make thesis sound more sophisticated

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How to rephrase a thesis statement to make it stronger, dr. wilson mn.

• August 3, 2022

After you have written your thesis statement, you might want to go back and revise it to make it sound more polished or professional. This process is called rephrasing and is challenging. In this article, we will give you some tips on how to rephrase your thesis statement so that it sounds its best.

What You'll Learn

Thesis Statement Structure

When you are ready to begin writing your paper, the first step is to rephrase your thesis statement so that it sounds better. This can be a difficult task, but it is worth the effort to make sure that your thesis statement is clear and concise. Here are some tips on how to rephrase your thesis statement so that it sounds better:

1. Break down your thesis statement into smaller parts. This will help you to focus on each individual component of your thesis statement and make sure that it is clear and concise. Here’s a simple thesis statement formula to use:

2. Make sure that each part of your thesis statement flows smoothly into the next. This will help to create a cohesive argument for your paper.

3. Use active voice when possible. Active voice makes your arguments sound more forceful and persuasive.

4. Avoid using jargon or overly technical language. Stick to using clear and simple language that can be understood by everyone.

5. Read your thesis statement aloud to yourself or have someone else read it aloud to you. This will help you to catch any errors or awkward phrasing that you may have missed.

By following these tips, you can be sure that your thesis statement will sound better and be easier for your readers to

Here’s How To Approach Nursing Research Paper Writing – Step By Step Guideline

Rephrasing A Thesis statement

Whether you’re writing an essay for school or a paper for publication, rephrasing your thesis statement is a great way to make it sound more polished and professional. Here are some tips on how to do it:

– First, break your thesis down into its component parts. What are the main points you’re trying to make? Identify the most important one, and rephrase it in a way that is both concise and clear.

– Next, look at each of the other points you’re making and see if there’s a way to express them more succinctly. Try to boil them down to their essence, and state them in a way that is both easy to understand and packs a punch.

– Finally, put it all together and take a look at your new thesis statement. If it sounds awkward or unclear, keep working at it until it sounds just right. With a little effort, you can end up with a much stronger statement that will make your essay that much more effective.

Check out the thesis statement generator

Rewording A Thesis Statement Tips

Are you working on a paper and feel like your thesis statement could be better? If so, don’t worry! It’s a common problem and there are some easy ways to fix it. Here are a few tips on how to rephrase a thesis statement to sound better:

1. Make sure your thesis is clear and concise. This is the most important thing to remember when rephrasing your thesis statement. It should be easy for your reader to understand what you’re trying to say.

2. Use strong language. Avoid phrases like “I think” or “I believe”. These make your thesis statement sound weaker. Instead, use language that is more definitive and confident.

3. Be specific. vague statements will make your thesis statement sound weak and uninteresting. Be as specific as possible to hold your reader’s attention and make them want to read more.

4. Use active voice. Passive voice can make your thesis statement sound dull and boring. Active voice is much more engaging and will make your reader want to continue reading.

5. Avoid clichés. Clichés are overused and tired phrases that don’t add anything new or interesting to your paper. Instead, try to

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If you’re looking for help with rephrasing your thesis statement, look no further than thestudycorp.com! We’ll show you how to take your original statement and improve upon it, making it sound stronger and more concise. Check out our blog post on the subject for more tips and tricks.

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How to Write a Strong Thesis Without Laundry Listing

Amy sterling casil.

A good thesis statement can make the difference between a poor, average, or excellent grade. Avoid a "laundry list," which is a term instructors use to describe a simple list of poorly related elements included in the body of the paper. Include well-connected ideas to create a sophisticated, thoughtful thesis. Use the thesis to build a strong paper that will achieve a better grade instead of a weak list of academic terms or unrelated concepts.

Explore this article

• What is a "Laundry List" Thesis Sentence?
• Consider the Paper Assignment
• Use a Preliminary Thesis Sentence
• Examine Your Assumptions

1 What is a "Laundry List" Thesis Sentence?

Textbook authors David Rossenwasser and Jill Stephen identified two types of weak thesis statements in student papers. The first was called "Procrustean Bed," in which students cut out necessary concepts to fit a narrow thesis, resulting in short, unsophisticated papers. The second problem thesis, the "Laundry List," is a list of unrelated or poorly related ideas or information. Expanding the "Laundry List" in the body of the paper produces incoherent writing that makes little sense.

2 Consider the Paper Assignment

Develop your thesis statement to fit the type of paper you have been assigned to write. Identify at least three to four connected components of an assigned topic, and include them in the thesis for an analytical paper. Determine three or four key elements of an explanation to answer the prompt for an expository paper. Include at least three or four in-depth grounds or reasons in support of your opinion or claim for an argumentative paper.

3 Use a Preliminary Thesis Sentence

Writing instructor Karen Gocsik advises students to sketch out their ideas about a paper and rethink them before finding an "umbrella idea" that will include all of the major concepts the paper will cover. Write a preliminary thesis statement as you start writing the paper. Review your writing and revise the preliminary thesis statement to fit the big umbrella of all of your ideas after you complete a rough draft or detailed outline.

4 Examine Your Assumptions

Opinions that are not carefully considered are called assumptions. Eliminate assumptions and develop more sophisticated ideas by combining new information with your own opinions. Note the specific words used by authors in material you have been asked to study and write about. Analyze the specific words and concepts first; then add your own opinion. You will automatically synthesize the new information with what you previously thought and write a more complex, sophisticated thesis sentence and paper.

• 1 Dartmouth Writing Program: Teaching the Thesis Sentence
• 2 Purdue Online Writing Lab: Tips and Examples for Writing Thesis Statements

About the Author

Amy Sterling Casil is an award-winning writer with a Master of Fine Arts in creative writing from Chapman University in Orange, Calif. She is a professional author and college writing teacher, and has published 20 nonfiction books for schools and libraries.

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Have you ever read a report, article, or book, and wished that your writing sounded as good? All writers feel as though what they write is not nearly as good as works written by someone else. However, a few stylistic aspects set the great writers apart from the amateurs.

The stylistic aspects we are talking about are easy to learn. It is just learning alternatives to the way you may write now. Who knows what makes these styles sophisticated over any other way of writing; but in today's world, they are considered the better, more sophisticated way of writing, so it only benefits you to use them.

The first stylistic aspect of your writing that will make it sound more sophisticated is in your sentence structure. Two common structures that are attributed to amateur writers are in examples listed below:

Running to the store, she tripped and fell over a rock.

As she ran to the store, she tripped and fell over a rock.

Both the "as" and the "ing" construction are grammatically correct; however, they are constructions that are known to be used by newer, less experienced writers. The problem with using these is that they are lazy. Although they show action, they can be a shortcut used by the writer to show action as quickly and easily as possible, or they can be an unneeded distraction from the action that is taking place. Either way, they weaken your writing.

Use an alternative to these constructions, such as:

She tripped and fell over a rock on her way to the store.

Since "tripped" and "fell" are the verbs in this sentence, it is important to construct the sentence to show this. "On her way to the store" is simply what she was doing when she tripped and fell. It is not the action.

Another way to avoid looking like an amateur is to avoid using clichés. Clichés are expressions that are commonly used when speaking. For example: "Living life in the fast lane," or "not being worth a plugged nickel" are both worn-out clichés. They are used so often, they no longer mean anything when you use them in your writing. They are not adequate descriptions, and they do not show your readers anything except that you do not know how to be original.

Beware of other clichés that are not only over-used, they do not make any sense anyway. Editors and publishers particularly get tired of expressions such as "she tossed her head." When is the last time you saw anyone toss his or her head? How far did they toss it? While this may sound good to you as the writer, and you may think you are being clever, your descriptions should never rely on clichés or figures of speech that describe an impossible action.

Do not create clichéd characters, either. The computer geek with the pocket protector is a stereotype. He is clichéd. The characters that you create are individuals . Do not follow stereotypes or clichés when you create them. Instead, make them three-dimensional beings that are believable and unique. If you resort to using stereotypes and clichés, your characters will seem more like cartoon characters or bad parodies that are uninteresting and unbelievable. Nothing will turn your reader off more quickly than that.

There are so many clichés in the English language that it is impossible never to use one. You may find yourself in a position where you need to use a cliché to adequately describe a situation. However, before you just type out the cliché, try altering it a bit. Make it less familiar to the reader and tailor it to the situation you need it for. Look at the example below.

The fog was thicker than pea soup that night.

The fog was thicker than watered-down pea soup that night.

When we discuss dialogue avoid using "-ly" adverbs with your speaker attributions. These adverbs serve to tell the reader how something was said, but your dialogue and descriptions should show, instead. It is also easy for newer writers to use these adverbs in sentences to show action, as in the example below.

Angrily she set her coat on the couch.

This may be okay in a first draft because you convey the action taking place, but when you edit, weed out these adverbs. They tell. They do not show.

Try this instead:

She slung her coat onto the couch.

In the first example, the verb is weak and does little to show action, so the writer added an "-ly" adverb to try to strengthen it. However, it only weakened it even more. When you find yourself in a position where you feel that you need to use an "-ly" adverb, try using a stronger verb instead.

Of course, there are always exceptions. If using an "-ly" adverb is the only way that you can completely describe the action taking place, and you are using a strong verb already, then it is not unacceptable or unprofessional to use an adverb.

Nobody is going to tell you to quit using "-ly" adverbs altogether. What experts will tell you is that amateur writers use them frequently. Weed out as many as you can and replace them with stronger verbs. Keep your writing strong. Make sure it shows the action, and make sure you are not whimping out on showing action by using "shortcuts." The more you write using proper mechanics and advanced stylistic techniques, the less you will be inclined to make amateur mistakes. Before you know it, everything you write will come out sounding better than your best piece does right now.

Style is simply defined as the manner of "voice" that a writer uses to tell the audience what is going on. Style is evident in syntax and diction, as well as figures of speech, such as metaphors. With fiction, the style you use may be influenced by the era in which the story takes place, the setting, or the education or background of your narrator or characters.

In non-fiction and journalism, style may be partially dictated by style guides. Style guides give examples of acceptable uses of words, proper spellings, punctuation, and typography to be used when preparing work for publication. Writers use style guides, as do copy editors and proofreaders to ensure factual accuracy and consistency.

Making sure that your style is consistent throughout a body of work lends to the sophistication of your writing. If you have a character who talks with a southern twang early in the book, make sure it carries throughout the book. On the other hand, if you spell "judgement" (British English) in one place in a body of work, make sure you do not spell it as "judgment" (American English) later on. You can always create a style sheet to make note of things like this, so you do not forget when creating longer pieces or sequels.

A list of style guides is included below for your reference:

AIP Style Manual: For Guidance in Writing, Editing, and Preparing Physics

The AMA Style Guide for Business Writing

The AMS Author Handbook (Mathematics) Manual of Style: A Guide for Authors and Editors ( Medical editing and proofreading) The Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual (Journalism, non-fiction, and fiction as well) Geowriting: A Guide to Writing, Editing, and Printing in Earth Science

The Bluebook: A Uniform System of Citation (Law) The Chicago Manual of Style (Non-fiction, fiction) Scientific Style and Format: The CBE Manual for Authors, Editors, and Publishers The ACS Style Guide: A Manual for Authors and Editors A Style Manual for Citing Microform and Nonprint Media

Other Ways to Make Your Writing More Sophisticated

• Avoid using too many exclamation points to show emotion. It makes you seem as though you are insecure with the strength of your dialogue.
• Avoid using italics to put emphasis on words. They are not needed if your dialogue is strong.
• Avoid flowery, poetic figures of speech. Oftentimes, this pulls the reader out of the story. Use clear descriptions that apply to the scene. There is no need to try to impress anyone with your poetic ability unless you are writing poetry.
• Avoid a lot of profanity. Amateur writers use profanity for shock value and sophistication, but using it does not achieve either. If your character swears a lot, just make sure it fits with the scene. Otherwise, one profane word in a book has a lot more effect than a dozen on each page.

Substitutions and Poor Phrasing

There are hundreds of phrases that can enhance your writing, but sometimes writers err on the side of "wordiness." They use phrases they believe sound more formal, more interesting, or more unusual than common alternatives. Unfortunately, if these phrases are using more words than needed to get the point across, they just end up cluttering the sentence. Below are several examples of poor phrasing, along with better alternatives.

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Four Ways to Make Your Writing Sound Prettier

by Joe Bunting | 17 comments

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Some writers write prose that sounds good. The writing makes you want to read it slow, as if you could let the words melt on your tongue.

I once read some of Faulkner's Sartoris out loud to Liz. Faulkner is known for his long, convoluted sentences and huge jumps in the narrative. Liz said, “Eugh. That's an intense sentence. Do you even understand that?”

“Kind of,” I said. “Not really. But it's beautiful.” The thing is, I didn't need to understand it. The way the words sounded was enough.

Photo by JD Hancock

Here's some vocabulary for you. The study of the sounds of words and sentences is called phonoaesthetics. Thus, someone who studies the sounds of words would then be called a phonoaesthete (isn't that a fun word!). And when the words and sentences sound pleasant together, it's called euphony—as opposed to cacophony.

So that's our vocab for the day (or week):

• Phonoaesthetics – the study of the sounds of words whether pleasant or unpleasant
• Euphony – Pleasant sounding words and sentences
• Cacophony – Unpleasant sounding words and sentences

How To Make Your Writing Sound Euphonic

The question, then, is how do we make our writing sound more interesting? Here are four suggestions:

1. Alliteration

Alliteration is the repetition of the first letter of the word throughout a sentence. Alliteration gives a sentence flow. If each letter were a color, it would be like painting with a palette of corresponding colors. Alliteration smooths out hard edges and creates smooth lines. Here's a quick example.

Tommy took the truck to the train station.

Lot's of repeated T's there. Below is an example from Herman Melville's Moby Dick . See if you can spot the alliteration.

Um-m. So he must. I do deem it now a most meaning thing, that that old Greek, Prometheus, who made men, they say, should have been a blacksmith, and animated them with fire.

Did you see it? Right, the M's throughout the sentence and a few D's in the beginning. Try reading it out loud. See how well the sentence flows. Melville used alliteration all over the place, and he is considered one of the great American masters.

2. Consonance

Consonance is the repetition of consonant sounds inside of a word. The repetition of consonants (which are the opposite of vowels), especially hard consonants like T's and K's, tend to create cacophony rather than euphony. Here's another example from Moby Dick. It's a bit harder.

Ere the Pequod's weedy hull rolls side by side with the barnacled hulls of the leviathan…

Did you see it? I'll show the example again with the repeated consonants highlighted.

Ere the Pequod's weedy hu ll ro ll s side by side with the barnac l ed hu ll s of the l eviathan…

Now do you hear all those L sounds? Read it again really slow and you'll see how the consonance ties the sentence together beautifully. The L's almost make you feel rolly, as if you are on the deck of a ship lilting in sea.

3. Assonance

Assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds inside of the word. Theoretically, assonance can create mood, give you like airy feelings if you're repeating ae and ee sounds, and deep soulful feelings when repeating oe sounds. Finding assonance is a bit harder still, but here's another example from Moby Dick .

And as though not a soul were nigh him…

Did you see it? I'll show it again with highlights.

And as th ou gh not a s ou l were nigh him…

Here, Melville repeats the ough sound, as in dough and mow. Theoretically, the emphasis of the ough sound should make you feel more expansive and soulful. However, I'm not very good at using assonance so I can't tell you for sure. You might experiment with it.

4. The Single BEST Way To Make Your Writing Sound Better

The best way to make your writing more euphonic is to read beautiful writing and read it slow.

Here's why. Authors don't approach the blank page thinking, “Oh, I think I'll focus on assonance today. Hmm… maybe I should play with Alliteration.” No. They do it instinctively, and the best way to hone your instincts is through careful reading.

Take a page or even just a paragraph of a piece of literature and read it slowly over five to ten minutes. Sound the words out as you go. Read aloud so that you can hear the words as well as visualize them.

(And then practice writing beautifully yourself.)

Reading, more than anything else, will hone your instincts for phonoaesthetics.

PRACTICE For our practice time today, why don't you use the chance to start something for the “Show Off” Contest . The prompt is Christmas . First, follow the link and pick a random passage of Moby Dick , and read for five minutes . Choose just one or two paragraphs. Pay special attention to the sounds of Melville's prose. Let the rhythms sink into you. Then, just write. Write about your favorite Christmas memory. Write about your worst Christmas. Write about the best gift you ever received and what made it special. As you write, listen to the sounds and let your mind drift away. Focus on sound not meaning. Write for ten minutes . Post your practice in the comments when you're done.

Joe Bunting

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris , a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

17 Comments

Christmas had passed in a whirlwind as we prepared to marry on the twenty-seventh of December. The greenery was still hanging, though only by a thin thread, in the candlelit sanctuary that cold winter evening. Friends and family found their way through the frigid night to join us in the warmth of the church that had long been the spiritual and social center of that small community.

The flicker of flame illuminated the colorful bouquets beautifully arranged in delicate fingers. Voices soulfully singing the love songs of the ages joined the prayers of the saints in a symphony of adoration rivaling the likes of Solomon himself.

The pull of gravity lost all power as she entered the room. All heads turned towards her like sunflowers worshiping the sun. Galileo would be unable to theorize the unexplainable force we all felt that winter night thirty one years ago.

Light reflected off her softly veiled eyes as she moved down the aisle in her father’s arm. All spectrum of color melted into shadow as the gown of white cascaded from her beauty. Blonde tresses framed her loveliness. A loveliness that I knew seeped deep into her beautiful soul.

We met at the altar, in awe of the gift of love; the gift of God.

Wow, Tom. This is a bit different from you, and you do a great job of it. You did a great job weaving alliteration in there through out. It makes it more readable, doesn’t it?

Like this: “the spiritual and social center of that small community.” This sentence is fairly boring in regards to its meaning, but the alliteration gives it flow.

Here’s another quick exercise for you. You’re a musician. Read this aloud again: “Voices soulfully singing the love songs of the ages joined the prayers of the saints in a symphony of adoration rivaling the likes of Solomon himself. ”

How does that sound to you? I’m wondering if that’s a few too many S’s. Of course, I’m the one who told you to do it, so if there are, it’s my fault.

You know about the Inklings? The writing group Tolkien and CS Lewis were part of. They met at a pub in Oxford, and sometimes they would read this one female author I forget the name of who overused alliteration. They had contests to see who could read the longest without cracking up. When I heard this story I got all panicky and thought, am I overusing alliteration? Like all tools, you’ve got to find the right use for them. Use alliteration but be aware of when it can seem silly.

I think you did a great job though. Alliteration can pass on a mood of awe, perfect for this story. It must have been a good “Christmas.” Thanks Tom.

Haha! Yes, that one sentence reminds me of the kid’s tongue twister, “She sells sea shells by the seashore.” What if I just deleted the first part of that sentence and started with “The love songs…”?

Ha, right. Yeah, I think that would work. Good idea.

Very, very, very nice and thoughtful piece. I especially liked your “All heads turned towards her like sunflowers worshipping the sun” and “the pull of gravity lost all power as she entered the room.” So much emotion and color in such a short piece.

I am so glad I discovered this article of yours. Writing is simply a difficult task for me but please review my short paragraph. I am in the process of revision for my English standard grade exam.- I pondered, desperately pleading the hesitant burning ball of gas to reveal its strange yet comforting rays of light. The warm,orange glow that sinks into my skin during the summer time. Let the weariness of adventure of the winter time pass as it takes along with it the left overs of Christmas past.

Christmas day, 1989. The television tunes to a macabre and unfortunately pleasing gift. The Caucescu’s bloody and broken bodies lay, folded backwards. A sense of release and relief is felt by those who poor and starving have over the past 20 years toiled endlessly to grow food they cannot eat, craft merchandise they cannot afford, and it’s amazing to see how much joy can be derived out of someone else’s demise. The show trial went for 90 minutes. The old man, exhausted, throws his hat on the table in resignation. Much to their protest their hands are now tied behind their backs. This is the nadir. The soldiers have no pity on them. As one exclaims, no one will help them now. Their only last request – to be killed together. Mercifully that last request is granted. Rounds of bullets send an impenetrable cloud of dirt and debris into the air, and only when the smoke clears can we see the end result. Elaine and Nikola lay,

dead. – together.

[Hook] x4 Got the club going up on a Tuesday Got yo girl in the cut and she choosy

[Verse] Working Monday night, on the corner flipping hard Made at least three thousand, on the Boulevard I’ve been working graveyard, shifts every other weekend Ain’t got no fucking time to party on the weekend I’ve been flipping in the house, making juugs on the highway I’ve been riding out of state, making money like my way I don’t think that I should dance, I’m just gon have another drink I’m doing my stance, you know my Molly pink I’ve got the loudest of the loud, you know my gas stink My P.O. think I’m in the house, don’t give a damn about what she think

[Bridge] It ain’t no way no how I made it on my own, I made my own style I don’t think that I should stay, you know I gotta go You moving too fast, don’t want to take it slow

[Hook] x4 Got the club going up on a Tuesday. Got yo girl in the cut and she choosy

[Verse] Working Monday night, on the corner flipping hard Made at least three thousand, on the Boulevard I’ve been working graveyard, shifts every other weekend Ain’t got no fucking time to party on the weekend I’ve been flipping in the house, making juugs on the highway I’ve been riding out of state, making money like my way I don’t think that I should dance, I’m just gon have another drink I’m doing my stance, you know my Molly pink. I’ve got the loudest of the loud, you know my gas stink My P.O. think I’m in the house, don’t give a damn about what she think

Jon Bon Jovi – Blaze Of Glory

I wake up in the morning And I raise my weary head I got an old coat for a pillow And the earth was last night’s bed I don’t know where I’m going Only God knows where I’ve been I’m a devil on the run A six gun lover A candle in the wind When you’re brought into this world They say you’re born in sin Well at least they gave me something I didn’t have to steal or have to win Well they tell me that I’m wanted Yeah I’m a wanted man I’m colt in your stable I’m what Cain was to Abel Mister catch me if you can I’m going down in a blaze of glory Take me now but know the truth I’m going down in a blaze of glory Lord I never drew first But I drew first blood I’m no one’s son Call me young gun You ask about my consience And I offer you my soul You ask If I’ll grow to be a wise man Well I ask if I’ll grow old You ask me if I known love And what it’s like to sing songs in the rain Well,I’ve seen love come And I’ve seen it shot down I’ve seen it die in vain Shot down in a blaze of glory Take me now but know the truth ‘Cause I’m going down in a blaze of glory Lord I never drew first But I drew first blood I’m the devil’s son Call me young gun Each night I go to bed I pray the Lord my soul to keep No I ain’t looking for forgiveness But before I’m six foot deep Lord,I got to ask a favor And I’ll hope you’ll understand ‘Cause I’ve lived life to the fullest Let the boy die like a man Staring down the bullet Let me make my final stand Shot down in a blaze of glory Take me now but know the truth I’m going out in a blaze of glory Lord I never drew first But I drew first blood and I’m no one’s son Call me young gun I’m a young gun

Some times while writing a chapter a song will play in my head this is one that’s playing today, as I near the books end.

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Supporting a Thesis: Using Rhetorical Appeals

The purpose of a position argument is to persuade readers to adopt a viewpoint. Writers of position arguments focus on a thesis that takes a stance on a debatable issue and supports that thesis with reasoning and evidence. When writing persuasively, consider your audience and use the kinds of reasoning strategies and evidentiary appeals you believe will be convincing. In addition, use language with which your audience is most comfortable. In academic environments, academic language is generally most acceptable, although you may choose to challenge this notion for rhetorical purposes. Outside academic environments, tailor your language to connect best with your audience.

Reasoning is most effective when it is built on evidence that readers recognize as logical and practical. Suppose you want to persuade your audience that because of the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, additional police should be hired to protect the building and the people who work there. You could include information about the number of police on duty that day, the number of people injured, and the amount of damage done. You then could explain how the number of police on duty was insufficient to protect the people and the Capitol.

Additionally, you identify and refute the counterclaims . An example of a counterclaim against hiring additional police officers might be that the cost is too high. Your response, then, might be that the cost could easily be shifted from another nationally funded source.

Characteristics of Position Arguments

Ethos (ethical appeal).

You establish credibility by showing readers that your approach to the issue is fair and that you can be trusted. One way to demonstrate fairness and trustworthiness is to use neutral language that avoids name-calling. For instance, in your paper about hiring additional police to defend the Capitol, you would avoid taking political sides and would use neutral language when describing police, workers in the Capitol, and demonstrators.

To show trustworthiness, always follow these guidelines:

• Use only respected, reliable sources as evidence. Avoid sources that lean heavily to the political right or left or that are otherwise questionable as to accuracy. Reliable sources include scholarly, peer-reviewed articles and books, professional articles and books, and articles from magazines, newspapers, websites, and blogs. For more information about credible sources, see the chapter in Part 5 on evaluating sources.
• Present evidence from sources in the same context in which it was originally presented. Do not change the original author’s meaning or tone. Be especially careful of such changes when paraphrasing or summarizing.
• Cite evidence from the proper sources. Use the citation style required by your instructor, usually MLA Documentation and Format or APA Documentation and Format Proper citations direct readers to more information about your sources and show you are not plagiarizing.
• Incorporate common ground between readers who support your position and those who do not. To do this, many authors use evidence pulled from patriotic or religious documents to create ethical appeal. For instance, regarding the activity that took place at the Capitol, both sides might find common ground in the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which outlines the rights of the people. The protestors might cite the section of the amendment that deals with freedom of assembly; those on the other side might point out that the amendment guarantees “the right of the people peaceably to assemble” and make the case that the assembly was not peaceable.

Logos (Logical Appeal)

You appeal to your audience’s intelligence by showing that you understand the value of sound reasoning. To do this, state your position clearly and support it with rational arguments, critical thinking, and credible evidence. Also, avoid exaggerating or making claims you cannot support with reliable evidence. Many authors use facts and statistics to create logical appeal.

To appeal to logic, follow these guidelines:

• State your position clearly with easy-to-understand language. For example, to appeal to readers’ intelligence in your paper about hiring additional police to defend the Capitol, avoid using vocabulary that would feel unnatural. Instead of writing, “The verbiage from the campaigners importuned the dispossession of their statesmen,” write, “The protestors demanded the resignations of their congressional representatives.”
• Support your position with sound reasoning that is neither incomplete nor faulty. Sound reasoning is that which all can agree makes sense. For example, you would not contend that the Capitol police force must be doubled from 2,000 to 4,000 to be ready for future protests because you cannot know the number needed at any time. However, you could argue that the Capitol police force and government leaders should study the January 6, 2021, riot to determine how many additional police are needed, should such an occasion arise again.
• Present your critical thinking through a well-constructed argument. By ordering your position argument in a manner that moves logically from one point to the next, you help guide readers through your thought process, which is reflected in the smooth flow of ideas that work together to support your thesis.
• Incorporate credible evidence from trusted and reliable academic, government, media, and professional sources. Using these sources shows readers that you recognize biased material and have excluded it from your paper.

Pathos (Emotional Appeal)

You appeal to your audience’s feelings—such as sympathy, anger, fear, insecurity, guilt, and conscience—to support your position.

For example, to appeal to your audience’s emotions in your paper about the need for more Capitol police, you might do the following:

• Help your readers understand feelings of fear. One way to appeal to this emotion is to quote from interviews with government workers and bystanders who were hiding behind locked doors and had no police protection.
• Use vivid description and concrete language to recreate images that showed lone officers overwhelmed by crowds of people and beaten.
• Use nonaggressive language to address the positions of readers who do not support your stance. For example, some readers may believe that the federal government spends too much money already and should not allocate more. By using language that is not inflammatory, you can show your empathy for others, and this may help you convince them to support your position.

Kairos (Timeliness)

The sense of timing—presenting your position at the right time—is critical in a position argument. For readers to feel a sense of urgency, the issue must be worthy of attention at the time it is presented.

For example, in an argumentative paper about the significance of the  Black Lives Matter  (BLM) movement, you could do the following:

• Point out the history of the BLM movement, which began in 2013 after the acquittal of the man accused of killing Trayvon  Martin  (1995–2012) in 2012.
• Note that today, most of the speeches delivered in BLM rallies held across the country reference the May 2020 murder of George  Floyd  (1973–2020).
• Emphasize that Floyd’s killing remains front and center in the minds of rally participants. In other words, the topic of Floyd’s death is timely, and related circumstances indicate a favorable time for action.
• Allusion :  direct or implied reference to a person, place, work of literature, idea, event, or anything a writer expects readers to know about. Allusion is a frequently used literary device.
• Citation :  reference to the source of information used in a writer’s research.
• Critical thinking : the ability to identify and solve problems by gathering information about a topic and then analyzing and evaluating evidence to form a judgment.
• Counterclaim (dissenting opinion) :  statement of what the other side might say in opposition to the stance the writer takes about an issue.
• Ethos : appeals to readers’ ethical sense, establishing authority and credibility.
• Evidence :  facts and other information that prove or disprove the validity of something written or stated.
• Introduction :  first part of a paper. In position arguments, the writer alerts readers to the issue or problem discussed and often presents the thesis at the end of the introduction.
• Kairos : appeal to the timeliness of the subject matter.
• Logos :  appeal to readers’ sense of logic or reason.
• Pathos : appeals to readers’ emotions.
• Purpose :  author’s reason for writing the paper. In a position argument, the purpose is to persuade readers to agree with the writer’s stance.
• Reasoning :  logical and sensible explanation of a concept.
• Recursive :  movement back and forth from one part of the writing process to another.
• Rhetorical appeals :  methods of persuasion (ethos, logos, pathos, and kairos).
• Rhetorical question :  questions intended to make a point rather than to get an answer. Rhetorical questions, which often have no answers or no obvious answers, appear frequently in argument writing as a way of capturing audience attention.
• Topic : subject of a paper.
• Thesis : a declarative sentence (sometimes two) that states a writer’s position about the paper’s debatable issue or topic.
• Transitional words or phrases : words and phrases that help readers connect ideas from one sentence to another or from one paragraph to another. Transitions establish relationships among ideas.

LICENSE AND ATTRIBUTE

Adapted from Michelle Bachelor Robinson and Maria Jerskey’s “ 10.3 Glance at Genre: Thesis, Reasoning, and Evidence” of Writing Guide with Handbook ,   2021, used according to  CC by 4.0 . Access for free at https://openstax.org/books/writing-guide/pages/10-3-glance-at-genre-thesis-reasoning-and-evidence

UNM Core Writing OER Collection Copyright © 2023 by University of New Mexico is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Write Like a Scientist

A Guide to Scientific Communication

How can I sound professional?

“Microcrystals (average size, 5 × 5 × 2 mm 3 ; fig. S1) of the A2AAR with apocytochrome b562RIL (BRIL) fused into its third intracellular loop (A2AAR-BRIL) (25) in complex with the antagonist ZM241385 were grown (26) and delivered inside LCP using a viscous medium microinjector (7). An x-ray energy of 6 keV (wavelength, 2.07 Å) was used as a compromise between the strength of anomalous scattering from sulfur atoms (K-edge, 2.472 keV), the efficiencies of the Kirkpatrick-Baez mirrors and of the detector, as well as the detector-size and wavelength limits on resolution.” (Adapted from Batyuk et al. 2016 )

If the language in this passage seems daunting at first, don’t worry—you’re not alone! To the unaccustomed eye, professional scientific writing often appears dense and awkward; however, when we parse out the writing techniques from the scientific jargon, it becomes clear that scientific writing is not so different from any other type of academic writing.

Hopefully it sounds familiar when we say that in your writing you should be accurate , provide evidence for your claims, and be specific in its examples. These guidelines are true across disciplines, genres, audiences and purposes. Mostly, it’s only the technical content of scientific writing that makes it look so different.

a. The IPCC projected in its 2001 report that sea level will rise anywhere between 4 and 35 inches (10 and 89 centimeters) by the end of the century. The high end of that projection—nearly three feet (a meter)—would be “an unmitigated disaster,” according to Douglas.  (Adapted from a National Geographic article )

b. Over the last 50 years a total area of 28,000 km 2 of ice shelf has been lost, in connection to an increase of about 2.5 °C of the mean annual temperature (Cook and Vaughan 2010).  (Adapted from  Frezzotti and Orombelli 2013 )

Notice that in both of the above examples, the authors cite evidence (the IPCC report; a paper by Cook and Vaughan) and are specific in their examples, despite the fact that the National Geographic article is intended for a general audience while the Frezzotti and Orombelli article is intended for a scientific audience.

So—what can you do to sound more professional?

Conciseness

Conciseness—the ability to say a lot in as few words as possible—is one of the most important parts of writing publishable-quality papers and is covered in detail on this page .

Effectiveness of visuals

Because of the complexity of constructing visuals such as figures and tables, we cover them in detail on this page .

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Clarity and specificity

When the content of your paper is technically complex, it can be very challenging to get your ideas across clearly. In this section we will cover how to convey this type of information in a straightforward, thorough, and effective way.

Using quantitative terms

In science, the numbers are often what matter most. For example, by knowing not only that “the yield of product A was higher than that of product B” but also that it was “23% higher,” we can quantitatively compare a reaction resulting in A and B to similar reactions to help determine which might be most useful for future experiments.

You should report a quantitative result over a qualitative description of the result whenever it is appropriate . An example of when it might be inappropriate is if a quantity has no scientific significance, such as:

“The value was 3.4% below the limit of detection (LOD).”

If a value is below a limit of detection or quantification, it cannot be quantified and should therefore be reported as:

“The value was below LOD.”

When you can report exact values, only do so to the correct level of confidence . This means that you need to know how to correctly calculate significant figures , the number of digits in a number that carry meaning. Reporting a datum to the correct number of significant figures is important because it conveys the amount of precision of that value and is the only accurate way to report the value. Here we provide a cursory review of significant figures; for a more detailed resource, try this guide from Rice University.

It is also important that you are able to communicate statistical significance appropriately. You should become familiar with many of the statistical tests you can perform on data and how to calculate them (which won’t be covered in this writing guide). Once you have conducted a statistical analysis of your data, you also must be able effectively translate it into your report. Usually, statistics are reported both in a figure or table as well as in the body of your Results section text.

Unless your paper is focused on mathematical or statistical operations and manipulations of data, you should keep discussion of statistics to a minimum . Statistical values are useful because they convey the amount of confidence you can have in your data often in a single number. In general, standard statistical analyses do not require explanation of how you performed them or what they mean. Here we provide examples of how statistics are discussed in the context of a results section.

Click to see examples

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Using verb tenses appropriately

You might be thinking that it seems mundane to be thinking about the difference between verb tenses, but in science, it can be a little tricky. For example, which of the following two statements do you think would be appropriate to use in your discussion section?

a. Changing connectivity between active and isolated components of the subglacial drainage system does not drive seasonal trends in ice velocity on alpine glaciers owing to the dominant control of subglacial channels.  (Adapted from Andrews et al. 2014 )

b. Changing connectivity between active and isoalted components of the subglacial drainage system did not drive seasonal trends in ice velocity on alpine glaciers owing to the dominant control of subglacial channels.

Actually, the tense you should use depends on the context. If the assertion is something that is widely accepted by scientists in the field of alpine glaciers, then sentence (a) would appropriately use the present tense. However, sentence (b) would be more appropriate this assertion had been shown, only once  or so, by a particular published work. In the latter case, past tense communicates that the phenomenon did happen in a study but not necessarily that it is true .

Hopefully, you can begin to see how your choice of tense can greatly impact the meaning of your sentence. Is your statement true for all time, or just in the context of your paper? In this sense, your verb tense can also help convey how much confidence you have in a statement. Compare:

a. Dogs have tails.

b. Dogs were reported to have tails.

c. Dogs have been reported to have tails.

These statements seem to have very different connotations. (a) shows complete confidence in the assertion–present tense shows that something is true. In (b), the past tense used shows that dogs did have tails in one case but that this might no longer hold true. This is the case in (c), as well, but the statement is less definitive and therefore even seems to suggests that the author might doubt the idea that dogs have tails. Clearly, it is important to choose your verb tense carefully!

As you can see from the table above, the future tense is rarely used in journal articles, which should make sense since journals are used to report  what has happened whereas research proposals are for proposing a future endeavor.

In sum, it is best to use the present tense for facts and interpretations; use the past tense for results.

Being unambiguous

It is easy to accidentally introduce ambiguity into your writing by using words like this , that , or it without enough context to make it clear what these pronouns refer to. For example, try to distinguish what “it” refers to in the following sentence:

A large channel feature (channel1; Figs. 8b and 9b) was identified immediately north of the dam. It measures approximately 100 m wide on either side of the river with 2–3 m relief. (Adapted from Steelman, Kennedy, and Parker 2015 ).

What measures approximately 100 m: the dam or the channel feature? In order to make the meaning of the second sentence clear, specificity is imperative:

A large channel feature (channel1; Figs. 8b and 9b) was identified immediately north of the dam. This suspected feature measures approximately 100 m wide on either side of the river with 2–3 m relief.

We also could have written, “The channel feature measures….” in the second sentence, but that sounds a little more redundant. While specificity is important, try to be somewhat creative to avoid being repetitive.

Double check your usage of these types of pronouns in your own writing to ensure that they are completely unambiguous.

Objectivity

When you conduct scientific research, it is critical to make as unbiased choices, observations, and interpretations as possible, which would otherwise affect the accuracy and meaningfulness of your conclusions. Likewise, even if you’ve managed to stay objective during the research phase, subjectivity in your written document will make your work seem nonscientific and untrustworthy. It is therefore crucial to know how to make your writing sound objective, which we will guide you through in the sections below.

Using personal pronouns sparingly

When you think about the purpose of your paper or poster, is it usually to talk about you (doing the science) or about the science (that you did)? In most cases once you get to the undergraduate level and beyond, the science is the most important part of the project. For that reason, scientific writing should usually focus on what was done rather than who did it .

Furthermore, some things happened during your project (such as getting results) while other things are true about your project (such as a comparison of your results to someone else’s). This section will guide you through how to best convey actions so that who did it , what happened , and whether or not it is enduring is accurate and clear.

Using personal pronouns puts us, the scientists, into the project. This might be helpful for a reader to understand why you undertook a project, but is it critical for them to know who was involved in mixing two reagents together? Or to know that you did the data analysis? Not so much. In general, it is best to avoid using personal pronouns whenever possible in scientific writing.

This applies to words like “we,” “they,” and “I,” as well as to the names of other researchers when you cite them. Take, for example, the following statements:

• We measured the height of the cliff using a laser rangefinder.
• In their paper, Truan & Canto (2003) 2 showed that the two substances are immiscible at 20 K.
• After addition of ammonium sulfate, I heated the solution to 80 ˚C.

Are any of the people necessary in these statements? What if we said, instead:

• The height of the cliff was measured using a laser rangefinder.
• The two substances are immiscible at 20 K. 2
• After addition of ammonium sulfate, the solution was heated to 80 ˚C.

All of the same information is given, but it sounds more formal and objective. As a bonus, in the second case, the version without “Truan & Canto” is more concise !

If there are no people to have opinions about or introduce human error into an experiment, then these things theoretically can’t affect an experiment. Of course, we know that scientists are involved, but their opinions and errors are assumed to be (hopefully minor) factors in all science; they shouldn’t be especially significant in your particular project.

“We” is appropriate in some instances, but not in others. Taking the scientists out of the science helps a statement become more objective, but taking them out of a personal insight or decision can be downright confusing. For example, saying, “It is expected that this method will become routine” isn’t any more objective than saying “We believe that this method will become routine,” but the latter statement is less awkward and more straightforward. Below are some examples of some appropriate and inappropriate times to use the word “we.”

Notice that “we” is used most frequently in the discussion section . This should make sense, considering that the discussion section is about interpretation , which unavoidably involves scientists and their personal influence on the project. However, you should use “we” minimally in the other sections, especially the Methods and Results, in which objectivity is most important.

In addition, it is sometimes appropriate to refer to other authors by their names . This is usually the case when referencing someone else’s methodology, such as:

“Proteins were extracted acording to the protocol of Raymond et al, 13 “

if it is important to draw attention to that work itself. Other times, a finding or insight that is widely attributed to a specific paper may warrant an explicit reference to the authors in order for your reader to better recognize the finding/insight/idea you are referring to.

Using appropriate voice

When you successfully avoid using personal pronouns, do you notice how your sentence structure changes? For example:

a. We analyzed the data.

b. The data were analyzed.

The sentence changed from active to passive voice . You may have learned in other, non-science classes that the passive voice is weak and should be avoided at all costs. In science, it is perfectly OK! The meaning of this sentence wasn’t changed at all, but the scientists, who weren’t contributing much valuable information to this statement, were removed. In fact, passive voice is used commonly in scientific writing to enhance objectivity and aid conciseness.

Alternatively, you may have learned that you should always use the passive voice in science. This isn’t necessarily true, either. It is perfectly valid to say something like, “ascorbic acid reduces the complex.” Chemicals, enzymes, bacteria, robots…. lots of scientific things do things, and there is no reason to pretend that they don’t by trying to stick strictly to passive voice. The key is to use it when it is preferable to the active voice to aid objectivity and conciseness, which happens to be quite frequently.

Passive voice is often tied with use of the past tense, especially in the Methods section of a journal article or poster. This is because it is most important to maintain objectivity about something that happened (even though you did it) in this section. (You can read more about using the past tense under “Clarity and specificity,” above.) Some common passive-voice–past-tense combinations used in published journal article Methods sections as listed in the table below, which is adapted from Robinson et al. (2008) .

Using phrasing to help tell a story

You can maintain formal objectivity while still priming your reader for the conclusions you ultimately intend to draw. For example, compare the following results reportings:

a. Later sowing altered rutin content in herb by 0.001% on average.

b.  Later sowing had essentially no impact on rutin content in herb.

c. Later sowing altered rutin content by no more than 0.0014%.

Each version communicates information about the same set of results, yet they convey different meanings. In (a), the reader is told that an average value of rutin content is of note–in other words, that the presence of rutin is important. The phrasing in (b), on the other hand, communicates that this average value, though still existent, is un important and that later sowing is probably similar to whatever the other condition in the experiment was (e.g. earlier sowing). Finally, in (c), the phrasing tells us that although there was rutin content, we don’t find this amount to be very large.

As you write, pay attention to the meaning of the information you write about and how it relates to the goals of your project. Try to construct sentences in a way that are consistent with the story you are telling.

There is more to reporting information accurately than not presenting false data (although that, of course, is extremely important, too!). Your language is a key factor in avoiding unintentionally faulty or unreliable messages. Novice writers tend to overstate the meaning of their results, which we will help you learn to avoid in these next two sections.

Avoiding “hand-waving” arguments

When you interpret your data in a way that is not supported by evidence, scientists say that you are making a “hand-waving” argument. You can imagine the origin of this term being someone gesturing wildly with their hands while they make a point in order to make it seem more convincing, even though they aren’t backing their argument up with sufficient details. Below is an example of a result followed by a hand-waving interpretation:

Result: Neither strain grew by utilizing organic substrates in the absence of iron, and their growth on iron was not stimulated by the presence of acetate.  (Adapted from Emerson and Moyer 1997 )

Discussion: This result suggests that organic substrates are complexed with high concentrations of iron in all life forms.

 As we know, a result from two bacterial strains does not suggest a conclusion about “all life forms,” nor does how an absence of iron impacts bacterial growth indicate anything about how organic substrates interact with iron. This discussion point is an extreme example of a hand-waving argument because it draws large, far-reaching, and irrelevant conclusions from a single result.

Although you are unlikely to hand-wave in your papers to the same extent as in the example above, it can be very tempting to stretch the meaning of your data at least a little. After all, the results of the experiments you do in class are usually not incredibly exciting, and it can be nice to imagine that they might mean something significant. But be careful! If you make an assertion that reaches beyond the scope of your data, you will lessen your credibility as a scientist and an author. It is always better to exercise restraint  when discussing your data so that the conclusions you do draw are more trustworthy and powerful.

Using hedging language

Hedging is the use of qualifiers to acknowledge that a statement is not absolute fact. The results you obtain in an experiment may suggest a certain conclusion, but they are not absolute truths. It may seem, at first, like hedging makes your argument sound weaker, but it actually makes you more trustworthy.  Take, for example, the following weather prediction:

“Temperatures this summer will be 3 ˚F higher than average. Rainfall will be 1 inch.”

How likely does it seem that this will be true? If the forecaster is wrong, how would that affect how much you trust him? To avoid being wrong repeatedly, forecasters often show more caution by saying things more like,

“Temperatures this summer are likely to be 2-4 ˚F higher than average. Rainfall may reach up to 1 inch.”

By using the words “likely,” “may,” and “up to,” the weather forecaster is showing restraint and, by doing so, sounds more credible. The same is true in scientific writing.

“ Thus , it remains possible that particle size may be one of the largest contributing factors to the decrease in absorption observed.”

The words “possible” and “may be” are used intentionally to show that we cannot prove that particle size is one of the largest contributing factors, but that it is what our current scientific knowledge has led us to believe. Alternatively, trying to convince your audience of an idea makes you appear biased and therefore not an objective scientist. (Read more about objectivity here .)

In scientific writing, hedging is a critical tool to ensure that you don’t overstate your knowledge and to what extent it applies.

This is list is not exhaustive but it should help you identify and construct statements that don’t inaccurately overstate what science can tell us. Never use the word “prove” in scientific writing–experiments can “demonstrate” or “suggest” an explanation, but they can never  prove that something is true.

Below we provide examples of hedging from published articles. Note which words they use to hedge their arguments and how frequently they are used.

You should be sure to hedge your statements whenever your point is not an absolute fact. Hedging is used most often in the discussion section of a paper or poster because the authors are speculating about, but cannot be certain of, the meaning of their results. Hedging is also commonly used in introductions (to indicate the uncertainty associated with talking about others’ results) and in results sections (to describe findings without making them sound like universal truths).

Distinguishing between animate and inanimate capabilities

It is very common for students to refer to instruments or other inanimate objects as having the ability to perform the functions of a scientist—that is, to analyze data. But in reality, the most they can do is collect data. This is a very important distinction! Do not attribute limitations, capabilities, or errors to inanimate objects. A limitation might be a quality of an object, but that doesn’t mean that the object actively limits the experiment. For example, compare the following two statements (adapted from an example in Write like a Chemist ):

a. The GC/MS was unable to detect estrogen in the stream water.

b. The estrogen in stream water was below detection limits.

In statement A, the GC/MS is given the ability (or inability) to detect something. GC/MS is  used to detect substances, but it doesn’t have the willpower to do it on its own. As another example:

a. The oscilloscope determined the frequency to be 12 Hz.

b. Using an oscilloscope, the frequency was determined to be 12 Hz.

The oscilloscope provides a measurement of frequency, but only you can determine which value to accept.

This may seem like a nit-picky distinction, but to personify an instrument is simply inaccurate, thus detracting from the scientific authenticity and professionalism of your writing. When in doubt, ask yourself: “Is a human using this object to do something?” If so, make sure that the object isn’t ascribed an action verb.

You want your thoughts and ideas to flow smoothly so that someone doesn’t have to re-read each of your sentences multiple times to understand what you’re saying. But sometimes it can be hard to figure out why something you’ve written sounds awkward, so you don’t know what to do to fix it. This section outlines a couple of techniques you can use to try to make your writing more fluid.

Sentence structure can be a particularly important thing to think about in professional writing. First, know that a sentence is often easier to understand if the part of the sentence before the verb is shorter than the part after the verb. For example, compare the following 2 sentences:

a. Radiative transfer modeling, with kinematic data from millimeter interferometers, provides a more correct treatment. (Adapted from Downes and Soloman 1998 )

b. A more correct treatment requires radiative transfer modeling, with kinematic data from millimeter interferometers.

Because (a) leaves the verb off until near the end of the sentence, it sounds more awkward than (b).

A second good rule of thumb is to provide given information before new information in a sentence that includes both new information and something that has already been mentioned. This concept is illustrated in the following 2 examples:

a. The highest PM concentrations of all hopanes and steranes were measured in Sacramento during the evening hours. Measured traffic markers are dominated by the urban background traffic signal since samples were not collected adjacent to roadways, which is is reflected by this trend . (Adapted from Kleeman, Riddle, and Jakober 2008 )

b. The highest PM concentrations of all hopanes and steranes were measured in Sacramento during the evening hours. This trend reflects the fact that samples were not collected adjacent to roadways, and so the measured traffic markers are dominated by the urban background traffic signal.

Example (b) is easier to understand since we encounter more familiar information (i.e. the “trend”) first.

Using formal vocabulary

Be sure to always use scientific words and phrases in place of colloquial ones. For example, instead of saying, “we did a graph,” it is better to say that “a graph was constructed.” This might seem obvious in some contexts, but certain words that we’re highly accustomed to can be hard to notice. For instance, the word “experiment” should be avoided in most cases because it suggests a very short-term, single-outcome procedure; instead, it is more formal to refer to your “work” or “project.”

Look out for these types of informalities in your writing and try to replace them using more formal language. This will also help maintain an air of objectivity (see above) by removing your personal voice from the science.

Using parallelism

Under dry conditions the principal controls on evapotranspiration are plant-available water and canopy resistance. Under wet conditions the dominant controls are advection, net radiation, and turbulent transport. Under intermediate conditions the relative importance of these factors varies depending on climate, soil, and vegetation. (Adapted from Zhang, Dawes, and Walker 2001 )

The statement above is easy to read and flows nicely because it was constructed using parallel structure –the repetition of a chosen grammatical form among phrases, sentences, or even paragraphs. In this example, the three sentences were constructed in parallel. You might be able to see this more easily if we line up the corresponding parts of each sentence:

The sentence is constructed in such a way that the same parts of speech (or sometimes the same words!) are strung together in almost exactly the same order. By doing so, the authors made the distinctions between each of 3 conditions in one study very easy to compare.

You can avoid redundancy and make sets of information flow more smoothly by using parallel structure and the word “ respectively ” to connect different pieces. “Respectively” indicates that listed items connect in the same order to nearby listed attributes of the items. Let’s apply this concept to the following paragraph:

a. The FcH + /FcH oxidation potential was negatively shifted by 110 mV upon addition of an excess of pyridine, moved in the negative direction by 140 mV with excess imidazole addition, or, with the addition of excess 2-methylimidazole, shifted negatively by 150 mV. (Adapted from Vecchi et al. 2015 )

This statement can be made much more clear if we first rearrange the ideas into parallel form, placing all the parts of speech in the same part of each section of the sentence.

b. The FcH + /FcH oxidation potential was negatively shifted by 110 mV upon addition of an excess of pyridine, negatively moved by 140 mV with addition of excess imidazole, or shifted negatively by 150 mV with the addition of excess 2-methylimidazole.

Now we can see that a lot of this sentence just repeats some minor variation of the phrase “shifted X mV upon addition of an excess of Y.” So, using the word “respectively,” we can condense this into one single phrase:

c. The FcH + /FcH oxidation potential was negatively shifted by 110, 140, or 150 mV upon addition of an excess of pyridine, imidazole or 2-methylimidazole, respective ly.

This version is not only the most fluid but also the most concise . However, note that it is also cumbersome to overuse “respectively.” This word is not necessary if the associations among parts of the sentence are obvious without it . Using it superfluously ultimately detracts from conciseness.

Information should also be organized so that it has conceptual parallelism , in which ideas on either side of connecting words like and or or have the same level of importance.

a. Peracetic acid (PAA; CH 3 CO 3 H) is an antimicrobial disinfectant registered by the US Environmental Protection Agency for use in agriculture, cooling towers, and medicine. (Adapted from Straus et al. 2012 )

b. Peracetic acid (PAA; CH 3 CO 3 H) is an antimicrobial disinfectant registered by the US Environmental Protection Agency for use in agriculture and medicine, though it is also commonly used to prevent bio film formation in cooling towers.

In (a), “agriculture” and “medicine” are both broad concepts, whereas “cooling towers” are a very specific area of use. To make the sentence conceptually parallel, we grouped the broader terms together in (b) and separated the specific idea.

Sometimes, in posters or research proposals, lists are a useful way to organize information. It is important that you maintain both structural and conceptual parallelism in addition to formatting parallelism , in which heading identifiers have the same capitalization and punctuation. Compare the following two sets of lists:

Rock core analysis:

1. Sample locations

2. Classifications

acquiring the GPS data.

Signal Processing

In the above example, the numbering scheme, uses of capitalization and punctuation, and grammatical structure are inconsistent. Instead, we should construct it more like the following:

1. Rock core analysis

1.1. Sample locations

1.2 Classifications

2. GPS data acquisition

3. Signal processing

Transforming parts of speech

A nominalization is a noun formed from a verb or an adjective—for example, the noun “distillation” is a nominalization of the verb “distill.” Using nominalizations can help relieve awkwardness in some sentences and improve the clarity of your writing. Compare the following 2 sentences:

a. The ability of the metals to bond to one another is critical for the substances to completely react.

b. Metal-to-metal bonding is critical for reaction completion.

Not only is (b) more straightforward and clear, it is also more concise ! We made it this way by forming the nominalizations “bonding” from “to bond,” “reaction” from “react,” and “completion” from “completely.” In addition, we also made an adjective out of “metals… to one another”: “metal-to-metal.” If you find that a section of your writing is very wordy and jumbled, try rearranging some of your ideas using nominalizations of some of your adjectives, adverbs, and verbs to make it more fluid. Nominalizations can also work in reverse, such as in the following sentences:

a. It is always important to do a preliminary mass measurement of a product before doing an analysis of it.

b. It is always important to preliminarily measure the mass a product before analyzing it.

The take-away is that changing the structure of your sentences by playing with parts of speech can aid their clarity and fluidity.

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How to — Literally — Sound More Confident and Persuasive

Speak up, it’ll help.

By Tim Herrera

Welcome to the Smarter Living newsletter! Every Monday, S.L. editor Tim Herrera emails readers with tips and advice for living a better, more fulfilling life. Sign up here to get it in your inbox.

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT’S HOW YOU SAY IT.

Believe me?

O.K., I’m sorry, that was a cheap trick. But new research suggests that when we’re trying to seem persuasive, the volume of our words — when vocalized, of course — can have an outsize impact.

Does that mean you should shout when you’re trying to seem more persuasive? No, of course not. But according to a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , you can come off as more persuasive by speaking slightly louder than you normally do, and by varying the overall volume of your voice (i.e., speaking both more loudly and softly).

The effect isn’t quite as dramatic as giving you unholy levels of persuasive power . But it will make you appear more confident when you speak, which has a positive impact on your overall persuasiveness , according to the study.

“Every time we interact with someone, we’re trying to figure out how much they know about what they’re saying, how knowledgeable they are, how confident they seem,” said Jonah Berger, an associate professor of marketing at Wharton and a co-author of the study . “We found that these cues in particular” — the ones related to speaking volume — “made speakers seem more confident, which made them more persuasive overall.”

Humans have something of a built-in anti-persuasion radar, what psychologists call reactance , Mr. Berger said. When someone tries to persuade us, we sometimes push back because we don’t want to be persuaded. We can tell from the words being used, the context and other cues that someone is trying to influence us. “An incoming appeal comes in, someone tries to persuade us, we put up our radar to knock down the projectile,” Mr. Berger said. “We turn off the ad, we hang up on the salesperson, we counterargue against what someone is saying.”

However, we tend to look at speakers who vary their volume as more confident, which translates into an increase in their persuasive ness, according to the study.

In other words: If you’re trying to persuade your roommate to do the dishes, try speaking up a bit.

[Like what you’re reading? Sign up here for the Smarter Living newsletter to get stories like this (and much more!) delivered straight to your inbox every Monday morning.]

The core issue here is the influence — both conscious and nonconscious — that paralanguage, or how we say things, has on our perception of others. It’s “not something most people are aware of,” Mr. Berger said.

In conversations, “we spend a lot of time thinking about what we’re going to say, and we spend some time thinking about what our partner is saying,” Mr. Berger said. “We allocate a lot less attention to how we’re saying what we’re saying.” But how we say things can be significant: Whether the listener recognizes changes in paralanguage, and whether the speaker intentionally changes his or her voice, the effect paralanguage has on the listener can happen regardless.

Mr. Berger also said it’s not just those voice inflections that matter in persuasion; being physically present — as opposed to, say, writing a text or sending an email — can also have an enormous impact.

“There’s work that show s people seem more human when we hear their voice,” Mr. Berger said. “We give them more sense of mind, we think of them more as real people when they use their voice. Our research also suggests it can make people more persuasive.”

That’s good news for anyone who has ever spent hours agonizing over the wording of an email to get it just right , particularly when something significant hangs in the balance. Indeed, all that time spent agonizing might in fact be making things worse.

“At some point, we must remind ourselves, any changes we make to a creation no longer make it better but just different (and sometimes worse),” Dr. Alex Lickerman wrote in Psychology Today on the topic of getting things done . “Recognizing that inflection point — the point at which our continuing to rework our work reaches a law of diminishing returns — is one of the hardest skills to learn, but also one of the most necessary.”

Just ask Mr. Berger.

“Sometimes we think crafting the perfect email will be the best way to persuade people,” he said. “But what we find in our work is the voice can be quite impactful.”

Got any persuasion tips? Tell me on Twitter at @timherrera .

Have a great week!

Tip of the Week

This week I’ve invited the writer Lindsay Mannering to teach us her wonderfully simple Hot Arugula Hack to get in our leafy greens.

There are all sorts of ways to live a supposedly longer and happier life — use CBD , meditate, milk your own oats — but if you believe deep down that eating more vegetables is the key to a healthier lifestyle, this Hot Arugula Hack is for you.

In about two minutes you can prepare, cook and eat a day’s worth of leafy greens. Use spinach if you don’t mind its fuzzy texture (yuck), or baby arugula, which I find far less offensive.

So! You’ve seen the memes , now here’s my bare-bones, let’s-just-eat-these-greens-and-move-on-with-our-day recipe:

Add about a quarter cup of water to any pot or pan. All that matters is that your pot or pan has a lid.

Grab a giant , heaping handful of baby arugula (or spinach) and throw it in the pan. Casually sprinkle some water on top of it.

Turn the burner on high and cover the greens.

Uncover it about a minute later and see how it’s doing. It should be shrinking into a dense, nutritious mass of dark green. If it’s not, cover it a little longer.

After about 90 seconds it’s definitely a wilted pile.

Sprinkle some salt or hot sauce on top and eat it right out of the pan.

Hot arugula is best eaten first thing in the morning when you’re not that hungry and when a somewhat cheerless ( but super good for you ) snack is palatable. Bonus points if you’re able to meditate while flash-steaming your greens. Double bonus points if your photo of it goes viral.

An earlier version of this article incorrectly referred to the — metaphorical — built-in anti-persuasion radar humans possess. It is called reactance, not reactants.

How we handle corrections

Tim Herrera edits and writes for Smarter Living, and is a co-editor of the Smarter Living book. Before coming to The Times, he wrote about digital culture for The Washington Post. More about Tim Herrera

Introduction to College Writing

Simple vs. sophisticated writing.

Simple and sophisticated writing differ in these aspects:

• depth of thought and insight into the issue – Sophisticated writing deals with complicated issues, may offer a variety of insights or viewpoints, and analyzes and evaluates those viewpoints. On the other hand, simple writing deals with less complex/more obvious issues, offers mainly one viewpoint into the issue, and offers more information than analysis.
• idea development in the support – Sophisticated writing develops ideas with fuller details and specifics than simple writing.
• type of source used in the support – Sophisticated writing mainly uses sources written for professionals in the field of inquiry (e.g., an engineering journal), while simple writing mainly uses sources written for the general public (e.g., Popular Mechanics).
• integration of source information – Sophisticated writers summarize and paraphrase source information in research essays, and try to “fit” all information together seamlessly, no matter what the source. Sophisticated writers weave source information with their own insights (while carefully citing source information). Writers on a simpler level tend to use large amounts of direct quotation with less personal insight and commentary.

Realize, though, that the distinction is not quite as simple as described above. A writer may create a sophisticated piece of writing about a seemingly simple, obvious topic. Sophistication comes in the way the writer thinks about and treats the topic. Despite what many people think, language use—flowery, complicated language—is not the primary way to distinguish simple from sophisticated writing. All writing, simple and sophisticated alike, should aim for clear, direct language. The sophisticated writer simply uses that clear language in a more creative or unique way.

Think of simple vs. sophisticated writing by using a food/cooking analogy.

Both types of writing start with the same few ingredients (main idea, supporting ideas, language).

Simple writing tends to use these ingredients in a traditional way, over and over again. And this is fine, as long as the combination results in a clear, direct product, such as a simple meal .

Sophisticated writing , on the other hand, tends to add more ingredients and/or use ingredients in unusual ways, creating a fuller variety of taste, such as in a complex recipe or a large meal with many choices.

Most writers start out on a relatively simple level and progress—so realize that the distinction between simple and sophisticated writing is not intended to scare you! It’s simply intended to help you become more aware of the goal to work toward. Greater sophistication, in writing as well as cooking, comes with practice, practice, practice.

• Simple vs. Sophisticated Writing. Authored by : Susan Oaks. Provided by : Empire State College, SUNY OER Services. Project : College Writing. License : CC BY-NC: Attribution-NonCommercial
• image of tomatoes in bowl. Provided by : Pixabay. Located at : https://pixabay.com/en/tomatoes-vegetables-food-frisch-320860/ . License : CC0: No Rights Reserved
• image of tomatoes, cheese, basil simple meal. Provided by : Pixabay. Located at : https://pixabay.com/en/tomatoes-tomato-mozzarella-basil-1580273/ . License : CC0: No Rights Reserved
• image of tomatoes and multiple ingredients in casserole sophisticated meal. Provided by : Pixabay. Located at : https://pixabay.com/en/eat-bless-you-casserole-vegetables-3387564/ . License : CC0: No Rights Reserved
• image of man writing with laptop. Provided by : Pixabay. Located at : https://pixabay.com/en/business-man-laptop-work-outdoor-2452808/ . License : CC0: No Rights Reserved

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How to Make Your Writing Sound More Professional and Sophisticated

As a writer, your job is to communicate clearly and effectively with your audience. But as a writer, you also want to be seen as an authority figure and someone that your readers can trust to lead them through the topic of the piece you are writing. 

To gain that sense of authority, many writers want to sound more professional and sophisticated. There is a right way and a wrong way to try to sound more professional and sophisticated, and in this article, we’ll take a look at some of the strategies that work and those that don’t so you can sound as smart as you know you are.

So, let’s look at some strategies you can employ to sound more professional and sophisticated. These expert tips and guidelines can be easily used by most of California students who need help writing papers and essays in colleges and universities.

Improve Your Vocabulary in Writing

The first and best way to make your writing sound more sophisticated and professional is to improve your vocabulary. Learning new words will help you to develop stronger writing by giving you a broader range of options to express your exact meaning in any given situation. For example, “verdant” carries a slightly different meaning than “green,” and being able to deploy the right color word to express what the reader should feel at any given moment can make your writing richer and more involving. English has one of the most expansive vocabularies in the world, and that gives you more opportunity to find the right word for any situation.

However, there are some dangers to building your vocabulary that a great writer needs to watch out for.

Don’t Use Highfalutin Language in Writing

One major problem that a writer will face is the temptation to use elevated language in order to sound smart. However, using too many big words is just as bad—indeed, worse—than using simplistic language. Paradoxically, sounding professional and sophisticated often comes from using simple, natural language. For example, the Associated Press sets the standards for how journalists write. Journalism sounds professional and sophisticated, but it is written at an eighth grade reading level. 

Using language that your readers will understand is essential for developing a relationship of trust with your readers. If you use words that they don’t understand, they might think you are trying to talk over them and reject your message. Worse, utilizing excessive verbiage of incontrovertible complexity manifests the kind of reader fatigue you probably felt reading the first half of this sentence. It’s hard to read long strings of big words, and that makes you sound not sophisticated but pompous. A great writer knows how to use the smallest word that conveys the full meaning. That doesn’t mean you never use big words, only that you use them when it is essential for meaning.

Mark Twain once commented, “Don’t use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.” He was trying to say the same thing—avoid big words just for the sake of using them. Natural language sounds best and actually sounds more sophisticated than elevated language.

This is one of the big problems that academic writers face. Academic writing is notorious for being difficult to read in the name of sophistication. Indeed, professors often joke that they know an academic article must be good because they don’t understand it. Professors can see their reputations sink if they write papers that are too easy to read. This creates a perverse incentive to write in a way that only those who are in the exact same field can understand, creating knowledge silos that prevent interdisciplinary knowledge transfer and hoarding knowledge among a few experts in any given subject.

Effective Ways of Better Academic Writing

The unique challenges of creating effective academic writing are often a problem for students who are just learning the art of academic writing. Many students have difficulty transitioning to the academic style of writing. Because of this, it can often be beneficial for students to see how a professional writer would approach their essay topic. When students make use of pro essay writing services like SmartWritingService.com , they can get help to develop their academic writing skills. Custom academic papers will help students to see how to write about a topic in a sophisticated and professional way without crossing over into elevated language that can damage the quality of a paper.

Use the Active Voice in Writing

Another tip for sounding more professional and sophisticated is to use the active voice in your essay writing. The active voice makes the action sound more direct and keeps your writing engaging. In academic writing, there is a tendency to use the passive voice in order to try to sound objective and avoid referring to oneself. However, the passive voice is tiring for readers because it hides the action of the sentence and saps the sentence of its agency and its energy. Therefore, using the active voice is the better choice—and as a bonus, it also sounds better and more professional. Compare, for example, the difference between “The ball was hit by the boy” to “The boy hit the ball,” and you can see the difference.

Eliminate Unnecessary Words in Your Papers

More words don’t make for better sentences. To sound more sophisticated, say more with fewer words. Cut out unnecessary adverbs and adjectives. If your sentence’s meaning doesn’t change when you remove a word, then the word wasn’t necessary to begin with. Simple, direct sentences are more powerful and convey your meaning more forcefully. 

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Complex Sentence Generator is a free content rewriter that can potentially rephrase, reword, paraphrase and/or rewrite sentences, paragraphs, articles, content, words and/or phrases into a more complex, unorthodox or convoluted alternative while delivering the same meaning. The vocabulary of this sentence paraphraser contains an abundance of rarely used words/phrases and can paraphrase sentences in a variety of ways that are chosen randomly. Aside from this web based software being used as a paraphrasing tool or a text spinner, it can also be used as a vocabulary improvement tool. The artificial intelligence of this paraphrase generator is so sophisticated that it is capable of understanding context. Use the dictionary or thesaurus to learn definitions for words or discover more synonyms.

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