence of the church, I ask you to state your intentions.”

Address and statement of intentions

All stand, including the couple and witnesses, while the priest asks the couple some questions to state their intentions about their freedom of choice, fidelity to each other, and the acceptance and upbringing of children (if necessary).

Priest to couple: “[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B], have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?”

Couple in unison: “I have.”

Priest to couple: “Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?”

Couple in unison: “I am.”

Exchange of consent

The couple will declare their consent to be married by stating their vows. If you’re writing your own vows, they must be prepared with the wedding script beforehand.

Partner A: “I, [NAME], take you, [NAME], to be my [wife, husband]. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.”

Partner B: “I, [NAME], take you, [NAME], to be my [husband, wife]. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.”

Blessing and giving of rings

Priest: “Bless, O Lord, these rings which we bless in your name. so that those who wear them may remain entirely faithful to each other, abide in peace and in your will, and live always in mutual charity. Through Christ our Lord.”

Assembly responds: “Amen.”

The priest now sprinkles the wedding rings with holy water before handing them to each partner.

Partner A: “[NAME], receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy spirit.”

[Partner A places the ring on Partner B’s finger]

Partner B: “[NAME], receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy spirit.”

[Partner B places the ring on Partner A’s finger]

The priest and the assembly sing or pray the Lord’s Prayer in unison.

Nuptial blessing

The couple kneels at the altar, where the priest faces them and prays over them.

Priest: “Now let us humbly invoke God’s blessing upon this bride and groom, that in his kindness he may favor with his help those on whom he has bestowed the Sacrament of Matrimony.”

The priest performs communion and distributes the body and blood of Christ to Catholics in the assembly, starting with the newly married couple. An appropriate song is usually sung as the assembly proceeds to the altar for communion.

Priest to reception: “By the power vested in me by the state of [STATE], I now pronounce you [husband and wife, husband and husband, wife and wife]! You may now kiss!”

Priest to assembly: “Go in peace to glorify the Lord with your life.”

Recessional

At the closing of the ceremony, the couple, bridal party, ministers, and the priest will proceed out of the church, often accompanied by music.

A Jewish wedding also has traditional elements, many of which are centuries old. Talk to your officiant (often a rabbi) about making changes and personalizing this wedding ceremony outline to fit your needs without breaking Jewish tradition.

Signing of the Ketubah

The Ketubah is an ancient marriage contract that documents the commitment between the couple. Typically, the groom signs the contract with the rabbi and two male Jewish witnesses present, along with the bride, in private before the main ceremony begins.

Officiant: “Please gather around for this ‘ceremony before the ceremony’, the signing of the Ketubah. Bride and groom, in this quiet moment before your public wedding ceremony begins, those closest to you are here to witness the signing of the important documents that make this day a remarkable moment for you both. As you become legally husband and wife, we delight in your happiness, and we wish you only good things to come as you face life together. This beautiful Ketubah has these words for you today, and I ask the groom’s witness [NAME] to read the words.”

[Groom’s witness reads the Ketubah.]

Officiant: “I ask you both to sign the Ketubah as the first ceremonial act of your wedding day celebration.”

[Couple signs the Ketubah.]

Officiant: “Now I ask your parents to sign the Ketubah.”

[Couple’s parents sign the Ketubah.]

Officiant: “And now I sign it as well.”

[Officiant signs the Ketubah.]

The ceremony begins once guests are seated.

Officiant to reception: “This is the day that [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] marry the person they love the most in the world…the one they will laugh with, live for, and love for the rest of their lives. So it is only fitting that those closest to them are here to witness this special day. Your presence at this wedding celebration is a reminder to [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] of how lucky they are to have you in support of their union.”

The chuppah

The chuppah is a canopy structure symbolizing the home the couple will build together following their marriage. Modern couples use the chuppah as an opportunity to customize their wedding and use it as a reflection of their unique taste and style.

Officiant: “The chuppah under which [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] stand is the traditional structure used in a Jewish wedding ceremony. What you see in the setting for this ceremony tells you so much about the path that brings [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] to be married. Today, their families are joined together, and the combined richness of their two heritages will be the foundation for their life together.

As the open sides of a chuppah symbolize hospitality, the chuppah in this ceremony invites you all to feel welcome today, for this is the day of all days that [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] want to share with you.”

After the couple enters the chuppah, the bride/groom circles the bride/groom seven times, symbolizing building a wall of love around the relationship. It also represents the seven days of creation.

Declaration of support

Officiant to the couple: “A marriage is a lifelong adventure. Today’s ceremony, while important, is only the beginning of that journey. Marriage is a challenge that will require [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] to have love and understanding. You must dedicate yourselves to each other, listen to each other, and be honest with each other. You will need laughter and forgiveness, tenderness and empathy.”

Sand ceremony

Officiant to the couple: “We will now begin the sand ceremony. Through it, [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] will symbolize the permanence of the commitment of their marital relationship. They will each pour separate containers of sand into one vessel.

Each of these grains represents a unique aspect of themselves. Their experiences, outlooks, feelings, and the events that shaped them into the person that stands before you. As these grains of sand intermingle in one shared vessel, they symbolize the merging of two individual lives into an inseparable pair.

[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B], just as these grains of sand can never again be separated, so too will you be forever joined.”

Officiant to Partner A: "Do you, [PARTNER A], take this [woman, man] to be your lawfully wedded [wife, husband], to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto [her, him] for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer 'I do.'"

Officiant to Partner B: "Do you, [PARTNER B], take this [man, woman] to be your lawfully wedded [husband, wife], to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto [him, her] for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer 'I do.'"

Officiant to Partner A: "[PARTNER A], as a token of your intentions, please place this ring upon [PARTNER B]’s finger and repeat after me:

‘[PARTNER B], I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.’"

[Partner A repeats the words while placing the ring on Partner B’s finger.]

Officiant to Partner B: "[PARTNER B], as a token of your intentions, please place this ring upon [PARTNER A]’s finger and repeat after me:

‘[PARTNER A], I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.’"

[Partner B repeats the words while placing the ring on Partner A’s finger.]

Blessing of the hands

Officiant to the couple: "[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B], please join hands. Look at these hands, for they are of your closest friend. They are strong and full of love. As you join hands today, you make the promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

Your future will be built by these hands. As the years pass, these hands will love you and cherish you. The slightest touch from these hands will give you comfort. These are the hands that will hold your children. These are the hands that will keep your family as one. When you have tears of sorrow or tears of joy, they will be wiped away by these hands."

The Seven Blessings

The Seven Blessings are now recited.

• Blessing over the wine as a symbol of joy
• Blessing praising God to whom all creation proclaims praise
• Blessing praising God as creator of humanity
• Blessing praising God who created humanity in the divine image
• Prayer of hope
• Prayer for the happiness of the couple
• Prayer for the individual hope for happiness for the couple combined with prayer for joy in the messianic future

Following the Seven Blessings, the couple shares a cup of wine.

Breaking the glass

The ceremony is concluded by the tradition of the groom (or bride) stomping on glass and shattering it. This signals the audience to cheer, dance, and shout “Mazal tov!”

After the ceremony concludes, the final ritual takes place in the yichud or “tent of seclusion.” This is considered to be one of the most private and intimate parts of the wedding day, where the newlyweds can savor their first moments alone before the celebration continues.

There are many denominations within the Protestant faith, and the standard ceremony for each may vary. Those with a more liberal interpretation of the wedding ceremony might be open to including more nontraditional elements in the wedding script. The script below is adapted from the Book of Common Prayer, and is just one of many possible variations of a Protestant wedding ceremony.

Introductory prayer

The officiant, known as the celebrant, faces the couple and congregation and offers an introduction:

Officiant: “Dearly beloved, we have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this couple in holy matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by His presence and first miracle at the wedding at Cana in Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and His church, and holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people.

The union of marriage is intended by God for their mutual joy, for the help and comfort given each other in prosperity and adversity, and, when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.”

The interrogation

Celebrant to the congregation: “Into this union [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not be lawfully wed, speak now, or else forever hold your peace.”

Celebrant to the couple: “I charge you both, here in the presence of God and the witness of this company, that if either of you know any reason why you may not be married lawfully and in accordance with God's word, do now confess it.”

Celebrant to Partner A: “[PARTNER A], will you have this [woman, man] to be your [wife, husband], to live together with [her, him] in the covenant of marriage? Will you love [her, him], comfort [her, him], honor and keep [her, him], in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, be faithful unto [her, him] as long as you both shall live?”

Partner A: “I will.”

Celebrant to Partner B: “[PARTNER B], will you have this [man, woman] to be your [husband, wife], to live together with [him/her] in the covenant of marriage? Will you love [him/her], comfort [him/her], honor and keep [him/her], in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, be faithful unto [him/her] as long as you both shall live?”

Partner B: “I will.”

Celebrant to the congregation: “Will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage?”

Congregation responds: “We will.”

The presentation

The presentation represents the traditional “giving away” of the bride, typically followed by a hymn. Modern Protestants may opt for a poem, romantic reading, or song of their choice in place of a hymn.

Celebrant: “Who gives [PARTNER A] to be married to [PARTNER B]?”

Partner A or B’s father: “[He, she] gives [himself, herself], with the blessing of [his, her] mother and father.”

Some modern Protestants might choose to write their own wedding vows, but the traditional vows most often recited are as follows:

Partner A to Partner B: “In the name of God, I, [NAME], take you, [NAME], to be my [wife, husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do we part. This is my solemn vow.”

Partner B to Partner A: “In the name of God, I, [NAME], take you, [NAME], to be my [husband, wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do we part. This is my solemn vow.”

The blessing and exchange of rings

The celebrant offers a blessing on the rings: “Bless, O Lord, these rings as a symbol of the vows by which this couple have bound themselves to each other, through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Congregation responds: “Amen.”

Partner A and Partner B place the rings on each other’s fingers and say: “I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

The celebrant joins the right hands of both partners and says: “Now that [NAME] and [NAME] have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce them [husband and wife, husband and husband, wife and wife] in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Those who God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”

Concluding prayers

The celebrant asks the congregation to stand and repeat the Lord’s Prayer:

All: “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.”

In traditional Protestant weddings, the celebrant will direct the couple to kneel while further blessings and songs are offered. The celebrant then addresses the kneeling couple and recites another blessing:

Celebrant: “May God bless you and keep you; may the Lord mercifully with his favor look upon you, filling you with all spiritual benediction and grace; that you may faithfully live together in this life, and in the age to come have life everlasting. Amen.”

Celebrant to the congregation: “The peace of the Lord be with you always.”

All respond: “And also with you.”

Finally, the couple stands to face each other while the celebrant offers a final line to end the ceremony:

Celebrant: “[NAME] and [NAME], having witnessed your vows of love to one another, it is my joy to present you to all gathered here as [husband and wife, husband and husband, wife and wife]. You may now kiss!”

While writing your wedding ceremony script might feel daunting, these tips can help take the pressure off and provide some much-needed guidance on how to bring your ceremony vision to life—whatever that means to you.

1. Talk with your partner

Writing your script is an opportunity to reflect on the significance of your relationship before you enter into marriage. Talking with your partner about your ideas and desires for your wedding ceremony is an important first step—it helps you get aligned on a mutual vision and ensures the ceremony is a reflection of what matters most to you as a couple.

2. Work with your officiant

Your officiant can provide practical advice on how to get started crafting your ceremony script, and some might even have an outline for you to work from. Since your officiant has most likely conducted their fair share of wedding ceremonies, they’re an excellent resource for any questions you might have.

3. Don’t procrastinate

While you certainly don’t need to memorize your wedding ceremony script, don't put it off until the last minute—especially if you plan on writing your own vows . Procrastinating until the week of your wedding can add a ton of pressure to an already hectic time, so do yourself a favor and get started early!

4. Consider the length of your script

While your wedding ceremony script should be whatever you want it to be, being mindful of time and length is something your guests will appreciate. Anything longer than 30 minutes might leave guests checking their watches! Once you’ve written a draft and have the chance to rehearse it, you’ll find that you can pack plenty of meaning and resonance in less than 15 minutes.

Now that you’ve read some ceremony script examples, you can confidently start writing your own! No matter what you decide to include, what matters most is that the words shared are from the heart and represent what your marriage means to you. Here’s an ultra-simple outline to help you start formulating your own wedding script for officiants to use.

• Officiant’s welcome
• Short sermon to the congregation
• Charge to the couple
• Declaration of the intent to marry
• Pronouncement of marriage
• Conclusion and invitation to reception

Find answers to any lingering wedding ceremony script questions below.

How do I personalize my wedding ceremony script?

Start by nailing down the overall format of your script, including the order of the ceremony and the role of the officiant. Then weave in personal elements significant to you and your partner, such as customizing your vows, a special unity ceremony, or a reading that holds meaning. Remember, there’s no rule that says you have to follow a traditional wedding ceremony script.

How do I start a wedding ceremony script?

Most wedding ceremony outlines start with the wedding officiant welcoming guests and thanking them for joining in the wedding day. Religious ceremonies may start with a reading from the Bible or whatever is customary for different faiths. That said, your ceremony script can begin however you like, whether that’s opening with a meaningful quote, poem, or endearing story about you and your partner.

Where can I find wedding ceremony scripts?

The best place to find both religious and non religious wedding ceremony scripts is online. You can find downloadable pre-written scripts by searching for a specific religious denomination or the mood you want your ceremony to take. For extra inspiration, search for wedding ceremony videos on YouTube to get a feel for what different scripts sound like during a real ceremony.

How long should the officiant speak at the wedding?

Your officiant wedding script should get straight to the point while adding personality. Talk to your celebrant about the parts that are most important to you, such as giving a blessing to the couple . However, if the sermon isn’t essential to you, feel free to shorten it. The last thing you want to do is bore your guests, so concise yet interesting is best.

Although there is a bit of protocol surrounding the order of service, there is a lot of freedom within with most scripts. If you’re particularly religious, you may want to chat with your priest, rabbi, or pastor about how to best adapt your ceremony. However, if you’re not planning on a religious ceremony, chat with your partner about expectations and how to go from expected to highly personal.

As you finish off your wedding planning, Zola is here to help every step of the way. Whether designing custom wedding invitations or putting the final touches on your wedding registry , Zola has all the expert advice you’ll need to make your wedding vision come to life.

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AMM CEREMONY SCRIPTS LIBRARY

Need help figuring out what to say when you officiate a wedding? Check out our wedding ceremony script library. Whether you are looking for a ceremony with a marriage officiant speech, non-religious wedding ceremony script, christian ceremony script, or a wedding ceremony template, we have all the sample wedding ceremony scripts you could want. Check them out!

POPULAR SCRIPT TAGS

40 sample ceremony scripts.

Check out these free wedding ceremony scripts. Use them as is, draw inspiration, or adapt them for your own ceremony.

SIMPLE CEREMONIES

• A Simple Wedding Ceremony
• Simple Commitment Ceremony Script
• Simple Civil Wedding Ceremony

CIVIL CEREMONIES

• Civil Wedding Ceremony With Words Of Commitment
• Civil Wedding Ceremony With Thesis Of Natural Community
• Civil Wedding Ceremony With Charge To Couple And Confirmation Of Love

CHRISTIAN CEREMONIES

• Christian Ceremony Script With A Bible Reading And Prayer
• Christian Ceremony Script With Reading From Corinthians
• Christian Ceremony Script With Reading From Genesis
• Christian Ceremony Script
• Christian Ceremony Script With Salt Covenant

NON-RELIGIOUS CEREMONIES

• Short Non Religious Wedding Ceremony With Heartfelt Invocation
• Simple Non Religious Wedding Ceremony With Rings Exchange
• Quick Non Religious Wedding Ceremony
• Gender Neutral Ceremony
• Basic Non Religious Wedding Ceremony With Rings Exchange
• Short Non Religious Wedding Ceremony

SAMPLE CEREMONIES

• Family Oriented Ceremony Script
• Celebration Of Community Ceremony Script
• Minimalist Ceremony Script
• Spanish Language Wedding Ceremony Script
• Religious Ceremony Script
• Written Vows Ceremony Script
• Reading And Unity Candle Ceremony Script
• All Inclusive Ceremony Script
• Short Christian Ceremony Script

CEREMONIES INCLUDING CHILDREN

• Christian Wedding Ceremony Script With Recognition Of Children
• Fun Non Religious Wedding Ceremony Script With Reference To Children
• Wedding Ceremony Script With Covenant Of Children

COVID-SAFE CEREMONIES

• A Virtual Wedding Ceremony Script with Special Readings
• A Covid-safe Wedding Ceremony Script with Flowers and Light

SEASONAL CEREMONIES

• Spring Equinox Flower Ceremony Script
• Winter Solstice Ceremony Script With Candle Lighting

JEWISH CEREMONIES

• A Modern Jewish Wedding Ceremony Script With Sand Ceremony
• A Modern Gender Neutral Jewish Wedding Ceremony Script

HANDFASTING CEREMONIES

• A Simple Handfasting Ceremony Script
• A Modern Wiccan Handfasting Ceremony and Script
• A Modern Humanist Handfasting Script
• Pagan Handfasting Script with Fire, Flowers and Offerings
• Variation on a Pagan Handfasting, Incorporating Multiple Generations

Check out our most recent ceremony scripts by following the button below.

10 NEW CEREMONY SCRIPTS

• Christian Feet Washing Wedding Ceremony Script with Bible Reading
• Catholic Inspired LGBTQ+ Inclusive Wedding Ceremony Script
• Pantheist Wedding Ceremony Script with Reading from Carl Sagan
• Sweet & Spooky Horror Movie Theme Wedding Ceremony Script
• Christian Wedding Script with Cord of Three Strands Ceremony
• Muslim & Christian Interfaith Wedding Ceremony Script
• Muslim & Jewish Intercultural Wedding Ceremony Script
• Winter Solstice Wedding Ceremony with Reading from 'Northern Sky'
• Surprise Wedding Ceremony Script
• Atheist Wedding Ceremony Script with Funny Unity Toast

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The Book of Wedding Vows and Ceremonies

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