help others without expecting anything in return essay

• Relationships

Selfless Service, Part I: Is Selfless Service Possible?

When we help others without thought of personal gain we can actually gain a lot..

Posted May 8, 2013

"It is more blessed to give than to receive." – Acts 20:35

"Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country." – John F. Kennedy

One of the most extolled virtues of all time is selfless service to others. The blessedness of giving rather than receiving is one of the most popular and most quoted verses in the Bible , and John F. Kennedy's call for service is one of the most recognized lines from any presidential inaugural address . The value of selfless service is found in many religions and spiritual traditions around the world. Indian religions refer to selfless service with the Sanskrit word seva , which means helping others in need without the thought of receiving any reward or repayment in return. Seva is thought to advance a person's spiritual growth or development.

I have been wanting to blog about selfless service for some time now, and I found that as I collected my thoughts on this subject, I had so much to say that I decided to write about service in two installments. In this first post on selfless service, I examine whether or not such a thing exists. Is it really possible to give to others without expecting anything in return? In the next installment I will write about kinds of selfless service beyond the obvious forms such as feeding the hungry and tending to the sick.

So, is it really possible for an ordinary person to serve others without expecting reward or recognition, or does one have to be a saint to engage in such service? According to wellness expert Daniel Scott , the answer is that we all have the capacity for selfless service. He writes: "[former psychology professor-turned-spiritual teacher, and a founder of the Seva Foundation ] Ram Dass explains this beautifully: 'Helping out is not some special skill. It is not the domain of rare individuals. It is not confined to a single part of our lives. We simply heed the call of that natural impulse within and follow it where it leads us.'"

I agree that nearly every person has a natural impulse to help another human being who is in need. Yet I also believe that there are substantial individual differences in the strength of this impulse to help others and the likelihood of acting on this impulse consistently. It is one thing to drop a dollar into the hat of a homeless person I happen upon; it is quite another to devote my entire life to assisting the homeless or volunteering for similar selfless service.

I am skeptical about whether most of us can help others consistently without expecting some kind of reward. I'm not saying that we necessarily need a return favor from the person we help or recognition from society. All I am saying is that, at the very least, we expect to feel good about ourselves after helping someone. I think that expecting to feel good (or to avoid feeling bad) is the anticipated reward that that motivates most charitable acts. Consider the following example.

You are walking down the street and notice that a stranger’s parking meter has expired. You decide to put some change in the meter so the person doesn’t get a parking fine, and then you walk away. Because the owner of the car does not know you, he or she will not be able to thank you or return the favor in any way. But, did you really receive no reward for your random act of kindness? Didn’t you feel good about yourself for helping the stranger? Wasn't feeling good a rewarding experience? Let me put it another way. If you did not expect to feel good after putting the change in the meter, would you have helped the stranger to avoid the parking fine?

I question the notion of pure altruism —of doing something to benefit another person without expecting anything in return. As I said, at the very least, when we do good deeds we expect to feel good about ourselves, or to avoid negative feelings like guilt or shame . Often, we actually expect more. We usually expect in return at least a smile, a “thank you,” or other token of appreciation. Think about it: How long would you keep giving to a friend if he or she never showed appreciation? How long would that friendship last?

On the other hand, it is also a fact that people sometimes to extend themselves in extraordinary ways, making enormous sacrifices of time, energy, and resources to assist others, way beyond what they might receive in return. In the most dramatic cases, people sometimes even give their lives to help other people. "Selfless service" is one of the seven core values of the U.S. Army. A soldier who dies to protect others is not going to hear a thank-you in return for the ultimate sacrifice.

Evolutionary psychologists have long puzzled over how to explain altruism because it is not obvious why a set of genes could encourage self-sacrificial behavior without going extinct. The only way in which it is mathematically possible for any kind of selflessness to evolve is for selfless individuals to associate more frequently with other selfless individuals than with non-selfless individuals. A group of selfless individuals who interact primarily with each other will receive, on average , enough benefits from each other to facilitate the survival of selfless tendencies over generations—even if some members make the ultimate sacrifice of their lives. But, once again, note: even though "selfless" individuals might give out of the goodness of their hearts without consciously expecting anything in return, they must in fact receive enough help from others to support their giving lifestyle. Mother Theresa could not have done what she did without others supporting her causes. Someone who only gives and never receives from others will soon be used up and die.

Equity theory

It might surprise you to learn that the recipients of charity are not always happy to receive something for nothing. People actually prefer gifts when they are able to give something in return as opposed to gifts with no strings attached ( Walster, Berscheid, & Walster, 1976 ). Just as people do not really want to give without receiving, people generally do not want to receive without giving. Both violate the desire for equity.

Given that society encourages equitable relationships, that most people do not really want to give more than they receive, and that many recipients feel guilty about receiving more than they can give back, who is promoting selfless service as an admirable virtue, and why?

One way of answering that question is to ask another question, namely, the title of this blog: Cui bono? Who benefits from the idea that we ought to serve without expectation of reward?

Well, the recipients of charity clearly benefit, even if they might feel some guilt and discomfort from receiving without giving back. Maybe getting something for free is worth the discomfort—particularly if you need the handout to stay alive.

The providers of selfless service can also benefit in a number of ways—whether or not they consciously expect to benefit. First, as I've mentioned several times, people who selflessly serve feel good about themselves . They may also receive gratitude from those they serve and admiration from society at large. (Charitable organizations such as THON rarely hide the light of their good deeds under a basket; instead they seek positive publicity by broadcasting stories about the good they are doing.) If religious and spiritual leaders are correct, selfless service will result in much more than good feelings or social recognition: It might actually bring you salvation or enlightenment (but remember, only if you are not expecting salvation or enlightenment!). Some folks see no need to be evasive about receiving benefits from "selfless service." For-profit organizations recognize and openly discuss how doing good is good business and therefore strategically associate themselves with charitable work . Malcolm X is said to have quipped, " Doing good is a hustle, too ."

So, both givers and receivers can benefit from "selfless" service (even when the giver does not consciously intend to benefit. But there is a third group outside the givers and receivers who have something to gain from selfless service: persons in power who want free labor or free money—not because they need it, but because they can get away with it. I'm thinking of preachers who fleece their flocks , becoming ultra-rich by preaching the virtue of charitable giving. I'm thinking of war-lords who gain power by exaggerating external threats and convincing patriotic young people to sacrifice their lives in unnecessary wars . And I am thinking of any kind of "mandatory service" program, because, in the words of James Joyner , "the idea of mandatory voluntarism is as creepy is it is oxymoronic."

"Selfless" service can provide benefits to the giver, as long as the giver is not forced to serve or pressured into service with the promise that it will bring happiness . To bring happiness , service must be truly voluntary. In my next post, I will write about how different kinds of service can bring happiness to different personality types.

John A. Johnson, Ph.D. , is a professor emeritus of psychology at Pennsylvania State University.

• Find a Therapist
• Find a Treatment Center
• Find a Psychiatrist
• Find a Support Group
• Find Teletherapy
• United States
• Brooklyn, NY
• Chicago, IL
• Houston, TX
• Los Angeles, CA
• New York, NY
• Portland, OR
• San Diego, CA
• San Francisco, CA
• Seattle, WA
• Washington, DC
• Asperger's
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Eating Disorders
• Passive Aggression
• Personality
• Goal Setting
• Positive Psychology
• Stopping Smoking
• Low Sexual Desire
• Child Development
• Therapy Center NEW
• Diagnosis Dictionary
• Types of Therapy

Understanding what emotional intelligence looks like and the steps needed to improve it could light a path to a more emotionally adept world.

• Coronavirus Disease 2019
• Affective Forecasting
• Neuroscience

Feel the Joy of Giving Without Expecting Anything In Return

by Laurie Jonas | Jul 25, 2021 | Personal Development | 0 comments

I’ve discovered a lot about myself in pursuing personal development over the last few years. One thing was that I often worked with a fixed mindset. One trait of fixed mindset thinking is seeking validation for what you do. Part of that is confidence, but part of that is expecting something in return for my achievements. And then, one of my clients told me he was angry at his family because they weren’t giving back to him after he helped them out with a project. I realized that this is common.

It isn’t easy to be giving without expecting anything in return.

As I coached my client, and myself for that matter, I asked him why he was helping his family. He said, “Because that is who I am, that is what I do, I help people.” And I thought to myself, “I share my gifts because that is who I am, it is what I love to do, and I want to help people.”

We need to let that be enough.

Give of yourself without thinking about what you will receive in return. Put no conditions on your giving. Not everyone thinks like you and may not have the same desire to give. Let that be OK, and be grateful that you do. Not to be better than anyone else, but just to spread as much love as possible – more love will automatically come back to you. You don’t have to force it; it’s a law of the Universe .

Give because others need it, not because you are hopeful of receiving. There’s joy to be found in giving without expecting anything in return.

It’s a lesson many need to learn, and the only way to know the beauty of this message is to experience it. To feel the freedom and release it brings you to not worry about what anyone else is doing and focus on what you can do.

Invisible Invoicing – Giving Without Receiving

I heard that term the other day, which inspired me to write this post. Invoicing others in your head when you do something. It might sound something like this:

• I did that, so now someone else has to do it next.
• What’s in it for me?
• Looking for a reward.
• Expecting acknowledgment for showing appreciation to someone.
• Keeping score – remember who paid or helped last.
• Always reminding others what you have done.
• Making others feel guilty about not giving as much.

Ways to give without expecting anything in return:

• Give the money you can spare.
• Let someone vent to you without needing to fix things.
• Share your gifts with someone just because you love to do them.
• Help or visit others because that is what your heart is telling you to do. Don’t make others feel guilty about not doing the same. Ask for help if needed instead.
• Listen to an opinion without trying to change their mind.
• Let someone tell you a story without sharing something to “one-up” them.
• Be forgiving.
• Stop and help someone, even if you are in a hurry.
• Tell someone how well they are doing or how beautiful they are without looking for a return compliment.

In Richard Carlson’s book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff , he says this:

“It’s really true that one should give for the sake of giving, not to receive something in return. This is precisely what you are doing when you don’t mention your kindness to others – your rewards are your warm feelings that come from the act of giving. The next time you do something really nice for someone else, keep it to yourself and revel in the abundant joy of giving.” 

Disclaimer: This link is an affiliate link, which means I may receive a commission should you click through to make a purchase.

Use the Emotional Scale

Pay attention to what you think the next time you give to others. Be aware of any invisible invoicing going on. What can you let go of? Disappointment, anger, jealousy, or guilt? All those emotions are low on the vibrational scale. Can you feel content knowing you did something kind? Work your way up the scale and see what comes back to you when you start giving without expecting anything in return.

You can even learn how to use the Emotional Scale to Attract More of What You Want .

Your emotions are a guidance system to how aligned you are with your spirit. The feelings that come from expecting something from someone keep you in the blue and purple. When you are in the pink section, your vibrational energy is high. Notice the feeling, then see how you can work your way up the scale.

Let’s be kind for the sake of being kind. Let’s appreciate the feeling that comes with giving without expecting anything in return. Leave a comment below and let me know if you find yourself invisible invoicing too. But if you don’t, I appreciate that you read this far, and I hope you have a great day! (Whew, that feels good!)

I'd love to hear from you! Cancel reply

Marvelous milestones journal.

Your personal space to celebrate your journey, reflect on your growth, and set intentions for the future.

We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.

• Personal Development (88)
• Self Care (79)
• Manifesting (74)
• Just for Fun (52)

The Social Psychology Perspectives On Helping Others

The helping behaviour is a concept in social psychology which believes that a person voluntarily gives assistance to others, without regard as to whether a reward is expected in return or not. Various theories explain the psychology of helping – is it intrinsic, or self-motivated, or is it influenced by other variables?

Why do people help?

Intrinsic motivators.

Evolutionary Theory – The Kin selection model

Given that evolution supports natural selection, one would perform behaviours to increase their chances of surviving. An example of this can be seen in a family of hunters who help each other – if they share their resources and food with one another, the chances that they will survive and reproduce is greater than a family who does otherwise.

The Norm of Reciprocity

The idea of reciprocity states that a person helps because he expects to be helped in return. Furthermore, it also states that a person who has been helped previously, would feel indebted to help back those who helped them.

Arousal: Cost Reward Theory

According to this theory, the presence of an emergency situation elicits emotional arousal in bystanders. This feeling of arousal may be fear, anxiety or sympathy. When a bystander starts to feel as such, he becomes upset and extends help to the situation to relieve such feelings. The heavier the need, the more emotionally straining it is, therefore increasing the likelihood of wanting to help.

This theory suggests that the helping behaviour is driven by the need to relieve oneself from the emotional arousal brought about by situations in which help is needed.

Extrinsic motivators

Empathy-Altruism Theory

Altruism is the idea of helping others without expecting anything in return. Empathy, on the other hand, is the ability of a person to place oneself in another’s shoes to understand what the other is feeling. This theory combines the idea of both – when one feels empathic towards another, he feels the need to help and relieve them of their suffering.

This theory revolves around ‘empathic concern,’ which are emotions felt by a person when he sees somebody in need. The person’s priority now centers around the other person’s needs and relieving them, instead of focusing on his own.

The Norm of Social Responsibility

Social responsibility is a feeling that a person has an obligation to act in such a way that benefits the whole society. With this, a person has a duty to fulfil to maintain the balance in his environment. A person may do this actively, for example donating money to government NGO’s, or passively, such as ensuring that he commits no harm to others with his deeds.

Why do people not help?

The Bystander effect

This concept states that the presence of bystanders inhibits or decreases the likelihood of a person helping another. The more bystanders there are, the less likely that the person will extend help [ an experiment on bystander effect ]. Several variables explain as to why this occurs.

This variable pertains to a person’s perception of how grave the need is. High ambiguity situations would cause a person to have second thoughts about helping – for example, a soft cry vs. a loud scream.

Cohesiveness

This variable affects the likelihood that bystanders will help another based on familiarity with the person in need.

Diffusion of responsibility

The presence of other bystanders leads one to believe that the others will take responsibility. This may be affected by skills or qualifications, in which one believes that others are more qualified to help, thereby avoiding giving unwarranted assistance.

Related posts:

• The Social Psychology Aspect of Attitude
• What is Social Relationship?
• To Help or Not To Help?
• Motivation in psychology
• The Psychology of Aggression

Categories: Psychology notes ​ Social Psychology

2 Responses

• Pingbacks 0

references, please ..

Who is the author ?

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Post comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed .

• Frequently Asked Questions
• Helpful Free Resources
• Happiness & Fun
• Healthy Habits
• Love & Relationships
• Mental Health
• Mindfulness & Peace
• Purpose & Passion
• Fun & Inspiring
• Submit a Post
• Books & Things
• Tiny Buddha’s Breaking Barriers to Self-Care

“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” ~Samuel Johnson

Some people say there’s no such thing as a selfless act—that any time we do something to help another person, we get something in return, even if it’s just a warm fuzzy feeling.

I’ve spent a lot of time playing with this idea in my head. It doesn’t really bother me to know it feels good to help someone else. That, to me, is a completely acceptable type of selfishness. What give me cause for concern are the underlying expectations we often have when we give “selflessly.”

We’ve all been there. You cover for your coworker because you know you’ll need her assistance next month. You give your sister $20, and then silently look for ways she can pay you back, even if not monetarily. You help your friend get leads for a job, and then feel angry when she isn’t as proactive in offering you support.

I’ve found that these expectations cause more stress than joy. They mar the act of giving, which makes me feel slightly guilty; they lead to disappointment if the person I helped doesn’t return the kindness; and they tie my intentions to an internal score card, which places a wedge in my relationships.

Recently I’ve been asking myself, “What is my expectation?” before I do something for another person. The answer I find most acceptable, cheesy as it may sound, is to feel good and show love. Strangely, when I release the need to control what I get for giving, I get enough, somehow.

I’ve made a list of twenty things you can do to show you care, without needing the recipient to return the kindness—twenty ways giving is its own reward. Maybe some of these will resonate with you. Or perhaps you’ll want to write your own list to spur the spirit of giving without expectations. (Although I’ve written you , these are things I try to do.)

1. Give money you can spare to someone who needs it and then pretend you never had it.

2. Let someone tell a story without feeling the need to one-up them or tell your own.

3. Let someone vent, even if you can’t offer a solution , just to be an ear—without considering how well they listened to you last week.

4. Help someone who is struggling with difficult feelings by admitting you’ve felt the same thing—without considering whether they’d be as open with you.

5. Ask, “What can I do to help you today?” Then let it go after following through.

6. Tell someone how you feel about them , even if it makes you feel vulnerable, just to let them know they’re loved and not alone.

7. Apologize when you’ve acted selfishly , even if you don’t like feeling wrong, because it will remind the other person they deserve to be treated with respect.

8. Let someone else educate you , even if you’re tempted to stay closed minded, because you value their knowledge and appreciate their willingness to share it.

9. Forgive someone who wronged you because you have compassion for them, not because you know they’ll owe you.

10. Hold someone’s hand when they feel vulnerable to let them know you haven’t judged them.

11. Give your full attention to the person in front of you when you’re tempted to let your thoughts wander just to show them their words are valuable.

12. Assume the best when you’re tempted to suspect someone for no valid reason —even if they haven’t always given you the benefit of the doubt.

13. Accompany someone to an appointment or drive them to an interview when they need support just to help them feel strong.

14. Change your plans for someone you love if yours weren’t too important without questioning whether they’d do the same for you.

15. Teach someone how to do something without taking a superior position because they’ve likely taught you many things, whether they were obvious or not.

16. Leave a thoughtful comment on someone’s blog , not to build your readership but rather to show them how they affected you.

17. Tell someone you believe in their potential , even if they haven’t always shown you the same support.

18. Say no when it would make you feel good to say yes , because sometimes being kind means pushing someone to step up and try harder.

19. Tell someone you know they meant well instead of using their mistake as an opportunity to manipulate their guilt.

20. I’ve left this one open for you to write . How do you give just to show you care?

Let’s face it: none of us is always kind. Human nature dictates we’ll act with one eye on what’s in it for us, at least occasionally. And I think that’s okay, as long as we make an effort whenever possible to do good for the sake of it.

Releasing expectations doesn’t mean you give other people permission to treat you thoughtlessly. It just means you check in with your motivations and give because you want to, and then ask for things directly when you want them. People who care about you will be there for you in return.

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She’s also the author of  Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal , Tiny Buddha's Worry Journal , and Tiny Buddha's Inner Strength Journal  and co-founder of  Recreate Your Life Story , an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. For daily wisdom,  join the Tiny Buddha list here . You can also follow Tiny Buddha on  Facebook ,  Twitter , and  Instagram .

Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom :)

Related posts:

Free Download: Buddha Desktop Wallpaper

Recent Forum Topics

• Victorious Victim
• Should I start over
• Am I at the end of my journey?
• Confused about relationship – Need help
• “You are enough” – Or am I really?
• Should a “Cheating” Girlfriend be forgiven over a technicality?
• Be your best everyday – a wise ambition?
• Is he playing?? Have I been ghosted?? Feeling stupid and heartbroken
• My first love accepted my request, is it worth messaging her and what do I say?

Fun & Inspiring

Your Anxiety Is Lying to You

GET MORE FUN & INSPIRING IMAGES & VIDEOS .

Latest Posts

A Little Hope and Encouragement for Hard Times

Finding Magic in the Dreams That Didn’t Come True

The Surprising Way a Breakup Can Help Heal Your Heart

How to Recognize a Toxic Relationship and Know When It’s Time to Leave

The Beauty in the Broken: How to Celebrate the Fragility of Life

This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.

Tiny Buddha, LLC may earn affiliate income from qualifying purchases, including from the Amazon Associate Program.

Before using the site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use .

Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking.

Who Runs Tiny Buddha?

Get More Tiny Buddha

•   Twitter
•   Facebook
•   Instagram
•   Youtube
•   RSS Feed

Credits & Copyright

• Back to Top

Give Without Expecting Something in Return

By Frank Sonnenberg 15 Comments

When you do someone a favor , do you expect them to reciprocate? Or do you give freely , without expecting something in return?

Some people expect to benefit every time they do something. It doesn’t matter whether they go out of their way for a friend, perform a chore at home, put in extra hours at the office, bend over backward for a customer, or console a neighbor in a time of need. And even though they might not express their expectation right away, you know it’s coming. That’s because they’re keeping a mental tally — and they have VERY good memories.

Not just that, some folks manipulate others by using The Law of Reciprocity. This powerful psychological principle states that if you give someone something, the recipient will feel compelled to return the favor. It doesn’t matter if you give someone a gift, a kind gesture, or a material possession. The result is the same — they’ll feel that they owe you! If you think this type of giving is disingenuous, it is.

When you give something with strings attached, your focus is on how you’ll benefit personally. On the other hand, when you give of yourself without expecting something in return, your entire focus is on pleasing the recipient.

You’re not really giving if you expect something in return.

Giving with Strings Attached Isn’t Really Giving

Selfish people have one eye on giving and the other eye on calculating the return. That’s unattractive. How would you view someone who…

• Thinks “What’s in it for me?” every time you ask her to do something?
• Wants a medal for doing extra work or for putting in extra time at the office?
• Asks for a favor the first time you meet him? (He calls that networking.)
• Keeps score every time she does something?
• Goes out of his way for you, but says “you owe me”? (And he means it.)
• Compares her level of effort to others, just so she’s not doing more?
• Says, “What will you give me?” when you request help?
• Does something really nice? (But never lets you forget it.)
• Gives you something? (But expects to be paid back in spades.)
• Performs an act of kindness? (But makes you feel guilty about it.)

A guilt trip isn’t a great gift.

Give with No Strings Attached

People who adopt a “What’s in it for me?” attitude are obsessed with benefitting every time they do something. This mindset has significant consequences.

First, this attitude is unproductive . Some folks get frustrated if they don’t benefit from their efforts. This can lead to anger and resentment — causing friction in the best of relationships.

Second, this attitude is ugly . If you think being selfish isn’t blatantly obvious to others, you’re kidding yourself. Think about folks you can trust or count on. Do selfish people come to mind?

Third, this attitude is depressing . When everything you do has strings attached, you never experience the uplifting feeling that comes from giving without those strings attached.

Give for the Right Reason

If you think people benefit from a selfish mindset, you’ve got it all wrong. Giving shouldn’t come with demands, conditions, a hidden agenda, or a scorecard.

When you give of yourself and expect something in return, it’s a transaction not a kind gesture. You have one eye on your actions and the other on what you’ll get in return. That not only takes you away from the moment, but you can’t do your best or be your best when you have a hidden agenda.

You might not always benefit from giving of yourself. But you can take great pride in knowing that you’re making a positive difference in the world. While takers may accumulate a lot of things in life, they’ll never experience the joy of being a giver. Here’s the secret: Give for the right reason — and that is, give for no reason at all.

Are You a Giver?

Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.

Additional Reading: Being Generous Doesn’t Cost a Penny Karma: Make Your Own Luck Good Relationships Don’t Keep Score Giving: The Most Important Lesson in Life Networking Tips: Make Networking Work for You The Gift of Giving What Does It Take to Show a Little Kindness?

If you like this article, subscribe to our blog so that you don’t miss a single post. Get future posts by RSS feed, email or Facebook . It’s FREE.

FrankSonnenbergOnline is once again honored to be listed among the “Top 50 Self-Improvement & Personal Development Blogs and Websites” in the world.

About Frank Sonnenberg

Frank Sonnenberg is an award-winning author and a well-known advocate for moral character, personal values, and personal responsibility. He has written 10 books and has been named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders” and one of “America’s Most Influential Small Business Experts.” Frank has served on several boards and has consulted to some of the largest and most respected companies in the world. Frank’s newest book, Leadership by Example: Be a role model who inspires greatness in others , was released June 2023.

Additionally, his blog — FrankSonnenbergOnline — has attracted millions of readers on the Internet. It was recently named one of the “Best Self-Improvement and Personal Development Blogs” in the world and continues to be listed among the “Best Inspirational Blogs on the Planet.”

© 2024 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from FrankSonnenbergOnline.com is strictly prohibited.

April 8, 2020 at 10:51 am

Again I heartily agree with your actionable tips Frank Sonnenberg. And to optimize what we give it helps, in conversation, to ask follow-up questions (notice how rarely people do that) to demonstrate an interest in the other person and gain deeper knowledge about what and why they brought up that topic. Then it is easier to find sweet spots of mutual interest so you can cultivate a deeper relationship. Also be specific as it reduces the chance of being misunderstood and what you say has more credibility and memorability – helping you and others. These behaviors boost the chance of developing a mutuality mindset, in which I deeply believe. Healthy relationships are based, not on a quid pro quo yet an ebb and flow of mutual support over time. I look forward to continuing to learn from you Frank

April 9, 2020 at 9:40 am

You’re absolutely right, Kare

Some folks, blinded by greed, will stop at nothing to get what they want. Then they act surprised that their relationships break down.

The converse is when people actively seek overlapping areas of interest where everyone benefits. You call this a mutuality mindset. I wholeheartedly agree with that win-win philosophy. Thank you for being a thought leader in this important area.

Thanks for taking the time to write.

September 4, 2020 at 11:53 am

Give unconditionally not with a condition or several conditions, don’t remind someone of something you did for them its not good if you have to remind someone of a kind gesture in other words how kind was the gesture. Tick for tack is so childish!

September 7, 2020 at 7:58 am

You’re so right, Suood

As someone said, “A friend is someone who does things that count, but doesn’t stop to count them.”

October 15, 2020 at 7:51 pm

Frank, I need your help please. Of course agreeing wholeheartedly with your information! My 32-year-old son is struggling with a relationship with me his mom right now because he says I am a conditional giver. As an adult, he experiences two financial benefits from us. 1- we helped him buy a car from us interest fee with a reasonable payment he set. I call this a “deal,” not a gift. Since he is our son, we do not look at the interest saved as a gift, more like a bump which is what parents do. But we have granted other bump/gifts to all three kids (32, 33, 34) as young aspiring professionls. In the last five years, some of them had career changes, moved out of state, started over, were laid off, etc., so we offered to pay during these growing years car and health insurance, gym memberships (set fee for all 3), car registrations, pet insurance (they all insist on having dogs that on any given day they might now be able to afford), and any major medical and dental not covered. Two had vislighn dental work $5000 each), one had lasek ($4000). All part of us helping our kids. We consider these bump/gifts from parents who can affotd to share from our blessings. One thank you was sufficient when we offered and we never bring this up. But i do notice lately with my son’s gym that is has been consistently over budget and yet i havent said anything. I would hope he would maybe be more self-conscientious, knowing he was charging a guest pass or meal and bring it to my attention ahead of me getting the bill. But not so, so i let it slide. Then circling back to the car deal with him, same idea. He was going on 3 months late on his payment, which he has missed here and there before and i have to nudge him, and yet this time let it go into the third month before he called me and said sorry and made 2 payments. Fine but again, I reminded him if i was the lender, you cannot do that. You should always call. Simple parenting reminder for his life toolbox. My question, since it was my son who sent me this article and is accusing me of always having strings attached and making him feel guilty, how do you give a gift/bump joyfully and not be accused of being conditional when all we really expect is common respect? Isn’t that simple rule what we teach our kids? I am proud to say that my son acts respectful and says thank you in other areas, yes very much so. But why now are we giver/takers when he struck the car deal like an adult getting a great deal and accepted our gift/bumps no questions asked? Please help me. This all resulted in an incident where he broughts his friends to our Park City home, which is unconditionally open to our kids as our second home, and because I corrected him in front of his girlfriend that he should had left a thank you note or called his step dad, I am now a giver/taker who repeatedly makes him feel guilty for anything we do for him. Hum. Help me please. Yet, I had been noticing a gym bill that has extra expenses tacked on a regular basis. How does the child/parent relationship differ when a grown adult offspring negotiates a deal or accepts his parents handouts and we share our disappointment on one occassion that they could have shown more or quicker gratitude? When I used the gym expenses and car payments that I let slide as an example of not always stating our disappointment, that backfired as me causing more guilt. He says our money causes him guilt.

October 16, 2020 at 8:58 am

This is tough stuff. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Unfortunately, without knowing you or your family, it would be reckless for me to offer advice.

I suggest that you set up a meeting with your financial advisor. I’m sure they’ve experienced similar situations with other clients. They help you address your immediate issue and help you develop a strategy to move forward.

August 23, 2021 at 11:39 am

Hi Sue you’re in a very difficult situation and my heart goes out to you. Here are my thoughts and remember this is just my opinion and the position I’ve decided to take from my own personal experience. I consider myself a giver and someone who thinks of others and I often struggled with the same thoughts like you – am I giving with expectations of receiving a “thank you” etc., I think when you’re giving to someone (a child, friend etc.,) and the receiver starts to feel a sense of entitlement or exhibits signs of expectancy then the ongoing giving should STOP. Giving is wonderful, it makes us feel good helping others but when you begin to see negative behavior or character traits in my opinion this prevents the other person from becoming the best that they can be and the beauty of “giving and receiving” is lost. The atmosphere becomes cold and hostile like what you’ve described with your son. You and your husband have been great parents to your kids. As parents all we want in life is for our kids to grow up be independent, healthy adults who are polite, thoughtful and givers themselves. Good luck and set boundaries in your giving. Speaking from experience.

December 30, 2020 at 8:23 pm

You are 100% accurate!

I know several people who give with stings attached. My ex boss, who is a malignant narcissist, would do this. I never wanted to accept anything from her because I knew she would guilt trip me in the future if I wouldn’t come in on my day off or do something else that was completely beyond what is expected of an employee.

My sister is also like this with everyone, including her kids. I think she is also a narcissist. She buys people things and then expects us all to be indebted to her. I hate feeling manipulated by it. I don’t even like accepting gifts from her because I know there will be strings attached.

If I can’t babysit for her or watch her dogs when she’s out of town, she gets upset and brings up how much she does for me. Because I don’t have kids, she just thinks I can drop everything and watch her kids or dogs for her. If her kids upset her she will tell them how much she’s sacrificed for them and has done for them. It’s unfortunate she can’t see this in herself because she has already alienated one of her kids who recently decided to live with his dad. She never thinks she’s the one with the problem. If I try to bring this up with her she will get mad at me and not speak to me for months. I don’t think she’s ever apologized to me (or anyone else) once in her life.

She hates accepting gifts from people because she says she doesn’t want to be indebted to them, even though most other people don’t think that way, but obviously she does.

It’s very frustrating to have someone like this in your life, especially a family member.

December 31, 2020 at 9:11 am

I hear you Sharon.

As I said in the post, “You’re not really giving, if you expect something in return.”

When you give something with strings attached, your focus is on how you’ll benefit personally. On the other hand, when you give of yourself without expecting something in return, your entire focus is on the recipient.

I get a lot of joy from giving of myself. I guess some people haven’t learned that life lesson, yet.

March 31, 2021 at 4:30 pm

Each day the following reminder pops up on my lock screen at 6:00 AM:

“Remember to give more than you get today. Do it with a joyful heart and look for no earthly reward or expression of thanks.”

April 1, 2021 at 9:20 am

Excellent suggestion, Rudi. Thanks for sharing 🙂

July 18, 2021 at 4:24 pm

This issue is so relevant to my husband and I right now. His dad and step mum are very much tally keepers. Thankfully we have been very self sufficient through the years and have worked hard at not asking them for any favours. Unfortunately in March we all got covid and had to self isolate, so needed their help to bring us emergency groceries and meds a couple of times. My husband wasn’t comfortable and warned we would end up in debt. I’d replied that it was exceptional circumstances. Surely it was a human kindness? Lo and behold, soon after that she expected me to water her plants while they were away, bearing in mind I work 10 hour shifts. She wanted payment… and that was that. Left a bad taste in my mouth and proved my husband right How sad.

July 20, 2021 at 6:56 am

I hear what you’re saying, Roz. It’s sad.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to change folks who are set in their ways. The only thing we can control is the way that we treat others.

As someone said, “A friend is someone who does things that count, but doesn’t stop to count them.” 

September 22, 2021 at 8:43 am

Thank you for posting this article because it’s so relevant to my situation.

I stayed with my nephew and his family for 4 months recently and it became a stay in hell.

When I first moved in he extended to me a no- strings attached visit. But soon after moving in conditions and manipulation tactics were added. Cleaning the kitchen and bathroom and cooking meals 4 times a week.

He argued that I should want to do these things because I was staying at his house for free.

He cited an example of a family friend who had stayed at his home. She would cook and clean during her stays with them and she had no problem doing it because she was showing her appreciation. I should be doing the same.

At first I obliged but soon it started feeling similar to indentured servitude. A repayment for allowing me to stay there when this was never agreed to, much less ever discussed.

I tried to return what I thought was kindness but it started feeling like I was being used if you consider that money from my own pocket was being spent to buy cleaning products and food for meals.

In the end it turned into a situation of abuse, manipulation and coercion and I objected and it turned ugly. Suffice it to say I moved out.

My nephew could use to read this article but he wouldn’t, much less accept it as helpful and learn from it.

Thank you for your article.

September 23, 2021 at 8:19 am

Hi Raymond —

I’m sorry that you had this experience with your nephew.

I believe it’s important to establish expectations before an agreement is reached. The agreement doesn’t have to be formal; it’s a basic understanding of everyone’s expectation. Furthermore, once ground rules are established, and agreed upon, there’s a lot less chance for misunderstandings going forward.

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

• Popular Posts
• Top Business Posts
• Live and Learn
• Inspirational Quotes

CHARACTER MATTERS

• 24 Key Personality Traits

Why It’s Important Helping Others Without Expectation

• By Katherine Hurst
• Updated July 22nd, 2020

Have you ever given without expectation? If you have then you know that helping others can be extremely rewarding.

Not because it makes you a better person, but knowing that you were able to make someone else’s life a little bit better through your actions.

We live in a world with so many distractions.

It’s easy to forget about the importance of helping others.

We spend so much time focusing on our own lives, our own priorities, and our own goals.

Let’s explore why it’s not only important but vital to help others, without expectation, and how you can do so today. Also, make sure to read our quotes about helping others below.

Why Is It Important To Help Others?

We are all children of this planet. So, why is it important to help others?

Though we may be scattered and separated, we are all connected.

We are connected in spirit, vibration, and the human experience.

We all have the right to be alive, to be considered, and to be happy.

What makes us great as humans is our humanity.

Our love and compassion. Our hope and generosity.

It is a moral and ethical understanding that is unique to our species.

People are generally good and it’s important to remember that. So, why should we help others?

It’s very important to help others because when we help others in need we enrich our lives.

We raise the spirits of those around us and the people we help. It spreads love, and that is contagious.

It’s the greatest contribution, especially when it’s without any gains or expectations.

Helping others pays it forward to future generations and makes the world a better place overall.

What Are The Benefits Of Helping Others?

Helping others in need makes you happy. When we do this we cultivate gratitude and satisfaction.

Our blood pressure lowers and we find more meaning and purpose.

Helping others makes them happy. They get a sense of relief and satisfaction. It benefits society.

Helping others in need actually promotes better behavioral patterns in teens and young adults, teaching them to be generosity advocates in society.

It can make you live longer – Helping others actually reduces stress directly correlating to a smaller risk of disease and depression

It also connects you to others. You connect personally with the people you benefit, but you’ll also be in an ecosystem where you will also attract other good people around you.

Make new friends and expand your social circle with goodwill and benevolence.

As you can clearly see, there are many benefits to helping others. Start doing daily good deeds.

Helping Others Helps Us To Be Happy

The facts about helping others are real.

The law of attraction is all about what you think and you feel, you attract.

Wondering how to be happy is a common thing and it can start by bringing happiness to others.

If you study the psychology of helping others, the happiness it brings will have a compound effect on your life.

When we put out more positivity into the world, it is only going to bring about more positive people, events, and circumstances.

The personal experience we get from this is a better mind and a better feeling overall.

Our sense of identity also gets better.

We are more than our vocation, our belongings, our money. We are givers and philanthropists.

Helping Others Gives Us A Sense Of Purpose

Lacking a sense of purpose and belonging in the universe is something that is very common for a lot of people.

Without a sense of purpose, our souls and vibrancy are weaker.

Our souls are not as happy as they’d like to be.

We experience more lack and scarcity.

We don’t have something that is driving us with deep feelings and motivation.

Helping gives us a sense of feeling connected.

Helping others also creates a sense of belonging and reduces isolation.

We feel more in tune with humanity and the bigger picture. We realize that we can actually have a huge effect on the world, and that gives us more empathy and compassion.

A bigger impact gives us a bigger sense of purpose.

Helping Others Keeps Things In Perspective

We spend most of our lives focusing on ourselves, our family, and our friends.

We stay within a bubble that only allows us to expand our circle so much.

It’s actually quite small if you think about it.

When we learn to cast a net to more people, more institutions, we create a bigger circle for ourselves.

We feel more, learn more, and do more. It gives us a wider perspective.

When we help others it promotes gratitude. We are more thankful.

When you see how much you actually get from people who have so little, your entire reality shifts.

How To Help Others Today

Now let’s figure out how to actually take actionable steps toward helping others, whether it’s with money or without money. You can always do good deeds for your community or

help someone in need without money.

We can start by doing very simple things such as smiling and being friendly.

We can be kind and open doors for strangers. You can stop to help strangers in public with their cars.

Simply lending your ear to a friend in a tough situation is helpful.

How To Help Others In Need

There are many ways to help others.

Some need more vital help than others, such as those who lack the basic resources of food and shelter.

If you’d like to know how to help others in your community, you can help the homeless.

You can start by making care packages and delivering them in person.

You can also volunteer at a homeless shelter.

Volunteers are needed to organize food runs, food delivery, acquiring supplies, and getting donations.

Unfortunately in the United States right now there over half a million people that live on the streets every night.

There are so many homeless on the streets that the government doesn’t have the resources to help them all.

Shelters can get overrun and therefore they need more help from the community.

These are all people just like you and me. They have families.

They went to school just like you and me. For whatever reason, they ended up homeless.

How To Help Others Without Money

There are many ways you can help others without money.

When we think about helping others in need, people tend to think that only the homeless need help, but that is not true.

Another big issue is for families who lack the basic need for daycare.

Those who make little to no money or are perhaps single parents.

Daycare is extremely expensive and many times these parents have to lose what little money they have by putting off work.

So, you can volunteer to babysit. Having some freedom of time can completely change someone else’s life for them and their family.

You can also help friends in need.

Our mental health is so important. Many people are very depressed, and because this can bring guilt or shame, many depressed people don’t ask for help.

On average a year in the United States over 100,000 people die from suicide.

On average, 20 veterans die per day from suicide.

These are normal people in your area who have put themselves in harm's way to protect our way of life. They need plenty of help and support.

Just by smiling and lending a helpful ear, you can transform their lives.

With no money, there are meaningful ways to help others.

How To Help Others In Your Community

Our community needs plenty of help in many different areas.

There are many creative ways to help others, shape our community in a positive way, and give some love.

Elderly homes need help.

These are people who have worked hard their whole lives, raised families, and could now use extra assistance.

They need assistance with general companionship, classes, and activities, as well as mobile assistance.

Schools are always in need of help and volunteers.

There’s always donation drives to get more school supplies, teachers, and events.

Volunteer at a local school near you.

Free yoga and meditation in the park is a great way to bring mindfulness and gratitude to the community.

Offer your professional services for free if you think it might be of use to other people.

Helping and giving to the community without asking for anything in return is a beautiful way to create more meaning in your life.

As well, it passes on more love and caring to the world, which we need more of.

Kindness is contagious. Like Mother Teresa said, “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

Helping Others By Doing A Good Deed A Day

You can perform daily good deeds. It will fast track more meaningful ways to help others.

Here is a list of how you can do a good deed a day.

• Buy a random gift for a close family member or friend.
• Write a thank-you note to someone.
• When cooking or baking, make a double batch and give it to a neighbor or share it with work colleges.
• Find unused items in your house and donate them to a charity shop.
• Organize and cook a family meal.
• Pick up trash from the sidewalk.
• Help someone carry heavy grocery bags walking the same direction as you.
• Hold the door open for a stranger.
• Praise a colleague or a friend for doing something good.
• Help a stranger carry their heavy item up the stairs.
• Allow someone behind you, with only one or two items, to go ahead of you when queuing by the till.
• Give up your bus or train seat to an elderly person or pregnant woman.
• Buy an extra item while doing your grocery shopping and place it in the food donation bin instore.
• Pay for the person behind you at the drive-thru.

Doing good deeds a day will get you started on a great path, and you will soon discover the power of giving.

Quotes About Helping Others

Let’s look at some of these helping others quotes which express the importance of helping others.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson “No one has ever become poor by giving.” ― Anne Frank, “The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” ― Barack Obama “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ― Charles Dickens “It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.” ― Leo Buscaglia

Helping Others Without Expecting Anything In Return

Helping others without expectation will change your life in beautiful ways. It will raise your vibration , make you an optimistic person, and help you to live a happy life.

Keep the fire of giving burning. Use our examples and read more helping others quotes.

You will begin to understand what gratitude really means, and you will be happier and fulfilled. Helping yourself is just as important as helping others in need.

You can truly become the best version of yourself and live a life of more meaning and purpose.

To help, here is a self hypnosis to reach your full potential .

Table Of Contents

Join the Conversation Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Table of Contents

Why Giving Is Better Than Receiving: The Joy of Generosity

Aurora Simon

Welcome to our article on why giving is better than receiving! Many people have experienced the joy and fulfillment that comes from giving to others. Whether it’s a small act of kindness or a larger charitable donation, giving can have a profound impact on our lives and those around us. In this article, we will explore the benefits of giving, the importance of generosity as a social responsibility, and the psychological benefits of giving. We will also provide examples of generous acts and discuss the power of giving, as well as offer tips for cultivating a generous mindset. So why is giving better than receiving? Let’s find out!

Table of Contents

Benefits of Giving

Giving back to society can have a profound impact on our lives, both psychologically and socially. The benefits of giving are numerous and far-reaching, and they can positively impact not only the recipient but also the giver. Here are the top benefits of giving:

Improved Mental Health

Giving can have a positive impact on our mental health, helping to reduce stress and improve overall well-being. Studies have shown that individuals who engage in regular acts of giving are more likely to experience positive emotions and have a greater sense of life satisfaction.

Additionally, giving can help combat negative emotions such as anxiety and depression. By focusing on the needs of others and contributing to the betterment of society, individuals can shift their focus away from their own problems and find a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in life.

Increased Happiness

Helping others can create a positive emotional experience, leading to increased happiness and a greater sense of well-being. By engaging in acts of kindness and generosity, individuals can experience feelings of joy and satisfaction that can improve their overall quality of life.

Furthermore, giving can help individuals develop a more positive outlook on life. By focusing on the needs of others and contributing to positive social change, individuals may be more likely to view the world in a positive light and feel a greater sense of optimism and hope for the future.

Positive Impact on Society

By giving back to society, we can contribute to positive social change and help address issues such as poverty, inequality, and environmental concerns. Giving can have a ripple effect, inspiring others to give and creating a cycle of generosity and kindness.

Additionally, giving can help create stronger, more connected communities by promoting greater social cohesion and a sense of shared purpose among individuals. By working together to address common challenges, individuals can build stronger relationships and create a more supportive and inclusive society.

Overall, the benefits of giving are far-reaching and can have a profound impact on our lives and the world around us. By cultivating a spirit of generosity and focusing on the needs of others, we can experience increased happiness, improved mental health, and contribute to positive social change.

Importance of Giving

Giving is not only a personal choice, but also a social responsibility. As individuals, we have the power to make a positive impact on our communities and society as a whole through our giving. It is a moral obligation that we have towards others who are less privileged and in need of help.

Additionally, giving helps to address issues such as poverty and inequality. By donating to charitable organizations and supporting those in need, we can contribute to creating a more equal world where everyone has the opportunity to succeed.

Moreover, giving can also bring us a sense of fulfillment and purpose. It allows us to connect with others and make a difference in their lives. By giving to others, we can also cultivate a sense of gratitude and appreciation for what we have in our own lives.

Ultimately, as members of society, it is important that we acknowledge our responsibility to help those in need and contribute to creating a better world for all. Giving is a powerful way to do so.

Altruism and Selflessness

At the heart of giving is the concept of altruism, or selflessness. Altruism is the act of putting others before ourselves, without expecting anything in return. When we give to others, we are engaging in an altruistic act that can have a powerful impact on both the giver and the receiver.

There are many ways in which altruism can manifest in our lives. It can be as simple as holding the door open for someone, or as complex as donating a large sum of money to a charitable organization. Regardless of the scale of the act, the important thing is that it is done with a selfless motive.

Selflessness, on the other hand, is the state of being concerned more with the needs of others than with one’s own. When we are selfless, we prioritize the well-being of others over our own desires and needs. This can be a difficult mindset to cultivate, especially in a society that often prioritizes individualism and self-interest.

However, when we are able to adopt a selfless mindset, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities. We become more compassionate , empathetic, and able to connect with others on a deeper level. Our relationships become more meaningful, and we begin to see the world in a more positive light.

Ultimately, the power of altruism and selflessness lies in their ability to bring us closer to others. When we give without expecting anything in return, we create a bond of trust and mutual respect with those around us. We become part of a larger community, and are able to effect positive change in the world.

Psychological Benefits of Giving

Giving is not only good for the receiver but also has a significant positive impact on the giver’s mental and emotional well-being. The act of giving can produce a “helper’s high,” a physical and emotional sensation of joy and warmth that is often accompanied by a burst of energy.

Studies have shown that giving has therapeutic effects on the brain. When we give, our brain releases endorphins, producing positive feelings that can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. This, in turn, can lead to improved overall mental health and well-being.

Giving can also enhance our sense of purpose and meaning in life. By helping others, we feel a sense of connectedness to something greater than ourselves, and this can lead to a greater sense of purpose or meaning in life. Research shows that people who engage in volunteering and charitable giving often report higher levels of life satisfaction and happiness.

Moreover, giving can foster relationships and social connections. When we give to others, we strengthen our bonds with the people around us, and this can lead to a more positive and supportive social network. In turn, having a supportive social network can lead to increased resilience and an overall better quality of life.

The psychological benefits of giving are clear . It makes us feel good, gives us a sense of purpose, and fosters relationships and social connections. Giving can be an essential part of a healthy and fulfilling life.

Generous Acts

Generosity can take many forms, from donating money to volunteering time and resources. Here are some examples of generous acts that can have a positive impact on both the giver and receiver:

These examples demonstrate how generosity can take many different forms, and how each act of giving can have a unique and meaningful impact.

The Power of Giving

Giving has the power to transform both the giver and the receiver in profound ways. When we give selflessly, we create a ripple effect of kindness and generosity that can inspire others to do the same. Small acts of generosity can have a big impact on our communities, our world, and ourselves.

Studies have shown that giving can increase our levels of happiness and well-being. It can also help us build stronger relationships, develop a greater sense of purpose, and improve our mental health. Giving can also help address issues such as poverty and inequality, and promote social responsibility and moral obligation.

When we give without expecting anything in return, we can tap into the power of altruism and selflessness. These traits not only benefit those we give to, but they can also bring us a sense of fulfillment and joy that cannot be found in material possessions or selfish pursuits.

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” – Anne Frank

By cultivating a generous mindset and incorporating giving into our daily lives, we can create a positive cycle of kindness and compassion that extends far beyond ourselves. The power of giving is truly limitless.

Giving vs. Receiving

While receiving gifts can certainly bring joy and excitement, giving has been shown to have a more lasting positive effect on our well-being. When we give, the act of generosity can elicit feelings of happiness, fulfillment, and purpose.

In contrast, receiving may only provide temporary happiness and can often lead to feelings of obligation or guilt.

Moreover, studies have found that those who prioritize giving and generosity in their lives tend to have better mental health and overall life satisfaction.

Of course, it’s important to note that both giving and receiving are necessary components of healthy relationships and social interactions. However, when it comes to our own personal fulfillment and happiness, giving often has a greater impact.

So next time you’re faced with the choice between giving and receiving, consider the long-term benefits of generosity and how it can enrich your life and the lives of those around you.

Cultivating a Generous Mindset

If you want to experience the joy of giving, it’s essential to cultivate a generous mindset. Here are some tips to get started:

• Practice gratitude: When you’re grateful for what you have, you’re more likely to want to give to others. Take time every day to reflect on the good things in your life and express gratitude for them.
• Start small: Giving doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Start with small acts of kindness, like holding the door open for someone or buying a coffee for a friend.
• Be intentional: Make giving a deliberate part of your life. Set aside time and resources for giving, and be thoughtful about who you give to and why.
• Get involved: Look for opportunities to volunteer or get involved in your community. Giving your time and energy can be just as meaningful as giving money or resources.
• Lead by example: When you model generosity, you inspire others to do the same. Share your experiences of giving with friends and family, and encourage them to join you.

Remember, cultivating a generous mindset takes time and effort, but the rewards are profound. When you give to others, you not only make a difference in their lives but also experience the joy of generosity yourself.

The Ripple Effect of Giving

When we give to others, it has a ripple effect that extends beyond just the recipient. Our act of kindness can inspire others to do the same, creating a positive cycle of generosity and kindness.

Imagine if everyone made a conscious effort to give a little each day. The impact would be tremendous. We could create a world where people feel more connected, valued, and cared for. We could lift each other up and spread joy wherever we go.

Small acts of giving can have a big impact. For example, paying for someone’s coffee or holding the door open for a stranger can brighten that person’s day and inspire them to do something kind for someone else.

The ripple effect of giving can also extend to communities and beyond. When we donate to a cause we care about, we are contributing to something bigger than ourselves. Our donation can help fund research, provide resources, or support those in need. This creates a ripple effect that can positively impact the lives of many people.

It’s important to remember that giving doesn’t have to be grand or expensive. Even the smallest act of kindness can create a ripple effect that can go a long way. By being kind and generous, we can create a better world for ourselves and those around us.

FAQ on Why Giving Is Better Than Receiving

Here are some frequently asked questions about giving:

What is the best way to give?

There is no one “best” way to give. It really depends on your personal preferences and what cause you want to support. You could donate money to a charity, volunteer your time at a local organization, or even simply hold the door open for a stranger. The important thing is to give from the heart and in a way that feels meaningful to you.

How much should I give?

Again, this really depends on your personal circumstances and financial situation. It’s important to give what you can without putting yourself in financial hardship. It’s worth noting that even small donations or acts of kindness can make a big difference.

Can giving really make me happier?

Yes! Research has shown that giving can lead to increased happiness and well-being. When we give to others, it activates the pleasure centers in our brain and releases “feel-good” chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. Plus, the act of giving can help us feel more connected to others and create a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.

What if I can’t afford to give monetarily?

There are many ways to give that don’t involve money. You could volunteer your time at a local organization, donate items you no longer need to a charity, or simply offer a helping hand to a friend in need. The important thing is to give what you can, whether that’s money, time, or kindness.

How can I make giving a regular part of my life?

One way to incorporate giving into your daily life is to set aside a specific time or amount each month for charitable giving. You could also make a point to perform small acts of kindness each day, such as holding the door open for someone or complimenting a coworker. Another strategy is to seek out volunteer opportunities in your community and make them a regular part of your schedule.

Where can I learn more about giving and charitable organizations?

There are many resources available for those interested in giving and supporting charitable organizations. Some great places to start include Charity Navigator, GiveWell, and GuideStar. You can also reach out to local organizations in your community to learn more about their mission and how you can get involved.

About the author

With an enduring passion for human potential, I have dedicated my life to learning, growing, and most importantly, empowering others to discover their own unique paths to self-improvement. As a personal development blogger, I distill the wisdom gathered from various life experiences, books, seminars, and thought leaders to provide you with actionable insights and tools for your own growth. I believe that each one of us is capable of extraordinary things, and my mission is to help you unlock that potential. Join me on this journey of self-discovery, and together let’s cultivate a life filled with purpose, fulfillment, and joy. You can contact us here.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Latest posts

Giving Back To The Community Business: Make an Impact Today

Businesses have a powerful role to play in creating positive social impact and making a difference in their communities. Giving back to the community has become an essential part of corporate social responsibility, demonstrating a commitment to social and environmental causes beyond traditional business operations. Community involvement, social responsibility, and corporate philanthropy have become key…

Giving Back: Inspiring Articles On Giving Back to The Community

Community involvement is a powerful force that can create positive change in the world. Today, I have included inspiring articles on giving back to the community. Whether it’s volunteering at a local soup kitchen, donating to a charity, or simply taking the time to be kind to others, there are countless ways individuals can give…

Inspirational Quotes About the Importance of Giving Back

Giving back is a concept that has been around for centuries. The quotes about importance of giving back cannot be matched by material possessions. Below are some inspirational quotes about the importance of giving back that showcase the power of generosity and kindness: “No one has ever become poor by giving.” – Anne Frank “As…

Transitions and beginnings to a new you

Why Selflessness Matters And How To Practice (25 Simple Ways)

• StumbleUpon

Are you ready to unlock the secret to a more meaningful and fulfilling life? Discover the transformative power of selflessness and how it can bring joy to your heart and make a difference in the world.

In this article, we’ll delve into the true essence of selflessness, debunk myths surrounding it, and explore why it matters more than ever. Imagine fostering deeper connections, spreading kindness, and finding purpose in every action.

Whether you’re curious about the virtue of selflessness or seeking practical ways to embody it, we’ve got you covered with 25 simple and actionable methods.

Join us on this journey of compassion, empathy, and self-discovery, and witness the magic that unfolds when we put others before ourselves.

Understanding Selflessness

Let’s start by uncovering the essence of selflessness. It’s all about putting others before yourself, showing genuine care, and acting with compassion.

Selflessness means going beyond your needs and desires to support others, without expecting anything in return. It’s also about cultivating empathy as a guiding principle and finding joy in the well-being of others.

Debunking Misconceptions about Selflessness

Now, let’s clear up some common misconceptions. Selflessness isn’t about neglecting yourself or sacrificing your own happiness.

Moreover, it’s not about being a doormat or constantly saying “yes” to everything. Instead, it’s more of finding balance and understanding that taking care of yourself allows you to better care for others.

Contrasting Selflessness with Selfishness and Self-Sacrifice

Selflessness stands in stark contrast to selfishness. While selflessness seeks to uplift others, selfishness centers solely on personal gain and disregards the needs of others.

On the other hand, selflessness differs from self-sacrifice as well. Self-sacrifice involves giving up something for others, often at personal cost. While selflessness emphasizes acts of kindness without expecting personal loss.

Why Selflessness Matters

Discover the compelling reasons why selflessness holds the key to a more fulfilling and happier life.

1. Positive Impact on Personal Well-being and Happiness

First off, when you embrace selflessness, you open the door to a world of joy and contentment.

Scientific studies show that acts of kindness trigger the release of feel-good hormones, such as oxytocin. Boosting your mood and reducing stress.

By focusing on others’ well-being, you cultivate a positive mindset that contributes to your overall happiness .

2. Building Stronger and More Meaningful Connections with Others

Selflessness also nurtures deep and meaningful connections with the people around you.

When you genuinely care about others’ happiness, they feel valued and appreciated, strengthening the bonds of friendship and love. Moreover, the trust and support that grow from selfless acts create a network of support that enriches your life.

3. Fostering a Sense of Purpose and Fulfillment

Finally, when you contribute to the well-being of others, you discover a profound sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Selflessness allows you to make a positive impact on the lives of others and the world at large. Knowing that your actions can bring joy and comfort to others fills your heart with a sense of meaning and satisfaction.

Qualities of a Selfless Person

Discover the defining traits of a selfless individual, and unlock the power of compassion and generosity.

1. Empathy and Compassion

Empathy lies at the core of selflessness. A selfless person can therefore put themselves in others’ shoes. Understanding their feelings and experiences without judgment.

In addition, compassion naturally flows from this empathy, driving them to alleviate others’ suffering and offer support.

2. Putting Others’ Needs Before Their Own

Another hallmark of selflessness is the ability to prioritize others’ needs above their own. This doesn’t mean neglecting self-care. But rather, willingly sacrificing personal desires to ensure the well-being of others.

3. Altruistic Actions and Intentions

Selfless individuals also perform acts of kindness without expecting anything in return.

Their actions are driven by pure intentions, seeking to bring happiness and comfort to others without seeking personal gain.

4. Generosity and Kindness

Finally, a selfless person embodies generosity and kindness in their daily interactions. They willingly share their time, resources, and love. Always looking for opportunities to make a positive impact in the lives of others.

Practicing Selflessness: 25 Simple Ways

Ready to make a difference in the world? Discover 25 easy and impactful ways to foster selflessness and create a positive ripple effect.

From acts of kindness to supporting others in times of need, these simple practices will enrich your life and touch the hearts of those around you.

1. Listening Actively and Without Judgment

Take the time to truly listen to others, showing genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.

Practice active listening by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and offering encouraging words. Avoid interrupting or judging, creating a safe space for them to express themselves fully.

2. Offering a Helping Hand to Someone in Need

Another selfless act is to be the helping hand someone needs in challenging times.

Whether it’s assisting with errands, lending a hand with a project, or supporting them emotionally, your gesture can make a significant impact.

3. Volunteering Time and Skills for a Charitable Cause

You can also channel your energy into a cause you’re passionate about. Volunteer your time and skills for charitable organizations, helping those less fortunate and contributing to positive change.

3. Sharing Knowledge and Expertise with Others

Likewise, empower others by sharing your knowledge and expertise. Offer guidance, mentorship, or teach skills to help others grow and succeed.

5. Practicing Random Acts of Kindness

Next, you can never go wrong when you spread joy with small acts of kindness .

For instance, leave a positive note, buy a coffee for a stranger, or compliment someone genuinely. Your simple gestures can definitely brighten someone’s day.

6. Expressing Gratitude and Appreciation

Similarly, show gratitude to the people in your life. Take a moment to express appreciation for their presence and the positive impact they’ve had on you.

Because as Alfred North Whitehead put it, “No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude .”

7. Supporting a Friend or Loved One During Tough Times

Another act of selflessness is to be there for someone going through a difficult phase. Offer a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, or words of encouragement to help them navigate their challenges.

8. Being Empathetic and Understanding Others’ Perspectives

Next, you can practice selflessness by putting yourself in the shoes of others and striving to understand their feelings and perspectives.

When you empathize and see things from the other person’s perspective, you can definitely encourage deeper connections and promote harmony.

9. Donating to Those Less Fortunate

Give back to society by contributing to those in need. Whether through monetary donations or items, your generosity can make a significant difference.

10. Forgiving and Letting Go of Grudges

Selflessness can also mean letting go of resentment through forgiveness. So, let go of grudges and adopt a more optimistic and compassionate attitude.

It benefits both yourself and others to release negative emotions and demonstrate empathy, which leads to emotional healing and improved relationships.

“Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries, and grudges,” says Roy T. Bennet about letting go of negative emotions. “Life is too short to be unhappy.”

11. Making Someone Smile or Laugh

Bring joy to others by sharing humor and smiles. A simple joke or a lighthearted gesture can certainly brighten someone’s day.

12. Standing Up for Others in Times of Injustice

Being an advocate for justice and fairness is another act of selflessness you can practice.

Stand up for those facing injustice, discrimination, or unfair treatment. Your voice can make a difference and create positive change.

13. Being Patient and Tolerant of Others

Selflessness is also about practicing patience and tolerance in your interactions. Understand that everyone has their struggles and challenges, and by being patient, you can foster understanding and harmony.

14. Putting Others’ Needs Before Your Own

Embody the essence of selflessness by prioritizing the needs of others. Consider how you can be of service and lend a helping hand whenever possible.

15. Avoiding Gossip and Negative Talk About Others

Definitely, steer clear of gossip and negative conversations about others. Instead, focus on uplifting and positive discussions that promote unity and respect.

16. Celebrating the Success and Achievements of Others

Rejoice, however, in the accomplishments of those around you. Celebrate as well their success and let them know that you are genuinely happy for them.

17. Being Environmentally Conscious and Considerate

You can also practice selflessness by loving and caring for the planet and its inhabitants. Using environmentally friendly practices and encouraging others to do the same.

18. Encouraging and Uplifting Others

Be a source of motivation and encouragement. Offer kind words and support to uplift others when they need it the most.

19. Practicing Active and Sincere Listening

Moreover, truly engage in conversations with others. Listen actively, show interest, and respond thoughtfully, making the person feel valued and heard.

20. Being a Mentor or Role Model for Someone

What could be more selfless than serving as a mentor or positive role model and inspiring others?

Sharing your knowledge, skills, and experience with others. So they can grow and succeed, is a selfless act that can also be a rewarding experience for you and those you have inspired.

21. Respecting and Valuing Diversity

Embrace diversity and show respect for different cultures, beliefs, and perspectives. A respectful and inclusive attitude creates a harmonious environment.

22. Supporting and Promoting Charitable Organizations

Extend your support to charitable organizations working for noble causes. Amplify their impact by spreading awareness and encouraging others to contribute.

23. Being Generous with Compliments and Encouragement

Being generous with compliments and encouragement is also an act of selflessness. Because it involves giving without expecting anything in return.

And by focusing on others, empowering them, and spreading positivity, you create a deeper bond and boost emotional well-being.

It’s definitely a simple yet powerful way to brighten someone’s day and contribute to a more caring and compassionate world.

24. Participating in Community Service and Outreach

Get involved in your community through service and outreach. Participate in initiatives that benefit your neighborhood and its residents.

25. Treating Everyone with Kindness and Dignity

Show kindness and respect to everyone you encounter. Treat others with dignity, regardless of their background or status.

Bonus: Cultivating an Attitude of Altruism in Everyday Life

Incorporate selflessness into your daily life. Make it a habit to choose compassion and empathy, making the world a better place one action at a time.

By practicing these simple ways of selflessness, you not only brighten others’ lives but also cultivate a deeper sense of fulfillment and happiness within yourself.

Is Selflessness a Good Thing?

Discover the nuances of selflessness and how finding the right balance leads to a more fulfilling and sustainable approach.

Exploring the Potential Drawbacks and Challenges of Excessive Selflessness

While selflessness is admirable , excessive self-sacrifice can have its challenges.

Giving too much without considering your own well-being can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion. It’s essential to be mindful of your own needs and limitations while being selfless.

Striking a Balance Between Selflessness and Self-Care

Finding a healthy balance is key. Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for maintaining your well-being and capacity to help others.

Recognize when to take a step back, recharge, and ensure your own needs are met. So you can continue to be a positive force for others.

Understanding Healthy Boundaries While Being Selfless

Set boundaries to protect your emotional and physical health. Learning to say “no” when necessary doesn’t diminish your selflessness. Rather, it preserves your energy and enables you to offer more meaningful support when you can.

Be mindful of these factors so that you can fully embrace the goodness of selflessness. While maintaining a long-term and compassionate approach to helping others.

Striking this balance improves your life as well as the lives of those you touch through your selflessness.

In conclusion, selflessness is not only a virtuous trait but also a transformative force that can enrich our lives and the lives of those around us. By understanding its true meaning and dispelling misconceptions, we open ourselves to a world of compassion and purpose.

Embodying selflessness allows us to build stronger connections with others , experience personal well-being, and make a positive impact on our communities.

Through the 25 simple ways of practicing selflessness, we can spread kindness, empathy, and generosity to create a chain of positivity that touches countless lives. However, it’s essential to strike a balance between selflessness and self-care, ensuring we care for ourselves while caring for others.

Let us remember that in a world often filled with challenges and uncertainties, selflessness is a beacon of light. Reminding us of the profound impact we can have through empathy and genuine care.

Together, let’s nurture a culture of selflessness, shaping a kinder and more compassionate world for ourselves and future generations.

As we practice selflessness, we discover not only the beauty of giving but also the joy of receiving from the heart. So, let us embark on this journey of compassion and altruism. For in selflessness, we find the essence of a truly meaningful and fulfilling life.

We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts and ideas about Why Selflessness Matters And How To Practice (25 Simple Ways) in the comments section below. We value your perspective and can’t wait to engage in a meaningful conversation with you.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Pin It on Pinterest

Steve Siegle, Psy.D., L.P.C.

Psychiatry & psychology.

• Behavioral Health
• Children's Health (Pediatrics)
• Exercise and Fitness
• Heart Health
• Men's Health
• Neurosurgery
• Obstetrics and Gynecology
• Orthopedic Health
• Weight Loss and Bariatric Surgery
• Women's Health

The art of kindness

• Balance your mental and emotional health

Kindness is more than behavior. The art of kindness involves harboring a spirit of helpfulness, being generous and considerate, and doing so without expecting anything in return.

Rather than viewing it exclusively as an action, think of kindness as a quality of being you can cultivate. Giving kindness often is simple, free and health-enhancing.

Good for the body

Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels. People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer.

Kindness can increase your sense of connectivity with others, decrease loneliness, combat low mood and improve relationships. It also can be contagious, encouraging others to join in with their own generous deeds.

Looking for ways to show kindness can give you something to focus on, especially if you are anxious or stressed in certain social situations.

Good for the mind

Physiologically, kindness can positively change your brain by boosting levels of serotonin and dopamine. These neurotransmitters produce feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure and reward centers in your brain to light up. Endorphins, your body's natural painkiller, also may be released when you show kindness.

Discover ways you can create happiness.

Be kind to yourself

When sharing kindness, it's not just how you treat other people — it's also about how you extend those same behaviors and intentions to yourself. I believe you can be kinder in your own self-talk and practice gratitude .

People are good at verbally beating themselves up which does not work as a pep talk. Rather, negativity often causes you to unravel and may even create a vicious cycle of regularly getting down on yourself. You wouldn't talk to your neighbor the way you sometimes speak to yourself. This is what I call the good neighbor policy, which can be helpful. If you wouldn't say it to your good neighbor, don't say it about yourself.

Take action

Start your day with this question: "How am I going to practice kindness today?" For a homework assignment, I have invited some patients to pay attention and periodically document their evidence of kindness to others and especially to themselves during the day. This positive focus is like planting positive seeds in your mind garden. Where focus goes, energy flows.

A young client recently asked if I wanted them to get on the ARK. When I asked what that meant, the client replied, "Acts of random kindness." How about you? Are you willing to get on the ARK?

Consider joining Mayo Clinic Health System's Kickstart Kindness program to start your kindness journey. The program offers many ideas on how to extend kindness to yourself, your community, environment, home, family, co-workers and others.

Finally, I'd like to leave you with this quote by the Dalai Lama: "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."

Steve Siegle is a licensed professional counselor in Psychiatry & Psychology in Menomonie , Wisconsin.

Related Posts

• The Importance and Benefits of Generosity

• March 26, 2023

Introduction

Generosity is a trait that has been praised and admired throughout history. From the charitable acts of Mother Teresa to the generous donations of Bill Gates, generosity has played a crucial role in making our world a better place. But generosity isn’t just about giving money or material possessions; it’s also about showing others your time, energy, and empathy. In this blog post, we’ll explore why being generous is important and how it can benefit you and those around you. So sit, unwind, and explore the beautiful world of generosity!

What is generosity?

Generosity is being kind and giving, especially with your time or money. When generous, you put others first without expecting anything in return. Charity is about giving more than you can afford and is often a way to show your love for someone.

Being generous doesn’t mean giving away all your possessions or constantly putting others before yourself. It simply means finding ways to help when you can, whether picking up a shift for a coworker or donating to a worthy cause. Generosity is often its reward, but there are also some science-backed benefits of being generous.

For one, generosity has been linked with happiness. In one study, people who gave money to charity were happier than those who didn’t. And in another study, people who performed acts of kindness were more satisfied than those who didn’t.

There is evidence suggesting that being generous is associated with improved physical health. For instance, one study found that individuals over 50 who volunteered for two or more organizations had a 44% lower chance of dying over five years than those who didn’t volunteer. In addition, another study discovered that people who assisted others had a reduced likelihood of developing high blood pressure compared to those who did not offer help.

So if you’re looking for ways to be happier and healthier, consider being more generous

Why is generosity important?

Being generous is one of the most crucial things you can do for yourself and others. Generosity has many benefits, including making you happier, improving your relationships, and helping those in need.

When you exhibit generosity, you are offering something that does not incur a high cost to you but can profoundly impact another person. Such an act of kindness has the potential to bring joy and light to their day and even improve their life. Even a small act of generosity can make a meaningful difference in someone’s life.

Being generous also makes you feel good about yourself. It’s a great way to boost your self-esteem and confidence. When you give to others, it feels good knowing that you have helped make someone’s life better.

In addition to making you feel good, being generous also improves your relationships. People will start to see you as kind and caring when you are always giving. They will be more likely to want to be around you and be your friend.

Lastly, one of the most important reasons to be generous is because it helps those in need. So many people in the world are less fortunate than we are. When we give to them, we are helping make their lives just a little bit easier. Even if we cannot alter the world, we can impact someone’s life by being kind.

The benefits of generosity

Generosity is often described as the quality of being kind and giving. It is a virtue that can be applied in many ways, from donating money to charities to volunteering your time to help others.

Many benefits come from being generous. One of the most obvious benefits is that it makes you feel good. When you give to someone else, it feels like you are making a positive difference in their life, which can help boost your mood and self-esteem.

Being generous can also help build strong relationships. When you give to others, they are more likely to reciprocate, creating a cycle of giving that strengthens your bond with them. Additionally, generosity can inspire others to give more, creating a ripple effect of kindness.

Finally, generosity has been shown to affect the giver positively. Studies have found that people who give regularly have lower blood pressure and longer lifespans than those who do not. So not only does generosity make you feel good, but it is also good for your health!

How to be more generous

Generosity is often thought of as giving money to charity, but it can be so much more than that. Generosity is about being kind and giving without expecting anything in return. It’s about changing someone else’s life, even if it’s just a little bit.

There are many ways to be more generous. You can give your time, energy, or resources. You can also be more generous with your words and actions. Here are some suggestions for how to improve:

• Give your time: Volunteer for a local organization or spend time with someone who may need some company.
• Give compliments: A kind word goes a long way and can brighten someone’s day.
• Give donations: If you have the means, consider donating to a cause or charity that is important to you.
• Pay it forward: When you receive generosity, be generous to others when you can.

Generosity has many benefits. It can make you happier and healthier, help build stronger relationships, and improve the world. So next time you have the opportunity, consider being more generous!

Generosity is a powerful emotion that can bring immense joy and satisfaction to our lives. Not only does it make us feel more connected to the people around us, but it can also lift our spirits and make us happier. Furthermore, generosity helps us create meaningful relationships with others, increases creativity, boosts self-esteem, and contributes to a healthier society overall. Therefore, if you have ever felt disconnected from those around you or unsatisfied with your life somehow, being generous could be the answer that unlocks all the answers!

http://mobileautodetailingkc.com

Major thankies for the article post.Thanks Again.

Leave A Comment Cancel Comment

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.